Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #7 - Awards and Afterparties

Episode Date: March 15, 2024

David and Dana jump into the Oscars, the afterparties, the State of the Union, and more. Submit impressions to [e-mail]. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Would you host it? I would co-host it with you. Let's put our hat in the ring. We work cheap. You can tell by the set. I think you don't get paid much. No, you don't get paid to host Saturday Night Live. You actually have to write Lorna a check. Oh, that'll be $1,300. I take Bitcoin. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Jennifer Lopez. Do you have to say my name? I'm going to start with a joke. This is just this kills really hard and it's a little politically incorrect in my act. This is Barack Obama giving a little talk to fourth graders teach them lessons he uses in nursery rhymes.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack looked at Jill and Jill looked at Jack. Jill said, I'd like to be a Jack too. So Jack and Jack came down the hill. It's a teachable moment. There we go. It's a pretty good joke. It's a little edgy. These two progressives loved it. Oh yeah, we have everyone represented. We're not Republicans or Democrats. We're regressives. That's our new name. We're regressives. Yeah, we can't understand the news. We don't know what's going on. This is David reading

like Wall Street Journal online. What is it? What's going on? I don't know what's going on. This is David reading like a Wall Street Journal online. What is it? What's going on? I don't understand. Too many big words. That's my best impression. Yeah, I know. I was like, is that me?

I guess. The idea was right. That is what I do. I'm not a genius. But tell them about the new studio. A secret genius, he says. Well, we should say that we're in a different location. And normally we're

spread around North America. Sometimes I'm in Winnipeg, you never know. But today we're at a literal bunker somewhere undisclosed in Southern California. Yeah. And spent a couple shekels deep into the coin purse. The company that does the podcast is technically bankrupt. They're in chapter 11,000. They're bankrupt, but they're generous and they passed the hat around the office. And so we got these for $39 at the dollar store. So let's, let me see. So Dana, we're in the studio.

Where's our camera? I don't even know. I'm looking. I think this one me see. So Dana, we're in the studio. Where's our camera? I don't even know. There's 17. I think this one's mine. What one should we look at? Just me and David talking to our audience. That one in the middle? Below the frame?

No. Is that the wide shot? And that's me. Folks, folks, come on. I like this one better. Come on, we could look over here. Look over there. This is on the cameras.

All right, before I get into my breakfast, oh, I'll tell you about my breakfast first. All right, here we are, we're starting, take five. Hey David, how was your breakfast over the weekend? That's a great question. I, so I got ambushed at breakfast, and this happens sometimes to everybody. I sit in the back of the restaurant facing the wall and I'm reading the paper and physically eating.

So a guy comes around he goes, hey I don't want to bug you, fine bug you. But that's what everyone starts with. They don't really mean to but that's just I hate, I hate to bother you. It kills me. Nothing I hate worse than bothering you. I go it seems like it's going easily for you so far. The thing I hate most is bothering you. What seems like you're doing something you hate. And I know you're eating, and I'm literally eating like four cups,

not like I'm sitting, I'm literally eating, and I go, uh, and he goes, if I could give you a pitch for, is there any way I can pitch you a movie for 30 seconds? It's about a guy, now that was sort of rhetorical, he kind of ran over my yes or no. Yeah, he's ahead of you. You know what I mean?

He goes, yeah, he's all amped up shit. He's one step ahead of you. So I sit there with my fork, and then he, this is how he starts the thing. Listen, by the way, I'm a good guy. I'm also a Leo. I happen to know you're a Leo. We're both Leo's

So we're on pretty solid ground right now and you still have your fork up here with yeah And I'm like this going it's getting weaker. You're frozen. You got your arms. I have weak traps and clavicles and yes Yeah, so you're lit. You're literally in pain going like this listening egg heavy as chopped pepper on it heavier egg Heavy cannot listen to idiot anymore can't figure out how long this will be going, it won't be 30 seconds for sure. So, go ahead. So then he goes, so we're both Leos, I know that, because I know.

They're the lions. I'm a great guy. And then he starts, now as he's blistering, you know, he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, pontificating through this stupid fucking, bloviating is the word I'm looking for. All I can think of is, this is how you start your foundation

on a professional career with someone in acting. Not I'm a great producer, not I've done this in this movie, not I'm a great writer, it's we're both Leos. That's your foundation. And by the way, all I can think of is, I'm not a Leo.

And so I go, we're already fucked. Everything else doesn't matter now. I'm not, and I'm a cancer and I'm getting crabby because I go, what are we doing now? This was your main credit is that you're a Leo. No other credits were mentioned. And then at the end, I'm thinking, what if we're on a set? Do I want a good script writer

or do I want a guy shutting down the set because Jupiter's in purple haze? Astrology. Do I want an astrologist on the set or do I want someone that's good at their job? What happens? Do you beat them up? Well, the thing is, you know this data that ever since SNL days, you can't read an idea for a script. You can't hear an idea for a movie because if you ever down the line do something like that, you will, you could be sued, because they go, oh, that was mine. Yeah, you take it six years later.

I had a rabbit in my script, and then you're handcuffed and taken away. I, oh, over here? Don't go too tight. Yeah, let's pull back. How about Cleveland? Evan the tight shot guy. He likes to crank down on guys who remember Kennedy versus Nixon, all right? Yeah, let's pull back. How about Cleveland? Evan the tight shot guy.

He likes to crank down on guys who remember Kennedy versus Nixon, all right? This thing's gonna look like the Zapruder film. It's so blurry. But you know, the low social IQ of that guy, because I was once, in the early days, I saw Bob Dylan on the streets of Manhattan, and I'm thinking I should go over there

and talk to Bob Dylan. I should. That's what I first thought of. And then I thought, don't. Oh, he's just Bob Dylan. He doesn't look like he wants to be bothered. So I just went up there, excuse me, Mr. Dylan. I'm your biggest fan.

Ugh. How are you? I don't think you're really my biggest fan. I go, why do you sound like Norm MacDonald? And that was the weirdest thing. Years later, I met Norm and he's like talking like that. I go, you sound like Bob Dylan. I guess we can cut that. No, I like that one. No, I can't. I was, I actually did run into Springsteen at one point, jogging in the park. Boom! Watch out where you're going. I got

my good cowboy boots on. I'm gonna run around the reservoir. He's running in his cowboy boots? Yeah, get him. Yeah, get him. Because I'm Bruce Springsteen. I grew up in New Jersey, but I know a cow when I see one. Can you do anything about that under a bite?

Why would I? It's my signature. Do your jaw hurt? All the fucking time. Wearing a bite plate 24-7. It's not doing shit. Why are we shitting on you? I know, I like Springsteen.

Let's get to these Oscars. Yeah, what are we doing? Let's get to these Oscars. Yeah, what are we doing? Let's get to these self-congratulatory dandies. Who cares about the next movie I'm shooting with Leo guy? Wait a minute, you're shooting a movie with Theo Von? No, the guy at the fucking Leo that said he's Leo. Oh, the Leo, the Theo, the wheel. I can't keep track of the stories.

Leo Von. So the Oscars were last night. Highlights for me. Oscars were not last night. Oscars were the other night. Oscars were six months ago, but we needed to contemplate. Yeah. We need to contemplate. So I liked Ryan Gosling, Ken Song. I thought he was funny.

Yes. I thought that was good. I liked Spielberg getting laughs with cutaways. That was funny, right? Yeah, that was good. Yep. That's it. There's a meme out now that apparently Putin watched some of the Oscars and he went nuts

for I Am Ken. No, he didn't. He's literally kind of giggling. It's an Instagrammer. I really was laughing at Ryan Gosling. He keeps singing I am Ken. What does it mean? We know his name is Ken. It's so funny.

It went on for a long time. But it was pretty funny. This message was brought to you by Vladimir Putin. I love flying the wall. Bloop! Bloop! Ending. He was like, especially flying six walls. He brought Barbie into it when he went into the crowd. Barbie. Barbie. You know, they always say who wore it best. You know, the women come out and God bless them all.

I don't judge, look at me. Who wore it best? Last night at the show they said, who wore it least? These are the skimpiest outfits I've ever seen. Bra, they put on bra, panty, sheer thing over and walk around. I mean, what's going on, women in the audience? Hey, Peanut Gallery. Chris?

We've run out of ideas on what to wear. Did you think it was especially sort of less clothes on the red carpet or no? Well, it's a trending thing right now where you wear see-through lace number with underwear underneath it. Yeah. And so why do you think it is trending? I like the trends. That I don't know. Maybe. Well, it's young people with perfect bodies.

And not wearing bras, that's another thing too. Have you noticed? Yeah. I walked up behind one of those young ladies, Anita, and she had a hundred percent see-through with basically just a thong. Thunder pants. And I didn't know that was her, I didn't know which it was, but the front was fully see through so I didn't even look, but I saw a picture today

and I thought, but you know, I did see, I went out after and I went by a party and I saw, I would say the girls, the women all look gorgeous. I noticed that. And I wouldn't say there's plastic surgery. I would say that with makeup and slick back hair and things, there was a lot I didn't know who they were at first glance. I'd have to, someone said, that's blah blah. And I go, oh, I even saw Kim K. when I was going to get my drink and I said hi. And then I said, oh, okay, that's her.

Cause I couldn't right off the bat tell everybody who they were. Not that they're, and then I said, oh, okay, that's her. Because I couldn't right off the bat tell everybody who they were. Not that they're, I'm saying again, not that they're like plastic, it's just they look different, they make their makeup different, and it takes you a second. Everyone looked great though.

Everyone looked great. I think, I mean, Al Pacino, you have an 83 year old man who's gonna announce the last award and there's an open bar. It's a shark going to water a cage, going to water a... No, I love Al Pacino. He should have done the whole thing. If he had just said, if he had just picked up the envelope and screamed, say hello to my little friend, he would have brought down the house.

Oh my god, why does he do that? If I was there I would have said, Al, just say hello to my little friend. Did you know that he's dating a very young woman, I guess they had a baby, and the courtship was him showing her his movie, so he showed her Scarface, and that's when she fell in love with him. Yeah.

Shit, I would too, that's a good, I would save that, I wouldn't open with that one. Oh, he's got Godfather too. That's pretty good. Yeah, you can follow it. What else did I like? What about when Al Pacino comes on, he goes, and now's the time, Oppenheimer.

Everyone goes, what's going on? He jumped the gun ahead, did you see that? I know, he says, I'm seeing Oppenheimer, like it was a crystal ball. I'm seeing Oppenheimer. So we were like, is this a joke, what's going on? Paul McCartney did a little Instagram congratulating Oppenheimer.

What did it go like? What was it like? What do you mean? You expect me to, what do you expect? If you had to imagine. Oppenheimer, you know, it's a great film. It's about a big bomb, you know. And they're up in the desert.

They're like, how do we make it? Maybe put it here, put it there, we don't know. Pretty soon, they thought it could could be a big'un, it could be a big'un. So they put it on a big wooden thing, and they're like 10 feet away. They said, we better get back, could be even bigger. And then they went doonga doonga,

and this big old mushroom clown, but it's not full of mushrooms like they told me mom used to make here. It's an atomic bomb. If I'm bombing in this room, I'm bombing up there. That was all on one Instagram meme. It was one Instagram. Well, Putin and he were, you know,

they were FaceTiming during the Oscars. But anyway. Well, I will say that I didn't catch 1,000 percent of the Oscars. Why is Evan on my shot for 20 minutes? Because he's baffled. What are you trying to do, take me back to 60? What should I look at?

He puts you back, he's like 55. You want me here or you want me there? Okay, all right. On a serious note, what did you like about the Oscars? Well, I didn't know all of it, I didn't see all of it. I just, I did see, I did run into Jason, no, Justin, I saw Jason Bateman, but JJ Abrams says hi to you. And I, and-

We're very good friends. Yes, he was very- I have celebrity friends. Very nice. You know, without, it sounds like name dropping, but honestly, you go to those parties and there's literally almost no plus ones. So when you go in, every person you turn to,

you would know from something. So it's just a matter of, I only stayed an hour at one and an hour at the other because it was too much overload. It's like, deez, deez, deez. So some of the fun ones, I'm trying to think of what would be fun to tell. It was, there's not that many exciting things that happen other than, you know, you have to walk in as a solo.

This is really the point. When you don't have plus one, you have to latch. Are you talking about Vanity Fair? Vanity Fair is the first one. Oh, the big one. And then there was an after party at Guy Who Serious. So I, an after party for me, God, that fucking time change helped me

because that was, you got a free hour. It was a little earlier than it was in a real. That's funny. Yeah, do you write that down on a notepad? Good time to go to parties. Oh my God, it just fell into place. It's like New Year's Eve. When am I gonna stay up till that late?

So the first one, I stayed in only an hour, but I ran into Jason Bateman, the first person I saw. Now that's just a crap shoot. Who are you gonna see right when you walk in? And then there was a little gaggle of dudes that came and just talked. And then I saw, oh they said Sharon Stone was there. I went looking for her because she just did

Fly on the Wall. Yo, no, yeah, yeah. SNS? When is Sharon Stone on? SNS is on. It'll be already on? Oh, it's a week after. Okay, she's coming up and I wanted to say hi to her.

But mostly I saw some of the skimpy outfits like they were saying and people would explain who that person was. And goddamn anybody, oh I saw Robert Kraft and I asked him about the big trade with Mac Jones, right? That's a sports story. Yeah. He runs the Patriots. So that was sort of off the beaten path

of normal people you see. Oh, the second party. Well, you know what's funny is being at a party where everyone's pretty well known and you walk by Travis and Taylor and how it's it's really there's an aura like well it's the only place where people weren't flipping the fuck out I did happen they were at guy of series look at oh yeah here's me and Taylor Swift when this is last night this no this is weeks ago. You look different, but you look great. One time, I went to this Grammy party,

and they seat you wherever, and then she was sat next to me, and then she was more newer on the scene, and she had done Ellen, and Ellen said, go take pictures of people. Are the sunglasses throwing you off? Because I have like glasses. Okay.

He's quitting camera work. He's just quitting and he's packing up. Well, the camera is rebelling against my face. The camera is just shutting itself off. Will not, today I camera. I'm out. I will not. Too much work.

Too much stuff to think about. I am cutting myself off. He literally took off your whole clothes up and started over. Yeah. He's starting over with a special lens smeared in mayonnaise. Shoot it through a shower curtain. Do you know that I was invited to the Vanity Fair party? Oh, there's another one. Oh, there they are. First ever to do ducklips. I'm saying it. I used

to always do ducklips in SNL old days. I didn't because it was awkward. Didn't know what to say. This is just... Did you put your hand on her back? I didn't mean to, I was just trying to take the picture. But she was going around taking pictures and I would say like, oh that's like Dave Grohl, go take a picture with her, because she was newer. And she was very nice. And that was like, there was a whole table there, but you can only see us.

But I was remembered, oh yeah, I did meet Taylor Swift in the old days. At that point, I remember you told me you met her and she only knew one chord in the guitar. That's how young she was, but she got really good. That was a joke. You know what, I was invited to the Vanity Fair party 20 years in a row with the white envelope, everything,

and I never answered and I never went. And then I was down here once, I go, well, maybe I'll go this year, no invite. Oh, the one time. I swear to God, 20 years in a row. Would you have gone when the Oscars were last week? When I went to the Oscars with Mike Myers, invited me, we did Wayne's World.

We're there with all the really cool people, Mike and stuff. You go to the Vanity Fair party, my wife and I had to go, we don't have a invite. And they go, you don't? No. And so I was gonna go there and go, I don't really have an invite, and have some guy like, sorry, you gotta move along.

No, you should go. I mean, I think you could have gone last night, but they also- As a plus one. People say like, oh, I'm, no, you could have gotten in if you would have just asked. They say, oh, I remember someone complaining. I was in this movie.

And I didn't even get invited to the Oscars and the and the movie was nominated. But I have to say, it's so tight in that room. They have to have really just the stars and the producers and the director. Right. There's too many people in too many movies. Now, the parties would probably be a safer bet to get into. It just turned into a blast. I mean, last night was fun.

I didn't talk to Kelsey, even though we did have Jason on. I could not walk up to them, even though they're just hanging out because it felt too thirsty. You could have. The only way you could have is that you just interviewed Jason. Yeah. And she could have go,

he had some kind of weird things to say about you. We trimmed him, just wanna let you know he's got a couple younger brother issues. Why do you hate each other? And maybe I'm speaking. You know, my nightmare is your dream. Like for me to go and have 3000 small talk conversations, if it's an intimate party with like six people,

but when it's just, what's up? How you doing? Working? Good, good, good. Were you there? That's what I said. Yeah. David Spade, you're still doing that podcast with the Church Lady guy? Hey, good job. You guys are kind of funny. Most of it's that, but if you find something you know, then it's funnier. The second party, I was in the kitchen eating, shockingly, with four people.

So that was just fun. Us four laughing and. That's perfect. And you know, the thing about like these two, like Travis and whoever, everybody, anybody there is always hard to walk up to people that are already talking, because people do it to me. You're in something and people just grab you

and I feel it's rude. So unless someone's just floating by, it's hard to walk up and interrupt unless it's someone I really, really know well. You know what I mean? Well, I, yes, of course I would, your social IQs, you got it. You can feel the radar. You can feel the radar. You're a standup. You can feel when the crowd is turning on you, which, no offense, but it happens on a regular basis. And you know how that was. I know, I looked right at the camera. He kills. I just feel like if I went there,

I would fake I was in a lot of movies. Oh, yeah, I was in Oppenheimer right before, I was the guy with the binoculars. Anatomy of Fall, you got it. I was the carpenter near the dumpster. So you just say you're in movies movies and no one can really know. Barbie, I was driver number three in the yellow car. You know, you saw me right behind Margot Robbie, right?

When she was going into the bank. You can just say I was like Barbie's first one night stand. My whole thing got cut, but I shot for seven weeks. Didn't test well. My sister had a Barbie doll, and that passed around by the brothers. What about Jimmy says? By the brothers.

Jimmy said, oh, Barbie, no one wants a Barbie doll anymore. Remember he said it in his monologue? I was like, ooh. Jimmy was, Jimmy was. He had a couple of cutting jokes. He was kind of edging out there. Yeah, I kind of, I like some of that. Hopefully he's got at least 150 tucked, and maybe he's two years out the door. He always says he's

doing just fine. Because I get it. Yeah, I always follow the money. Ron Jocelyn was so relaxed. He has 300 million net and he's a movie star for 20 years. Yeah, I'd be laying down. It felt like it Would you host it? I would co-host it with you. Let's put our hat in the ring. We work cheap. You can tell by the set. I think you don't get paid much to do it anyway. No, you don't get paid to host Saturday Night Live.

You actually have to write Lorna a check. Oh, that'll be $1,300. I take Bitcoin. Oh, thank'll be $1,300. I take Bitcoin. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Jennifer Lopez. Do you have to say my name? Where are you putting the check? Okay, let's move on to...

And that is our Oscar chunk. Well, I wanna thank people for, on YouTube, I read all the comments and very positive about Superfly so far. And if they're negative, easily blocked, but so far it and oh very positive about about superfly so far and if they're negative easily blocked But and so far it's been very positive Yeah, I know I've never read a comment about anything I get information from you because I'm too sensitive and if I saw a negative comment I would crawl up in a ball and start sobbing. So I I do get angry about I did and people say it doesn't affect you

But it does. And so, oh, I did want to talk. We're going to do some headlines, but without being political, that state of the union was last week, right? No, I'm just, I'm saying we're not going to be political. Yes, state of the union, yes. I did think it was funny that Joe Biden, the president,

Joe Biden, he just came out of that cannon. I mean, he popped out of the toaster. He was, I just want whatever he was having because I get tired in the afternoon and jack me up, jacked and juiced and ready to go. I thought he'd be running around that chamber going, parkour, parkour, just like bouncing off the wall. Well, you know what?

I don't know what they gave him or whether it was just a lot of rest and some protein maybe just maybe backstage there was a system going oh mr. president this is this is for you now what is it we call it a state of the union oh sure I take a say you know before I do say you know you are sir they put it in a biscuit like a dog. And three minutes later, and I'll get him. I'll get him. Fuck. Because normally-

Fuck you all cut. They actually cut the state of the union because he's like the old man on the lawn. He's still there screaming. Just fuck you. They cut it and then I guess, what's her name? Mary Taylor Greene. What's the girl? Marjorie?

The one with the handy 500 with the red. She looks like NASCAR. She was my favorite. It's a freak show. The Republic's ending soon. So anyway, save your money. Or Bitcoin, I guess. At the beginning, on his regular speeches, they usually have a guy walk out and go, let's get ready to mumble.

And then he comes out. But on this one, he was all objective. He's like, and I'm also hornier than a three-peckered billy goat. My dick's harder than Chinese arithmetic. And everyone's like, okay, well, let's just stick to the cards.

And he goes, he's got to say it. I haven't felt like this in a while. And I'm like, give me some. No, no, bust it out, break flake. I get another State of the Union. Here you go. He's microdosing. What do you think? He's microdosing. What do you think? He's microdosing.

What do we really think it was? I heard Ritalin is a alleged possibility. I don't know if it's Ritalin. Please send your letters elsewhere. But Ritalin would give someone a little pop. A little pop really. Have a little Ritalin with a silverback monkey up with a twist and a little daiquiri no-no.

But the problem was the next day he was yelling up with a twisht and a little dackery no-no. But the problem was the next day he was yelling and it was very awkward. Was he still going? Yeah, he was at, he was at a Baskin-Rollins ice cream store. I have a jamoco on fudge. Excuse me sir, you don't have to yell. I'm not yelling, I'm playing.

The state of the union hasn't worn off. And he's shadow boxing. He spits it out. Come on, Jake Paul, I'm next. I'll beat the hell out of you. Come on, Jack. I'll beat you and your whole family. I'll beat the shit out of you.

I don't know. Look, it's a freak show. Let's just say it. We have an election coming up. He breaks a stir stick. You like that shit? That's more where that came from. Hustle.

I'll cut a bitch. And that was to Jill. He takes the broken little wooden stick and he said he'll cut a bitch with that, the stirrer. Yeah. I'll cut a bitch. You like that shit? Let's get him backstage.

Get him backstage. Did I do this before? Cause it makes me, it made me happy when I found out, you saw Nicolas Cage at the Oscars, that they lease Nicholas Cage. They pay him to come backstage when Biden gives a speech and he sort of like calms down. He's like an anxiety person. Because when Biden's out there and the people were backstage, they go, he's going off script. He's going off the prompter. He's going off the prompter. And then Nicholas Cage knows at that moment to calm the staff down and goes, why God, why?

That has lowered the anxiety of the staff. It feels like it's working. Someone said, did you hear this? I like he looks over there. What? Talk about, well, it's back on the Oscars, but aren't you stuck between Bradley Cooper and Clean Gaga? You told me there was a little like hand stuff going back and forth with them.

Oh yeah, well I had a view when they were doing the in the sky la la la la, when they're singing the song. Shallows. Shallows, in the shallows la la la. Because of exactly where I was sitting, I could see right under the piano. And there was just a little, some loose hands under there.

Some loose, in the shallow, shallow out, in the shallow. Was this a few Oscars ago? This is pre-pandemic, 2018, if you must know. It was during the movie. Shallow. No, the movie, David. Star is Born. Yes, a star.

Yeah, there was no, uh... No, what was the movie he just did, Bradley Cooper? He didn't win shit. Maestro. I didn't say it because I say it wrong. I thought he was amazing in Maestro, but, you know, what are you going to do? Paul Giamatti was extraordinary.

He's a friend of the podcast. You know, Paul Giamatti, okay, here's what I heard, and this was on something that Giamatti, who we had on here, Mm-hmm. is wore, you would know this, the holdovers, wore contacts to give him a lazy eye. And then Nicholas Cage goes,

I would have done that. Yes. Is that something real? Yes. Yeah, you can wear a contact that just looks like a lazy eye. Just put your eyeball down here. It's like a, just like wearing a. Wow, I don't know if I could do that.

That would weird me out so much. Look, you know, it's for the art. I go, that would weird me out. Meanwhile, I'll be getting full plastic surgery in a week. That doesn't scare me. I had a little eye tuck over the weekend, hence the shades. I had a little eye tuck, so I just wear these for a couple days.

You know what I like is when you go up to people at the Vanity Fair party and they go, and the first compliment is, do you sleep on your face? And I go, why? They go, you look like a pound puppy. I go, what's that? And they go, don't Google it. Anyway, house tricks.

That was Lady Gaga. You know how pound puppies are? House tricks. So Chris, why don't you tell us what's going on? Oh yeah, is there? Everybody's face is different. Give us some trends. There's a lot of fillers, I think, going on and fat injections.

Like Ryan Gosling, handsome, but there's something. Shut. Or he's gained weight. I don't think he has gained weight, but there's a lot of- He goes, I gain a lot of my weight in my cheeks. In my face, exactly. Yeah, I've just, I got a six pack, but up around these cheeks, I got a cheek belly. If he's trying to be better looking, I give up.

So they're either filling or they're taking fat out, like it's called buccal fat removal. Have you heard about that? Wait, on the inside of your cheek? They go into your mouth and remove, so that's, you get hollow. So you wanna hollow out. So a lot of women are doing that.

Well, men are doing it too, so you get the, like the that look. I went from horrified to booking an appointment. Yeah I would never do that. Do you think we can get like a double discount if we go in together? Why don't we go in and try to literally look exactly like the same person? There you go. Did I tell you?

I told you Dana, I went to the airport in Santa Rosa and I was where you did your special and it was a great gig. And did I already tell you this? And when I walked through, the guy was like staring off into space and I didn't take my shoes off. Does this remind you of a text?

Is everything okay? Oh no, I was just, hold on. I just gonna. Okay. Yeah, no, Dave, it's fine. I'll tell him his mom called. All right. That was my mom?

That was my mom calling to say you've told this story? So I go through and the deputy dog guys like this, he's not even looking at me and he goes, all right, next. And it was a tiny airport. He goes, take your shoes off. And I go, oh, I think I'm in TSA, I don't know. And he goes, well, are you over the age of,

and I go, am I what? And he goes, are you over the age of 75? And I said, are you out of your fucking mind? You didn't just say that and then everyone else said it. Because everyone else is nice to me. They get it. And this guy, I go, no, I'm not. And he goes, hmm.

Then you gotta take them off. Are you fucking? Take what off? My shoes. Just his shoes? I thought he was taking your underpants off. No, he said then take off that old mask. And I go, no, no, this is my face, but I'm not.

He literally said, are you, oh, not under, are you over 75? Get fucked. Hey, I got carted last week at Rite Aid buying a beer. I can't believe I told that story because it's sickening. I guess we'll show a few- That's funny. It's funny.

Do you want to look, what are we going to look at, some stories, headlines? No, we better get to something. Yeah, we're fucking, we gotta haul ass. I told him we were going to the Brownite column two days something. Yeah, we're fucking, we gotta haul ass. I called him two days ago. Okay, we'll do a couple and then we'll do it. We already have a lot of shit.

And I do mean shit. What is this? Oh, this is so dumb. I thought this was cute. It's a witch bee, Dana, and it carries sticks around. It looks like a, they call it a witch, it looks like a broomstick. Isn't that cool?

Well, I- Wee wee wee wee, he flies around. I don't think am I pretty. Yeah. They call it a witch, it looks like a broomstick. Isn't that cool? He flies around, I don't think I'm pretty. Yeah. And then he goes, I'm kidding, it's just a stick. I just fly around. I'll get you, my little pretty. And you little David Spade too. I have a lot of bee bits. The beekeeper.

I have a lot of bee bits. Jason Stratham is the beekeeper, just a quick one. Are you a witch bee? First of all, he has a lot on his mind, you have to set up. We've got a lot of witch bees, but I'll be keeping them all. I don't discriminate. It goes nowhere.

All right, next. Oh, I'm Jason Straben. I do like that. It's kind of cute, right? I think it's just cool. In fucking cute news. All right, no rush as the fucking bit is bombing a miserable death.

Geez, we're bombing in our own room. What are we doing out there? What is this trend? Did this mind- Magic toothbrush. Oh, girls, I saw this last night. I complimented someone on their freckles and they go, oh, it's makeup.

I didn't even know people are putting fake freckles on his makeup. Well, they're tattooing freckles on their face too. Oh, like full tattoos where they stay? Yeah. Lord love a duck. God. No, I am over 70.

You could be doing so much more. You're 72, don't worry about it. I just don't know if freckles are that fucking great. I mean. I like them, but not like the freckles. Like we go back to me and Taylor Swift, that's the only thing. Do you have any freckles anywhere? I like them but not like me. Like we go back to me and Taylor Swift, that's the only thing. Do you have any freckles anywhere? I have freckles.

You have a lot of tattoos Heather. How many roughly? 53. Okay, that was higher than I thought. I wish a 50, 53 tattoo. You heard her right. That she revealed a... Okay, let me see. This one I thought was interesting. A girl, Mooch oblige is the funny headline. She started by holding a cardboard sign that says, I need a husband. And of course, she's attractive. So guys would like apply didn't work, but she got some money out of it. So now she just does stuff, fly me to Miami, buy me a purse, she hangs out in front of Tiffany's as an experiment, she says, hey, buy me a purse,

are you rich? And the guy immediately puffs up and goes, I do pretty good, buy me a Chanel bag. And they fucking do. And so she's gotten videos of her, guys just buy her hotel rooms, Chanel bag. I mean, this is sort of an underground, a hybrid hooker thing that's going on in LA anyway, but, and it's really rampant.

And it's not talked about, but we talk about the hard issues. It's something, it's not really, but it's- Why didn't she just go on OnlyFans and make a billion in her bedroom? This is probably easier because she says, she says she doesn't hook up with anyone. Okay. But, um, I feel like she's just clowning dudes and they go along with it. So there's really, it's a victimless crime.

It's just embarrassing across the board. ["Red Red Rookie"] This is Larry Bubbles Brown, famous comedian. He's gonna call you and you're gonna go over a red, red. That he wrote. Okay. Yeah. We go live.

Criminy. Everybody's listening. Everybody's listening to you. This is Larry Bubbles Brown, everybody. Yay. How are you? Hello, good, good. So.

You're on the air. Criminy. What is your question, sir? Criminy is from Dennis Miller. Criminy. What is your question, sir? Criminy is from Dennis Miller. Criminy, Carmen. Yes. We either, every time I talk with you, we either wind up talking like Dennis Miller or John Wayne.

Christ sakes. Okay. Is that John Wayne? This is John Dennis. Well, we love John Wayne because he's never afraid and we're so afraid of life, right? Yeah, so he's the opposite of us. Yeah, because there's a movie where he goes,

take down the submarine, Pappy. No, Duke, I can't take it down, we're all gonna die. I said, take her down. I like, I miss those kind of guys. No fear. No fear. All right, here's a few- He sounds better on the phone than we do in the real podcast, by the way. Thank you, Tim guys. No fear. No fear. All right, here's a few rednecks. He sounds better on the phone than we do

in the Real podcast, by the way. Thank you, Tim Cook. Go ahead. This is Red Redneckies as written by, and also Chris, our friend Chris Reels has one too. Red Rednecky as written by Larry Bowles Brown. I'll do the best I can, Larry. I'll do one at a time.

I'm Red Rednecky, the redneck comedian. My therapist said I was passive aggressive. So on the way out, I keyed a car. Come and get some on the way out. He laughs at it. He's like, not bad writing. Here's a good one. I'm Red Red Necky, the Redneck comedian.

Took up golf shot 67. Did much better on the second hole. Come and get some. David liked the golf. Red Red Necky is all over the place. He's playing golf. Um, Red, Red Necky is a Red, I'm the Red, Red Necky, Red Neck Comedian. Mama gave me a book on ADD. Couldn't finish it. Come on, get some. I only got to the first D.

I had a, I addendum on that. This is Red, Red Necky, the Red Neck Comedian. Mama gave me a book on ADD, only read one page. Couldn't stop thinking about crawdads too. Come on, get some. Okay. All right. I like that punch up. Much better.

I'm red, red necky, the redneck comedian. Told mama I was gonna donate my car to charity. She said, red necky, where you gonna sleep? Come on, get some. It should be red. Oh, he sleeps in the car. It shouldn't be red. I'm breaking down each joke and clarifying.

Okay, how about this one? I'm Red, Rednecky, the redneck comedian. Met a recluse woman on Tinder. She gave me hermit crabs. Come and get some. Okay, hermit crab. That's a little... No, it's a thinker, and you're not used to thinking

during Red, Rednecky. Okay, here's a little, that's a no, it's a thinker and you're not used to thinking during red redneck. Okay. Here's a non thinker. Okay. I'm red redneck. He the redneck comedian told mama one day. I have a trophy wife. She looked like a moose. Come on get some Yeah, okay. All right. These are a little more. These are a little more thought out. So we're not ready exactly I'm red redneck. He the redneck comedian. My last girlfriend was a treasure, so I bet her come and get some. Okay. Good job, are we still going? Oh no, now let's go.

Here's Chris's joke. Chris Rios wrote it. Anyone can write it. They're not reading them, you're reading them. Do you want to read it? Okay, you read it then. Okay. I'm Red Red Necky, the Redneck comedian.

I took my mama to the grocery store. She picked up two ruts of potatoes and said, "'These remind me of your daddy's balls.' I said, they're that big? She said, no, just that dirty. Come and get some. Oh, Chris. And they cost 99 cents. I know.

Okay, well that's great. Chris is the best, yeah. Good job, Bubbles. Good job, Bob. Any joke that you're doing you want to do for us? You don't have to put you on the spot. One of your favorites to one of your best jokes. Oh, one of my latest newer jokes is I had to close out my account at the sperm bank. It was getting zero interest.

It was getting zero interest, zero interest. And then your catch thing is wow. He does that. And when Larry opens for you, the whole audience starts doing that. Yeah, Felipe does it. I did that when I was going to eighth grade, I used to walk to school and there was like this bird. And every time I'd walk by the tree, it just go meh like that. He sounded like Everett G. Robinson.

Meh. I just started doing that forever now. I don't know why, but it seems to get laughs. Oh, it gets laughs all right. I have to tell the sound man, cut the mic, get him off, get him off. Cut the mic. Yeah, if he kills, get rid of him. If Bobby Lee is killing, you get him off.

All right, Larry, well, we're going to go look at some impressions. So we're closing out with impressions. Larry Bubbles Brown, everybody. All right. Good job. Talk soon. Easy, Greg. Easy. Easy. Bye bye. Let him hang up the phone. And then the guy comes on. OK, this is the Talk soon. Thanks buddy. Easy, Greg. Easy, easy. Bye bye. Let him hang up the phone and then the guy comes on.

There we go. Okay, this is the part where we do impressions. We should ask for something next week. Yeah. Something else, but we'll do them for now. Okay, so let's see. Here's one. We don't know what the impression is, but we're going to watch it and analyze.

We like impressions. Let's say superfly at audacity.com. Send an impression. Send an impression. That's superfly at audacity.com, A-U-D. It's from E-B. Okay. What's up, Spadoodle?

Dana. Here's a character. He's called Bitter Blind Guy. And he's mad at everything. Bitter Blind Guy's walking down the street, neighbors coming. Beautiful day, isn't it? And he's mad at everything I like it better Burning building so a little bit. Oh, I like it better. Leaving a burning building. So there's a fire, you know, large sirens going off. People are leaving telling just.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Keller, leave it. I thought, he's blind? I thought he was gonna yell, guys, it smells like a fire. Is he really blind? Before you annihilate him, go ahead. I think. I think so, cause he tried to disarm us by pretending he was blind, he goes.

Oh, I am really blind. Yeah, I really am too. The way he folded that stick was pretty smooth too, so he must have done it. Obviously. Okay, so we love him. That's awesome. I didn't get it. So he says, here's a blind guy walking by a fire. I thought the joke would be, it's clearly a fire. Then he smells and goes, that's smoke. You guys, there's a fire. But everyone knows because it's, they see it.

He just put them blind that they would just walk into the fire, was that the? They're just like, ah. This is our news. I like the first one when he got mad. Yeah, I understood it. Yeah. Okay, what's next, even though we're going along. Evan Galpert.

Hey guys, thank you so much for everything you've done. Is this a hostage thing? I love you both immensely. For your entire careers. The Mokah and the Mokah, the King of the Mokah. Thank you for much for everything you've done. This is a hostage thing. I love you both immensely. For your entire careers. Thank you for the podcast. And join me for a little theater of the mind as we head to the 17th floor of 30 Rockefeller Plaza in the early 1990s on a Wednesday morning for a conversation with Adam Sadler and Norm McDonald.

Okay. Hey Norm, Lauren said he wanted me to come up with something for update, and the table reads in like an hour, but I got one idea, all right? All right, buddy, show me what you got there. Okay, I think I'm gonna come in as an old lady, and I'm gonna be wearing a long wig and glasses,

and I'm gonna talk to the children like this, and then I'm gonna start getting real crazy, and I'm gonna lose my mind. Sorry, sorry, sorry. And I'm gonna start to the children like this, and then I'm gonna start getting real crazy, and I'm gonna lose my mind and get all the attention and I'm gonna show it to everybody! What do you think? I don't know what you think of that. Yeah, I see what you're doing there with the yelling and the wig and the old lady and stuff. I just don't think it's funny. Thank you. That's just a shtick. I know they love each other. I know they were both hilarious. Thank you for clarifying. That's just a shtick. Yeah, go ahead.

He was good. I mean, yeah. It was fine. I mean, Norm is sort of an easier one because it's Canadian, but I do like his ending where he didn't like. That's kind of, I didn't see that coming. Where he didn't like Adam's. Right. Or his sketch. Oh, I thought what I thought.

Everyone does that character. He kind of went high, which is good. Yeah. When he does, does time. Sometimes he goes high. That was a good ending. I think that's it, Dan. Any final thoughts, are we okay?

19 minutes of extra work? That's not like us. But thanks for watching. We won't make it any worse. Okay, bye guys. Bye-bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Charlie Finan of Brill's Entertainment, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.