Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #68 - Romance, Fauxmance, or Showmance?

Episode Date: May 16, 2025

David and Dana meet up in studio to talk Tom Cruise and Ana de Armas, dying bees, Diddy, and more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I do believe I'm sitting on your penis. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Cary Grant as a gay, wasn't he gay? I'm not saying anyone's gay, I'm just saying if he was, it would sound like this. My mom. I can't believe it.

I'm sitting on your penis. God, he really amped it up on that one. You know, my mom said, Cary Grant, she said, when I heard he was gay, I knew it because I get nothing from him. She was, I loved him, but I was like, nothing. That's so funny, my mom.

I don't think he's gay. Okay. I think he was. Oh, you. Let's go to the phones. No, let's go to the- Homophobic. YouTube comments.

Homophobic. Why? Is that a real sneeze? That was a good one. No, let's go to the- Homophobic. YouTube comments. Homophobic. Why? Is that a real sneeze? That was a good one. Yeah, I was, look, I was a character actor. So this is two things that are visual about me right now. So this is, I finally, these fucking shoes, nothing against Hoka, I'm gonna try them.

But with the clown shoes with three inches of rubber, there's a point of diminishing returns. There's a point where you bounce all around. So I've got these ones, those things. So I'm walking down the hallway, going to the gig, and they're just walking, and I'm stumbling all over the place and go, well, you know, he's getting a little long in the tubes.

No, I'm not. I got fucked up, you know, Bozo's shoes. So these are 10 years old. Feel how firm the heel is. You wanna touch my heel? Oh, I like that firmness. So sicken 10 years old. Feel how firm the heel is. You wanna touch my heel? Oh, I like that firmness. So sickening, yeah. So I, I'll take your word for it next time.

Oh, how sweet it is. Want you to smell the firmness? Oh, I'm pregnant. Oh, I'm getting a contact high for my ghost tins. All right, so my birthday's coming up. So my wife got me a Present. Okay, don't call it a man purse. It's a man bag So a nurse I've been resistant to one of these things because I felt like I would look like I'm a British postman

Hello, we've got a letter for you, sir from the king, you know So and also just all the way back on for that. This is not a joke, okay, for everybody here. This, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take out all my stuff. So what I do is I have this lightweight puffy jacket and I have pockets and that's my surrogate man purse. So let's put this down for a second and see what I have legit on a regular basis. Remember when you laughed the other day, Heather?

What's in Dana's coat? When I came out like three different, okay. We've got glasses and a pin. We've got, of course, the wallet, another pin. Let's go over here. We have- Money popping out of it. This, oh, this is a travel thing. That looks like a sex toy.

Yeah. The all new Orange Rabbit. No, this is shampoo for getting through airlines. Really? I'll give you a clue. It fits up my ass when I'm on the road. Oakleys, phone. Third glasses.

More glasses. Fourth glasses. Fourth glasses. And then some Post-its and I don't know why. So they were all in my jacket. Now let's see what now Remco's man purse. Santa might be come early for you this year. Yeah, what makes the man purse?

So there we are. Let's see if it can get in here. Now, if I put it in here very slowly, I feel like I'm David Blaine. Just watch, just watch. I'm gonna put it in here. Just watch, just watch. Okay, here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna put this all in here. I can make that shampoo disappear in my butthole. Think, think of, why butt hole? And time. I've had Cary Grant doing his thing and you said butt hole in the first four minutes. So we do this, we take off this jacket that's 12 years old.

Oh, wait a second. The people at home watching the demonstration, just feel it. Okay, it's a real jacket, everyone. Real jacket. You've at home watching the demonstration, just feel it. Okay, it's a real jacket, everyone. Real jacket. You've never met this jacket before. I like a uniform and you're... So now I'm putting on my super cool stolen jean jacket.

Now I'm gonna stand up, Evan, and you'll see a cool guy come in. Oh. What's up, oh Heather gave the right reaction. Okay, everybody cool in here. What's going on? All right, anybody need to get knocked the fuck out anything anybody need anything Yeah, anybody need a couple pairs of glasses Now you're not gonna lose this no way

So, you know, I like that do you yeah, I bet you could honestly I now you're not gonna lose this. No way. So, you know, that kind of thing. I like that. Do you? Yeah, I bet you could, honestly, I thought you were gonna put your jacket into the puffy one, because Bobby, when he rolls his jacket up, he puts it in a little bag this big, his puffy jacket.

It's crazy. I could do that. You could do it, I thought that might be part of the magic. I don't know, so that's my... Ba-da-bam, ba-da-bam, ba-da-bam. Now a word from Fruit Fresh or whatever sponsors. Do you have a story? Cause I have topics.

Do you have a story? Let's go back and forth. Cause it's, you know. Oh yeah. Well, welcome to Superfly. Or whatever it's called. Superfly, that name may be a sunset it. Yeah.

We don't know yet. We got news coming for you guys. We might sunset the name because we unintentionally, I take the blame for it. We don't know yet. We got news coming for you guys. We might sunset the name because we unintentionally, I take the blame for it because I just said Superfly never went, they liked it and I didn't like it. It's great idea, but we might have some news for you by next week. Also, I don't know, do we say anything?

I don't know what to say. Well, no, basically the idea was whatever we do, we're just being honest with the fans. Superfly and Flying the Wall were a little too confusing for people. I actually met one guy in Minneapolis at a corporate date who understood it. Oh yeah, hey, Flying the Wall,

that's the interview one, mostly not on video, and Superfly, but even Rob Lowe went, Superfly? So we may do something with that, but we'll make announcements soon. Right, they might be, beep, beep, merging. Every time, every time, cause I was having an ice cold beer, I'm watching your special,

and every time you did a sound effect, I could be there. And I had a lot of beer that night. I forgot, there's one where I just literally do the sound effects on purpose. No, they were great. I love the way you incorporate them. You don't lean on them.

You're not like my sound effect guy. You know where they help in real life is when I'm checking out at self checkout, I just go like this. Boop, boop, boop. And then it's $100, but I only pay three. So you use it for criminal activity. Okay, I have a whole different way of thinking about it.

So anyway, I saw Dandelion. Oh boy, by the way, I have an announcement. We did a poll on my Instagram, who says Dandelion and who says Dandelion? I said Dana says Dandelion, and we went to the polls and the people have spoken, and it's 57% say Dandelion and we went to the polls and the people have spoken and it's 57% say Dandelion. Can you believe it?

Well, of course. I mean, I went to San Francisco state. I know how to pronounce words. You were right. Yeah. But 43% were wrong. Well, that is a very poor-tocular type of- Talkular. a very portocular type of-

Portocular. Portocular. How do you pronounce it? What does that mean? Some people say particular. Oh yeah, particular. I say portocular. You're getting everyone right, man. You're ahead of the game. Thank you. All right, let's go back to Dan Lyons.

So Dana watched the special. I watched David's special. Talk about jury duty. Talk about a write-off. I watched David's special. Talk about jury duty. Talk about a write-off. I watched it. It's all for work. Okay, go ahead. No, I saw the special.

Oh good, that's a good review. Don't you love that? I've had people come up to me in an airport, I saw your special. And then nothing else. That's it. I get this. Hey, were you in grownups?

I go, thank you. And they go, thank you what? I go, what'd you say? And they go, were you in grownups? I go, yeah. And they go, mm. And I go, I was good in it or? And they're like, hey, you were on Saturday Night Live.

Yeah, thank you. I go, thanks sister. But nothing. Nothing. But look, here's the inside baseball. You can kind of flip the salmon right now. If you're cooking. Everyone's cooking.

Everyone's cooking or hiking. In their car cooking. Or making love while they listen to this. Do they think they put us as background noise when they're going, ee-er, ee-er, ee-er? There's a lot of sex going on with us in the background. This woman said, I don't know why it turns me and my husband on.

Ear, ear, ear, ear. Ha, ha, ha. Made that up. So anyway, a comedian, it's like a surgeon watching a surgeon, you know? They're gonna be, holy shit, you're doing surgery. So I'm just saying, oh, he's got that. I can't get out of my head.

I'm watching someone do, oh, that's a good bit. Oh, he's taking that. Oh my God. Another water hit. Okay, now he's coming up. So I enjoyed it, but I can't watch it like a regular person. I mean, I'm sick in that you watch it because to have someone I like watch it,

someone that's funny, actually funny watch it, it just hit me that I'm horrified by. But it is hard. And I'm sure when I watch it, I go, I go, I'm hitting the water too much. I take a sip of water. Well, they can cut that out. I could have cut it out, but I didn't because

sometimes it looks too jumpy. But I left a few in so people know I do drink water and I don't want them to think I don't. And then I had a set list. On the table. You'll laugh at this. I had a set list. On the table? You'll laugh at this. I had a set list like I do because I wanted it to be like every other stand-up show.

Oh, yeah. And then the director goes or the guy goes, camera guy goes, hey man, I see your set list, it's white. So they brought me blue paper in the back and go write it on here. And I go, I've never had blue paper. I don't want anything different. I wrote it with a magic marker and I couldn't really read it. Classic, don't change anything right before you go out.

That was right before I went out. Wait a minute. So you wrote your set list and never tried it with a magic marker on blue paper. And then when you went out, you looked at it and go, holy shit, I can't read it. Right, because I'm like,

why am I doing this for the camera guy? I don't give a fat fuck if they see my set list on the stool. You go to a concert, it's fun, you see the floor and you see the set list of a band, but I just went along with it to be a great guy because I have fucking great guy syndrome and it sucks sometimes.

And then, but I have it on a monitor. That's the title of your next special. I do have it on a monitor and if I'm stuck, I can look up. I thought it was great. I mean, obviously you killed and the bits were really funny and you were physical. And I mean, you know, and the bits were really funny and you were physical. And I mean, I, you know, stand-up specials are, you know, what do you, I mean, the main thing you want to do

is have fun and be funny. So. I did have that and I did have a good time. I've heard nice things, but you know, you never know what you're hearing. But sometimes when you're on YouTube and Instagram are very direct. They don't beat around the bush.

So again, have you ever met any human being who wrote a nasty thing online? Have you know anyone besides Evan and Greg? Yeah, my two biggest trollers. You suck! Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm feeling better, I'm bringing you down. Shut up, Brant. But people loved it. No, but I think I heard nice things about, and I'm bringing you down. Shut up, Brandt.

But people loved it. No, but I think I heard nice things about it, and I'm glad you watched it, and we'll put it to bed after this, but it was nice to get one out of the way, and then when I go on the road now, and people go, oh, you're going to Omaha, and a lot of people say, should I watch the special first,

or should I come see you on the road first? And that's a tough decision. I would say watch it and then there'll be some repeats because I like to keep some of the ones that really work in there. And then there'll be some new stuff. So. Well, yeah, I think great bits are better

the second, third, fourth time. I do too. If it's a great bit, cause then you're just, you don't. I love, when I see Bobby Lee, I saw him the other night and I'm like with my friend, I go, oh, I want him to do this one, I want him to do this one. And if they don't, I go, hmm.

And if they hit it a little bit different or whatever. It's always gonna be a hair different. But. And some bits expand since you did them. Right. And they're even more polished and you get the edges off and they're better. Well, I used to do, I mean, this goes back since 1983

when I fell in love with the movie Scarface, like with every other comedian at the time. So everyone had a Scarface bit. Mine was Scarface at Thanksgiving dinner, Pasta sweet potatoes. It was a good long bit too, it was a good chunk. Pasta sweet potatoes, but it started out at two minutes to three.

And now sometimes when I played the casino, it was packed in so much energy, I think it was almost a 20 minute bit. You can just keep milking it, it kills. Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? You want me to eat the corn on a cob, man? and so much energy. I think it was almost a 20 minutes. You can just keep milking it, because it kills. Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? You want me to eat the corn on a cob, man? The corn on a cob?

You got the corn in your teeth and the cob. They don't tell you about the cob, man. The cob is worse than the corn. Corn on a cob, that's what you want me to eat, huh? Huh? What are you gonna do? You want me to eat, what you want me to eat? It's at Christmas, at Thanksgiving.

You want me to eat a Jell-O with a walnut inside? So the Jell-O goes down to the walnut and gets stuck in my, a soggies. Oh yeah. So I go, and then he goes crazy on the grandmother who he thinks ate all the sweet potato. I could do this all day.

Grandma, look at you, man. At birthday time, there was a bowl of catechol. I go and set for a smoke. I come back, no catechol, man. You ate all the catechol. I don't believe it. You like to eat, don't you, man? You like to eat?

You like to eat? You like to eat? I see you with the Whitman Sampler. You stick your thumb in the back. You don't get the catechol. Whitman Sampler. You don't get the catechol. You put it right back in the box.

Cause you don't check out a guide inside the Whitman Seminary that guide corresponding guide tells you what a coconut is, the caramel is, you know, you're just digging there like that is like a good. So I'll go on and on and on. So my point was- You don't need any other bits, that thing was just-

Uh, to your point, bits getting longer, extenuating. It's good, because sometimes you do the, they're a little undercooked, because you just thought of them, you go, oh, I'll throw this on. And then you start to work it. I went out last night, because I'm trying to do new stuff,

and try to work stuff. And it is fun. When new bits work, it's great. And when they bomb, it's so disheartening. There's nothing new. And if you have an old bit where you're adding stuff to it, then it's a new bit again.

I would just say this in the modern era, if I was going to engage in this particular activity of the standup special, and let's just say I'm announcing it now, I wear, I solemnly swear to do a special every month for the next 12 months. I will go to a comedy club with a little tiny crew like these two numbskulls over here, these knuckleheads,

and do maybe just two cameras, minimal light, and just do 10 or 12 minutes either crowd work or stuff I'm thinking of in the moment. Oh, and put it out like that? Yeah, a special every month. This idea that two years without David Spade, two years we have to not have David Spade. People can't do it, they're supplicating, they need it.

And also I shot it in fucking Rocktober. So I'm not blaming Amazon because this is just sort of how it goes. Amazon's great. Right, you had the submarine one, you had, what were the ones that were sort of your classic bits for the last two years? Oh, that I the submarine one, you had, what were the ones that were sort of your classic bits for the last two years?

Oh, that I've had those. But then some, you know, I don't want anything sitting on a shelf for eight months. But you know, Hulu, when they came to me, they said, we'll put it out in a year and a half. I'm like, a year and a half? Like, how do I? And do they know that you work with current events

as part of what you do? I mean, we do, part like we do here. Like, it's fun to think of something. And sometimes, there was something last night, I can't remember, but I was like, this is good for a couple, couple weeks, couple months. It's still funny. But then at a certain point, everyone's like,

that's dead, just move on, you know? Yeah, you can just, you can just sort of, although the Menendez brothers, there's lots and lots of jokes in the 90s, then it became cornball, faded away, faded away. Now they're back. Come back. So you never know. It's time to bring out your Menendez.

You know what's funny is that you brought this up that the other day on the news, they go, great news for the Menendez brothers on Good Day LA. And I go, oh what? They go, 50 years with parole. I go, I love when that's good news in your life. 50 years.

Well, the thing is they've done 35. So the guy said 50 now. So 50 makes them eligible. You know, all that good behavior shit. Right, I didn't know until after, right. So they can get out now, you know. Yeah, time served. Are you okay?

You're missing one of your thousand glasses. I don't need notes. I'm going, these are random thoughts as we ping pong around. Where's your baker your thousand glasses? I don't need notes, I'm going, these are random thoughts as we ping pong around. Where's your baker's dozen glasses? I got a trim. You're also wearing them and then you've got four? I got a little haircut and I left some of my other glasses

at Chris Reels' salon. Fucking shit. That's why I was three minutes late. Dude, why are you burying that story? Here's... I went to Rite Aid, I felt I was three minutes late. Dude, why are you burying that story? Here's, why does- I went to Rite Aid. I felt I needed a little trim. I knew I said, okay, Superfly at 10 a.m.

That's on the unimportant list. So let's go to Rite Aid. Let's pick up our meds, go get a little haircut, oil change, no. Here's my thought. Yes. Don't ever deny in life, always go yes. Here's an example.

So Trump gets a $400 million plane from Qatar. He doesn't get up there and go, well, it's not really a gift. I mean, it's a thing they're giving it. It's not really a gift. He just says, they're giving me a gift. It's a beautiful gift. If I don't take the gift, I'd have to a gift. He just says, they're giving me a gift, it's a beautiful gift. If I don't take the gift, I'd have to be stupid.

I'd be very stupid looking. If you think about it, I'd be a stupid person not to take the gift. So a lot of people think it's unconstitutional, but how do you come back at someone who says, yeah, I did it, I got the plane. What are you talking about? If Nixon, going back, if Nixon had said,

of course I told the boys to break into the Democratic National place. I wanted to know what those commie bastards were up to. He never would have got impeached because you don't give him any air. If Bill Clinton, if Bill Clinton had said, instead of I did not have sex with him, I had sex with that mama over and over.

I mean, she was a hot, hot mama and I had a lot of sex. There'd been no room to prosecute. So Trump's genius, if you will, that'll go over half our audience, is never denying just having fun. We're good in a beautiful blend. What do you think of crazy? Hey, you know, and Qatar's like,

we give it to you for free. By the way, Qatar gives away a lot of 747s to a lot of countries. No strings attached. We give you a $400 million plane. We don't expect anything in return. But if you wanted to give us something, we wouldn't turn it down.

Yeah, it's like a nickel to them. That's a Qatarian accent. I know. I agree. Trump acts like it's a slinky. They gave nickel to them. That's a Qatarian accent. I know. He wouldn't. I agree. They, Trump acts like it's a slinky, you know, like they gave it to me. It's a stocking stuffer. But I have to say people, it is a little itchy because you go, what if they have.

What if Qatar says, could we get a couple of your nuclear bombs? Or they just blow it up one day. They got a kill switch in there. Or they have a find your phone on it, you know. Or they stick a it up one day. They got a kill switch in there. Or they have a finer phone on it. Or they stick a little guy in there. They stick a little lean tiny man and Trump's going around the Air Force One

for security purposes. Oh, where the bev card is? What's down here? What's your name? My name is Cocosus. I'm hiding in planes so that later on I will sabotage with little scissors for wires. Got wires.

Well, you're admitting to your crime, you're admitting it, you're not hiding it, so I'm gonna hire you on the spot. You got a job, you're in charge of security. Who are you working for? Hamas and Iran, sobi! Now you're working for the US of A, I'll tell you that much and I'll tell you again

and I know how to tell you. Look at it and think of A, I'll tell you that much and I'll tell you again and I know how to tell you. Look at it and think about it and I'll tell you. Anyway, I don't know if I had anything else. Shit. That's it, that's good. Well, what do you, oh, this was one. Okay. So the family's dressed up, P. Diddy's family

and they look beautiful. We're on a P. Diddy, I love it. They look beautiful and they're coming into the court and they're gorgeous clothes and they're coming in, supporting pops and whatever, yes, watch this. And then they have to hear the testimony. Do they ever kind of slink down in their chairs a little bit? Oh my God.

Jeez, I didn't know dad was that. I didn't know what, I knew he was a record executive, but it's a lot to that job I didn't know what, I knew he was a record executive, but it's a lot to that job I didn't know about. Also that the Cassie, who's with her new husband, and he's got to hear this stuff, he's like, I know you had that one problem in the elevator. It feels like there was a little more going on. I mean, good God to hear that every day like this.

I know it's dark humor, but look, it's our job. But I would say this, a lot of times when someone's caught red-handed, their defense attorney will announce this, and he did it with P. Diddy. Is he a nice guy? That's the best, yes. No. Is he a nasty guy?

Yeah. Can he be mean? Yes. Does he have a temper? Yes. Will he kick women in an elevator? Yes. Yes. But did he commit a temper? Yes. Will he kick women in an elevator? Yes. Yes. But did he commit a crime? Right. I don't think so. Does he like to rub jizz on himself? Possibly. Does that make him a bad guy? Yes.

But should he go to jail? No. Like, come on, he's not a, he's a jerk. He's a monster. He's a horrible person. Should he spend a night in county jail? Absolutely not. He slathers women in baby oil. I wouldn't. And then beats them with a racquetball.

Is he, is that rude? Is it aggressive? Yes. Does he like his girlfriend getting ramrodded? Should he go to prison? No, that's what he likes to do in his spare time. He's a record executive. You don't understand that business.

Does he use household items and tools to do different things at different people? Yes! Does he use a spatula a different way than you would? Yes! We use sponges for different activities. Just because he's adapting obvious household items for sexual purposes does not mean

that my client deserves to go to prison. Does he give sex workers jobs? Yes, he's helping the economy. What about this? Here's, by the way, Cassie's pregnant. Nothing further, Your Honor. Can we riff on this bit longer? Yes.

Does it make us boring? No. It's just us going on and on. Cassie, it helps, I think, to be pregnant because it is a little more sympathy. But you know the baby's like this. This is the first I'm hearing it. The baby's doesn't, oh, the baby's listening.

The baby's inside listening like this. Wait, what happened? Wait, can you back that up? Can you read that one back? Wait, this mom, the one I, okay. Yeah, cause yeah, I'll stop there. That's fine. It was a little, it was a dark territory to go into.

It's a tough list in that trial. Mostly just the idea of the defense of someone with that. And they did it with OJ too. What is the actual, like OJ's was straight up murder. What is the actual thing? Is it sex trafficking? What do they really wanna get? Well, there's a word that I kinda had to look up.

I don't wanna ask the people if they really know what it means. Is it Dan Dan? Racketeering. Oh, racketeering. Rico. I hear Rico a lot. Rico.

The racketeering, that means unlawful activities to procure money, basically a gangster threatening people. Uh-oh, the screen just went lit up. All right, what are we gonna show here? Oh, you want something? No, I don't know, I just saw Google. I don't know, how, we're only supposed to do 30 minutes now. What's better?

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Are we doing this? Are we doing this? And then things start to happen, and then like, oh, we're driving again. Oh, we're at the door making out. We doing this? No, no. So sometimes it's not your fault.

Like, it's just a matter of reps. Like, and then when you really want things to happen, it's like, give me a second, relax. You want your sex life to sound like this. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh. You don't want it to sound like this. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh. Exactly what I was thinking.

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See a website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. So this is Mission Possible, which Tom Cruise and Anna DeArmes, I don't think she's in the movie. There's a romance. Well, she forgot to button her blouse. I'm sorry. Is that a fashion statement?

No, she's horribly embarrassed. I mean, is that a fashion statement? It just looks like a blouse that wasn't buttoned. No, that's what's supposed to be. Tom Cruise. She is a stunner, by the way. What do you think she has on a little white bra? Brawlet. Well, you don't see it, but there was a video of this and he's kind of singing like the blouse on button, She is a stunner by the way. She has on a little white bra. Bra lit.

Well, you don't see it, but there was a video of this and he's kind of singing like, like the blouse on button, like, like the blouse on button. Doodaloo. Doodaloo. That one again. Tom Cruise was singing like, like the blouse on button. Tom Cruise always looks cool.

Take it off. Take it off. Take it off. Stripping down, stripping down. So he's got. Like just the panties in a bra, like the, go ahead. This is coming out next week. I bought tickets.

One, two things about this. One- Mission impossible. Running time, roughly three hours. I'll tell you when I see most of it. I can't wait to go see most of this movie because I do not think I can last with the THX and then they have an ad for Dolby Sound. Guys, I'm not a director.

Who is this ad going to? Guys. Hey, I see it's an ad for Coke, I'll buy Coke. Dolby Sound, I'm like, is it my choice? Don't make an ad, you're wasting your time. I can't pick the sound of the movie. So that, and then you got Nicole Kidman still clunking in in her heels and sitting and watching, like, skip it all. Let's get to the God dang three the movie. So that, and then you got Nicole Kidman still clunking in in her heels and sitting and watching like, skip it all.

Let's get to the God dang three hour movie. Nicole Kidman announced today that she's not going to do another movie next week. She's waiting for the week after? Yeah, she goes every week. I'll say this, there was a point where sound got scary. I don't know if it was THX or Dolby, but if I was in those really tight stadium theaters

with speakers all around, it would kind of... Am I blowing an ear drum to see this fucking movie? But my relationship with Mr. Tom Cruise, I met him, little bit taller, whoops. You were? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I believe that. You're not short. I'm such a huge fan of Tom Cruise.

As times have gone on, I mean, he's done such great stuff. I read for Risky Business, even though I'm older than him. Risky beeswax? That's one of his big ones. And then you look at Tom Cruise being Tom Cruise and his commitment. And then in these last 10 years, he's literally willing to kill himself to entertain it.

Held his breath for 14 minutes, hanging off planes. I just gotta go see it. Cause you know, he's can do himself where he could be dead, David. Yeah, he's turning into like David Blaine in these movies. Yeah, more than the actor. He's like, I'll jump off a 75 foot cliff. Okay, this is what I'm gonna do.

Okay, okay, look, look, look. You see your card? Look at it, look at it. Now put it back anywhere in here. Okay, now, now go walk down there to that 7-Eleven. There's a box of cookies, Oreo cookies. Go look in there and your card will be in there. And it's signed.

Yeah, I love that guy. But he- But I don't blame him. He has a romance with this girl. And we don't know if it's a fomance or maybe even a showmance. Because it seems to percolate around the time movies come out, I have a girlfriend now.

And you gotta check it out. And it just generates attention to the movie. Because they say, Tom has a girlfriend. Tom's movie's coming out next week and they bring, so it's, if it's staged, it's fine. Cause she's gorgeous girl, he should be dating. If he's dating her, it's all fine. But it always happens around a movie.

Around the movie premiere. Yeah, like you don't want to be cynical about it. But she was with Ben Affleck and there was a call and I don't know if it was AI generated, but Affleck called Tom Cruise. Yeah, I got her for about six more weeks. Yeah, we're trending good. Movie's gonna open big, we count two.

Yeah. When do you want her? All right. So a month before Mission Impossible release. Okay, I'll tell Anna. She's good to go. She's good with this. When does tracking come on?

Three weeks before? Okay, that's the latest. Her fee to be your girlfriend before the movie, it's about 300,000 a week. Good with that? Okay, Scientologist, I'm kidding, Tom! Yeah, there's rumors, you know, of agencies out here setting people together

to help both their careers. They did it in the 1950s. They put Marilyn Monroe with Tony Curtis. It's just, it's part of the business. But if they end up married and making a baby, I'm happy for them. Ultimately, when all of this settles, I'm happy for them. Okay, what's the next big story?

What's the big story out there? Probably nothing. Ah. Click the button, push the button, and then the story. Okay, wait, don't click it yet. Let's see what it is. Can you read that, Dana? Well, with that little triangle over the letter A.

19-year-olds. Oh, over. Over 50% of Tommy John surgeries are now. Oh, over 50% of Tommy John surgeries are. Oh, man. 15 and 19-year-olds. Wow, for those at home, it usually happens to pitchers in baseball. They throw so hard, but they're teaching kids,

it throws so hard to get them in the college. It usually happened in the pros after a long time. This is really sad. You rip out, you know, ligaments in your arm and you have to get this rough surgery it takes about a year to heal, right? Well, yeah, it is. And it could be a career-

Is it always the same? Yeah, you don't know. They're taking ligaments and things and reconstructing it. You know, I see helicopter parents, I see parents living through their kids like some frustrated dad who never was a starting pitcher. You will throw hard when I tell you to throw hard. Yes, sir, yes, sir, yes, sir.

You're not gonna get into college with throwing 81. That should not be happening. Right, but there is stakes are high. Now you get that NIL money. You could just make a tidy living going to college now. You know, you get a couple million for four years of college. Like the gymnast, you lose money by, yeah, NIH.

Do you own your image and likeness, David? Do you have an NIL, right? No, I have a mirror. Do we own our image and likeness, Greg? I don't think we do. Do we own it? In the world? Could I monetize this? Would you sell your image and likeness for $1,000 to AI?

No, what would I net, 300? 1,000 cash, 1,000 in Trump Bitcoins. Hey man. You better do a lot of coins. Okay, what's the next one? And you look and you think. I used to play baseball. So that story really hit home with me.

I used to be able to throw all the way from catcher to almost a second base. Track and field, 427 mile at age 17. Boop. Why'd you say 427? Good job. Sorry. People always say you're good at running.

Excuse me. No, that wasn't that good. There were kids breaking four minutes at senior and high school. Okay, well read this one, let's see. Multi-million dollar life insurance policy unpaid because COVID backs experimental. Oh, this is interesting, play this one, let's see. Multi-million dollar life insurance policy unpaid because COVID-vax experimental. Oh, this is interesting, play this one.

In France, there was an elderly wealthy man who got off life insurance for millions of dollars. He got the COVID vaccine and he died. So the life insurance company is not paying out because they decided that the COVID vaccine is a medical experiment and death from a medical experiment is not a covered entity. Furthermore, even the judge says that the side effects from the vaccine are well known, they've been made public.

There's absolutely no way that this gentleman could not have known the side effects from the vaccine are well known. They've been made public. There's absolutely no way that this gentleman could not have known the side effects. He willingly chose to get the vaccine and he died as a result. Is she a puppet on his lap or something? It's an odd shot. It's a suicide. It's a little funny.

Oh, did you hear that? The stuff where you said all about the things. And suicides along with that experiment. They said it's a suicide because he knew the risks of taking a shot. How many die straight up? I know there's side effects with people and heart stuff and all that,

but how many people just die straight up taking a shot? I've never heard a scenario where someone had a life insurance policy and then they got the shot, then they died and they go, you knew what you're getting into. So to call it suicide is a little nuts, I think. What page of the contract was medical experiments are exempted from this policy?

I mean, read the policy. You kind of go medical experiments. I know all insurance tries to wiggle out of pretty much everything, but that one sort of threw me off. And what it is is this is a story, and then there's a woman doing it on her story and she just reacting to it. So that's why there's two people.

I've had experiences with insurance companies, good and bad. I want to demonize the whole industry. No. But generally speaking, it's a nasty necessary business that you have to pay these premiums for the what if, what if, what if. Sure.

And then it's a wrestling match to get paid. But I haven't, you know, I've had one bad experience with that, but I haven't, you know, I've had one bad experience with that, but, and it was about, you know, when I sued you. Right. Yeah. Remember that loss. Because I stepped on your toe.

Because you couldn't get on my driveway. Well, I'm indemnified. I mean, I have so much injury insurance for trying to make it down into this labyrinth cave and all the stairs. Do you think, do you have insurance for when you pull muscles from carrying the show? Who says I carry the show?

I just did. Whoops. No, you, we sometimes you're a little sleepy. You've been coming off the road, you know, on your red eye and you've got a little blood sugar and a bad back and that's when I carry the load. I go by this, if Dana's on Fuego, let's sit back and watch, because it's great.

What's Fuego? Fire. Hey man. Dana's on fire, he came in on coming home. I was SIL when I came here today. What's that mean? Sorry, I'm late. I was really SIL.

I was SIL. You were even called. This will be launched, but by the end of this week, it'll be trending on Daily Mail. Oh man, I'm SIL. I was SIL. You were even called. This will be launched, but by the end of this week, it'll be trending on Daily Mail. Oh man, I'm SIL. I'm SIL. Dana Carvey announces SIL. Well, I'm never-

Oh, I know what this is. Can we show this clip? Yeah. We can, right? We'll see what happens. They'll let us show it. Can I just set it up for a second? This is Dana and I, yeah, set it up.

What are you doing? I'm sorry, Dana. Yeah, this is SNL. I forgot about this. Someone sent it to me, but Michael J. Fox is the host. Kevin Nealon is playing- Doc. Doc.

And then I did a kind of a too hyperactive Michael J. Fox. And I played him to him. So I think it's good to know what's going on. You can't do the show. Michael, come here, tell him. Michael, we can't stop you, man. Who the hell are you? I'm you, I'm Michael J. Fox. I just came from 90 Minutes in the Future. The show's a complete dud. It's funny.

What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? It's gonna be a great show. Michael, can't you hear that last joke? Man, it bombed. All right, okay, all right, how about my next joke? All that bombs too.

He's pretty good as a kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid.

He's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. show. Michael, can't you hear that last joke? Man, it bombs! All right, okay, all right, but how about my next joke? He's pretty good, is it? Yeah, he's good. Okay, I'm also excited because tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day and maybe instead of saying top of the morning to you, I could say something like top of the evening to you. That's the best joke you got! I can say something like, toughly aimed into you. That's the best joke you got. That wasn't even a joke.

You got help? No. Michael, there's no time to lose. Wait, where are we going? We gotta go back. All right? We gotta go back and stop you before you host the show.

That's good premise. Then we go back in time. Where did you go after that? I think we went back in time and he starts the monologue again. Oh, that's funny. That I had forgotten about, which is kind of eerie. I remember Michael J. Fox on the show

and I remember doing all these different things. I forgot about this monologue. He did a good one where they did the child stars robbing people back then. Yeah, yeah. Child stars robbing people, I think Smigel wrote it. It was funny. Who did you play in that?

Do you remember? Were you David Cassidy or something? I think I was David Cassidy, yeah. It was funny. Who did you play in that? Do you remember? Were you David Cassidy or something? I think I was David Cassidy. Yeah. I was either David Cassidy or- Oh yeah. He was Danny Bonaduce, I think. That's what we call now our new Blast from the Past segment.

Where we show you things from decades ago. If we're allowed to show that, Saturday Night Live will like sue us and block it from you too. Okay, what is this next one? This is, this is bad. I don't even know what that is. It's a mixture of fun stories and heavy stories.

This is bad, that's not a cheerful- Oh, should we even show this? Oh! You're always talking about bees. Oh yeah. Well, I liked your beekeeper- Bees are dropping. Jason Straight.

... impact all of the US, it's bees, called the backbone of agriculture. I call them that. Responsible for pollinating in this more than a third of the nation's crops. CBS is- These horny insects. Bees are croaking.

They're pollinating more than a third of them. They should be like a- The golden disaster looked like in the US beekeeping industry. Each of these hives can hold as many as 80,000 bees. But for reasons no one- It's a pretty good holder. A lot of bee loss out there. We need bees, Dana. I know. remember Jerry Seinfeld's bee story? You know, it's funny because bees, it's not funny,

but when I heard the noise of the machines, I thought it was bees inside there. And I was like, get out of there, dude. But yeah, the bees are the backbone, or whatever they say, but I said, I always say. Our ecosystem. Right, they really are. So if I keep hearing this,

that bees are dropping like flies and they, and we need them, not just for honey. You would think that, cause you're not like thinking straight. I'm not thinking. You're very surfacey. I'm just trying to think when I'll drop a Trump next in the podcast.

How do you work Trump into the bees? I work the beekeeper. A lot of bees, a lot of bees. You know, they make honeycomb. They love honeycomb. I love honeycomb. And they made a cereal. It's great.

It's done by Post. I think they made honeycomb cereal. Very popular. You know what the only thing better than bees, honey, is Trump's new honey. He makes honey now. Trump's new honey. We make honey now. Trump's new honey. We make honey, we make bitcoins, we make it all.

He's in every business now. I'll do Biden too, if you want. Biden never should have said, he never should have denied, he just should have come out there and go, he should have said it, you know, year or two, I'm out of my mind, I can't put two words together. I can still do the job. I got my son Hunter a job in Baruchma.

He doesn't know anything about it. It's what a dad does. Come on, I'm clearly out of my mind. He would have got reelected just by not pushing back. Right, just roll with it. Yeah, and the people up front should have said, no, he's in packed and I swear, giving him oxygen and a B12 shot

before we stick him out of here. They said, you didn't know who George Clooney was. He goes, well, come on, no one's seen him since ER. And they go, oh, that's funny. Yeah, why are they listening to George Clooney? He was on the ER show. Come on, before that he was on Facts Alive. Everybody knows that.

Come on, it's not a rocket science. Facts Alive, Facts Alive is George Clooney. I was the president, I was the clearest of all. Now I'm out of my mind, I can't put too much, if he'd said that, he'd be president. It would be funnier, definitely. Okay, so in summary, on the Beekeeper. So, oh yeah, you said the Beekeeper,

you saw in this program. Which bit in your special, from your feedback, either online or with friends, was the one that landed, was it the porn on the airlines or? Oh, porn is good. Or B, porn always does well. The Beekeepers?

Beekeeper, they're surprised I did Jason Statham sounding like, I'm the Beekeeper, I keep the bees. And if I sting you. It's actually really good. It's not bad. You've got a good tone in there. Because they don't see it coming,

because it's all weird. Yeah, I see, I like that, because it's just, why does everything have to be exactly current? Everyone knows Jason Stratum. It's really about him as a movie star. It's about being on movies. And who he is.

And on an airplane, and you're trying to find a movie, and they're all lame, and then it says, New Arrivals, and I go, I don't think you can call Ferngully a new arrival anymore, but thank you. And then I say, so I watched the Beekeeper. Anyway, it's a long bit, it's well worth it.

It's at 1410 in the special. But I, you know, when you think about action stars and stuff and you're just a pure action star, like Jason Stratum, there's something just fun and funny. It's funny how tough he is, yeah. Do you like to dance? Cause I like to dance. Every, at the first minute of any movie with him,

I go, don't befriend him. Cause he's, he's a beekeeper with the bees living on a farm away from the FBI with a nice family. I'm like, well, they're getting gunned down soon. And lo and behold, yeah, they got shot. Okay. Pop quiz for everyone in the room. Action movie, somewhat of an older guy, but not old, old. Greatest speech in an action movie over the last 20 years

from the kick-ass guy. Dirty Harry maybe? Liam Neeson Taken. Yeah. I have skills I've acquired to make me a nightmare for a person like you. I thought that speech, when that speech came out in that movie Taken, and then everybody tried

to make action movies, but no one had a speech like that. He's so good at it. Cause they take his daughter and he's, this is the thing that I love in movies. He's not only not afraid, he just can't wait to kick the guy. There's no sense that he's not, I have skills I've acquired to make me a nightmare. I will find you, I'll hunt you down and I'll kill you.

I will kill you. It's so matter of fact where will you, if someone kidnaps someone you love, what would you say on the phone? Start crying. How would that sound? No, I like when the guy goes, good luck. And then he keeps playing it.

Good luck. And then he goes, some guy goes, taxi. And he goes, that's the good luck voice. I go, that was a tough jump. Where in no country for old men. Oh yeah, he's weird too. Josh Brolin is on the phone and he's being threatened by Javier Bardan.

Yeah. And he goes, he says, you won't have to find me. I'm gonna make you my special project. And hung up the phone. It's cathartic because they're so sure of themselves. You won't have to find me. I'm gonna make you my special project." And hung up the phone. It's cathartic because they're so sure of themselves. He didn't make it in the movie. That's a whole nother story.

Oh, Breaking Bad when he tells the wife, she goes, aren't you worried about danger? And he goes, I am the danger. Right, remember that? Yes, the line is in movies is, I'm not gonna worry about what they're gonna do to me, they're gonna worry about what I'm gonna do to them. That's another one that's,

that's what I think about before I go out in front of an audience doing standup. When you say- I don't worry about their response, I worry about what I'm gonna do to them. That's my real talking point. Yesterday, Dana called me, he goes, I think I'm gonna walk over to Koi. I go, good luck.

He goes, what does that mean? I go, good luck. Okay, this- I have an army of 200 people surrounding your house. Good luck. You make daddy happy. Well, there's actually 3000 with grenade launchers and Jets are on their way. Good luck.

You made daddy even more happy. How do I make you unhappy? Yeah. And your waiter, there you go. I'd like the quinoa crab cakes and some sushi. And the waiter goes, good luck. And he go, good luck getting my order or and everyone just says good luck now.

You triggered me now. I was doing Scarface in master disguise and the guys come around with hors d'oeuvres and he goes, crab cakes? I said, what you're out to do, they should be called crabby cakes. It's such a bad joke that I love it. No, I'll take it.

This guy's supposed to get mad. Hey, don't say that about my crab cakes. They're not crabby cakes. I'll be saying that next time I order crab cakes. ["The Daily Show Theme"] Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with LiveDealer. From roulette to blackjack, watch as a dealer hosts your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you are actually at the casino. The excitement doesn't stop there. With over 3000 games to choose from, including fan favorites like Cash Eruption, UFC blitz, and more. Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same day withdrawals if you win.

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This is the book of David Spade's quips. Can we have it on the podcast? Go ahead. If someone's threatening someone, the person who's very brave always says, good luck, page 382. David Spade, yeah, on this date. Good luck.

They already know it's life from New York, right? My joke was ruined if we had a book of David Spade, every bit you've ever done. That's a good, you know what? Well, I'm gonna make that, I can refer that. Listen to my recorder rewinding, David. Good luck. This is a good one.

I am the beekeeper. Listen, ready? Good luck. Good luck. Because it's on a table? Good luck. He keeps playing it luck. Good luck. Good luck. Because it's on a table. Good luck. He keeps playing it, remember? To hear it.

I didn't see the beat. He rewinds it. No, that's the fucking, I'm doing Liam Neeson now. Oh, take it. Good luck. My impressions are so bad, you don't even know what movie I'm doing. We need a little bit of an Irish too. I have skills I've acquired.

Well, no, that's the guy. That make me a nightmare. And all the bad guys in movies, because everyone's scared of being racist, is that's why superhero movies, the bad guys are made up monsters. In space movies, they're aliens. So that's the safest way to go.

If you say any country, any ethnicity, then everyone goes, but taken they were, where were they from? Like Kazakhstan, like- You know, it's an indescript middle, you can do Russian, this and that. This is, I'll just make an observation if I can. As a kid, I realized at one point

that the bad guys were always incredibly happy and the good guys were tortured. Oh, Mr. Bond. When this bomb explodes, you'll explode. Be a bad guy. That's the happy guy. That is, remember when Goldfinger goes, there's sharks down there and he's about to drop Bond in.

He goes, don't worry, Mr. Bond. They only eat secret agents. And he laughs. Oh yeah. And the other one, he goes, the laser's gonna come up to his balls. Oh, his ball sack, Mr. Bond, they only eat secret agents. And he laughs. Oh yeah, and the other one, he goes, the laser's gonna come up to his balls. Oh, his ballsack, yeah. Goldfinger, what do you want me to do? What do I do?

What do you want me to do? And he goes, I want you to die, Mr. Bond. Sounds like love it. It sounds like love it. I want you to die. But anyway, there is something about people, narcissists, sort of proactive narcissists that are just sort of happy. They just insult people and they're rude and aggressive. And then the

people pleaser in the empaths are like, I'm sorry, I hurt your feeling. That's us. That's like a little sketch I did. Now there's a skim store near me now and I can't stand it, but Kim Kardashian wrapped her Lamborghini in skims underpants. Why is this a story? Is that just a picture? When Kim... No, here's the back that would be like the back of the underpants.

Here's my underpants. I was posing like that this morning. Does that hurt your back? Was it? Well, she looks cute. I mean, it is a Lamborghini, it is her, she's cute. Is that how you drive with your feet up? Okay, well, Skims, I don't know what it is, underpants? Skims is basically, it was called Spanx.

So they took, they stole the idea of Spanx, which is just kind of a lightweight unitar that will bring your tummy in. I have men's Spanx. I'm wearing a Spanx bodysuit right now. And then they cleverly renamed it and kind of took that product and made it their own. And now they're billionaires.

Yeah. She's doing just fine. Okay, we'll do another one. Oh, we can wrap it up soon by the way. How long have we gone? We've done almost an hour. Fuck! Why is that good or bad?

Well, this guy's talented. Let's get this guy on AGT. Let's make this a two-parter. This is when you go, oh, we can do that probably. That's what we do. Oh, that's a great idea. Just keep going. And just get five of them

and then have a magic edit man make episodes out of them. Greg will call us up. Hey, I just need you guys to do some intros. That wasn't you. So I don't have a Greg yet. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. When is the last time you dressed like Garth? Last night.

Last night? For the wife? No, I'm doing a private event on the weekend and they asked me if I will dress up as Garth and come out to Bohemian Rhapsody. So it's for a good cause. I love it. So I said, I'll do it, but I wanna be able,

one, don't make the Garth clothes too tight cause all this stuff is always very loose. You should rip it off. Two is, and I don't know if they understand this, I want a wig where it just fits on and the bangs cover it. Otherwise you'd have to do lace and gluing and pinning. So I said, as long as I can become Garth in two minutes, go out and go like this.

And then they have a traction guy and sort of a ice bath after that. And then I do stand up later. So I'll be in it. Oh, you're gonna flip your head around. Well, I'm gonna be very careful, David, at this point in my existence. It hurt me then when I did Garth in the car.

Can you do the Super Bowl commercial? Maybe, if I made it to the 50th, they wanted us to do Garth. Oh yeah, you didn't do that. Cha, ha, as if. Well. Garth is my age, everyone relax. Any corporate gigs, it's funny, they go, oh, you're gonna bring you over here, Well, Garth is my age, everyone relax.

Any corporate gigs, it's funny they go, you're gonna bring you over here, you're gonna host the auction, you're gonna try to raise some money for this charity. I'm like, check, come over here, do your act, come over here, we got some bumper cars and we throw pies at you and then my niece is gonna shove an ice cream cone in your face.

I'm like, okay, sounds good. I have all that. Do you have my Slim Jims and Triscuits backstage? You're like, yep, all good. I get into Slim Jims and Triscuits backstage? Like, yep, all good. I get into the area where I'm gonna work at four and I get out of that area at 10.30. And I'm doing tech checks, this, I'm optioning. 18 and a half hours.

Oh yeah, no, yeah. No, and then at the end of the night, seven hours after they have 4,000 drinks, it's now, and now the comedy styling is, can you do 45 now? It's a six hour show. The best is if you're surprised, you know, you've been to these corporate gigs,

it's like an eight hour, you know, they're showing graphs and charts. And then they go, all right guys, go have fun. And they go, we have a special guest. I'm going, are we out of here yet? And they go, David Spade, you know him from Emperor's New Groove and Benchwarmers. And they go, wait, how long's this guy going?

And I'm like this. Vroom, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And everyone goes, what's happening? And the CEO is like, laugh, don't be rude. But they tack you on at the end sometimes. Well, they want, they don't want any political humor. My stuff's not really, so that wipes out a lot of my act. With all your impressions?

No, no impressions, nothing political. But you're not taking a big stance. So I have to dig through my suitcase. The best thing you can hear, I'll just give you inside baseball, for a big ballroom, a corporate date where they're drunk and tired, when they kind of, you're contracted

into a certain amount of time, and they go, you could just do 25. That's great, that's all they need. That's smart, if the audience is dead at that point and they go, you could just do 25. That's great. That's all they need. If the audience is dead at that point and they're thinking about getting to their car or using the bathroom, they don't. They like to see someone from TV in their room.

They're like, this is fun. You came all the way here and then you do your stuff. And then after a while they go, I got to feel for it. And then you go, got it, let's take off. Where does that come from? I got to feel for it. I got to feel for it. Oh, I got gotta feel for it. I gotta feel for it. Oh, I gotta feel for it.

That's the name of your tour. Yeah. You gonna announce some dates? Coming up, Omaha, three cities in Ohio. Did you know there's three cities in Ohio? Three cities in Ohio, Dayton, Chicago, and Poughkeepsie. Chicago. What a fucking idiot.

There's one called Newark, Ohio. Cleveland. There's not a date in Ohio? There is, that's not where I'm going. I'm going Cleveland, Cincy, where my mom is from. Chicago, Illinois. Cincinnati and Newark, where they're working on building an airport that doesn't work there.

So they can be like the other Newark. Are you, oh, I know. Who's gonna go into that? I don't like to fly anyway. So why go in? It's a little iffy, but it's open. You know, the radar goes down once in a while. The runway, look, if we had our druthers,

it'd be twice as long. But- Would I use it personally? No. Let's book your flight in and out of Newark. Yeah, I mean, it works a lot of the time, so you should go. Yeah, I mean, is it scary?

Yes. Is it unsafe? Yes. the time, so you should go. Yeah. I mean, is it scary? Yes. Is it unsafe? Yes. Do you usually make it? Yes. Sometimes not? Yes. Is the runway really too short for the aircraft?

Yes. Can they apply brakes? Yes. Are the landings especially hard because of the short runways? Yes. So anyway, there's a non-stop direct from Newark. Yes.

What? Are pilots terrified to land there? Yes. Does anyone that knows anything about aviation, are they scared? Yes. Do the pilots wear adult diapers while they're coming into Newark?

Yes. Will we lie consistently to make sure you still go there? Yes. Will the flight attendants pretend to be smiling while they're terrified on the climb in and climb out? Yes. If you're 10 hours late, will you get a free drink?

No. And when we hit turbulence, we will especially tell the flight attendants to serve lunch and bring the drinks out. When we say we appreciate your patience, do we appreciate it? No. Don't you love it when it gets really turbulent

and they're still just bored? I go, sit down. This is nerve wracking. I know they're like this, everything's, I do this all the time. Yeah, well, this is a little chop, fine. You're on water, right? I hate the feeling, I go, I like it.

It's like a roller coaster. I go, shut the fuck up. You don't like it. No one likes it. Well, what I've done lately is I have a book and it's a World War II book and it's about people flying into Germany on B-17s taking flak. And I just think I'm not, I'm not,

everyone in that B-17 would love to be in this modern jet. I have a pee pad, like a dog, and I put it under my seat and I go. You actually have no fear of flying. I've seen you. I do, I'm scared of them. You don't, you just don't. I love to. You're good. You know me, I'm studying the engine,

the size of the engine, the metrics. I'm studying the weather. I mean, I'm just, I'm kind of nutty. I'm out there helping them start the prop. Hahahaha. All right, I think you should end on that. Well, that, you have a lot of sound effects I've not heard. The prop plane.

Do it again. It's in the jet ski family. Here's the jet ski. It's water in the car. I'm going to do sound effect-y in my act, but for today, it would be like this. Eh-er, eh-er, eh-er. Er-eh. Glug, glug, glug. Glug, glug, glug.

Eew. Beep. Beep. All right, we appreciate you joining us for an extended version of Superfly. We're gonna charge you more. We were supposed to, our mothership company wanted us to do 30.

Well, we messed up once again. They'll always be at least 30, but we always go long. We goof around. Because we love you. We love the crowd. For listening or watching. We love the comments, even the mean ones. Actually, I don't like them.

But I'm not afraid to block someone though. No, actually I get a little charged out of it. Hey man, the mean comments tell you, I'll do it as Owen Wilson. Hey man, the mean comments tell you more about the people, the writing them than actually anything to do with you. Look at Greg's eyes are darting like they don't know who makes the comments, do they? Greg is trying to catch a flight to a basketball camp.

We can wrap it up. Thanks for watching and listening and we'll see you next week. We'd like to thank Heather, Evan, and Greg for being our audience. You can cut that out. I'm trying to throw him a ball. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.

Mmm. Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it. Mm.