Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #53 - Communicating with Animals

Episode Date: January 31, 2025

Bus Boys, celebrity's "teams", DeepSeek, Martha Stewart, dogs, snakes, and more with the guys. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I went down the memory lane on an Airbnb I occupied once and it was, I'll just say it, awesome. It's clean, it was tidy, it was beautiful, it was private, great big kitchen, right next to a forest. What's not to like? David? You checked that box saying I'd like to be near a forest. That's a good thing.

A lot of people like Airbnb because you can do that. You can say, hey, I want a place with a pickleball court, you know, and they can find you on. You can be in town, you can be in the suburbs, you can be in the country. I mean, you can have a pool, you can not have a pool. I mean, the benefits of Airbnb are just the flexibility of it and the locations and privacy,

compared to hotels. Listen, hotels are fine and that's great, but sometimes I think if you get into an Airbnb and you see the convenience and all the things, you don't have to walk by people in the hallway and nod, get on the elevator and talk about the weather. So you realize that it might really be more tailored for you and it turns into the perfect accommodation.

Whether you're with family, friends, whatever, you're on your own. Consider Airbnb for your next adventure. I don't think you'll regret the switch. Calling all sellers. Salesforce is hiring account executives to join us on the cutting edge of technology. Here, innovation isn't a buzzword, it's a way of life.

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I'm fluffed and folded. I've been preening for 11 hours. And I got my light. I just got off of Busboys and came here and look at that greasy hair. Busboys, David Spade and Theo Vaughn are the Busboys. Are the Busboys. We did put a picture on Instagram today for the first time, but it's not our outfits.

But this UFC fighter Nate Diaz was the first person we said cast. And he plays one of the kind of bad guys. And he's just a bad, badass fighter. I'll see anything with Nate with Nate Diaz, anything. Cause those Nate Diaz brothers, man. Oh, you know him. Yeah. I know all about him. I watch it all the time with my son.

He's just like a little wiry dude. He'll beat up anyone and he doesn't care at all. That's the way I want to live my life like him. Yeah. He's a bad-ass. He did kind of reverse chokehold. They, they, last year it was outside a club and he got, life like him. Yeah, he's a badass. He did kind of reverse chokehold. They, last year it was outside a club and the guy bent down and he choked him out.

So yeah, street fighter man, just takes punishment. He's got a guy with him and then one of the guys, I think if he accidentally gets in a fight, the guy just films it like, hey, why not? Oh yeah, that's what, like. You know, you're scrappy. If I'm out with you somewhere and you get in a fist fight, that camera is coming out and I'm plus pressing record and I'm pressing send you've been warned. Cause and I'm present post and I'm pressing pose and I'm counting post in it.

Yeah. Yeah. And I, and I'm PMing Nate Diaz about it. Say, guess what? There's a new sheriff in town. Diaz. He says today, he's exactly what you think. He's kind of looked at, he's got his arms like this. We have him playing one of the bad guys.

Anyway, he's like beating up a guy in the scene and we come on, Theo and I talk to him and then we're walking over to watch playback. And he goes, and Theo goes, man, don't get too many more fights. Don't want to end up in a wheelchair. He goes, yeah, I don't want to end up in a wheelchair. I got to quit before I get all goofy looking.

I go, oh, you don't think you're goofy looking now? Spade goes right for the jugular. You think I'm scared, I'm not scared of anyone. That's either brave or naive. I'm going to say it's Ben Eave. It's both. I think when you're a comedian and he's a cool dude and he likes comedy and he was,

he was for a guy like that to be excited to be on the set, be excited to be in it. And we DM a little bit about it. I think it's, it's fun. You have to kind of do some jokes and jabs because that's sort of what they want. Yeah. When you're out, when you're out, people want you to be.

Regular humans, which we were until we fought through stage fright. For me, it was like a decade, but especially I would have a panic attack perennially all day. So when they see anybody walking out on stage, doing standup, acting all calm and confident and joking around, what's up? It's like, because I don't want to go in the cage. Yeah. With, you know, I don't know who's the bad man. Conor McGregor. Conor McGregor.

The greatest promoter, I'll give you that. The greatest promoter, you know. Yeah, I like UFC. I go to UFC. Yeah, it's fights me. I take you apart. Sorry, not my best. Right out of a Lucky Charms commercial. And so I think it's always the same. Like I can't do UFC. They like people that don't do what they

do. You know how it is. So anyway, it was super fun to have them there. Today was not as freezing as the last couple of days, but Theo all day does say very clever things like you would think, or you might not think, but. Was it when the camera's rolling or it's just clever catering? Both, both. We're waiting in the car and I'm freezing and I go, I got long johns on.

He goes, you do? I was thinking of wearing long johns if I ever get married. And so a camera got that, you guys are just- It's just in the car. And then we get out and we go, hey, are we mic'd? They go, yeah, I go, get us in the car,

just talking before we get out in the scene. Cause it's funny to hear what we pull in and say, and then get out, has nothing to do with the scene. Always rolling productions is the name of my production company. And you want to catch those little throwaways. I just think Long Johns is like, Long Johns is a funny word, you know? It's like, I feel like I'm like a porcupine, you know?

He goes, I go, I said, it's so funny to me. You were Long Johns, if you ever get married someday, he goes, yeah, because I want to be warm. He goes, I actually want to be warm more than I want to be married. So he knows he's doing a bit. But it's all, it's well constructed. Like it's just, whatever he's saying is good. Yes. And all day. And then we laugh and then we try to put something

in that movie because we say something about rainforest cafe and it's always bananas. And I know people want to hear him like that. So his character's a little dingy because he got hit by a car. Yeah. And so it's a good excuse for the rest of the movie. He can kind of say anything.

That's fantastic. Keep him, yeah, keep him coming. He has his own lane. It's very clever the way he presents his comedy. I don't know if there's anyone, you know, there was Mitch Hedberg, there's other court each. Hedberg was cool, yeah. But Theo is, yeah, he's got a special.

He's got a very unique fingerprint in the world of comedy. I have a new name for the movie, Busboys. It's now Theo Vaughn and David Spade in riding coattails. What are we, whose coattails are we riding? I don't know. We'll take anybody. and riding coattails. What are we, whose coattails are we riding? I don't know. We'll take anybody.

We don't even, consciously he's like, let's not put a lot of celebrities in here because it should be kind of down and dirty. And I'm like, okay. I mean, it's hard not to go to your friends and go, hey, can you come out here? Hey, Dana, can you come out here and do something? Look, he has a point, you know, because when you see the famous person, I remember Matt

Damon, who's a brilliant actor, but he was in Interstellar, a billion dollar math and economy spaceship movie. And then he's, Hey, who are you? And he's turned away and he turns back and it's just a big Matt Damon face. And it took me out of the movie. I could see that. Also if you see someone well known and then they're like, Oh, that guy out of the movie. The way they did it. I could see that. Also, if you see someone well known and then they're like, oh, that guy's in the movie.

Sometimes it can take you out. It's fun to have people in, but it's a tough decision to go, should we try to get people that are really well known? Should we just go down and dirty and get a few buddies and comedians and unknown actors? The studio loves stunt casting and loading them in, and I don't blame them. They want to hedge, hedge, hedge.

And maybe someone in Spain is a huge fan of whoever they get. If you're doing a studio movie, they're like, hey, get a huge soccer player to do something. Right. And get a huge TikToker. And then get, they just are going anywhere, everywhere to grab anybody's audience

and bring it into that movie. If it feels authentic with you and Theo and just feels thrown away and two guys having fun, I think that's good length to be in personally. We just need to keep it hopefully funny. All right. Moving on. What is your week like, Dana? Let's hear about it. Well, there's stuff that's just in the ether now. One thing that's always, I keep referring to my team and I hear people say, my team will reach out, my team will get back to you. And I just think it's kind of, I don't know

when that came in because a team used to be sports and now it's just an office. They make plumbing equipment. My team's going to reach out. My team is on it. No, you don't have a team. My team will get back to you. So the people should know in Hollywood, you go, you say, hey, let's say Chelsea Handler's doing the podcast next week. They're like, we talked to her team, dialed in with her team. Her team got back to us. Her team's looking at Friday. Her team's looking at stuff.

Yeah. Her team's looking at Thursday the 29th. Her other team, because she has several teams, is looking at the 23rd. Yeah, and we're like, hey, we- Other teams, she has several teams, is looking at the 23rd. Everyone's team. But we talked to Larry David's team. He was about to do it, but then there's a fire, so the team's circling back.

And some people are honest. My team will get back to be honest. I have a shitty team. I don't have a very good team. They don't have a winning record, but they will get back to you. They're a minor league team. I don't have a very good team. They're not have a winning record, but they will get back to you They're a minor league team. Yeah, so basically let's talk about just things that are Evergreen now like okay this this came out just before this podcast. It's still gonna be good in a couple days Trump said

That the drones were not UFOs but the FAA approved the drones for quote research and quote other reasons. That just brings up more shit. What do you mean other reasons? What do you mean research? They've got go-karts with lights and wings on them, hundreds of them right over New Jersey for research. Thousands. Thousands. And you don't mention it for two months? And they don't mention it for two months.

I, that one's a little worrisome to me. Uh, I feel like it's honestly a mixture between real UFOs and manmade UFOs, but there's really, these aren't little cute drones, which is a fun name of calling like a 600 foot aircraft. You know, there's different, there's so many different kinds and they're morphing into different things, you know, they're like circled and they go flat and you're like, this is bananas. What's going on? I think I'm going to go on a limb that we may need a little quick visit on the next super fly for my friend, Mr.

Stevie? Stevie Greer, doctor, you know, so I think that they said that later there was a lot of knuckleheads with go-karts up there and wings and filled the sky. But initially they put them up there, didn't tell the public quote unquote for research and other reasons. So I mean, even Trump, who's like the most,

will say anything. What can I tell him? I'll tell him, I'll tell him research and other reasons. I won't tell him about the aliens. I'm not gonna tell him because we don't need aliens. Nobody likes an alien. They don't like them. They don't trust them.

They don't trust them because they're all illegal aliens. No, these are real aliens. They're not the other guy They should have a movie aliens versus illegally Gets a good poster. Yeah, that is a good poster So that lets you know, we can let our fans Talk amongst themselves. The other thing that happened this week was deep seek that talk amongst themselves. The other thing that happened this week was DeepSeek,

which is an AI that they made for a buck 50. Now, normally it takes a hundred billion to make a cool AI chips. Yeah, I heard about this while I was working. Chinese guys who had nothing, they went to Radio Shack and they came out with the greatest AI in history. And you know, I did talk to it today. I downed my app.

And this is what it said. I said, deep seek, deep seek. How is ketchup made? Two minute pause. And it said, I don't know. I said, deep seek, you deep suck. Pause. And it says, fuck you, human. That was the, that was the exchange. Fuck you. I said, deep seek, you suck, rack them. Now I will say, I said, deep seek, how is

ketchup made? It said, you don't really know this answer? And I go, well, don't worry about that. I'm just testing you. Well. And it's like, all right. I talked to my brother Brad as an AI guy and we created one today called DeepDoodoo and that's for people who have problems

in relationships or finances. I am DeepDoodoo. And I'm sorry, it's all I got. And when DeepSeek came out, finances. I am deep doo doo. And I'm sorry. It's all I got. And when deep sea came out, a lot of investors were in deep doo doo. I'm deep. When it crashed. Definite Johnny Carson thing. Oh, he was in deep doo doo.

I kid you not. There is a one that that's if you invest in squirrels, it's called deep squeak. It's probably a lie. That's not real. Today, I don deep squeak. It's probably a lie. That's what you told me today. I don't think so. AI has taken over everything. I don't trust any of it. Yeah.

Deep squeak. We have an AI joke today. We did, I'm like, it's AI is out there, but it's just, I don't love saying the term AI. I will say on my Instagram, it's too much. And I think that comes back, swings back to the UFOs where these people just don't know you can't, even if Stephen Greer said it's coming out in a month,

I've seen more new stuff and it's mind boggling and nobody cares. No, no, that's the interesting part, nobody cares. Unless you see an alien walking up to the White House going, take me to the earlier, that's people with the easy stuff. Well, the response from the government, let's put it that way, just doesn't, doesn't,

I love this phrase, it doesn't hold water. And so it just creates more questions. So I, by the way, this is very quick, but it tells you what the actual people did with Deep Seek that was revolutionary. Normally, chat GBT would tell the robot person, AI, study this library, like read every book in the library, million books. And I go, okay. And then you ask it a question about a book and it immediately answers. So what they did to circumvent the lack of power that they have with these goofball radio shack chips, they just train the A.I. to go find the book. Go get me Moby Dick. Oh,

just one minute, sir. And then he goes and gets it and has read it and then answers it. And that created so much more room for less power. Because knowing the answer in a millisecond is a bazillosecond. And it takes so much energy for that AI to learn those million books, but they can teach the AI, let me go look up the book. My new name is the Dewey Decimal AI. Well, when they say they invested, you know, I think that was one of the new policies, invest 500 billion. I'm like, that's fucking they invested, you know, I think that was one of the new policies, invest 500 billion. I'm like, that's fucking 18 zeros, babe. Like, that's a lot of cash to throw at one project.

Well, this news this week reorientated the world. Now the market came back a little bit, but the idea that our companies are spending hundreds of billions buying these chips and they literally said they did it with 5 million, 5 million versus a hundred billion. So it completely market crashed. People are processing it and we'll see. Markdown everything must go. Yeah, I know. It's like someone making a podcast as good as ours for like $5. No way. Heather, can you tilt this up? I'm sitting up for a second. This is Heather. Well, I'm a little scared of AI, but I guess I'm scared of everything. Who cares?

Also, you're not afraid of Nate Diaz. I'll just give you that much. He's my boy. You got sassy with that guy. Playoff football is here with Bet MGM, an official Sportsbook partner of the National Football League. Yard after yard, down after down, the King of Sportsbooks gives you the chance to take action to the endzone and celebrate every highlight real play this postseason. And as an official Sportsbook partner of the NFL, BetMGM is the best place to fuel your football fandom on every game day. With a variety of exciting features, BetMGM offers you plenty of seamless ways to jump straight onto the gridiron and to embrace peak sports action.

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Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. Well, it's January, Dana. I don't know if you have checked the calendar, but... I don't check the calendar, but I just sense the holidays are over. The hustle and the bustle and the rustle and the whole, the jerky and the cheese and the Santa and the blah, blah, blah. It's over. But it's over. Yeah.

It's now time to recover. Think a little bit, you know, after all that holiday spending, you know who you are. It's a hangover for your credit. That's right. Yeah. You got to get back on track in 2025. Yep. This is the year. Start building.

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You got to start somewhere. Right. And so this way it always seems overwhelming. How do I do it? And kickoff kind of starts you slow and then slowly but surely you can get up. Let's say your credit, I don't know what yours is Dana, let's say it's 600, right?

You could jump 28 points in the first month. Wow. And that's noticeable. It goes, yeah. That's a chunk. Kickoff is smart. It's a legit credit hack with no catch. You know what I'm saying? No credit check. No hidden fees, no interest.

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How things go over time. I sort of, yeah. We'll talk later. By the way, in the App Store, it has over 100,000 positive reviews. Wow, 98% are five stars, sounds familiar. Like my act. Listen, shake off the credit card hangover and look forward to a brighter credit with kickoff.

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between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary. Oh, soon you'll, oh, this is a good story. This is related. AI will soon be able to translate what your cat or dog is saying to you, bullfucking shit.

You know what? Come on. No, I think it will. I think it will because the AI brain is unlimited and it would have so much information in its brain that it makes sense to me. But the people that say like, when a dog is doing like this with his paw, what he wants

to do is tell the owner he's happy with him, but he's a little frustrated. I'm like, who's talking to the dogs? Everyone just, it's all speculation. But everyone believes it. Oh yeah, that's this. And that means that poor baby does something. Well, newsflash for you, you know, I read a lot. Give me newsflash.

Newsflash is that they're not quite sure why cats purr. All I know is that it's a charming sound. They think maybe it was manipulation. My cat boots would sometimes, when I was a a kid would get up on my chest and sleep and look right at me and purr. And I'm just leaning back at age 10 and then Boots' paws would start to start to grind into my chest. I said to myself even at age 10 is this cat getting off? Are we just friends? What's going on? I don't know if I mentioned that on the podcast in our 700 episodes. Yeah, you were dating Boots for a while. You know what which really is

ironic? Boots was black and white and had little white paws. So some genius, I think it was Garth, went, I think we should call him Boots. That was Brad. We should call him Boots. Dude, my friend had a black cat named at midnight and a orange one pumpkin. I mean...

I love you on Superfly after 29 hours in a car in the desert. This girl told me, she went on a date and I go, you're telling me the most boring date story. She goes, do you want to know what I named my cats when I was little? I had a white one named Snowball. I had a black one named Midnight. I'm like, oh boy, we got a clever household there.

And then there was one named Wilbur and one pink one named Pinky. I'm like, goddamn. We had a little poodle named Pepe and I don't know why it wasn't even Mexican or anything, but Pepe was kind of hip. I had a German shepherd named Princess and she was so cute and this ratty dog next door named Shecky that had like, you know, some of the fur burned off. It's just like really like a street dog. I don't know how address would hop the fence and just wail and just bone Princess all the time.

Princess like, I'm sorry, does someone know this dog? It's so embarrassing. Dogs just get it on right away and there's not a big courting process. That's not disturbing walking down the street at age seven and dogs just get it on right away and there's not a big courting process. I found it disturbing walking down the street at age seven and seeing dogs getting it on and then some old man with a hose, get out of here!

Spray them. Why is he breaking it up? They're in love, come on! They're in love. Oh, I can't believe it! I know Princess is like, maybe we can get some appetizers first. It's literally jump scratch up.

Hey, how's it going? We're at a barbecue. He's like, hey, got some coleslaw in there. And Princess is like, maybe we can get some appetizers first. It's literally jump scratch up. Hey, how's it going? We're at a barbecue. He's like, hey, you got some coleslaw over there. And Princess is like, is anybody going to help her? They don't have hands. This is like, you know, assault. I'm being assaulted here. Yeah.

But anyway, that was- And then Princess got pregnant. Didn't see Shaki around much. And then about a year later, Shaki walks by. Hey, princess, what's going on? She's got all the puppies. He's got a metaphor. He's like, hey, where you been?

I haven't seen you. And she's like, oh, just the yard that I live in that I'm not allowed to leave in my whole life. I've always been here. He's like, cool, we should meet up. And she's like, yeah, let me know. I'm like, princess, you're back already? You're in? you're into it.

What happened to the puppies? They had a weird relationship. Give them away? Puppies, we had 13. 13? Actually 13, I stayed out in the grass when she had her puppies, Heather. So good dude I was.

I had ticks in my hair. They're gone now. Crime meaning what are you, an obstetrician all of a sudden? You know, suddenly we got a six year old phoenix gyno colleges. And that wasn't a gyno, it was magical Dana. I didn't know what I was doing. I think it's great that human beings can have a cat,

a dog, a hamster, whatever, and just humanize it completely so it's like a human, but they don't have to send it to college or anything or feed it much. You know what the sad part was? Because back then, Dana, it was okay to have your dog in the yard, no one even thought twice about it. Meanwhile, it's 110. So she'd come up to the Arcadia door, she's like,

what's going on? I'm like, princess, and she's like, I'm like, princess, I can't open the door. It's too cold. All the cold air will come out, but she wanted to come in, you know? Well, why wouldn't, why wouldn't she? Well, for a minute or two,

but that's just the way it was back then. It was, it was bullshit. I was disappointed in boots because, because at one point, you know, I thought the cat was actually really smart. And then we were going on a vacation in Montana and we had to get boots in the house. So we couldn't get the cat in actually really smart. And then we were going on a vacation in Montana and we had to get boots in the house. So we couldn't get the cat in the house

and we're all trying to leave in the station wagon, seven of us. So I took a plate that we used to use like a little plate, a little small, you know, bread roll plate. And I didn't put food on it cause that wasn't getting her in, but I just tapped a spoon on it, went outside in the yard and it followed me like a Pied Piper just with the tap. This cat is a fucking idiot.

Yeah, that's kind of typical boots. Typical boots. Yeah. Or give me another story. Pumpkin snowball. Oh, Martha Stewart said her favorite SNL impersonations of her isn't the one you would have expected. How many have there been?

Over the five decades. I can't read this. David Spade's my favorite. This is pretty cool. You really jumped to the front of it, but it was... Yeah, nine people did her on the show. Alan Cumming. Who else?

Yeah, I think Anna Gasteyer, Earpanda, I don't know. I did have her poncho, and then I did it with her. I went on her show and did it, but I can't believe someone sent me this. Where did you get her poncho? It said, I sourced her poncho for the out of jail bit. Yeah, she couldn't host SNL because they wouldn't let her out of jail early or something.

Well, look, as a scoop right now, could we hear and or see a little bit of your impression? I have the poncho still. Well, did you change your voice at all? Or did you sound like David Spade? Hey. I think I tried to change it. And then when I went on with her, I had a funny wig that was 98% of it.

Poncho. And we'll get a picture we'll put up here, but that's cool. Not wig was 98% of it. Poncho is 2%. So that it was unneeded to have a funny voice. All right, next one. I like everything I'm hearing. I love it so far, love it.

Yeah. Buffering. Oh, Anthony Mackie. Okay, here's an Anthony Mackie set. I'll read it. I saw this day and I thought, it's a lot. He plays Captain America. I don't know if you heard this day enough.

No. Here's the quote he said when he's doing an interview about Captain America. For me, Captain America represents a lot of different things. And I don't think the term America should be one of those things. Why would you say that?

What does it mean? And then he had to set the record straight. Yeah. Why would you say that? What does it mean? And then he had to set the record straight. Yeah, he had to say that. But what would you say? What did it mean? I'm it seems not very flattering to America, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, I'm a little flummoxed.

I'm a little flummoxed. There's a lot of things about Captain America, but America's not one of them. You know what? I played Captain America in Master of Disguise. You did? I did. I played Captain America,

I was at the piano, I had the outfit on and everything. I just thought it was Captain America. I mean, look at his shield. It has American colors. Yeah, American colors. It's really just the only guy that has to like America, really. It's Captain America. Just look at the name.

It's like the three stooges. There's three of them and they're stooges. I mean, it's not Captain Soviet Union. Yeah. I don't know how you backpedal. I mean, I don't know if he's backpedaling. I don't know what he meant. He seems like a good dude. I don't know. Here,pedal. I mean, I don't know if he's backpedaling. I don't know what he meant. He seems like a good dude.

I don't know. Here, pan down. See what he says. Did he say anything? See what he says. Mm-hmm. The term America. Okay.

Let me be clear about this. Let me be clear about this. I'm a proud American taking on the shield of the hero like Cap is the honor of a lifetime. I have the utmost respect for those who served and have served our country. Cap has universal characteristics that all people, all the people all over the world can relate to. So I guess that's, he just misspoke because he's being pretty patriotic there. No, I mean, I think I'm not going to say someone got to him, but I think when a movie's coming

out and you say that everyone's scrambling going, say, just go put out something that's the exact opposite. People get in trouble. Like the guy who played the Hulk said, I don't really like heavy people. They're too hulky. And then he, so I had to call that back. A lot of these superheroes get in trouble by not talking about their character properly. Iron Man was against the steel industry for a long time. Oh man, I mean, Robert Downey Jr. almost got kicked out of the guild with that. So you got to be careful when you do a Marvel Comics superhero and not be miss- Spider-Man was anti-web. Spider-Man was anti-Spider.

He said, I love everything about Spider-Man except that he's called spider-man. I got a chore We got a titter out of Heather on that one She's like I like the premise these aren't the I know what you're doing with this It's not like crushing the main thing is that we're people are doing other things while they're listening to this I'm talking to you Gardner Talking you I'll tell you something when I did a I'm talking to you Gardner. I'm talking to you, Lin. I'm talking to you, over driver. I'll tell you something.

When I did a Playboy interview, back in the day when Playboy interviews were sort of a big deal, I had done a MCI commercial. That was a phone company. So it was a big national commercial. And they say, so you do collect calls cause it's part of my schtick.

I used to go beep boop bop boop beep. And they go, so you use MCI when you like, what are you on the road and you call them? I go, well, actually I have sprint for that, but and then Gerbitz called me, are you an idiot? Just tell me, are you an idiot? Do you understand how the world works? Did you just shit on the company that just paid you to do a commercial?

I go, no, all I said was I don't use their product. They're like, yeah, that's where idiot comes in. They want their money back. I'm like, no, they don't. Well, I did a commercial for Taco Bell and I was being interviewed and I said, I like the tacos, I don't know, I never got the bell part.

Do not like it. What are you doing? That's the brand. You an idiot. You can't make sound of the bell. It's all. Somebody hates money because they're going to give it back. But really Taco Bell, what's a Taco Bell? I never got it. I don't get it. I never got Taco Bell. I do like when Gerbits, I saw him and I had a gray sweater on. He goes,

I got a sweater just like that, except mine's expensive. That's a when Gerbets, I saw him and I had a gray sweater and he goes, I got a sweater just like that except mine's expensive. That's a classic Gerbets burn. Then he goes, I got, I had a shirt like that once, then my mom got a job. That is from Wayne's world. And then my mom got a job. That was Mike's wane to somebody.

People don't know that the old days a good burn was get a job, dude. Yeah. Right? Now it's like, get some Bitcoin, dude. Dude, get some alts. I'm into alts. Okay, let's see the next story. I'm holding in my hand.

I'm holding in my hand. I'm holding in my hand. Oh, okay. A Georgia man is not laughing. Okay, so he bought this drill online and then they sent it to him and they just sent him that paper of picture of a drill. Pictures worth a thousand words. All of these, just here from them. But not when you ordered a drill. Pictures worth a thousand words. All of these, this here from them.

But not when you ordered a drill. This is a picture of what they sent me. That's right, Sylvester Franklin ordered a drill from AliExpress and what he got was a printed photo of the drill he ordered. It's worse. I paid washing and this is what I

is that? This is a screw. screw the screw out the wa been going back and forth since he ordered the item throughout everything so refund. So we started look and we found the company' a subsidiary of Alibaba, sometimes called the Amazon of China.

In 2021, the office of the United States Trade Representative added AliExpress. Loud woman, Jesus Christ. Fire beware, wow. AliExpress never heard of that dog shit company. How funny. They sent me this screw. I didn't know what that screw did.

It's supposed to go on. I would think it's the end of your hose. You go squirt like. And they just sent me this screw. I didn't know what that screw did. It's supposed to go on. I would think it's the end of your hose. He goes squirt like. And they just sent him the screw. Yeah. And a picture of a drill. My brother, my brother, Brad Garth again, he did it. He would do scams. He would scam for that stuff. So Battle Creek, Michigan, you know, you find the thing in the cereal box. And so what he did was normally you're supposed to send a quarter. So he did a little teeny tear in the cereal box. And so what he did was normally you're supposed to send a quarter. So he did a little teeny tear in the corner and sent it. And then they,

they assumed that someone took the quarter out of the envelope and he got the little toy anyway. Yeah. Yeah. For a quarter that he's going to heck for a quarter. Hey man, in those days, this is, I go back. A quarter is for $12 million. Listen, I remember 25 and ask them for $12 million. Listen, I remember 25 cent movies. Do you? I remember, I remember a 15 cent McDonald hamburger. Do you? Really? Yeah. 15 cents. And then O'Henry's was a hamburger joint.

I remember O'Henry's candy bar. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, it wasn't O'Henry's. It was some hamburger joint that had horse meat and they got rid of it. I think it was called Henry's. Henry's. No. Baby Ruth was a candy bar. Right. And then-

Not Babe Ruth. Do you remember the three hamburgers from A&W? Brazier Burger? A&W? Papa Burger? Mama Burger? Teen Burger had bacon and then the fourth one, which you would have probably loved, the Baby Burger. Comes in the milk bottle. Comes in the milk bottle. Add a noise, add a noise. What about the cat? How about the dog?

You did some good coyote last week. I don't know where the coyotes went. Here's dogs in our dog race. No, these are dogs in our dog race. No, these are dogs in the mountains way off our way. Here's a man making a funny sound with his mouth. I know, I'm a little rusty. I used to be able to do it. Oh, speaking of dogs, look at this.

This is a channel in my trailer, because my dog shit trailer, I can't get TV, internet. So I found a Baywatch channel, and I found, because I did Baywatch once, and I found a Letterman, not only Letterman channel, Stupid Petricks only. All right. And which is worth it.

It's one of his best things. So here's a funny dog, just because I was bored, I saw this, I which is worth it. It's it's one of his best things. So here's a funny dog just because I was bored I saw this other was funny. Hey, and what are you guys gonna do? She's going to play dead Look how cute this dog is and then come alive. It says here. Yes play dead Okay, Bailey now Bailey will come on Bailey you got this Bailey play dead Oh, and then she gets a treat yeah, it's terrible non plus face is the funniest part It's all bones go away. Just falls. Completely flop. Completely collapses. Yeah.

And it keeps going. I like the double flop. The floppy ears are hilarious too. That's all. That was great. Thank you very much, Bailey. Thank you very much, Mike. Let's take one more.

That is one of the best stupid pet tricks. Isn't that a great one? Yeah. The dog is just up, alert, and then completely flops for people. Completely gives up the radio. Great acting and letterman always goes, what can I do to help? And they always go, nothing, just get out of the way. Okay.

Okay. Next one. That was good though. Got that Greg. Good clean fun. Good clean fun. Nothing, you know. Okay. Another dog.

Read this. What does it say? Watch what happens when I turn my dog's favorite show off. So the dog's watching TV cartoons. A husky. Yeah, a husky. And the guy turns it off while he's watching. You want your card for us? Oh, yeah, okay.

As long as it's not too annoying. No, it's not annoying. What's it called? Turns it off. They always... Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof Tail's wagging, but the dog is not happy. He like looks at the remote. He knows something's up. He knows the guy has the power and control. Blue, I just called the network. They're not coming back on until 10 tomorrow.

I know that's what they said. Very frustrated. You can file a complaint with him. I can't help you. Look at the comments, Dana. Look who left a comment. Oh, this child abuse. Turn that show back in right now.

Yeah, that's David Spade. I put turn on that effing show for you. You're in there. I'm sorry. I didn't see that. David Spade, turn on the show for you. Yeah, because I'm mad. Because it ends. Okay, turn it off. Yeah. All right. Enough of that.

But end it because I'm like, OK, now turn it on. So the dog's happy and he never turns it on. The dog's going bananas. I go, put this dog out of his goddamn misery. What other animals can be in a room and watch television? A cat doesn't, right? A cat doesn't watch television. I don't think so. A turtle? Maybe.

Maybe. Probably not. Gerbil? Am I not turtle-y enough for the Turtle Club? I know, people mention Turtle Club on the comments a lot. Turtle resonated for some reason. What if you came out after that movie and said, I don't like turtles.

Ha ha ha. but I play them in the turtle club part. Kevin Yeager created the design with the bald cap and the little thing on the lip and then the whole turtle. Oh, am I not turtle enough for the turtle club? That's a good quote. I hear that quote. Well, it hear that quote.

Well, it's so stupid. That's why I've made 100 million with video. Oops, uh-oh. God dang, but who's counting? I'd say with the video sales too. Oh yeah, we used to do, not we, but the world was about do a movie, makes whatever, X, goes to HBO, gets seen again, goes to video or DVD, rack up sales and rentals.

It's great. It was a great biz. It was great. Yes. We did a tie in with Pepsi, I think, and did a lot of- For Turtle Club? For Master of Disguise, yeah. You'd get a little, if you bought the,

I don't know if it was VHS or it was DVDs at that point, or if you rented them, you get a little prize or something. I don't remember. What are you looking at me for? I know. I like it. Okay. This is a little animal heavy this show. I love animals.

I want a dog bath. Oh, there's another one. Oh my, oh, this is tied in. Okay. My snake learned how to play dead. Could this even work? Let's see. Okay, the snake. Ah.

That's kind of funny. It's not as good as Bailey. It must be a bio-evolutionary thing. It can't be trained. It doesn't think it's getting. It's touched. He just touches it. Opens his mouth and goes like. and then pretends that plays dead.

So it's upside down. You can't train a snake to do that. Right. Or is it just a reflex? Dude, I got to tell you, we had a moot, we had a dog in the movie and I drive around with a dog in the car. Of course it's tricky. This dog stomped on my nut sack maybe 1,000 times.

The only thing I knew how to do is pounce on my balls and then not do what it was supposed to do. So it's like, get on the dash, she runs over, wham, hits me in the nuts and then looks out the window the other way. I'm like, well, pop it. You fuck it. The dog's name was Poppet or it was Pumpkin or something.

And every time I yelled, I couldn't yell. They go, don't call him by his name. I'm like, and so I'm like, hey, fuck face, don't keep, because I love dogs, and he just scrappy little dog, very cute. Rumor was related to Toto, that's a horse shit. Oh, it's that size dog stomping on you? It's a little bigger, but enough to like get,

use my nuts, it's like a fulcrum push-off mini tramp. Every time I went to the window, nuts, window, weiner, window. And I'm like, ah, honestly. Couldn't you wear protection? I mean, at this point. Why would I even think I should have put a clipboard over? Cause every time he's over here by the window, I turn to say a line and he dives over and goes, boing.

And I go go ugh. Did they keep the camera rolling for that? That'll be gold. I mean that should be most of the movie is just a gag reel of me going hey, I would never yell at the dog. I just yelled at everyone around the dog. Oh my nuts, because you can, you know, girls don't know this, you can barely touch, my buddy used to do this, you know, girls don't know this.

You can barely touch, my buddy's just, he goes, if you barely touch your nuts the wrong way, you're looking for your car keys. Picture my nuts up here. And he goes, honey, where's my, and you go, call work. He just fell to the ground. You can tap it that hard the wrong way.

And you're like, see you in 20 minutes. So this dog was douche douche douche speed bag and I'm like hmm I cannot and the last one got me and it hurt the rest that day of shooting my day off damn and I still have flashbacks. I'm glad we brought that up. Fun story but it made a turn toward the end. I want to think about it. Wait, Heather has a question. What? When we had the major windstorm, I thought the Matt. Oh, the windstorm.

We were out north where that new fire was, the Eden, what was it called? Yeah, here by the Hughes fire. The Hughes fire. And we were even not even supposed to shoot. We were like, should we go? It's 70 mile an hour winds. So we have a stunt, not really a stunt,

but we fall in these big heavy mats. I'm looking away and they go, here comes a windstorm. So everyone closes their eyes because most people are dressed like Burning Man with the goggles and it looks like Dune. And this fucking thing blows up and nails me and knocks me back and knocks my wig off my head. I can't wait for the gag reel. I mean, I think you're gonna have to have like, cause a 15 minute montage at the end of Wigs flying. The gag reel is funny.

Cause we can't keep all the jokes in and it just, some people don't do them. We'll definitely do one. There's a lot of good throwaway jokes too. You know, it doesn't have to be 90 minutes. It could be 70. I know. Just keep it legal.

I wonder when they go, a comedy to be legal is like 84 minutes or something. Well, what they did with Mouse Guys, they cut it, I did an edit of it too, but then finally it ended up like 68, 70 minutes, and then 15 minutes of slow motion credits and outtakes. Just to fill it up? Just to fill, get the actual space.

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Whatever you choose, your espresso will be handcrafted with care at Starbucks. Toronto. There's another great city that starts with a T. Tampa, Florida. at Starbucks. You've never flown to Florida like this before, so you'll land in Tampa ready to explore. Visit flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. Oh, okay, look at this, Dana. Tell me if this would scare you. Pilot forgets to attach, the tourist is on the left, going hang gliding. Okay, let's watch the video.

Geez. How long do you last? Okay, full clip. Realizes there's no attachment. Okay, would you drop here? No, it looks too high. I might have dropped. Well, you're yelling at the guy,

take it down, take it down, right? So here he comes to go down. This is your chance, right? Right. I might've dropped even. I can't tell how high he is though. He'd break a leg, but I'd be so scared. I couldn't hold on. Oh, get away from the trees, dude.

Well, what he's out of control. He's out of control. He can't. I mean, how long can you hold? He can't. I mean, how long can you hold? And if I like, he's got his doofy selfie stick. Now that looks stupid. So he's holding with two hands kind of spread out. Yeah, like a pull up.

Yeah, like you're doing a pull up. That's just very hard. Guys, go. We're getting higher. I guess he can't. Yeah. From land it. Remember when Rambo jumped in at three, that's that. Oh my God. Is this going to work? No. Well, what's the end of this? There's a flat piece of grass. Okay. Here we go. Oh, pretty quick too.

Coming in hot. Yeah. Coming in hot. Yeah. Who's the blue in the car? Blue is the guy that's strapped in. There's the passenger. Later. Good deej. But look at how fast they're going.

Wow. Well, they said it was, you know, if you hang from a pull-up bar, I mean, forget the adrenal. Well, they had the adrenal thing going, but two minutes with fully clothed, gripping and holding under terror, that person saved their life with that. Cause that's hard. You gotta really have a good grip to do that. Oh yeah.

Yeah, I mean, look at me with the mic. Look at this. Look at that. That's a grip, dude. That's a grip. Yeah, look at me. Oh shit, Dana. Don't scare the audience.

So. Nobody's scared. I'm not just gonna punch you. Audience is scared. Nobody's scared. Everyone on YouTube just leaned back. All right, let's see, maybe one more. One more, let's bring this home, man.

All right. This is a quickie. It's another animal. It's home, man. All right. This is a quickie. It's another animal. It's funny. It's all animals, all animal and one human hanging. I've never seen this. Heather, look at this snake. If people are scared of the snakes, I would probably think this is funny.

I'm not that scared of snakes. OK. Hello. Ozzy Farmer, Australian kangaroos. Where is it? Oh, there it is. OK. Hello. Aussie farmer, Australian kangaroos. Where is it? Oh, there it is. Hello. OK. The worst filming. Oh, there it is. Oh, wow.

Oh, that's cool. Even their snakes bounce like kangaroos down under. Looks like snap peas. It's an old. You would not tell that from any leaf on the ground. No, it was just a hopping little... That was kind of cool though. It jumped. Yeah, you go to watch out for these kangaroo snakes. Crikey. Yeah, crikey. They go out jumping all whoopie whoop doop. Yep.

Whoopie whoop doop. Not my best. I can get the Australian accent if I watch a movie. I did meet the croc hunter on a plane. You did? Probably about a year before, yeah. You know, I love, the thing I loved about Crocodile Dundee was when he would go, he'd say, you know, that's not a knife.

And then he'd pull out something twice as big. That's a knife, you know. So I did a thing, I don't know if I mentioned this, I did thing called Alligator McGeeif. So I did a thing, I don't know if I mentioned this, I did a thing called Alligator McGee. I submitted it as a sketch where the guy was like, he'd have a refrigerator. That's a stapler. That's not a refrigerator. This refrigerator, every 10 times bigger. Everything was gigantic. It didn't make it. Alligator McGee, it didn't make it. But I thought it was funny.

Kyle McLaughlin plays Alligator McGee's sidekick. Good reference. I just saw the Kyle McLaughlin show a clip of Bad Idea Jeans. That was probably the first commercial parody I did. Were you in Bad Idea Jeans? I know Mike was. I think I was gone by then. Were you in Colon Blow? No, I saw it.

That was Phil. That was one of the top 10 commercial. I remember it at the time. That was Phil. Whoa. On Colon Blow cereal. It would take one, two, three. Nope. 400 bowls of cereal. With Colon Blow.

Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Okay, one last one, then we'll hang it up. All right. This is a cruise ship. This picture, if you see this walk by, what is it? You're on a cruise ship.

Okay. They're in white outfits with hats. Just like the KKK. But what were they supposed to... Oh, they're dressed as snow cones. Oh, it's snow cones, but it looks suspicious. It looks very suspicious. It looks very suspicious to me.

It looks like a clan rally. Exactly. God, why did we go on the Princess Mary cruise, and then we had to see the clan walking by. They're like, oh, at four o'clock there's a real fun clan rally that comes by. Hilarious. And then someone afterwards is like, they mistook us for what?

We're snow cones. It's so obvious. It's so obvious we're snow cones. I mean, why is everyone so weird? It's because we have a pointy white hat on. It doesn't mean we're not snow cones. Just because we're exactly a KKK outfit. What's going on?

Just because we have KKK outfits on and we're marching in kind of a Hitler-esque unison way, doesn't mean we're not snow cones. Yeah. Why is everyone... Why is everybody just conjecturing? Makes me sick. Yeah. People on cruises are weird. All right, I guess we can wrap it up.

All right. Dana, we had a great time. We're firing the entire country. I fired everybody today. The entire country has got to go. They can go for seven months. He's doing so much. It's just, it's really interesting. It's great.

Gotta love the guy. He said, I said, do what I said. I got to do it. I got to do it. He comes out of those starting blocks in the morning at like 4 a.m. He's like, yeah, I'm doing it. I'm going to sign this. I'm flying here. Unreal. He does it at 2 a.m. He's making executive calls. I can't keep track of what he's doing. I'll withhold judgment, but it's pretty wild. It's really exciting.

It's fun to watch. Never boring. So anyway. We'll see you next week and thanks for checking in. Thanks for checking in with us. Kevin Nealon is on Fly on the Wall this week. Check him out. Yes, the great Kevin Nealon.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.