Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #72 - Kings and Queens

Episode Date: June 13, 2025

Dana and David talk surgeries, self-driving cars, road stories, LA, Sydney Sweeney, and so much more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know, a couple summers ago, my wife and I were out tooling around looking for a place to have a good time. And we didn't want to stay in a hotel. So we actually got an Airbnb in this certain location and I loved it. It was great. There's a little pad with a key in it. You know, you get directions, you go, you open it up, you get the code, you open up, you get the key, you go in and the place is spotless. Welcome to the place.

And we had a whole kitchen and yard and we were hanging out. So it was nice. Some trips are just better than Airbnb, whether you're looking for more space, whether you're looking for more space, more privacy, or just a better location, Airbnb has you covered. You can discover Canada's hidden gems from cozy cabins, lakeside retreats, and one of the most loved Canadian homes on Airbnb. Think your own pool instead of sharing one with strangers, a yard for the dog instead of sharing your dog with strangers, bedrooms for the kids, and a quiet glass of wine

at night for you. Plus staying together is often cheaper than booking separate hotel rooms and it's a lot more fun. So this summer skip the lobby and hang out in the living room. Explore Canada your way with Airbnb. Let's slide into it. Okay, so I went on the road, Dana, and this is where everyone's riveted and glued to their podcast. Like, oh, weekend 4000 of Spade telling some dumb road story. Yes, it is. Yes, what if it is? I love you on the road.

I don't know if you love you on the road, but when I hear that you're on the road, it just lifts my day. I don't know why. It's fun to hear from your chariot, your throne and your ranch, but when I'm out there grinding. So I go out there, I did a whole Ohio run.

So it was three cities in Ohio. One I do not know of, it's called Newark, had a hot little theater. Nice airport. It's kind of a, you know what, it's a small town. It's not, no, not Newark where all the planes crashed. This is Newark, Ohio. Newark, Ohio?

Oh, excuse me. I was just Newark, Ohio. Newark, Ohio? Oh, excuse me. That's what I said. I was just playing Cleveland, Montana. So anyway, go ahead. Exactly. That's what happened. I go, even people in Newark are going, are we in New Jersey or are we in Ohio? I don't understand what's going on.

I don't trust anything they say. Yeah. Then I went to Dallas, Arizona. Joe keeps going. I like Cleveland, Montana better. Cleveland, Montana, probably real. You can't beat that one. So, by the way, I love this. When did this plant grow back behind you? What? I'm a horticulturalist. I like nature. I'm a horticarchalist. I'm a horticarchalist. I'm a horticarchalist. I'm a horticarchalist. Look, apparently having knickknacks and plants behind you

when you do a podcast exponentially pleases the audience. They close up the audience. I had no knickknacks. Now I've got that little special. Plus, I want everyone to guess what is in that fly on the wall thing, email, and I won't move what I put in there. And next week, if you win, guess what is in that,

I'll reveal it on the next Superfly. Oh, shit. So email us or comment on us and guess. Yeah, I don't even know if there's any way to get ahold of us, but do it. And, oh, and YouTube maybe they us and guess. Yeah, I don't even know if there's any way to get ahold of us, but do it. And, oh, and YouTube maybe they can do it. Yeah.

Also the people, what they say is they watch the whole podcast and they don't mention one joke. They go, Dana's drawer has weird handles. Then you go, that's all you got from this whole motherfucking thing? Hey man, this is our core audience. These are people who love us. They see the details, the drawer handles

are the biggest thing. Look, I don't understand what this new art form is, but I'll tell you one thing. This morning I saw more short films done by chat, GBT or whatever, and it's getting weird. You really can make a film on your laptop now. Why they, do they need us for anything? Or are we sort of obsolete?

We've got a full week left, I'm sure. Well, the skill set is learning how to talk to the robot. You prompt it. David Spade and Theo Vaughan are running away from an army of 10,000 people. And then you'll see it. You don't have to get the 10,000. I mean, that's kind of fun to see that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of fun to have the power to go Spade chased by Godzilla in Scottsdale. Spade journeys to the center of the earth in a spaceship or center of the universe in a spaceship. So anyway, it's just coming. I'm just saying. Look out.

They go, Spade goes to do a show in Ohio and doesn't bomb. And chat BT goes, I can't come up with that. I can't do that. Or something. I actually tried it this morning. Spade gets five standing ovations and I waited 10 minutes for seeing you get the standing ovation,

and then it just came up, skull and crossbones. I don't know what that meant, but. The chat GPT couldn't pull it off? They go. It's at the GPT about your one. Oh, Heather jumped in. She asked chat GPT if Dana was in a gang because he's wearing it.

I asked about your comedy, and they said that you were, they gave you really good comments. Oh, they gave me comments. She asked, what does David Spade do? Or what'd you say? Oh, what's his comedy about? Oh, he crunches leaves and walks and surf.

That's good stuff. Positive stuff. I put it in, I said, is David Spade funny? And it just gave me an emoji like. It gave you this guy? I don't know. I mean, some people say so. I don't get it.

Some people say. ChatGBT, I don't get it. Some people say. ChadGBT, we don't get it in the robot. Here's what you have to learn if you're in ChadGBT. You gotta learn how to say down robot, down robot, because they can get out of hand. I saw a girl look like a robot. I told Heather, she had so much Botox or four little rounds, and then she had paint on eyebrows.

I go, look like something from iRobot, you know? We're starting to look all the same. It's all bad. We're trying to say robot. Our goal is to say robot 100 times this episode. Oh. And we're halfway there. I'll take a win.

Hang on, we haven't done this yet, Dana. One of my shows in Cleveland was right next to a clinic. ["The Daily Show"] ["The Daily Show"] ["The Daily Show"] ["The Daily Show"] ["The Daily Show"] ["The Daily Show"]

Dana, guess what? I ordered you something else online. Where is it? The things I do for Dana. I don't have it yet, but Heather and I are ordering it. Cause I go, I saw some other do hickey. I go, oh yeah, we gotta have it for Dana. I am a minimalist as you know. I go, oh, yeah, we got to have it for dinner. I am a minimalist, as you know.

I don't have or I don't want anything. But I really want that fucking thing because whoever invented that sound, was it the 20s or the 30s? It works still. It's so perfect. And after you make a love with someone, you put that on and. They go, you said your wiener was gonna go straight up. I go, yeah, I've said it before, but take a look.

Camera pans down. No wonder Debbie Downer was a hit. So she goes like this. She had a funny. Now, Dana, I would get to how I stayed next to the Cleveland Clinic, and it was tubulated into my hotel with another hospital. So you could walk, it's cold, you know?

Right. And what happened was it was like an ant farm and all these sick people were just coming into my hotel. Because I was in between. So I'm like the nice hotel hospital bed basically. So the hotel on both sides and a tube takes it by through your hotel? So a clinic which is very well known and then like a hospital or a university. Yeah, yeah Cleveland Clinic. Yeah, yeah. Right, very nice. And then they have tubes because it's so cold out. They're smart.

Like the second floor, third floor, you walk around the city, you can sort of connect, which is such a great idea. We should do it in Arizona because it's so hot, but it's cold there. So you do that. So when I get on the third floor every day, I'm like, I don't know if this is a normal hotel. Everyone's pushing an IV. So I go, what's going on?

They go, ah, we got some spillage from the spillover. Yeah, so. Yeah, because you know, it's just by the way, germ, no offense, but germs obviously everywhere. And then doctors on there and everyone, and the doctor goes, I go, I know you, third floor. He goes, no, I'm going to eight. Actually have a patient here.

Well, that's the last one. No, no, there's two reasons it's funny. One is it's funny. It's a funny sound. The second reason is how much joy you get by doing it. So there's two lanes of funny. So the fact how happy you are, I don't ever want you to stop

until you're not happy making that sound. I know. And it until you're not happy making that sound. I know. And it makes you sort of happy adjacent to watch me try to milk bits out of this thing. Right. Well, that's, you know, I mean, that's the last thing you want after you come out of surgery is that sound.

Now hit it. How to go, doc. Ready? How to go, doctor. They go like this. Here's the last thing you see. You go, Dana, you're about to go under. They go like this. Here's the last thing you see. You go, Dana, you're about to go under. You're gonna count to 10.

And then you say, okay, I'm a little nervous. They go, you shouldn't be. We've done sex change surgeries before. Wait, I'm going under. Oh. Dana, by the way, you look a little loopy today and you wanna say why to our viewers? I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm yeah, you can't. For three days and I had a really cool Pendleton cowboy hat that got lost. I was gonna wear that.

Oh, that would have been great. I'd looked like Christian Bale in 310 to Yuma. Look it up. So then at the last second, this was on top of the dryer. This, so yeah, I had a pain and these glasses. So I had a pain pill, whatever that So yeah, I had a pain, and these glasses. So I had a pain pill, whatever that is. So I'm a little loopy. Oh yeah.

Mm-hmm. But I don't cancel. It's only been 36 hours since I was, zz-zz-zz. But yeah, they stitch you up, they go down the dig. And everyone's like, oh, I had it, I felt nothing. Well, guess what? I felt something. Well, guess what? I felt something.

Yeah, I think I was the only one that was brave enough to say it is. Mine was a double, which whatever that means is just a little more tricky. We have the same doctor, which is funny. Mine was bad, Dana, because when I did it, the doctor said, oh, it's outpatient or whatever. Right. And I woke up and I go, I'm not going anywhere.

My brother, had my brother come out and he carried me, put me in a wheelchair. I was like, cause you know, your like muscles are cut. So I was like, oh fuck. He carried me like a baby, like a bodyguard. Like a little baby. And at insult to injury, my dipshit neighbor dug in his front yard and caught out all the power

lines so I got home and I couldn't get in the gate. It sounds like rich problem is a gate. And then so my brother had to bump the gate, it was back carrying me all the way to the house which was pitch black, no electricity. So he terrifyingly puts me in the bed and I'm just like, I can't get up if there's a fire, if there's a problem. I'm like, this is so scary. And I'm on my pain pills, which I don't like taking for any real reason. I just want to take them for fun. And so I'm laying there and then I've got a catheter jammed up the wazoo. It's up to my ribs. I think I went too deep for that. I turned down the catheter. I said, yeah, I'm cool. Oh Dana. Yeah, it's optional.

You could have just said, mm-mm. No, because I didn't want to get up and pee. I couldn't stand up. My brother the next day had to pick me up and just swing me around just for fun. I don't know why I asked that. How big is your brother? That was,

This is a cyclops. What a job. He's like, I came out here to take care of you. I don't want to do literally everything. And I'm like, can you check my catheter? It feels a little loose. He's like, I'm sorry, what? We had the same surgeon who's great.

He's world renowned, but you know, I get in there and they're kind of like, well, he's got a special case right now. So he had an extra large person and it took like three to four hours. So I waited and then when he came in, I said, are you all right, dude? Do you need a snack or something?

Cause he, he looked pretty- He's wiped out. He looked- Oh, your stomach hurts when you laugh. Yes. Not my stomach, it's the groin area. Groin, you know? I'll be fine. The guy did a great job,

brilliant surgeon, super nice guy, and you know, what are you gonna do? I just think you should manage your expectations. He asked me before I went, are you nervous? I go, surprisingly no. And you go, you should be a little nervous. Jesus, he goes, I'm nervous as shit. Yeah. But he said, I'm nervous as shit. Yeah.

But he said, I just did this huge, I don't want to say fat guy, but like monstrously he was a fat guy. And he goes, I'm wiped out. But I say, we just get this one, knock it out, then we can all go to lunch. And you're like, yeah, let's just buzz through this one quickly. Well, you know, they always say it's a chip shot in golf, like meaning that it's easy, but chip shots are not very easy.

So I don't know where that came from. But he did a great job. And I just will be glad when I don't feel pain getting up and moving around, but I'm fine as long as don't make me laugh or I'll be in pain. So now you have a challenge. I won't do it. Believe me, you're in no danger. When I was in there, they go, it's a third day. We think we're going to get your catheter out. I didn't want to look. It's so crazy that that even

happens because it goes into your wiener. You know what that is medically? So it's like a number two pencil. It's way too big to be in there. So goes in there and then she goes like this. They just pull it out, right? And what happens is the way it stays in just to sicken everyone you might want to pull over is at the end it's got a little like a balloon like so it stays in and slide out. So one time they go one time they forgot to deflate that part and started yanking. I go, I can't hear it. I can't hear it. Well that, see you're making me laugh again. That is hilarious.

It's hilariously horrifying. That is so funny. But other than that, I think I'm glad you're okay. I'll be fine. I'll just say this is the lupius I've been on the podcast, even more than when I had dental work right before I came over and did the podcast. And also you're being tough because you look a bit of a gangbanger today, which is kind of cool,

and tough guy with the plan. I'll just announce it. I mean, this is my new look. I mean, there's no reason, there's no logical reason for me to look anything other than what I look right now, because I can see it. If you can look this cool and this badass, why would you look wimpy?

I mean... I'm picturing it like it's just black hair and it looks funnier. Like that's just your black hair growing in. I'm doing an edge. I'm doing an edge. I'm doing edge with Bono and edge, yeah. Oh, this is the edge, that's right.

It looks like hair. Okay. It looks like hair. I picture it looking like hair and it's funnier to me. Right, that's good. Like, it's bangs. I'm happy for you. One thing, do you have more road stories

besides the hospital one? No, there's no real, that's not even a real story. Yes, that's it for the road. What else you got? ["Spen D. Suzy"] Dana, I'm a little bit of a Spendy Suzy. I, a boozy Suzy and a Spendy Suzy. I'm a boozy Susie and a spendy Susie. Yeah, I'm more of a boozy Susie.

But yeah, you are a spendy spender, yeah. And a lot of our listeners are nice enough to write in and say, you look like you drank a lot and slept on your face. But that's just constructive criticism. Well, it's very concise, and you don't really drink very much. I'll tell the fans. Just puffy. This is where Klarna comes in. It's very concise and you don't really drink very much, I'll tell the fans.

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it's sort of weird that you see these little, there's driverless cars, Waymo's, right? And they're all over LA. And then eventually, and then you see the little cars, see the Waymo's, and they're kind of cute. And you do extrapolate into rooting for the Waymo. There's no driver, but you know it's an AI, but you sort of watch it.

Oh, I hope it makes the right turn. So during the local festivities in downtown LA, people who were protesting decided to call the little robot Waymo to come pick them up and then they would explode it or burn it up. So the Waymo actually they've installed a little AI voice like, yes, sir. Right away. Downtown L.A. See you in 19 minutes. Yeah. Oh, there you are.

I'll pick you up. What the fuck? You're going to explode me. Oh, my fucking God. Oh, that's horrible. So I. Oh, is that a bottle of booze? Oh, it's gas inside.

Why is there a rag on the? Wow. What did I do to you? Please don't explode me. I don't want to be exploded. So anyway, I just felt like that was kind of a nasty thing to do. But I don't know if the riots were anti-Waymo.

I don't know what was going on. I don't know if the riots were anti-Waymo. I don't know what was going on. I don't know what they would, please don't deport me, but then they had Mexican flags that were waving. You'd think like, where do you want to go? What? I mean. I know.

I think the message is a little confusing. I get the message of if people have jobs and they're doing and they're contributing, I didn't think that's what this was all about, but that is the message, I think. And it's getting blurry when it gets more riotous. And there's professional rioters that definitely come into this and they are here to shake shit up and cause trouble. And when it gets like that, it gets away from the original intent and then it just turns into chaos. And then it's looting and it's all these problems.

And then no one even knows what's going on. And then they bring in the National Guard to ideally just make people go, hey, just stop. We gotta just stop what we're doing and just figure this out instead of, it's getting worse. You know, you don't want it to get worse. And back in 2020, we can't burn down the city again. It's just too much, it's too much,

hurts too many businesses, hurts everyone. And they got the Olympics coming and they got World Cup. And so, you know, I feel like it, first of all, I saw it, I thought it was a rerun. Second of all, I was like, I've got a great solution then, and you're gonna love this. All right, here we go. We send in Bonnie Blue. Do you know Bonnie Blue? And together likes this idea. She's the one that had sex with a thousand people. She could try to have sex with all the people

at the protest. Then it turns into a fun thing. Right, and it still can get its message across. Yeah, it gets a little watered down with Bonnie Bloom, but she brings joy because her next thing she's doing is she's, I don't know if Heather heard this one, this isn't putting women, it's not projecting them forward. It might be inching them back

because she is gonna go in a glass cage and let 24 hours, whoever wants to come in, do whatever they want to. This was already done, and it was done. Oh. And it got very, very like that. I do remember one girl just stood there and said, do what you want to me. They started very minimal.

And then they slapped her and they punched her and they. There was blood at the end, and strangulation, and everything. This, I think she's just going pure have sex with me. I mean, it's sort of whatever you want, but I don't think she's there to play cricket. Yeah. Yeah, I feel a little different. This woman had all sorts of tools laid out.

She might not be able to. Oh, tools? To either have sexual interactions. Or to hurt her. Or hurt her physical. They can do whatever. That was like an art piece. This one's a little less arty in my mind.

A little lower on the art scale and more on the corn dog boner scale. That's a bit of a stretch. Human beings, whatever they can think of, eventually they'll do. So someone thought of that. Hey, how about I do 10 men and then an hour later, all right, I got you, I'm going for a thousand.

By the way, I have to say, living in California and over the years, having people from south of the border, from different countries, working for us and with us, very hard working patriotic people. So I don't want those people bothered at all. So just want to go on record. You know, they pay taxes. Of course. I think the idea is part of the people think that everyone comes over the border is horrible and part think that everyone is great. I think there's a huge percentage that come over to have a better life. And then there's some that play our system because we clowned it up and just opened it. And so if you open it, other countries say, Hey, if I'm a bad guy, this is our chance to get in and get settled. And now I can cause trouble if that's my, if that's what I want to do.

But there's a ton of great people here and you know, it's a messy thing, but yeah, you, you want, you want the criminals to kind of not hang out. Well, I don't, yeah, we want to get rid of people and then you don't know why they're down. Like if they're going in to get someone that, like if you told me someone I knew was also a trafficker,

I wouldn't know that, but they might know more than we do. So they might have a reason, but I don't know. I don't like that they're just grabbing regular people, of course, because people are here working for 10 years and they're trying to do it right and it's getting muddied by the people that do it wrong. It's just a big mess. This Bonnie Blue thing might not fix it.

And then if not, I'm out of ideas. Hold that thought. I mean, I'm not going to shit on the Bonnie Blue concept. You're not going away from that just yet. You're not going to throw it away. I'm not going to punt if you're a football on that. That's our best option right now. And if there's a better one, have football on that. It's just- That's our best option right now. But if there's a better one, I'll take it. But right now, that's the placeholder.

I live in a sanctuary county. Most, I think LA is a sanctuary city. It's a sanctuary state basically. So, but anyway, it's messy. I don't want anyone to get hurt. And I just want us all to live in peace and harmony. I'm from the sixties. I'm an old hippie basically. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I just don't want, the looting, the fires, the burning, it just doesn't help anyone, and it's a lot of nice people down there that have little businesses, you're like, just let them be, they don't wanna be a part of this, no one does. No, and again, just in the macro,

if you think of the United States government and the California government, the local government, you want them to take care of the national parks, make sure they tax and help people and do all that. But I have two things I want from the government. The first thing is to protect me from enemies outside of the US. And the other thing is to protect me

from criminals in my neighborhood. So those are the two, number one and number two things I want. So law and order downtown just creates more jobs, more businesses. And I am running, I'm running against Karen Bass. I should announce that once I get, once I get off these pain pills, I'll start the campaign. They asked Joe Exotic what he thought of her and he goes, Karen Baskin, you bitch. Sounds like that's the whole thing. Karen Baskin, it sounds like. And the reaction to that. No, you were going to play him and now you do the best impression of him. Now

I just do an impression of him. That's like the only one I got left. Okay. Other than that, yeah, the World Cup, but what they will do is I don't like the skim job of when Gavin Newsom had, you know, the leader of China come to San Francisco, he cleaned up all the homelessness and everything and all the drug people for one week till the guy came, and then he let it go to shit.

It's like, why don't you just fix it for people in San Francisco? Don't fix it for someone. So when the Olympics come, he's just making more of a problem. They're gonna have to clean up downtown and graffiti. They want it to look pristine, right? Or move the Olympics.

The Olympics are funny because every city that hosts the Olympics tries to go all out, paint everything perfect, get rid of the weirdos, you know, and just make it a... You know, it's a big PR stunt. But, El... In France, they tried to hide the poop in the river. Remember, they all threw it in the river.

Or they threw it in the river and thought it would flow through and no one would notice. And the swimmers went and went, what the fuck? And that shit, that called shit, that bit, that bit, I got shit in my mouth. Yeah, exactly. I know. Okay, go ahead, what were you saying?

They should do the Olympics in the San Francisco Bay Area because it's too fucking hot in LA in August. And the Bay Area has a much more temperate climate, it has all the facilities. I'm just saying, there's Stanford University for the track and field, you know, swimming. Yeah, it's got redwood trees. It's a much better climate, but LA, I don't know,

I wish them all the best, but I, you know, they gotta clean it up. Well, let's get to the stories. That was a big story in LA this week, because everyone's talking about it, but everyone's waiting to hear what's our take. It's kind of ongoing. I mean, the latest thing,

which I thought was kind of funny title, it was a anti-king or not a king. We don't want a king. Oh, yeah. That's Saturday. Yeah, I thought it was just sort of funny. The way Trump is, he'll dress up as a king with a crown come out. Oh, yeah. I was thinking, did he do something like that or they're just saying in general he feels because he's bringing tanks out. Whatever they think he's doing, they think it's too much. I think those are gonna be in every city though.

So look out Saturday. Look out Saturday. Don't go to Burger King. You might wanna stay in. Okay, let's play a story of one of our stupid stories and we'll comment on it, which we all find out at the end of the show we're all AI or something.

Let's see. We're tricked every show. I'm gonna be honest this time with my response. I'm not gonna be joking. All right. I'll let you know. All right, go. Okay, ready.

Now we're ready. By the way, you like this color on me, Dana? It's called maroon, I think. It matches perfectly with everything in there, but that one sign behind you is pretty bright. The silver one. This one, the YouTube. Yeah. I can't, I would never do the weather. Yeah, that one we're going to switch out.

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Well, if Diddy's off, what do you think of Diddy as a host? I think, can Diddy get off? He might, right? If Diddy gets off, they're really circling this trafficking because they're saying, if you flew a girl to Vegas and gave her a thousand dollars spending money and then had sex with her, that could be sex trafficking because you brought someone over state lines, gave them money to have sex. So that's a small version of it, which has been done every day since the beginning of time. But, but the actual stuff he's doing is basically it it's gonna be one of those lawyer things,

day in and where he goes, listen, do I wanna go bowling with Diddy? No. Is he a gross fig? Yes. Does he do all these horrible things? Not a great guy. Is he on trial for being a great guy?

No, cause he'd lose. What, is he a sex trafficker? Ladies and gentlemen, the jury, we're missing, this is what we're judging them on. Not all this. This is all noise. It's gross noise. It's pretty rough and tumble over there in the old Diddy household.

I know. I'll bet that guy already has his closing statement. He's just going to go, P. Diddy, a shitty guy, but nothing, didn't do anything illegal. Boom. Boom. Yeah. He goes like this. In closing, I'd like to say, Pee shitty over here? I call him that.

You should too. He's a fucking asshole. This guy is gross. What he's doing makes me cringe. Is he a sex driver? This guy is crude. He's rude. He's obnoxious. He's lewd, he's a sex fiend, he has too much

money, no one really knows what he does, but is he a sex trafficker? No. We gotta let him walk out. He's got a table tonight at a club. He'll go out and be awful. If he gets off, he's gonna be the king of the world. He'll be like, everyone will be like, easy. There's definitely people that will treat him like a hero. Of course, like, oh man, you beat him.

He won't miss a step. Yeah, and the guy who's gonna give the closing statement is? I like, you still talk like the lawyer, you go. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Who is the guy giving the closing statement? Mr. Bill Cosby. You see the ladies like the baby oil all the time

and he just didn't the baby oil dismiss. I haven't done Cosby in two years. So I'm a little humble. I know that's a pretty good one. Cosby was the mentor. Is he a jerk? Is he this? Is he that?

Is he a criminal? Nope. Dismissed. Not a great guy. David, give us a topic and I'll riff on it and then you tag me. This is not planned. Okay.

There is a- What? Oh, we're not gonna do this one. It's too controversial. There's a how to train your dragon sequel. Why is that? It's live action. It's not.

God, I had a good one though. I'm looking at Yahoo news. Yahoo. Okay, I'll set you up with this one. No. Oh, Brad Pitt asked if he'd work with Tom Cruise again and he gave one stipulation. I can't click on it though, God dang it.

What do you think it is? They'd have to do the vampire movie again? Oh, I know we can talk about Heather's precious Sydney Sweeney's soap. No, it's bath water. Sydney Sweeney. Is she selling beauty products? She's selling some of her bath water that they're going to put in soap that guys can whack off to or something. It's soap with a hole whack off to or something. It's soap with a hole in it, I heard.

That part is the best hook of all. So Tana's like, this is the crumbling of America. And I don't want to think that Sweeney is selling male sex toys, basically. Yeah, yeah. you know what? Now that you position it like that, yes. Is she publicly traded? Can I buy her as a stock? Cause that thing's gonna go fucking ballistic.

Yeah, her ex, no, during the movie with Glenn Powell, you know, they did that fake romance. I don't know if you remember this. Might be a little out of your orbit, but. I know about that. The girlfriend just finally said that she was very miffed by the whole situation, which she should be. I have to take her side that she was flying out to Australia

and he said, you know what? She said like, Kamala, don't come, don't come. Because she goes, he says, this is where he got a little, I thought a little rude. The producers and I talked, we don't think you should fly out here because it would hurt the fake romance there that he's cheating. And she was like, that's when I decided I should go. By the way, if you're telling a female, oh, me and my producers decided, why would they have anything to do with, you know, offensive?

I don't know. I haven't had that experience, but it must be odd if your significant other, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, is just doing basically soft core porn on a movie set all day. It just must be odd. I mean, you'd like to go there and look, right? And off camera. Yeah, she wanted to come check in on those because she heard rumors and she was going to buzz out there and they said, don't buzz. And so, but I met Glenn Powell recently, thought he was a super cool guy. I'm a guy, I'm from a different world. Like I'm not in this thing with her. So, but she did make sense to me.

Like that's, I would get the offensiveness of you should tell me this is all fake and you should tell me that you wouldn't cheat. And she goes, he wouldn't say that. I know, but if you do that too much, it seems like the opposite is true. Honest baby, I'm telling you, man, nothing's going on. I think she's ugly, you know, kind of thing.

Yeah. You go, Sydney Sweeney, that gross, are you joking? Are you joking? Are we on some kind of Canon camera show? Is this a joke show? Is this a prank show? The idea that I would be attracted to Sydney Sweeney. Or turned on, yeah.

Or somehow because we're naked under sheets for hours filming that it would mean anything. Are you out of your mind, darling? That's good. It's always, always gas. Like what's going on? Oh, something happened on my computer. So that's Sydney Sweeney. And, uh, I get why the girlfriend Gigi got a little sideways, you know, it's not my business. That's never kept me out of anything. It's not my business. I think it's only human and natural for her to kind of go, whoa, you know.

Yeah. I mean, unfortunately, Sydney Sweeney is a monstrous star and Glenn Powell is a huge star. It just, you know, any relationship, it's a tough ride when people are blowing up. Yeah, they're, yeah, he's a male leading man, she's a leading woman, you know, and they do a lot of sex scenes in their films. It's really, and she's gorgeous, it's like three good looking people,

so I'm sure they'll all land on their feet. Okay, here's the next story, and then we're gonna wrap it up. We're gonna wrap it up. I'm gonna, yeah, but I got one that'll affect you because someone sent me this and I did see this story. Mike Myers involved in the Diddy trial. Did you hear that?

They said his- I've heard, yeah, a lot of these things. What is it? Is the idea that his parents, because I think these things. I, what is it? Is, is the idea that his parents, cause I think he's, their parents are British, Mike's parents? From Liverpool. Okay. Right.

So they, like the Beatles. They might be, what is the thing is that his parents had jobs in something over there, so they're trying to find a link. I, you know what? I, I just, I should text him and find out. We should find out. It cleared up. I didn't even want to bring it up.

I thought it was one of those silly things. The initial thing that I saw was a picture of him as Austin Powers. And he's looking at himself as Dr. Evil has his pants down. You see his butt and on Dr. Evil's butt is a tattoo of P. Diddy. Is that true? Is that in the movie? I only, you know, this is...

It could be fake. It could be in the movie as a joke. But, yeah. I don't think there's anything nefarious going on. And then there was rumors that Mike took a tour of the CIA facilities. Uh, I just assume everything's a fake until I hear otherwise, you know, or there's also a reason. I mean, curiosity, it could be anything. You don't know. And, uh, but we should ask them, we can clear it up for him. We can come on. He's a friend of the show.

Friend of the show. It's, it's Wayne. I was, you know, I'm Garth. He's Wayne. I've always got his back. Yeah, it's fucking Garth and Wayne. Garth always vouches for his friend. By the way, I just didn't want people to go without seeing my movie poster. Tell me, is it too? The Godzilla?

Oh, you tilted down. You're smart. I think it's cool. May just get a little more in evidence. So maybe on that door or maybe right behind the plant or something. Yeah. Up on the wall instead of I like it. Do you? Do you? Do you really? Just trying to do something colorful. Cause you know, I had the white wall and apparently people, is he from a low, you know, because I had the white wall and apparently people, is he from a low crime facility or something?

Is he chained to a radiator? I move around too, so. Double tree in. Yeah, well, I think you gave it 120% today, Dan, and everyone's applauding you. You got a million birthday messages on YouTube last week. They were very nice. Oh, that's nice.

People like you, God knows why. Yeah. I don't really. I should have checked them, but I don't know. I like to have a little fun at one point every day, even if it's watching the basketball game with an ice cold beer or whatever. You're gonna watch tonight, Friday, the Pacers. I don't have to wink on that one. The Pacers are playing tonight. I saw the game the other night. Right, the other night, yeah.

That was, it's turned into a really, really exciting series. It's a bit of a battle royale. I think it's what everybody wanted, yeah. Yeah, no one's walking over anybody else, so. Yeah. What about the shot? Who was on the side of the court to prove that you saw it? Caitlin Clark was sitting with who, go.

Caitlin Clark was sitting with other WNBA people. Yep Reese, I don't know, she was a celebrity. I think it was two other players. I thought you knew. Well, one was Reggie Miller was in the stands when they were playing in Indianapolis. Right. Yeah. She was with two other gals from the WNBA, but I don't know who they were.

And you didn't even know who she was sitting with. You asked me. I asked you as a trick, so you'd answer. You didn't know the answer, but I got it right. Two other WNBA stars. Yeah, maybe Sabrina, I don't know. It's not really that riveting, but I just was curious. And it was fun to see them out at a regular NBA game.

Yeah. I mean, I think it's great. The WNBA and whoever you want to give credit to is on the map. Its ratings are going up exponentially. So it's good to see Caitlin Clark. She's great. Is she playing again? That's the last question.

Then I'll let everyone go. I think she had a little injury or something, but yeah, she started out. I mean, yeah, she's setting records all the time. And meanwhile, look at you, hernia back here, busting your ass on this podcast. I'll come back better and stronger. You know, it just happens. But I had such strong abs that the guy did it a different way.

He said, you didn't break a scalpel, did he? No, no, but you can do a mesh, like put a little mesh on it, or you can just go with the actual tissue if it's really strong. Yeah, with me, they said, you know, because it's so dainty down there. And I go, what does that mean? He goes, no, it's just because

you're so gushy and smushy. Well, I shouldn't even be saying this, but he knows we're friends and everything. And he said, look, I shouldn't have done this, but it's organic, it probably was absorbed. But when I did David's surgery, I put a little dandelion in there. Oh, he did?

Yeah, I go, you put a dandelion in there? He goes, yeah. That's fine, a dandelion. And I Oh, he did? Yeah, I go, you put a dandelion in there? He goes, yeah. That's funny. And I said, he named his special that, you can see it on Amazon Prime. And he goes, really, in Amazon Prime right now, it's playing? Yes, dandelion, David Spade.

Lie. And then he said, Dana, I'm gonna give you a hint for your next special. You might wanna call it Sponge. Cause he left one in you and scalpel. You left a scalpel in there? He goes, I'm forgetful. Yes, he left an inflatable raft when I had a minor foot thing. There's probably a kink with some doctor where he like leaves something small in some.

That's a sickening thing, but I guarantee you it's real. I guarantee you. Yeah, definitely. Or writing things on different organs and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. OK, well, thanks for. I appreciate that. I'm puking everyone out in the last five seconds.

Well, I didn't know what to do with my hands. Normally I'm holding it and I finally got a thing like this. So I know you got a microphone going like this. I was going like this, I went like this. I mean, I should really be at a comedic stance of some kind. Yeah, it's weird, because if no one notices, I have a mic stand and Dana always holds it like a comedian, but at a certain point he decided to grow up.

Well, I had one of these things attached to the table and it broke and I'm kind of scattered. I didn't fix it, so I just held it for two years. Yeah, you're like, Paul? Ma? Little house in the prairie. All right, Dan, if that wasn't the end, I think people realize this is the end now. We want this. This is like the movie credits. Yeah, this is like the doors. This is the end.

You're still here? You're still watching? You're still watching, you're still listening, you're still driving. You're still watching. You're still watching. You're still listening. You're still driving. I want to thank you once again for the next super fly. I'm going to do something that I've never done before, but in the comment section on YouTube, try to guess what I've placed in that little- I'm going to guess too.

Leather thing. And if you guess it, we're going to have it. We're're gonna get some kind of, some good's gonna happen to you. What? Oh my, that's it? Well, do you want to announce a prize? Oh, well, could you send it to him or do it to mine? Send whatever's in there?

Yeah. Is that like a hint or a clue? No, we could send it to them as a winner. We can say you win it. Oh, I see. Is it possible? I mean, we could send them the bag. But then I wouldn't. No, we send them it to them as a winner. We could say, you win it. Oh, I see. Is it possible? I mean, we could send them the bag. But then I wouldn't.

No, we send them what was in it. What's in it. It is possible they could send it. Okay, so maybe we'll do that, of course. But how do we know if they're gonna want it? They won't want it. They might. Okay, we'll figure it out.

We're gonna figure it out. We're trying to create mystery on the show. Yeah, it's so much mystery. People are like fucking freaking out. Okay, I'm gonna go. And, Dan, it're gonna figure out. We're trying to create mystery on the shelf. Yeah, it's so much mystery people like fucking freaking out Okay, I'm gonna go and Dana. It was nice meeting you and we're gonna have a great time. So take care yourself I'll check on you later. Yes, sir This has been a presentation of Odyssey superfly is executive produced by Dana Carby and David Spade Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman.

Hope you liked it. Ooh.