Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #69 - Housekeeping

Episode Date: May 23, 2025

The guys chat about long standing ovations, puffy eyes, AI, and much more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know, a couple summers ago, my wife and I were out tooling around looking for a place to have a good time. And we didn't want to stay in a hotel. So we actually got an Airbnb in this certain location and I loved it. It was great. There's a little pad with a key in it. You know, you get directions, you go, you open it up, you get the code, you open up, you get the key, you go in and the place is spotless. Welcome to the place.

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Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Let's do a high five before we... No, you gotta go backwards. You to get over to where my hand is. Fool. What's wrong with your brain? I'm not good. Oh my God. I can never do the weather. Hope we have a good podcast. Good one. Hey, wow, sweet.

Geez, I'm sorry I have giant hands, I apologize. No, mine are bigger. Look. Ah. If you ever take a picture of your wiener, really put it right in the camera like that. You like that? And then it looks normal.

Well, I just want to bet with Heather that you would say wiener. Neatly. Heather, you owe me. No, listen, I have bigger fish to fry. I'm going to start off with a story. I want to hear your story. And you know what?

I'm not going to try to sabotage you by interrupting you constantly. Okay. I'll interrupt yours though. Okay, ready? All right. Here's what happened. All right. I have a roller on the ground like this for like my neck.

So I was laying on it in the middle of the day for no reason, just to open up the excruciating pain. I'm constantly in, even though people in the comments feel free to poke at me, it's fine. You know, I'm used to it. I'm like Rudy, you know, I take it. So here I am, laying there like this. And then a housekeeper that has been here for years

comes in and she said, she said, David, do you wear a sleep mask at night? And I said, no. Why'd you find one? She goes, no, but do you wear pads on your eyes or something when you sleep? And I go, no.

Where's she going with this? You will never know. Because she goes, oh. I think I know. Because I saw you on Jimmy Fallon and you look so puffy and your eyes are such big bags. I thought, oh my God, what's going on? What did you say to me?

Why would you jump to that from that? Why would I even connect that? And I go, no, I was fine. And then she goes, oh, I just thought, oh, maybe you drank all night. Maybe you stayed up all night or maybe you haven't gone to bed in weeks. I go, no, I was fine. And then she goes, oh, I just thought, oh, maybe you drank all night. Maybe you stayed up all night or maybe you haven't gone to bed in weeks. I go, no, I didn't. You're not exaggerating.

I'm not really exaggerating. And I go, no, I didn't really do anything. I had dinner with Nate and I went to bed and she goes, oh, and then it's not over. We walk outside. It was kind of dim in my room. We get in the light hallway and she goes, oh, there they are again. What? What are they? The bags? Yeah, like a magic trick. Oh, hey. Like she went like that, pulled them up. I go, yeah, they're always here. And she goes, and then she's like, like, I'll mind my own business now. But then all day I'm like this.

Well, that literally, we had Larry David on a couple of weeks ago on our sister podcast and that literally could be a, you know, a curb episode. The over familiar housekeeper is very personal. Are you going to wear those jeans? We had one who spoke mostly Spanish. I don't know if your housekeeper. Yeah, she can do both. In California.

She can't? No. She can't? She can. Well, I- Quick fix. I visited you a lot over there and you know, I'd run into the hallway and stuff and she'd go,

huh, do you put a nice cold compress on underneath your eyes? Cause you don't have anything going on. No, she'd no, no, no. She says, is Dana okay? And I go, why? She goes, just want to know if he's okay. Cause I just took a glance and it's probably not my business.

I go, oh, it's a hundred percent not. And she goes, I just wonder. Cause his hair is a little frizzy today. Well, maybe she's lost her calling. She should be a life coach. Now, sometimes she goes like this, your shirt is a little wrinkly, so, but this is what you wore and you picked to wear.

And I go, mm-hmm. Okay. Well, I'm kind of disorganized. You may have noticed and, um, well, your house looks like a mess behind you. Well, yeah, I know this. Well, I am, I'm under house arrest. So this is where I am. Obviously I'm wearing an ankle thing.

I can't leave this room. I mean, no one would try to, you know, the thing about this though, some people said, Oh, it's not good to have a door, but I feel like it's kind of like tension. Like is something going to come through that door? Sure. You know what I mean? Everyone's thinking that in the comments, but sometimes when I was foolish, I had a little extra shackles in my pocket and I go to the ATM and my jeans. I didn't really, a lot of times my pants would go into the laundry with lots of twenties and tens in the pocket. Thousands. And then they go through the dryer and then so I'd go down there and she would, she's incredibly sweet, totally honest. She would

line them up on top of the dryer, like all these dollar bills or whatever. Oh. Yeah. You wanna know weird or spade? When I was probably 11 or 12, I would get all my money, obviously bored. Dad's gone, what do I do? So I would take the spritzer from the iron, and I'd go on them, and then I would iron them, and I'd spray a little water on them, iron them flat.

I like them nice and crispy. And then, if that wasn't weird enough, by the way, should have been an insane asylum. Then I'd go to the top of the stairs and I'd let them go and they go, all the way to the front door. Is that crazy? And Brian would walk in, deesh, grab one. Yeah, I was a bus boy and I'd get paid, you know,

maybe 10 bucks. So they just came out crinkly and I just throw them in a basket and everyone thought I had a lot of money, but it was all ones. It was like $60. Do you want to hear about my travel? Yeah, let's hear about your travel while we got you. I'll just go through them.

Here we go. Going to Chicago with my wife. So we go to the airport because we have our cars. Chicago, what's the real pronunciation? I think you said Chicago with my wife. So we go to the airport because we have our cars. Chicago, what's the real pronunciation? I think you said Chicago instead of Chicago. Chicago, I call it Chicago. So we get to the airport, flight's getting, we're getting a little late and we go round and round

and round and round and round in the parking garage. She's following me, long story short. There's no parking unless you park where electric cars could park. Now I have LAX. I'm sorry. I'm interrupting. Oh, you're on your way there.

Okay. We drove there and then we went into the parking garage next to United and every single thing was taken except there were some open if you had an electric car. Now I have a hybrid. My wife has a regular car, just a dirty car, a Volvo. But so we just decided we're going to park and it said $250 minimum a day. So we thought we'd come back either with them towed or like a $5,000 bill, but they were left. So that was the way.

Wait, wait, $250 minimum fine a day. Well, hybrid, I would count in my head. Yeah, so I don't really understand those because what, you plug them in, they go away for a week and they're still plugged in? I mean, so I didn't really get how they work. It takes that long to charge one. So that was a little stressful.

Now this has never happened before. We go through the security. I know people have security jokes. I go through, I look back, there's the little cartoon person, and it's got a big red block over my crotch, just a big red square. My wife comes through behind me, same thing, big red square. We have two people in front of us kind of going, huh, would you, they asked me, would you like to go to a private room for a pat down? I said, no, I'm married. I said, no.

They asked my wife too. We don't. We just thought it was funny. I don't want to exaggerate for comic purposes. I think it was a six to seven minute pat down. You had to turn away, put one foot forward and crouch down. Then they're up underneath. There's nothing grabbing, grinding, looking.

And there were people who kind of thought I was your friend from flying on the wall. And they're looking, there's a little crowd gathering. They're patting, then they come to the front boom, boom, boom, grab, boom, boom. So that was kind of exciting. At the same time, it's happening to my wife. So the both of us are just doing this grope and dance.

And this shocked me as I'm leaving the guy who patted me down lit up a cigarette. I go, dude, this is an airport. Did you know what you should have said? Can I just pat down my wife and we'll let you know what happens because what was the big square in your crotch? What do you think? What's the thing? We're hiding a gun in her pants or explosive device. I mean, we don't look like that. I mean, I did say to him at the end, because I get a little passive aggressive sometimes, I said, because I felt there was one group that was for him.

One too many. There was one squeeze. One for the team. Yeah, one for him. It was a little bit. So I said, I just, are you happy? I said, I wasn't, I go, are you happy? Ah, you gave him that one.

And he goes, you kind of nodded. And then I high fived his blue gloves. Ah. Yeah. And then I smelled it. He goes, sometimes the house wins. I didn't do that. Okay. You get to grab your balls.

Yeah, I haven't, I told you Dana, they go like this, back, I'm going to go to your crotchal area. Yeah, in the back of the hand. You want the back of the hand? I go, let's go front. Oh, you just give them, give them everything. Yeah, I go, let's have some fun. Come on. Okay.

So this part is not an exaggeration either. So we fly to, we fly to Chicago. We're coming in. Chicago now. St. Louis had a tornado and blew up a dust storm. So as we're flying, we made all the news. We're just, we see it in the distance from the plane. It's, it's a hundred miles wide and 20 miles tall of dust. It envelops Chicago. There's tornadoes

and thunderstorms and 16 mile an hour gusts. So the guy's like, we're going to have you ground in a minute. We've got a dust storm, tornadoes, thunderstorms, winds out of the Southwest that's gusting to 70 miles an hour. right off the ground in just a minute. So when we were coming into Chicago, we couldn't even see it. It was so covered with dirt. And it was a little light chop. You wouldn't have liked it. Little dirty air, literally.

Little dirty air. I will add in this part of your story. Dana does not love flying. And you add in all this chaos. What was Paula doing? Paula is the opposite of me. She is so relaxed. Because on the way back to LAX, we're coming in, the gears down, all of a sudden the gear comes up like 40 seconds from landing and the guy does a steep left bank.

Wait, he does, he gives up on it? Yeah. And he goes, I go, oh, we just screwed the pooch. We got to go around. Then he comes on and goes, there was a plane that was on the runway. So we're going to go around. Probably take us about 15 minutes to get back in line. We'll get back to you. To do a U-turn? Jesus. There's planes, you know.

And so then two minutes later, he takes a steep dive with the gear coming down. Clearly, the tower said, if you do this, you can go in. And then we made a really hard landing. I had someone on the aisle behind me who said it was their first flight. No, I should have bragged. She goes, I don't like this. I've gotten much better than I've been

cause I've been flying so much. I'm kind of like, fuck it. But my wife's more like, hey, and I use this too. In World War II, they were flying and getting shot at. I mean, what are we, we're such babies. Anyway, I mean, we are babies because it's definitely, you know, they all, they pretty much all land. It's just, it's very upsetting and it scares you

and tightens up your stomach. And you land a little rock, a little dizzy, a little. Well, it's, it's, you know, like I always say, if you surf the web for an hour, go on Daily Mail or whatever, you're hypnotized into darkness. So when you're reading all the time, it's seen it. Your brain feels like planes are crashing about every two to three minutes. Because it's so that's where the fear comes up. Well, that Newark airport thing doesn't really help relax you.

I probably avoid it till they get it figured out. Call me crazy. I'm a little bit of a spendy Susie. I boozy Susie and a spendy Susie. I'm more of a boozy Susie, but yeah. You are, you are a spendy spender. Yeah, I'm more of a boozy Susie, but yeah. You are a spendy spender, yeah. And a lot of our listeners are nice enough to write it and say, you look like you drank a lot and slept on your face.

But that's just constructive criticism. Well, it's very concise, and you don't really drink very much. I'll tell the fans. No, just puffy. This is where Klarna comes in. Klarna is your everyday smarter spending partner, which is what a lot of people need.

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I'm just gonna say it. I'm just gonna say it. It's a Klarna summer. I'm Emma Grade, and I've spent the last 20 years building, running and investing in some incredible businesses. The more success I've had, the more people started coming to me with questions. How do you start a business? How do you raise money?

How do I bounce back from failure? On my new podcast, Aspire with Emma Greede, I'll be answering these questions and more through weekly conversations with the smartest minds out there. Listen to and follow Aspire with Emma Greed, an Odyssey podcast available now, wherever you get your podcasts. You know, Dana, I always say raccom after I say like a 10 out of 10 joke. That reminds me of Rakuten. If you're shopping while working, eating, or even listening to this podcast, then you

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That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N, rakuten.ca. In a fun story, my mom saw Tom Jones in Arizona. Where did she go? The Arizona Financial Center? Dude, Tom Jones can, I think he's a 5,000 seeder for Tom Jones. Wow. I knew he was a big star, but he's raking him in and they really took care of my mom. They gave her a, she had a knee operation.

They gave her a box, moved her into a box. Isn't that nice? Wow. Sweet. I want to thank them. I love your mom. Yeah, she just got her knee replaced. Maybe I'll go to Arizona and just hang out with her.

I go, I'm surrogate Dave. We're around the same size. I said, why'd you get your knee replaced? She goes, it wasn't that bad, but I want to fight Dana. So I want to have it as strong as possible. I was like, ooh, why? She didn't even tell me why. By the way, just did this for a second.

Tom Jones is my wife's, I mean, might be your favorite. Oh really? Now he's had a renaissance. He's been on these talent shows and he's somebody who just has not lost his voice. And he sings like Pavarotti, but as a rock star. So if young people are listening, just YouTube, you know, Tom Jones.

You know, the funniest thing is my mom is so stoked and she's waiting, waiting, waiting. It was last Tuesday. And I went to Las Vegas to that gig and I had lunch with Nikki and I look over shoulder, it says Tom Jones playing here tonight. I was over at the win. He was playing there.

Isn't that crazy? I would have seen him if I wasn't doing the show. And then I thought if I see him, I'm gonna go, my mom was coming to... I would have said that. Well, I saw him once, quick story here at Harris, I think in Tahoe, and his clothes, his pants were incredibly skin tight.

I mean, they weren't even pants. So it was like, you know, and then he would turn around for a drink of water and that you'd hear a lot of the women scream. And then he would, he would turn around for a drink of water and that you'd hear a lot of the women scream and then he would turn back and say literally, I see we have some Fanny watches tonight. Oh boy. Every time he turned around, they would scream. I see the Fanny watches are still pleased. And then he turns around and goes, I see some weenie watches are here. And Danny goes, now he puts his wiener on the outside of his pants.

He goes, they're too tight. I gotta put it on the outside. He was famously gifted downstairs. And I guess famously Milton Berle had the same problem or dilemma or whatever and came to him and wanted to show him. And so this Tom Jones told this story. And then Tom Jones said, yes, he had me beat.

But I turned around and I heard a little sound and I knew he was a funny watch. Yeah. You know what? I didn't even check up my mom when she's a Fanny Watcher. I did not even, you know, ask her ahead of time. Well, does she find, because he was a full blown sex symbol in the 60s with women throwing things and all that. Her favorites are Elvis, then Willie and then Tom Jones. We went and saw Willie once together. It was great.

And now Tom Jones. And what about Anglebert Hunkerdeak? You know what? Last night I looked up Tom Jones on YouTube, no joke, cause I wanted to hear Green Green Grass at Home, Tear Jekr, and Delilah. And it was an old video of like the old cool 70s shows with like a weird kind of bright set. And he's in a Engelbert singing who looks like Brad Pitt and Brad easily playing in a movie. Look exactly like him in this clip. And then Tom interrupts him. And then

they start singing each other's songs like that old innocent kind of cool. They both have tuxes on. They start taking them. Oh yeah. It's, it's, it's. Anyway, they're great. They're both great. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay. Boring. That stuff. Lastly, I would say before we get to the stuff. Oh, the Cannes Film Festival is on. One thing is that all the people that showed up that were, you know, a little bit of hot water, we'll say. But I just saw the list of James Franco, Ezra Miller, Kevin Spacey, Shia LaBeouf. So they're all there on the carpet doing different things.

Wow. That's an interesting game. Isn't it? Interesting. Like maybe they've served their time in jail, career jail. It's always like a varied time of how long, but are you ever allowed to work again? Are you not? How rough was the crime? It's such an interesting thing of like they're all there, but it's not even America, it's France,

or are they grading it on a curve? I don't know. I know. I mean, it's like, are you convicted in a court of law or not is one bar. Yeah. And the other is just, you know, public opinion, public opinion, misunderstanding or whatever, or, or the, you know, but yeah, I think the, the canceling thing is tamped down a little bit. We can't like whack them all.

I actually saw Shia LaBeouf. I think is kind of cool in the movies. He's a great actor, man. Yeah. He was walking down somewhere. It's kind of like, let's say you're at the airport and you're walking and you see a bunch of people that know you. So they're following him and they want him to sign stuff. And I see him, he's getting more and more pissed, but he was very cool about it. I think he's self-aware enough to go, these guys are all in my face. And then the second he takes one photo, like if people are walking behind him,

he goes, yeah, yeah, take a photo. And then they all get in front of him to block him so they can get one, tries to walk again. No, no, just sign this one thing for my nephew. And then, you know, but he was very cool because they're really like yelling at him. People get mad and he had to keep moving. So I give him that.

He didn't flip out. Yeah. I mean, it's hard not to. It's hard not to because they're, you know, it's a big country and there, sometimes it's just 15 or 20 people who are not, it used to be in the old days, gee, Mr. Clark Gable, can I get your autograph? And now it's a, it's a monetary thing, I guess. And so it's very, it's, it's aggressive and sometimes it feels a little scary.

Yeah, you know, it used to be all fans. Now it's not really fans. It's people that's fake fans that say, sign this or, you know, quipping an asshole. Sign, sign, sign, sign, sign. And then you don't sign one and they hate you. And then they go, sign, sign everywhere you sign, please. You can't win.

Also, I don't love hearing about these standing ovations. Maybe I'm cynical, Dana, but 11 minutes, nine minutes, these people have nowhere to go. Who can clap their hands in the Guinness Book of World Records for more than like 30 seconds? 10 minutes. It's become a thing. Guinness Book of World Records for more than like 30 seconds. 10 minutes. It's, it's become a thing. So one director is outside and he was like, he's actually, he was looking

down and tears coming down his eyes. And they asked him what happened. He goes, we only got the six minutes stand innovation. That's just like nothing. That's literally zero. I think they've done an hour, haven't they? Yeah, that's a bomb. I think, I would say start the standing ovation

in the last 20 minutes of my movie when I play mine. And then just so it'll wrap up by the time the movie's over. I wanna be, if Busboys does have a premiere, I'm gonna be there. It'll definitely be in France, yeah. And I'm gonna lead the applause. Maybe it'll just be at some kind of local,

whatever, Busby's theaters and theater and popcorn. Listen, I've heard the word Oscar bait with Busboys. Just on rough cuts. I think that there's nothing, there's no bigger compliment. I mean, the 20 minutes San Ovation, but there's no bigger compliment. I mean, the 20 minutes San Ovation, but there's no bigger compliment than reviews of actors, people who pretend in front of an electronic lens. Daniel Day Lewis's performance as Abraham Lincoln is nothing short of a miracle. It's miraculous.

a miracle. It's miraculous. David Spade is a is a revelation as busboy number two. As Markie the busboy is exquisite. He will reorientate the Earth's access as it revolves around the sun. David Spade is a miracle as busboy Billy. Instead, it'll be like David Spade is a miracle as Bus Boy Billy. Instead, he'll be like, David Spade struggled? It seemed to get to the end of the movie in this. David Spade puts the phone in phoning it in

as he coasts his way through Bus Boys. He unbelievably took out a rotary phone. That's how slow his performance was. Grrrr. Grrrr. Grrrr. That's how slow his performance was. David Spade looks lost. David Spade is in a different movie than Theo Vaughn. What's happening? Does anyone understand this?

Did they play it backwards? What's going on? Yeah. If I could understand it, I'd give it a rating. But for this, I couldn't get through the poster. This cub reporter has to say, it's a stinker. This cub reporter. I've never seen a movie before.

And this is what I start with. They had the camera set up. Surely people were talking and moving about, but the whole thing is like a fever dream. I don't remember one second of it was a wise one long run on sentence. It might've had one laugh, but I fell asleep too long to know if there were more laughs. Hi, I'm a cub reporter for movies.com slash fly. I sat in the audience and in an hour and a half, I heard one Twitter and one chortle.

Here's my slow motion act out of the premiere of the audience. Good dish. Roar. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Good. Tish. Roar. Ah! Wagga bush. The best in the world. High five. Good assist on David Spade and Dana Carvey's act out

of Happy Audience Member is a tag team extravaganza. One doing sound effects and one pretending to be in slow motion. OK, all right. But before I get to some stuff, I'll say thanks for watching the Amazon special. It's doing well. And if you want to go on my tick tock, I put up one of my E.T. jokes, which gives you a taste. And remember, everybody, these things are released on social media.

It's a huge universe. So Dandelion is just there like a book on a bookshelf. So that's why we mentioned it in the ensuing weeks after the premiere. Dandelion, Amazon Prime. Because you can always pop in and go watch it. Yeah. Thank you. Pop in.

All right. Let's look at some stories. Okay. Let's do it. What's going on? And we're going to, we'll keep it snug. We're moving right along. Yeah, let's snug it up a little bit. We're good. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup.

Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee and more. Limited time only at Participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. I'm gonna tell them the story. I hate it already.

We're looking at a big red ball on top of Central Park. If you were to combine all eight billion people on earth into a giant meatball, it would fit in Central Park. That's kind of shocking. I never, I would have thought way bigger. Well, they're saying eight billion, let's say the average human, you have got kids and stuff and aboriginals.

I mean, maybe the average person is 100 pounds times eight billion, Heather. It's a trillion pounds and you can fit it in a Central Park. Who asked AI this one? Yeah, I think 100 pounds, that's what Heather is. But how about the rest of the world that averages like 220 and we're in America, don't forget. So we're not exactly the waist model capital of the world.

What are we supposed to take away from that? Eat more, become bigger people, or be proud that we can fit into Central Park? What's our emotional takeaway? I think it's, did you think it would be bigger or smaller? And is everyone going like this or is everyone going like this? They're going like this. It's bigger. Well, what was the Grand Canyon and everyone peed in the Grand Canyon?

Yeah, they could not fill it up. They could not fill it up. Is this all AI or just freaks in a basement? These are all questions that everyone's asking. Shut up, Brian. Eight billion could fit like a meatball. Shut up. How much meat is in that?

Or is it all just people? Do you put meat between the people that round it out? I don't know. Did you ever see Soylent Green? Soylent Green is people. Soylent Green is people. No, it was with child nest and. And Soylent Green. Yeah, I did see it. It scared me. Everybody who knows has been dead for thousands of years. The late great Phil Hartman did

the best Chuck Heston. Yeah. Okay, next one. Oh, this is interesting. Open AI co-founder wanted to build Doomsday Bunker to protect scientists because he thinks if AI takes over, the guy that knows the most about it is terrifying. He's like, I'm scared. Let's build a bunker while we're developing AI because we might have to hide. AI will fucking find you in two seconds. What are they thinking?

If AI is after you. There are people that go, it's gonna help mankind, you don't know. And then there are people that really think, this is, humans will not be the only, I mean, we will be obsolete and maybe sort of we must be eliminated. I mean, there's been so many movies from the 50s

and there also was a Star Trek episode about this with Liam Shatner. Remember? No Man, I think it was called, or whatever. It was just this metal thing. It was like 10 feet tall, and it would just wander around the universe and destroy civilizations. And it did it for a trillion years

until it ran into the logic of James T. Kirk. So it's like, I am no mad, I must destroy imperfection. But you, yourself, are imperfect. All they had to do was say that. I'm imperfect, imperfect, imperfect, and then my own, and then it explodes. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. A billion years it destroyed universes.

It took Bill Shatner 20 seconds to wipe him out. Have you seen some of those? Oh, no, what you're doing? Thought time's over. I can't believe you want to destroy him. Sorry, go ahead. You're a little piece of tin foil. You must destroy all life, but you are part of that life. You are really being a bummer.

No wonder Williams shatter. I don't know how he didn't just pull his neck out or something or hurt his back. I can't believe what you're saying. It's not my best impression. We need to get Kevin Pollock in here. But it's a fun impression. Also I saw some Elon Musk robots and they're really like putting on the ritz. They're not just like, they're like, they're almost doing fucking Billie Jean out there.

And you go, it's getting too fast. Well, think of it this way, David, if I may, think of the Wright brothers on a basic homemade glider going 120 feet, then 50 years later, 60 years later, you've got a seven, you've got 500 silly monkeys 10 miles in the sky going across the ocean. We're gonna make a leap in AI,

like from a glider to a 747. So you don't know what's coming. I know you're scared. This is a, here's my quick new impression of you about AI, quick impression. What's going on? I don't understand. I don't know.

What are we supposed to do? And what's gonna happen? You can't understand. I don't know. What are we supposed to do? And what's going to happen? You can't see below peeing my pants. Of joy or fear? Fear. Okay. Kind of like the guy at the airport. So planes went from Kitty Hawk to Newark. To Newark, yes.

Where it's falling apart. So AI, well, look, what we'll do, what we'll do to be ahead of ourselves soon, soon, because Google AI came out, they're making movies that are totally accurate. What we're going to do is we're going to ask AI to make a podcast with digital copies of us, and then see if it's better than what we actually do. It will be, Dana. I'm scared it will be so much better.

And then come on in and go, well, sorry. Or we make tons of podcasts and sit back and collect cash. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. I think all the comments will be, that was a perfect show. And I'll be like, well, that was the AI one. They're like, oh, get back to that dog shit you normally do. We like that.

Guess what's possible? With AI and you know, robo taxis, Waymo's all over the place, somebody could buy 10 robo taxis, might cost some 200 grand or something. I'll do it. And then the robo taxis can monetize 24 seven. I guess they just have to recharge themselves.

But while you sleep, get it? I can safely say, what do you hate money? Are you not gonna do that? Or do you like money? Was it possible that I have robotaxis working for me right now? Right now, yeah. Sorry.

I'll run your brain. Sometimes the future arrives sooner than you think. Welcome to a money machine. Look at the room I can afford and the jean jacket I stole from the photo shoot. There better be a pile of money behind that wooden balsa door. Well, you go every day,

you're trying to like find out what you're gonna wear. I put on my uniform and I realized you're like pink today, maybe a gray hooded hoodie. No, the problem is the people at home don't know this. I reluctantly relinquished black t-shirt to Dana. So Dana loves black t-shirt, we all do, but I always think, okay, if he's wearing a black t-shirt, I have to wear one of my frilly little numbers

because he's cornered that market. So this one's purple. I didn't go black because everyone goes, are you the same person? Can you tell one's purple. I didn't go black. Okay. Because everyone goes, are you the same person? Can you tell it's purple? Hmm. It's kind of dark. Well, I won't, just FYI to our audience,

I may spiff up this a little bit. Whoa. Like I could put something behind me. Oh yeah, we got some stuff coming, so. Yeah, so we'll see. I mean, you know, don't panic or don't throw a party, but just know that there's possibilities. I like where's Waldo. I like when I was in the New York hotel or when I'm at the hotel down in LA or I'm at a farm,

you never know. It's where is he? Where's Dana? They always know where you are. Yeah, because they can hear the construction up front. Beep, beep, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr. Oh, I might get a funny thing I'm gonna bring on this only for you and it's a write-off. I'm not gonna look it up, I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say one thing. What?

You're not gonna tell me what you're thinking? No, I will, I'll do it and I'll bring it and then you'll be like, oh, okay, but I gotta order it. Oh. I'll charge it to honestly. Look at my nose. It's so bendy. Look at that.

So weird. Yeah, I know. I just got a text from, hi, it's David's housekeeper. His nose is also very bendy. What the fuck? He goes, she goes, are you ever gonna get rid of that dent in your nose

up there? And I go, why should I? She goes, maybe it's just the lighting in here, but it really sticks out like a sundial. Okay, well are the? So anyway, I had an MRI yesterday that I actually enjoyed and I think I fell asleep. Just for like a hip thing,

but I was in there for 45 minutes in the tube and they are funny because right in front of you is two bolts in a little open slit. So it looks like an AI face kind of like and then it just, I don't know if people have been, you've been in one recently, it's like, but it starts out right, it's quiet. And then he's like, it starts out quiet. And then it's like, and then it's funny. You know, it's like, it's crazy. And then it goes silent for like 15. Well, only one time that I almost tried to sit up, but they have me strapped in. It's like, and then it stopped 15 seconds.

I'm like, you know, yeah, it's so hard hard to like if you do it for your head or I've done it for my neck obviously but you're in there like this the guys like you're okay in there are you freaking out and I go no because you have to go in like this and it's so tight you get to right here and you go you start they go you might have an anxiety attack are you okay you want to are you claustrophobic yeah they ask well I really, but then when you're like this, I'm like, I guess you have to be. And then you get like this, then he goes.

All right, we're going to start here. Okay. He goes, you're going to hear some noises. And it goes like this. It goes bong, bong. Yeah. Like you said, and then it goes, brrrr, kang, kang, kang, kakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I was inside that movie somehow. And so I kind of enjoyed it, you know, but I had, they put earphones, here's what they did.

It sounds like a bit. They put earplugs and then big ear canceling on top and then started talking to me on all I've just looked at. I was like, yeah. And I go, I can't hear one. What are you saying? Mine were still, I can still hear me. It goes bang, bang.

Then there's a 10 second silence. And he goes, thank your guys's gonna do another grownups. What's that? I knew you were gonna say that. It's funny. I thought, if you weren't going for that then, I was gonna go for a. So what was up with the turtle man in master disguise?

Yeah. Why wasn't Dana at the reunion? You know, what's up with space hair today? What do you mean hair today? I'm in an MRI. David, did you get the message I gave your housekeeper about your baggy eyes? Is there any way I could get an advance copy of BuzzFuzz? David, if I don't have Amazon Prime, can you send me a link? Is there any way I could get an advance copy of BuzzFuzz?

David, if I don't have Amazon Prime, can you send me a link? Why does yours sound so metallical? It's funny, I don't know why it's funny. So, what was with Church Lady, what Spade came in and did to Hunter Biden, what was that about? If you don't go to the 60th anniversary, will you let Spade borrow your church lady wig?

Would spade fit in that wig or would you need a refit? Yours still sounds like it too. I like it. Mine's got a big squishy thing on it though. No, I took this off for a more metallic sound. Okay, go ahead. So what's up with spade? No, seriously.

And meanwhile, the background noise. I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got,

I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got helpful there when you got your hair in the LSM. Anyway, so what's going on with the bench warmers? Can you slow down the noises? Hey, I have two more questions about Dana,

so I turned the machine off for a while. I go, no, no, keep it going. I want to keep this. I want to finish the MRI. No, it's too loud. Anyway, what else is happening? Since my hands are like this, can you mind if I put a little blue's heart?

Wow. Last question from my nurse. Are you too old to have a TikTok? That's a good one. Simple yes or no. Sometimes our job cracks me up. We could end on that if you want. Yeah, I think it was funny.

Yeah, it was good. I think it was a nice tight episode for our fans. We really, I'm really proud of us. Yeah. That should be our name for our podcast. I'm proud of us. We're proud of us. Yeah, we don't have the,

we don't have what other people have, but we've got hope. We got us. And we got high hopes. Next week, I want to talk about why the movement to hate baby boomers. There's a lot of people talking about boomers. We'll go deep. We haven't had anybody on for a while.

Maybe we'll get somebody on. Yeah. Maybe get Tim Dillon to talk about that. He's pretty funny about it. Funny, he hates it. We can get him to hate anything. Yeah, he's got some good hot takes. He's funny. He was on CNN the other day

and he's just ripping on everything. It's so funny. That's, that is entertaining. Okay, thanks for coming, Dana. Thanks for coming by my podcast. Appreciate it. I appreciate it. Just for a second.

You've been on Dana Carvey's Superfly with my guest today, David Spade. With David Spade. With David Spade. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it!