Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY - Pilot Episode

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

The Super Bowl, the Golden Bachelor, a Brad Pitt facelift, movie premiere outfit breakdowns, and more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Dana, it's called The Future. And I was the Kanye of that premiere and I have work boots which work well. My coat doesn't fit. Do you have a starter joke? Three, two, one. No, I will start this off by showing you a video. Little energy. You're going to show a video. I'm going to try because we're on video.

We're on video. So I want to show it. I have my first SNL audition and I don't think you saw it. And I said, let's start this with something to talk about. So I tried to watch it in Lauren's office. And then he goes, oh, there's better things to talk about. He clicked it off. so I never saw it. Oh, this is it, ready? A new Susie, like I know Susie.

Oh, oh, oh, what a guy. OK, because I want to show that I can sing and I'm not one-dimensional. You look great. It's me, what a guy with you. I added that fake plan at the end. That was good. I didn't know you could do that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I bought a new car. Oh, yes. Well, it's not really new. It's an old UPS truck. I got it so I can park wherever I want. That's not bad. I think I remember that when you were my Oprah, by the way, a dandy little opener, when we toured the Northeast. We in a rental car.

I remember that line. Yeah, that was one of my big ones. I looked young back then, not this haggard fucking Nick Nolte after the dryer cycle that you see before you. I talked to Betty Davis's granddaughter. Lighting is everything. We're going to talk later. You're going to have to, you look great. What are you doing? I just want to preen and cramp. Every time I walk by a me or my dad, he used to go, see anybody you like? Oh, we also have professional laughers on the set. We should introduce this.

Oh, yeah, we brought them in. They're the professional laughers union, the president, Heather Santoro and Chris Rios, who's also a beauty consultant to the stars and others. And so they are going to be laughing when we point. Okay, so I'm going to start off. You can't see them, but they've been laughing their ass off the whole time. The audience can't see them.

I think we talk, because we talk all the hot topics. Let's talk about this Johnny Depp trial. Let's do it for hot topics. No, yeah. Johnny Depp. No, topics. Now, we're going back ways. No, I'm going to tell you quickly. What do you got? Because this podcast would do better if it was a Taylor Swift chat room. So I think we're going to open with Super Bowl stuff because a couple of things I have to say about it before we get to Taylor. Because she is the whole Super Bowl. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift.

So one thing I think that no one's talking about enough is that why is the Super Bowl still having Roman numerals after it? Do you think kids are dumb when you have regular numbers in front of them? What kid isn't going V, X, X? They don't know what that is. No, that's a really good point.

And it always has driven me nuts. I think like outrage over things that don't really matter is great. He's like, what the fuck is with the numeral fucking numbers in the Super Bowl? Just to get really angry. It's a controversial stance, but that's what we're here for. Taylor Swift, I'm feeding the algorithm right now.

I don't think the algorithm picks up audio though. How about this one, new nickname for the super couple, Tay Tay and Cal Cal. Uh-oh. We're pulling them up. Also, I don't like any Instagram puberty. I don't like, it sounds like pubes and I also don't like everything is all caps with them.

This is the fucking Kanye Instagram because it's like Taylor Swift, I read it with all that excitement and I'm like I don't I Do care well, you know you could be doing pretty well in America You you could make a pretty good amount of money and then no matter what you're just shrunken down She made two billion dollars that just said she generates $331 million for Kansas City if she just goes to the city. Was that what it meant? How many times can she go to the subway there or whatever they have, the fucking Jimmy Johns?

I mean, come on, Tay-Tay. 33 million? How many times can she code? No, 333 million have generated because people just hear she's in Kansas City and get in their car and start flooring. And they just send, they vanmocanthes the city just money. They're like, they just send money. Taylor Swift, bloop, bloop, bloop.

Put 10 people in a crazy eight hotel, each room has 10 people, they're drinking and partying. I have another big controversial stance. Let's say, first of all, did you know at the Super Bowl, at halftime Taylor Swift is gonna decide the election. She walks out and picks a candidate and then they just win because why bother voting? She pointed and they went. So that's good.

Yeah, and then her boyfriend picks her up and goes hip-hip-eray, cause six five, two fifty, five eleven, one twenty five, do the math. What is their kid gonna look like, David? Cause they're gonna have a kid. Six, five, two, 50. That's dad dad.

What if she does like a Beyonce and when they win the Super Bowl, they pan over to her and everyone gives her a little room and then she rubs her stomach like I'm pregnant. Everyone goes, holy fucking shit. And then they jizz all over the screen. All of America. Well, your screen looks like it has some eyes on it.

So I don't know if that was literal or figurative. There's a vague sheen over his camera, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know, it's twice a day. I gotta come out there for the porn. I was gonna tackle the other big story of the week. Brad Pitt facelift. And I do this news. I'm going to do it as as a beetle because it's called beetle news.

You got to have a name for your thing. Hello, everybody. This is Beats the News and we're talking about things here. We're talking about some people think that Brad Pitt got a got a sucker upper got a sucker upper you know you take the turkey neck you know and you clinch it up and you sense it off you trim the little extras you wrap it around the ears you know and you go walking about I'm Brad Pitt Enjoy the Super Bowl like never before with Bet MGM. Download and try the Bet MGM app during the biggest Sunday of the NFL season. Even if you can't be in Vegas for kickoff, a huge variety of parlay selection features and player props. Make the Bet MGM app the next best thing for Super Bowl excitement. Download the app today and find out why BetMGM is not only an official sports

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but go remember when they only gave us one and then they canceled it. Remember when we shot the pilot and it was unusable? Oh, here's another thing, Dan. When the kids hate billionaires, this is heavy. You can step out of this one if you want. When kids are so mad at billionaires and then you go, oh, Taylor Swift is a billionaire now,

do you have to automatically hate her? Go. Well, you can adjust. Like as you know, Bernie Sanders used to go, the problem with America is the million is and the billion is. And then he found out, and this is true, how Franken told me this, he found out he was a millionaire. So the next stump speech, it's the billion as you idiot, the fucking billion is.

What about the million is? They're great. They're good guys. I bled into a little bit of Fauci. Oh yeah, that was a little scratchy Fauci. Billion is what about the million is they're great Let into a little bit of Fauci. Oh, yeah, that was a little scratchy. They're about the same. They're both No, I do him as a crosswalk guard. That's how I get into the voice Bernie Sanders is a crosswalk guard It's don't proceed. Don't proceed the systems rigged. Don't proceed, the system's rigged. Don't proceed. It's the don't that gets me into that. I like it. It's like me pole.

It's like me pole was a bit off for a bit. I'm coming back. Sorry. I can do voices now and no one can stop me. We don't have some pesky guest. We have the easy laugh crowd back there. But you're really nailing it. So who are you taking in the Super Bowl?

Can I just ask, who are you taking? You know, I do, I think the, it's not a three minute thought box. Here's one. Here's one. It's one team or the other. I can't say because we have so many fans and they'll get mad, but.

Well, I wanna hear this. You're gonna take San Fran. I know this. Well, I want to insert the two comedians that have talked about football who hate sports. It's just they make me laugh. So Jay Leno talking about football, he'd come into the game and everyone's in there with their beer and watching the game and screaming and he would always say, yeah, who's the head?

The red or the yellow? It's kind of it. You just thought it was just colors. And then Jerry Seinfeld said, the players move around so much, eventually you're just rooting for clothes. Yeah, laundry. Yeah, the nine. Yeah, like because they switch teams.

I would say that I have another analogy not to go into this whole Taylor Swift algo because I do like Taylor Swift. You mean Tay Tay? Tay Tay and Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel whispering the whole time. And that would bother them. But Taylor Swift fans are probably nicer. But when you go to a guy's game football, you forget that 90% of them are degenerate gamblers. So and that doesn't just mean which a common man would think or woman, oh, there we have to be quiet because they're betting on the winner of the game.

Oh, no, they bet on every goddamn play. Is it going to be a sweep? Is it going to be a button hook? Is it going to be a sweep? Is it going to be a button hook? Is it going to be a sucker trap? And you bet every play, everything, who's going to hold the football? Who's going to kick it to? How many catches they get? So you have to be so riveted to that game. You can't be distracted. And that's why I think people get a little itchy about the Taylor talk. But other than that, I welcome it. I, you know what it's-

See how I came back around and I'm like, she's great. She is great. We met her at the SNL 40th. She was super sweet. Very pretty. Oh, how does it feel to be backpedal? I'm not really backpedaling. I've always said, she did.

She was in buh-bye. She had one line and she came over and was nice. She's great and I don't have any problem with her. There's so many things going on in the world. The idea of just fucking Taylor Swift, man, drives me nuts. I mean, she's like, what about Iran? And you're like, who cares? This Taylor thing drives me. I mean, come on, lighten up. I mean, let's unpack this. Where's this outrage coming from? I'm jumping over to the Golden Bachelor. I have one thing to say about it, since it's already been over for a while. Okay, I'll take five minutes off. No, it's only one thing. I watch the History Channel, okay? I like to be educated. No, and I didn't even see it.

I only watched 11 episodes of it, but... You've hosted it, so relax. You got Craig, go ahead. I say the Golden Bachelor, and Evan was really pulling for this guy. This is the last week I can do this joke, because now it's only seven weeks late, but it's the Golden Bachelor.

And he's like, however old, which isn't that old in real life, and he looks better than me, and he's about 80. So he's out there, and he's big 80. So he's out there and his big, he does look good. And his big sob story is my wife passed away, sad, I'll give him that. And then he said, I haven't dated since and I wanted to kind of come back into the scene

and plow 30 chicks. So it was like, oh great, this is such a cute story. So he comes back and he's gonna ramrod his way through all these poor women who, I didn't even make fun of that because everyone at that age, like just trying to find a nice person, it's hard to crap on them. They're not 22 and desperate.

They're just like nice people. They're not carnal in the same way they were in their 20s. Yeah, not like you. Anyway, so. What? So the word got out. So the word got out, they go, oh, he's such a great guy. And then right toward the end, they go, hey,

some woman came out and said, oh, after his wife died, I dated him for nine months. And they asked him, and he's like, oh, yeah, that's geezer. Like, he doesn't even give a shit. He's like, oh, oh, yeah. No, but that was nothing. That was just like a hit and quitted situation, Dine and Dash, and they're like, oh.

So you're just a regular guy, got it. You're not quite the angel. Well, the weight of it, David. Let me unpack this. You're saying television presented something that wasn't quite real. Are you gonna go on record with it? I am because.

Are you gonna commit to sometimes reality shows? I'm easily tricked. Exactly, because I watch these shows and I want it to be real. I want them to find romance. Well, because you're a good person. You would never trick people like that. And the monsters are the best.

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an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to any operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Bet MGM operates pursuant to any operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. All right, here's a quick one, because everyone does Trump. Here's my angle on Trump. He's out in the stump, and he starts listing the people he's going to go after. You know, it's really funny to me. We're going to go after the communists, the Marxists, the neo-Mexists, the socialists, the fall of fake news media, the deep state and the state behind the communists, the Marxists, the neo-Marxists, the socialists, the far-left fake news media, the deep state and the state behind the deep state, the deepest state of all we call it the deep six. You imagine that? We call it the deep six. We're going to take out the vagabonds,

the pirates and the witches, the terminites and the solemites, the amish have got to go. I'm telling yet they got to go and we're taking out Poland. I never liked it. It's a creepy place We're taking out deep purple the band I can listen to Trump forever, it's so fucking funny to hear you just talk about Trump We're doing things. She always goes in the pillow and this he reads the teleprompter goes Can you imagine that you imagine that you've heard of that, right? They're gonna build a wall We're gonna build a second wall. You can do a second wall. I didn't know it, but they can do it. And the breathing.

Oh, let's go to a video bit. Ready? Because there's really no rules here. I'm just gonna show you. First of all, the setup is I was such a premiere whore. Back during SNL, you didn't do this as much, but I was so juiced with fame that I was like, I got a little smidge of fame

and I was like, oh God, I'm getting invited at Premier's. Hey, do you wanna see Mission Impossible at Tom Cruise? A week ahead, bring your friend or bring someone from the cast. Cool. Super fun. But I went to way too many because there's Instagrams where they go, hey, remember this Premier and here's everyone that was there. And it always, I'm fucking in there.

And I only remember. And I have some rope belt. I look like shit every time. So let's go down memory lane. I pulled a few of these and let's pull up. Just random ones and I'll tell you what I was thinking. They're not all bad. It's just, okay, this one is fucking great.

I don't even know if we should start with, it's just okay this one is fucking great I don't even know if we should start with so good okay that this one is for I have a key here this is speed you look great this is speed with Keanu that might be behind me either after that no thank Judd Nelson maybe is that a summer it doesn't matter to me when I have a look I lock it in

and it could be you've got the game any weather When I have a look, I lock it in and it could be any weather. So I've got cargo shorts. I've got one blue sock, which is actually pretty cool. Was that intentional? Like a Michael Jackson thing? Yeah. Dana, it's called The Future. And I was the Kanye of that premiere and I have work boots, were cool. I had those for, my coat doesn't fit.

That would maybe work now, did not work then. I thought it fit. I think it's totally it. And it has a, it has a corduroy color. Thought it fit, didn't fit. The glasses I fucking hate against it. I have my speed premiere ticket in my hand but you can't really see it.

And I'm holding a hat. All stupid. All right, next one. Well, wait a minute. You're wearing the sunglasses indoor? No, it was the lights, Day. And I'm getting, I'm like, I can't take it. No, I was thinking, very cool.

I wouldn't have the guts to do that at that age. Okay, which one's it? This is Farls. This is... Same sunglasses. Maybe. I think so. Look at, we both went to the tinted sunglass store.

I guess tinted was in, I don't know. Farley always looked pretty cool. This is True Lies. And I'm doing ducklips and I'm not even joking. I did him forever. I don't even think they were around. I don't- It's a little bit of a jacker. No one was sick of him yet. I don't know why I did him forever. I don't even think they were around. It's a little bit of a jacker.

No one was sick of him yet. I don't know why I did it. I think it was just nervousness. That was a leather jacket. I thought it was so badass. And it was, nothing fit me, not one thing fit me. Everything was big and I didn't know it. I thought they were all fitting.

You couldn't see it? I couldn't see it. And look at him giving peace sign like straight ahead and kind of grossly. Farrell's like, you know what he used to do? You guys got to back off the mic. They're too good.

They're too good a laverse. They don't even need a joke. They just show these two idiots. But Dana, here's a Farley. Do you remember this at Premier's? They take his picture and he goes, not now. Ah! And then he'des they take his picture and he goes not now And then he'd say take my picture so dumb

So I show another one. Yeah, that was I Can't believe there's no day in any of these because you didn't you were like I didn't oh, this is a great one shot I love this. This is now. Yeah Now you I'm just I look cool. Well, he's Well, he's kind of like doing a Those glasses and the hair slick that's when he got cool There was a point when he combed it back because Christian Slater did when he hosted it so farals next week And I go you're so gross. That's cuz he goes Christian Slater did it

And I go yeah, so he was always That's because he goes, Chris the Slater did it. And I go, yeah. So he was always greasing it back. And look behind is Jay Moore. Wow. But wait a minute. This is after Tommy Boy. So you are a star at this point. This is 95.

Tommy Boy came out in 95. So it's around the same time. Because to have the guts to wear that hat would go earnly and just was, you have to be a star. That hat is, I still have it so fucking cool and the strings are hanging off. And I have a turtleneck. Ooh.

Turtlenecks were illegal for a couple years. Hat fits well. I'm just gonna say the clothes seem to work fine. I mean, you got a couple shillings in your pockets. Spain's starting to put the whole motif together of the junior superstar. Yeah, when we were to the premiere of Tommy Boyan London, we thought we were famous.

It was so sickening. He's like, dude, what if everybody knows us? We get hounded. I'm like, well, it's not exactly beat-almanian. No one even knows who we are at all. And they don't even get the show over there. So we go over on the Concorde, no less. I did it. And it's like this.

Eugh! Land. So it took 90 minutes. We get there. He brings a fucking shalely because he stopped by Ireland. He goes, it's lucky. So we bring this shalely because he stopped by Ireland. He goes, it's lucky. So we bring the shalely out. We go out with hats and sunglasses.

No one knows who we are. It's so embarrassing. Shalely? Shalely? Shalely is like an Irish stick. Oh. Yeah. For good luck.

And then no one knew. So we took off the hat and sunglasses. Then we went to plan a Hollywood so someone would know us. Sickening. We went to get noticed and no one knew, so we took off the hat and sunglasses, then we went to plan a Hollywood so someone would know us, sickening. We went to get noticed and no one did. And we're like, what the fuck? All right, next picture.

I just want to have one question. While you were in that hat, did you ever do Wesky Wabbit or do any of the other stuff? I want to get a Wesky Wabbit. I mean, did you use that at all? I don't think so because I thought it was cool and so I didn't even want to joke about it. You really? Okay, here it. Now we're getting into makeover time. Oh, this is 1999. It's Big Daddy.

Yeah, yeah. You're, yeah. This is Big Daddy. The TV show, what was it called? Big Daddy. Oh, I was on Just Shoot Me. Yeah, I was on Just Shoot Me. I was doing good. It was up on the same night as like Frazier and Seinfeld. So we were in the mix. Yeah. Coat fits a little better, still does not fit. Like, it's not crazy. It doesn't fit.

Well, I think the sleeves, well no, the sleeves of the shirt go underneath. That shirt was a guest shirt. Can we ask Chris or Heather, do you guys think our our hidden team of laughs? What do you think of that outfit? He looks a little more styled in this one? Much more styled the hair is longer Obviously your teeth you got your teeth done quote-unquote they look great. I wish they were doing that

They look good there, and I don't know what happened since and look at I've got so those are a bit of mom jeans in a way, but my shoes are cool. My shoes, because I got a bad neck, they would always kill me. I could only wear them to the premiere and then I'd have to go back to Skechers or whatever that was back then. Well, mom jeans would be higher wasted than that, wouldn't they? Yeah, a little bit, but these weren't... A little higher?

Yeah. Yeah, that's a point. But okay, at least I'm getting somewhere. Okay, next one. These are all like flashcards. I don't know what's next. Because I'm in. You don't even know it's going. Oh, okay. Okay. Now we're David 2.0. What am I trying to do? This is a brand new guy. This is. Jesus. Someone's been watching too many Kurt Cobain videos in this one. I have a fog hat shirt on Mm-hmm That was punch drunk love That's Julie Bowen She looks great. She was great. Oh

Right. She was sort of you dated for a while. Is that that call it you dated and you know what I'm learned from wearing guy liner is Is that they call it you dated and you know what I'm learned from wearing guy liner is It does make sure eyes look too skinny like I can't even see I Don't know why I have it on a Corey Felt. I mean, I don't know what I said I Faded a cord done. I thought those were cool Right, but do you have eyeliner? Yeah? Mean like a mascara? I say it with no embarrassment.

Yep. Do you have lipstick on? Are you wearing a bra? I just have rouge, lipstick, a bra, a training bra, and a fucking thong. And a G string. Yes. Well, it's good that we get to know what's behind color stores. Now, how old are you there?

I don't know how to close that. 11. Now, by the way, poor Julie. She went there with me and I sure she took one look and was like, we're not doing the fucking press line, are we? I'm like, oh yeah. Oh yes, we are. Okay, keep going.

I think there's just a couple more. We can get rid of some of these if they're following. These are fun. They're kind of funny. Just talk about, oh, who's this fucking grizzled mount man? That is still Kirk Cobain, right? Wouldn't he wear those? I mean, he'd be spinning in his grave if he's...

By the way, is this the first time the scruff showed up? Oh yeah, I got a little scruffy and I had a... I never wear a beanie, gives me a headache. I actually don't had a, I never wear a beanie. Gives me a headache. I actually don't like them. But I wore a beanie because it was tough hair day. Zipped up leather jacket, a flannel shirt. I used to love that flannel shirt. Of course my jeans are not tucked in. Trashed and they're not trashed from doing too much hiking and lifting boulders. It's like I bought them for $9,000 and they were already all distressed.

Would you have possibly had a 38 revolver in your lower back? Does that guy carry a gun or a knife? No, he carries a buck knife and he stabs you and then he fucking puts you in a armhole. Because it looks like kind of a tough guy ready to fight. I was kind of like mad that are taking a picture, but I go into the press line and then I'm like, what the fuck do you guys want? And they're like, well, you're in a step and repeat.

So I think you know. You know what that guy is saying to everybody? What are you looking at? What? What are you looking at? That's what you're saying right there. What the fuck are you looking at? I'm like Rambo. All right, we'll get off this. That's Alpha. That's Alpha right there.

Okay, that's that. We're halfway through the photos. And now we have a current date. Spades of Premier Horror. This episode is brought to you by Interac. Interac has a range of tools to help your business grow. Quickly and easily identify customers with Interac Verified. Pay your employees via bulk disbursement with Interac e-Transfer for Business. Or pay vendors with large sum payments up to $25,000. Plus your payments are safe with authentication

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Love that chicken from Popeyes. I will tell you what I did recently and then I'll let you go Dana, but I'm not letting you go anyway. I have nowhere to go. Remember when you heard that I gave this burger king guy some money, do you remember the story? Yes.

So my new- You started a whole thing. My new thoughts on it. So the thing is burger king guy worked there 27 years. I saw him on fucking TikTok. And so I said, he was opening a present. He goes, I worked here 27 years, never missed a day. I was like, holy shit.

He goes, and they gave me a gift from Burger King. And it was like a yo-yo and a Pokemon card and like $10 a Starbucks. So I go, that's it. And he was so happy that he got that. And he goes, I'll see you guys tomorrow, back at work. And he was like, is he being sarcastic? And he wasn't.

So that his daughter made a go fund me, say, get this guy a vacation. He's busting his fucking ass. So he needed like, it was like 15 grand. So it was close, something like that. Oh, yeah So I put up five grand got him over the hump to 15 whatever so They tell TMZ wait a minute says over underwhelming five grand wait, oh

His yeah, God. Thank you Jesus. Okay. I was thinking that's that's that's, yeah, that was back then. Okay. So I, I gave him some money. So he gets to his 15 and then his daughter tells TMZ's and then he does a story about him. And then the next week he's up to like 40 grand. I'm like, holy shit. And then he goes on the Today Show. And they're like, so David Spade helped, then he's DMing me and I'm like, Hey, you did a great job. He's like, is that really you that gave it to me? I go, yeah, man, nobody works hard anymore. So blah, blah. Then he keeps going.

Then he comes to my show in Vegas and then it's been a year, Dana, and they go, Burger King guy just bought a house with his 450,000 he's up to. And then I hit him up and I go, I think after 300K, we split it, guy. I mean, what are the rules? I mean, I feel like the house has to win a little bit. So how do I approach this? This is probably awkward and I shouldn't even say this, but you seem to have the Midas touch and I'm just going to say this as a soft ask. Could you start a Kickstarter for me?

For you, Just saying. You do. If it's going to go into seven figures, I could just ask. It's going to quadrillion Zupal. Yeah. You may have the mightest touch. You know the thing is, you do need to name this Kickstarter. No, it's great guy syndrome.

And I have it. And I have a really bad case of it. And so, well, I've never heard this story before, but I'm glad to hear it now. Isn't it good you know that you're working with a good guy? So here we go. really bad case of it. And so, well, I've never heard this story before, but I'm glad to hear now. Isn't it good, you know that you're working with a good guy, so here we go. He gets to 50 grand, then they go,

get him to 100 grand, they raise it, because it's still pouring in. Get him to 100 and get this guy like an electric bike, you know, poor fucking guy. So they get to that, and then she's like, let's put it to 200,000. So they just keep raising it, and the last I saw, they wanna get it to a million.

Oh, it's at 457. He wants a million so he can get four tickets to Taylor Swift. I like the paid fucking laughers. Give me a micro-chordle on that. That's the closer. My charitable work stays. I didn't get picked up anywhere for my charitable work.

It'll be quiet. You know what you got a higher price I just stumbled in that because nobody knows what what I do I like when they say look at George Clooney gave this bum a hundred dollars and I go well if there's seven pop ROTC guys walking by me like Here you go. Can you get the hundred? Can you get me and the hundred in the shot? Can you get the guy's hand and me and the bum? Of course, there's a camera there not saying he's hand and me and the bum? Okay. Of course. There's a camera there.

Not saying he's not a good guy, but there's a camera there. I'm giving a guy. I'm like, here's my coat. Get it? Did you get it? Come back a little later. Can I get that coat back? It was kind of a bit I was doing.

I remember, yeah, Paul McCartney, when I first met him, he said, you know, I could go all over the world. All I have to do is go down to Fifth Avenue and drop me trousers. Oh, what does that mean? He'd go all over the world and unpress. I go all over the world. So if you want a trend, if you want to start a trend, yeah, then we can figure that out for you.

Okay, I got one more thing to ask you. Okay. I keep saying one more. I was out of stuff 45 minutes ago. Are you out of stuff? Okay, my last thing that I'll say, I just saw. Oh no, I have stuff I can do. Yeah.

Well, first of all, Go ahead. I wanted to hear a red red neckie. Do you have any loaded? Well, I can do a few red red neckies. I was thinking because people, I did this on a podcast I used to do with Chris Reels. Fantastic. But I haven't done it on this podcast much, have I?

Well, this one's new, but the other one, fly on the wall, you've done it once twice, but it's a hit and people say it's... Oh, on this one. I'm red red neckies, a redneck comedian. You ever fart so loud, to stay away go would that Come again, so that was the beginning. Where's coming get some come on. Oh fuck You ever fart so loud dog to stay away go what that come a gay song? Yeah, I got my own catchphrase I know I did ever

Go ahead. This just to get on the rhythm cuz what I want to do I'm gonna do three of them and then I'm This is just to get on the rhythm. Cause what I want to do, I'm going to do three of them. And then I'm going to ask people to send in red, red, necky jokes. And then I will read their red, red, necky joke. And I'll do one that I was sent in to Chris and I. You ever crap so big, you don't know, go and get down that turlet, go and get some.

So that's laying the groundwork. Sort of the level we're working at. You ever crap so big, you don't know if it's going to get down the turlet. Sort of the level we're working at. You ever craft so big, you don't know if it's gonna get down the turlet. Get down that turlet. Go ahead. Come and get some. Come and get some.

For people just hearing this for the first time, it's intentionally supposedly the worst comedian in the world. That is kind of the idea. But he's got a catchphrase and he's super famous. Well, things bad happen or things that don't seem so great. And then come and get some is the ultimate defines. Come again, some this is one that someone said in and I didn't.

I did a rewrite on it, but I asked my mama to worse my daddy, why does he said, sure thing? I said, how'd it go? She said, great. I haven't seen skid mods like that since the Daytona 500. Come again, some. That's the longest one we got. That that's a pretty good one I Asked my mama what's for dinner for dinner. She said roadkill. I said what kind she said I got to take a drive come again

Okay, I think There's safety in knowing you're eventually gonna say come and get some Right the two the most off-putting ones are the fart in the poo one, but the rest are just basic Basic kind of stuff. You see if you get this one My grandpappy invented the phrase dollars to donuts every time he got a dollar. He bought a donut He died at 27 come on get some He got a dollar, he bought a donut. He died at 27, come and get some. Hard to say, I don't know what.

Guess what guys, people can write in, superflyataudici.com if they want you to do more impressions or more from come and get some. Oh. Okay, superflyataudici.com. Yes. Is that our email? Yes.

And send it in to Rednecky. And also I'm going to do a runner of Johnny Carson getting pulled over for drunk driving and you can send in jokes for that. Oh, sorry officer. Sorry officer. I didn't know I was swerving. I had a tangerine torpedo at the cranky pigeon. Sorry officer. I didn't know I was swerving. I had a dirty double banana dancery at the boozy glow. The boozy glow? Yeah. I like when they rhyme.

The fucking purple nirpal. It's the drinks. Here's one. Well, the original ones, I'm sorry officer, I didn't know I was swerving. I had two slippery monkeys at the hook and crook. Yeah, I like that. I like when they rhyme. And here's one that's double.

Sorry officer, I didn't know I was swerving. I had five whiskey sours at the whiskey sour hut. That's a different way to go with it. It's a little different. But if anyone wants to send some in. I got one. Sorry officer. Okay, great.

I had a banana daiquiri at the stinky pinky. That's sort of like it, right? That's almost like red, red, neck. I know. I can't do it to you. You're too good. I'm back to Super Bowl, but not Taylor Swift. Uh-uh. That's what you think. Uh-uh. There's also a football game. So here's what I'm saying is I saw a few Super Bowl commercials today,

which is very odd. The new thing, they show them to you this far ahead. Oh yeah. Yeah. More than a week out. And so they have one and they go, they have all the stars. You know the stars were the The cast of Suits. Folks, I'm sorry. Now, this is when Meghan Markle was on. Meghan Markle in the hunt. And so she went away and now Suits, it wasn't a big show, but now it is. And so it's on Netflix. It's doing well. Are you really doing a Suits parody? Let me tell you something. When Prince Harry came over here, he said, I got myself a, he wanted to have a celebrity,

a superstar girlfriend. So everyone over there somehow believed that Suits was some fucking hit show with Julie Roberts on it. But I'm like, isn't that on TBS? I mean, is it really? She wasn't even the most famous person on suits. OK, so and no one even knows what suits is. So when they were throwing around the word superstar, a little loosely, that's what I was saying.

Now she's a superstar now, but even she will admit now when you're on a show that's on like, you know, after reruns of Barney Miller, too far back, too far back. Well, that's he called Prince and now King Charles after he met Meghan Markle. His dad, they have met the most wonderful woman in the world. She's a superstar in America, an actress. Would you say?

What's the... Is that the older one? That's the... King Charles. Charles. What do you say? What do you say? Sorry, I just coughed up a damnation.

Anyway, what's her name? Daddy her name's Megan Marples. She's the biggest star of the world. Goodbye, Daddy. I love you all. Never leave the Royal Family. Very good. And if you don't mind, we have to cough up a half a cow. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr do him like this and I do Megan when he first met Megan she's like hello what's your name my name's Prince Harry and I'm from the Royal Family yes I'm Megan Markle from a show called the suits did you ever seen it Harry that's how they talk no he's not like Bill Cosby when you did Prince Charles oh Bill Cosby he's the one that cuts the Bill Cosby I like the stiffness. I'll get looser with this show.

I need a better chair. No I like that you're, you actually, no one even mentions your full bed behind it. This is the video. We do have a studio coming, guys. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carby and David Spade. Charlie Finein of Brilst Entertainment,

Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holzman. Hope you liked it.