Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #62 - Johnny Carson S*x Life

Episode Date: April 4, 2025

The guys talk Morgan Wallen walking out of the Goodnights at SNL, dislike for the term "short king", earthquakes, a new space mission, and much more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by FX's Dying for Sex on Disney+. Based on the podcast of the same name, Dying for Sex tells the story of Molly, who is diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Determined to feel everything she can before she can't feel anything, she decides to leave her unhappy marriage to explore her sexuality with some encouragement from her best friend Nicky. FX's Dying for Sex, streaming April 4th only on Disney+. Sign up now at DisneyPlus.com.

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We are on Superfly. We're on Superfly. Is anyone still listening? Is anyone still listening? We just show all that beginning because that's more interesting how we both, we are too loud, you're too soft, I can't hear you. What's going on?

Absolutely. What's more interesting? BTS. Yes. People love that. No one wants our polished show. And thank you, I shouldn't say this, for sticking to the script about the pre-planned technical difficulties. Your acting was terrific.

If this acting is in the Bus Boy movie, E5, oh, fum, I smell an Oscar nomination. Shum. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Well, I will say, welcome to Superfly. There's lots to go over. This is a big show, Dana.

That's fly one, but no, it is a good show. I will say, I was going through the YouTube comments, some people, now they know we go through, so they get a little spicy in there. Most people. Oh, they try to rile you up. No, they rile me up when they go like this. They don't like some story, some angle we took,

and they go, stay in your lane, boys. I'm so, I don't give a fuck. What, stay in your lane on the free show you're getting? They go, just stick to more jokes. And I'll keep peeping it. I go, your free show isn't going the way you want. Are you okay? How about we do it every one?

I know, and I, it does not sound like, you know, the real Jerry Seinfeld. It does not. I believe that someone using the name, spelling it with two Ys or something. Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, you think that's Jerry commenting? I don't think it is, but I see sometimes,

I'll see comments that it's Jerry Seinfeld or Tim Dillon or it's, you know, and I go, these are fake outs. Jerry's not, stay in the lane. It's not gonna, stay in the lane. It's not gonna help. Stay in the lane. No, I will say, sometimes if you get crabby on the comments, don't cry too hard,

because you get tears in your iPhone, you have to put it in rice. Sorry. You have to put it in rice, and then you punch somebody because you're so frustrated, then you have to put that in the rice. You need two bowls of rice. God, talk about frustrated, Dana. I'll tell you one quick story that will bore the shit out of you.

Okay, and then I've got five bits right out of you. I'm floated. I'm staying in my lane. If you can get through this bitless story, I'm just saying, sometimes I go on the Daily Mail, which is also, my friend refers to as the Daily Nailed, because they always just bust people doing stuff. It is funny.

Daily Mail is, you know, lighthearted garbage. I mean, it's really nothing. It's a ruthless robot driven algorithm and they will do the most, the most kind of click on it. And then they ask for your email. They have this little thing that says M on a thing. And then you have to start getting involved with the algorithms.

Like, no, no, let me say something. They're gonna ask you all about women sexually. Okay, you got me. Boom. Yeah, listen, you just wanna click on some cute little story about Meghan Markle like tripping on a fire hydrant. You're like, I got some free time, I'll click on that, sure. But they're all like, this person puts on a leggy display,

you know, those kind of things. This busty blonde. Cheeky display. Yeah, cheeky display, I think it's from a year or whatever. Her pert bottom. Right, so a bunch of culmination dumb stories. That's fair. I'm sure they would say it the same way. I think that's fair, I think you're culmination of dumb stories. That's fair.

I'm sure they would say it the same way. I think that's fair. I think you're in your lane so far. You're in your lane. Stay in your lane, Spade. Don't you go after Daily Mail. I'm not. I watch this garbage.

And believe me, I take the time to click the Xs because there's 500 ads on the side. They pop in your face. They click, they block something. I'm just trying to dodge bullets so I can hear one crummy story. So anyway, now they say every third story is like, this is Daily Mail Plus.

I'm sorry, what's that? You can't read it unless you give us a buck 99. That's what I was talking about. You put it better, yeah. You jumped ahead. Yeah, I jumped all over your bit. So what's the funny part? There's no real bit.

It's just saying like, I don't have an extra $1.99 to give it. I like free garbage. I don't want to pay for it. Look, here's the thing. You can go on that thing. It's what they call a guilty pleasure. I don't know who thought of that,

why you'd be guilty. The reason you look at TMZ and these sites is because once in a while, because they don't give a shit, they got a team of lawyers. Daily Mail has 10 million reporters around the world, just regular people. Here's 500 bucks. And once in a while, they get it right.

And they jump regular media. And that's why you look at it. Once in a while, they said two weeks ago, Trump's gonna do tariffs and crash the global economy. So I clipped on it, you know, they predicted it. Right. I will say that it's like Dumois. There's ones that Dumois did the smart thing where they go, hey, everyone's a personal paparazzi.

So rat out everyone you see at all times and there will be no where to hide in the world. So that worked, because then people do that. But then they run into some legalities, but, you know, overall, it's the same thing. So, Daily Mail, I'm here to protest the $1.99. They get, there's so many ads and so many things in there, you're making it killing, you're making it so hard

to read and watch already. And now every third story there, you're making it killing. You're making it so hard to read and watch already. And now every third story about, you know, Prince Harry, yesterday he might have been wearing a bucket hat, did he buy it or not? Click here. And I'm like, all right, and then it's like, don't try, no, no, no, no, don't try to get the free story. I'm not gonna click on bucket hat.

Will I, would I want to click on it? Am I fascinated by what that guy gets on that ginger cranium? Yes. Am I gonna click on it? Let me tell you this. The entire thing is written by AI robots, i.e. Albert. So they had a meeting. You can do one of the voices, I'll do one of the AI voices.

How much should we charge for Daily Mail Plus? 99 cents? D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-le-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-de a release bucket next to me when I'm watching Daily Mail in case I get one on deck. What did Wayne's World say? What would Wayne say? If you hurl, then I'm gonna spew. If you spew, I'll get my pew bucket. Yeah. But I'll tell you what. Human beings were ready for the wheel.

They were ready for fire. They were ready for the printing press. They were ready for fire. They were ready for the printing press. They were ready for electricity. They were ready maybe even for nuclear power. But are they ready for robot driven AIs brainwashing us into rage and anger? Cause if it outrageous, it's contagious. And I'm staying in my lane. Well, I'm glad you're reminding yourself

to stay in your lane. But... Well, I think that's the name of a podcast, the most boring podcast. We stay in our lane. Hi, we're staying in our lane. Hi, it was sunny today. What is our lane? They're like, just do your dopey jokes. Well, I know that we seem as if, uh,

it's entertaining enough that we have a script that we're reading from on the computer, but believe it or not, you know, right now as much as we know about what we're going to say next, we have no idea. We have no idea, but I'm going to do robots. You want comedy, hire robots. I'm going to do it. Boring. Yeah. Then you want boring. That's us. That's us.

Stay in our line. All right, so I get comments on my, do red, redneckies. So I wrote two 10 minutes ago. They're not very good, but they're red, redneckie, the redneck comedian. He's been gone for a while, red, redneckie. Yeah, he's still around.

And these are not my best jokes, but at least I'm doing them. Sure. He's a gone for a while, Red, Red, and Nikki. Yeah, he's still around. And these are not my best jokes, but at least I'm doing them. And he's a comedian and jokes, his jokes maybe aren't the best jokes. Okay, here we go. Let's try one. I'm gonna see if I can get a smile out of David. Not too much pressure. I'm Red, Red, and Nikki, the Redneck comedian. My mom said, Red, only bleach will get the skid marks out of your underpants.

I said, do what you gotta do, Mom, because I need my Tattie Waddes before the Sadie Hawkins dance come a get some. Let's go to the judges, Heather. What do you think? Does she know what Sadie Hawkins is? Oh, she does, okay. It just felt funny. It just makes no sense. It sounds funny. Yeah, I like it. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, It's on. So he asked the girl to the dance and then he thinks his underpants will come off?

We're going back one. We're going back. Cause yeah, okay. I'll read it slowly like a professor. Okay. Okay. Let's break it down like we're in a class. My mama said, red, that's her nickname for her son,

only bleach will get the skid marks out of your underpants. That's the setup. I got that part. I said, do what you gotta do, mama. It should be mama. But I need my Tidy Whites back in time for the Sadie Hawkins dance, come and get some. Okay, Tidy Whites is a funny term for a little underpants.

I said underpants first, skid marks. That's funny. And then Tidy Whites. Skidder marks is funny. And our computer says. Okay lot of underpants. I said underpants first. That's funny. And then tidy whitey. Skitterbarks is funny. And our computer says. Okay, do an assist. I need a better payoff. I need my tidy whiteys back for.

Sadie Hawkins is just not doing it. In case I get in a car crash. I need my tidy whiteys back in case I shit my pants. Yeah, because in a car crash, they say a lot of people shit their pants or wear clean underpants. Mama, I do not want to take a dump in my Tidy Watties if they got skid marks on them. I need fresh tracks.

Jeez, that might be a little lengthy, but yeah. I'm getting a smile. No, I like it. I like the breakdown behind the scenes of Red Red Necky. So, daddy says, help me change the tire. I said, why? You've got four flats. And the dad, well damn, Red, it's that power of observation is gonna help you go far. So that's that.

Well, first of all, it's good he's talking to both parents. There's a lot of communication. Yeah. And so the dad is teaching him life lessons. And that's good. He notices four flats. Yeah. And I can't beat my classics. Like what's for dinner daddy? I said, daddy, what's for dinner? He said, shit on a shingle.

I said, this day just keeps getting better and better. Come on, get some. They should be like that. That's one of the best ones. That's one of the greatest jokes. Of all time. The best one was the first one. And it's a little out in the lane, but he said,

I'm Red, Red Necky, the Redneck comedian. I met my sister only because mama turned me down, come and get some. I married my sister, yeah. I agree. That one is top 10. That's top five. All right. I know it's exhausting. I was in Sun Valley. I did a couple, Carson. Getting pulled over for drunk driving. When you said last week,

wait, last week you said you were in Ketchum, and I didn't know if everyone knew that Ketchum was probably a beautiful city in Idaho? It's in Idaho, it's next to Sun Valley, and I'd seen the name Ketchum, but Sun Valley has, you know, it's like Valhalla, it's all the celebrities and all the gorgeousness. And I assume that Ketchum would be a shithole.

But I got to Ketchum and it's gorgeous. And then I started reading up on the history of Ketchum. And it was about... Crooks and thieves would rob the bank in Winamucka, Nevada, go up north into Ketchum, and it was about... Crooks and thieves would rob the bank in Winnemucke, Nevada, go up north into Ketchum in Sun Valley to hide out. And this one sheriff was so persnickety and so persistent, he would get a posse and chase the bad guys

up into the town of Ketchum. But in that day, it was just Sun Valley. And he goes, folk, they go, hey, hey, hey, sheriff, I don't think the town to catch him. But in that day, it was just Sun Valley. And he goes, Faux, they go, hey, hey, Sheriff, I don't think we're gonna catch him. Let's go back to Winamucca. He says, we gotta catch him. You kidding? We're gonna catch him if it's the last thing we do.

In fact, I'm calling this part of Sun Valley, catch him. Geez, we're stumbling back into a Red Rennecke joke. I can't. You go to catch him? Geez, is this, we're stumbling back into a Red Rennecke joke. You go to Ketchum? You got skid marks in Ketchum? So, that's how Ketchum came up. These bandits weren't chasing, if not had a bathroom break in 400 miles. You can bet they got skid marks.

Yeah, thank you. This is a running theme. All right. I can switch to Carson because Carson killed so hard in Catch'em that I... Oh, I love it. And I don't know if I've done this one on our show. Okay. Okay. I like the name. I don't think I can top this name. Well, first I'll do a warm-up one. Okay. Okay.

Sorry, officer. I didn't know I was swerving. I had a triple whiskey sour at banana dance. Okay, I like banana dance. Banana dance, right? This is the one that won the day. Catch him. Won the day. Sorry, officer. I didn't know I was swerving. I had a double leaky giraffe at the desperate sponge. I'm laughing.

Heather's drifting off, but Heather, oh, she can't hear that well. She can't hear that. Oh, you can't hear Dana at all. She can't hear me at all? Then that's, we gotta get her a microphone. That's tampering your jokes a little bit. She laughs at all your jokes.

But I saw you, I got a big smile at one of the great comedians. I laugh at it because, what was the sponge? Was it a desperate sponge? Well, desperate sponge. Yeah. I had a leaky giraffe. Those are hard to come up with.

You can do those wrong because desperate sponge is funny to me. I don't think I can top desperate sponge. I've got a lot of feedback on it. This is for anybody who wants to leave in the comments. We started out slippery monkeys at the Hook and Crook, two frozen soldiers at the windy summit. But now we have, you know, a double-deckery vodka

up with a twist at the Desperate Sponge. Desperate Sponge is like, damn. How do you beat it? First of all, he's saying it like Carson is 88% of it. And then you just have to have a little funny puncher at the end, funny name. Yeah, because it's some way of tapping into 1970s, Carson's pulled over that the drink places and the drinks,

they send Carson to AA and he says, I had a desperate sponge and I had a leaky giraffe. Do you have a drinking problem? I think you have a language problem. There's no cocktail really involved. A lot of those places are closed now. I haven't heard of any of them. I've never been to any of those places.

The windy summit is still there. Yeah, they're shutting down so many things. But Carson went to AA and he goes, I had a, I had a... I had a, uh... I had a, uh, two slippery monkeys, NA, at the Desperate Sponge. I have a real question in a lot of my lane, but was Carson a sex addict?

Yes. Have you heard that? I like that answer. I know a lot of things. I know someone who dated Johnny Carson for a year when he was 25. When she was, he was 55, she was 25. He said she had a slippery nipple. Slippery nipple. He said, you know, look, I don't know if this is true.

I don't want him to get sued, but he liked poppers, amyl nitrate. Yeah, take some of this and you'll come like a banshee. Now I gotta laugh. Yeah, you're getting into the out of your lane.'ll come like a banshee. Now I gotta laugh. Yeah, you're getting into the out of your lane. I'm getting out of my lane. I'm being blue and scatological today. Let's go to clean stuff. Are you crushing your bills? Defeating your monthly payments. Sounds like you're at the top of your financial game.

Rise to it with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card. The credit card that rewards your good financial habits. Earn points for paying your credit card bill in full and on time every month. Level up from bill payer to reward slayer. Terms and conditions apply. Some people follow the rules, but where's the fun in that? I'm Sereya and this is Rule Breakers, the podcast where we celebrate the rebels, the misfits, and the ones who make their own way. Every week I sit down with the biggest rule breakers in sports, entertainment, and beyond to talk about the wildest moments, toughest lessons,

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crumble. Pair it with our new garlic bread and a refreshing peach lemonade quencher for a meal that just hits. Order on the Tim's app today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. We can go to the headlines, but what else you got? I have one more thing. I checked in with my good friend, the one and only Lauren Michaels and Lauren. And I want to talk about the good night incident with you in a second. Oh yeah, that's right. But with, with Lauren, as you know, he's become very interested

in the Lively-Baldini thing. But I just wanted to talk to him about last week's show and who's he got coming up in April. So, Lauren, how are you coming? So, he texted back. I think that Lively will probably settle because I think Baldini's got the upper hand. And I texted, yeah, but who's the host coming up?

Lively's team thinks that his Baldini's claims will be debunked immediately. Yeah, but I mean, in May, are you have any guests? I can. It's set to go to trial in March. I think it'll get nastier until it gets less nastier. Right, but any musical guests we should know about or any reunions? Um, it's a classic sexual harassment group. I think the evidentiary proof is there

if you want to present it in court. He seems like he's not even answering what you're asking. Are you going to ask? I know, it seems like he's ignoring my text. Are you gonna go to Amagansett this summer? Um, Reynolds also has a counter suit that's going to come in. And both of you will have to defend on both sides. Sometimes when he texts me, he put,

I'm not believing what RR is saying. I'm like, is that Ryan Reynolds? Obviously. This is the kind of thing that if you like it, you like it. If you don't, you like... Right now, a lot of... What percentage of people Obviously. This is the kind of thing that if you like it, you like it, if you don't, you like. Right now a lot, what percentage of people listening to us are right now ironing a shirt? Probably 18 to 20.

Let's see some hands. Yeah. Yeah. Phones are lighting up. Okay, I have a couple more. I have one last one, the Japanese guy in earthquake. Oh, cause you just got served that on a plate last week because there was an earthquake. But he got his building got retrofitted.

He retrofitted his building. He's a little cockier on the phone. He's always, he's always... Uh, retrofit. No, no, no. So, hey, hey, wait. Yeah, retrofit. Uh, not about that.

Uh, what's up? What's up? Retrofit. Uh, not about that. What the? What's the word? Retrofit. Here it comes. Retrofit, Retrofit. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Retrofit, Retrofit. Uh, you okay for earthquake?

Retrofit? Retrofit! You need both hands? Retrofit! Retrofit! Retrofit! And steam. I can't, you know what I have to do David? No, the problem is you have to use two hands for that bit. The thing that you have, you have an arm.

The next time you see me on this mic, I'm gonna have an arm because I'm doing too many act outs and I don't have a hand. It's too much. I couldn't talk on the phone. I have Retrofit, no problem. I go, Retrofit. With standard mic, you problem. I go, do do do, retrofit. We standard, like, you know, so. Sorry about that.

You need like Heather to come there and shake the bit, like shake the computer. Yeah, Heather can be my sidekick, my puppeteer. All right, so the Morgan wall, and we'll put this to bed. It's a big story this week. Biggest story in history. We're the final word on it because between the two of us, we've been to about 300 good nights.

Yeah. Okay. So, first of all, let's break down the good nights. Do you enjoy the good nights? Cause he just walked off. The good nights are the part of the show where you hear the do-do-do-do-do. Yeah. Like Cheryl, whoever it was, whoever it is now.

Very melancholy. Play a piano, it means we're out of show, but we've got about 45 seconds to get everyone on the stage. Say good night. You mention the host, you thank any special guests, you thank the music, and then you thank the cast, and then they do the credits and everyone hugs or whatever they do, right? And depending on the length of the show,

the good night could be longer. Oh, yeah, people don't know that. It expands or contracts. If they couldn't fit in a sketch, and we've got it, okay, we're gonna have a fucking three-minute good night. Yeah, exactly. The band keeps playing.

So then you, There's strategies. You can die in a vine out the good nights, because if it's three minutes, then you don't know it. So here's what happens. Now, he's just like, see you later. I don't know. He walks right into the fucking A camera. Half the cast members have COVID, and he just got it. But, look, good nights,

if it was canceled, would you be sad? I mean, I know, Lorne's a genius, you gotta have it, the audience loves it. I don't mind it, yeah. But, you know, the strategy of like this, if you're new, if you have a nose for the lens, your parents are watching, you wanna get up front, but you don't wanna look like a greedy whore.

So you hang in the back and wait for your moment. What I did when I was there in the fall doing Biden, whoops. Go ahead. I would take a cast member or I took Alec Baldwin or I took a cast member and I put my arm around him, bring him up front and then turn him this way and that way. I did it with, you know, Heidi or Ashley. Different cast. To show them off?

Well, so that they don't have to be hungry for the, just have their mom and dad. Lens. And then I'd ask them, I go, my mom and dad loved it. What you want is the host to immediately turn around and do a beeline towards you and give you a huge hug on camera. That's the ideal situation as a cast member.

But the host doesn't know what to do either. They don't know how much time they have. So they're just killing time and vamping. And then they're kind of eyeballing the monitor going, are we still going? So hug, hug, hug, kiss, kiss, kiss, you were great. Hug, more hugs, more hugs. I try to stay in the back row.

We've talked about this. If I was light in the show, I didn't deserve. A lot of times I wouldn't go to the good nights because I wasn't in the show. So I'm like, I don't, I shouldn't be up there. So that was my personal argument with myself. And... Yeah, well, I almost, well, I shouldn't really say this,

but this guy is an incredibly nice guy. Brilliant songwriter and performer, Shaboosie. Shaboosie? What's his name? Shaboosie. Shaboosie came up and he's such a big person that he picked me up.

And then he got a, someone pulled him a chair. He got me on my lap like I was a marionette. And I... Yeah, you're a puppet. I was a puppet and he... I was too far ahead of him. Dude, Jacuzzi, when I saw him backstage, he was great.

I thought it was Derek Henry. He's the hugest, coolest looking stud. I wanted him to, I wanted to be friends with him so I could walk around with him. With the gentlest, nicest personality. He doesn't wear his, you know, he looks like an NBA forward or something. Like his size of man is like,

I don't know, 6'9", 2'16". And then he's... Yeah, I don't even know if he knew me, because I walk by and he goes, what's up, pussy? And I go... Was he the music guest when you did Hunter Biden? Yeah. Okay, so maybe he picked both of us up,

and we were both sitting on a... Yeah, he put me in his hand like Stuart Little. (*LAUGHTER*) At the good nights. Stuart Little was huge for me in the fourth grade. Don't hit me with Stuart Little. Is Stuart Little the mouse or somebody holding him? The little mouse would get in a little pea pod and go down a river.

Jeez, it was so fucking amazing. He made a pea pod, a canoe? Yeah. Stuart Little could do anything. It's pretty inventive. And they float, I guess I should. They float and they go down. I don't wanna troubleshoot the Stuart Little too hard.

You were probably in fourth grade in the yellow book or the red book. You were still trying to figure out how to say C-spot run probably. Oh my God, I've never been so insulted. Were you in the blue book? You're not in your lane, dude. Were you in the blue book? What's blue in your lane, dude. Were you in the blue book?

What's blue book? Does that mean there was a series of books where you got smarter, you got different colors? I felt bad because my brothers had dyslexia. So in third grade, they were in the red books. There's the red, the yellow, green, and then blue. And then this secret society with the purple book. Is that the smart people? Super IQ.

I went in there and they had a huge picture of you as a four year old. I'm like black and white photo. I was like, what the fuck is that guy? No joke. Me and the Vietnamese kid used to walk down to fourth grade reading and math when I was second grade. So I don't want to over talk about that.

But I will say this, to try to get some action, this was a panty dropper. We would do our times tables and you get like, you get like a sheet, eight times 756, nine times 981. You know, you just go through them, but I was good at times tables. So you get them and they go, teacher goes, just do it as fast as you can whenever, no rush, you know, it's not a contest.

It was 100% a contest for me, the only thing I could win. So I would do it, and you're just supposed to gently turn it over and wait for the class. I would finish it and go like this. And then I go, ah. Beep ba ba, rat-tat-tat.

What's everybody doing this weekend? Oh, should I not talk? Are we not, is everyone not done? Oh, so I shouldn't talk? Oh, shh. Oh, people are still doing it. Oh, literally every other person is still doing it. Okay, shh.

I've just been, teacher's like, shut the fuck up. I'm like, no, I know, I just didn doing it. Oh, literally every other person is still doing it. Okay, shh, I've just been, teachers like, shut the fuck up. I'm like, no, I know, I just didn't know. I thought we were all equal. I didn't know my intelligence level was through the roof like a skyrocket. So, I did it and then, and then I'm like, are we, can we talk yet? It was so embarrassing. The loud turnover was really my signature move. Okay, seven times 13. You have one second.

Seven times 13. No, I don't. No, no, no. Dana, Dana, listen. Dana. Ninety-one. We don't... Seven times 13 is 91? Of course. Well, we don't go over... Whoop, sometimes brainiacs come in bunches. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

No, our little test we did. But I wasn't ready for that by the way. Sometimes it was only single digit, single digit. But don't quiz me now. I was smart in fourth grade. I told you I'm dumb now. I always hated 12. I got one three times three nine.

I knew 12 times 12 was 144, but I always hated 12 times 13, or 12 times 11. That fucked me up. The nines have a good trick because they always add up to nine. You know, 81, you know, say 81 has a 10. I was the smallest kid in my class in third and fourth grade and my best friend was Clint.

Smallest Clint in your post? What'd you say? Sorry, it's an X-rated joke. Clint, kid! Clint Ken was my best friend Sorry, it's an X-rated show. Klin, Klin. Clem Ken was my best friend, and we were both about the same height, and he was a math wizard. Wait, who was the other guy? Clem Chen was his name.

My brother. Oh, was he Chinese? I suppose so. I don't look at race, I just look at people. I don't see color, I don't see names, I don't see numbers, I don't see letters. Yeah. But he was Vietnamese. I had a Vietnamese kid named Shin Lawrence. And I just saw Shin, he came to the show, remember Heather?

Yeah. Came backstage. I was on a plane once and Clem Chen walked past me. Clem Chen, now this sounds made up. Shin Lawrence, Israel. God is my witness. It was Clem Chen. He was one of my best friends, third, fourth grade,

and he was definitely a really smart kid, you know? So, and we were both tiny. Yeah, I was fucking microscopic. And when they did the cast picture, the class picture, you know? It starts with the teensiest and goes up. It was me first, then girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl. Now we start the guys and the girls mixing in together.

Talk about a Sadie Hawkins dance in junior high, and then some wall... I'm gonna start crying. Someone, you know, Crimson and Clover was mine. Crimson and Clover. I get a penalized panic attack. And then I go up to a girl who's probably two feet taller than me.

Minimal, me too. Kathy Davenport, you know. Then it's like crimson and Clover, so humiliating. Dude, listen, I can't even stand to see you get on TikTok and they're like, where are my short kings? Short king, I don't like short king. There I said it. You can't add a word king and think it erases the first word. I'm like, yeah, where's my fat queens?

No, no, you're my plumpy princess. It's a compliment. You're a plumpy princess. I'm still processing short kings. Short king summer, Dana and it's coming back. Maybe it's over. Maybe it's pipsqueak winter. I don't know what it is right now.

We're in the spring time right now. Literally for the summer, but you know. I don't like it, it's offensive. Look, an 80 year old woman who weighs 70 pounds with a revolver can destroy any human man in about three seconds. So this whole idea like being six eight and guarding everyone with a sword, that was a big deal.

Now it's all about- Oh, in the old days. All about what's between the ears, mofo. I try to say that to people that don't buy it. Girls are on TikTok like, I went on a date last night. He was, he said he was six-four, he's only six-two, but hey, short king summer. And then he only made 400 grand, which is fine,

but you know what? Everyone's not a millionaire. He's fucking scratching and scraping. So we went to dinner and I was like, oh, but... He picked up the menu. I was like, he picks he picked up the menu. I was like, he picks it up like a girl, but whatever. Anyway, these are like girls reviewing their dates on TikTok.

Well, why is this phrase exists? We haven't planned this, okay. Funny is money, tall is, is there a thing for tall is? No, tall just rules the world. Tall, you need nothing else. Just be tall. That's it. Girls are like, the hunt is over.

Actually Marcella, Marcella, Marcella. Marcello. Marcello, our buddy from SNL. We should have actually checked in with our correspondent, Sarah Sherman, to ask about Morgan Wallen. But we're still talking about that. But Marcello had a good bit about that. I saw him at the Comedy Store.

Actually did a set, we did a set about a week ago. He was funny. Was it about being tall or short? He does say he's not that tall and he talks about it. You know. He's funny, funny kid. He had good jokes. Let me just, couple things.

Al Pacino, like if you watch Al Pacino. Great ass. Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? You don't know. What are you saying? Talk to me. I like the quiet.

Oh yeah, what you gonna do, man? What you gonna say? What I'm doing, a little bit of Scarface, but with him. Hooyah, hooyah. Great ass. I'll take a flamethrower. You hear that line? You got me. What was that one in Son of a Woman? I don't know where I heard it.

I'll take a flamethrower to this place. Flamethrower to his ass. He took it to the girl's ass. I'll take a flamethrower to your ass. Well, you're mixing it up, sir. These are arguably our greatest movies. Look at Godfather 1 and 2, and on and on and on and on, and in recent things that he's done, biopics and stuff.

But they didn't want him, and for the Godfather, since he's 5'5", okay, that means he's probably 5'4". So, black. Which is 5'2", go ahead. And Marcelo has this, and Marcelo's not, he's fine. He's probably, you know, whatever he is. With his hair, he's 6'1". Yeah, no. But he's a... He's got fluffy hair. The personality of Pacino, you never think about it

or talk about it. Same thing with Dustin Hoffman. It's not an issue. You just... Tommy Cruise is 3'11". Tom... If Tom Cruise and I were barefoot and looking at each other, guess who? I don't think he's as tall as you. No, no way. No way.

But- Dana's taller than you think. Uh, no, I never- Every time I see you, I think you're, I go, you're taller than I think. Uh, tell you what, posture, man, posture. No, I also think you slump. Anyway, I'm- I slump. But my point is, Tom Cruise, posture, man, posture. No, I also think you slumped. Anyway, I'm-

I slumped. But my point is Tom Cruise, who's a, at this point, let's face it, a freak, as far as a filmmaker. He's getting there. He's gonna be a bona fide movie star. One more hit. He's in the frinky level of our movie star.

So anyway, all I'm saying is whatever. I will tell you that to wrap it all up in a tidy boat, Morgan Wallen, my humble opinion was... Hot take. He just had to get out of there. Like, again, we're explaining the good nights. I think he says, good night, and they show everybody and he waves.

Then he hugs Mikey Madison and says, hey, great time, take it easy, I got a boogie. And he split, I think, to go to another road gig and he had a private jet. But I think everyone took more offense than it was. If it was a regular, some of those good nights could have cut off by then. I don't think he's trying to be... No, the only thing he did was, I guess bothered people, he Instagrammed or whatever he did. He posted. Yeah, get me to God's country, and he had a private jet there.

Where's God's country again? I don't know, it ain't in Manhattan apparently. By the way, it was such a story that he has merch now, no joke, that says, get me to God's country. I know. Did you know that, Heather? Mm-hmm. We can pull it up if you want,

but I think it's in the shape if I have a keen eye of the Coors logo. Old Coors. Right. Font. Okay. Yeah. But let's get to some hot fucking stories.

Let's get to some hot fucking stories. Let's do it. We did it. We don't know these stories. We're gonna try to figure it out. Mm-hmm. Oh, Katy Perry says she's gonna put the ass in Astronaut in a wild interview ahead of the all...

Okay, Dana, I have a good question about this, because I read about this... You know, all these females are going to space, right? Right. And there's probably six. Okay. Okay, so there's Lauren Sanchez, we know, Katy Perry, Gayle King, and three, I think, astronauts,

maybe it's just all actual astronauts. So they go into space. So I'm reading this story. I've heard about this story for a couple of weeks. The training, the whatever. How many days do you think they're up there? My guess was 10 days. Oh, no.

I mean, this is Blue Origin. This is this toy. This is more like a toy compared to SpaceX. They are up in space for maybe three to four minutes. Eleven minutes. Dana, don't undercut. And you should guess really high. And then I give you the fucking news.

Then you go, holy shit. I know I blew it. Let's let's really got three to four minutes. Rewind. That's a space trip. I'm like You could just go on the World Trade Center and stand. Hmm bad example. You could go to the Statue of Liberty What else is tall and just say I'm almost as high as they're gonna be so I

Thought they went to fucking the moon or something. I'm honestly so stupid. Heather, what did you think? No, I, you're training, you're going to space. It's this big a deal. How about this is an afterthought. You go, Oh, you guys, yesterday was fun. We all got to go up in that thing. We kind of buzzed around for 11 minutes and came back. Is that what people are paying 250 grand a popcorn? Yeah, you go past the thin blue line of our atmosphere and you get into space and then you're weightless for a little bit and you're looking down. That's where William Shatner came off

as a Billy Shatner poet. I can't believe I went into space. Spade is shocked. I will say... that it's sound... Listen, it's definitely interesting. I think it was, it's hyped up a little more of a big deal than it might be. It's definitely cool. It's, yeah, I'm sure, I mean, it's blowing people's minds. If I...

But you have to learn how to float and learn how to do this and train underwater. I thought they were doing all that stuff. William Shatner did it in 91. You know, so I think people can do it. I just think they're gonna have to account for Lauren Sanchez, the weightiness of her. Excuse me, continue, go ahead. I'm not gonna say it.

Inching out of your lane, hitting the double lines. Now I'm centered. Well, no, hitting the double lines. Oh, here we go. Now I'm centered. Hmm. Well, no, it's... I will say. I think it's an incredible thing. It's just not SpaceX. You know, they're not going to the space station.

That's what I thought they were doing. I thought they were going to the space station. You can go around the world in SpaceX. You know? Okay, how about this, Dana? What's the belt or the name, I will know if you say it, where they're saying... Ryan's belt. You can't, I've heard of Orion's belt. Is that the one where you can't get through

without burning up and they're saying that's why maybe we didn't know the movie. No, I think that's a star constellation. Yeah. If you're looking up at the night sky and you see something that looks like a belt, I'm out of my lane right now. What's Orion's belt loop then?

Is that something else? That's the belt goes through it? I'm kidding. lane right now. What's Orlion's belt loop then? Is that something else? That's the belt goes through it? I'm kidding. But I'm saying that there's... Oh, I don't know all these words. There's something where they're saying, if the people that say we didn't go to the moon say we can't get through something because you burn up.

So we can only go up and come down, up and come down. We can't go all the way. Is that something? It'll be in the fucking comments, I'll tell you that. Well, it's probably, besides the takeoff, coming through the atmosphere is a very hazardous time. You have to really kind of... It's a little hot and humid.

A little... 3,000 million degrees. You don't want to be Colonel Sanders wet dream. Crispy. That's not bad. Not bad. I like that. Thanks. I get lucky once in a while.

One more story where I absolutely have no knowledge. With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at Fizz.ca.

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Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. In other news related to this, a Mr. Lex Luther gave a statement saying- Was he the guy in the tank? It was mine, all mine, yeah. A Mr. Lex Luthor of Belgrade claimed ownership. I just ran into Rachel Brosnahan and she is doing the new Superman movie.

I hope it's not up against Busboys. Yeah, she plays Lois Lane. She plays Marvelous Mrs. Lois Lane. Well, wait a minute. You're not gonna go up against Superman, because it actually, I don't know if the movie's going to be good. But the trailer was fantastic, because he's lying down in the ice,

and he's really distressed. He's been hurt. And he does this whistle. -♪ WHISTLE BLOWING, WHISTLE BLOWING. Superdog coming at you. -♪ And it's Superdog from the cartoon. So as a baby boomer, he's got a cape on, and Superdog is gonna drag him to safety. So I was already gonna buy a ticket just to see Superdog. Oh, we'll see that, but you also get Rachel and...

And Rachel, Rachel Maddow. I heard Superdog says, Superman goes, Superdog. We'll see that, but you also get Rachel and... And Rachel, Rachel Maddow. I heard Superdog says, Superman goes, Superdog, he will poop on you. It's like Triumph. Triumph, the insult, the comic insult dog? Yeah. Is actually... Do you think he auditioned for Superdog

and didn't get it cause they go, -"No, you're too dirty." -"Superman, there is..." There is ice here for you to poop on, Superman. Yeah, that's it. He is actually the bad guy in the movie. I will tell you, one thing they might skip, and Rachel's great, Superman's great, I like this movie. I think I saw Superman versus... Well, I like that already....you I saw Superman versus, well I like that already.

You know, whoever man. And they fight, and I don't like when they fight. And the fight scene is a half hour. The truth is, if you can't kill Superman, you have absolutely no kryptonite on you, none in sight. They just keep punching him, he smashes the building. He slides down, flies back. Why do we need a half hour fight

for two people that can't die? I mean, it's fun, but let's keep it tight. and Shumi smashes the building. He slides down, flies back. Why do we need a half hour fight for two people that can't die? I mean, it's fun, but let's keep it tight. I've seen it in the Marvel one. It's the Hulk versus Mothra is something. Neither entity can get hurt. All entity can take punishment and recover in a tenth of a second.

And it goes on for 45 minutes. They kind of limp away like... and recover in a tenth of a second. And it goes on for 45 minutes. Exactly. Thank you. You get it. Kind of limp away like... Rrrr! Rrrr! Rrrr! Yeah, not one bandaid, not one arm sling. Nothing. It's just like... And they're never like, I'm still jarred from that fight I had two days ago. No.

I'll tell you what though, I assume the plot of Superman and the sensibility is top secret, but they've been trying to hatch this for decades, because the original Superman with Christopher Reeves is a masterpiece. Richard Donner directed it, you had Brando. Since then, no suit, I mean, Batman went into dark reality like Christopher Nolan made it seem like he fell down a cave.

This is why he's this crazy Batman. Superman has a goody-two shoes. So where do you go with that? So I'd be curious if they unlock the key to make a great Superman movie in 2025. There I said it. I heard that this is probably not true, but Superman does a collab with Bonnie Blue

and watches her screw with Thousand Guys. Is that true? LAUGHING And he actually has sex with 2000 Ned Beatty. He tries to beat her, cause she's the bad guy. He says, I could beat that sex record. I'll tell you what, they should start on Krypton, start on the main planet like they did.

And what's her name? Betty Blue should be there. Bonnie Blue should be, and that's why they want to explode the planet because they're so outraged by her activity. Oh, or the bad guys are super horny and they enlist Bonnie Blue and the other girl to go have sex with everybody,

to wear them out a little bit. Well, Superman can, just so Superman can think for a second and figure out what to do. And Krypton, the people of Krypton who live in a place called, and also create Kryptonite, but they live on the planet Krypton, the people of Krypton who live in a place called and also create kryptonite, but they live on the planet Krypton, they also can have, they have sex for sometimes a million years at a time.

No, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's... Is that too much? That's too far because these girls can do it for a day and then they're like in the ER, but it's worth it, they get the clicks. But if there are some bad guys from Hornedog City or something that come down, and listen, I don't have it all mapped out yet in my head, but I'll talk to Rachel. Well, I'll just say it to the audience.

David and I had a casual story meeting at Warner Brothers, and we pitched these ideas. We're saying them clumsily now, but we never got a call back. We never. I think, you know what I hate? What if this plot is in Superman and we're like, they obviously stole it from us from that meeting.

Well, the one thing in the first Superman, Ned Beatty, who was in Deliverer, he played... And Gene Hackman, he played Gene Hackman as Lex Lue. He played kind of the Dunst comic idiot character. Well, what are you gonna do, Mr. Luther? I want you to get out of here. So that, they could bring back that character, you know.

And then Gene Hackman was trying to name, he was gonna have an earthquake, and then California would be renamed all these cities named after Lutherville or something. Yeah, Lutherville, Luther everything. Luther everything. Gene Hackman was great and everything ever done. And I would say Greg Kinnear, not being funny here, could play Perry White extremely well. Greg Kinnear as Perry White is the boss of the Daily Police?

Now get out of here. Now get me that, get you, you know. Who is it? J.K. Dobbins? Or J.K. Raw, get you, you know. Who is it? JK Dobbins? Or JK Rawlings? I don't know. JK Simmons? Yeah. JK Simmons? JK Simmons, yeah.

Oh, is it? Well, he's great. Oh, Matt, that might be in Spider-Man. You gotta get yours. Jesus, we're gonna turn off the comments. People are gonna just go nuts. Okay, now it's next story. We really did a good one with that one.

That was a good one. That was good. Seriously, oh, this is, I don't know if this is real. This is underneath the pyramids that we talked about the pyramids last week. Let's see if this is fake or not. Universe are we living in now. Today someone has finally made their way down the shafts that were found under the pyramids. I like the first comment.

Collect your pearls girls because now you're telling me that as of today, doctor and archaeologist Remy, I don't, I'm not gonna try to say his last name because I don't wanna be disrespectful to the Egyptian culture, is the first human being to make his way to the bottom of the shafts underneath the pyramid and has reported back what he found in the chamber at the bottom. And it is mind blowing.

Now, like always, take what you will, leave what you won't. I have purposely not talked about this topic yet because I like to have my facts. You can jump out. I just like talking about the pyramids. I like that if the pyramid is just the top of the iceberg, the pyramid's pretty big anyway, Dana.

Have you seen them? Well, let me ask you a question and Heather can look it up. Do they really know for a fact how that many thousand years ago they made the pyramids? Is that documentable or they kind of have theories of moving? You're saying the theory we all have heard our whole lives is that they built them in some crazy way where they rolled the stones or they did something. 20 tons of stones.

Yeah. With thousands of waves. It sounds, yeah. We can't even do it now and we've got cranes and like I'm way stronger than like a normal person back then. He said, what is this you're saying? AI says, well, we don't have a definitive complete picture of exactly how the pyramids were built.

Archaeologists and historians believe a combination of ramps. Oh, a combination of ramps. This is what historians believe. Even AI doesn't know. But they can't prove it. No, no, nobody knows. Not provable.

So I say it's either some supernatural leap by human beings in Egypt or... Egypt. ...alien intervention. I think it's aliens. I think it's alien intervention. That's way more fun. Let's get Dr. Greer on here. By the way, we're not that crazy

when we think that aliens are real. I think people are finally like, I think they are. I mean, look at the five million drones that are unexplainable. You go, some are explainable, but something's going on out there. Well... Yeah, we should get Greer. I saw another guy. Jeremy Corbell. I met him at the airport. He's like...

A UFO guy? Yeah, he's a UFO YouTuber. And he said, I said, what about Giza? Because I just heard that day. I'm like... So we could always have him on. What about Giza? I'm like, fucking Giza, dude. Well, it's like the Super Bowl for these guys.

They find out something new. They're like, holy shit. It's all gonna come out or not. We have theories and then they're provable. Einstein just when he was like probably seven years old, you know, but probably his first words, he hasn't spoken yet. Albert, Albert, would you like some milk? And his first words

he ever said was black holes are real. That was it. And so, and now we've proven that they're real. Einstein had theories of relativity, theories about gravity and space time. Now we can prove them with our telescopes. So are those real? Do they all, because I like the term theory. I didn't even connect that. They were theories. They're just theories of relativity.

And then that was proven, the time space. And it was proven that if you go on a spaceship, the speed of light out, going to outer space, come back to earth, you're the same age, everyone's 150. So- E equals M squared. We can theorize with string theory that there's more than one dimension

that we're in right now. I mean, we have space- There is a fifth dimension. A fifth dimension. And they can sing harmony at a rate that no one has ever, sorry. I still can't believe freaking SpaceX is only going as high as the goddamn Empire State Building

with Katy Perry. It's really bothering me. It's kind of, I got to admit, I mean, when you're sitting there about to take off, you know it's just a rocket full of fuel. You also know there's no pilot, there's no way out, and you're gonna go straight up. Oh, I wouldn't do it.

But would I pay 250 grand? No. Could you pay me 250 grand? Also no. What is your price? Cause everyone has a price. I like when people go, I don't know a price. And they go, a million?

I go, okay. A million to shit my pants on national TV? I don't know what price, and they got, she said even in 2025, if they do three female comics, like ladies night out, you know, they even go, with four men, they never go, guys are coming. You know, but now it's like, oh. Can you believe four, six women could be in a spaceship altogether? But the truth is they don't have to do that much, but also I think they can handle it.

Ladies with no gravity is coming to you soon. But the truth is, they don't have to do that much, but also, I think they can handle it. Whatever it is. Ladies with no gravity is coming to you soon. What will they do? Katy Perry, they both said they're gonna bring their glam squad, or they wanna bring some makeup up there. I think they're just saying anything to be funny, or like, what are we expected to say, because we're killing time in a press junket

about going 100 feet up in the air. All right, here's... Yeah, go ahead. Let's hear. I'm gonna pitch this, because it's about you and Theo. I'm gonna make a couple calls. Okay. And I'm gonna say it's gonna be good for them, it's gonna be good for you.

Off the successful buzz of BuzzFoys of the movie I haven't seen yet. No, the week before it's released, David Spade and Theo Va Goh on Blue Origin, which is a great handy little rocket. You go up in your wait list, then you open up your shirts and it says, bus boys, you know, whatever it is, July 5th.

Oh, I think back in the day when the space shuttle used to launch, that there was a... Maybe it was Sandler for Waterboy, they were trying to get an ad on the side of it. I think, I'm not even joking. Wow, that's interesting. It would've been great.

Yeah. Uh, because they had a lot of pull back then, and, uh, that was a big deal. Space Shuttle, Space Shuttle still go up or no? I don't know. No, no, they bombed out, and I was on a flight with Buzz Aldrin, this is not a joke. And I talked to him a lot about being on the moon.

I said, what was all that? And he says, it's just science. He had ice in his veins, that guy, but he was a very cool astronaut. But he was upset about the space shuttle. He thought it was way too complicated. All we needed was what he called a big dumb rocket to get stuff into space, just a big dumb rocket.

Not this, you know, what they have, but what Elon Musk has done, big dumb rocket goes up, then comes down, gets caught, and can be reused. That was the revolution, you know? But I'm from the 60s. We were in 2001. There was a Howard Johnson's hotel and restaurant on reused. That was the revolution, you know. But I'm from the 60s. We were in 2001, there was a Howard Johnson's hotel and restaurant on the moon. We're not even close.

When was that? Oh, in 2001? That was 1968. And that was- In that movie? Yeah, you could- Your precious movie? Pavilion's could go to the moon and there's a moon hotel, moon base, and it's all cool. That I would like to see. The moon's a drag. I'm not going to the moon. Yeah, fuck these hotel, moon base, and it's all cool. That I would like to do. The moon's a drag.

I'm not going to the moon. It's not bumping. Yeah, fuck these people. It's dusty. You have to dust every day because there's just moon dust on everything. Well, you're not outside much. You're just inside unless you wanna go see the monolith. I would go for walks.

I gotta get my steps. I grind. Even if I take one step, that means I'm grinding. I'm grinding. I'm trying to take it my steps each day. How many steps? Rise and grind. 6,000?

Nope, 6,000. I love that joke. Oh, that's good. They have a new one. Whenever you say, I say, nope, and then I say it. They have a new one that keeps track of your heart rate throughout the day with the steps and your average heart rate.

If it's 120, not good. If it's down in the 70s or something, very good as an average. They have an app where you can fake the amount of steps you have, and if you're using this to get laid, this is embarrassing. You're like, what's up, gals?

Just checking me apps. Somebody got 9, this is embarrassing. You're like, what's up gals, just checking me apps. Somebody got 9,200 steps today and they're like, I don't know. And you're like, it's really only 6,400. Well, you... Who needs that app? Who does that? And by the way- It's not that app is not selling well.

As Biden would say, and guess what? By the way. And by the way, no, I'm being real here. Bushmen out in Tanzania or wherever, ancient men and women, they walk less than we do. All they do is conserve energy like lions and stuff. And then when they need it, they really need it. But we have plenty of steps.

All you have to do is get into a seated squat every day for an hour. Take your calls and just squat down and sit there. That's the best thing you can do? Best thing you can do, hip mobility. Iron squat against a wall, right? Well, or if you could do it out in the world, you know. You just squat like Bushman.

Like that's how people sit. I think some Asian people sit like that when they rest. You sit down. Vietnamese because you're in the rice paddies and so you need to make a chair out of your lower body. But is this good for your body? You say opens up your spine, it's good for your body. Would it be good like we're doing it now?

Probably not. But if you did it throughout your life, young people understand that mobility is a huge part. There's strength and endurance, but there's also mobility and there's a hip joint. I'm wound so fucking tight. Yeah. All right. On that note. On that silly note, anyway.

People don't like me preening and looking at my hair. I can't help it. I see this fluff over here. Well, you guys do a podcast because anyone could do it. And by the way, so when you're doing it in this situation, you're seeing yourself on the screen. Staring yourself the whole goddamn time. So here I am, just for the fans, here I'm looking at David, ha ha ha.

Here I am checking myself out. Here I am looking up at you. The thing is we don't look directly into the camera because I'm looking at Dana, but if I look in the camera, I look up here, which looks more realistic, but I can't talk to Dana without looking at him. Yeah, camera, David. Camera, David, me. Heather, Katy Perry on the moon. Greg Holtzman, Heather, David.

Rats in my infested mansion. Gail King. woman in American society to go on Blue Origin. Let's nominate that one more woman, Meryl Streep. And we will tell them next week who won. I'm nominating Meryl Streep. I'm nominating the lion that killed the people because he wasn't having it. I like, I would nominate Lady Gaga

because on liftoff she'd be like, ah, ah, ah, ah, whatever. I guess I'm good. Here we go. Rrra-ya. Two, two, two, two, hi. James Taylor, ain't it good to know you're on a rocket ship? Give him a guitar.

No, they'd be mad, because when they're taking off, he goes, I've seen fire. And I was like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't sing that now. That song's about a plane crash. Oh, please. Do you not know that?

No, I thought it was a... Dana, wake up. It was an addiction, fire and rain, you know? No, just yesterday morning, it was his girlfriend got in a plane crash. Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone. Jeez, Luis, that's such a brilliant song. Now I can't listen to it, it'll be sad.

Oh, you'll ball your head off. But I do like nominating someone. I want people to get creative. The plans we had, put an end to that. Yeah, whatever. Oh yeah, if you listen to it now, and everyone will tell me I'm lying in the comments, I probably am.

All right, okay, Dana, I gotta run. So just wait here for about 20 minutes. Yeah, I'll wrap in the comments. I probably am. All right. Okay, Dana, I gotta run. So just wait here for about 20 minutes. Yeah, I'll wrap up the show with Heather and Greg and you have a nice cheeseburger. All right. Oh yeah, I'm going on tour. Where am I going?

Oh, Boston. Where are you going? New Jersey is my next weekend. Okay, I'll tell you more about it later. Thank you, Dana. Perfect. For the people who waited, bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly

as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it. Ooh.