Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #66 - Kevin Nealon & Donuts IN STUDIO

Episode Date: May 2, 2025

Kevin Nealon pays a visit to David's house to talk men fighting gorillas, faking your own death, and so much more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's largest hot ash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. All right, I know this is weird. We've done this a long time. But could I get a self-picture of you? Yeah. Your best look. Show them what that is. And then look back at me. You poked it pretty hard. You got it.

Yeah. Well, I had to mime it. Oh yeah. That's comedy shit. That could jish. Well, here we are. You can see our whole bodies. It's not an illusion.

Yeah. Are we dream boats? No. Have we been on a boat? At least we're not the same person that everyone accuses of. Yeah. I was going through the comments, Dana.

Mm-hmm, and just blocking people. And no, I didn't. I go through other podcast comments and pretend they're about me. I compare comments of other YouTubes and go, oh, the people hated them. They're pretty nice to us, that's good. My wife leads a little comment sheet,

you know, that types it out every day so I get comments on how I was the day before. Oh, she does on the fridge? Yeah, it's like comments, it's called. About your performance and said, that one guy looks stupid. You're like, was that about me, hon? That's funny.

So Dana, I was on the road. I know you're- You were on the road? By my stories about the, what's the tour called? Oh yeah, I got a feel for it. So I was on the tour, it just started, we did New Joyze. New Joyze. And we did Boston. Okay.

And then, and I got some coming up in Omaha, Des Moines, and what? St. Louis, oh that'll be good. God. Home of Nikki Glaser, I know it is a fucking grind. In America, you know I'm the biggest pussy, so please come out because to get on stage, to limp on stage after all the travel.

I know. Is like, oh and they. For the love of God, go to David's show. Do you want me to still do my act? I just want to get there and touch the mic and go, I did it, let's go. But when I hear the roar of the crowd. You've been everywhere, man. So here's what happens, Danny.

All right, so you would blow your brains out. Or which flight? The hike, Heather went on this one. I was with Dan Levy, Catherine Blanford. Heather went to just sort of supervise the children. So we go all the way out there. We get one of these first class, right? But you know they kind of, you know, Plainsmore Night, I should check with you.

It's not the one that they say it's like a little small apartment. No, it's domestic. So it's very rarely a wide body. You know, do you know the difference between a wide body and a narrow body? Is it a 737? It's two and two, not two, three and two. Seats, that is. Wait, so it's two on the outside, three in the middle? It's a wide body? Can be, can be, depending on how they configure it.

So you're probably on a Max, one of those ones that tend to go, but it's all right, super Max. Super crash. So I went on and I was in first cause sometimes I do coach, sometimes I do first. This leg, lingo. Goes to sleep. I did.

But it was so squinchy, I couldn't really camp out in there, it was pretty basic. So it's just eight hours of reading us magazine. And my monitor was on the fritz, my TV. They're like, oh yeah. And I go, and my wifi doesn't work. So I'm really raw dogging it. How long can I read the barf bag?

Well, I have a fear of flying. And what's great is on some flights, I try to get on the wifi. And I try for like four hours. That's the first half of your flight. And we'll be landing shortly. And all I did in the entire flight was try to get the wifi. More like tri-fi.

When I get on it, it goes credit card, this isn't, everything didn't match. And I'm like, and they're like, we're almost there folks. Yeah, here we go. You're wrestling with a robot. I mean, I want to give them my money. No, here's the thing. The wifi works when you sign up for it and you pay.

Oh, it works perfectly. Then suddenly it's on the fritz. Then it can't do anything. I'm like, how did the money get there so fast? How did that work? I don't get on wifi when I want to pay is what I'm trying to say. Anyway, you know what I'm saying?

I pay for it and then it won't go through. No, I know that's the worst. Okay, that's the double worse. Yeah, I'm rat fucked. So you made it. So there I am. There the worst. Okay, that's the double worst. Yeah, I'm rat-fucked. So you made it. So there I am. There I am in beautiful, you're joysy. So I walk around and do a few bits on the street

just to warm up. Yeah. Anyway, show's fun, great crowd. Next day, this is where it gets complex, Dana, stay close. I'm listening. I have to get a little puddle jumper to go. It's only like a 39 minute flight, right? So it's a-

A puddle jumper? Well, like a smaller plane, you'd hate it. You'd hate it. I've been on every plane. It's not props, but it's a little skinny one. And now where I go, it'll be fun if we're on coach together, jam together. So I get on and they go, oh, you should get on first.

Let's get on first. Bad idea. You get on first to give the, see you have luggage room? You've never been in coach. I should have showed you. I should have taken pictures for you. I started out in coach for years. Oh, you've been there.

You remember. Yes. So I get my bags up. Now I'm squinched and now we start the taxi. I have a show that night. So you get a little itchy like, let's go, let's taxi. Let's get this thing. Right, right.

So I'm like, are we driving there? I'm like, hey, there's the airport. No, we're driving over here. Taxing. We're taxiing for one hour. You would have flipped. Really? One hour? Yep.

And then we're sitting there and I'm like, everyone closes their window on the plane. That's a new thing. Open, I want to see where I am in the world. Oh, we're still on the runway. We're about five feet from the gate. And then after an hour and people are, you know, they're putting their stuff

in their butts in my face. I'm like, I don't really care about coach. This one was so tight and so these tight butts in front of me. So I go, okay. And then they go, hey, it's your captain. We got a little snafu up, snafu what? Snafu? Snafu up here. And he goes, we've got little snafu up, snaf what? Snafu. Snafu up here.

And he goes, we've got nine computers and eight of them are working. But the other one I go, go for it. Like I'm like, I don't care. Eight's fine. I don't know what the ninth one does. I'm gambling. It doesn't do a lot.

But if we got eight that are pumping it out, working hard. And so he goes, we're just gonna go back to the gate and check it out. Back to the gate. Oh, one of those. That's a real corner. And you know you're fucked when he goes, we're just gonna go back to the gate and check it out. Back to the gate? Oh, one of those, oh. That's a real corner. And you know you're fucked when he goes,

actually we're gonna be, grab yourself and get off the plane just while we figure this out. Well, that's better, because sometimes you sit on the plane, maintenance is gonna check it out. So you see a guy in an orange jumpsuit with a wrench, goes into the cockpit, comes out, he's sweating, and he's shaking his head like this as he walks out.

And he goes, get off. Not giving a lot of confidence. He's got to suck it, Ranji's going, is it righty, tighty, lefty, loosey? I don't know, man. So I get off and I feel better than I'm off, but I go, we gotta rent a car and go, we gotta just go.

Cause my flight's, I gotta get to Boston. I cannot disappoint my fans. You went for the car thing. So we start calling a car and then they go, well it looks like we found a plane, we're gonna get on in a half hour. I go, it's cutting close. And then they go, well our plane's,

it's leaving from Charlotte soon. I'm like, oh so it's not here. So what was that story? So we see a pilot and we go, dude, cut the bullshit. Give it to me right down the middle. Is this plane gonna take off or should I get in that car? He goes, I'm one of the pilots. They usually, if they say a plane's coming, we're going.

I'm like, okay, because our window's closed now for a car. So we wait, about an hour later, they load us up, hour of taxiing, get there, beep, bop, boop, bop, bop, beep, this and that, that and this, run on stage, crush, crush, kill, kill, kill, crush. Standing o, standing o, standing o, kill, kill, crush, ovation. Jumping jacks.

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, standing o. Everyone's shooting off bottle rockets, rolling candles. Anyway, great show, worked out. And that's a story that could have been 20 seconds? I have a 20 second one. So my wife and I are in Paris, metaphorical cigar. We don't travel ever.

And we're going on an A380. It's like a, you know, basically a shopping mall with wings. It's so huge. And they drive you out in this car and they're playing music. And we go up on the gangway and it's French. It's Air France. So a guy's like Mauricio, eh, for you older folks.

Mauricio Vallee. He's just a charming French guy and he meets us. We are pretty much probably going to take off but right now we have a metonist problem. So I suggest you go back to your lounge and come later. So guess what? They fixed it and we went. And I was not happy on the climb out.

The climb out. Is that when you leave and go like that? Well, once it's, the first 20 seconds are the most dangerous part of a flight. So you just, you know, you just wait. If you go to two minutes, the odds go to 20 million to one. So I just allow myself to be nervous. After how long? Two minutes? I asked my, I allow myself to be nervous for two minutes.

I count from one to 120 back to zero. And then I just go, fuck it. Yeah. And then this is before I go to the airport though. Sorry. Good night. Boom! But that's it. So I did that, got back. My voice was a little low and we had Larry David today. And I go,

he better not think I'm sick, he will flip the fuck out. I'm not sick guy, it's called being super fucking tough. That's what it's about. He does, I don't think he's phobic because afterwards he was so great, I just spit in my palm and finally put it there, pal. Yeah, I saw that. And he did.

Yeah. It's a big handshake. He wanted to wrestle out there, I'm like, wrestle? I don't wrestle. He's like, no, just grapple around a little bit, take our shirts off. He gave me the whiskers like my dad. He got on top of me and he's like rubbing it.

Oh, that's fun. You know what the most embarrassing part of that is when you get a boner and you're like- This did not happen with our friend Larry David. No, it didn't happen. This is Jerry Seinfeld coming into Superflight just to say, no. He was great though.

But he's on, he's on flying the wall right now. He's literally on, as we speak, he's on there. And he was, he had two- He had two purple Nerple. He had two tomato boom booms at the desperate sponge. I've done these Carson things for the last three years. It's working. I've got desperate sponge. I've done these Carson things for the last three years. It's working. I've got desperate sponge and I have not been able

to beat it, but I have one I'm gonna try right now in Superfly that doesn't beat it, but for some reason it really makes me laugh. I had two double daiquiris at Banana Dans at the Prickly Porky Pine. Banana Dans is funny, right? I know, that's a quicker one. Cause Aaron, I...

No, it's funny. Sorry. Listen, by the way, it sounds chaotic, but we have our buds coming in here to jump in and join for the news. Because I just like, I'm more amazed, even though our stories are dumb, I'm more amazed we're both sitting here

and we get to show our whole hands and by it's fun. Right. We're showing our legs, feet, hands. You get to see the carry-on to wood calves I got going on here. I'll just say it, Gap, Brooks, Brooks. Oh yeah, Dana, Dana, what are you wearing? 10 years old or Banana Republic.

Cords. Banana Republic, stolen, Levi. Whole outfit, $39. How much is this little cutie? Whoops. Dude, don't give yourself LASIK with the glare. Don't be jealous. How much is this little cutie? Whoops. Oh, don't give yourself lace with the glare. Don't be jealous. It's solid gold with a solid diamond arm.

It's a Rolex. No, I have one good watch and our mystery guest is coming down the stairs. One of our old buddies. Oh, this is fun. We do have a mystery guest. Okay, so we're not gonna advertise. We've not advertised our guest and we're gonna shoot his.

Oh no, Carol Channing will be here in a minute. You might recognize him from the title. Yeah, as we stare at the door now like two puppies. Brooke Shields is a... Oh, I tell you, we gotta get Brooke Shields on. She's great. I flew with her once. I hear her yapping.

Thanks, mystery guest. Look who's here. I flew with her once. I hear Heather yapping in the hallway. It's our mystery guest. Interesting. We're going, Kev, so just come sit down or whatever your name is. It's just rolling. You're just walking into television. Careful.

This is like the Tonight Show. Let's bring out our first guest. Hey, what's good to see you, bud? There it is. Kevin Nealon. Oh my god, it's the first person who brought us something. Whoa! Good job, Chevy Chase. Can anyone try these fucking chairs? I said Kevin is sized one for one. I told him to give you space Yeah, they got a fucking box of groceries for some reason over there. All right, you're fine. So what is this stuff? Let me see that is It's a little cream puffs Dana I'm a little bit of a spendy Susie.

I am a boozy Susie and a spendy Susie. I'm more of a boozy Susie, but yeah. You are a spendy spender, yeah. And a lot of our listeners are nice enough to write in and say, you look like you drank a lot and slept on your face. But that's just constructive criticism. Well, it's very concise and you don't really drink very much.

I'll tell the fans. Just puffy. This is where Klarna comes in. Klarna is your everyday smarter spending partner, which is what a lot of people need. A lot of my friends definitely need it. It allows you to make smarter decisions with your money and it's sometimes good to have a partner like that. And I'll say it again, Klarna, which I assume is Swedish.

Klarna is your smarter everyday spending partner. Shoppers can use Klarna's Pay in Four product to split their purchase into four interest-free payments. That's right. Here's some key takeaways. Listen up, brother. Klarna offers a Pay in Four product where you don't have to pay interest. I think that's a good thing.

You can pay with Klarna at Merchant Checkout in the Klarna app or with the Klarna card. You can also compare prices at your favorite stores and earn cash back when you shop in the app. They're making an effortless for in-app shoppers to get more value from every purchase. So choose Klarna at your favorite retailers or shop now at Klarna.com. CA resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California finance law license.

NMLS, number 135-3190. Klarna, balance account required. Klarna may get a commission, limitations, terms and conditions apply. I'm just gonna say it. It's a Clarna summer. Discover the magic of Bet MGM Casino where the excitement is always on deck.

Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with live dealer. From roulette to blackjack, watch as a dealer host your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you are actually at the casino. The excitement doesn't stop there. With over 3000 games to choose from,

including fan favorites like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz, and more. Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same-day withdrawals if you win. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today if you don't want to miss out. Visit betmgm.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge.

BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. We just show clips in the internet we'll see right now I would not join a modern-day hunting party of men because the question is a hundred men versus one full-grown silverback gorilla. No chance. And there are people out there like this that are saying that a hundred guys would win and no, no they wouldn't. No, just flat out no.

A gorilla's skin, you can't bite through it. Their bones, somewhere between the bones. There goes my plan. Learn that the hard way. As ours. Their hand, like their grip force could make you jizz in two seconds. You know, if they came at him one at a time, they wouldn't win. The gorilla would win.

But I think if they all jumped on him at the same time and poked his eyes out. Yeah, I think that the trick is the eyes are the nuts. I think if the gorilla just the eyes are the nuts. I think if the gorilla just put its giant arms down, just sat back and went, go ahead, your best shot. Sorry, substitute Yoda. How do you do a gorilla talking, Kevin? Well, here's what I would do.

I can say you were onto something, Spotty was onto something. You take the balls and you shove them in the eye sockets. You cannot see through balls. You cannot see through balls. You cannot see through balls. So then he's blinded and ready to be pummeled. I'll tell you that. What would Hans and Franz say about a gorilla?

Well, you know, let me tell you something, Hans. You know, there's no maths for us. You know, you get us in the jungle and we just go ape crazy, you know. We humans were not a primitive primate. You don't need 100, you need two. You two, Hans and Franz. You have no-

How many guys would it take though to take down a, let's say a chipmunk. Let's start with a chipmunk. A chipmunk for a guy. I'd say a ground squirrel first. And then you work up. This guy, here's what would happen. You're right, Kevin.

The strategy is, I'd start with a push fight. Just let the gorilla get a feel for him, you know? Okay, he is pretty strong. His skin is tough. And then I'd tell everyone else to go first because he's gonna get winded. I mean, if he's just plowing through guys, it's hard. You need everyone to go at once, like go,

and then everyone grab an arm or something. It's just, but it's too tough. It is too tough. Well, you know, they say to get rid of a shark, you just punch him in the nose. So maybe that works with a gorilla too. Yeah. How about this guys? I think we should try it.

One foot or maybe 18 inches of water or maybe two feet of water, great white and a gorilla fighting in two feet of water. Okay, I got the plan. Where's Mr. Beast? I got the plan right here. He'll put this together. I don't know why we didn't think about this earlier.

Yeah. You have some kind of ether, you know, and you put it over his nose and mouth and knock him out with the ether, you know, with a bag of like, you know, a cloth, ether, put it over, and then he's out. And you just stomp on him, I guess. I'd say a hundred guys all with chainsaws.

A hundred guys with chainsaws versus the gorilla. I guess they I'd say 100 guys all with chainsaws. 100 guys with chainsaws versus the gorilla. I guess they're saying you can't use any kind of weapon. Yeah, I would think you don't have to say that. Please, this is new rules, okay people? Okay. 100 guys with chainsaws, sorry Bill. Okay.

Okay. Is this worth it? Let me see. Mathematician who refused to accept a Fields Medal and the $1 million clay prize? Yeah, he wins a prize and they give him a million dollars. That looks like Bill Hader in makeup, right? What is a million dollar clay prize?

I don't know, play it. Let's see if it's worth the shit. Oh, he's not interested in money or fame. I don't want to be on display like an animal at the zoo. I'm not a hero to mathematics. Oh, finally. You're disturbing me. I'm picking mushrooms.

Oh yeah, this guy's just out fucking. So he gets a prize and he just rejects it? Is that the whole? Yeah, he's old school. He's like, I just do math, dude. Get out. I'm not trying to be in Good Will Honey. Man, you have any,

what are your favorite heroes of mathematics? Oh, I've got a lot. Oh, you gotta start with Newton. You gotta start with Newton. You gotta start with Newton. I wanna start with Newton. He is Isaac Newton. And if we knew another mathematician, we would say that's the next guy. Yeah, Einstein.

Karl Marx was an incredible arithmetic. Oh yeah, and a great comedian too. Yeah, he had an abacus. Oh, okay. Thanks for running over. Were you good at math in high school? I was very good at math. You were good.

This guy's a whiz kid. I was a whiz kid. But, yeah, I was a whiz kid. I'm okay. Thanks for running over. Were you good at math and high school? I was very good at math. You were good. This guy's a whiz kid. I was a whiz kid, but you know, I got out of it. I think I hit a wall, something stupid like geometry didn't click with me.

Yeah, yeah. All my scholarships and down the drain. That was the only one I was good at was geometry. Oh, meet my square peg. I like that the best because I'm good with pictures, you know? But there's numbers I'm not good with. Pictures, yeah. Will you get a multiple choice?

Yes, for the sag. Can I give you one? Yeah. Okay, what doesn't belong here? Apple, pear, banana, tank. What kind of banana? Is it Chiquita? This is a trick question.

Yeah, it is. Is tank the name of a fruit? Kevin was shocked when he said, if math was more pictures than numbers, he would have been great. I would have been great with pictures. Turns out it's more numbers, I think. What's your top five worries in just your personal life?

Is climate change in the mix? Kevin, is your number one worry your set at the improv? COVID much? My number one worry is that gorilla. Yeah. If it's that gorilla they showed, I would be scared, but go ahead. How about a thousand men trying to take it down?

How about me taking on a hundred gorillas and let's see what the fuck's going on? Yeah, you're talking. How about one gorilla takes down a thousand? Well, I think, you know, the top five worries, I think for everybody is, except for Spade, is financial. Health. Financial. Except for Spade, is financial. Financial.

Except for Spade. And then health. Right. Right? Yeah. And then your car. They always say invest wisely. And then bags under your eyes. Bag eyes. That's one of mine.

And then any kind of rags. Carpool tunnel. Thanks comments. Carpool tunnel. Did you, honestly, no joke, did you sleep on your face last night? Someone called me a pound puppy. That's what people say, I'm sorry.

You know those old pound puppies? They have dogs with big droopy baggy eyes. Yeah, I'm going to Brad Pitt's guy and I'm gonna say take a samurai, do whatever you want. Why Brad Pitt? Does he has a hair? I don't think, he just looks good.

If anyone looks good, I wanna. Do you use a CPAP machine at night? Do I? Yeah. I do not. Do you want me to? It's kind of fun. What does it help?

It helps if you're snoring or if you wake up with sleep apnea where you're gasping for breath. How do you know you have it? Oh, you'll wake up. I do it, yeah. You wake up and you're gasping? I do that. Oh, what if you wake up and you're kind of like,

that was a sexy dream. You don't have apnea, right? Oh, no, no. Have you ever waken up with a boner? Let's look at a clip. Not mine. That's me. By the You don't have apnea, right? No, no. Have you ever waken up with a boner? Let's look at a clip. Not mine. That's me. By the way, like these two guys,

cause we just in here together, like Kevin's rhythm comedically and yours, there's symmetry there. I mean, it's kind of nice. But who came first? You're different, but. No, Kevin. By the way, we can mention it here and mention it later.

Kevin is shooting a special. Yes. At the Irvine Improv, great room. Great room. Incredible room. What are the dates? The date's gonna be May 10th. May 10th, Saturday at the Irvine Improv.

And I, you know- Two shows. Two shows, six and 8.30. Irvine Improv, Kevin and Ian. Tickets are going very quickly. Low ticket warning. Low ticket warning. No, Irvine does fill up and it's such a good comedy crowd. They're really good. Great comedy crowd.

Yeah, people should check this out because Kevin, I've been watching for years and years and always guaranteed funny. I see you doing even practice sets of The Improv Killing. Kevin Yeun is everybody's, all the comedians know he's one of the all time greats. Everybody's friend's favorite comedian. Now, you know, they say, Nate B all-time greats. Everybody's friend's favorite comedian. Now, you know, they say,

Nate Bragazzi goes, I'm everyone's mother's favorite comedian. Yeah, right. Is this, do you feel like you're at the top of your game, coming into the special? I'm at the top of my game. You're like an athlete. I'm at the top of my game,

and it is downhill after this, I'll tell you that. But I'm telling you, I've been working a lot on the road lately, and I'm, gotta be honest with you, I'm kind of funny. I'm kind of funny. Oh, you are. Yeah, and I can't wait to do this actually. I'm really, you know, I used to,

I did other specials before and I was kind of worried about it, you know, the exact same thing each show. But now I'm just going in, I'm having fun. Yeah, it is such a mind thing. If you just go with that. It is a mind thing if you just go with that. It is a mind thing. Let's keep talking. Okay, keep talking. So we're talking about Kevin's special, tickets are going very, very fast.

Irvine Improv. May 10th, Irvine Improv. And he's at the top of his game. Top of my game. It is like an athletic thing. Scotty, I gotta tell you this. I've been doing a lot of research on specials. I've talked to Dane about this

and I've been going on Netflix. By the way, there's like a thousand specials on Netflix. So I don't think there's specials anymore. Right. So I'm looking at different backdrops that people are using, you know, to get an idea. And then I came across yours and I thought, well, let me hear what Spade does in his act

in the beginning, let me see how he gets into it. And you did a bit that was exactly like a bit I was gonna do in the beginning. Yeah, and I thought, oh my God, that was like my, that was my coming out of the gate, get him on my side. And then I could just cruise for the rest of the show. Okay. And what is the bit? The bit is, I just do a truncated, but he really milks it.

He's got a better way of doing it. But I say, so I'm outside, right? I'm out front of the club and I'm talking to this woman. I don't know who she is, fan. And she's one of these people who likes to announce that she's a hugger before she hugs you. She goes, I'm a hugger. I said, well, I'm a kisser.

She wasn't a hugger anymore. And then I go on. But so I'm watching Spades thinking, I'm going, oh shit. Is that in your special? It was kind of, because it was during COVID. This was, I'm a hugger. Then she goes.

She's an ass grabber and all that. So just absolute, sometimes it happens parallel. Yeah. I mean, there's so many comedians out there now. I mean, people are, a lot of comics are doing the same hunks, same topics. And I'm going through these things, I'm thinking, okay, gotta get rid of that.

No. Gotta get rid of that, gotta get rid of that. No one sees it at all. It's your spin on it because back when we started, everyone had a 7-Eleven joke, a McDonald's. But then I was like listening to Dennis Miller and I'm like, well, he's not a hack, he's doing all of them, but he just does his version of it.

So as long as it's your version of each joke, who cares? Well, I like the way you did my version of it really well. Yeah, you know, I remember that night you went and saw Kevin at the store, and you go, he was really funny, his opener was great. I said, I have no ideas for special, then I saw him and I go, I have a lot of ideas. And then you said, all of a sudden you had a new act,

but you said you saw him there and then you also saw him at the ice. No, I just did one, but you're gonna, Dana was telling you about shots. Dana wasn't happy with his shots. Yeah, he liked the cowboy shot. And so you try to go loose. Even this is like, it's really nothing,

but it's kind of important. Well, Dana and I like to show both of us. So it's just like a more of a bullshitting. Let's let them in on what the cowboy shot is. This is like, it started with Steve Allen, I think, or Carson, comes out for the monologue. If he had a pair of six shooters, you'd still see the bottom of the guns.

So it's sort of like mid upper thigh. And also then if you gesture like, so I went to Nova Scotia, you could still see the hands in the frame. Yeah, yeah, that's why. And so that's the shot you wanna stay on most of the time. The special I did, for some reason, they had eight cameras, they didn't have that shot.

They had head to toe, or here, or here. Tight. And here is good for horror films. Ah, ah! But for comedy, it's editorializing. And when it's that Jimmy Kimmel, Fallon, they all do, Colbert, they all do that cowboy shot. You should be a cinematographer.

You're so good at noticing those things. You're thinking of that? I know, I can't help it. Well, when you, there's always a shot of sweating, like tight shot. Oh yeah, it's the worst. Some comic, you're like, oh, this guy's working. I think just the title alone will bring people to my show. Oh, what is it?

It's called Loosen the Crotch. Loosen the Crotch? Loosen the Crotch. Hilarious crotch? Loosen the crotch. Hilarious. Mostly. I like it. I'm doing one too. It's called What's Up Bitch?

Oh. Yeah. And who is she? I'm trying to stop yours. David, if your special wasn't Dandelion, what was it gonna be? It was gonna be In Between Benching. That's good.

Actually, a friend of mine, Larry Bubbles Brown, is like just very funny. That was where I got the line from. He, a friend of mine, Larry Bubbles Brown, is like just very funny. That was where I got the line from. He wanted to name my special, Don't Laugh Bitch, You're Next. I don't mind that. Such a painting a picture of something. Spade, yours is called Danaline?

Yeah. That's a great title. That's like Chris Rock's tambourine. You have no idea. I don't mind one word. It's kind of vague. And it really kind of means, cause in one of my bits I say, I almost got in a fight at McDonald's.

And I say, guys, I can't get in a fight. I'm a bit of a dandelion. I look tough on TV, but I will break easy. And then I couldn't think of a title. But that's good too. Cause you could kind of refer back to it. Well, that's, you know, when I did dandelion, you know, as opposed to that's when I did

loosen the Crotch. It's not the same, really. Don't you love when people refer to shows they do and truncate it? I knew a guy who worked on Say Bye to the Bell and he wanted it to seem more fancy. He goes, yeah, that was when I was working on Bell, you know? And, you know, S-A-B-D.

It's like Curb Your Enthusiasm. Yeah, I worked on Bell, you know? But, you know, I was working on Dandy. You know, that was my Dandy special. I know, Curb Your Enthusiasm went down to Curb. Yeah, we worked on Bella, you know. But I was working on Dandy. You know, that was my Dandy special. I know, Curb Your Enthusiasm went down to Curb, but it could have just, it's easier than saying, I worked on Enthusiasm. You tighten it that way.

It's hard to do that. I don't know if they'd go Feld. I had a show called Feld. Seinfeld. You guys are two of the people I think I could sit and listen to the most and enjoy like a conversation like in a booth at a diner, not separately. That would be horrible.

Right, because you need the two. But together. Well, you know, in Russia, there's a guy, a Russian friend of mine said this, is that if they go for a vodka, they always get a third. So they never have two guys going out. It's almost intrinsically kind of romantic, just two guys alone.

What do you like, what do you like, what woman do do? So they get a third. So right now we're in a third. So if you say something funny, you might have two people laughing. If I say something funny, I'd probably have two people laughing and then people in the background laughing

really hard as well. Now, if David... That's the same policy I have for a threesome. Yeah. You know what I mean? You don't want one on one. I did have a threesome once. You've ever done a two and a half?

You've had a threesome? I had one recently in college. Did I tell you this? Recently, when'd you just graduate? In college. Okay, it was me, my buddy, and this other guy. Okay, listen, one of us was supposed to be a girl. That was the first plan.

That was the blueprint. And then it got nighttime, she flaked, and I'm like, guys, it's all set up. Let's just run through it once. Let's just grab someone. Let's just see if we get the beats down. You know what I mean? Let's just do the blocking.

Dry rehearsal. And you know, we got the candles. It looks like a sting video. And so in hindsight, it seemed gay. Yeah. When I explained it to people, and then they explained it to me. It didn't, it was gay. Yeah.

I'm sorry, nothing wrong with that. Some of the seams is I guess is out of it now. It's all just. Well, hindsight, gotta be gay. Yeah, hindsight is a good name for a special. Oh man, that would be good, hindsight. But then you gotta put that word in there somewhere. Oh, and your act, that's the hard thing of doing that is like a movie

and then the title's somewhere in it. It's not a rule, but it's kind of interesting that Dandelion was in it. But I liked Dandelion, and then I go, I gotta make sure I do that bit because I wanna say it in there somewhere. What about these guys who have t-shirts printed up with their joke on it?

And they got like a thousand t-shirts and they gotta keep doing that joke to sell the t-shirts. Who was the first one you remember that had merch? Vic Dunlop was mine. Oh, what a good memory. Remember him? You know what it was?

Him, Tomerson. I'm just thinking the Comedy Store regulators. They were like, it was what people, well, you don't know. A bit from their act that would kill. They decided, oh, I'll bring a suitcase full of these goofy eyes. And then people laughed, they walk out drunk, they grab it for 10 bucks or something.

The great thing about dandelion is you could just put that on a shirt and people like that anyway. You can fit it on whatever you are. It'll be a skinny dandelion with a little bandaid on it and the white parts will beat my hair and it'll say, blow me. It's not bad. Oh, so it's not the, it's a overly ripe dandelion. and the white parts of my hair and it'll say, blow me. It's not bad.

Oh, so it's not the, that's a overly ripe devil. Yeah, but I thought that's what they all were. No. That's how stupid I am. Yeah. Kevin's like, oh my God, no. That's good to be able to say, blow me. It's like, wasn't Howard Stearnsberg

coming all over you again or something? No, that was Tom Sigurus Tours. I'm coming all over the world. No, Howard Stearns are both coming all over. So why, how come we never did Hans and Franz T-shirt? I guess we couldn't back in those days. Hey, have you read the Lauren book? Have you read the Lauren book?

I'm on page 800. Really? I just wait for other people to read it and then explain it to me. Have you read it? Not yet, but my wife read it and she, every morning she gives me a recap. Oh really? Oh, that's good. So I might do that as a Instagram. Oh my wife read it and she, every morning she gives me a recap. Oh really? Oh that's good. So I might do that as a Instagram. Oh, read it?

Every day, read it and just kind of give a little summation. Oh you should go on for a long time. I'd watch it because I want to know what's in it. Yeah, but she just... Any photos? Yeah. Is there photos in it? A couple, just me though.

Just a lot of different... He was always my favorite. Did you still draw cartoons? Something about Kevin. Did you ever draw me? It's interesting a lot of different. He was always my favorite. Did you still draw cartoons? Something about Kevin. Did you ever draw me? Not yet. It's interesting to see how many people got fired from that show that you didn't know got fired.

It was soft firing though, kind of. We talked to Taryn Keen about that. It was sort of like, you're just not, you're never like, you're fired. It's sort of slowly you get behind. Like Farley and Sandler. I didn't know that, did you know that? Soft firing, right?

Did you know they got fired? I didn't know that. I did not know that. I found out about a year ago that they got fired. Me too. Yeah. We were doing that threesome. Was that you the third girl?

What school did you go to? But that book, it's pretty interesting from what I'm hearing. Oh, Lauren's? Yeah. Oh, Lauren? Yeah. Oh, I'm sure. I heard it was really good. She spent eight, Susan Morrison, eight years on and off.

10 years. 10 years, okay. She came on here and yapped about it. Really? It was good, yeah. Yeah, nice. Would you like to have a book written about you? No, I don't like everyone's recollection.

People are like, oh, in Arizona, my friend drove with you. You were sitting on a keg in the back of a truck all the way to Flagstaff cracking jokes all the time. I went wrong, wrong, wrong. Would never be in the back, would never be cracking jokes all the time. Keg maybe.

But it's always like stories that are like a, it would drive me crazy if I was these super famous people that you have to read like all these things about yourself and you know some is true, some is not, but you just feel like an asshole. Okay, pop quiz. It's three million to write the book. Banana.

What was the question? No. Tank. Three million? You don't want to write a book, but they say, here's three million for David Spade to write. I know, Dana's thing is like. I'm about money and camera angles.

Would you do this? That's the end of my book. And then you say, absolutely not. Would you do it for this much? And you go, well. You know, I do this hiking show, as you know, cause you're both on there. I was on it twice, Griffin Park or three times. Yeah, and often people go,

who was the most of the handful on your hike? And I said, well, you know, everybody's great. I said, no, if you had to name one. I said, well, David Spade, David Spade finally agreed to do it after two years of me hounding him. Cause he did the sun might blind him. No, he said that, okay, I'll do it,

but it's gotta be in between rush hour traffic. And it's gotta be totally flat. I gotta be flat. It's gotta be flat. And I got just a trail. It was totally flat. You fucking ass. And we're walking and all of a sudden he stops.

And he goes, are we going uphill? It was like a 1% grade. I could feel it. I could feel it. And he had to have food. Feel it in my neck. I'd have a picnic. You'd have to have a picnic halfway through.

Poor Kevin. First of all, I did suggest that Kmart parking lot on third by the Grove. I go, it's funny, it's flat. All we're gonna do is talk. Do we really need to beat the shit out of me? And he's like, yes, we do. This is very legit.

Part of it is the effort. No, anyway, so then. Not in your episode. Not big on effort. And then, but Kevin, I was thinking of what a puss I am. He's holding a camera, right? And you have all these waters for me and you to make sure, little know, trail mix for me

when I black out. First aid kit. First aid kit for when I get bit by a snake. So we're walking up and I'm like, this poor guy, it didn't even bother you. You were just like, whistling. Well, it was flat.

Yeah. Well, you're still holding stuff. Do you ever wonder what people say about you at your memorial? I know, it's kind of sad, but I do think about it sometimes. Don't you wish you could have a memorial before you die? I feel-

That's called a birthday party or something. I know it's called something. You're right. You know what you're getting old when someone goes, how old are you? And you go blah, blah, and they go, eh, still kicking. Am I that close to not kicking anymore?

The worst is when they say, you know, you look good for your age. So in other words, you're really old, but you look good. But you're pulling it off. I know, I used to tease Sandler. I don't do it anymore, but I would always say, so you're what? And I would, knowing I'm saying like six years younger.

So you're like 34 right now, right? And he goes, oh, Carmen, you son of a bitch. It's like he's 40, but always go older. Like I just tell people I'm 87, because I want, I just want to be shocked. I want them to go, what? I like to go up to muscular people, you know, that I know, I go, so when did you stop working out?

That's so great. Then you get them at a headlock. Here's one I think we shouldn't do as a society. This is pretty heavy for everyone. Interesting. But every time someone croaks, whatever, delicately put, there's, they put them on their Instagram, you know, and everyone says this really nice things.

They should do that when people are getting toward the end, like, they should see that. I never got the thing about writing on Instagram to someone who's dead or someone who's not there, and they write this long thing. That's for people to say, oh, what a good guy you are. They can't read it. So they would cherish it if they saw it before.

Okay, let me have you, this is, I'm fascinated. I love that. And I'm also fascinated in the general topic is people who have successfully faked their own death and disappeared on planet earth. So if you were gonna fake your own death and really had to get away with it, what would you do?

You have five seconds. Well, I've done it several times. So I know people thought I was dead until I came on here. Your name is Vladimir Koltys. You get a show on the CW. I think I would, remember, what's his name? DC Cooper or something.

He jumped out of the plane. Oh, DB. DB Cooper, yeah. Yeah, that's probably successful. He parachuted out. Yeah, and Andy Kaufman, of course, faked his death. He's still out there somewhere. Is he?

Andy Kaufman, yeah. They say a lot of people are, Elvis. I think I would have to do something with an explosion so that it would seem like there's no way I could've lived. But- No questions. Well, first of all, you want to leave everything at home. So they would think that you couldn't go anywhere

without your credit card or your passport or anything. Yeah, you'd have to. You know, leave it all there. Oh, you did it, oh, okay. Yeah. And then, I think, I think I would almost kill myself. Do you know what I mean?

So I could like come out of a coma later, like in the middle of the woods. Well, you could save amnesia or something. Yeah, see, I could kill myself, do you know what I mean? So I could come out of a coma later, like in the middle of the woods. But you could say you have amnesia or something. Yeah, see I could convince people that I was dead without going anywhere. Do you understand what I'm saying? No, I don't. I don't either, I'm riffing here.

What about the lady that said she had an affair but she just came out and she said, I was attacked, I don't remember anything and she beat herself up. Oh yeah. They bought it for about 10 minutes and they go, hey you want one? You can have one. I'm gonna have one of these.

These are mine now, but I'll give you one. Oh, talk about gorilla testicles. Tasty. Good, let's get that in slow motion, tighten in. Wow. Dana, you haven't had this many carbs in I don't know how many years. I just don't, it would make me sick.

I can't have that much sugar. This is a jelly donut? Or a custard? They look delicious though. Fucking shit, Kevin, this is expensive. Is it talking? This is nice. I could return two of them.

They said if there's any unleft. Are they're sponsored? Oh really, then they're gonna sell them to the next guy? Yeah. Yeah, I get it. But, yeah, I don't know. How would you make it look like you died? Well, it's a trickier question.

I'm sorry I brought it up. It's a skateboarding accident. I went out to skate the desert pipes and then I just disappeared and I thought the coyotes got me and then people didn't know if they meant the coyotes that bring you over the border. And it was just so, yeah.

This is mine. I would introduce to the world that I'm a long distance ocean swimmer. And so for at least three months, I would go out there and I'd swim in the ocean. And then one day I would, you know, have hired some local bandits or whatever, have a rowboat.

Bandits. And I just get in their boat and, you know, I take off my trunks and the flippers and everything. That's a great idea. And then I would just row to another place. Sleeping with the Enemy, remember that movie? Julia Roberts. Yeah.

I took out a clip. She swam off. She did, yeah. I'm more about leaving parts of my body so that they think that, well, that's it. I would take, this is something I really have to sacrifice. No joke. The lower, my jaw. I would rip that out so they have dental sacrifice. No joke. The lower my jaw.

I would rip that out so they have dental records. They know it's me. And where's the rest of the body? Doesn't matter. Does a tooth count or they can't tell? They have to look at your whole jaw. Just the dental, not the dental. But like if you left a tooth, can they tell it's yours?

Yeah, maybe. First of all, I'll put tattoos on all my teeth is like a bit. Then they'll know I have that. Then I just leave one tooth. And then I wanna go, you wanna put that in there? Can I just put that in there and keep it safe? Yeah.

I'll put this on top of here. You know, these are really sweet. I was on a date with this girl and I go, hey, do you want the rest of this pasta? She goes, I don't want the rest of anything, just give me a new one. I was like, wow. this girl and I go, hey, do you want the rest of this pasta? She goes, I don't want the rest of anything. Just give me a new one. I was like, wow. How long did you go out?

Dude, I faked the bathroom and I bounced. No, I didn't. That's a disappearing act. Like I'll just be a guy and then you just bulk ghost out. That's Ruhuhu. How far do you think someone was hustled? How far do you think someone was hustled? What is the record for hustling somebody out of a club? You know how they hustle you out,

they're throwing you out, but then they keep going. They keep hustling. Oh, they hustle you out to the, down La Cienica, out to the 405, they're still hustling. Down to San Vicente and then keep going to the 10. Well, the record is 30 miles. No, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah.

The record. Flat, you would like it. What joke did I think of years the other day? I always tell you the same ones, I'm trying to think of different ones. You always bring up the joke I used to do. You know, I've got a really nice camera, it's one of those black ones. That's because every camera was black back then.

I was like, there's, wha! Back in the day. That was good. The Nestled in the Hills, the hotel. And this is all memorial stuff, you know. You don't do it anymore. Huh? You don't do those anymore?

No. You don't? No, you don't keep stuff like that, do you? Once in a while, if I'm stuck in a jam, I do your jokes. Oh, here's a good story. I ran into David Letterman over the holidays, and he could not be more complimentary. And I never felt like I knew him that much

or that he was a fan of mine, but he was listing stuff. He goes, oh, you did the Mark Twain thing for Lorne. You were the funniest one there. Oh, wow. I love your hiking show. I watch it all the time. Really good, I'm not kidding. It's a really good show.

And he goes, and then I keep quoting your joke, the Lincoln joke. And I hear, what Lincoln joke? He goes, you know, the one where, you know, the one you do, the Lincoln joke? I said, I'm not sure which one you're talking about. You know, the Lincoln joke where I said, I'm not sure which one you're talking about. You know, the Lincoln joke where it goes like this, you know, Abraham Lincoln used to walk to school

every day in the snow, but what they don't tell you is he was late every day. I go, I don't remember that one. He goes, well, I've been giving you credit for it. So I thought, well, maybe I did do that. And then I thought, I'm gonna do that again, man. I'm gonna do that next to my next set. So I go up there and I do it, crickets.

Not one laugh. I don't personally get it. Cause he walks along, he's late every day. I know, but- Well, you don't, you know, you think he's a hero, but you know what? What has to be set up, like it was unbelievable. He walked in a blizzard every day.

You know what I'm saying? He got there, you got there. He was a hero. He had most absences. He needs a much bigger setup. He was tardy. Well, I blizzard every day. He was a hero. He had most absences. He needs a much bigger set up. I'm just quoting how he did it. I knew he was really late. Yeah, we're fixing this joke that Kevin didn't even do. I think our friend David Letterman misremembered it.

I think he would have written it a lot better. I ran into him and he didn't read my resume. A friend of mine gave me a joke. A friend of mine gave me a joke that I was doing, again, at the beginning of my act. Yeah. And I thought it was his, but it turned out that it was like a well-known,

old joke that's been around forever. And it goes something like this. And then you can punch it up afterwards. There's a lot of those. Yeah. We don't know the stock jokes. We don't know where they came from. Yeah.

So this guy, you really have to appreciate things in life, a lot of people don't. Like I know of a guy, he has sex twice a day, he reads three books a week, and he's always working out. Yet here he is still complaining about being in prison. I'm like, really? That's good. That's not yours, is it?

No. That's a good one. That's a good joke. But I thought it was his, and so then when I Googled it, and it's like a joke that's out there. I have this joke that gets such a laugh, I don't know why two Irishmen walk out of a bar. It could happen.

Why does that get such a laugh? I do it as George W. Bush. Because they're all drunks, right? You gotta give a name of the pub. You know, you gotta give it like McSorley's. Well, if I do it as a character, it gets a big laugh. Oh, you do the Irish accent. No, I do George W. Bush.

I said he was a funny, you know. Is it because they're all drunks? Yeah, the core knowledge you'd have to think is they never leave a bar because they're alcoholics, but there's more tea tolers in Ireland than any other country. Really? Yeah, but the ones who drink make up for it.

They love their tea. British people and English people. Let's have a proper tea, huh? Can we have a proper tea? Yes. My mother-in-law is Irish, 94, and she's, everything is tea. She likes a cup of tea.

I'm the worst at British accents. I don't think you are either. I think you're worse than that. At SNL, when they had a table read, and everybody had to be British. Phil Harmon, everybody's doing different, you know, places of England and it comes around to me, all I could do was John Lennon.

Oh, I'm a boo and tom, you know. That's good. All day long. That's what you do. Yeah. And everybody laugh. Here's where I gotta laugh, because they go, you have to do German,

and this one I go, German, and they go, and I think Mike Myers was Hitler and they go to me and I go, mm, mein Führer. Then I gotta laugh, I go, oh. So every time they kept coming back to me, I fucking milked the odd Jew out of it. I was like this, cat.

Meow. Cat likes the milk, I give it to them. Give me cats? Give me the animals? Do I have any animals? I have to ask someone. No, I share a dog named Junebug. Junebug?

Junebug. Nice. Bulldog. Cute. I have a great name for a dog if I ever got one. That's a good idea. What's one of the names? Chowder.

Chowder? Yeah, like clam chowder, but chowder. Oh a good idea. What's one of the names? Chowda. Chowda? Yeah, like clam chowder, but chowda. Oh, that's cute. As they say in Boston, chowda. Yeah, that sounds so much like- Chowda. Chowda. I like boss.

Does anyone know what chowda is? What's up, boss? Hi, boss. Irvine improv. We just keep, I keep playing. Irvine improv, May 10th. Do we watch more clips or what are we doing? Yeah, let's watch a couple more clips.

I'm shooting my special called Loosen the Crotch. Loosen the crotch, where do you see it? Six and eight, they're a Vine Improv. Oh, I thought that was a joke. Loosen the crotch. No, that's it. Oh, that's great. Maybe laugh it.

That's a joke, it's part of a joke. So you're taping it there. Loosen the crotch. Taping it there and then we'll see. Okay, so we're gonna tape it, so show up at the tape. Irvine Improv, May 10th. And let's look at a few more stories and we'll bomb on these and then we'll wrap it up.

Tickets going fast. We'll fade out here, but the next thing you see is him doing stand up. I thought about low ticket warning is a Nevada name for a special. Oh, that's good. Well, Dana had the best title. Tell them your title for a special.

Oh, Critics' Choice. Critics' Choice. Critics' Choice. People think, oh, the Critics love this. But no, it's the title. Yeah, and then Sandler did Certified Fresh. That was kind of- Oh, for tomatoes. Yeah, for tomatoes Sandler did certified fresh. That was kind of- Oh, for tomatoes.

Yeah, for tomatoes. What are you calling- Oh, dental. I've been in- He's on Amazon. Probably six Sandler movies, and combined we got 100% rating. Now combined we got about a 54.

We got nine ungrown ups, eight ungrown ups too. Great. You're still ahead of master's guys. Those tomatoes are harder to get to. Got negative 19. It was so bad that they actually rotten tomatoes like 10 years later, 15 years later, rewrote the review.

Cause then they thought it was much better. And they said it was if it was written by little children. Even if tomatoes turned themselves into ketchup, they were so embarrassed for that movie. I don't know what it was if it was written by little children. Even if tomatoes turned themselves into ketchup, they were so embarrassed for that movie. I don't know what gets into one. ["The Magic of Bet MGM Casino"] Discover the magic of Bet MGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck.

Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer. From roulette to blackjack, watch as a dealer hosts your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you are actually at the casino. The excitement doesn't stop there, with over 3,000 games to choose from, including fan favorites like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz, and more. Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same-day withdrawals if you win. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. You don't want to miss out. Visit betmgm.com for terms and conditions.

19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. If there was a sarin gas attack, where would you go? Oh, I'd end up at the Superfly sign. Do you have an earthquake kit? That's the right one.

It's got my headshot in it. It's Superfly sign. Do you have an earthquake kit? It's got my headshot in it. It's got a couple basics. You got a fire kit? Three Joe Durs. Three Triscuits and a Slim Jim. VHS Joe Durs in there. I hold like this. We got such great food in our earthquake kit.

Oh, what do you have? Some gourmet stuff? Well, not much now, because I've been eating. Oh, you got into it? Don't get into the earthquake kit. Oh man, I love it, man. What do you have in theremet stuff? Well, not much now, because I've been eating. Oh, you got into it? Don't get into the earthquake kit. Oh man, I love it, man. What do you have in there, spaghetti? I replaced it with just popcorn.

It's like styrofoam. But you know, people get those earthquake kits and stuff, and if they put them in the house, how are they gonna get to them? The house is totally collapsed. I would like a buzzer that tells you where the earthquake is gonna be so I can get to a part of the house that would help me.

Because chances are you'll be in your car or whatever. They say this last one, the buzzer went off, but it only gives you eight seconds. Everyone just goes like this for eight seconds. Like, where are you going? What's the plan? They're going, no, no, no. Yeah, you yell no, no, no.

Yeah. But you weren't threatened by the fire. You weren't Dana, cause you live up north. No, it doesn't seem. Not a chance, but I haven't been there. Dana goes, I'm gonna move so far. There's no fire. There's no fire.

They don't know what fire is. We laugh at that. It really makes you realize what's valuable in your life. Yeah. What was it? What'd you realize? Well, I was out of town. What's valuable? I can't remember.

And the fire was coming close to us. We were in evacuation, red flag area. And I called my assistant. I said, would you go to the house and get those external drives I have and my passport? She said, yeah, she got it. Fire's not getting to our house yet. There's no evacuation notice.

So I called her back. Would you go back to the house yet. You know, there's no evacuation notice. So I call her back. Would you go back to the house and less and less valuable stuff? Will you go back to the house, get that Gibson guitar I have and that art set? And then it got to the point with, would you go back to have a mechanical pencil on the desk that I really like?

You know, I like the way it writes. And there's a sandwich in the refrigerator that I made yesterday. Sorry. It's in the salad. And it goes on and on like that. Would you go on, would you take the garbage out while you're there?

Would you go back? It's just inconvenient. Would you go back? Hey, do me a favor, you know, could you get on a plane tomorrow, go to my second home in Arizona, you know, and check and see if the air condition is all. Do me a favor.

Do me a favor. Do me a favor. I was on the road and I got the, do me a solid. This house right here, they had a mansion alert, you remember favor. Do me a favor. I was on the road and I got this house right here. They had a mansion alert. You remember that? I have a mansion app.

Hmm. Woo. Woo. I hit that in the middle of the night. Oh yeah. Amber alert when that thing goes off. I'm more scared than the kid. Just for that short time.

All right. Well, I guess it's been Kevin Nealon. I'm still Kevin Nealon. Oh. I guess it's still Kevin Nealon. There's a new next special. Still Kevin Nealon. Kevin Ir still Kevin Nealon. Oh, I guess you're still Kevin Nealon. There's your next special. Still Kevin Nealon. Kevin Irvine Improv, May 10th.

Tickets are going fast. Tickets are going- Showtimes again? You can get them on kevinnealon.com. Okay. Or you can go to the Irvine Improv and get them on there. Irvine Improv, great room, a lot of fun.

You can eat right there. Javier's, great place, Paul Arn. Cottails. Yeah, I love that place. So good luck with it and I'll see you here at the practice sets and let's hike it, man. Let's go a little steeper next time, don't be a puss. All right.

I couldn't agree more. All right, I'm gonna leave and you guys, you know, leave in about five minutes. Okay, bye guys. Day in Spain. Yeah! Day in Spain. Day in the Carvey.

Woo! Day in the Carvey. Nice. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly, Yeah! Nice play. Dana Carvey. Woo! Dana Carvey. Nice. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.

Mm.