Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - We tried to go LIVE on YouTube to Talk Oscars

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

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I should have had my noise makers, Dana. Hey, man, you're live, and where's your noise maker? Yeah, you know what? Where are they upstairs? In your office? Do you see any of them? We're on in 22, 21. We're live right now, fool.

No, we're not, are we? Yeah, we are. All this is... This has gone out. I thought he's going backwards. Literally. Putin is listening to this. They don't even know

their live. Vratokisipishi Spade is all in black again. Spade's looking like a disaster. We went out late. I went to one of those Oscar parties and not much to report, but I did see a few people from the Oscars. It's really like the name drop Olympics,

so I will maybe spare people because it's literally just a party with everyone comes over from that. Well, what's your, you got a hot, hot take? I mean, we promised a hot tag. It was in the byline. I went. So on the week, well, I didn't, I just went to Guy series party. That's probably the best one. And it's a little late. So it's a little desperate and thirsty to go because it's late. But I went over there. I have my hair, blow it dried. Did it look as good as it does now? It looked a little slicker. This is me sleeping on my face for nine hours out of me.

What? Well, but I saw a lot of people, Jacob and Lordy. Who? Oh, the Frankenstein guy and also the

Weathering Heights guy. Talk about range. Rosie's favorite, the hottest guy in the world. And he was super tall, so he had that covered. What does this one do? Yeah, big stars, big star alert.

Uh-oh, do yours. All right. People don't know how high-fi this is. Oh, that's someone if you don't like them, if they're not a big start. Well, this is more like if, say, the start of our live podcast, it's global right now. If it ever starts, yeah. Maybe this is my review of the start. I know.

So far, we've lost one million viewers. Because of our tepid takes, we promise tepid takes on the... I've got hot takes. Here's a hot take. Shit, yeah, okay. It's so in vogue for women and the pressure on women to be so slender that a lot of women's bodies were so slender that their heads looked gigantic. Oh, lollipop disease. Lollipop disease, yeah.

Because they get a little of that. Yeah. Well, why do they have to show skin and have their panties on and dresses falling off? And the men are just in a tuxedo from 1972. I thought the feminist movement accomplished something. It's celebrating bodies, Dana. You don't get it. No, to each his own, I'm just saying, I'm just saying.

I mean, you didn't see Conan in, you know, with this low-cut thing. I would like to see him in a rhinestone thong. That was sort of on my wish list last night. How did you know, how did you hear about the rhinestone thong? Because that rumor does about Conan. Because he wears him in regular life? Well, I'm not going to co-sign that. No, listen to this.

So I thought, I'll tell you this, I thought Emma Stone looked great, and I thought her dress I just read today, it took 800 hours, Heather. I mean, are these fake numbers, 800? Who makes that number of? It just sounds like, she looked gorgeous. She looks great. She always looks great. That's her thing.

And she's married to an S&O guy, borderline tie-in. Right. He was, right. What part of Sinal was he? I think he's a writer. I think he's a producer. Oh, okay. Well, that's a power couple.

Anyway, they were front row and center. Were they, could they see, could they see Timothy Shalameh? I know. Shamillam and Ding Dong, who I was about to say, my first outtake is he's starting to look like a lordy. Those two guys have a similar look. Well, once you go kind of Beatles 63 and kind of curly forward here. Oh, well, yeah, a little bit, a little bit, yeah. Split screen ruins it.

Um, little mustache, messy kind of hair, moppy topy. A shallomadee and a Jorday, what's his last name? Jordy. Lordy, I think. Oh, Lordy? Yeah, that's what every girl says. That's what I say when I see him. That will get old if it hasn't already.

You owe me. But a Salome stepped in shit, remember it was kind of a blown out of proportion story about ballet. No one cares about opera and ballet. I think that was he, but he was talking to Matthew McConaughey. It was kind of like pulling out those quotes, you know. I mean, rad, rad, rad, rad. Yeah, I think just trying to be funny and shit. Like, who cares?

But it did sort of blow up because it is a rude thing to say. But the funniest part, I didn't know Misty Copeland from the ballet was there last night. I thought it would be fist of cuffs. I thought she would throw down. That would have made it a little more interesting. Yeah, you need fist fights in general mayhem to kind of trend. Okay, someone has said that Delroy Lindo was robbed. I do really like that guy.

Was that what for best supporting actor for sinners? Yeah, I do like that guy. Who did win it? What, I got a photographic memory? What was it supporting? That might have been Sean Penn. Sean Penn also. This person says Sean Penn doesn't deserve it.

John Penn was at Shea J in Santa Monica. Where was Sean Penn? Smoking. New York Times says he was in Ukraine. Fuck. He's on that Southwest flight again? God damn, that's a hike. I don't think of a Southwest, but he was, you know,

I mean, he could have been right next to Timothy Shalame. He could have hung out with like Justin Bieber. I mean, he could have set a load to Delroy Lindo. Instead, he's in Kiev. have so he's the coolest he wins dude maybe he got tired of being called a burnt carrot or whatever they called him nicky nicky went into him yeah he's got that white hair now and he's just like this in the back but he's always like i hope i don't win i'm angry at the awards i'm shouldn't be here yeah and just someone who just has apparently no vanity like he's hey sean

do you want to put some sunscreen on uh i'm good you know it's like he's the coolest because he's the coolest because he doesn't care. I do sort of envy that cool shit they have. Benicio's kind of like that too. He doesn't give a fat fuck. They don't give a fuck about these awards shows. But what's happening in Ukraine now? Is there a new Dave and Buster's opening?

What's going on over there? Because it feels like I don't see any Ukraine pins. I'm not in the know of what the latest is. Well, it's a little bit off the headlines. There's been another conflict nearby. And, you know, so you've heard. Yeah, was there a lot of politics last night or not? Because I would kind of dip in and out,

even though I'm studying. politics nothing oh yeah when are we going to host some some viewer just said when are we hosting Dana

that's a tough gig though I have to say no and to Conan kudos to Conan you know he always comes prepared and he had a good time

and he killed it but you do see how you know you're working kind of a corporate date it's not like a normal and Conan's working it out in clubs and stuff

and it's just the Oscars so he's tagging things and keeping them engaged what he thinks working you'll like it later, you know. So he kept it really alive. And then the cold opening was really inspired and

worked great. I thought that was interesting. Yeah. One of these dudes I know did that. He said I did the cold opening and I directed it and then I didn't. And then when I saw it, I was like, oh yeah, it's actually very complicated because going into the movies like Billy Crystal, I always liked that. That's one of the best things. Yeah, Billy did that a lot. And this is the, in that spirit. And dressed. Is that Amy Madigan? Amy Madigan and Conan actually. That's a hilarious look. Yeah, because Conan can wear red hair matches his skin anyway.

So he looked very funny. That was, you know, pre-taped city. But the kids running and this and then they got animated and K-pop. I thought that was clever. It was in the rearview mirror. It's probably hard to do all that. Then they run through. So that's a fake Conan running through?

I think so. And then he just pops out. Yeah, he can't turn it around that fast. Yeah. But they were excited to see him. And here, let me see if I can think of my jokes I liked. Mm-hmm. Let me see.

You've got to have one joke. AI joke I like when he said, I'm the last human host. It's all AI after this. Because it's going to YouTube. I like the YouTube commercials popping up. That's what we're going to have in a minute, YouTube commercials. Yeah. And at the very end, if you stayed for the very end, Conan suddenly is in a short film with Jim Downey, our friend, the writer from SNL.

Our boss. And he says, you're going to be host for life and takes him down this hallway, kind of like severance into this nondescript office. And then Conan's just all relaxed. And then poison gas comes through and they put him in a crematorium. And then they say next year it's going to be Mr. Beast. Yeah. Now, Dana, you know if you saw the movies, which I actually. actually didn't. But one battle, that's the end. That's the end of one battle. So I won't say,

I won't say how it is. But when he, when Downey walked in, I was like, oh, this is a good, this is what he's going to do. Okay. So it was operating on other. Yeah, it was a direct frame by frame of the end. But they could have gotten out early, actually, because the Oscars were over. Once Downey came in, I go, oh, this is a good idea. He's going to do, take him into the office. But Downey, it's great to see. For everyone in home, when I got hired, he was part of the hiring process. He was my writer, head writer, so my direct boss. And I was always trying to impress him. Jim, did you read Good, Good, Good, Gap, Good, Girls. And he's like, yeah. Jim would always go in his office because everybody was hounding him. I know he would lock himself in his

office. And Schneider would sleep out front. Come on, come on, open up. Making copies. Making copies. Okay, here's another joke. Ted Sarandos is the first time he's been inside of theater. Yeah, and Ted really laughed hard. I like Ted laughing at that.

You know when he's doing a monologue and that fucking camera comes and the guy sits there and like this, you go, oh, fuck, am I in the monologue? How am I going to react? I'd be like this. I hate jokes about me Here's another one Oh the F1 joke Brad Pitt

They figure The plot of the movie is they figure out The way to win is to go faster It was a nice one That was funny It was a nice one Simple He pretty much landed very consistently

What's the pedophile? Oh I don't know if I didn't get it Oh he had a pedophile joke A tough joke A tough cell That's a tough category In general Yeah

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Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivatewealth.com. Oh, we did. Oh, I will say a tight trim, if you must, is a really fucking lukewarm. You're editing the Oscars now? Yeah, 100%. It was only three and a half hours.

It was 3.40, I think. Like the longest in history, right? It could have been. I mean, the first hour, there was probably one big award. it was supporting or something. But when you get into which Farley and I were assigned is if you're

barely making the Oscars, which we were, it was short film and maybe animated something or animated shorts. I mean, honestly, they should either do this sounds rude. Do it like the Emmys where they do it the night before and do some of these categories

to whip it into a two and a half hour show. More time maybe even for the speeches. But if that's what people like best but man knows some of those categories yeah you're just so specific they had best focus movie best in focus movie yeah and there were like 19 people on stage oh the best movie that stayed in focus yeah and there was like i didn't even know it was a new category and they showed out and it was like regular focus and then extra extra and they got the award and there was 20 people on the stage and their moms came up and that was about a 15 minute segment you know so yeah

I did like when she said all the women stand up, even though they didn't really show a good shot of the front of like all the girls standing up. Were you there? Did you hear that? Yeah. The thing that went to my brain, maybe I'm from another error,

but I said, could a dude, could a guy say all the men stand up? And then would you stand up to think you're not of a man? Yeah. Well, I would stand up and they go, you count for two with all your alpha males. Oh my God. All that alphanus and testosterone?

All that, yeah, D-H-T, you name it. If I host, I'm going to say, all the men stand up, and now flex. Yeah. All the men stand up, and now take your pants off and your shirts and your suits off and drop for 10. By the way, Channing Tatum looked like he was melting. Am I crazy when he was up there? It was hot up there. Maybe that's a rude comment.

I like Channing Tatum, but, um, I thought. There was a lot of moisture on people. Something was going on. Yeah. Okay. What else can I tell you? I can't read my own writing. Well, take them more.

Oh, when they take a movie and turn it scary, I think that's a good trick in a movie. Like if we ever did a grown-ups, and it's all like fun and games, and then there's like a murder. Yeah. And then we're like running and we're stuck somewhere at the lake house.

That's always kind of cool that you're taking. I think that's, was that what weapons was, or what sinners was, where you don't know where it's going. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't start out as dark as it gets. And then with weapons, it's sort of lightly weird comedy throughout, you know, but just on the edge. I mean, basically I thought the only light movie kind of was F1.

I mean, all the movies were kind of dark. And I talked to Brad Pitt about that last night, and I said, next time you make F1, have something kind of dark happen. And he said, that's a good plan. I go, thanks, Brad. Cliff Booth will be there. You think he'll be up next year for Cliff Booth, spin off of once upon a time. What'd that guy say to you, Spade?

I like what he tells Bruce Lee. Well, you're not fighting tough guys. And then he has to beat his ass. I think you're, to Bruce Lee, I think you're a little man with a big mouth, and you wouldn't be nothing but a stain on Cassius Clay's trunks. Hey, how about we have a little fight? Best out of two, nothing to the face.

who first gets put on that butt. That's a great plan, Gato, and he takes off the hairpiece. So that movie wasn't nominated this year, but that's, that's a, that's a masterpiece. But let's give a little love to Paul Thomas Anderson for, because he'd never won before. And I looked at it, Magnolia, there will be blood, phantom thread. He didn't win for there will be blood. Nope. Nominations up the zoo, but he won.

He had a great tuxedo. So he's very, he comes across, you know, kind of humble and sort of shy, you know, and he makes these kind of intense movies. I wonder how tough he is on set. You know what I mean? A lot of these directors are fucking tough. But he whipped out a good performance. I saw the female lead, Infinity Chase.

I saw her out somewhere. Stunner. Well, yeah. I mean, anyone can have a temper. I think when, Oh, I've got one. I think when Michael B. Jordan won. They cut away to Conan because I think Paul Thomas Sanders

grabbed him, tried to hold him from going on the stage because he thought Leonardo DiCaprio should have won. And then they escorted him out. I like people that don't know what part of this is true. Anna Wintour came out. I knew you were excited about that, but I felt like maybe no one outside that building newer, but, you know, in the general public,

She looked like she looked like she had my wig on from the Benchwormer sequel, which we haven't done yet. Well, it's the coolest haircut in a sense that this is Anna Wintosh, our towering fashion, that it just covers all the way like this. It's like she's in a little tiny cave and you see her eyes. Like the woman in the Incredibles with the black hair. And Anne Hathaway looked great. First of all, I guess Anna, if she comes out, the idea, came out to the song Vogue, funny. gave her jokes. I think she had two jokes.

They both seemed to work in my sophisticated ears. And Anne Hathaway looked great again. Yeah, it was a good hang. It was a good hang. Yeah. And in the in-memorium, it sounds rude, but is anyone alive still? That was probably 22 minutes.

It's, it kept going. And then people are talking. I know. I'm like, is it a new category? It's like, best, dead. person i'm like this is then barbara stricane came and i go is this an award for music nope no i know i know met bob on the set i'm like okay well you know my my admiration for robert redford and his career but i i'd wish they'd shown his films you know behind him you know just because

i don't think people remember all the president's men or three days of the condor butch casting his Sundance kid or or the way we were and the natural. He definitely sound old, the natural. When we say that is a to me old school movie star, didn't know much about him, see him in the movies, stud, great looking, good actor, and he's not on TikTok every day. You didn't see movie stars, except maybe at the Oscars, maybe. And that was it. You just didn't see him.

So they were like aliens. Okay, let's read a few comments. Oh, we have comments. They want us to interact with this? Let's see what they're saying. I don't know if you know what a live stream is. You're supposed to interact more with this. We got to interact with our.

Well, this is our fevered. This is the first live stream I've ever done. And so I'm willing to take instruction. Yeah, turn it over here. Let me see. This is how we do. Aiden Ross thing. Hang on.

Okay. I didn't know the Oscars were on yesterday. How is that helping us? River runs through it. That was Brad Pitt and Robert Redford, right? Yeah, another one, yeah. Directed by Robert Redford. Are you reading these?

The Great Waldo Pepper. And hi, David. Yeah, they should have highlighted. I didn't know Redford was this year. I guess he has to be. Okay, here's some good news. Yes. Oh, what about Norm McDonnell?

Oh, Norm MacDonald brought out two feathers to My hair is Oscar worthy and has heard the last two episodes of Cynaphobe. They talk about Dickie Roberts and Tommy Boy back to back, no. And we're also rocking salon quality hair. Am I wrong? Well, define salon because I was not at a salon. This is all me. Do you remember when I did my first commercial parody? No, Chia Head was my first one.

That was the first one I wrote. Remember Cheahead and then they really made it? And then there was one called Salon because it was based on Badal Sassoon's Salon, finished, Salon Shine. And it was just about, if you say the word salon enough, it makes your hair better. It was so fucking dumb.

And then they never re-ran it and I was so livid. I did one too. Some kind of hair, weird commercial parody with Phil Hartman. Those are good ones for the show. It's a lot of jeans. We had bad idea jeans, which I loved. Three-legged jeans.

Then they did mom jeans. Jeans is a funny one. Okay, here is someone says that sinners should have won. Sinners could have won. Best movie. Yeah. Best director won battle after another was overrated. Hmm.

Whoa, shots fucking fire. Wow. I was thinking maybe sinners would have won. So it's maybe a coin toss at that point. And again, I just, I'm always looking forward. sorry senior alert I'm looking for a master and commander you know epic historical epic with Russell Crow twice hot numbers twice all ships I'm looking for you know was master and commander good incredible movie I love it oh good you don't get it

ships in the 19th century trying to outdo each other a second oh who's the top three Oscar hosts of all time this is us engaging okay Top three off top my head. Well, we've got to have Conan. He's our buddy and he's great. He's, you know, he started twice. Well, what do you get? You're going to throw, don't throw Connie under the.

No, I'm not. I just, I just wanted to be a point, counterpoint. I have to rough you up a little bit. I would say Billy Crystal, because he was so good for so long. And he did it so long, and I was there, I was there sitting right next to Tom Cruise when he came out as Hannibal Lecter. They rolled him out to the, yeah. That was smart.

That was a good big. He did it like eight times. Conan's only two right now. Was Carson in the 70s kind of? Or Bob Hope, you know, Bob Hope in old-timey days. God, we're going to back. Yeah. Did it a lot.

But I think I kind of think that Billy Crystal introduced that kind of level of entertainment. Like he puts himself in movies and it was like much more of a big production. He came out on a horse, you know. Yeah. I think Billy Crystal. Well, I do like, I think Chris Rock did it. I like him. I like Steve Martin. Did he do it with Martin Short?

He did it with Alec Baldwin, I believe. Oh, really? I can't believe my memory. I can't picture him not doing that without Martin Short. I know. So yeah, those guys, I guess your mind goes to who did it the most times, you know? Yeah. Is it not Conan next year because of YouTube or is it undecided? I think it's undecided. I'm assuming. Is it Mr. Well, he's got two billion YouTube followers, so it might be financially a good thing. But I think that Conan is on a role. It seems like he owns it right now and he should do it. Let's do buzzing around.

And then I have something for you after that. Okay. Where's my buzzing around? This is, I like how people go, oh, it's not as smooth as normal. No, this is exactly how shitty it is. We try not to plan it. We don't got anything when we do it because we're just screwing off. Okay, Dana, we got to get you ready because...

Mm-hmm. Hang on, here we go. What do you got? We got, it's time for buzzing around. Buzzing around. That's not getting old yet, but it will. Where's my other one that goes, Wint, Wahn.

Couldn't find it. That's the classic. Okay, I'm going to give you a synchewable. Okay. Give me a scenario. No, let me read it. Okay. Okay.

This is buzzing around the fucking worst. Here we go. Okay, it's time for buzzing around, sponsored by five-hour energy. Could have used that during the fucking Oscars. And their fruity rainbow flavor. Treat your taste buds to an explosion of fruity candy flavor with a tasty caffeine kick, Dana. Get candy flavored chaos with a candy flavored chaos with a It's fruity rainbow.

Your neck name in high school. High school. Five-hour energy shots online at www. 5-hourenergy.com or Amazon. And now Dana does a made-up scenario with impressions. So are you driving? Are you at the Oscars? What is your scenario?

Well, I think they're... Let's just put them watching the Oscars or something. I don't know. Great. Now, what do you want to do? Is there a Trump in there? Is there a Biden? They'd be good.

Patrick Stewart. Patrick Stewart's not in demand. But I'm a huge Star Trek next gen fan. Okay. Captain Picard, yeah. Okay. I'll let you decide. You're the master and commander of this bit.

Okay. It's going to be messy, folks. Sure. Okay. Let's see. I'll start it with Paul Oh look Conan's on there He's very tall you know

This is Paul McCartney Here you go thanks Timothy You know I'm going to go to the opera I thought you might want to go You know They're on the toes And they twirl around

You know It's better than you think You know Yeah Hey this is Timothy Chalame I'd like to do that man I'd love to do that with you dude Pause

Pause Paul, go ahead. How are you enjoying the show, President Trump and former President Biden? Are you both enjoying it? We're enjoying it. It's the Oscars. The Oscars doesn't get any bigger. I can be nominated.

I could do a lot, you know. But the gas prices are coming down. They're coming down. They're coming down sooner than you would believe, right? Biden. Come on. Come on. How lower gas prices anybody's had?

Get your facts right, Jack. My gas prices was lower than yours any day of the week. Yeah. I guess what? And by the way, the fact of the matter is, my gas prices was lower yours. Your gas prices were high, Joe, they were high. Everybody knows they were high, they were very high, a lot higher than mine, and I'm going to get them down. I'm going to get my gas prices down.

You're going to get a billion gallons for 38. cents you heard me a billion gallons a liar as you can't know if we do that what do you think george w bush george bush you guys talk funny that's 43 that's George Bush Jr. he's 43 isn't he or yes 43 hey hey uh Patrick Stewart or Captain Bacard how you doing There we go. Make it show, number one. Captain James Bond? They're both Scottish.

They're both Scottish. Mr. LaForge. Mr. LaForge. Who the hell's Mr. Forge? Pish. Mr. LaForge, he's in the room. He's like Scotty. He takes care of the engines, right, Joe?

Yeah, it takes care of all the engines. It's better than anyone's ever done it. I'm not kidding around. here. Come on. And see. The only thing I'll add is when they come into Star Trek, they go, they open the doors.

Yeah. Psh, pish, pish, pish. Okay. Make it show. Make it show number one. Folks, that was buzzing around. I think the comments are, they're giving us a few easy trims out of that. Sponsored by five-hour energies,

Pretty Rainbow Flavor. Treat yourself to a candy-like flavor explosion. It was pretty long. Satisfy your sweet too. Was it 11. minutes. With the zero sugar treat. Once again,

get in on the candy flavored chaos. Online at www.5Renergy.com or Amazon, and we will take a quick break and come right back. Getting ready for a game

means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 988, Canada's suicide crisis hubline. It's good to know, just in case.

Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder any time. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada was that back to us oh it's going to do a costume change wow that was like

it was amazing that was a seven-minute commercial I did nine minutes of the characters talking and then we did a seven-minute commercial that's half the podcast and we're supposed to engage with fans we're live to no Biden and Trump were still talking during that commercial Joe.

Hey, let's do, um, they asked if you could do the earthquake Japanese. Coming to the Oscars. Oh, wait, what is he doing? We'll be watching the Oscars. Oh. Okay, Dana, if there's an earthquake in Japan during the Oscars. Yeah, this is a Japanese man in an earthquake, and he's talking to his friend, and they're talking about the Oscars. Okay, there we go.

Sorry. Oh, it's he good to booze. It's having a good time. Oh, ah, ha ha ha, ha, ha, so good, oh. Oh, so, oh, so. Oh, so. Oh, so, oh, oh, shit, something's going on. Oh, to do.

Oh, but I see, oh, just a turn. Yeah, but I see it. Oh, let's go. Oh, let's go. Oh, so. It's over that fast. Well, I was holding a laughing. He's okay now, though, right?

He's okay. What a... What a... Oh. He went off the... Ah, what an idiot. You're off-screen. Something happened.

I don't know. Now it's just you on the screen. Yeah, the way I planned it. Woo! I got to come to this box over here. You guys got me excited. Oh, no. The millions of people online are freaking out.

They're like, oh, my God. Everything went haywire. I know. We don't have to get off yet. We're still talking, right? Oh, I'll tell them. They're asking about the Bus Boys trailer drop today. Mm-hmm.

Bus Boys trailer. Dana, I got to get you to watch it. I'll send it to you. Okay. I'm just going to be on the... Yeah, are you going to figure out how to get back on? I'll just keep van der. I wouldn't know how to get back on without...

And what did he do? What happened? I don't know. I like live tech problems. This thing fell down and then it went up and I was... I disappeared. Was it a real earthquake? Yeah, it was.

And it was a real Japanese person. Oh, I have to go out and come back. Okay. Yeah, I have to leave your house. Be incredibly entertaining. Okay. Okay, I'll tell about the busboys. So we just put the trailer up.

Now people ask about that. Okay, we put the trailer up. Bus Boys comes out in theaters. So you can go buy a ticket now if you go to Bus Boys Movie. That's the website.com. Bus Boys Movie. We're in some theaters. We posted the trailer this morning, and now we're already filling up the theaters, so I love it.

So if you want to go buy a ticket, go to Bus Boys Movie and watch the trailer. And it's a little R-rated and offensive, but sometimes that's a little R-rated and offensive. but sometimes that's the way we like it, right? Okay, I'm back. Oh, good. How's my commercial? Oh, I leaned on... I was talking about it, but we'll make you watch the trailer and then we'll talk about.

I got excited and then this is for people worried. Japanese man is perfectly fine. Everything's fine. Listen, when you do bits like this and you make a hilarious omelet, you break some eggs. Yeah, exactly. You pulled out your Wi-Fi, your Fiji cord, your zip check. your module your squazzo flasel you're actually no one no one would believe this you're smarter than me and you also know more about this tech than i do i have had to thank god but i don't know how to do

any of this well it's because i don't have someone right next to me helping me so i'm not like crippled by just always being helped so i had to figure it out i'm my own tech person don't be take that out take it out what he said it's too mean well look at all the those movie stars in the audience how many of them have people helping them with tech issues or is you know chalemay i can't get this i'm sorry Kardashian girlfriend i can't get the wifi working i like salome i like his ping pong movie oh i saw mr wonderful you know what he was wearing hither i love this he's wearing you might not know this but he bought he invested in trading cards, right? So I think he bought a Kobe LeBron or a Kobe Jordan signed card.

Yeah. And he had it around his neck. That's what he was wearing. That 10 million dollar card. Oh really? That's horrified. Hilarious. I go, I wouldn't wear it. You know how fast someone ripped that off your neck? It's cool. I like that expression. He needs to go away. Yeah, Heather says he needs to go away. That's a great way, a great way to look at everything. I ran in it Travis and Taylor last night

They were there at the party Oh Sidney Sweeney does her own tech These fucking comments don't read them anymore Oh because she's... I don't want to hear that she's smart Because she's from Spokane, Idaho She's a mountain girl boy I have a man boy or whatever

Speaking of what you know it looked great last night Zendaya Thank you Wasn't she stunner Yeah, she looked cool Let me see who else looked cool To Me Moore I love that she had Kind of this camouflage

Plants right So it's like she was looking over Some plant Yeah I thought it was cool She just had a big bush You know I will say Why? I know I got to speak of them I liked Demi Moore's outfit

The best Not not saying Demi Moore But if they changed the name next year To the Ozempic Olympics it might have the same effect because I've heard men and women are just microdosing OZ and it's just like a new thing

they're like I just want to lose a couple pounds I just want to lose a little bit of muscle bone and tissue it's getting in my way it's in the peptide family and there's 18 new peptides coming out because Robert Kennedy Jr. wanted to release them do I need peptides?

They'll take your brain younger. If you have an injury, they'll heal you. Please jack me up. Up or off? No, go ahead. Dana. Why? Dana Michael Carvey.

I was channeling David Finneas Spade. And your sister is a great musician, Phineas. Kate Spade? No, not Kate Spade. Oh, I was Billy. in that scenario? My mother's name was Billy. Good night.

Mm-hmm. What other big headlines are going on? Peptides are all the rage. Everyone's taking Ozempig for their brain and every other thing. In summary. Well, I think the trend is this, okay? Yes.

So we got A.A.A.I. Taking all the jobs, all right? We got OZempigs, GLPs, and peptides making everybody rail thin. thin so it's gonna be a bunch of incredibly skinny people with no job just wandering around and being so so lost they don't eat they lose language they'll just be on the beach yeah who lose muscle fat and language yeah and skills I know people that are huffing not you remember people used to huff paint

Huff paint now they're doing poppers and and not it's not healing and what is it I'm closing with these. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I forgot the name. They're not, yeah. They're ripping sniffers. I sound like a cop and the, they're ripping sniffers. Are you on blackies, yellow jackets, bingbongs, pop tarts, uppers, downers, greenies, beanies?

Do sunglasses make the cool factor go off? You look cool. I look cool in that commercial. You look like Sean Penn. Yeah. Oh, wait, here we are. Indian man, because, well, let's break the, let's break the World Wide Web.

Indian man in an earthquake. Oh, do da, da, da, da. Oh, boy. No, do, do, do. Yelling at the elk out. Do do. Whatever. Do do do.

All right. Are you reading a comment that I'm canceled? No, I'm reading people asking questions. Are those people? I can't see any. Are those people Okay Says Dana

Yeah She's Dana yelling at Yeah Trying out for chips I mean the motorcycle TV show If Sean Penn Can go to Ukraine

You can make another Joder movie Earthquakes are everywhere today You know what's funny This is a new thing Thank you Heather That's good You don't have to break your arms

She's trying to show me In our Right Yeah She's been sending me messages When people say, I've heard people because in the news about drones or attacks, they're like, people sort of get cocky and they go, I work at Zara and it's such an American company.

I feel like we might get bombed and I'm like, I think you're okay. You know, people think that their thing is so, like such a huge target. Like a target. Yeah, it might be like a port or it might be a bridge, but you go, I don't know if it's going to Zara. but I mean the Oscars, I could see why they'd have extra security because it would be such a great fuck you to if we lost, you know, the most important people in the world, celebrity. But it would be like a very American thing, like a Super Bowl. That would be if just aliens came down and all those people were taken to another planet in that room, how long would it take to bring new actors and If everyone that room just disappeared, now what?

Yeah, how long would it take? And I'm asking, I'm asking the people out there, how long would it take to replace all that talent in America? How many people are waiting in the wings just didn't get? It would up the chances for busboys to win best movie next year. What if busboys still didn't get in after all those people disappear? What do, look, I'll take, look, you can bet on anything, Polly Market. I'm going to say right now

that David Spade is going to get nominated for an Oscar for his work in Bus Boys For my rat tail wig and busboys Yeah I'm going to show you the trailer after this And we're going to sit in a room I'm going to drive out there and show it to you on my Instagram And then it's in probably 50, 100 theaters

So Oh I should show it at the end of it Oh I should show it You know we'll show it I don't know if we can show it here We can show it when it goes on When we post it All these rules of what you can

can show it so well i don't know if i know how to do it that's how stupid i'm you can go right out of busboys movie dot com and watch the trailer or my instagram and then it's busboys instagram yeah it's busboys movie though can you see it on youtube yeah i think so oh no yeah sure sure jeez bus boys movie is the website heather's looking at right now is this movie being hidden from the public or something i know i don't know we we honestly don't know what we're doing we put our poster ever got like millions of hits okay you you just go to YouTube. Oh, Bus Boys official trailer.

Okay, good. Okay, great. Oh, that's on, oh, it's on Theo's. Yeah, go on Theo's thing. YouTube channel? Theo's YouTube channel. Yeah. Okay.

Okay, good, you'll see my Rat Tail. All right, so go to that and then, we're almost done here, right? Dano, what do you wanna talk about? I think so. I'm just excited about Bus Boys. Millions of views for the trailer. Millions of people saw the poster,

and now 85,000 people shared it on the Instagram. That's a lot for my- I don't wanna jinx it, but I'll just say this. When's the last time there was a really, really kind of big, well, like like a silly comedy. Like just a, it's like a 90s movie in a sense, like just trying to be funny. Or does it have any lesson in it?

The lesson is, I, I mean, we're buddies in it. It's just a buddy comedy. We're busboys. We're kind of losers. Sort of typical. We work in sewage. Lovable losers go on an adventure.

Theo was hit by a car at a young age, so he's kind of off. A little off. And then at the end, I don't want to give it away, but this is my guess, is at the end, they're offered waiter jobs, and they become waiters, and they're super happy. You didn't read the scriptory. did you? No, that's funny you think that. That's funny.

Well, when you're a bus boy, you want to become a waiter because that's where the money is. And I was a bus boy. I don't make movies about it. And my girlfriend leaves me for a waiter, and I'm like, we gotta just be busboys for a couple days, then we'll be waiters. It's so easy.

And then we just, it's harder than we thought. Okay. So I'm guessing the plot. No, and then it's so many twists and turns, Dana. This movie is like inception. This movie is like, you know, Avatar. It's so many... And any time during the movie,

are you cradling Theo's head and you're slapping his face going, they're underway, dude, just hang in, Buzz Boy. Hold in there. Don't go to sleep. Yeah. That's about 20 minutes of the movie in the middle. Do you ever scream at him at Theo

and point in him and you're out in a desert alone? You scream at him, plant your foot, and go, don't you quit on me Eddie Yeah I go don't you quit on me And then I go Actually we do all the most typical things But it's R rated so

That's very enticing R rated Yeah it's slightly offensive But not really But you know it's sort of like old school When you grew up and you go to the theater With your stupid friends and watch a movie It's a small budget so don't look for big

fireworks Funny doesn't cost money. People spend so much money on comedy movies, and you can make an incredible laugh for like a nickel. Fools. Okay, what's that message? Cordinately, I'll read this. David, if someone had to pay a nickel for this show,

they wouldn't. That's the funniest part. They go, I love your podcast. Would you pay a nickel for it? No. Your cordially invited on Prime was so awesome. What are you? What's that?

Well, it says... Was that something we did? Do you read that, Heather? What does that mean? Yeah, someone just was telling you R-rated movies are back. Yeah, let's do it. Oh, Ricky Stenicki. They liked...

Oh, Santino was in that. And I just golfed with Santino. They were just making a point. Yeah, R-rated movies are fun. I think if it was on a streamer great, if it's in theaters great, this one's in the theaters for now, and then it'll go to video.

Well, eventually, everything sits on the metaphorical library shelf. Yeah, you'll be able to get it out of that. next to Gone with the Wind. Yeah. What? Oh, oh, with that one? Yeah. Well, what about Nealon?

Was he at the Oscars? Is that the question? Oh yeah, was Nealon at the Oscars? I think so. He was part of a documentary that got nominated. I don't know if his documentary won. Yeah, Neel was there for reels. You see all the documentary, people screaming in the back

every time they mentioned documentary. That was a good journey if they did that. Because it really got attention. Yeah, Kona threw him. Jimmy Kimmel accidentally was there. He wasn't the host. He shouldn't have been there. There was a big mess up.

Yeah, they should have told him ahead of time. And then they gave him that little segment. I mean, that's just bad form. And he was like, everyone's like, dude, you're not hosting. Why are you here, Ra? All right, anybody else good at the parties? No, it was just everyone from the Oscars. But I swear to the whole point was to talk to Chris Rock about something for the summer.

He never showed up. And then I saw a Nikki Glazer, of course, my buddy from the Caesar shows. And she came when I left. I'm such a colossal puss. I stayed up all the way till 12. Heather's baffled. I stayed at this thing till 12. Must have been a hell of a party to give you to stay.

It was just getting going. I felt like I was in some weird freak off. But it was really just every, you know, a guy who's serious, great party. It's super fun. I took a picture in the picture room. thirsty and then uh they bring you back hey we'll get a picture for i don't know what i don't think they were hey guys one more guys okay hey guys real quick that's you at the s and l 50th you like no i magazine me and bill hater and dan akroyd skipped that little sh shan d i had no the

fucking new york magazine photos shoot oh that one where i was with molly shannon my best friend Yeah. And I stole this jean jacket from that shoot, and that's all I have to wear. Yes, and Marcello is mad at you and quickly Marcello did do Sebastian again. And then Sebastian was there last night too. I should have asked it, but it was funny. It was. And Harry Seals then does Sebastian.

And the way he did it was really funny because you don't expect it. I didn't see that part. He was playing very kind of shy, straight guy in some of the other sketches. And then in that one, he got to unload it. And it was actually. Oh, did he get into it? Made me laugh really. Oh, that's a funny idea.

And of course, Marcel. is in the pocket he did it he did another four-foot vertical leap over somebody his physicality you know is amazing I mean yeah you know all right we'll wrap up and then thanks for yeah coming on we're gonna start our regular podcasts in five minutes and that thanks everybody this is a good test run this will never air we'll no one will ever see we understand now it's supposed to be interactive and we want to see your what you're saying we couldn't really we'll figure that you have to get a zip drive cord

Okay, people say bu-bye. Very Don Feller. That must be you. Dana could be lead guitars for the Eagles. Good job. And that's it. Keep doing it. We like it.

And a single one too. Thank you for. Yeah, now they're just getting there, cramming it in. Okay, Dana, it's nice meeting you. I will see you around the campus. Yeah, I'll be over in about 10 minutes. Okay.