Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #51 - $5K REWARD!

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

David and Dana talk the LA fires, TikTok ban, AI, Trump and Obama, and much more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I went down the memory lane on an Airbnb I occupied once and it was, I'll just say it, awesome. It's clean, it was tidy, it was beautiful, it was private, great big kitchen, right next to a forest. What's not to like? David? You checked that box saying I'd like to be near a forest. That's a good thing.

A lot of people like Airbnb because you can do that. You can say, hey, I want a place with a pickleball court, you know, and they can find you on. You can be in town, you can be in the suburbs, you can be in the country. I mean, you can have a pool, you can not have a pool. I mean, the benefits of Airbnb are just the flexibility of it and the locations and privacy,

compared to hotels. Listen, hotels are fine and that's great, but sometimes I think if you get into an Airbnb and you see the convenience and all the things, you don't have to walk by people in the hallway and nod, get on the elevator and talk about the weather. So you realize that it might really be more tailored for you and it turns into the perfect accommodation.

Whether you're with family, friends, whatever, you're on your own. Consider Airbnb for your next adventure. I don't think you'll regret the switch. TD Direct Investing offers live support. So whether you're a newbie or a seasoned pro, you can make your investing steps count. And if you're like me and think a TFSA stands

for Total Fund Savings Adventure, maybe reach out to TD Direct Investing. All right, let's start this podcast. Here we go, Dana. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Three, two, one. Two. Fly on the wall.

Superfly. Fuck. I had one of the words was right. Yeah. Everyone knows. No one knows. Yeah, we don't even know. So if you're confused by the two podcasts, we are too. Yeah. Back to what you say about you can't trust anybody. We don't even know what, people don't even know what one they're watching with us. anybody. We don't even know what people don't even know what one they're watching with us. Right. They don't even, they're not even sure. Did David Spade play Garth and Dan Agarni? Was he in Tommy Boy? They don't know anything about us.

Are they AI? Yeah. They must be digital copies because I looked up their age. They look too good for it being real. Oh yeah. So they must be digital copies. Are they sisters? We don't know what's going on with these two guys. I haven't heard that one. I can't look at Twitter or anything. You cannot look at the comments. Do not look at the comments. Actually, our comments are shockingly, good, good bunch of people. This was a very good person, but it made my heart race. I mean, because I don't expose myself to anything that's just weird.

I was just casually looked down, really enjoy the podcast. It's fun and everything, but don't say at the end, sure hope you enjoy it. Cause that was just creepy. What? I know people are tough. Well, you know, they don't, they, a lot of people think that we have a script

that we're reading from during the entire podcast. Jeez, shockingly. A written script. This garbage. Yeah, we didn't write this. I think I was being intentionally a little Garthy. Like, sure, hope you enjoy it. Like, the nerdiest thing you could say. But the idea that that even bothered me for one second bothered me. I know. Yeah. Dude, it's like good comment. You start to relax, your defenses are down,

and then you fucking suck. Were you ever funny? These two asshole. Uh, by the way, I don't want to say I'm getting old because I look fucking good looking like cool. I like the, uh, you're, you're a college rower. You're on the rowing team with that thing. Good douche.

A good douche. Good douche. Yeah. That's splashing. Good douche. And good douche. What? Good douche? Yeah. That's splashing. For rowing. Yeah, that'd be more like it. I'll be in a, I'll be in a George Clooney movie. The rowing dudes.

You'd be the guy with the little plastic thing going, help, help. You know, he's not rowing. Oh yeah. Like that guy. That's Sandler. And then rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip. And the guys go, fuck you. I like that. That's Sandler. And the guys go, fuck you. Throw their, well that, that happened to Stanford. They threw their oars in the water. Another story. I'm telling you I'm not that strong because the other day it was embarrassing in

front of some people because I was at a restaurant, did a to go order. And uh, it's, it's hard to say out loud in front of girls that you pulled something in your back because you picked up a Cobb salad wrong. That's not a sexy move. It's not. They go, a Cobb salad? What else was in it?

Firewood? I'm like, no, it did have a couple of hard boiled eggs. Maybe one more than normal, to be honest. Yeah. And I wasn't ready for it. I just wasn't ready for it. That's all. I was a lot younger when I did this special, Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies available wherever you get your specials.

But I had a bit on, I get hurt doing nothing, you know, use the clicker, ow, my shoulder, you know, get up off the couch and I'm like, what happened? I got up off the couch. But it gets better as you get a little older. Don't worry, David. It's easier. We have to address the fires because we talked to them last time when they just started and it's been a full week of chaos, sadness and mayhem. We will delicately try to talk about the fires even though there's nothing funny about them, but we try to poke fun because it is a podcast and find some levity.

Right. But we can talk, we can be real about it. We can be real. I will say I wish I invested in watch duty. I just saw a thing flash up that Trump nominated or appointed three ambassadors to Hollywood because they're in a lot of trouble. So I don't know what that means. That's just what I read.

What happened? I don't know. I used. That's just what I read. What happened? I don't know. I used to sign in people. We need ambassadors. We need people in there. They got a hell of a file. We're going to do the things we can. I don't know what that meant.

I shouldn't even pay attention to things that pop up. I feel like that's just a way to just placate someone and say, you're the ambassador to. We're sending help. Yugoslavia. Yeah. So go over there and just keep shit in line. So what angle would you like to start with first? First, the tragedy of it.

You're not insensitive about that. It's ridiculous and horrible. But there's a lot of ways to think about it as well now. Well, the arson possible, the looting is bad. Uh, there were people, the trick really, one was a scam was people dressed as firemen looting. Really shitty. They should get an extra broken leg from when the guys break their legs, when

they catch him, because I'm fine with that. Uh, there was, uh, Oh, containment. from when the guys break their legs when they catch them because I'm fine with that. There was, oh, containment. I don't know what containment means to be honest. Well, it's 11% and now apparently it's 19%. I don't know how that metric works, but if it goes up, it's better. But it feels like about right. The problem with this is a million mini fires breaking out all the time. Like to get the fire really stomped, fires that big, it's going to take a long time. Or we'd get just a shit ton of rain for a week would be very helpful at this point. Yeah. I don't think we've got any rain this year and I'm sure that's not great.

Oh no, it was a perfect confluence of events that we had two incredibly rainy years, lots of underbrush, lots of growth. And then now we haven't any rain for essentially a year or like eight bits. Everything is very, very, very dry. And then we had probably the biggest Santa Ana, I don't think it's ever gone past 100, the strongest wins. So those three things together. I kept seeing 100 over and over like all day. The next day I'm like, whoa, it's usually just for like a couple hours,

it gets maybe that big because they would flip over big rigs driving out to Arizona. And so I'd seen that before, but I saw more of that. And then really more just about just traveling the embers around. Yeah. With a speed pass. Yeah. It's the flying embers we got to look for.

Embers going sideways. It's like flying. So you can see how fast it spreads because they're just flying, landing and starting a fire. There was one when I left to my Orlando show, there was one Suns, no, it was the one on La Cienega Suns. So there's one probably 300 yards to me. And I was like, wait, this, the Palisades one wasn't that big yet. And then it was this one, which was so close. And then I realized in full disclosure, my, my fire insurance did lapse like everyone else Friday.

So this is three days prior. So I'm like, oh, this is probably the worst time to have my house burned down. And then the next day I was in the warning track. So someone hit me up and goes, watching, watch duty app and you are in the yellow evac zone. So are you getting out? I'm like, I'm not there. And that's not near the palace. Mandatory. Yeah. Here's a mandatory next. I, I, about the insurance part of the whole thing, but there are people I was reading about this morning and that their house is burnt down. It is gone, but they still have to make their mortgage payments.

They still own a bank loan. I thought about this. I was wondering what that would be. And that is so twisted. I mean, there's forbearance. You can get it forgiven for a period of months, but you're still on the hook for that. And if you have home insurance, that's always better. But if you don't have that and then that,

you gotta pay the mortgage. I mean, it's hard to do the math on that. It's just horrible. I do hope, and I sound like I'm getting mad, but I think everyone's got a part of them that's mad. When there's, it just, like we got, they said they're gonna send everyone $770. I never hear the word billions when it's in America.

I don't hear it in North Carolina, I hear 750, Hawaii. But we're in America, is that ring a bell? I mean, I feel like I'm ragging on Biden, but Ukraine, I think, just got another three billion. I'm like, I don't hear billion, I don't even hear a thousand. I hear low money, maybe more to come later, but why? What's wrong with the good old, we're at least as good as Ukraine, at least the USA.

Yeah. This love affair with Ukraine, I don't know. And I will tell you, I don't really know, understand the Ukraine situation. I will say that freely. It's very complicated, but God get a room. I mean, it's every time you turn around, now it's for this, now it's for that. It's really, he's making money moves on the way out and it doesn't seem like it's all helping us. That's all.

Yeah. You have a budget, just say a state budget. It's a vast state. You need lots of things to be funded and firefighting is one of them, fire prevention. So now because of this incredible tragedy, you would think they would allocate more resources to that. In other words, if you want us all to be in electric cars and we're trying to lower the temperature by one degree in the next hundred years is fine. But in the meantime, we have to mitigate. If you believe climate change is the cause, we have to mitigate the disasters that are coming, i.e.

prepare more. And I think that everyone's going to agree on that as far as forest management, parking towers in Northern California that are a hundred years old and just more resources for more anticipatory resources for this, but it's a lot of money. So. Sure. And then if it goes wrong, it's more money, but it's a lot of money. So. Sure. And then if it goes wrong, it's more money.

But yeah, I had heard someone say the CO2 put us back 20 years, just this one monster fire is all the shit that went in here. That's the irony of it. If you don't mitigate the fires, they release the CO2 of millions of cars. And so then you're defeating the whole premise of trying to lower CO2 of millions of cars. And so then you're defeating the whole premise of trying to lower CO2.

But I'll tell you, he's taking a beating as Gavin Newsom. Well, he's the governor and yeah. It's not funny, but God damn. God damn, they're taking some, so many fucking lefts. He's begging for rights. I mean, I heard a funny thing with, and all this craziness that it goes, someone on Instagram goes,

so every time I get a ticket for parking next to a fire hydrant, it's an empty one? Why would they give me a ticket for that? There's no worries there. Oh, the old fire hydrant. A fire hydrant without water is just kind of a funny looking yellow metal structure. You could sit on it or a dog loves it for its own relief purposes. That's it.

Right. Yeah. And all these things we're going to find out in the next few weeks or months. Some things were rumors, some things were true. It's because of this, but there's also a spin. You don't want, I love that Gavin Newsom even has the balls to mention the Olympics. He's like getting plugs in there. He's like, and the Olympics are coming, everyone's excited about it. I'm like, no one cares right now about the Olympics. Yeah.

Oh, what's this one? Let me see. Here, play this. All of that and all that opportunity and that pride and spirit that comes from not just hosting those three iconic games and venues But also the opportunity I think to rebuild at the same time and that's why we're already organizing a Marshall plan We already have a team of looking and reimagining LA 2.0 And we're making sure everyone's included not just the folks on the coast People here that were ravaged by this disaster. You just said you're organizing a Marshall Plan for the rebuilding of California. What is that Marshall Plan? Well, it's about this Marshall Plan.

We're just starting to lay out. I mean, we're still fighting these fires. So we're already talking to the leaders. Is he giggling? What's happening? We're already talking to business leaders. I've never seen a politician talk with his hands that much. We're starting to organize how we can put together a collection of individuals on philanthropy,

the recovery, how we can organize the region, how we can make sure that we are seeking federal assistance for the Olympics more broadly, but also federal assistance for the recovery efforts and how we can galvanize the community with folks that love this board. It's too bold. It's too bold. We can turn the sound off, we know what he's doing. We're dealing with the death of Lou. It's doing both.

We can turn the sound off. We know what he's doing. We're dealing with the scope of this tragedy and responding to it at scale. This is tragedy. Like the executive order I talked about. Rock Taper says you. Delivering us-

I can't hear what he's saying. I'm too fucking, I think he just kept staring at his hands. And moving forward to rebuilding- Fucking shit, give his hands a rest. That sounded like AI at the beginning, because he's like, well, we get a chance now to reimagine LA. What the fuck? I think he gets a dopamine hit when he hears himself speak,

which is good for a politician. It's just gonna take a while. I think what's going on is people are excited about the track and field coming up. There's gonna be new things happening. We're going to put apartments up. Like, what are we talking about? Everyone should just be crying right now.

Yeah, it's going to take a long time. I know Malibu, I talked to someone who lives in Malibu and you just, the PCH is closed. They all have to go up Canaan, go around to Hollywood or whenever you want to. And the devastation, it's like 250 homes in a row. That's maybe not talked about as much, but Malibu is not going to be the same for a long time and they don't think the Palisades it's going to take years. And just to get those homes removed, all the debris and gas lines. And I mean, it's so depressing, but it's going to take a lot of money.

Yeah. They were saying that, you know, we don't probably have a picture, but one or two places has one house sticking up and then every house burned out. So if you're that house, someone told me yesterday that, you know, there's, you can't go back, first of all, it's like a ghost. It's so weird. And then you also have all the utilities don't work. So you go there and then you've got all the embers and the smoldering and just the air

aside from gas leak, whatever's out there. So that's why they can't move in right away. Just soaking into their house. I think anyone in those tragedies losing their house and obviously people lost their life and going back into the palisades just with a police escort, they have to have just trauma, you know, PTSD. Because the U-turn of that, because the Palisades was kind of the prettiest suburb in Southern California, I'd say. It's beautiful. And now it's- For people, it's between Hollywood and the beach. So a lot of beautiful area because you go, you cross the 405s, now you're heading to the beach. So a lot of beautiful area because you go, you cross the 405, so now you're heading to the beach.

You go way down on some, on sunset, yeah. Yeah. Adams and the Palisades, Conan's in the Palisades. Beautiful, there's a big grove-like village of beautiful shops, right, they built in the last couple of years, I think that's still standing. And then a couple of those burned out. It's just, you know, get to the beach. Yeah. Yeah. You can look at the beach, you get a house there and the palisades overlooking the ocean, but

there's a lot of trees around you. And it was just a very clean, beautiful place. Why a lot of very wealthy people move there. Why not? You know, so it's, uh My old one in Malibu burned to a crisp. And the thing is, when I got it, it was because a woman lived there and the last wave of fires years ago, burned it down. She built it back up. I got it. Did you buy it with someone or by yourself? I can't remember. I bought it with someone, but everybody used it. That's right. I remember being there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was nice. Yeah. It's nice house, burned to crisp. And then I know the realtor who handles it right now. And he's like, no, he's showed me a video of it. It's toast. So who cares for me, but the people that bought it. And then also every, I lived on La Costa beach.

I think every house but four is gone. So that was probably at least 20. Yeah. Carbon beach. Just that's where Farrah Fawcett lived. That's where all these people live. Charlize lived there for a while. So boohoo, but it's still, listen, there's the other fire, which we don't, we haven't talked about the Eaton fire, which is up by Pas other fire, which we haven't talked about, the Eaton fire,

which is up by Pasadena, which is really inland and really rough. I think just as big or about the same. Yeah. Maybe more houses. I don't know. But yeah, massive amounts of destruction. And before we move on, I will,

we don't want to bum everyone out, but I did offer a reward for people if they're, because you know, you want to do something. Well, I didn't see that pop up. Yeah. What was your thing? Okay. Oh, there it is. So I get, for anyone who catches arses during the LA fire, so, and they have to be, I kind of just said it one day, but they have to be, you know, arrested. So I, but it was an overwhelming response of people just give me clues and bits and

just filming fires. And so it was hard to go through because I have on Tik TOK or Instagram, you know, that's the way to get me in. We have it down to about one looks pretty good. I'm going to take care of three other ones looking pretty good. We're sifting through all the hundreds of dollars. Well, do you have a private detective? I mean, it is sort of like you either catch them in the act or you have cameras. There's cameras all over everywhere. Are you looking for that kind of? It's tricky. I think we go by a police report. I think there's no way because there's so many people going.

I mean, I pulled into, because Busboys is starting, we had to push it, obviously, we shoot it in LA. And so I was going to this wig store and they have a security guard blocking the parking lot for some reason. And I'm like, roll my window down. You know, they don't want you to park anywhere in LA. So I go, hey, I'm just getting some goofy wig for this stupid thing. And he goes, give me that 5,000 bucks. I go, oh yeah, okay. I go, give it to you right now? I pay you upfront.

And he goes, I'll keep my eyes peeled. Oh, he wants it ahead of time? It's okay, but we're gonna cut it off tomorrow because when this airs, because we already have hundreds and they're starting to have a handle on the fire. Now, if something crazy comes up, I'll readdress it, but we can't even keep up with it right now. So, we're going by police reports because that's really feels like the only way someone won't say, hey, go like that, I'll film you. And that's what's happening. And then we'll just say,

oh, I caught him. And then, but LA never really- Oh, and then get the money. Oh, I see. Yeah. And then spend one night in county Oh, I caught him. And then, but LA never really- Oh, and they get the money. Oh, I see. Yeah. And they spend one night in county jail and then old jail. Yeah. You got it. Right. That's why you don't say 10 or 20, because- Right. Then people go, Oh, it's worth going to jail for the night. So anyway, it's very complicated,

but we're sifting through it. We want it. It was meant to be more help. Yeah. And- Everything is as complicated in today's digital copy. I heard rumor read. Yeah. So, all right. Do you want to move on to politics? Yeah. God bless everyone. Yeah. What's going on coming up? Coming up next week. Okay. So you got to follow tag bet MGM across all your socials.

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Nutritionally complete meals in minutes so you can focus on what really matters. Well, one thing that was bizarre was, well, there's a game of thrones going on. Yes. A throne of politicians who don't like each other. The first thing I saw, and it was kind of, I liked it. I liked that Obama and Trump seemed to be friendly. It really made me laugh. That was at Jimmy Carter's funeral. Yes. And there's been a lot of talk of what they talked about, but they they're still talking. Hot ticket. Look, look, I just got to ask. I'm going to only ask you once. It's a phone call. I intercepted it. I'm only going to ask you once.

I'm going to ask you once. Why is Michelle not coming to the inauguration? I know she skipped the funeral, but why not? What's the problem? She should come and people are talking about it. Doesn't want to come. That's all. I wouldn't take it personal. Just, you don't want to come. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. We're going to party the night away. Okay. I love you, man. I love you very much. I can't believe how much I love you. But they're friends. Yeah, they talked at the funeral. Jill Biden hates Nancy Pelosi. Nancy Pelosi always sounds like she just got out of an ice bath. Sorry. I used to do that in my act that she always looks like she just sat on something cold

and wet. Yeah. You did good, Joey. Never looks like she's having a great time. Oh yeah, Jill's going to be there. You did good, Joe. Just high fives all around for her because he gave his speech the other night wrapping up the year, Biden. Yes he did. And they talked about how we did the greatest things ever happened in the history of the country. The funny thing was, and we don't know right now

that Gaza and I don't know what's going to hold the Israel and Gaza and Hamas. Oh, yeah. Parked a deal. And then Trump had said a couple of months ago, there better be a deal. I want the hostages out or there's going to be hell to pay. All hell is going to be hell to pay. All hell is going to break out. So either it's a coincidence that they're going to, maybe it's, it's,

it's a touchy, but maybe close the deal Sunday night right before Trump becomes the president Monday at noon. Uh, but Biden said, they said, do you think, uh, president Trump had anything to do with the peace deal? And he just turned around, you know, he walks away and then he turned back and he goes, is that a joke? And then he walked out. Is that a joke? I like when he slowly turns around. He does.

He walks away. I can't even see he walks away. And he says, is that anyway? And he stops and the staff is, he turns back. Slow turn. Is that a joke? So. Because he has to hit the cue card.

That's why. And Hunter's holding the cue cards. And Hunter's like this. Come on. I'm being serious here. So they don't like each other. No, who else? Melania hates the Obamas because she said, when we came last time to the White House,

this is my Melania impression. Yeah, go ahead. We came to the White House in 2016. We didn't know what to do. They didn't leave us any instructions where to put clothes, anything like this. This time we know everything. So This time we know everything. So at least Joe and Jill are being very cordial to Trump this time. Even though he's a fascist, mega Republican, threat to democracy, dictator. And then he gets to the White House. Okay, here's where you get your breakfast. Remember last time? There's a cheesecake factory about a block that way. Jill and I made your bed extra extra special. We got you some new pillowcases.

So anything could happen in politics. What about, it looked like Kamala didn't get along with who? Maybe Jill? She's just a little upset. Kamala, sorry. Kamala don't like Joe and Jill right now. Because she's a little, because Joe's been going, I would have won. I would have been, I would have been troubling. I beat him before. I would have beat him again.

And so it's sort of, sort of as a little negative for a Kamala, who only had a hundred days and went all out and she loses. And then she's got this guy going, this is a man. I would have won. And you can't disprove him. So he's always going to have that rights. He'll just shake hands forever at any event. I want to win, you know, insult the injury. I would have won. I know how to win. I know how to win. I win every time. So that's dinging her and Doug M. Loff apparently wants to beat up Joe Biden and she talked him out of it. Joe Biden and she talked him out of it. There's a luncheon, an inaugural luncheon, but no one's going to that. Trump was upset about that. We're bringing in Mickey D's, Mickey

D's, we're bringing them like I can't believe you're going to get Mickey D's, fresh Mickey D's, but they're not coming. Maybe Obama will come. I like it. Big Mac meal deal, yeah. I'll see you there. I like that. I like, by the way, but those things are like going to your girlfriend's wedding, like your ex-girlfriend.

Oh yeah. Did they all want to sit and get rubbed in their face? Like you're out, I'm the great guy. I get it, I would, I just tap out. The only other funny thing that you might have noticed, I just find it interesting. Mark Zuckerberg now has little, it's like he had the robot hair, the AI hair. He's like Justin Timberlake. He had a little weird. Now he's got,

now he's like 44 and he wants to be kind of 22 for awhile. So he's got the t-shirt to chain a little curly hair. And then he's, he loves Trump and Elon and he's going to throw a party. He's given donations. I mean, and now he's not having a fact checkers, just, just someone changing. Interesting. Yeah. I saw on that interview on Facebook, Joe Rogan, where he said, you know, at the beginning, I do kind of feel from this, it was up to him. They say,

you're the boss. So is this true or false, right or wrong? And he's like, I really don't want that job. That's, that's a big job. But then he said, okay, we're going to start. He said, being in COVID, I said, you know, okay, this is good for the con. You know, so he sort of got himself into a pickle as my mom would say. So whatever I, I think it gets into the big mystery is, your opinion, why is TikTok shutting down?

Does it help these guys? Or is there something coming up in my head where they don't want boots on the ground filming everything because TikTok is good for really getting in there and finding out news? I know. Well, the rumor is, I don't know if it's in the newspapers. I love referring to that,

that Elon Musk could buy TikTok for 50 billion. He's now worth 500 billion, at least as the last I checked. So then Elon Musk would have X and TikTok. Talk. TikTok. And a rocket ship. This guy's gonna get some pussy. The coolest rocket ships. Yeah. And a rocket ship. This guy's going to get some pussy. And the coolest rocket ships.

Yeah. The coolest electric cars. He's boring under Las Vegas with tunnels. The guy's busy, you know, but he needs more stuff. By the way, how many tunnels are there? I keep reading about tunnels and there's tunnels in the Palisades, there's tunnels in Puff Daddy. I go, I don't have a tunnel pass. I do nothing about tunnels

and I really feel like I'm on the outs well you got to watch the great and drive a thousand miles an hour across country and a tunnel that's cannot be true well that's the notion of it if it has no friction and it's just a complete vacuum tube that you can go a thousand miles an hour the thing about working on tunnels you bore into a location and then all the work is underground. But you should watch the movie Great Escape with Steve McQueen in 1964 if you want to know about tunnels, because these were guys digging out of a Nazi concentration camp based on a true story. See that movie if you haven't seen it.

Didn't they spin that off into Hogan's Heroes, the funny version of that? Can you believe in our childhood they had a sitcom based on allies in a Nazi concentration camp and it was hilarious. It's funny as a kid I was like this, Richard Dawson and everyone. Yeah. And MASH was about the Korean War like Jesus, it's all jokey. I know. So.

MASH was more serious at times, but goddamn Hogan's Heroes was beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Well, they had Colonel Klink was the German, he was running it. Hogan, Hogan. Hogan. Is he a Nazi? Well, he was German soldier. I don't know if that was a different, you know.

Gray area, yeah. Hogan, what are you up to? Hogan, he had a monocle. Then you had Colonel Schultz. Schultz was the best. Schultz would say, uns I know nothing, I know nothing. I see nothing. God, that guy was a star.

He was trying to escape the whole time. That guy was awesome. They got a whole... Hogan, you better not try to escape. No, come on, man. It's all good. You're not trying to escape, are you, Hogan? Of course not.

I think Bob Crane sadly passed away. I think in Scottsdale where I'm from. Yes, and he had some very interesting personal habits. Look it up. Friends, yeah. Oh yeah. Was there a movie about that with Kinnear? Kind of sounds like Kinnear made a movie about that, but I couldn't swear by that.

I think Bob Crane maybe dabbled in porn or something. I like just throwing it out there. I don't know. I don't know. But basically- Let's go to some headlines. Let's go to some headlines. Or do you have more to say?

Wrap it up. No, not at all. That's the political situation. Enjoy the inauguration. It rhymed. Oh, not at all. That's the political situation. Enjoy the inauguration. It rhymed. Oh, your boy here, Trump said it might be, he might consider circumventing TikTok.

It'll be a day late, a dollar short. So what is he saying? He'll leave it open or what's? He might say, because the part people aren't talking about, like it's goofy, it's for kids, blah, blah, but people definitely make money on it. There's definitely people that are like, that's their gig job. Oh, and it's huge. It's a huge, and I mean, it's huge. It's not about dancing anymore. It's about this and that and people reporting things. So it is, it is,

I think it's important. I have it. I think it's interesting and fun and it's another toy. Isn't the idea that then China can harvest your personal information and use it. I think it's interesting and fun and it's another toy. Isn't the idea that then China can harvest your personal information and use it for nefarious? Well, they already have it. I mean, I think they have it from there. They have it from everything else. Also, they have a new one. God damn, where's Heather? I know the new name. But everyone's joining it. And when you join it, all the things you have to click on and accept are in Mandarin. So you don't even know what you're, everyone's just joining it going. And it's a new Chinese app, but it's not Tik Tok. And it's purely it's Chinese is Tik Tok.

So like, let's just get on that one. And it's called Tiki Tiki Tok Tok. It's called Totally China. It's called, I mean, it's really like, I don't know. It's such an easy one. Everyone knows. Can't we get Facebook, get our stuff over in there? Can't we get Netflix all over China?

Can we get our, is Twitter is X in China? I don't even know that. I always wonder like, can we start a business? Could we start a podcast in China? Can we start a store? But they can do podcast in China? Can we start a store? But they can do stuff here. Like, I don't know how it works. What are we not, can they buy land here?

We can't buy land there. It should be the rules same back and forth. Either we all can't or we all can't. I don't like this. That's what gets me a little nervous. Yeah. They seem like great guys. I mean, I don't know.

It's when they have like an encampment of a thousand young soldiers right outside the Pentagon. Just, oh, we bought the land. How you doing? No, no, we're just chilling. This is fraternity. Okay. Next story. Next story. Keep them going. While I sip my drink. Oh, ASU. I'm from ASU. I went to ASU. It's not that long. What is the story? Under investigation for using AI? The sorority is under investigation after all of its members received 4.0 GPAs.

Despite spending most of their time attending parties instead of class, one sister recorded all of their lectures using TurboLearn AI. It's generated notes, flashcards, quizzes, allowing the sorority to streamline. To seem smart. Studying into just hours. Stop it. It's funny. I thought they were saying they look so pretty.

Of course. They look like AI. Of course. AI is taking over schools. Of course. Everything. I mean, a year ago. What are you thinking?

They told us that we could have AI impersonate our voices and read ads. Um, and that was a year ago. Now the digital copies, the AI. Like, did we do it or we, do we do it? Uh, we still do it right. Let's check it out and see if you can tell if it's the real thing. Here's the AI.

Hey Dana, do you, Do you use Hewl? Here's Dana AI. We're going to do a lot of things. We're going to do. That's AI doing you doing Trump. Me doing Trump doing. All talk. Here's, here's, here's my AI. Dana, my hair is looks good today or bad.

I picked up a cup salad. I know somebody who uses AI for their job and does such a good job. AI writes all this stuff, does all the reports, does all this stuff that his people, his bosses, say to him, this stuff is great. Too bad AI can't do this. Ha ha ha ha. Yep. You know what?

You can't write this stuff. I guess you could. Well. Okay. Just one last thought, future tripping. Yeah. Within a couple years, you'll be able to just talk to the computer and make a movie.

You'll prompt it. You'll say, Joe Dirt 3, and you'll give it the right prompts. And within an instant, you'll have a Joe Dirt 3, 4K digital film looking exactly like humans. That's coming soon. Can they do Busboys 1?

Don't fall asleep on that information. No, because I'm starting Busboys tomorrow and I'm like, oh my God, it's so hard already. I'm like, I forgot how hard movies are. Movies are incredibly hard. It's exciting in the beginning and then the day you wrap, when you can walk away and then it can be, who's going to edit the thing?

It can be really torturous if you have a bad first screening and then you got to get in there and fix it. But I think it's going to be a great movie just because of you and Theo. I don't know if we're from the world of screenings. I mean, Theo's obviously hysterical and we laugh so hard and we're writing stuff and we think we're so funny. Oh, it's obviously hysterical and we laugh so hard and we're writing stuff and we think we're so funny. Oh, it's so embarrassing.

But you know, it's out there and we got some fun people and it'll be all right. I mean, the key to all that stuff with digital cameras, which you didn't even have for Tommy Boy is just to keep it loose. You know, get the material, but don't over cover you guys. Don't move quickly, shoot the rehearsal, let you improvise, you know, stuff like that. Get some two shots loose that are just not like. Yeah, don't torture yourself with three different stops,

three different closeups, which one's the money shot, you know, I mean, get it, but don't torture the actors and wear them out and make them unfunny. That's the hard part. That's the part we like to do, torture. Yeah, sometimes you're on movies, you're like, it's hard. It doesn't have to be this hard. Like they're overdoing everything.

And then you see the movie and you go, they didn't use 90% of the budget. Well, low budget, like sometimes money is the enemy of comedy. That's what I say. So the fact, if it's a modest budget and you only have that many days, it does kind of make it just move quicker. And a lot of times you get funnier stuff that way. It's true. Keeps the energy up too.

Yeah. All right. Well, quickly before we change stories, Heather, what's that new TikTok called on from China? Red bot red box. That's it. Red note, sorry. Red note.

Whoa. I was like, that's it? Red note, sorry. Red note, whoa. I was like, that didn't sound like it. Red note because communist China, red is their color. Is red, I don't know. That's a good question. Or their flag is red. That's a really good question. Yeah, so really.

Yeah. So their flag is red note. It's called red note. Oh, Heather already has it. Next to her. I'm not on it, I'm not on it. She's not on it, but she pulled it down. You have to sign it.

It's all in management and you have to sign it. Yeah, we just talked about it. That's crazy. You would like what I said about it. Okay, so next story then. Okay. Dana, get ready for Las Vegas style action at Bet MGM, the king of online casinos. Enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous

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Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. Gambling problem? For free assistance, call the Connects Ontario Helpline at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Okay, oh this is so this is the first funny thing I saw about the fire. This is obviously in jest because we're trying to find humor. Okay. Here we go.

Coming back home to everything you didn't bring when you evacuated the fire. Yeah. He didn't bring anything. Play it again. It's funny. So it's a guy coming into his apartment and all the stuff he didn't bring when he evacuated, he's saying hello to everything.

Yeah, he's saying hi to his closet, all the clothes he didn't bring. Hey. He's embarrassed. Hey. He's saying hi to the family photos he didn't give him. How you doing? That's funny.

How y'all doing? That's funny, right? That was quick. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, ba-da-boom, boom, boom, boom. That's the way we like them. Okay, next one, let's funny. How y'all doing? That's funny, right? That was quick. Boom, boom, boom. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. That's the way we like them. Okay, next one.

Let's see. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. How we doing, Dana? We're doing good here. Here we go. Oh, this is just an old rehearsal I never saw. No, no, no, no.

Okay, here we are. This is bye-bye. I see Sandler. I see you. And you guys are rehearsing. I have a chain. That's my fucking Beavis and Butt-Head necklace that Mike Judge gave me. Oh my God.

Yeah, this is a way... I swear to God, I gave that. We went to the Kate Moss birthday party. We got invited somehow back then. She wanted that necklace for her birthday and I gave it to her. I didn't even know her. She goes, oh my God, that's so cute. Give me that. Can I have that? And I go, uh-huh, huh. She goes, it for her birthday and I gave it to her. I didn't even know her. She goes, oh my God, that's so cute. Give me that.

Can I have that? And I go, uh huh. She goes, it's my birthday. And I go, well, I don't think they make these. I got it from Mike. She's like, okay, so just give it to me. Smoke in my face. I was like, of course I gave it to her.

But look at that. I was kind of ripped. I was going to prescriptive fitness. You're fit, man. You and Sandler look awesome. Look at me, I'm already staring at cue cards. This is rehearsal, of course. There's Helen Hunt on the right.

Oh, Helen Hunt. Oh, she's awesome. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, there's more. I'm gonna pound your face in. Bye bye. Okay. Oh my God, I'm gonna destroy you.

Yeah, bye bye. I'm gonna kick your little crap face. Bye bye. Bye bye. Wow. Isn't that funny? No one had that. No one yelled at Sandler like that. Fucking funny.

Sandler got a laugh out of that, which wasn't like a huge laugh, but he got a big laugh out of it. And Farley when he walks in, does all this shit. Is there more? Oh, let me see this. Oh, there's Farley. They're still laughing at me, but I see this. Oh, there's Farley. They're still laughing at me, but I get paid. How do you have a life though? I mean, you guys pay me.

Well, you know what this is from? It must have been when Cindy Crawford for MTV House of Style, they're doing some special on SNL. They took us to dinner. I've seen that video. It's funny. And then I guess they were filming some B roll rehearsal. Wow. Uh, you just see Chris, you were probably just off camera somewhere. Were you in buh-bye or not? Um, no, I mean, I guest hosted when you guys were on,

it took over the show, but I don't think we did. Kellen hunt. Were you gone? Um, took over the show, but I don't think we did bye bye. Kellen Hunt, were you gone? Yeah, I think so. What year was that? What year was that? I left in 93, was that like 94 or something? God, yeah, probably right on then, because I probably would be scared to put you in it,

because it was only like one or two lines. Hey man, I just did SNL. I had 18 words on the final trailer. That's right, when you were in Marcelo's bit. I went in doing like a funny, crazy sketch that Marcelo does of this show, telemoondog type show. The Spanish talk show or something.

Spanish talk show. I came out as some sort of freak and then just went away. I don't think the audience knew. You looked hilarious. People were like, no, it was a great look. We were like, what? I know.

That was the night of a thousand stars though. They had a million guests that week. We had like nine movie stars basically in the cold open. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. I thought it was funny as shit when you did it. Okay. Next one. It was shit when you did it. Okay. Uh, next one. What's fun?

What are we? We're grinding. Okay. I grind. Oh, oh, they're pulling something out of a supermarket. Let's see what it is. Oh, this is bar stool. This isn't about chicken fry. Oh yeah, don't look, Heather. What do you think it is, Heather? Usually be like a rat? Oh, do you say? In a grocery store? I would guess a rat. A rodent. Oh, something big.

That's a long tail for a cat. Whoa, a giant. What is it? Oh, a coyote? A coyote got in with. Whoa, in Chicago? Wow. Why is there? Oh, a coyote. A coyote got in. Whoa. In Chicago? Wow. Why is there a horn at the end? Wow, like a celebratory.

So what we just saw for you drivers. Oh, Wile E. Coyote. They're looking in this produce section, a big grocery store prodding with something, thinking what's in there. I guess a rat or a rodent, but a coyote. Like in the cheese they're digging in there. Yeah. A pretty average size coyote, not a, not a baby came out of the produce. So somehow it got in there at night and burrowed up in all that food, eating the cheese and stuff.

He came out and they, they put it, they asked him right after and he goes, I'm so fucking lost. Well, they cut. He's supposed to be in the desert. They cut the part though. He comes out again and he just goes and sprints away. Oh yeah. Meep meep. You know that would be the better. I didn't have the sound effects. Heather said the horn was in there because of that. I didn't put that together. So that was sort of

like Wile E. Coyote. It wasn't. Oh someone wrote Wile E. Coyote. Yeah wasn't, Oh, someone wrote Wiley Coyote. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, yours, yours is better. And mine was like, yours sounded like it. It was higher. Mine was like, no, you know, when I go back to Arizona, I see it road runner almost every time if I golf for sure.

They run around a golf course. It's fun to see road runnersners if you don't see them. They're cool as shit actually. We have them. We have coyotes up here and in the valley. Sometimes they'll just, they'll just howl. They'll howl. And then you can hear them kind of really going really high pitch and they're

doing a coordinated attack on like a chicken or a goat. Fucking javelina. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Oh, I can do better. That's what they say. Okay, next one. This is how much I love you. I love you. I fear that this, I don't know what this is. Go ahead. I have a confession to make while I'm literally not sober. So, this man literally started farming carrots so he could have the carrots get put up my ass. Bro, he farmed carrots so that I could stick them up my ass. He said, your carrots, you're gonna put them up your ass. Listen, this is like a Hallmark movie. This is like a Hallmark movie. This is like, that's like

the nicest thing anybody's ever done. Okay. She's acting at that point. Flowers, get Amanda grows carrots. But even if you're acting like you want everyone to believe you and you see it and then you see she's pretty good Cause she said she was drunk, but. What about pesticides? That was one of the comments. It can't be good for you. If it's outrageous, it's contagious. And so. Oh yeah, they're organic.

I'm going to do a shut up, shut up you guys. All right. Let's go out there. I'm going to do. What's the weirdest thing I can say. A super drunk girl that carrots and a guy giving to me. All right. We're going to trend so hard. Ever since Hawk Tooey, I can't? Super drunk girl, carrots, and a guy giving to me, all right, we're gonna trend so hard.

Ever since Hawk Tooie, I can't trust a carrot up your ass video. It's sad, really. Well, I'm just seeing on my phone. She already has a deal on OnlyFans. Warner Brothers? Yeah. Oh yeah.

She has one million followers. Oh, this is kind of amusing. I saw this. Woman scammed out of 800 grand after believing she was dating Brad Pitt. That cannot be the real woman, I hope. Look at how cute Brad Pitt is. I might fall for this. So what is the story?

Oh, somebody DM'd her, said he was- Oh, and then he did AI generated Brad Pitt in images. So she thought she was having a... That doesn't look like great AI. We're showing photos of like fourth grade Photoshop, like Brad Pitt's head on a... They're always in the hospital. I know. Why is he in the hospital?

Oh, he probably says he can't FaceTime with it or visit her because he's in the hospital and he needs money for... Okay, he says accounts were frozen due to divorce and he needed money for, okay. Now that's he needs a low IQ individual to think that Brad Pitt could be broke. Well, listen, I have had the situation. She realized it was fake. Oh, when she, oh, they couldn't stop her from finding him. Oh, the new girlfriend. Oh, this girl must've been flo been Florida Brad dumped her for this girl.

A French woman, Anne, was scammed out of 800. You know, I've had people say, there's something like David Spade, but spelled differently, or David Spade 8-6-4-1, or the real David Spade. Anyway, so people say, hey, am I texting with you? Am I talking to you? I see these random DMs I don't look at

except once a month, and I'm like, what is going on to you? I see these random DMs that I don't look at except once a month and I'm like, what is going on? She's like, I sent you $600 and I sent you another 500, but am I still picking up from the airport? And I'm like, sometimes I just go, no, I just write back, there's no, but I don't wanna answer anyway,

it just starts a new crazy thing. So people are doing something like, so one time I did an Instagram, I go, guys, if I, if I need money, I'm going to family first. I'm not going to you guys. So just don't send me money. No matter what I text you. If you want to just commit fraud online every day and you'd have no morals. I mean, you could do a lot of damage, especially seniors. They go after older people and tell them your puppy's lost or whatever, and they manipulate money out of them.

You're going to save your nephew. He needs help. He's in jail. You know? Yeah. There's a million of those. And you honestly, I don't know. I wouldn't know half of them. I'd probably get scammed. Some are really good. That one was not that good. Well, I just scam back. If they cold call me and ask for money, I just do the grumpy old man from a, I don't know nothing about no money. They hear that and they just hang up. They go, this guy's too much of a headache. I did it to you once. What's up, bud? I don't know nothing about no money. I thought I sent you money. I don't know nothing about no money. I thought I sent you money.

Yeah. Okay, next one. Let's see. Let's see. How about, oh, this is old because Golden Globes, but I was shocked at this. I have, I've gotten a few gift bags. Yeah. And the last one I got was in the Emmys or something.

They're like, this one might be worth $60,000. They said the Golden Globes gift bag was worth $1 million. I'm being suspicious on that. Who has that kind of money? Most of it you wouldn't use. That's, it's like, you can go to Aruba on these non-blackout days. But a $40,000 facelift in a Golden Globes gift bag?

I mean, come on. Yeah. I mean, it's good business. You're definitely getting a pretty famous person to come to your job and use your products. A 40K facelift. I heard that Nicole Kidman took two bags at night, but good night, ladies and gentlemen. I'm sorry. She looks beautiful. Baby girl. Yeah, that's all right. I saw it.

A $60,000 yacht trip. I hate to sound cynical, like a crazy person, but that does not seem like that much, is it? For a yacht? Unless it's like a three hour tour with a hundred people on it. But you know what? The theme of this podcast,

you can't believe your own eyes online or any story. You don't want to be cynical, but it all seems- Don't believe us, don't believe any. We're real, don't believe you're real. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's getting to be weirder. Okay, let's do one more.

Yeah, let's get a banger for the end. No pressure. Where do I have to go banger for the end. No pressure. Where do I have to go? I don't have to go anywhere. Okay, this one is- A guy dressed like he's from- This just fell on my head. I discovered I was hungry.

Oh, I hope this isn't a date. Isaac Newton. Oh, this is, I guess, famous people in history's if they could take selfies. Okay, that's funny. Eve? Eve? I don't know who that is. Who is that?

Who they are? Angus Kahn? That's Bobby Lee. Okay. Bobby Lee. Two, oh, Trojan Horse. Noah's Ark. Noah. I'm getting these. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Trojan horse. Noah's Ark.

Noah. Noah. Noah. I'm getting these. Lincoln. Lincoln. Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis.

Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis. Okay. So someone had some fun with AI. And- That's kind of a, I like that. It's a clever angle and it is interesting to,

cause you hear these mythical names and they're just dudes or women just hanging out. They're just idiots. You never really know what they really did. They're so hyped up. It gets hyped up. It's hype. We just said it same time. Do we? Jinks. Pinky. What a finger. Hey buddy, what are you thinking? Wasn't there some jinx thing? Put your hand in there. Like that. That's a dirty one if you do that. No. Yeah, don't do that.

No. Pinky, finger finger. What are you doing? I don't know. By the way, we should plug that on Flying the Wall, we have Joel McHale this week and next week we got Dennis Miller on Wednesday. That was in a very special episode. That's Dennis coming back for his second appearance.

We don't our first repeat our first full full Monte repeat. So you don't want to repeat some of the favorites coming up because people, some of those episodes do so well that we have to bring it back. But we just riff with Dennis. It was like impossible to keep up with him. with Dennis, it was like impossible to keep up with him. It was for me. It's just fun to laugh. Yeah. Yeah. His references and his articulation of those references, but it was funny watching you and him go back and forth with the same kind of frequency of- Yeah. I mean, we do have similar, he's one of the guys I used to like, I always thought Kevin Neal and we had a similar vibe. There's a lot of people. Yeah. I mean, you referenced Lonnie Anderson at one, I try to join in with Paul Harvey, but you beat me too at Lonnie Anderson as people, human beings who have only one nipple. And then you, you dropped that really fast. And so Dennis loves a good reference.

So he laughed really hard at that. So that's a little cheeser of that one. I love, yeah. You have to stick around a little bit for that one. And Joe McHale was incredible too. He's got some great stories about Chevy Chase and others. Yes, we had a great chat. So if you can ever figure out how to go over to Flawless, and also Dana and I are going to be in where? Where are we going to be performing? Fantasy Springs Casino. Is that in Palm Springs? Palm Springs or Indio.

Yeah. And then there's another one. Isn't that a private date in Indianapolis? Oh, Palm Desert, Palm Springs, that's right. I think Indianapolis might be a corporate. That might be private. Well, they want each of us potentially to do 50 minutes each. I've never heard of a thing.

They're just at 30 to 40. So we're gonna have to flip a coin. I think I'd like to go first in that case. I will tell the world that Dana is one of the top five people to not wanna follow on the planet, but I will do it because it's fair and we'll do whatever. It's gonna be fun either way. Well, all you do when you follow anybody,

and I've done it, that just crushes, it's not going to happen if it's me, but if they crush, then you're just self-deprecating for about two minutes and then they forget and you go on. But yeah, fantasy springs. See us there because we're going to take questions from the audience and do some kickass stand up. Tickets are going fast. Tickets are going fast. Hey, tickets are going and yeah, thanks for watching

and listening and we will see you in a week. I'll have a lot of reports about B-boys and anything else going on. All right, thanks Dan. Peace and love, my brothers. Say something cringy so they'll get mad. Peace and love. Oh, look at those balloons that came up.

That's cool. Peace and love. Look at those balloons that came up. That's cool. Peace and love. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.