Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - The Knicks & Taylor Swift

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

This week, David & Dana are talking about David’s joke bombing at The Improv, Taylor Swift, and the Knicks wild comeback in Game 4 of the NBA Finals. Also, the LA Mayoral race, Buzzing Around, and the stories of the week. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rob Reiner's son. Terrible topic. A terrible already. If you can land this, I'm going to send you $100. Don't worry. It was a total wipeout. Well, first of all, you're in a deficit, but go ahead. Taylor Swift, where are they going?

You know what I mean? She's not walking. I'm going, taxi. That'd be funny. Taylor Swift, taxi. Hey, guys, quit screaming. Taxi. I want a taxi.

Did I sound like Taylor Swift at all? Sort of. Sort of. I went to school with you. And I go, oh, cool, cool. Where did you go to Swarrow? She said, yeah. And she goes, the other girl, he looks young.

He is not young at all. And I go, oh, didn't know how to react. She goes, but you do look young, so she sucked me in again. She goes, but he's a lot older than you think. And I go, get fucked. How about, just ring it up. Enough. Google, we're releasing male mosquitoes to reduce the population.

Hundreds of thousands of them. We're Google. You know, make a most of them. Are you tired of people? Pregnant mosquitoes. Introducing. We cut their mosquito nuts off. Yeah.

Good luck making a batches mosquito kids. Those days are over. We got you neutered, mosquitoes. You ready? One, two, three. Welcome to the show. Dan Blarney. I've got David Spoodler are here in for Dana Spade.

Questions about my hair, I'll take first. I just did this thing. Heather said, if your hair's ever super greasy and you haven't washed it in four days, spray dry shampoo, so right? So I do it. But look it, look, it's gray. See that? I kind of like it.

See that streak in there? Oh, I've been watching. No chance. Not me. I just do it. I just spray it and I ran down here. And we only spend, no joke, probably an hour and a half getting ready for this show. It's amazing.

I guess the listeners could know that after this particular podcast, I'm going to get in the car and drive for six hours on interstates. I know. You're a stud for doing this. Well, yeah, but it is sort of an interesting one because, you know, I don't know about you. I don't know what your packing situation is. but I'm dysfunctional. I really, if I have a car, this is a drive, if it's a, you know, a luggage, flight.

And I start putting shit in there that's like one in a million I'm ever going to need it. Like, well, what if I want a second sport coat? Am I going to wear it for the gig we're doing? What do I want a car? What if I need a second long sleep? You know, what about should I hike with these shoes? And these shoes could be good on stage, but also these, because I have a car where I can throw the seat down.

So I have stuff. I could survive for six months with what I've packed for one one gig basically. Is it for our gig? Yeah, but then I'm around town. I'm doing seeing a doctor just for a checkup. And I'm going to be visiting my mother-law. You know, you just go, well, throw it in. I'll just throw it in.

What if I need my snake bite socks where the snakes don't bite me when I hike? and what if what if i need a backup toothbrush i mean what if that toothbrush disappears so it's a very crazy thing i have going on but you're pretty you're pretty together i think if i had to say yeah i'm pretty streamlined at packing now but you got to have some backups uh i will tell you i went to the improv last night and we're going to break this down of why this didn't work i love doing this i'll tell you inside baseball for the audience it is so much fun to work on someone else's bit, and it's horrifying to work on your own bit.

It's very frustrating. So what was, you go to the improv, here's your joke, didn't work, let's hear it. Okay, so I go to the improv, and on the way I hear on the news. And by the way, the first problem, touchy subject. So we're already at a deficit.

Right, depends on the crowd. Second problem, undercooked. Right, and the crowd sometimes likes this. But you're thinking of it, But I hear it on the radio going right to the, so you're just doing it spontaneous. I'm one minute away from the improv and I go. Okay, got it. I say, I should say something about this.

So it's not quite formulated and that is the architecture is so important. It seems like nothing. But how you set it up, how you pay it off, do they have all the information, the minimal amount, but all the information so they will understand what you say next. That's exactly right. And it was not really any of that. So I said, hey guys. Okay.

Hey, guys. It's good. guys already they're your friend it was too up early because i tried to remember i'm like i got to say something so i do one or two settling bits and they're pretty good crowd melissa villasiniore was before me who you like she's very good great great great talent super nice very nice and uh she has a little bit of this touch streak too uh she she gets off and does great job and then i go oh blah blah blah and And then I say, oh, so I just heard that Nick Reiner, do who Nick Reiner is? Do I?

Silence. Oh, no. You did the audience that goes silence? Kind of because then I hear some guy go, yeah. And I go, Rob Reiner's son. Terrible topic. A terrible already. If you can land this, I'm going to send you $100.

Don't worry. It was a total wipeout. Well, first of all, you're in a deficit, but go ahead. I told you. I don't know. And then I'm realizing this is so morbid already. And I go, well, there was a situation. I said, anyway, the news was today that Rob Reiner's son, Nick, who is in jail,

is suing the estate of Rob Reiner because he's not getting his millions of dollars in the will. And I'm like, what a bummer. The one guy that could give you the money and yet, kill him. Okay. And what was the response? This, nothing. Just too. Heather fell asleep.

If you're thinking of how I could fix it, I don't know if it's fixable. Well, yeah. And it's also, it's pretty perfunctory as a turn, you know. Ooh, what does that mean? Well, it's not exotic. There's not a bunch of surprise to it. He's going after his money.

And is it an ironic? He killed the one guy who could have wrote him the check. Yeah. I mean, it could have been in that Ilanis Morissette's song if it was today. you that the guy you kill as a one guy because now he's suing him because he wants that money. His argument is, I need that money for a legal team so I can get out of jail for killing you. You might. Maybe the only way to make it lighter is to put it on you.

Like I totally relate, you know, once this kid wouldn't give me his lunch money and, you know, I've smashed him in the face with a tennis ball. Some other tricks are, yeah, take it away from that. There's one where my mom gets bruising easily in my act, but it worked only when I switched it and said, I'm worried about her, but she thinks it's funny. Now it's lighter. Of course. And so she laughs when she bruises and she goes,

I go, what happened to your hip? She goes, oh, I must have run into a table. I go, mom, you have a bruised from your ankle to your ribs. She's like, I know, I don't know what happened. I go, I think you got hit by a missile. Yeah, all that's fine as long as she's safe and okay. She thinks it's funny. Because we all get, I got a hematoma just from getting a blood test,

but it doesn't hurt at all. Look at all. Oh, whoops, excuse me. Not only tigers, get out of cages. But I'm going to say this, because I'll be the coach at the improv. Yeah. That topic is too difficult right now. And especially for L.A.

They all, some people knew him. Some people, it's such a local. I mean, it's in the Hall of Fame of tragedy, like the darkest, what? So I knew them. And they're like, why are you? You was in your movie. I'm like, I know. I'm just.

I know. Rob Reiner directed Spinal Tap. And I was in that with him. Oh, you're in that. Here's another one that'll remind you of, here's a sports story before we get to the big sports story. But Jacoby Brissette, this is just a local bit for me. Okay.

that I am following the Cardinals, Arizona Cardinals. I'm one of the few to follow what's going on. So they're having a transition year rebuilding. Right. And they got a new quarterback, but Jacoby percent was the backup for Kyler. Chandler. Chiller.

And he went to Minnesota. You don't need to know what this is. I'm mesmerized. Go ahead. Arbiturate. Thank you. Heather's different. Does Heather have a pillow if she wants to?

She does. She's in the couch. So Jacoby Reset is the backup and he's holding out, you know, at camp because they're negotiating, but he's supposed to only get $4 million or something this year. I'm like, that is low for a starting QB. And then I'm like, what if the negotiators, and he's not getting anywhere. So he's just showing up at camp now finally. He doesn't have a deal.

And I go, I feel like maybe the negotiators. are accidentally negotiating with Iran, and Trump is calling the Cardinals. And now that's why everything's a mess. That's not for my heck. That's just for you. We're going to do with Iran. We're going to do a lot of stuff. I'll do this at the gig, but I've turned Trump into sort of a character from Lord of the Rings now to amuse myself.

You know, they call it the precious. They call it the precious. It's a great little ring. got to get the ring, you know. I mean, I'm not, I'm just tired of trying to sound like Trump. So I've made him into a like, like, Gullum, you know, the precious, you better get the bra. Oh, shit, I pull a muscle doing Trump. No, I'm fine. Gallum was so famous in Lord of the Rings and I haven't seen him in one other movies since. Nothing.

He doesn't, well, newsflash, I know you don't read a lot, but Gollum doesn't look like that. It's a CGI character and the guy who voiced it has worked a lot. who Andy I live in a circus circus Andy I travel with the circus so all right now we get to your precious

necks um look I had to check myself I had to check myself which means you know cognitive behavioral because you get attached to a team

and you just kind of pick a team my team the Golden State Warriors were out so I became a fan of the Spurs just because they're average, they're right out of high school, basically. They shouldn't be doing what they're doing. Total underdogs.

And they've got the Wembley, who's called the alien. So they're up. Wembley. They're up. But, now we're doing this, of course. The finals are probably over.

We just saw the biggest game of the year last night, which unless the last game beats it, that last second tip in. I'll go out in. limb and say the spurs in seven and when this airs we may know and then I'll eat crow. What did that come from? Why do you have to eat crow? Because I don't even like bird.

In the old days when he would lose basketball games, they'd have to pick up a crow and eat it. Is that it? I mean, I'm not a good chat, GPT. Yeah. So I don't like to. But I realize for anybody, and this is an evergreen take, Greg. You know, it's the fun of getting attached and caring, but we know it's all pretend. They're not, you know, solving the Iran war.

It's just athletes trying to do something. And it's fun to care. But don't be personally wounded or sad. Find a place like, well, that happened, move on. But it's really just something to do. Like when I was at a sports bar last night and it was packed, packed some trashy bar, which I love and the kitchen was broke they go we only got hot dogs and we're like

that's fine so me Tommy Bobby are in there and then it gets so packed and then everyone's going shit house but I still have to go to a set at the improv so I'm like I'll watch this until it gets good then I believe so then the guy sees me and he comes and goes

Nexus Bears like he wants to kill me I'm like I don't know fucking Pratt Bass what are you talking about do which one in my full Is that your question? What did he say? It just sounded like a caveman.

What was the... He just said, Knicks or Spurs. And he wants me to answer wrong so he can beat the shit out of me. I'm like, he just turned to me and I'm standing there. And he fucking like almost chest bumped me. And I'm like, why do you want to beat me? I don't know, whatever you want. I don't want to live.

I don't give a fuck. Why would Rob Schneider do that, first of all? Why would Rob Schneider? Because he's practicing for grownups. Why would the L.A. Knicks or Spurs. What happened to their Lakers? I mean, they're such traitors.

Nobody gives it fat fuck anymore about the Lakers. They're like, we're moving on to whoever's got to eat. I want to join the Knicks bandwagon. It might be too late, but I'll do it if they win it all. But I'll tell you, let me tell you this right now. I like that one. Live sports in the digital streaming, not live streaming, streaming age, everything goes into the massive library.

See it any time. Live sports makes so much. much more money. And the audience, TV, quote, TV streaming on is so huge compared to everything else. We used to have all the families, number one, Jerry Seinfeld at the top. Now it's the Niners versus Cleveland, you know. So that's the reason we watch it. We don't get any of that totally live. It's not fixed. No one's seen it. You don't know what's going to happen. So I think the season's been really good. There's been some amazing games. And if you're a Knicks fan, right now, I guess you've won the championship or not.

We're recording this. Actually, we're recording this in 20. 22. Six weeks out. That's why I want to talk about it in the macro. Do you know what that means? Well, the macro, it means we're just an overarching look at sports and finals. And it's huge.

And is this fairly new when you're watching an NBA game or another game that draft kings draft kings you can bet here bet there bet there so that's also the biggest thing in the world right my degenerate buddy gambler said hey at the half did you see what the odds were that the nicks would come back and at the quarter did you see the over under of the points for i go dude i'm not a degenerate gambler sorry i'm actually just watching the game yeah and i get it but are you really when you're at the half and you're like playing it live they want you to bet on every everything, not just the game, win or lose. They need you fucking action all the way through, all the way through.

And then all the predictive markets and all those things. So, uh, and on what stars will be there. You can bet on that on those other markets. So speaking of Celebrity Road, they really packed it last night. It was, I think my biggest shocker, did you see that Taylor Swift was with PTA? Heather, was he? I think because it was with the Hame girls. There was some little club they made up.

and they said some little pun. Oh, I saw it. They put Joe. They spelled the Knicks the way the Knicks do with the K. And they put Stevie Nix. And then there was two other ones, the Hame Girls had. One was Nicole Kidman with Nix. So there's three of them.

The other one was good too. I don't know. It's kind of interesting. You know, you see people sitting on the wood and going crazy. And then the 10-year-old boy inside you or girl is like kind of like, What? They get to be billionaires. And now their team wins and they're just all happy.

Everything's going great. Too exuberance. Like, calm down. You got the billion. Okay. Let's just see. I did see when they went to a commercial. And they show like, I think it was Rock.

Chris Rock in the front. He's like this. Slow motion. They don't got it tonight. But it was all slow motion of people being sad like this. I know. Yeah. And then later on.

But I will predict and I will eat crow. I predict that spurs and seven. Spurs and seven. I just have a feeling about it. Yeah. Mark down. Also, oh yeah, this is a good question. Two questions.

First of all, Sandler was there with Jackie. Shabaw. And I can't remember everybody that was there. There was a few surprises. But afterwards, when there's such beatings out front, if you're on my Instagram, my algo. It's literally take your spurs jersey off. They rip it off, beat the people up.

Bloody noses, shit everywhere. Well, you come out and there's like 50 horses lined up, 50 horses with cops on top, just as an intimidation thing when you first come out. Like, please don't start shit. And there was a guy trying to save them from tearing out a light pole and they beat him. It's just a free car to say, go crazy.

And so they take them up on it, especially last night because it was such a flip around. And then Heather's saying, do you leave out of Maddoz Square Garden and go right into that riot, a mob of craziness? And if you're Sandler, secret tunnel, secret tunnel. I think you go underneath SUV, pop out the back. Yeah. No one's the wiser. And get the fuck out. Get the fuck out.

Yeah, they're not going to play. Taylor Swift. Where are they going? You know what I mean? She's not walking. I'm going, taxi. That'd be funny. Taylor said,

Hey guys, quit screaming. Taxi! I want to tax it. Did I sound like Taylor Swift at all? Sort of. Sort of. Oh, no, you don't. No, you don't.

Give me that. That's why you sounded exactly. God dang it. Where's mine? Oh, fuck, yeah. Is that for me or for the Knicks? That's when you, this is the audience when you did that weird joke. Worse than that.

Here's you when you grab your wiener. How did you know? Don't say that the daint. How did you know? Here's my act. This is what it's like for me when I do this podcast for my brain. Was that a record scratch? I don't know.

Here's Dana when I'm allergic to bad jokes. Here's what happens. Here's what I do. That was a bad setup. Here's an impression to you when a joke doesn't work at the improv. What? It's pretty good. When I see you eating alone.

Yours are actually good. Mine are 10. That one's a good one. This is you when you get out of the shower and you look in the mirror. Here's Dana when Gervitt's called. I was about a road gig. Yours are too logical. I don't even know what these buttons are going to say.

Here's you taking a left turn on Las Enaga. Jesus. Here's you taking a right turn. That's Heather during everything we've talked about. Running a business means wearing a lot of hats. But I used to find that traditional banking options always seem to slow me down with endless friction like plain phone tag. just to chase down the status of an international wire transfer. That's why I love using Mercury.

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the other day on the street and just said this. At first I didn't understand, he goes, Heather is my microphone. What? Heather needs a microphone. Yeah, I know.

That was Heather. No, people ask me what. Why do we keep her? What? Yeah. It's sort of, I think it's sort of the fun mystery of the show

like that. She can always, walk over here and get on. But it's sort of funny to go, who's Heather? Where's Heather? And then she asks questions. And she laughs a lot. We can hear that. She's the whole audience. Yeah. How many feet is Heather away from you? These are good questions. I would say 11. 11 feet. And that laugh travels. We can't have her any closer. I know. I have to land a banger to hear her. You get up. You get a You get like a metronome. No, she laughs at literally everything you say, which is disgusting.

She's not paid to laugh at me. Hey, David, what you're just saying right now? It's so loud. People go in the comments. Is it really that loud? Could it be? It can't be as louder than my voice. That's a foghorn.

Okay, wait, I have to ask something else. Oh, here's what this lady said to me at the gift shop in Arizona. Okay. It's a great setup. So I go in there and she goes, hey, she's with another lady. And she goes, I went to school with you. And I go, cool, cool. Where did you go to Swarrow?

She was, yeah. And she goes, the other girl, he looks young. He is not young at all. And I go, oh, didn't know how to react. She goes, but you do look young. So she sucked me in again. She goes, but he's a lot older than you think. And I go, get fucked.

How about just ring it up. Enough. But then she goes, I graduated this year. When did you? And I go, oh, before that, she goes, oh, you're older than I thought. And I already thought you were old. God damn. She kept bearing herself.

And I go, I'll take my things. And that's enough. Good day, sir. Yes, that was a bit I used to do. It was like, what you suggest is nothing short of madness. Good day to you, sir. I said good day. I said good day.

Oh, dude. Go ahead. I had a woman come up to me and go, you don't look like you did 40 years ago. I go, you don't either. No shit. No shit, Sherlock. You know, people, what they do is this. Like, we have to be on these screens and stuff.

So we get scrutiny, you know. But if people go to their bathroom mirror and put their chin up, loaded with light, just a straightforward shot going with a turn of that going, why is everybody getting old? Look at me. Drives me nuts. Drives me nuts. I drive in my car with a ringlight,

which is hard to drive in case anyone sees me. But I do use that. I did say to what you suggest is nothing showed of madness. Good day to you, madam. I just saw a funny clip of Lovitz. Oh, you should have it. I don't have it. Oh.

Lovitz was on a flight. And you know how you ever know a flight? And they go, can you get up into the announcements? Can you say bye to everyone? So he gets up and does stuff on South West. He's laughing away. Hilarious. Yeah.

So funny because that's what people want you to do. Get up and say something funny. I've done it. Not that often, but I've done it. Hello. John Canton. Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased around applause for me. I'm the oldest flight attendant in history.

This is my one million flight. John could get gigs just doing that announcement for different airlines, you know. He's on the road sometimes with dice clay. It's pretty funny. They go out together. And then they film themselves in the airports and stuff and they're always arguing it's funny. Hmm. I like everything I'm hearing.

You like what you hear? That's a perfect match. We just got through the voting situation. We have a new mayoral runoff in the snow for any. Karen Bass and the woman's name is Mithia Rahman. Ramadam Lupapa. As they call her in the post, Mithia Top Ramen, as they call her in sports. So she conceded on election night and I think was very emotional.

And then they said, she was in third on election. Yeah. But wait, there's more. Oh, wait. And then 17 million ballots flooded it. I don't know. I know. I have to say they, they show.

We should take this voting a little more seriously here because we are the slowest and most. I'm not saying there's any tampering with the voting, but there's every opportunity to. If you were tampering, you'd want this system, you know, where you can go to doors and like, what do you want, dude? Here's a ballot. I'll come back in a couple days, you know, and then you harvest it, whatever party you're from. So they should fix it so no one has suspicions. There's no security at the ballot boxes. That's illegal.

have someone there or watch? Are they stuffing them as anyone taking it out, lighting it on fire? Yeah. My brother went to vote up in Northern California and he showed his ID and they said, get that fucking ID out of my face. They were like angry that he wanted to show ID. Well, I don't think you're even supposed to show your ID. They show gym memberships.

You can show anything. I don't even think you have to show you to say, hey, what's up. And that's the problem. That's what some people want. So it's more fair in quotes. and some people. You know, when you're on a flight, you have to show your ID,

you have to show your, you know, real ID and your license or a passport. Every second. Every second you turn around, you're driving, like, why can't it just be a driver's life? Something. A real ID.

Well, whatever you would get to go on an airplane. Right. That's all. You know, to drive. I don't know. This is kind of a hot take. Some,

a lot of people love the current system, but I feel like it invites suspicion, and we don't want anyone to think, like that. You know, when I grow up, it was like, and Richard Nixon defeats Hubert Humphrey. It was like 11 o'clock or midnight. And the presidential election was called, not just the state election. Another problem is they used to, if you handed it on the day of the election, it would still count later if they needed it. Right. But they don't go by postmark, which was the legal way. Now it's you can write in when you handed it in what day. So if you can do that,

then you could just, it just should be a little more of a tighter ship. That's all I'm saying. I just like to meet the guy. Yeah, I'm Congressman Steve Wilkers, and that's the system I put in place in California. You know, what is the, I guess the idea is more people participate? I don't know. Right. Obviously, the idea is you just have to realize some people are going to play the system.

Some people really need this system the way it is now. and some people clown it. Same with everything. Same with the border. Good people want to come in, also bad people. You've got to have some system to differentiate the two.

And that's the hard part. They said Nithia didn't even win in her own district and then after it was over, she shot up thousands and thousands and thousands. Is it weird to say right at this moment that if you ran, I would vote for you?

Me? You're pretty articulate there. I can run. I wasn't on a reality show, but I could run. What is, should we have I could run. I know nothing.

Mr. We should. That's a great campaign. I know I know just as much as current politicians, meaning I know nothing. I'm like Colonel Schultz. They gave Pratt a lot of shit.

And you go, well, I don't mind he doesn't know because at least he's saying things that no one says. You want to hear. And you go, you could be a politician for 50 years, but if nothing's going the right way,

who cares about your experience? That means just you're in bed with a lot of people that you owe. And there's same with both sides of the aisle. They have been in so long. It's all kind of sketchy on both sides. The best Congress money can buy. And you can get in that Congress and go to those meetings and listen in. Oh, really?

So Nvidia is getting that government deal. Go place a bet on the stock market. That's the only reason to be in Congress. Yeah, you can really get rich. If you... Give me some of your stocks, Richie Rich. I got to get back in the game. You know, it's always, it's still like nerve wracking.

You ever heard of the phrase volatility? No, the word, actually. It's not a phrase. Nope. Stocks go like this these days, you know. Are you in SpaceX or no? Well, SpaceX is going to take off like a rocket, no pun intended. No, I don't know what it's going to do, but you do know that in the big banks,

there's people who bought SpaceX essentially for a nickel. right, per share. And now it's $135 a share. So the amount of millionaires and I guess billionaires that will be printed unless the stock doesn't perform. But it may go way up and way down. We don't know because it has never made any money. It might be like a rocket and go like this.

And then go down. And it should have an escape hatch. Excuse me. I have muni bonds and they balance out my portfolio. No boy. Don't get me started on my favorite. I want to be a quillionaire. You've got plenty.

I mean, you know, I just like to. Heather wants to be a trillionaire, but I want to be a quillionaire. Hey, David, everything you owned you back. Have you ever thought of that? Every day. If you've ever thought of this, you occupy your house, but you live here. Your spirit, soul, and physicality is right here. Never thought of that?

Didn't cross my mind. You're just going to chase you? shiny things until you go. Yeah, I go like this. This is a Camaro. If that's cool, that means I'm cool, right? Cool things around me. Watch this. That means me. If I have a new shirt, that means I'm new. Yeah. I see. I get it. Look, I bought a guitar recently, a little cool, cool guitar. I got a guitar you might like. The only things I like is what I can interact with. Yeah. A pool, a basketball hoop. You know, great, a television.

You're interactive, golfing. All right. Let's go to the hot stories. Let's go to the stories. Dana's got to hit the 405. I have a 17-hour drive. I'm in no. I like that we always act like we're so busy for the podcast.

We're like, we just got to buzz. If you go, you don't even try. Oh, buzzing around. Okay. I'll just say it. I haven't given this a thought. At all. But at all.

At all, because I wasn't sure. But that's what I love about buzzing around. round and um you've got a whole okay i have to have pierce morgan pierce morgan okay we have maybe we're going to do all these people at the nix game is that healthy is that something you can handle sure it's time for buzzing around fan favorite uh sponsored by five hour energy's firework freeze flavor ignite your taste buds with red white and blue freezer pop classic reimagined as a delicious firework freeze five hour energy shot find Now, fireworks freeze shots online at 5Oenergy.com or Amazon today.

And today's saying, by the way, Fourth of July is coming up, which is really kind of turning into a Joe Dirt holiday, to be honest, with all the- Joe Dirt is what you, you know what your movies do? They just travel. You know, like Joe Dirt was not like a $100 million movie, but it's bigger. But this is the good thing. It's bigger now than it was even then. I have to say that's true.

Tommy boy, Joe Dirt. So I think that's a good thing rather than they come out. We're working on doing a Joe Dirk cartoon and we will have more on that story later. Okay, so buzzing around, you're going to have Pierce Morgan. Who else?

Well, I'm just... You can pick anybody you want. Just to survive this. Mondami? Yeah. Oh, he was there. He jinxed the other game. I mean, yeah, I usually do too.

many, but here, there's that guy. Okay, I got six puppets. Here we go. And they're at the Knicks game, right? Yeah. Do I hold the puppets up or I just do the voices? No, you just do one at a time. Okay. You can do whatever. All right, here we go. You take your time. Yeah. So, so Tucker Carlson was at the Knicks game and he was rooting for the Knicks. And all, he just, the entire time, he was just in a state of hysterics. He was like, ha ha ha, ha, ha. You know, it helps that he's laughing in the picture. Well, that's why I do it. Do I hold up the puppets or just do the voices?

I don't care. Whatever's easier. So, David, do you watch sporting events? I think that it does help that I can see him. It's funny. Okay. I actually do. I watch a lot of the game last night.

And that's what you do. It's just watch men running around, throwing a basketball round. and that satisfies you. You don't need anything else in life. Just watching men play sports. Is that what you're saying? I mean, it sounds sexual the way you're saying it, but it's not just for fun.

You don't have much of a life, do you? Is that the way you like to live your life, very quiet, out of the spotlight? Well, not on purpose, but yeah. Pierce, you're being kind of mean. That is condescending, I mean. Don't get me started, Dan o' flossie. What was your movie, Wayne's World from 1983?

God, he's mean. Mam Dany was there. Man, Danny. That's it. Senator John Kenny was clearly accurate. Now, as far as I understood it, the idea is to win the game.

Your words, not mine. But I saw people. missing shots and throwing the ball out of bounds getting paid millions of dollars. David's words, not mine. Now, what is traveling? Can you walk nine steps these days, I guess? When they call it a slam dunk, is it really a slam dunk? Your words, not mine.

You think that's where they got the term something's a slam dunk? keep talking you'll have a move with you it's hard because it feels like that was the

origin story people slamming the ball and a hoop I can't do him your words not you put on

Twitter here's the most non-secular one of the day Dean Martin from heaven went to the Knicks show

oh honey oh I'm telling you oh the basketball game oh and they had a little bit of Oh, I don't even know who won. Everybody loves somebody sometime.

I was singing pretty good. You know what the Spurs said? Last night was a kick in the head. Kicking the head. Ain't that a kick in the head. I hate that. Yeah. The Knicks win every time.

And they did the Spurs in the basketball players. They throw the ball around and he get a foul. You're charging. You can judge them when you put the elbow in the face and you break the clavicle and the different bones. And that's how you win the basketball game. Right, David Spade, did you ever make a basket in your life? You know who gets found a lot, Wimbignana. Wimpignana.

You can't defeat Wimponiana. He's eight and a half feet tall. He's Wimperniana. You know what they call him? David Speed? No. They call him the alien. He's like a predator.

I fought him in Preretta. I saw him in the locker room and I said, what are you? That's all he said. And finally, well, many people are upset by our sister. We need Reagan at the end. Many people are seeing things they don't like, scores and things and politics as usual. People fight and argue, but we have to always remember. We're the United States of America. Right. Excuse me. We're the United States of a, I beg your pardon. We're the United States.

It's farting? I think so. Hang on. This has been buzzing around. This has been buzzing around and here it is. If you want to pick me up, trust me. It helped me many times before. Now you can see my mouth move and the illusion is ruined. Goodbye. That was buzzing around, sponsored by FireR Energy. It couldn't have been anything else. The iconic red, white, and blue freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Mm-hmm. Spark a tasty flavor sensation with firework freeze.

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Bring it with SAP Grow. AI Cloud ERP for any size business. All right. We still get some stories in. Everyone's clamoring for our stories. Okay. Take. We have hot takes.

Five minutes. Five minutes we can do stories. Then I'm going to get in the car. Rapid fire. Yeah. Oh, this is the next. I think it's bloody. They make them take his spurs. This is it.

There's a million of these. Oh, God. It's unreal. That's a calm one. There's so many fights. It used to be like, hooray, remember our celebration?

Yeah, you shake hands with the people. Hey, good game, everybody, good game, let's hell up. I cannot relate.

You not like me team. me beat you up. If you like my team, me not beat you up. I mean, what is? Seinfeld used to be like, you're an adult cheering for laundry. It's like you have a jersey on. I like you. Yeah, I was watching a game once and Leno came in and got,

who's the head, the rent of the yellows? I mean, it is kind of fascinating how much you invest in it, you know. All right. That was a good one. That was a good one. Miles Garrett, L.A. takes the next five years. No, LA taxes. Oh, Miles Garrett came from the Brown.

They break down what he pays. Now, no one's feeling sorry for this guy, but it is a bit of a fucking, it's a bit of a nibble. It is a check. 68 million in federal tax right away. Four out of 177 million, 67 million. Okay.

That seems normal. That's national. Then 4.2 million to FICA. 23 million to California state. They have a really rough state tax. Whoa. 13.9. 5 million to the agent.

That's it? I don't get the 5 million. That's like a 2%. Well, you usually 10. We paid 10. 10 would be 17 million. By the way, if you get drafted and you're playing for now the Las Vegas Raiders, you don't pay that 23-5.

No state tax. That's a big reason people go to the Raiders and not here. You're after year? Luckily, the Rams are great. But his net income is 78 million out of 177. So he lost 99 million in the process. The rich don't pay the. fair share. He should not be allowed to keep $78 million. That's too much money for one human

being. He should eat. He should get two million dollars max. And the rest goes to the people who need the money. I'm Bernie Sanders. And you can go fuck yourself. That was a good Bernie. I think is. I know. I like Bernie. Because Bernie's been consistently a socialist the whole time. So he's consistently nuts the whole time. He's not joining the party because it's hip. Why, why is he a possibly a millionaire. He has to give it back. Well, like you said last week, what's his name? Tom Steyer went to a trillionaire thing as part of his speech. Soon, soon we will have trillionaires, but you're a billionaire. Oh, I get your point. Yeah.

Dennis Miller would say Tom Steyer, the guy spent $150 million, got lost, got third. I spent zero. I got fourth. Yeah, we would have both had the same outcome. I would have put down a singular rectangular rectangular greenback, a $1 bill. He puts in $200 billion and we're both in third place. Okay. None of us are going to the governor's house. All right.

He said, he goes, Reagan went against Mondale. When I went to bed, Reagan had 280 electoral votes. Mondale had three. Okay? That's the only three more than I had. I didn't even run. This guy spent 200 million bucks. I almost tied him.

It's a way to observe things. It feels so good about yourself. Yeah, that guy's get in the game. They lost, and I wasn't in the game, and I didn't lose. We're about the same kind of thing, I think. It's kind of some kind of weird sort of flying too close to the sun motif, all right? Landdale's going to show up on American Express ads. Hey, remember me?

A couple years ago, I ran for governor. I got stomped like a narc at a biker rally. With a name like that, you should start a shoe line. You should say hello to my brand new Mondales, you know. They've got side walls on them. Size 10 and a half, I'm assuming. Okay. I'm assuming.

Brian brand new Mondales is kind of funny. We've got to get Dennis back in because it's been too long. Yeah. Okay, next one. Then we'll wrap up, Dan, he's ticking clock. He's got to go. What's this stupid one? Okay.

Oh, oh, Google. Why are all these places that aren't sign? This is what drives me crazy. I don't even want a scientist to do this. Google's conducting one of the largest open-air biological experiments in history. Is this mosquitoes or what is it? Here, just play it. Should not be partaking and conducting one of the largest open-air biological experiments in U.S. history.

Because that's what this is. They do plan to release 64 million, actually. It's not 32 million like many outlets are claiming. You've counted up the numbers. mosquitoes with like that have been castrated. Mosquitoes? Both California and Florida. California, get out of here.

And yeah, these male mosquitoes, these male mosquitoes are affected with leukemia, bacteria. So they'll release them in the wild. What are they learning? The mosquito populations because their babies, they won't be. Oh, it's trying to suppress mosquitoes. something try to get them to blow

blanks right well we have a thing up here where our horses have to wear these kind of like masks and one of the horse doesn't like the mask but flies are attracted to like their eyes because it's sort of watery so gross so

I think there's a thing where you can get wasp that don't sting humans or animals but they'll just eradicate all the mosquito population will go elsewhere sure I'll do that, but don't add mosquitoes to the equation, especially if there are some experimental, biological virus. If you're going to do that, I want to see online or on regular television,

Google, we're releasing male mosquitoes to reduce the population, hundreds of thousands of them. We're Google. You know, make a, make a most of them. Are you tired of pregnant mosquitoes? Introducing, uh, we cut their. mosquito nuts off. Yeah. Good luck making a batches mosquito kids. Those days are over. We got you neutered, mosquitoes. Insectile dysfunction. I hope you had fun when you're getting late in mosquito world, but guess what? Those days are over. I'm from Google. So go thanks to Google. Guess what? This is just a fun fact. I may have said this before, but I found it fascinating. So Walt Disney goes to the swamps of Orlando to build Disney World.

And there's mosquitoes up to yin-yang. Who figured out the... How did they get rid of them? Yeah. How did they get rid of the mosquitoes? Freeze them and... No. No.

Mosquitoes will not lay eggs and cannot mate if they don't have standing water. So if you go to Disney World, all water is moving. There's no standing water. I like to hear that kind of shit. Isn't that cool? Just it always moves and then they go elsewhere, you know? This is my last fact because Heather asked earlier. I've heard at the Knicks, this is circling around to end up the whole show.

The front row is comped. So I don't think Taylor Swift is paying $30,000 a seat. Well, is it comped if you're famous? But what if you're just a regular wealthy guy? I think if you get a season ticket, it's not comp. Ben Stiller probably pays for the season. But if I go to a game, Lakers, I think I've been offered Knicks this year. If I'm in New York and it's the timing is right, I can get you, someone goes, I can get

you on there from, you can get courtside, two seats, just give us a heads up. They don't say, do you have 22? I heard it was $100,000 for this playoff game. Maybe if you're not. I heard the worst seat last night was $3,000. So way up in the raft. I thought, I heard the worst seat was $10,000. What are you reading?

I heard your worst seat is the one in your kitchen. I heard you have a permanent ban on going to Massachusetts Square Garden. I heard I take too much focus off the game because everyone's cheering for me. I heard that Chiquilo Neal once threw you the length of the court during halftime. I heard Keel O'Neill once picking up and swallowed me like Stuart Little accidentally. Well, I love anything that references Stuart Little, because I read that. anything that I heard. Fourth grade.

Yeah. I heard that's not even a real shirt. This is an AI. This is very shimmery. Yeah. It's all sure. It works. Okay, let's get Dana on the road.

Thank you for doing this, Dana. I know you really push some things around. You push your plan around. Not a big deal. I just wanted to be on the road 11 minutes from now driving. Good. Yeah. Well, we appreciate you coming.

You have a nice trip. And we'll see you guys next time. time. Bye fly. Bye flies. All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are.

Click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that goddamn button on your favorite podcast app. Smash it. Leave a review, a good one. Leave a five-star rating, nothing else.

And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe, Dana. What do you think? I'm going to tell you this right now. Now, believe me later. Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by Hold For It, Dana Carvey and David Spade.

Or David Spade and Dana Carvey, we don't write those stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox, with production support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent Production and Booking by Sophia Lepore.