Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Tim Dillion: It’s Hard To Be Rich In This Biz…

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

Dana and David are joined by the always unfiltered and outrageously funny Tim Dillon. They revisit Tim’s time working with David on Lights Out, dive into his experiences on Euphoria, Joker 2, and the upcoming Bus Boys before they get into his thoughts on Meghan Markle. From there, things take a turn—covering everything from the draft and politics to financial advice you definitely shouldn’t follow. Tim also reflects on how The Dana Carvey Show influenced his comedy, and makes the case that McDonald's might keep you alive into your hundreds. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects, Ontario at 1-866-531-22600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Where she was basically like, now this is what they call a saucer. You put your coffee cup on it so it doesn't spill all over your illegitimate children, you animals. I think people got a little turned off by that. The guy from before you called me, Sam Levinson called me over the summer and said,

there's this teen we want you to do where Hunter, your sugar daddy and you're paying Hunter Schaefer. and Hunter Schaefer has you on a leash and you're walking around the floor like a dog. They're going to have an army of morbidly obese, heavily medicated Disney adults, and that's just what we've got. That's what we've built in this country. That's our front line.

That's our front line. Just 48-year-olds, dozed with Prozac, dressed like toddlers, with Mickey Mouse backpacks running. Well, we had a real firecracker. Dana. You predicted it, and then we did it.

Tim Dillon. Oh, boy. Tim Dillon, who's such a funny podcast, such a hilarious dude, always has opinions. He was on Lights Out. We talked about that, which is this show. That's where I met him,

and then we made him have a little special segment on there, and he just couldn't give a shit. He makes fun of everybody, everything, both political sides. We talk about so many things, and he's a great riffaholic. Yeah, I mean, I really enjoy it. At a certain point, I was just like, okay, just feed him something,

and then he'll go on a rant. Kind of remind me of Dennis Miller and Rush Limbaugh had a baby or something. You know, it's like this high energy. And he never says, he never says, no, whatever you say to him, he starts running with it right away, and it's dripping sarcasm, but ultimately it's always just going for the laugh. It's always funny. Almost always offensive.

Always hilarious. Offensive and funny. And like you said, you said it well, he's got good word packages. Like to talk quickly on a subject we're just throwing him and then he puts it together in a nice little package. It's pretty smart. I mean, it's hard to do.

It is. Yeah, it was very, very fun to listen to him. And I'm saying, shit, I shouldn't because we're just getting caught up and like how funny it is to just make fun of everything. and to just say whatever comes to mind and be like it's all comedy but uh anyway here he is tim dillon uh one of our new favorites on here oh fuck me man so i'm the only guy hatless yeah how are we good morning tim i almost bought you i saw these big shades when i was on the road

at some store on the road and I was like these I should get these for Tim but you should have it would kill me to buy him something and be a good friend no I know it's it's it's good to hear about that you thought of it though it's the thought that's really the thought that counts that's right I think it's the most important thing instead of that I spent my money on zingers where were you I was just back in the uh Virginia run the coveted for the Virginia run yeah It's just like all these towns and then you go. I was actually, Dana, you'd be excited about this. Tim will be bored of fucking tears already.

Duke was playing in Norfolk the night I played. And then the next night, they were playing Yukon in that city in the building next to me. Did that hurt your ticket sales or what's the cat? No, it made him better. Someone fucking loves it. Spill over. Tim, he's like, can you go to 7-11 and grab a big gulp? I just pointed at someone I said, coffee, please.

This is early guys for me. This is 10. I would have done it later. I just thought, you're always up and at him. I'm just, I like the mornings to record. You know, Tim is a friend of my day. I'll give you a brief history. Saw him on lights out because Adam, he told him told me he's funny because I don't go

love Adam comedians. And then he came on. He's very funny. Said something very inflammatory, of course, immediately. And I was like, oh, we got a live white. here and remember that Tim yes I it was a it was a big moment I enjoyed that by the way I loved doing that show yeah that shows me too because he just comes on he knows a little about everything so you give me any subject he starts talking and then we we did it a few times and

then after that COVID hit no one's blaming Tim but no one's not blaming him of course and then we started having like dinners and hang out it was fun so So then he went off and did whatever. Well, the legacy is as follows, and there's probably more, right? So where was Tim in stardom or Nikki or Theo when you put him on Lights Out? And compared to where they are now? You know what's funny is Theo is a bit of a unicorn in the way that he handles all of showbiz decisions. And we were getting to be friends, but he said, I don't think I'd be good at Lights Out.

And then he came on maybe once, Heather, I think. He came on once. But it wasn't right for him. It's perfect for Tim. It's perfect for Nicky. And then we all got to be friends. And then Tim has a special called. What does it call on Netflix?

I'm your mother. I forget. I'm your mother. Yeah. It came out last April. I forget. Everything moves so quickly now. I do forget.

But yeah, it's on Netflix. And I love doing that show. We did a special little thing on Lights Out where I came in. Oh, that's right. Right. We had a little segment. You gave me a segment. This was like amazing.

I just moved to L.A. And I got like a little segment on Lights Out. It was a lot of fun. And we love Adam. Obviously, he's the best out of me. And I miss that show. I think there needs to be a show like that where you come in, you do quick, funny, topical stuff.

And then every week you got to write new stuff. Right. You know, that's a great thing. It's a good reason. And some of it's a little undercooked when you get out there. like my own stuff, but at least you're talking about things that are new and then sometimes you stumble into a bit. It's good. Well, one other important observation about that, because I did a few times too. Just the feng shui, no band, maybe 70 people, 80 people felt very intimate and

very good when you're out there. Like, it was close to you. Some studios are kind of distant, too much rasmataz. Anyway, Tim, comment. And then you'd be on the show with comedians you didn't really like and that was good too because you go these people we don't really like each other and we kind of you know say things about each other on social media subliminally of course but they're here and we got to make the best of it let's do a fun kind of topical joke about you know some woman who disappeared in the Midwest or whatever we were going on about you know whatever whatever the news of the day was dude by the way I have a question for Tim and tell them if you disagree when bad Bunny, which I know you have opinions about.

Sure. He sang at the Super Bowl. Get him out of here. No, I'm kidding. A lot of people don't remember. Bad Bunny sang at the Super Bowl. And at the halftime show, I thought, he's bringing out people. I thought what everyone thought. What if he brings Savannah Guthrie's mom out?

That would have been such a smart move. Huge. Huge. And he doesn't like clicks because it would have. And she's like, yo, yo, like, oh, my God, she's part of it. She's in on it. And that would have crushed. They wouldn't watch the rest of the game.

That's the time. type of joke on lights out the writers would say to you, I don't know if it's worth bringing on to VAT his mother. And then you'd have to talk it out with them. You'd go, I think it is worth it. You'll get it. The audience will get it. It's not worth it for me. It's worth it for you. Because the first time he came on, he goes, oh, and then we're going to commercially, he goes, oh, and quickly, when we come back, let's talk about Caitlin Jenner is a murderer. And we go, oh, all right, well, let's hear from our sponsor McDonald's. we'll be right back.

How many episodes were created of that show before? I know. What did it? You 150 and Tim did a lot of them. What was your job when you came and sat and talked to it? When I did that segment, I was giving some kind of advice. It was like a consultant. And I think you would hired me.

The gag was the bit was that you that lighted out had hired me as some type of like consultant or something. Yeah, like PR rep. Something was horrible idea. So the majority of it was finding a jacket that fit. and then so a woman would just come like a blackguard looking. Yeah, so a bellagored looking like a woman would come with one jacket and I did know. And then she'd go, okay, and then she'd go to the other costume woman.

They'd find another jacket. They'd discuss. They would talk. You'd see them talking in the hall, holding both jackets. But then we eventually got it in the can. And that's important to really. Yeah. But I heard them in the hall going, what's a funnier jacket?

I was worried about what's funny. Yeah. It's like, this one's not funny enough. I'm like, I think just get a hoodie and he'll be fine. Yeah. We need things like that back, you know? And I feel bad. Savannah Guthrie, by the way, now going back to work.

Yeah. Who's happy by that Hoda? That's a tough one. Everybody needs money, I guess. If I were her, I would take a sabbatical. But it is it, it's tough. I guess she feels better going back to the job. I would go back because I would, is too much thinking in your day of just being alone.

Like for her to go on the news and just be here on the police, I can't even imagine that scenario. So what you think it's a little traumatizing for her to have to go breaking news every five seconds and it's never what she wants it to be. Yes. You know what I mean? It does seem a little crazy. Oh, on the today show she has to. And we have breaking news. And everybody goes, what?

And then she goes, Chapel Rhone punched a kid or something. Every, it's not what it wants it to be. No, it's never like mommy's home. It's never that. It's always, you know. Well, how, and how do they get away with it? I mean, we agree she was abducted, but with the cameras and forensic, was it Keystone cops?

I mean, Barney Fife was in charge of the investigation or what? Anyway, it seems like the family is involved in some sort. I haven't followed it. We're going to go to a commercial. All right. Jim Dylan has been our guest. Hey Ontario, come on down to BetmGM Casino and see what our newest exclusive

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available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows. I want your opinion on this. Yeah. Because Megan Markle used to be, we talked about it lights out, and she was a lovely young lady. She was on suits, and then she skyrocketed to fame. But I always thought when suits came back, things were a little iffy in the, are they the Duke and Duchess anymore? Are they, how much full they have? I thought she should have joined suits and been an actress again.

and made big money. For sure. Because she likes acting, right? Do you think she should go with that again? He's past. Well, you're talking about suits LA when that came back? Yeah, is that it? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that someone from Suites, I'm not kidding. Like one of the showrunners, like, we'd like you to do a small part in this. We can't really pay you. And the script is bad. I mean, literally, I have the message, nigg, we can't really pay you,

and the script is not good and the part is not big. And I said, well, They're shooting LA. Yeah. Thank you for thinking of me. I think Megan will eventually find her way into some type of talk show. Yeah. Because she's failed at the Martha Stewart route,

which she was slinging jam in Target. She wanted to have a lifestyle brand. Yes. Jam was an interesting choice. Yes. Well. It's probably an uncrowded market. Other than Welch's,

I can't think of too many. Yeah, there's right. She's definitely, she needs to adjust her strategy, but I could also see her going back to the UK. Oh, wow. Going back to the UK and saying, let's give it another go. Wow. That's really like crashing the park. I think they do have to go back and stir the brand again because that's the power is to give it.

You need a jump start. Yeah. Yeah, she's got to do something. I think we're all a little tired of her shtick here. I don't think it worked as well as she thought would. I think she was going to come back. Her idea was to come back to America and say, listen, the British are really racist,

but they do know a lot about dinner parties. And I've learned that. So I'm here to tell you how to live like a human being and what fork to use, you pig, you American pig. I think it's felt a little condescending. because, you know, she had that show on Netflix where she was basically like, now this is what they call a saucer. You put your coffee cup on it so it doesn't spill all over your illegitimate children,

you animals. I think people got a little turned off by that. I like when they go, Prince Harry is marrying a superstar celebrity from America. I'm like, she's on suits. I mean, I don't know what they think it is over there. I go, she's not even the biggest star on suits. But the biggest stars in the UK, many of them work at grocery stores.

Like it's a whole different thing. Benedict Cumberbats. Yeah, like truly, truly some of the top stars over there. It's not like America where they live in mansions and everything like that. You know, many of them just work menial jobs, you know, sort of a cobbler or something, you know. Old school job. Yeah, truly. Yeah.

Daniel Day Lewis. He's a cobbler. Yeah. They don't have it going on. I'm not saying. I'm saying no one. only fans for her for now because that's not the move right now no it's not she's got to do something classy yeah classy first and then uh i heard on euphoria sydney they're uphoria sydney

they're upping the an ante with sidney sweeney she's going to be an only fans model really in the show which is kind of smart the guy from euphoria called me sam levinson called me over the summer and said there's a scene we want you to do we're hunter your sugar daddy and you're paying hunter shaffer and Hunter Schaefer has you on a leash and you're walking around the floor like a dog and I go he goes but it's only like four lines I go I need 12 long I'm not flying to California for four lines I said I will absolutely do it for like 10 or 12 lines because it's like four lines because it's like two lines at a dinner and then immediately you're on the leash I go I don't I need eight lines and lines before I'm on the leash I'm I'm you know what I mean like well he says um is our Arf, Arf, two lines or one? I mean, it's literally a call. He goes, I totally understand if you don't want to do it. Don't worry about it because it's not a lot of lines.

He goes, it's two lines you're on a leash. And I go, eight lines, ten lines, and then I'm on a leash, fine. Right. One of those. One of those retractable. Someone putting a leash on me, you know, is most of the day. I like that you're in your leash. Right.

Saying hi to everyone. Hey, Zendaya. Oh, 100%. They wouldn't even be on set. I asked, I said, can I at least get a photo with them? He goes, they won't be on that. He goes, we're not letting you near Zendaya and Jacob Allorty. We're putting a leash on you.

You're going to be in some type of segregated area like you have a disease. Like it's the Spanish flu and you're going to be on a leash. Hunter Schaefer is going to poke you with a stick and then you're going to get SAG health care. Maybe taser or nuts and then that's a wrap. That's a wrap. Who is your agent? because I'm not hearing a lot of great offers. No.

Candace Owens is right. Candace Collins has signed me recently. No, I have a great age. I have the biggest agency. What are they going to do? They're homeless, half of them now.

I mean, what are they, you know? Are they? They're getting bought by private equity companies and counting their money. Some of them are. Some of them are in real trouble.

That's right. I will say that I hate to admit that Tim Dillon is very funny as an actor. when he did Bus Boys. And then I think it would help people see you in that because it's right. I'll go to where can they get tickets to it? Oh, to Bus Boys. Yeah.

Do we have a busboys movie. Yeah, go get tickets because we have one of the funniest scenes, I think. We have a pretty scene. Me and trailer. Yeah. We have a really funny scene. That seems longer and we're going to put out more footage because we laughed the whole time. We laughed the whole time.

And I was nervous because I didn't know if I was going to remember lines and I was I was pretty good for someone who doesn't you know I'm not doing this all I will finish the sentence he's very good and he was very I'm not saying shockingly professional but yeah comedians who cancel spots every night at the end I'm like I don't know what I'm getting I'm not saying right is that but I'm saying right nobody knows and Theo's never done it and so people might think hey like Nate Diaz was a little Lucy Goosey with the schedule But you distracted me and Bobby even came to sets. Yes, Bobby Lee, the biggest gamble.

And he was on time, put that band-aid around his head. I mean, I was shocked. And Tim would come, and it would be one of those things where one time I got mad because I said, are you still here? And I think we just have to do a cutaway or something. So he was always sitting his trailer, perfectly behaved, knew his lines. And then one time when you had a long list, he had to walk down the line of busboys and kind of shit on us all.

I said, fuck, this is one of those days where I go, I wouldn't want this many lines. And he had them all memorized, boom, boom. So I was very impressed.

Who cares about impressing me? But I was just glad that he came and took it seriously. Well, I appreciate that. I took it seriously. And I surprised myself with my ability to remember the lines, because it is difficult. That's the hardest part.

The hardest part really is to remember. because you will think you have them down, and then you will go on set, and then it's, and I've screwed movies up, you know, Joker 2. Famously, I couldn't remember the lines. And Todd Phillips got really mad at me,

and it's not his fault. It's my fault because I couldn't remember the line. Now, some of the directions was confusing, whatever, but that's not mine. What am I? You know what I mean? But it was difficult. I mean, the critics have thoughts on it.

It doesn't matter. But it was hard for me to, do it and I didn't have the lines down in Joker and I only had like six lines in Joker but I kept putting them in the wrong because it's you know Joaquin Phoenix and brand and it's really intimidating and it was really hard I was coming off that experience which was a trauma traumatic you know what that was like Mark Marin in the first one like he had De Niro and Joaquin yeah and he had to be a normal it's very hard all that just that is scary just doing them in your trailer even if you run with someone you walk on set and then the real people are in front of you you can blank because you're

like this isn't what i how i picture my head because i i was just doing it like this now there's too much in my head i'm just saying it's well better looking at jessica michel singleton on set you know as opposed to wakene phaena i felt more yeah i felt less well we were more relaxed set for sure it was more fun and we would say do it a million times and say whatever you want and we all I like when you go to the one guy, frankly, you're scaring me. I love it. My favorite line is, I don't even know what you're talking about. I have a question.

I don't even know what you're talking about. It's an old school like smoke a joint and go to the movie theater. But don't try. Obviously, I get an Uber. Listen, a lot of people comparing it to Inception and some Christopher Nolan films. Well, it is, I think it's very, it has a lot of similarities to that. I'm getting Dunkirk vibes. I don't know why. Yeah.

Yeah. Dana liked the trailer, but we're making him go see it at the movies. Well, it felt like a 90s comedy. And I think the world right now, oh, I'm a hot take. It's a little discombobulated right now. So then this really goofy, silly movie with physical comedy and you guys, I don't know, it seems like a good relief from the world. My hope is that it ends the Iran War because people just start going out and think that.

That's what everyone's banking on. This is probably the direction it goes, if you want my guess. Well, I did have a question for you. This is a non-sequitur. But what would it take financially? Real offer to play Carg Island. Oh, for me? Yeah, to play Carg Island.

My agent would absolutely suggest it, by the way. My agent is a disgusting money-grubbing monster. And I love him and he's good, but he would absolutely suggest Cargoyle. island and he would say what he says about everything he'd go it's actually an easy flight that's what he said i've heard that yeah it's an easy flight it's new york to rec yvac and then recivek to dubai right in there you land on an aircraft carrier it's an amphibious assault but we get you on it no it's a easy fight promote your name on bombs when they drop they that's a good it's an easy flight he goes it's the amphitheater's big he goes it's 3,000 but i'm not worried about it i'm not

It was a certain size and then Trump made it actually bigger. I'm not worried about it. It's an easy flight. They're hungry for comedy. You've never been there. You've starved the market. So now that you're there, people really show up. Right.

When I say it's six flights and at 17 hours, my guy goes, and then you're there. And then you're right. What a great line they all have. And then you're there. And then you're home. I'm like, okay. Then it's fun. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, hopefully Busboys has some influence on helping end the war because maybe everyone wants it to be over with so they can focus on it. Well, I think so. I think we're all ready for silliness and fun and I think people need to stop with the killing and the screaming. Yeah. And the rage. Go to Bus Boys and not be angry for 90 minutes. 100%.

Then be angry right after again. And right before. Yes. But not when Spade and Dillon are on the screen doing their magic. That's when you just let it go. That's when you let it be. So that'll be fun. And I have a couple more things for you that, you know, I know you're very busy.

But shouldn't we say where they get tickets? Isn't the big, you guys got to get them in advance. Well, what we're doing is we're adding theaters this week. So what happens is if the theaters start to fill up Regal or Cynemark, there's a new one, Markins. Arizona they want to add. So that helps. So they start filling up they add more. That helps. So where do they go? Just ring along. That's it. Busboy's movie and then you go to busboy movie.com and then it'll say put in your zip code and then it says here's the theater's by you. All right.

But I have a story from this weekend day. I'm going to buy a ticket. You guys talk about yourself. I'm just goodbye. Do you know your zip code? Ask Paul. All right. Okay. Tim. So I'm in the I'm in the airport and this dude comes up and he goes, hey, I was at your show tonight, but my flight's an hour and a half late. So I'm sort of of just fielding. It's like Comic-Con. So I'm just sitting with people taking a photo and then they tell someone and they come over. And so the one guy goes, hey, very nice guy. Looks like Bert Kreiser. And he goes, hey, most of my fans do. And he goes, hey, I saw your show last night. He goes, blah, blah, I'm in pain. I've been in a car accident on our motorcycle and I'm hurt. And I go, okay, cool. Let's take a quick pick. And then he goes, yeah, it's pretty bad. But I sort of skimmed over it. But then he goes, yeah, I was in the hospital for about six months.

And I go, okay. And then he goes, I've had, it was worse than Taylor Swift. No, not Taylor Swift. I was Lindsay Vaughn. He goes, you see the picture of Lindsay Vaughn? I said, oh, yeah, her leg had all that scaffolding on. And I said, that looked bad. He goes, nothing.

That was nothing. And I go, well, I'll let her know. And then he said, so it's, I have all these things on me. And he goes, anyway, long story short, he goes, I think, he goes, I almost died. And you know what? I remember going under and I felt I started playing the last Kill Tony shows I saw in my head

and I go God damn is this it when you go you're reliving Kill Tony shows I kind of think a draft isn't the worst idea Oh we're gonna ask you know what I mean Like maybe let's get peep Maybe get him to Karg Island

I don't know how bad of an idea it is I get that guy Get him on an aircraft carrier now. I mean, I said if this is the end and I'm thinking of old Kiltan, which I love Kiltone, but I don't think that's the first thing that's coming to mind. But anyway, he goes, I'm going to switch my flight and come see you again tonight. Oh, that's great. I'm going to get you in. I got him in.

And he did show up. So nice enough guy. Of course, I make fun of him. But nice enough guy. And yes, is there a draft and are you going? Well, I don't know if there will be a draft. I think there are certain people that want a draft. And it would be fun to have a draft because if you really want to lose a war, send Americans.

I mean, truly, like, in an embarrassing way. And because there's two problems, there's cowardice, sure, but then there's also we have a lot of weight problems. in the country. And fat cowards is the worst thing in the world. So if Americans on their televisions watch fat people run away from battle, they will never be able to recover from that. And the image of the country will never be able to recover from that. Watching fat people run away from a battle will be the end of America.

Just the visual of that. The visual of fat people running away from a battle will be the end of America visually. And it's maybe how it should end, but that'll be the visual end of America. Well, now in boot camp, if the sergeant gets mad, he goes, drop and give me two. Yeah. Three crutches, all right? It's just the whole army being shot up with OZempic and going, I can't deploy on my shot day. Yeah.

My muscles are being eroded. I have to wait three or four days. I can't, on the day of my shot, I can't. do heavy combat. I have ADD. Yeah, that's tough. And there's no TikTok out there on the battlefield. I don't think. There should be. But they would probably drop the weight requirement, drop every, drop everything. Well, you're going to have to just basically say, anybody, they're going to have an army of morbidly obese, heavily medicated Disney adults. And that's just what we've got. That's what we've built in this country. That's our front line.

That's our front line. Just 48-year-olds, dozed with Prozac, dressed like toddlers with Mickey Mouse backpacks, running as the Iranians mow us down. Like, I mean, one by one, just 300-pounders going down dressed in Disney onesies. Yeah, they say there's a new Iranian Disneyland to get them everyone over there. That's right. Oh, boy.

Okay, so that draft might not be a bad idea now that I do it. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds interesting. Okay. How about the movie industry? Is it coming back? I got in trouble because I said, I wasn't really mad at Gavin Newsom and Cameron, but I was

just saying, could we make it a slightly more of a priority? I don't know what we're spending the money on that's flowing in because it's a lot flowing in, but it goes out so quickly, I want to sort of reserve a little piece of the pie to like focus like let's try to get this back that's all yeah it's um they don't you know the thing about Gavin Newsom and Karen Best they they seem to think everything's kind of going well so it's very hard the first that's the issue it's very with someone thinks things are going well it's very hard to make them under like LA lost a million people in the last year it's the biggest population decline of any metropolitan area of comparable size, you know, I mean,

in the, in the entire country, and there are very few. There's like none. L.A. lost more people than anything else because jobs aren't here. And they're shooting everything everywhere else. They're shooting it. So it was cool that you shot bus boys in L.A. Yeah. So it can be done. It didn't seem to change the landscape enough. To move it. Yeah. But it was nice to do it there. I mean, we said, let's just do it here. That's a tiny, like, hey, at least for awareness. But everyone says to me, why don't just move out of L.A.? And I'm like, well, moving is hard.

And I don't know if I'm going to find a yardhouse nearby or a church. Yeah. Like, when I saw you in Austin originally, you would, you were one of the first people, maybe. I moved for about seven months. Yeah. And then you broke the news to Adam. You get the backstage that you didn't love it anymore. And you were going to go.

Well, listen, there's a lot of things I like about Austin. I like going out to dinner and getting sick. You know what I mean? Like, I don't need to eat food that was got that day. You know, I'm not one of those guys. I like how brown it is. I like how you, you know, the air feels like you're smoking all the time. It's a great city.

And I like it. It's three or four blocks. It's easy. You can navigate it. I like it. I like that everyone's a communist, but also weirdly Hitler. Like that they've accomplished an interesting political thing. You're like, you're a racist.

Nazi communist. It's amazing. So it's it is heaven on earth. I found myself drawn back to California, unfortunately, probably till the end. And that's just what it is. Well, did you like, yeah. Did you miss the 14.2 state tax and a party view is like, I like writing that check. Well, here's a hard part. Here's a good thing about Texas. You get to Austin and you do have, your accountant says to at the end of the year, you have a lot more money. So then you go, wow, you look at all this money and you call your friends, you got a lot of money. So you go down to Miss Vicki's house of brisket. And I mean, you start buying meat by the pound and then you eat it.

And then in your car, you begin to sweat and feel ill and you pull over and then you go to sleep. And you go money well spent. Well, you get enough money where you go, I can move back to California. Yeah, that's right. That's right. As soon as I had those savings, I said, I got to get out of here. And God bless everyone. Obviously, Austin's a great city.

And everything I've got about it is. You got the mothership. Well, the mother ship's great. Yeah. I can see why comics want to go there. And it's good because a lot of cities, people say you should move. I go, well, aside from maybe Austin or New York, there's not a lot of places to have a lot of companies. Well, I like it because it's safe, you know.

And I know people might say, you know, the 14 people were shot last week on that one block. But I'll tell you this. I feel safe there. Even though I hear gunshots a lot, I still feel safe knowing that the people that are shooting me, someone may shoot them. That feels good to me. That is. It is good. It's just the way I feel.

Yeah. So where do you live now? Yeah. I live in Dubai. I live in Dubai right now. Right now and from Dubai. Right now I'm broadcasting from Dubai. And I'm incorporated.

My business is in Dubai. I and Qatar, my bank account is in Qatar. I'm a Qatari National at the moment. And I'm just kind of hopping around the Gulf States to see which one feels the best. Do the drones coming in, you know, with a small, maybe 115 pound bomb, do they bother you or you just...

They don't bother me. I like to look at them on my walk, and it's just a natural progression of the way things are, you know? You're going to see a drone in the sky. You can't freak out. It may not. When drones aren't a big story anymore. It's just like how crazy is the world when the Toronto, they're like, I saw a huge UFO mothership yesterday.

They're like, yeah, I know. And also the AI kind of blurs it. It's just hard to trying to get aliens going like every like three weeks, the government comes out and they tell people to go, by the way, there's aliens. And then some like mother is like, hey, why is chicken $96? Yeah. My children are starving. And they go, what about alien life? She goes, yeah, and feed my family.

Aliens don't eat. We have to eat down here. Right. Eat and gas and all the problems. Yeah. What is the war of attrition when the. They shoot a $10,000 drone at us and we shoot it down with a $3 million missile. This seems like a weird, like maybe we should change that tactic.

Unless you're making those missiles because that seems like a good gig. That's good biz. The defense industry is up 40% in the stock market. They're doing good. You got to hand it to them, you know, consistency quality. Is there always has to be a war because Ukraine was the hot. war and then it's sort of still going on and it just doesn't have enough heat you know what it is ukraine war's boring you're kind of like oh it's still there but what is it really and it's doesn't you know

you're not it's not getting a season three it is not i ran is hot it's new it's young it's sexy it's sexy it's it's you know it's snackable content it's snackable you can enjoy little bits and you know check in and check out. It plays very well on social. It's very brand aligned. I mean, he's important right now. It's protestable. Protestable.

It has a live component, which is these protests. A live component. It's huge. It's very easy with merch. It's smart. It's sharp. It's young.

It's now. It's hip. We need it. We need it. We can say we just need it. It's fresh. We're all talking about the dress. It's just, it's really important for us to do these things.

Yeah. There's a lot of protests and I sort of have to look closely at the screen and go, what is this one? Yeah. It can change weekly. But people are mad. Yeah. The Iran war to me is just about aligning with brands that support our core values. Yeah.

Which are. Palantir, Raytheon, general dynamics, you know. Palanty. But Netanyahu, people that are just, they support our core values and we're all rowing in the same direction. As my agent would say, let's row in the same direction on this. She says it once a week. Really? Yeah.

I do like that. I go in the same direction on this. Mine says, you know, the landscape has changed. Yeah. What we're going to do here is I talk to Netflix before we get on the Zoom call. Yeah. I set the table. So we're all set.

Right. And then you come in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And my manager is great because he, I'll talk to him and I'll call him. I go, hey, how are you? And he goes, well, I'm looking at a horse farm right now.

And I say, oh, that's good. That's good. And he goes, five acres. Yeah, he's going for you. Yeah, he's going good. Right. Yeah. So God bless, you know, we wish all of them well.

I get from my age and a lot. It's rough out there for everybody. I don't know. Is that a positive thing to say to a client? It's a great thing to say. No, he says, Dana, I heard. something you did, where's your new address to bill you for the thing we are unaware of? Could I mention a Mickey Rooney insert that's at this topical to this?

Mickey Rooney, the crazy guy that I did a sitcom with, he was number one star in the world, then went broke. He called up his manager and says, Mickey Rooney, I'm broke. And the manager said, how can you be broke? I have a yacht named after you. Right. Quote unquote. Yeah. Some things never change. The money's in agenting and managing out. That's where it is. Still 10% for each still. Yes. And the realtors are getting a ship kicked out of them for five percent. Business manager, you get five, they give, you know, five percent to them depending on lawyer. Then the lawyer's there. It's hard to be rich in this biz. Tim, are you kind of business savvy in a sense? I mean, would do people come up to

you for advice, like what to do, where to put their money at all? Dana, interesting point. No one's ever come to me for advice on any issue in my life, but I've only been on earth 41 years. Interesting point. No one's ever come to me instead. Exactly, oh, what is your advice on said subject?

What do you think? We've given a lot of really good takes on the world of global politics. Sure, but no one, no one really comes to the Irish for financial wisdom. Were you doing mortgages? What did you do before I met you? I was doing subprime loans, which was we were giving homes to people that could not afford them. Oh, yeah. Which, by the way, is actually nice and great.

Right. And I gave one to myself and I couldn't afford that. And I lost my house. Let's look at a clip. So you're all cash. You're all cash. Well, no, I'm financed now. I believe in debt.

I believe debt is what makes you free. I believe you should finance everything you can. I think paying for things is stupid. I think, you know, you should be in an amount of debt that scares you out of bed every morning to work. You should be in a frightening amount of debt. I think children should have credit cards, eight, nine years old. I think the debtor economy is the only thing that binds us together as Americans and you should have so much debt that it makes you physically sick.

a nursery school kid should have an iPhone. Yes. Right. And an Amex car. 100%. Otherwise, what are we doing? What are we doing here? If you're not in a paralyzing amount of debt,

what is going to get you up every day to go sit in that guy go office and, you know, talk to people that just got rear-ended? All life is in the end of the day is, hey, you want to go over there for a while? Yeah, okay. After that, you want to go there? Yeah. Where'd you go? I went over there and then I'm coming back here.

That's it. That's right. And then you post it. Yeah. You know, there's a little Joe Biden there for a second. Little Joe Biden came out. That's right. I'm not getting around.

Come on. He's still alive. How great is that? Are you sure? You're alive. Well, it seems to be. No, he seems to be doing pretty well. That's a hard.

I saw him at the yard house. Yeah. Was he having an onion ring tower? I love that you like yard house. I love that I plugged it twice. You plug the yard house now twice. Yard House is really one of the most American places you can go. The menu makes no sense.

There's no theme to the menu. It'll be like, would you like garlic noodles, the onion ring tower, or spicy tuna? And you go, we're all. What is Jeff Pad Thai? They're like, yep, it'll be in two minutes. And how about a pizza? You know, you know, what is the theme here other than giving up? When Westchaff first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a.

bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. What's your take on how Trump has his energy at 80 with purple legs and purple hands and is out there just yelling? My mother said to me once, this is true.

She was, of course, a morbidly obese schizophrenic who died in a public institution. But she said to me near the end of her life, I mean, just facts. She said to me near the end of her life, McDonald's is healthy. It was one of the last things she said. It was one of the last pieces of wisdom my mother said before she died. And she said to me, she was McDonald's is actually healthy. And they're the sponsor of the Olympics. She said that to me.

They did sponsor the Olympics. So that is something that I think people in my mother and Trump's generation believe that McDonald's is healthy. And I think if you believe something, it's kind of true. This is what Trump has kind of exposed. No, I think I talk to this mind-body doctor, you know, and he's like, if you're really sad having that beer, it's going to hurt you. Or if you're really sad having McDonald's. So there is some theory that if you're happy what you're consuming, it's actually good for you. You have to not buy into, Trump doesn't seem to buy into the idea that McDonald's is bad for you.

He and exercise is good for you. Like he doesn't like to move too much because he thinks body only has so many movements. He's on his own path, but it's worked. It's worked. He says you have only so many heartbeat. So why waste them, you know, all that stuff? So anyway, I mean, it's what he believes and what he believes has become real for him. Yeah.

And it just endorphinizes his body in a way, you know. It's funny to go from Biden who was sort of barely moving. And then you get Trump who's the exact opposite. Two older people. One was very stiff and one was out. One's not out there enough, I thought. He wasn't giving enough to the press and enough. conferences. And then there's Trump who's out too much almost. He's on the plane talking. He's

in the helicopter. He's yelling at his lines. He loves it. I mean, it's not a chore for him. I think he gets in that podium and he takes question. The energy that he puts out, still is kind of unexplainable, the amount of it. I don't know. He likes he's having fun. That's so much of life is, are you having fun? And I think he's having fun. Yeah. And so then you you don't drain energy you're just sort of yeah i also don't think he's kept up at night by decisions i think he goes we're doing this and then we're going to do that i don't think he's agonizing over the decisions i think he goes we're doing this this seems like a good idea and then if it's not we'll do something else right right everyone else gets worried but he's like

no this is here's the plan he loves his ballroom i think at a certain age you got to have a thing you love he loves his ballroom yeah they're building a nice ballroom the military is building an underground bunker under it which is nice for when there are and this is per trump when there were drone attacks at the ballroom which he imagines he'll be uh his gas during events go into the bunker of course during an event we'll say ladies and gentlemen please proceed we have ushers that will usher you into the safe zone and they'll take all these Palm beach people down to the bunker while the white house is being droned by some foreign power. And then they go, well, the drone thread has been eliminated.

And everyone will clap and then they'll go right back up and grab their drag. And the band is back on stage. The band's back on. So I think he's preparing us for our next stage. But they'll get peptide infusions on the way back up. Oh, you're going to get shot up with everything. You'll want. You're going to have stem cells in the neck.

And that's what it's going to be. And then outside, it's just going to be plumes of black. smoke and people screaming. But in the ballroom, it's going to be martinis and like a jazz band. And I think that's cool. Totally. I mean, actually, they do send Trump a montage of, they call it things blowing up. No joke.

And it's like 10 minutes of just some of a video of our airstrikes. Yeah. He likes it. It feels, it's fun for him. It's like during Iraq war, my grandparents would watch the night vision. You know, back then you didn't have the technology, but you had the green night vision and you'd see the missiles fly into the things and they would sit there in their Long Island house and they would eat meatloaf and they would nod at the TV and they would look at each other

and go, this is pretty damn cool. That was the first televised war live in real time. That's right. Was that Gulf War? Yep. Breaking news and all that. And then the OGA trial was just like that was must see TV. That was the first time I'd ever actually watch cable news that much.

Mm-hmm. That's the show. Me and my dad would watch the Dana Carvey show. That was in what, 1990? Really? Seven or eight? Yeah, I don't know. Every episode of that.

There was an episode of that where you guys parodied the Republican primary. I don't know if you remember this. Yes. You parodied the Republican primary. And I think you were making fun. I think it was like Phil Graham and Steve and all these guys. And one of the bits was that, it goes back a long time, but one of the bits was that Phil Graham or,

one of these guys had lost the election in their own house, like their family had voted. And he had lost the election in his own house, and he wouldn't accept it. He wanted to re-hound. But I remember that, watching that every episode with my dad and loving it. He doesn't speak to me anymore because I called his wife a name on Pierce Morgan.

But I do remember the good times of watching the Dana Carby show. In the 90s, it was one of the best shows. So thank you for that. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Tim watching. Thank you for saying that.

That's very high praise from you. Very high praise. Yeah. Well, Tim, we won't keep you forever, but anything left for this gentleman, Dana. This is one of my favorite podcasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm really in awe of how you can riff and how you stack these word packages. It's a skill set.

Your reputation, it's not fake news. It's like live to really be here with you doing that. And we've had dinner a couple times, but it's pretty impressive. I just got to say. Well, I love both you guys. It's a literal honor to be here. I hope people go see busboys. Go get the ticket.

We'll have a link. There'll be a link at some point. And Tim on the road, we'll be on the road. And also on Netflix special is always funny. His own podcast. Yeah, you're wondering on your podcast. Tim Dillon, if you want to see it on board, if it's on Saturday morning. Yeah, his podcast is this shit, always I look at the clips, always come.

Well, thanks. podcast is like, okay, Rogan, I go to a, Tim. Yeah. You don't go very far down. You see Tim. It's wild. We appreciate everybody who's out there listening. You guys having me on is amazing.

And go see the movie. It's going to be a lot of fun. All right. Have a good, too. Have a good day. Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us review, five-star rating,

and maybe you can share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman,

and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Scho. Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com.

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