Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Sydney Sweeney Likes Sports + AI has Broken Loose

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

The guys discuss David’s great legs, a Jersey Mike’s controversy, Sydney Sweeney’s mega-viral gambling ad, and all the noise around the dangers of AI.

I'm on fumes guy, riding on fumes. What? My hat on to spare everyone. You're doing a movie, 14 hours a day, and now you're saying you're tired? I mean, come on. I'm not like super tie-tie. For real, for being the beating versus my normal everyday cakewalk life. Were you harnessed in the last two days?

I was harnessed Friday night. Friday night at 11 and Monday morning. at 8 a.m. Harness to run. Mm-hmm. And I ran like the wind. A lot of people got to see my carry underwood legs. Yeah, what's going on with those pins? I mean, people, it's kind of a meme online.

I don't know. I mean, that's a lot of people are discussing it in a lot of the chat rooms. But basically, great legs, other people's words, not mine. Well, I mean, is it at, let's ask Heather, is it attractive? for a grown man to have carry underwood legs. Is that a flattering comment? I mean, I'm sure they're... She's making faces.

She's like this. No, because we both have strong legs, and we both get a lot of comments about them. I don't wear shorts on purpose because I don't want to drive everyone crazy. Right. You did Mango on Saturday Night Live. That's the only time I really saw your legs.

Oh, that's when I played Kiwi on Mango. Yeah, that was... You were like a kindred spirit. And you had... Posting and I played Kiwi. And you had short shorts on. That's all so... Who's got short shorts?

Everybody's got... Burp-Barp. Nair for a short... Okay. I will tell you this week... Oh, I never told you at the birthday day for Sandman... For Mr. No. 1 on the call sheet. When I was coming into a scene, I had to enter.

So I'm back by Video Village and then I just walk in. And while I'm back to... there, I see Drew Barrowmore back there. And so we're all huddling to say, Happy birthday? She wants to say, happy birthday. So we said, okay, on my next, I go, you want to just go in for my entrance? And then the director goes, no, that last one wasn't that good.

You do it again. And then we'll do her. I thought we'd done it and got it right. So I do it again, come back. That's true. That's me, dude. I know. He's tough.

No, he's a great guy, Kyle. And then we send Drew out and it takes people a second. But then, because it was a lot of the full cast, that was more fun, you know. So everyone's like, oh, Drew, who's always a breath of fresh air and sweet. And so then what happened? That was it. And then I think she wanted to see Adam. And then she always says nice things like elevators have feelings.

And then we, was that last? Was it? Is someone playing on? Yes. Someone playing a bongo in there? Is there construction going on? What did she say when she walked out? David.

What? Oh, she said. Does anyone need a wedding singer? Oh, she walked in. It was a scene where everyone's were all hanging out at a wedding. And she goes, does anyone need a wedding singer? And that was the little callback. When I saw her at the.

He skimmed over it. He didn't care of. It was a callback. Yeah. Let's call back. Yeah, I get the call back. I'd never met anyone quite as humble. We had on our podcast when I saw her at when Sandler was getting the Mark Twain Award.

I go, you're, you know, your talk show, you're really good at. And she just went, really? You think so? And it was very real. I know. She's very sweet. Did we see her before that or after that? I think the talk show hadn't gone on as long or has been as big or she was about to do it or something.

Hey, look that up, gang. How long has that show been on? Well, was she on our podcast before we all hung out at that thing? I believe so. I don't think I've done Drew's show. I wanted to ask her if we made out once. That was my big. I thought we did, and I don't know if we did.

I didn't ask her, did I? I think I asked her I ran into her chateau. You have that little book, right, of people you've made out with it? It was on the, I peeped. I swear, I think so. It was no big deal, but... I don't tell tales, but Angelina Jolie, and I'm not going to say who I saw in there,

but... Oh, in the book, you know, was not her. Ivanka Trump. I don't... I like her. Well, by the way, Salmita, I told you Chris Rock's movie, did go to Toronto, and as predicted,

well-received. Right. Misty Green, I think it's going to be up for awards, and it's just a whole new movie for him. So it's great. That's cool because he talked about it on this podcast when we did the live one. Yeah, we have to have him again because. When he gets the Oscar, if he gets the Oscar, we have to have him on.

I'm not shitting you and I think that the lead girl will be up for an Oscar, I think. And he's doing a drama. It's kind of a little comedy in it obviously, but. You've seen the movie? Is this what I'm understanding? Yeah. Huh. That's why I'm.

Was it at a screening? It was just like he'd mention. a few times and he goes if anybody wants to see it why don't you guys I'll just show it so we went over to the like something in New York yeah and one night afterwards yeah Maria came and and Bailey yeah it was fun super fun and the woman is not very well known who's playing right character also how about this she's English I did not know that are you kidding me hello what you know what I've noticed that Americans are okay with accent but the Australians and the Brits are perfect.

They know American better than us. Yeah, because they watched all of our shows. And I watched Monty Python, and that was about it. And, you know, spinal tap. I saw some remnants of the Emmys, which I didn't really see. And they're on Mondays now. And I'm not really in that world. But I have to say, I think the two lead winners, male and female, were English.

Yes. It's a hostile takeover of Emmys. Well, you know, as you know, there's a bit of a recession in America's film and television production. So, and, you know, I got a piece of a couple of studios in London. So. Oh, yeah, you do. They do very well over there. They do quite well.

I do quite well. We'll pay them so many pounds. Quids. Quids and shillings. You do your boys. Suppens and me tuppence. Oh, I got me, cup. Can you give a shes, shilling?

Give me some quids and pounds. It looks like a pin, but it's actually a cop. That's you in the audition. This is a cup. I'm not a good auditioner. This was me auditioning for... Oliver Twist. No, no, something.

For the Odyssey with Christopher Nolan. Oh, I don't know much about islands. They go, well... I'm just the old man in the town. I'm the lizard man. They come on to the eye. You haven't seen it, so you don't know what it's talking about it. You'll never see Odyssey.

Hell no. I don't give a care. Strong word. You don't give a carrot? You mean like how we feed our horses? I don't give a care. When I was a kid, this guy goes, I'll bet you $5 you won't do this thing. Like kick the soccer ball into the street.

And I did. And he goes, oh, I'll go get your doll hairs. I go, you fucking scat. at me. Instead of, he goes, I said doll hairs, not doll hairs. Oh, doll hairs instead of dollars. Yeah, that was a big trick. How old was this kid?

He was 41. Well, you know, set back a few years and said, you should have said to him, I'll make you a knuckle sandwich and go, that's just ham, infestrami. Oh, yeah. We call it, infectionally, the knuckle sandwich. I say you want a Hertz donut? Then I punch him, I go, Hertz, donut. Mm-hmm. Don't it.

My brother used to pull Hertz donuts on me all the time. This is my childhood with three older brothers, two years apart. Cut it out. Stop. Stop. Cut it out. Mom. Here's my favorite word as a kid.

Mom. No, I would be like that. You stop fighting. Come on. I'm going to make oatmeal. My mom had a very sweet boy. Yeah. Everything's great.

No, we all got. along pretty well. I mean, I took a few poundings, but mostly we had a lot of fun. Yeah, obviously in the phase. Okay, so. What a shot? I fix my lighting. Oh, I got a big story for you. Is it about me? So, A, I'm going to Italy, end of the week. I know.

Italy, and I'm like, my wish list, and these are my deal breakers, they better have a Jersey mics, they better have a Chili's, and they better have Diet Coke, and I'm worried about all three. Well, we have chat GBT or whatever. Could someone look that up? No, I don't want to know. Heather already knows. Heather already broke the Diet Coke news to me, but I've been getting that broken to me

in every effing goddamn fucking restaurant and a hotel. They've got McDonald's. Everyone's obsessed with America. Don't you get it? They better have something worthwhile to be over there. I think that what you should do, I'm just thinking either give Heather a little camera or somebody. Have somebody follow you around.

Show me. And just do, it's like the Stanley Tucci show, but I'm just looking for shitty places. David and Italy, you know, and just collect it, edit it, sell it to Netflix. I'll take 5% just for the idea. That's fine. Yeah, you trying to find actual American food. Are you trying to be happy for five seconds in Italy? Oh, you're going to love Italy.

Italy. Very beautiful. I know one person's going to be in Italy and I go, hey, maybe we can meet up at the mall or something. It'll be like it is. Hello, David Spade. My name is Lolita. You like the way I look, huh? You like or you like.

Let's hold hands and get a scorns. Yeah. And then I go, chat, GPT, translate me to Italian. And it says, David says, do your balls have lots of pubes? And I'm like, come on, wait, hang on. This is all wrong. Well, I like the idea. You have to look around like it's a walkie-talkie secret chat, GBT.

Hey. Google Translate. What's the average? Here's the other problem. No, here's the big story out of Hoboken. Oh, okay. Finally, have our audiences left. Dana.

The big controversy is if I walk up to Jersey mics to have lunch on my off date. Right. I they have a perfectly fine assortment of chips right jersey mics yeah they don't have bakelays now they do in l.A they don't hear fine no bakelays so you got to get all that oil and cholesterol clogging yeah right and so I go there and I look at it and I'm like they have halapeno poppers they have cheese doodle they have just like so many types of chips that nobody wants that I go is anyone just want to help like a decent just a little piece of piece of cardboard baked legs they don't have any taste to them no it's chilly ice cream flavor yeah crunch and it's all way too much i'm like i don't need peanut butter and jelly doritos so anyway i go in and i want these baked dog shit lays that are just basically noise i just want a crunch when i eat well a little bit of salt and a little bit of crunch yeah yeah

yeah yeah and even they're not too much they're a little tight with the salt if we're going to be honest. They're watching up for your health. Yeah. Go ahead. So on the way, one day we realize directly across sitting in the little window is subway sandwiches. So if I'm eating at Jersey Mike's 50 feet away in this little dinky cobblestone street,

I'm like, is there a subway right directly across the street? They must be furious at each other. You know, like, it's fucking sandwich wars. So I said, well, Heather, go in there on a recon mission. and see if they have bake lays. I love Heather's job. She's like having to sneak around and spy on sandwich shops. Okay, shh.

I say act like a customer. Does she wear a funny hat or a big disguise? She walked in like an old lady. She goes, oh, I'm lost. How you sell sandwiches? So then she comes out and she goes like this. And then she looks across street and she goes, we got them. We got them.

So we got eyes on bake lays. So now this is all lining. up for the next time I go. So I go, I'll just sneak into Subway, get the bake lays. And simple, right? But then go get the sandwich at Mr. Mike's. Jersey Mikes, yeah. So here I do. I go at I'm by myself. Boom, bum, bum, bum, boom. This is like a mission impossible. They should have filmed this. This should be like a little animated show because I go in full of guilt. And full of beans. Because I walk into subway, I have no intention of buying a sandwich.

And I'm looking around. It's like, it's like early. It's like 10.30. So you're buying chips. And the guy goes, I go, hey, a lot of chips. You know, just, this is small talk to kind of lay their foundation. And then he goes, oh, yeah. So I go, you know what?

I'm just going to get some bake lays. And then he goes, oh, you don't want to sandwich? No, he goes, no, you don't want a sandwich? No, he goes, you don't want a sandwich. No, he was. Hey, what do you mean? You don't want a sandwich? get out of here. No, he's hoboken, but he's from somewhere far.

Orboken? What? He's not from bro-boken, I can tell. All right, so, so you're in a pickle because you don't want to hurt this guy's feelings. I'm buying the baked legs here, which is legal, then going to there buy a sandwich. So you shouldn't be legal, you're scared. You're scared. Right now you're scared. I'm asking, and he can tell like, I'm sweating a little bit. So he goes, oh, you don't want a sandwich, huh? And I go, nah, it's a little early. Lie one. I'm going to buy one in five seconds. Well, what would have happened, I have to insert this just for the audience. If you said, I like your baked plays, but I'm going to get a sandwich over there.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was never crossed my mind. Was that throw down? Is that fisticuffs? Get out. Get out right here. You know, I've had therapy. I can give you the number after we, after the podcast.

Okay, because this is a problem. You've got to stand up for David's baby. Go ahead. No, I like to be meek and fragile. I don't see you that way. So I go, cool, cool, cool. And then I go, how much we talk in here for the bake lays? And he goes, two bucks.

I go, here's five. Pure bribery slash guilt. Here's five. Does he know your David Spade at this point? I don't think so. Oh. He just goes, all right. Hey, I go, hey, big day, you know, whatever, whatever.

pleasant trees, then I leave. Boop, boop, boop, beep, beep, beep. Walk directly across the street, but I curve it. I banana it a little bit. Heather hits me on the Voxer right before I walk in, which is a chirp, chirp noise on my phone. So I stop leaning. I open the chips because I'm already starving.

I lean against a pole. I'm listening. And out of my corner, I see Mr. fucking subway sandwiches, opens the door. kicks the little kickstand out, lights a seg, and he's just staring at me. I'm like this, what the fuck are you doing out here, dude? Why? And why are you out of?

Well, at this point, you're in danger. I mean, I'm in danger. I don't know where this is going, but I'm treating that you are in danger right now. So let's see how you're here. So we know you did something to survive it. By the luck of the draw, I'm not in Jersey Mikes yet. I'm on the pole in front of it. You're near it.

And he's suspicious. I'm just like, I give him one of these, like, hey, you know. Give him one of those. Like way too much. I'm on the phone. Like, so much guilt. There's no reason I should say anything, but I'm just on the phones. Well, I'm weirdly on his side.

I know. I think I am too. I can't open it. I mean, you buy the chips, you buy the sandwich, but okay, so what happens? Even though you got three bucks, which means nothing to him because it's all about the principal. Well, that's a pretty stout tip on a base. Bigger chips. Yeah.

Here's three. He's forgotten about that. No, no, no. He's planning what he's going to do to you. Yeah. And then he's just staring. And all I can see in his eyes, he's like, I go, I'm just standing by a pole in my head. And he's like, it's just interesting that you're over there.

There's nothing wrong with it. It's just interesting to me. Why are you standing next to Jersey mics? I'm like, I know. That's funny. I didn't even see it. How far are you apart from him when you're having this conversation? 50 feet.

We're not talking. This is just me. Oh, you're not talking. This is your inner monologue. Okay. He's looking at me like, interesting. Right. Nothing bad.

It's interesting that you're over there right next to Jersey Mike's door. And then he finally kicks the kickstand and goes in. And I go. And I finally go in. I go right in. I get my sandwich. I'm clicking my heels. All is good in the world.

I go to the little window to eat, got my chif, And there he is with the no killers. He's fucking out there again. By the way, Dana, you need another cigarette? Do you really need another cigarette? It's been four minutes. Or are you spying on me? And then he looks.

He's just staring at me like this. Smoke rings. Deach, deeach, deuce. You can't use douche for that. That means spraying something. Dush, doosh, douche. Yeah. A deeathe, deeat.

He's like, things of taking a more interesting turn. I'm in Jersey mics and I'm staring it out the window in plain sight stupidly. So he knows that you bought Bakelays there over tip because you had a plan to go into Jersey mics. The whole time it's all hitting him. And buy a freaking sandwich basically shitting on the subway franchise. Yep. It was like Ocean's 11. I'm still on this guy's side.

That it's like, oh, I got fucking scam. You should have did what I did. When I did the recon, I crossed the street the other way. Oh, oh, oh. She threw him off the scent. She walked down the street farther after she recon. And then she looped back. So he didn't think about her.

But he knew I was fucking drenched in sweat. He knew I was something was wrong. There's danger. There was danger in what was on. Danger and my eyes. There's fear. I want to ask one. I'm sure there's more nuance to it.

I'm curious. Yeah. What is the difference between a subway sandwich and a Jersey mics? Oh, that I don't know. And by the way, by the way, you are in New Jersey. You're in New Jersey, right? And I kept saying, I hope there's a Jersey mics here. And they're like, well.

It's a fuck, get all my Jersey mics. Yeah. I didn't even put it together. There is a town, I think it's in Minnesota, called Subway Town, and that, everyone goes to Subway there. Yeah. But everyone in Jersey,

hey, where you go get your pastrami sandwich? Juicy Mike's. By the way, subdate was a fucking ghost town. It was Crickets. Well, sometimes... It was early. Sometimes the turkey has a rubbery texture to it. Well, what's funnier than the guy

that drops the fucking sliced up rubbery turkey at subway just walks and gives it to Jersey Mike's is that how it works? I mean it's it different trucks I don't go down that rabbit hole. If you had it to do over again, here's my advice. If I had it to do over it, I will today. Because this is going to stay with me.

What you go to me, you go, look, man, it's nothing personal. I just like your chips, but I got to say my uncle, who's got some kind of corner artist, anyway, he owns this particular franchise across state. Oh, boy. And so it goes,

you're going to buy a sandwiches from, you know, Magic mics, whatever it is. So I love Subway and I love you. And actually, here's two more fives just to make up for it.

We good? We good? Yeah. And then you go to... For tomorrow. Or today you're going today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the strategy?

Heather, you're going to do recon again? I think the biggest part of this story is that I carry fives. Who has $5 bills? I got him because I was taking the trip here and I go, I'm going to get fives, tens, 20s. Just so I have, you know, throwing around money.

That's the happiest little, you froze for a second and one of the happiest faces I've ever seen me. Oh, did I freeze? I got, well, just a second of you're like, I got fives, fives, five, and it was like, I'm so joyous. I've never seen you that joyous. I got five, five, five.

I got fuck you money. I got five. Those chips are two, here's five. Well, that story, you know, that story's, uh, that's one for the books. What books we don't know, but. I've been making an effort lately to choose products from my home that are built to last. That's why I'm excited to share today's sponsor, avocado green mattress. That's right.

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That's avocado green mattress.com slash fly. Avocado green mattress.com slash fly. Now we're getting a message. Do you have a TV on in the background, David? No, why? All right, turn it off. I just like more light in the room. What do you have on?

Well, just if there's no volume, it's nothing, right? It's nothing. Or was there white noise? Are you in another? No, looks like there's something happening in my room. Holter guy's situation. This looks like the New York Skyline. right here.

Wow, that is a, yeah. Oh, they're seeing flashes. Oh, you know what else we had the other day? We had a visit, and Maria Bot brought two guys from 9-11. These two firemen, and they were great, and they talked to us. It was sort of nice just to, I know it's sort of a heavy thing to juxtapose to jate or whatever. Dennis says. Oh, Dennis.

Jette over to a heavier subject. That's kind of a... That was an important thing. Less important, Sidney, I guess, is as a commercial out about sports. I'm going to be very vaguely about sports. Let's watch it because I have not seen it. That's a great transition. Okay, here we go.

Don't like the music. Fine. Some Seinfeld. Think you know sports? A little bit. Prove it. Yeah, I do. No Vegas.

That's fine. Just sports. Now Vegas. So they wanted to show. Just sports. You can trade the sport and this sport. Oh. How about this?

That's hockey. This sport, too. Soccer. Or this? That's a really nice ad for sports. Sports. Sports. Sports.

Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. You can't trade this. Some people were saying this is dumb. No betting on wars or death. I disagree.

And no politics. Just asses, tits, and sports. I think what happened with this ad is... What's your thought? What's your blink? My first point is... What do you think happened?

It feels sexual. It feels a little bit like she... almost steals focus from the real message, which is enjoy sports. And she's sort of stealing focus because in certain times it feels like she's not fully dressed. Yeah. And I'm sure they're kicking themselves now. The costume were going, it didn't even look like she had clothes on. Wasn't our job to put clothes on her for the head?

Yeah. I would say my random thing popping into my head is that she might be a marketing genius. well listen the big fight over this is a big story dana it didn't get out to the ranch yet bigger than the shoot out at mike's magic mike salon magic mike salon and the subway cigarette smoking stare down yeah it's um it's too sexual and all that but you know i can see both sides of the coin i don't know what the commercial is about in fairness it says nor norbid or nor vague or that part i don't really understand it, but that, yeah, Norvig is what? Do they make sports equipment? I think it's sports gambling, possibly. Let me ask you, Heather, a question, and Greg, if he wants to chime in.

What about the exact same commercial with a young man who's very fit or whatever, same shots, everything? How would that go over? It would be the same? Probably work. Just a question. Sometimes I like to bring some intellectual lifting to the slightly better only because women are like it's so overused like we always use right for their bodies it might be kind of clever with a guy right there's arguments on both sides like that that good looking tennis player was taking off his shirt the other day in between sets and there was shown uh carlos abereros yeah and they're like if this was rolls reversed i'm like well they're not it's a guy and who cares well that's always sort of floats and like where is the

where does that land in terms of women caring about a man's body the same as a man with a woman. Is everything the same? Well, she was more undressed than most in that commercial. Now, well, it feels like when she was on the basketball hoop that she didn't even have proper underpants on. She should at least have underpants on. She should have underpants on and she could have had underpants on, but you couldn't tell, you know. If she had knee pads on, then that's a whole other thing.

Guys, minds drift off to it. Oh, Chloe, you can send it. There's a couple funny ones out there, but... Parody. Oh, here's a parody one with your girl, Chloe Feynman. Oh, I want to see Chloe, because she's funny. Yeah. She'll make it funny.

Oh, Greg, it's being sent to you. I will say there's arguments like they brought up the Sports Illustrated body issue where all the athletes are sort of naked around a batter. Yeah, there is that. Yeah. And that's hailed as the greatest. But I think people just, I think the real story, they don't like Sydney Sweet. So she's on the wrong side right now.

And so she's going to take some shit. And she'll take it all the way to the bank. So like it or lump it. Well, she mentioned no politics in sports. At the end, I think. Yeah. Yeah. But.

All right. So, so Chloe, who just left S&L, made this and posted it. Yeah, we like Chloe. Yeah, she's great. She's great. I got to take my Sydney Sweetie. And so without further ado,

the same list for. All the same music. But many people think this out is about sport. It's actually about 10. But, but. She has her Sydney, sweet, booms from SNL. Yeah. My favorite sport.

she says when we're going to be a spark. I don't know. Oh, that one hurt. That would look like an outtake. I think about spart. Fuck. I've received my freaking life. She does kind of look like her with all that makeup.

I mean, it kind of was a different look for her. Oh, this. But. So cool, right? Barth. Fuck. She could have gotten out there. That's funny.

I like it. I thought it would be funny. I know you're probably uncomfortable. But I think they're fun and cool. Yeah. She could have taken out 10 seconds in the middle. That was good, though. Well, I love it that, you know, this idea that she's not going to be on SNL. It's just summertime. And she just makes this really funny thing. And then it probably got multi-millions by now, views. Yeah, who knows? I mean, the idea of like, you still have your phone to make stuff. If you think of something, you don't even have to wait until Saturday anymore if you're on SNL. That is a bit of a, it's been a problem for S&L sometimes because they, you know, the meetings on Monday, the show Saturday.

Well, there's so many other people doing parody of current events in the middle. But then there's evergreen things, you know, like the church lady, which, you know, works any time. Yeah, excuse me a second. Oh, shit, Lauren calling. Oh, shit. We're not saying that's true. We're just saying there's avenues for people to post things. So we're a big joke to you?

I'll let him say it. Right. Right. Sports, sports. She just makes guys sound dumb. This is a bigger crime. Guys like sport. Which we are.

Well, I just kind of like her. I just think she's very clever. And then that movie that I love, and I won't remember the name of that now. The Housemaid. House made. She was absolutely great in that. And so was, the other one was extraordinary. Oh, Anna.

Amanda. Amanda Sigfrid? Safefried. That's it. Safe free. Possibly. I still think that was one of the most entertaining movies. Was it better than Odyssey?

Did you like it better? I'm going to say this, apples and oranges. They were not even in the same stratus. except they were recording people. So I like sexual thrillers with intrigue. I like that genre. I do like a good, you know, Jason the Argonauts. I love Gladiator.

I saw Odyssey twice. Oh, and you saw House Made twice, so that's a tie. House made maybe three times. Because I'm always fascinated. Why did this work so well? Yeah, it's hard to figure out. It has a third act that you think the movie's winding up. Housemade, I thought the movie.

movie was over. Me too. And then, but it did work because it escalated everything. Everything went bananas. You know, I, um, if you like sexual thrillers, that's why you liked my Jersey Mike story about the bake lays. It had everything. Right, because you were, you were in your short shorts, and that was the sexual part of it. Yeah, I wore dolphin shorts from the 80s. At least what I've heard, you know, this is tabloid shit, is that you sat on a bench over there. You, you, had no clothes on, you had a basketball over your crotch, while you were looking at this. And I was momenting word shorts. Right.

I don't know if that's true. No, I just said, tap, shorts. Shorts. Hey, you don't know. You don't know what's real anymore. I don't know. Let's look at some news stories and see what's going on in this crazy world. And we're supposed to do buzzing around.

Oh, we are? Oh, you want to do buzzing around now? Let's get rid of it. Let's get rid of it. I mean, let's have fun with it. Fuck, it's bright, hold on. Okay. I got your text about the three, three characters. Oh, okay.

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To get matched in minutes, talk-hyatry.com slash five. Saturday nights with my friends and early Sunday mornings with my kids are both non-negotiated for me. I totally understand. Harper is 18. Listen. And I like to be intentional about both. That's right. That's our Zbiotics.

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code fly for 15% off your first order. Zbiotics is a partner of mine. Back to the podcast. It's time for Bozergeron. Sponsored by FiverE Energy's new caramel apple flavor. Dive into caramel apples straight from the orchard. Very sugar-free, faltery.

Oh, caramel apple. I like that. Find caramel apple shots for limited time online at 5Renergy.com or Amazon today. Okay. Now let's hear what you got, man. Okay, I thought of this right before we locked in. So it's either just a very posh British man or maybe it's King Charles. Michael Kane and a surprise guest are in a bar restaurant really posh in London and there is a bit of a shaker.

Oh, an earthquake? Yeah, that's nice. Okay. Oh, God, it's King Charles. Well, it's great to see both of the Bobbys Chimes, the cocktails, the fles, and all these things are. God damn it, this Billy Bob Thorne, I can't understand a fucking word you're saying. I'm sorry, I was so excited, Billy. And it's about you, Michael K.

You decided to have a cuttailed King Charles. I don't know why you talked like that. I can't understand. I would your shade. I don't very. I'm just going to nurse my dachary here. Is it dachary? Yes.

Hold on. Hold on, everyone. Surprise guest? There's a bit of a shaker. Oh, shaker. A bit of a shaker going on. Yeah, right. Don't you think, Billy Malp's all?

Well, God damn it, I didn't come to goddamn England and getting a goddamn earthquake. What do you think, Michael King? Well, it's very rare. I'd rarely fake. But it's getting a bit, a bit much worse that I possibly thought, I don't believe. We haven't had to shake it like this at Charlemagne. Hang on everybody. I'm King Charles, and this has been a moment with five-hour energy.

How? He says it in the commercial. Wow. Yeah, Mike dropped it, man. Is it Billy or Bob? It's Billy Bob. I used to Billy Bob with my friends. No.

And Northwest Charlottes and near the castle, right, Michael? You did no such thing. I'll be it but pitch a movie for you to be it with being Betty Popton. We don't need this goddamn big of nothing in our movie. We can do it with somebody else like Dana Carvey. He knows how to do King Charles. Well, if you're flattered, there hasn't been this much noise around here since Megan Markle dropped names on her first visit. Can I ask you a personal question?

What's with the Megan Harry thing? It's a bit messy. They want a dowry and they want to be royals and not one foot out, one foot out. So I've decided to give them a billion pounds just so they'll be happy. A billion pounds. a billion pounds just show don't be happy I want to shut them up

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It's not, you see, like when I do impressions, I need to warm up. You know, I usually have to do them like 10 minutes, and then I get really into them. But whatever. You like to warm the throat like Andrew Watt told us about Mick Jagger.

Oh, yeah. Their obsession. It doesn't sound dilated enough. Now I'm doing Michael Cain. All right. Let's go to some stories because. Oh, yeah. Stories.

We got stories. Doctor forgets patient. Oh, my worst nightmare. An MRI machine for six hours. Really? What kind of doctor? Is that really the guy? Well, who's taking the video?

and not taking him out. He went to the hospital for a routine MRI. Midnight. What? Around midnight after being placed inside the MRI machine, the doctors completely forgot about him. His head was restrained. He wore a mask and his phone was left outside the machine.

Wait a minute. He couldn't crawl out of there? I don't think you're trapped in that conveyor. I don't think you're trapped in that machine. But you can't really lift up to. Well, you could scooch out? No, Dana. No.

The machine hummed, and he was trapped in agony, unable to move. His wife couldn't find him and called the police. Oh, thrown off the scent. Who has all this video from it? Yeah, who's taking the video? This person could have let him out. I'm saying. You think it's a scam?

I call AI. The doctors and staff involved have been held accountable. A million? Not enough. No. is irreparable. What do you think? No, actually, it is true, but the result was great.

They needed to do it for six hours. He does not have a brain tumor. It's a happy ending. Okay. I thought they were going to say, good news we found you. The bad news, there's a cantalow size. Now, you know what Kevin Neal needs to say? About the size of tumor.

They found an orange in my head, the size of a tumor. Is that his joke? Yeah. It sounds like Kevin. Very. Very Kevin. We love Kevin, yeah. Well, I love when they do use things like softballs, golf ball size, different thing, you know, the Titanic size, whatever.

You've got it. What if you had a head-sized tumor in your head? It'd be like, oh, I'm fucked. Well, if I ever had a goiter that was another version of me, like my head is right here, goiter, and it could talk and stuff, I'd go to Vegas. You know, when it's fall, very rarely are people going goiter draining. It's not as much fun as that. I know a guy he was in the neighborhood and it was just a family name. He was Goiter Johnson.

And I go, really, dude? I mean, Goiter as a first name, David's here. Matthew, Cechek. Okay, Goiter, present. My name's Greg, but they call me Goiter. Oh. Yeah, I just think it's a bad choice of a nickname. Let's call it.

I'm going to tell you the three sickest words in that vicinity are Goiter, Boyle, and Pustule. I can't even put them in order of sickness. Right. Oh, I have a boil. Oh, gross. No, it's just a goiter. Sick. I mean, it's just a puschial.

Bluh. Let's try to pop it. Pustule, goiter. Dr. Goiter. I'm going to get a new competing show. A large cyst. No, not as bad. Cist isn't as...

Postule is good. I don't, not quite sure what it is. Pustle with pus. It's a pus. Yeah. Oh, when people are talking about pus. Watching this in the morning with their coffee. Turn it off, Daddy.

No. They want you to talk about pus, not pus. Amen. Okay, next story. We're on fire. Well, that's for sure. China will launch World's First Pregnancy Robot in 2026, capable of giving birth to a live baby.

In robot news. Who wants that kid? So a robot, so they're going to put a... Ugh. they have they do they have robot abortions well the the baby's not a robot right the idea is they're putting a baby in a robot then it grows in a robot i mean i would say don't waste your time having a robot baby that's not that's not news so whose baby is it how would like do the one go i'll donate my eggs for that experiment you know if you're like if you have a robot mom and stuff they go mom can i

some cocoa puffs and she can't control the strength of a robot hand. You give me, I'll do it and you'll do it and you do an effect. A robot, a little box of cocoa puffs squeezing it. Crunch. Wait a minute. Wait till I do the thing. I will get you your cereal. I'm robot mom.

Here we go. Crunch. That's it. Well, can't you do it slower? I don't have a good one for that. I don't have a good one for that. That's the kid's arm. Have you ever done that when you're getting off an airplane?

I've actually scared people. Like you put it in the back and you go like, oh, my neck. I can pop my own neck. Right. And if they can't see it, it really looks real. It's so funny. Try to do it where we can't see it. Okay, right.

You know, it's down below and you just go like that. I sprayed myself with water. Hold on. Hang on. Oh, my neck. Oh, my God. Just one. Just one.

It feels better. Now you got new stick to do. I got to get a plastic. You're doing plain stick with that one. Oh, Donna. Okay. We're not going to fix that robot thing. We're not going to fix that robot.

The problem is I never look at the camera because I have to look at you on the... I know, but you do it sometimes for like effect. Yeah, it's funny. Where's my robot baby? What does he think he's doing? Okay, let's do another one I used to be called rubber-faced Okay, this corgi dog

picks up his friend for their daily scheduled argument through a glass door. Okay, this will be a lighthearted fun one. Come on, let's go. Okay, they look friendly enough. Where are we going? Oh, okay, come on, follow me.

And then they just want it, that's their fun. Yeah, they want to play. Because the other dog can't go in. No, he can go in. They just like this. Oh, this is their game. Okay. Oh, that's kind of sweet.

I like this. Look at the corgi look like. You see that shit? That is really, that's cute. I like the music. So if you get, for 90% of audience, it's listening. Really two cool dogs. And one goes behind the playing glass and they pretend they're attacking each other.

Which they could easily both. And the other one could have gone. in the same room, but it stayed on the other side. They wanted to bark at each other. They wanted to bark at each other with, you know, with safety, really. You can always see those videos where the dogs bark. I got a little dog's barking, a big dog, and then they open the door, and the little dog goes, just joking around.

I hope you didn't take any offense to the fun I was having. It was just a fun thing I do. I know. You're big, me tiny. No, no, you're great, you know. I always thought I get up. I rub, I push him in Woody Allen. A domination was a sort of.

No. Haddon said Woody Allen makes it into every podcast. That's probably the top one that makes it. Well, because it's, you know, I feel nauseous, the idea of a... Nauseous. A Dalmatian, you know, I start to count the dots and they... That's funny. That's a pretty good line.

Dalmatian is a funny dog, too. You start counting dots until I've got to see my therapist. And I, you know, no, but this is Woody Allen. I mean, good Lord. We watched one of our, in our rotation for movies. I know you're not a movie guy, but no. We watched Midnight in Paris again. We've probably seen it.

Oh, what time is at midnight? About 12 times with Owen Wilson is so good in it. Here's a scene for the movie. Ready? Hey, it's midnight in Paris. What's that in L.A.? Oh, I guess that's... You know, it'd be great if we could just stay here in Paris, you know?

In the 1920s, you know, Hemingway. and all these people. Really? You think so? I don't think so. Yeah, he goes on these walks in Paris and he goes back in time. And then he comes back and he's got

his fiancé and her parents are just busting his balls. And it's a brilliant movie. It's only 90 minutes. It's incredibly good. You know what? If it's 90, I might think about it. It's so good.

They go, The Odyssey. It's only 90 minutes times five. the honesty is you've got to kind of fasten your seatbelt if I have a good chair and some coating I could probably get through the Odyssey well if you're in the back it's depending on the theater then you can stand

for periods of time which is actually healthy for everybody after a certain age not to just sit for three hours I've done that since high school yeah and that's healthy okay let's go to another story the only time your spine compresses is when you're sitting standing

and go boi-in-loon I know I need to open open up my spine when I get back from all this shit. Good idea. Okay, this we might end on this one. Let's see. Smooth with it. Let's see what he's doing. He's smooth with it.

We don't know what we're going to see. What is he holding a bat? Oh, he's faking like he can't hold these things. He's good at it. It's good. It's a good mime. Look at that lacrosse stick. He's making a lacrosse stick.

It seems easy. That's hard. Oh, there you see that? No, this is he's a. That's hard to do. He's part of a circus. This is very clever to make a hockey stick look like it can fly. Oh, that was good.

We got a real Marcel. That was just impressive. Jesus Christ, the thing weighed six pounds the way he was swinging it around. He just think it would weigh like 200 pounds, carfey. Is Marcel Marcel working anymore? You don't see him on the big screen. Jesus, that's a kind of job for somebody. I'll get a hockey stick and try to flip it around as if it.

it's heavier than the actual hockey stick. There's got to be money in that somewhere. You know, kind of count the shingles that call, not shingles. What do they call them and roll the shekels? Yeah, count the shackles. The Roman coin was called a shekel. By the way, it was a lacrosse, I think. But either way, it's funny.

La Crosse, what did I say? Hockey. Same thing. It's a stick. The guy's thrown around. All right, Dana, that concludes. This is a good episode. That hit 54.

Yeah, we kill it. That's kind of, kind of perfect. Dan, I need you to stick around because I want to give you a... Yeah, we're going to read 42 ads just so you know fans, and we're going to try to make them real entertaining, so we'll be back. All right, see you next week. I'll tell you all about Jersey mics. Yes, I want to hear it. Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us review, five-star rating, and maybe you can share an episode that you've loved with a friend. Watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe.

We're on video now! Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com. That's a-u-d-ac-y-I-com.