Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #60 - TIGER KING calls from Prison

Episode Date: March 21, 2025

Dana and David are joined by Joe Exotic to chat about life in prison, the fallout fromTiger King, Carole Baskin, and much more. Then the guys react to viral clips - Starbucks lawsuit, peeing into the Grand Canyon, Bill Belichick and more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Everyone I know is on the road. They always are like, we stayed in Airbnb and that's just a more common thing you hear all the time. Hotels are great, but come on. I mean, when you can just pick everything about it you want. Like here's my hotel today, they didn't even give me my breakfast. Like Airbnb, wake up, whip it up in your kitchen.

Yeah, and get a kitchen, get a pool, whatever you want. And it's all custom and you just go online and you see how it's rated and what people like. And so I guess I'm gonna say it's just freedom. You know? Yeah, listen, you got more space, more privacy. You can be closer to where you wanna be. Yeah, I was staying at really nice hotels

that I like in this area that we would go to. And then we found like a little house. So you kind of had a house, you know? And it was spotless and you just drive up and you get the key out of this thing, you go in and there's a bottle of wine and a note and it's just a great experience. Yeah, the people don't have to, I don't think,

but they always seem to put little extras in there for you. For your next adventure, people listening, maybe give it a try. They won't regret it. You make the switch from traditional hotels and, uh, let us know. Bet MGM is an official sports betting partner of the national hockey league and has your back all season long from puck drop to the final shot. You're always taken care of with a sports book born in Vegas.

That's a feeling you can only get with Bet MGM. And no matter your team, your favorite skater or your style, there's something every NHL fan is going only get with Bet MGM. And no matter your team, your favorite skater, or your style, there's something every NHL fan is going to love about Bet MGM. Download the app today and discover why Bet MGM is your hockey home for the season. Raise your game to the next level this year with Bet MGM, a sports book worth a celly,

and an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League. BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. All right. Let's start a day and it's super fly as we all know, everyone's excited about riveted, uh, setting their clocks. Uh, it's a unique, it's unique.

It's a unique super fly. I'm just going to say that upfront. It's not a tease. We're going to do something a little different, David. Yes. Oh, David. Um, well, we, uh, you know, back during the pandemic, we were all glued to the Tiger King. I was also, and Joe Exotic, who had a lot of funny catchphrases and funny things going on,

a very interesting situation down there. The zoo is a loose word. I guess it was a zoo. I don't know. I don't know if it was a zoo. Yeah. And all this cast of characters, it was like a movie and it was, they were always saying you should do a movie about that. And it's almost so exaggerated, it's hard to make a movie. Right? But who was floated? Who was floated that we know? Oh, yeah. To play Joe Exotic in the Tiger King movie.

Oh, that's right. Spadely, yeah. And that's not a con- I mean, I don't know what it was. Well, maybe it's because of Joe Dirt. Maybe because of Joe Dirt. I kind of look like this guy. And but he was very funny, very care. So I go by the funny part and, uh, it never, we never talked about it, but I

never really pursued it because it was one of those lightning in a bottle shows. And then, and then, you know, time goes on and by the time something would come out, it probably wouldn't have been as exciting, but now he's in prison and, uh, for, go ahead Dana. For apparently hiring someone to murder his nemesis, Carol Baskin, who was sort of an animal rights activist in the area and wanted to shut down Joe's zoo because she thought he was cruel to the tigers. And he thought she was cruel also and also killed her husband, he says, allegedly, right?

Right, it was redneck heaven. It was in Oklahoma and everyone's got a body buried. Everyone's got a bottle of booze in their back pocket and there's wild tigers running around. It was mesmerizing. Sure, and you don't want to look too closely at anything. Like you go into anyone's yard and you start digging, you're going to find something.

So on the surface, it seemed like a fun, goofy show to talk about. And then when you dig a little deeper, it gets a little. It's a little twisted. I read that he shot five tigers and I don't like shooting tigers. Sure. I think we can all say we're safely against that. Yeah.

And so basically we've got him, he's in jail and he's going to call in. It's like a radio show. He's going to... We got to call her. We got to call. We will not be able to hear Joe, but we're gonna hear his voice. I bet we put up a picture of him.

That's what they do, right? And then you imagine him talking. Hopefully we'll ask the questions you want us to ask. We probably won't, but we were gonna hopefully. Yeah, I did seven seconds of research, so I'm locked in low. I know, we all know about him. We all know the basics.

The more I read, you know. Yeah, yeah. But we're sort of playing for the big strokes of what people know. And speaking of big strokes, I had a big night last night. What do you mean? Watching porn, no, I'm kidding.

Oh. It just sounded like a good setup. Well, if we have a few moments, it was interesting that the astronauts got rescued on SpaceX. Yeah. After Boeing Starliner had some issues and couldn't bring them back. They were going to be there for what, eight days and they were there for 10 months. And there are side effects. Oh, yeah. I have a question about this Dana.

I'm glad you brought it up. And I know everyone's supposed to hate Elon Musk, but he did do a good thing yesterday. Well, what's this Elon Musk stuff? I mean, come on, calm down a little bit. Compartmentalize it. If you don't like Doge, go after that. But SpaceX is an amazing achievement for a private company. I mean, they totally dominated our friend Jeff Bezos

because he really said to NASA, I'm gonna give you a billion, I'll do anything you want. They looked at both spacecraft and the one that Bill Shatner went on didn't quite make the grade. What about when it lands and they have like those chopsticks, just grab it when it lands on SpaceX, it's almost impossible. Yes.

Because, I gotcha. Yes, and that to be able to reuse it instead of throwing it in the ocean brings the cost way down. So that again was a revolutionary feat of engineering. And I don't think people know this. I'm just going by the facts. I don't think people know this. I'm just going by the facts. Don't I don't want to get any letters. No Mark Andreessen is a big Silicon Valley investor in tech for decades. I know I'm casually.

He explained that. That Elon is first and foremost an engineer. So if there's a problem with SpaceX or Tesla or whatever, he goes and sits in a room with the engineers for 12 hours. I like that. And that's why he can attract such great other engineers because he speaks their language. There's no barrier. A CEO, I'm going to go golf and make a spaceship.

He's actually in there. So I think if anyone is kind of considered a genius, he has to be. You can hate a genius, but at least acknowledge that SpaceX is a revolution and Starlink, why I'm talking to you right now. Yeah. Also, here's one part about the landing that I read about today that was interesting is that a former astronaut said that they don't make money while they're up there, even though it's supposed to be for nine days. So they probably made an extra 1200 or something for 10 months. Yeah, because they get paid a travel allowance on those days.

So this sounds like a joke because it sounds funny, but I want to get to the bottom of what they got paid because that wasn't part of the plan. So this astronaut said that happened to them and they got $4 a day. They usually get about $4 a day as an astronaut. That's just bad management. If you sign a contract, you should have a strength. Say it again.

To accept this call, press five. And now a word from our sponsors, a betterment. When investing your money starts to feel like a second job, a betterment steps in with a little work life balance. They're an automated investing and savings app, which means they do the work. While they build manager portfolio, you build and manage your weekend plans. While they make it easy to invest for what matters, you get to enjoy what matters. Their automated tools simplify the complex and put your money to work optimizing day after day and again and again. So go ahead,

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Plain and simple. Start your shopping at rakuten.ca or get the racaton app. That's r-a-k-u-t-e-n dot c-a. Hey Greg. You're on with Dave and Dana. Joe, Joe come in. Joe are you on the space station? Are you out? I know it sounds like he's on SpaceX. Joe, what's today like? What did you have for breakfast? Let's just start. How are you feeling?

I've never been in prison and I've never been in prison for, I guess, seven years. I know you want to get out, but how have you changed being in prison all these years? What's it like? You know what? I wouldn't believe it if I wouldn't have had to come live this.

I really, I really wouldn't. It's crazy. If the general taxpayer knew what was going on in here, they would either close it all down or cut something. They'd have to cut something. This is really, there's no fiction. I mean, if I'd have done something wrong, I wouldn't have had to come live this. I wouldn't have had to come live this.

I wouldn't have had to come live this. I wouldn't have had to come live this. I wouldn't have had to come live this. I wouldn't have had to come live this. I wouldn't have had to come live this. I wouldn't have had to come live this. I wouldn't have had to come live this. They'd have to cut something. This is really, there's no fiction. I mean, if I'd have done something wrong, there's no fiction what I'd done wrong because this is all about drugs and alcohol and bullshit in here. In prison it is, is that what you're saying? Pardon? Yeah.

It's crazy. If they think they're going to win the war on drugs out there, they need to start by trying to win the war on drugs in here. Are drugs run on the outside from the inside? Yes. Okay. And what are the names and addresses of the guards who let the drugs come in? No, the names of the bad guys too. There are people who just want to stay in prison, right? Because they get drugs, three meals, and then they get to go run around and lift weights.

Is that some people kind of like prison because of this? A lot of them are, what do you call it? Lifers? Conformed to be, to this lifestyle, yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, because it's sort of a structured life that is, you know, when you lifestyle, yeah. Sure, yeah. Yeah, because it's sort of a structured life that is, when you get on the outside, that's why there's a lot of mental instability

out in the real world more and more every day, because it's just so hard to function in a regular society. But there you got walls, you got meals, you got rules, and I guess you got drugs. And Mike Tyson said he had a blast in prison, so. It's a little different than what you would picture, at least the prison that I'm in, because the prison that I'm in, there's no doors,

there's no bars, it's open dorm, like a college, you know? I like that floor plan. You have movement every hour, you know, for 10 minutes. You can go from place to place, you know, whether it's library or rec or chow hall or whatever. But it's pretty insane, the amount of drugs, you know, I made it 55 years without seeing heroin, K2, fentanyl, or Subosken until I came to federal prison. Were you tempted to get back on or were you ever on drugs and got off? I don't remember.

You know, that's the thing that I saw, finally saw Tiger King for the first time about four months ago. Oh, really? Oh, it was a great show. I mean, it was riveting, right? I was pretty disgusted with it to start with because I was like, they made me have to be this big mess head

and I'm the only one on the show with teeth wearing clothes, you know? It's a good point. That's kind of like the show that Kate McKenna made that was Joe versus Carol. Did you watch that? Yeah, I was aware of it. I didn't watch it. Was it more accurate or what, from your point of view? I mean, they made me have to be a whole lot more gayer than I am, you know? So you're gay, but they made you super gay. Yeah. If they wanted to make money, they would have cast David to play me because that guy that

played me went way over the top, man. Listen, I can do super gay. Just give me some notes. It was, you know, before they actually came out with that, they were gonna cast Nicholas Cage and I was like, no, no, Nicholas Cage is too dry. I said, come on. I said, you want to have a real show? You gotta cast David Spade to play Joe Dirt.

You know what I mean? Yeah. how about this? Here's my audition. Fuck you, Carole Baskin, you bitch! I say you got it. I say we got it. We got a Jim Exotic. We have to make a third movie. We'll at least a callback. We have that down. So, you know, I have three movie offers right now. And, you know, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to make it out of here either with a pardon or on appeal this year, one or the other. So yeah, when we do this new show, we have got to team up. Yeah, it's going to be a classic.

Ah, shit. Yeah. I like, you have more movies than me and Dana do and you're in jail. You've got three going. I got, yeah. What an agent's, who's your agent? Uh, what about, uh, you didn't, you, did your, you can't ask Trump, but did your, some of your team, or was that someone else not involved with you asking for a

pardon? I can't ask Trump what? Oh, uh, for a pardon or did, did some other people try to sort of help with that? Well, you know, my people are allowed to record phone calls. So I've made some pleas myself, you know, and Jerry Jones is lawyer, the owner of the Cowboys has done a press conference and made a plea to him. I've got an active Plymouthy application in the White House now. And then the good thing is Enrique, I'm not sure if I'm saying his name right, but he's

pretty cool. He's the leader of the proud proud boys He's gonna be he's gonna be in Mar-a-Lago at Mar-a-Lago Saturday, and he's going to talk to him about Okay, that's Live sketch and Trump why did you? By the way, who was the last person we talked talked to some people from Tiger King, I did before, I couldn't get to you, but when I was on my old show, lights out, and when was the last person to see you? Did anyone come in to visit you,

or do you still stay in touch? You know what's crazy is the only person that has even checked on me was John Rinky, the guy with no legs, the old manager. He checks on me pretty regularly, but other than that, nobody is even concerned themselves whether I'm dead or alive. If Carol Fasken came to visit you and you were across the glass, what do you think that conversation would go like? If Dean Carroll had a conversation? Yeah, she came to visit you in prison

and you two were talking, what would it be like? Weird or? You know the crazy part is me and Carroll really didn't have that bad of a war going on. It was just, she made money convincing people that I was an abuser because I abused baby tigers because I took them away from their mom and I made money on my my podcast I guess you'd call it it was actually just an online television show back then on JoeExoticTV.com. I made people I made money

because it was easy to make fun of her because she was just batshit crazy. And I know she killed her husband, you know? But that's where our war started, was when I started investigating Don Lewis's disappearance. And I kind of went to shit from there, but you know, I could actually look Carol in the face, you know, right to this day, and the conversation would have to be like, you know, right to this day and the conversation

would have to be like, you know, you might have put me in prison, but you didn't put me in a cage because I've never been in an actual jail cell. But you know, she threw me, she threw me in prison. I did this 1450 there. It's not that bad. Well, if I go to prison, I'm going to find out how to do that. If you could go back like seven or eight, nine years, what would you have done different? Do you have any regrets of thinking of how you would handle the whole situation?

I'd have never let Jeff Lowe in my life. Okay. He was toxic to you or what was the problem? Well, Jeff Lowe was the scammer. He conned his way into my zoo, claiming that he was this millionaire, had all this money, come to find out after he got his name on half the property, he was supposed to invest $300,000. Kelly was behind on his car payments. He didn't have anywhere to live. And then what has he got? He's pretty much selling his wife on a OnlyFans

to make a living now. It's like a bad episode of Magnum PI. Yeah, it's crazy. Magnum PI. So you and Carol were more like wrestling at the beginning, like, you know, it was sort of an exaggerated version, like enemies, but you're just hyping it up for the show. And then it took a turn when it always takes a turn for the worse if somebody gets killed. And then you mentioned that and then it ups the stakes.

And now it's now it now she's really out for revenge. That's kind of it? Yeah, you know, since the show came out, since I've been arrested, you know she's gotten on TMZ. This call is from a federal prison. Oh, shit. I think I saw it on Kelly Clarkson.

Yeah, she gets out there, you're right. You know, she got out there, and she actually rooted for a pardon for me a couple years ago. And then about five months ago, she put on her YouTube channel two videos of her right-hand girl and Alan Glover the hitman talking on the telephone where Alan admitted that he lied about it all. So she's actually put evidence out there that's on my appeal right now that doesn't prove I'm innocent. Why did the hitman lie? Well, you know, he worked for Jeff for so many years, and I think Jeff has some pretty

good dirt on him because he'd done all of Jeff's dirty work and Jeff wanted my zoo so bad that I think he blackmailed Alan. You know, according to the affidavits and the video deposition we have of Alan now, Jeff pretty much blackmailed him into doing this so Jeff could get the zoo. So what do you- Tangled web. Now, it said that you, did you euthanized, I guess it'd be a kinder word, five tigers, but it was considered made Carol really mad,

or what was that situation? Okay, I euthanized five tigers, okay, and where the jury didn't ever get a hear and explain anything was okay I was licensed by the United States Department of Agriculture okay and that's who allows you to have a zoo and they're the ones who help you write your protocols they're the ones who approve your protocols and the ones who approve everything you do and my USDA inspector kept saying, Joe, you have 260 tires.

Why are you keeping these five alive? Because they're so old and they're crippled and they're in pain. So we came to the conclusion that we needed to go ahead and put them to sleep. There was two ways in the protocol to put them to sleep, by gunshot or as long as it was done instantaneously, okay or by

injection of Utanizing by ejection. Well in order to have the vet you guys and by injection You have to tranquilize them first so she could walk in a cage without getting killed All right So that takes about 45 minutes and you have to keep tranquilizing them over and over and over and they have seizures and they have they have all kinds of pulling up and everything else. So the vet just figured out that you know what, let's just put them down with the gunshot and

have it done in a half a second. So that's what we did. And we buried them. Okay, well, the inspector that told us to do that couldn't be found to subpoena her for my trial. So the jury never got to hear her. Okay. I see. Yeah. So they didn't charge me with animal abuse or cruelty to animals or anything else. They charged me with taking five endangered species without a permit because it wasn't the USDA who prosecuted me. It was a federal game warden that was working for Carol that arrested me. So it was like, they charged me with going hunting without a permit basically. Damn. Was there a plea deal at any point for less time and so forth and so on?

Never. Never a plea deal. So it was either straight guilt or innocence. And then they sentenced you to 21 years. Oof. Yeah. Now with good behavior, I've already done seven. Would you reasonably be out anyway in a couple of years or?

If I have to do all of this, I'll be out September of 2030. I see. So four plus years or five years. I see. This phone beeped and it's going to hang up any second. So I wanted for years to be able to talk to you, David. It's just you're that big of an inspiration from your movie you made. And this made my whole... Oh, go right in the middle of his Oscar speech.

God damn it. Well, it's obviously you sound just like him. So he was enamored with you to play him in the movie. So it's obviously, you sound just like him. So he was enamored with you to play him in the movie. So it's very interesting. And he just really wanted to meet you. I think you're his favorite comedian. Well, I heard a lot back then about him

and when it was going on, but there was nothing anyone could do about it. But I do think his story is very interesting the more we hear about it, because it does sound like he was hyping it up a little bit before and then it got very dark very fast and I don't know what to make of it. He just see, you know, on the surface he seems like a cool dude to like.

Well, it's supposed to be innocent till proven guilty. So the idea was they had to prove they had to prove that he hired the hitman. I'd have to really look at the proof of that, because that was the lynchman, I think, for that. The euthanizing the Tigers wouldn't have been seven years, but a hire for murder of Carole Baskin because he believes she murdered her husband. So he was a vigilante at that point kind of, or was he doing it?

I mean, so in other words, that's the lynchman of the case. I'd have to look into it. I'm not an attorney, but- No, but can you rep him? Well, I wanted to announce it today that Joe Exotic has hired me to represent him in a court of law and we'll be doing a... I didn't get to ask him, did he gain weight? Did he lose weight? You know, some people go to prison, most people get very skinny. He was very skinny anyway. Some people shockingly gain weight. And then you think, well, that might make sense because the food is so horrible. It sounds like he says like a college dorm and you walk around a lot.

They probably are fed. Well, I think it's your own choice, but I have heard that, yeah, drugs are rampant in prison and a lot of people want to stay in there. Anyway, I don't know enough about the case, but he got convicted in a court of law and now he's in prison. Um, but we'll see. Yeah, it's very interesting. We'll see in the YouTube comments.

We'll talk more about it next week because we'll hear their questions and see, you know, we can make from it what you can make from it. We asked some good questions. Yeah. I talked about the killing of the Tigers and, you know, the Carol Baskin, I thought it, him and Carol, it sounded like an awkward Tinder date at the beginning.

You're like, what if you guys got to sit across from each other? Yeah, what would you say? But that's a good one. And also he actually was friendlier about her than I would think because after all this. Whatever happened, he's not, he wasn't doing, you do the impression, with a B word.

Dana Carvey, you bitch. Carol Baskin. That's all I can do. ["Happy Face Killer"] Now streaming. What do you know about the Happy Face Killer? He's my father. It's so good to see you, Missy.

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Happy Face, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount Plus. with a sports book born in Vegas. That's a feeling you can only get with Bet MGM. And no matter your team, your favorite skater, or your style, there's something every NHL fan is going to love about Bet MGM. Download the app today and discover why Bet MGM is your hockey home for the season. Raise your game to the next level this year with Bet MGM, a sports book worth a celly, and an official sports betting partner of the national hockey league. BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. If he comes out and does a dating show or he and Carole Baskin live together like,

you know, well, I was going to pitch him Joe Exotic, Naked and Afraid. He's in this enclosure. It's like three miles across, like, you know, um, some kind of, there's tigers in there and can he survive with no weapons or anything just with his intellect? Can he, can he become the tiger king? And he gets killed. It's what it's just a, we could shoot a pilot in the prison. Okay. Let's do a, we'll do a sizzle. I do like all the pitches though. I just want to talk like that. You a bitch. Cheryl Baskin, she came in here. I can't remember the funniness of the show,

but I remember everyone was into it. The whole Godang country was into it. Well, it was just good for follow-up. Redneck Kevin. Yeah, we just wanted to follow it up. We didn't want to, you know, take sides in any way. I was just curious, you know, so we let our viewers decide. Yeah, he didn't. We let YouTube comments decide, but he didn't really sound like it was the most horrible place in the world. You know, I kind of, he was, had a good attitude about that. You can walk every hour. I guess there's probably lift weights in the yard. I just know from the movies and stuff like that, but it sounds like a low security or minimum security prison. It's not like Rikers Island. I wonder if there was any other famous people in there that do these

mid-level crimes, so they don't really go to the hard prisons and they get sort of scamper. I think P. Diddy and Harvey Weinstein and others are kind of together. What about Sam Bankman, that clown? Yeah, they're all in Rikers Island having lunch together. You're doing Sam, what's up P? It's always like, there's some pretty cool people in here. And then you're like, well, those guys aren't cool. Yeah.

Oh my God. It's so early, Dana. I know. This is wild. You saw our producer's question. Like a pound puppy. All right. What else can we talk early, Dana. This is wild. I know. You saw our producer's question. Like a pound puppy. All right, what else can we talk about, Dana?

We got a lot to cover. We could talk, we're gonna switch gears here. We were, I was just about say, gonna say something about the astronauts until we are interrupted by- I was saying they get, they don't make that much up there, but we're gonna find out about that. Well, I say they should have a stranded addendum to their contract strand.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they will get it now. They'll get a quarter million a month each for every month. Because what happens is without zero gravity that long, I'm not saying specifically their case, and I hope they end up fantastic. You get baby feet because there's no push off with gravity.

So your feet turn into little rolled up soft baby feet. Your heart gets smaller. And I'm hoping that they can build that back up. You grow two to three inches taller. Show me about your- That much? Yeah, that long in space. Cause your spine is never-

Sign me up. Compressed. You'd come out six, two. Let's go. Six, two, smiling. I'll cancel my trip to Turkey where I saw my legs off and had four. Oh, I'll dose that whole thing.

You know what? I say a good pair of boots and confidence is all anybody needs. No way. Good pair. It's not doing enough. Good pair of boots. No, I don't even wear boots.

That's what I should do. We'll talk. Sitting like this. We'll talk later. But those astronauts, yeah, I heard you get taller, but these are other things I didn't know. I didn't know about the baby feet. Baby feet, uh, heart gets a little smaller, but they, you know, another six months. I mean, it is good that Elon got up there now.

Here's again, I, you guys can put your comments in. So Elon Musk says that he was ready to rescue them earlier, but it was completely the Biden administration that sort of stopped that from happening. I don't know if that's true. That's what I heard. So that's kind of interesting. Oh, really?

Let's see, cut to the comments. Give us comments. We'll read some next week. We don't read enough on the air. We'll read some, I read them. And they're usually pretty nice, I said. They're usually pretty good. And then there's a couple get in there.

Couple get in there, sometimes they're just attention seekers. Well, you're gonna get, I don't think anyone has ever gotten a five star consistently on a podcast because there's gonna be some zeros in there. You know what? Fuck these guys, man. You know what I mean? It's just human nature. If it's 5.0, it's fake.

Just go against the grain. But I have a question about podcasts that before we started and other stuff. And I also bought a truck over the break. God, you can't. Good for you. I cannot stop. Can't. I want, I actually kind of want to buy a truck because I sort of live on a farm,

but we'll get to that in a second. I know, my buddy goes, what are you hauling? Like mostly hats and coats. Well, it's just, look, they did a thing and this is not a thing I'm making up. They put a man standing next to just a regular sedan. They put the same man standing next to a pickup truck, and then they did a poll with women and they're like 87% more attracted to the guy standing next to the

pickup truck. Do the math. Yeah, that's what I'm going for. Yeah. Uh, I, but I go and bring it, bring a trailer sometimes to get trucks. I go all over. I go on Instagram. I DM these people, these sites.

Once you get on, I'm, I'm into cars. So I get it like old, it's always old. Well, what was it? It was trucks from the seventies, these old F-250s. I had dinner with a guy last night whose favorite car is the Camino, or is it called the El Camino from the sixties? That's sort of like the first kind of a flatbed truck,

but also kind of, So those are those. And he collects them. It was like, has one 1965 loves it. You know who drives an El Camino? You'll never guess. Juan Corona. Markey in Busboys, my character. Oh, see, you knew and I knew and I didn't know that ahead of time, folks.

This is not rehearsed. You didn't know that. That was a good, that was a good. I did not know that, but I kind of figured that you would be a Camino guy. El Camino. I think John Stamos used to have an El Camino. You should have, is your character called Joe Dirt,

but you never referred to it? That would have been funny. No, it's funny that Joe Exotic brought up Joe Dirt, so I can see that. Busboys has some similarities that I am ready for already. It's really underdog stuff. You know what I mean? So there's, there's themes in movies. The greatest.

Salmon does a lot of that. It was back in the Caddyshack days and stuff. It was called snobs versus slobs. And it's the blue collar people versus the elite. And yeah, Adam does that in happy Gilmore. He's got the nemesis is all Ivy league and Sandler's like, I don't live in a garbage can and just hits the shit out. Lives in a garbage can.

Well, you know, it's just the crazy clothes and he steps up to it. Like he's a baseball player. I mean, it's incredibly charming. And water boy was another brilliant example of the, you know, the guy who has nothing going on, but he can tackle harder than any human. Yeah. It's good if you're extra tough too. Yeah. I don't know how tough I am in Busboys. But I will say, okay, so I was telling you about a truck. Bring a trailer. I will say it's very, it's getting more complicated to buy. It used to be click click, bye bye, bing bing. They should make it a lot easier honestly because people would buy more quicker.

Well who vets? It's still good. Are they vetted? I mean do you go look at them and kick the tires so to speak? The problem with the new world of buying stuff is it moves quickly. I started Barrett-Jackson, I used to go to that in Arizona. And then it's once a year and you walk around, you look at them. The days of actually driving to meet someone in the Safeway parking lot, and then you sit in the car and you drive it around. Yeah. They're not over, but it's also a little more dangerous, but you really have to know what you're doing because most of the cars bought now are for me, are online

auction or bring a trailer or bear it. And, uh, you don't sit in them and you don't drive them. And that's the two things you really need to do. Yeah. I think that would be very important. Fucking neck and you sit like this. So if you do that, you need to do it. So sometimes I go sit in one of that type.

So I kind of know what I'm getting and drive it. And then if I get a really good version of that kind of car, then I'll have the right car. And are the sellers rated like a Uber driver, like trustworthy? You can look online to get that. Sometimes I'm bringing trailer, they have a comment section during the seven day auction and it's 90% like mechanics and car people. So there's a, can you check the phalange on that and show me a close up? I think there might be something a little itchy about it.

And then they really like troubleshoot it almost for you. But this is getting too boring. Other than that, I will say, I saw, go ahead. Do you have follow up? Oh, I just wanted to say that, you know, trucks and this and that and motorcycles, but you see a guy with a truck. It's like, okay, cool. You know, and then it don't got no muffler. And so it just starts it up and it feels like the car is saying, I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man. Yeah. If you can't start the car, it's like, I'm impotent.

I can't get it up. So that's not good. You want it to vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv I can do more of a jet ski. How long? Stop doing that. There's water in it. Is that bad one? No, it's just, it's funny. That is if it triggered me. Oh, motorcycle.

Bah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I've been doing a character called sound effecty. You know, walks across the grass.

We've done this before. Brrr. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Jesus, that's the grass. Opens the car door. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr windshield wipers with no rain. With no rain, it's like this.

You turn them off and then about 10 minutes later, ah, ah, ah, ah. You go, oh, fuck, are these still going? The fucking intermittent man, you're like, oh, this is good. Then it starts to pour. You go back to full tilt and then you go down. It's a fucking brain twister.

I don't need this shit. It's a game. I can't win. Here's the world's worst sound effect comedian. Walk across the grass. Ear, ear, ear. Open the door. Ear, ear, ear. Adjust the rear view mirror.

Ear, ear, ear. He's terrible. He has one effect. That's not bad. You're the king of that. Come on now, king. All right. Okay. So one quick thing about podcast.

I got a new name for Gavin Newsom's. Oh, because you know what Trump calls him. What does he call him? He calls it and he says it in a throwaway. He doesn't even emphasize it. Gavin Newscombe. Gavin Newscombe is coming up. Oh, yeah doesn't even emphasize it, Gavin Newscombe. Gavin Newscombe is coming up. Oh yeah, he calls him Newscombe.

Gavin Newscombe. He's got a podcast where he- Yeah, yeah. I don't know. But- What does he do? I guess they take calls to see how much to raise our taxes. But this is the name, ready?

I can't believe it was right there for him. Gavin Newscombe. Gavin Newsom. Gavin Newsome. Gavin. Gavin. I'll say here's a new nickname, almost like a rapper's name. I'm calling the human pivot.

Cause he's come out against men playing in women's sports. It's a little shaky for a Democrat. And he's also had, I think Charlie Kirk, which is a famous, uh, podcaster who's conservative on his show. So I I'm calling him the human pivot. He's he's pivoting to the center for 2028, 2020, 2028. You got to get right down that middle. So he's going to run for president.

Is that the idea? Oh my God. They're all, they all want to be president. Every single politician at one point was probably president of the senior class. And then they want to be power position. Jesus. But once you go on the Oval Office with the president, you go, really? This numbskull is this knucklehead is the president or about who it is.

You meet Biden. I'm going to meet the president of the United States. Mommy, he's not like I thought he'd be. All right. Let's get to the big stories of the day. Okay. Keep doing Biden. We'll get to the big stories. I'm being serious.

Okay. Big stories. Here we go. Wait. Oh, Starbucks. Ordered to pay. This drives me crazy. I saw this story.

50 million to a guy burned by hot tea. Now, if it burns your wiener, I'm all in, but it always feels excessive because let's say at the drive-through window, the girl gives it to him and it spills, if it is not your wiener, I have a very, very strong stance. If it's your legs, third degree burns. How many people would take third degree burns for on their legs or a million dollars? I bet almost everyone would take, no, not everyone.

A lot of people would take a million dollars. But 50? That what I would say it was right. The faces melted and then it matriculates to, as you call it, the wiener. Peeling skin off, screaming, and maybe crash your car. And do they really get 50 million? Isn't it kind of like a thing? Well, look at the bottom. They ordered to pay 50 million. I don't know. Wow, it seems like.

It's been ordered to pay 50 million dollars in a burn injury case out of LA County, the jury delivered that verdict against Starbucks. She's very serious. She looks like Julie Bowen. That happened in February of 2020. Okay, here we are. Video shows an employee handing a ray of hot drinks, including hot tea at the drive-through,

but a cup was unsecured and it then fell into the lap of plaintiff Michael Garcia. He suffered third degree burns to his genitals. The jury found Starbucks liable for his injuries. Starbucks issued a statement disagreeing with the jury's decision. Yeah, once you get the genitals, the grossest word.

And says it plans to appeal. Well, were they curable? I mean, my graph team, let's get deep into this. Could they have made everything all good again down there? People will still do it. Take away my genitals. I'm not using them anymore. Take away, give me three million.

How much for your genitals? I know, then you go, what would blow for your genitals? It's hard not to sound drunk saying the word genitals. Your honor, your honor, I just want to say to the court that is genitals, have you been drinking, sir? You sound like you're drunk. It is a sexy word. I like when girls go, let's see them genitals.

I go. You have a, I'm sort of fantastic. You have a testicular imagination. It's testicular. It's a testicular. Let's see, another thing I have, Dane, I have a lot to say about this. The poor girl I just saw, I thought the guy wasn't close enough to the window. I'm gonna play it again like this is a Pruder film. So he had to do a big.

Because she, he also made a stipulation that from now on, they offered him, oh, they offered him 30 million. And he said, no. He said, I'll take 30 as a settlement if they make every employee screw on the cup or make a new way to do it for the tops to make them secure. Right. And they said no. And so they risked it, but they had to pay 50. But watch this, this poor girl trying to bust her out,

make her living, working hard. Look how far that car is. Yeah. Am I crazy? It looked from our angle a bit far. Look how far she's full plank, sticking her arm out. The thing they don't tell you is this. Genitals?

Something like this happened. Genitals? Something like this happened. Genitals? 47 times a day at Starbucks worldwide. So they're paying 50 million a day and that's why the stock market is being cruel to them. Here's my thing that I always ask. What would blow the jury away? Did they get in there and some guy goes,

fuck Starbucks, I say we give them 80 million. And they're like, are you nuts? 80. I say we give 60. That's insane. Finally, they get to the guy going, how about 50? That's more like it. That's, that's a nice.

Now we're talking. Now we're talking. That's reasonable. Yeah. His head screwed on. This is 50 feels good. I listen, I know Starbucks is rich. Okay.

But that poor girl is going to get fired. Those jobs are tough too, by the way, just like lying on them up. Anyway, we're on this story too long. Yeah. At third, Heather's stretching and I know when she stretches, that means next. Oh, when she, yeah, she starts doing yoga. Yeah. Okay.

That was 20 minutes on that one. Yoga. Look at this transition. Oh, Bill Belichick and Jordan Hudson Beach Day. Okay. So Bill Belichick, the famous coach and his- That's him. His girlfriend, he's 73, she's 23, just have to say it. They're on their backs, both of them? No, I don't understand. Where's Bill? Look at in the second picture, he's on his back. It looks like his legs go straight all the way to the knee. Looks like a grasshopper. Oh, shit. He's on his back and she's sitting on his feet.

Yeah. That better not be in her genitals. I don't know what to make of this yet. Now, that's on her hip bones, but it looks a little too much like, hey, dad, put me up, you know, what I think is I'm all for them having a slight age gap. I don't care about it. She's three, he's 500. Now that's fine. But I will say he, to me, he was the once absolutely no attention coach out of just regular coaches. Every press conference, moving on to Clayville, the next one, you know, and she's an influencer. So we see who won in this combo.

He was called the grumpy lobster man because he wore this cutoff sweatshirt when he was a coach. Oh yeah, that's right. A man of few words. And now he's got this high flying, sexually charged influencer. She's actually charged. She weighs probably 115 pounds. So he can at least squat that it's a reverse squat. I find this curious. Am I disturbed?

The strongest Dana will say is curious. I'm saying, I don't know what to make of him. If she's of age to consent, I don't know. Listen, she's weighs 115. Even with my carry under wood legs, I could toss her across that beach in two seconds. I'm strong, my legs are strong. Right, and in the comments they say she calls him daddy.

Daddy, minimum daddy. No granddaddy, no grandpa, no. No, Heather, I'm coming back and I'm putting my hat back on. God bless them all. All right. My hair is not great today, Dan, and we're not going to over talk about it. I got up at 5 a.m. to work on this, so it looks like I'm not trying. This shit show?

I like this show today, it's fun. I don't want to be identified as being in this time and place with you, Scarlett Johansson on why she refuses to take photos with fans in public. Now, this is a great subject because first of all, we'll start with we all love Scarlett Johansson. She is amazing. Super sweet. Known her off and on over the years. Very cool. Always friendly. Yeah. I talked to her a lot when I was in New York. Yeah, the 50th we did, she was in a sketch. It wasn't like we were in it together.

She actually came up to me at one of the parties and she just had her hair up and was dressed different and she's smaller than you'd think because she plays, you know, superstar heroes. And she's talking to me for 10 minutes. And then I finally went, oh, oh, you're Scarlett Joy. I didn't know. Yeah. I thought she was. But that shows she's quite unassuming for being a stunner.

But she did Suddenly E-Bike, Heather, remember? Suddenly E-Bike. That was on the 50th. But the interesting big question is, what do you do with fans that want pictures? on the 50th, but the interesting big question is, what do you do with fans that want pictures? And she really, I think it's ballsy that she comes out and says she doesn't take pictures in public. She'll take them, I think on a red carpet or at an event

when it's work about the movie. But she's trying to have a regular life and this rubs people wrong and some people it rubs right. And some people it rubs their genitals. But this is- There's a whole lot of rubbing going on. Yeah, okay, here's what else she says. I like to be in my own thoughts that have nothing to do

with what other people think of me. I don't like being self-conscious. It is true, Dana, you know this, whenever you take a picture, you go, don't even want to say it's bad lighting, I don't want to say I look like shit today because they always go, no you don't, you look great, who cares? It's just give me that motherfucking picture. I don't care anything. I'm like, I've got blood on my face, I've got an actual live bloody nose, just take it, it's fine, You look great. So I get, I get just,

I was with a famous person who wouldn't take pictures. We were hanging out. No, you take, you're very nice. Well, I'm too nice. I mean, Scarlett Johansson is different. She's a movie star. She's in Marvel movies. She's globally famous.

Yes. And here's, here's what I want to add to this, which I really discourage, is that now sometimes people will then just start taking video of you. You're walking down the street without permission. And they'll make a TikTok out of it. Scarlett Johansson looks sad or whatever. So looks sad. Why is she so bummed today? Most people are looking at paparazzi and make that face because they just realized the fun's over. There's someone following them and filming them.

So they go, ooh, they weren't in a good mood today. It's like, well, yeah, they just saw you. So why are they chipper? And the problem is that someone like that or really big famous people, obviously Brad Pitt or whatever, they start doing that. They draw a crowd and then they may be there for an hour. It's literally logistically impossible. The thing that I would do, and maybe people do it and we don't know, but you can get a prosthetic nose,

which changes a face so radically that just sort of almost just goes right on like that and walk around invisible. And I bet people do that. Sure. And they run. And you don't know it. And then you don't know it. They walk amongst us. Heather, the place where I get my prosthetic wieners, will you see if they have noses? Thanks.

On it. Dana also, she's very pretty and she's always getting attention for being pretty anyway like Zendaya. Do you add in famous? And it's too much chaos. I do think that men on the horny, inappropriate side, predatory side, obviously it's bigger than women being predatory the other way, although it happens. I mean, I often thought that why do women chase pop stars?

Like the Beatles used to get 300 women chasing them, but if they'd stopped and turned around, the women wouldn't, they would have stopped. Women have a different kind of lane for what we call creeps. Sure. And she's- Exponentially worse. Especially your play. She plays a leading actress, the very attractive femme fatale in the movie, and this can get people crazy. So I have a lot of empathy.

They just want to be artists. They did not plan on what was going to happen. And just try to respect them. When I was a kid, and when I first saw a famous person, I didn't go up to them. I could just tell. I saw Michael Landon from Bonanza in a restaurant, and I got, no, I'm not gonna go over.

You can just sort of tell they'd rather be left alone. My first one, my first instinct was, you owe me. You owe me. I know. And then I go and rub their genitals. When we were in Fantasy Springs, Dana, you were very, remember we went to dinner, we get a lot of, that was our own fault.

We ate at, when you work at the same place where you're doing a show, it draws attention obviously. I never do that. Because we eat there. We ate there. I have to say, like, I don't really have a face and I've told people this before. It's very benign. If I'm like this and I change my lower jaw to Mickey Rourke, no one sees me. To Waterboy? So I can walk around. But with David with the

trucker hat, what's up everybody? It's like walking around Disneyland with a guy dressed as Mickey Mouse. I mean everyone, you are fine my ass, but you're very nice to your fans. You're casual. We were nice in the airport. We're nice to everybody. Yeah. But we took, I was saying, we were taking so many pictures. The funniest thing is at dinner, I never do this. I hate, I know. And I don't want to bring any attention to you, but can I climb on your shoulders? Just for one second. It is funny when you're in mid-bite, excuse me, I hate to do this. We were like this. I'm like, oh. And they're like, and then one lady was just standing there because people kept coming up.

One stood back. So I said, I was eating and I go, are you bringing us backstage? I go, we're almost done. We're going to pay up. And she's like, okay. And then when I went over to her, she goes, can I get a picture? I go, aren't you, don't you work here? And she goes, eh. Well, one came up- Why are you standing?

I had a big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs with extra sauce and I heard, I hate to do this. So I just dove my face into the spaghetti and meatballs and I turned and it was just dripping off my face. She goes, you're not Dan Agarfo. So- Yeah, you're Carrie from the movie. Look up master disguise.

And one of the first scenes where my character, Pistachio, spills spaghetti and meatballs on the people all over their faces. And they're frozen like cartoon characters. We never show clips. If we could show a clip, that'd be awesome. No, we can't. I couldn't have shed you today.

My own movie? All right, one more. Okay. Well, I don't know. We today. My own movie? All right, one more. Okay. Well, I don't know. We're doing good. It's amazing. Oh. Oh, okay, play this.

Everyone on earth peed into the Grand Canyon. You might think it would fill up in less than two. Oh, if, if. The Grand Canyon can hold about 1.2 quadrillion gallons and the average person pe this a TikTok challenge. So if all 8 billion people pee at the same time, they'd only add about 4 billion gallons of pee. Everyone peed, it wouldn't fill it up.

Everyone on earth is peeing in the Grand Canyon for 800,000 years to fill it up. That's I would have bet the under. Wow. That, that is one big canyon, I'll tell you that. I like how it just starts, it's peeing in the Grand Canyon. And I went, what's this story? I guess it's if everyone peed. This is what, you know, Elon Musk is trying to stop. It was $2 billion to these scientists to figure out if everyone on earth peed, it took them seven years to get the number 800,000 years. Just to be on one TikTok where we all-

You had a study where you said it would take at the entire earth 800,000 years to fill up the Grand Canyon, you got paid to figure that out. Your words, not mine. And you're mad we're cutting that out of the budget? What else are you working on? What's the next one? If everyone pooed in the Mississippi River,

it would take two million years to fill it up with poo on faces. Now, can we have a billion dollars for our study? Yeah. And let me get my puke bucket. If everybody puked into the Grand Canyon, we don't know the answer. Can we get half a million dollars? Your word's not mine.

Your word's not mine. Your P, not theirs. Your study. Is that where all the money is going, the doge is trying to get? I don't know. I'm doging myself, you know? I guess we end on that little fizzler, but... I think so.

That was a fizzy fizzle, but you know, Joe, dirt, two, three. Joe Exotic. Is that what you're talking about? Well, we had Joe Exotic on if you just click toward the end so you can hear more ads. Yeah, if you want the ads. Hey, man, it's called a post-roll. I don't think we have a post-roll. We just say, good night Cleveland. So he fanned out on David.

This should be in the introduction, but that was kind of fun. He really is a fan of yours. I did like hearing about that during one of the few fun things about the pandemic. It was a 15 minute interview. We couldn't see him from some federal penitentiary. No, we tried to get video for people asking. We tried to get video and they said no. And we heard someone behind him go, can I get the phone? I just want to call my mother. I wanted to ask him, is he always nervous of getting beat up or something? I would be worried like someone's out to get you, you know?

Oh, definitely. You got, well, you have to create alliances. You have to get the biggest- So you have a boyfriend. We didn't ask any of this stuff. I know. Well, yeah. We're the worst.

Yeah. Okay. Well, always next time. There's always next time. Thanks everybody. Thanks everybody. And thanks Dana. See you next time. And thanks always next time. Thanks everybody. Thanks everybody. Dana. See you next time and thanks for listening and watching.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it. Mm-hmm