Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Welcome Back Dana!

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

Dana and David catch up on recent events in pop culture and their lives. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Gently used, barely sanitized. The skate's might smell funky, but the comedy is always fresh. Catch DJ Demaris, starring in the brand new secondhand sporting goods workplace comedy One More Time, new episode Tuesday on CBC Gem. At Salesforce, we're all about asking more of AI. Questions like, where's the data going? Is it secure?

Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreVi.com. So, if you're listening to our podcast right now, you probably know about my family's loss. And I just want to say that the amount of outpouring online and emailing and people I still haven't been able to call back is incredible.

I thought about this over the holidays and I decided to come back to the podcast because I think, you know, it's a long day where you're not working and you get in your head and I think it's going to be a great break and I think it's really cool to laugh. And so with that, here I am with my old friend, David Spade on with the show. Dana, I have to say to add to that that there was so much good will out there that was going through me to tell you,

even Mrs. Farley, Chris's mom wrote a letter for me to give to you. I couldn't give it to you yet because I hadn't seen you. But I just thought I'll wait on that. But just to show you, it's really everywhere. And I just didn't want to overload you. But as you know, everyone just was all very, very nice things. No one knows how to deal with it. But I agree that it's nice to the show again.

I know. It's very sweet. And if people sweet and if I could do anything, and you really can't. It's like me and my wife and our son's private journey, and we're all together. And we do a lot of fun things. We really, we hike, go to church. You just want to make sure that you keep moving. And like I said, doing this and riffing with you, I think is going to be very healthy for me in as I recover, because I'm kind of on the pain train. And with about millions of other people on this planet, and you don't know how long you're going to be on it or when it'll stop or when it will get better. But in the meantime, going to be on it or when it'll stop or when it will get better. But in the meantime, all this kind of stuff is very healthy.

So I agree. I mean, I've gone through things, not I can't say the same things, but when I have things in my life, sometimes I go back too quickly, like a day later or week later. But I do like to get my mind off things and it doesn't mean I've forgotten anything. It just means I just need a break. And we laugh a lot together, we're together. And I like leaving you messages and trying to make you laugh because, you know, just things in life happen. But we can move on and we're just going to this, this episode of Flying the Walls, just me and you and which I kind of like.

Mm-hmm. I'm so sick of those fucking guests, but other than that, no, they're good. But I'm so needy and you gotta research. And what did you go to high school? I know, I'm toward the end of it. I'm like, oh wait, do they have to talk? We have to go to them sometimes.

So I just wanted to catch up with you on a few things because I haven't seen you in a bit. And it was a lot happened, there was a award season, and I don't know if you did see, well basically honestly, they should really just connect all these awards and make them one day. It's just two hours show, and then just go right into the next one.

You know what I mean? A power to the makeup, switch the dress, and because it's too many, and they're all the same, exactly the same. I get that it's purpose is to switch the dress, because it's too many. And they're all the same, exactly the same. I get that it's purpose is to promote the industry, but it does at a point when you're watching it, I was watching the critics' choice, and this is a point where there's so much praise

heaped on the person who is actually just plain in front of a camera and stuff. It's like they're playing a pretend thing. Yeah, thing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's great. I like when you go, I know the purpose is to make is to promote the engine. I'm like, I didn't know there was a purpose. I'm glad you figured out there was a purpose to. Yeah, it's like they're, they make believe in front of a lens. It's not like they've landed on Mars and they know it. But it just, you know, you heal a broken world when you play the, you know, the drug. Barbie air. Well, Barbie is a great movie. I have

nothing against it. But yeah, it's a award shows are really funny that way. It just is. You know, I was, this is the week of like Emmys Oscars are coming up about it. I was shockingly up for two Golden Globes and two Emmys. The Golden Globes were the first funniest because when you're up for TV, they see you in the back. Don't get near the precious movie stars. You can't tell on TV, but I was back in La Marada. Like if I won somehow, I would have had to take a shuttle to the stage because I couldn't have gotten up there before a commercial. It would have been like, excuse me pardon me, like bugs, money, excuse me, excuse me.

So luckily I didn't win. And then when I did the Emmys, this is the grossest story because I'm sitting there. I'm pretty close to the front because I was up for a supporting actor or whatever. And then they literally go and the winner is,, they show us all, and they go, David Hyde Pierce, and I swear to God on David, I made a move. I made, I lifted 10% of my body weight, and that's all it took for people to go,

he thought he fucking won for a second. I go, no, I didn't, I was shifting, I was giving him a standing ovation. So embarrassing. So in your head, when you heard David, you lift it up and you heard a hide pierce in your head, did you think, David, and then I lose. Yep, and you sat back down.

I really, it got to David. And I didn't think there was another David. And I just started to lift like the puffiness of my feathered hair was just starting to lift up a quarter inch and they go hide pierce and I just Quickly to flayed in people like let's roll that again that motherfucker flinched. He moved a little bit. He did? He thought he wanted everyone's like, I saw you back. No, thank God Lord. There wasn't names. Oh, I would have been the biggest clown. But, you know, I was up for it. That's the important part. You do, I'd done 10 years of standup,

I was honest and I, but I desperately didn't want to win at that moment. Lauren was sitting behind me, I was nominated, and I just broke out in a cold sweat. I don't even know what it was. I just did not want to have to go up there and get that award. But I did win one.

It's a grotesque feeling. Oh, you won? Whoops, sorry, how'd that get out? Oh, oh. Yes, something slipped out. No, I did finally win one six years later and Bob Hope, the Bob Hope for you, people under 70. He handed me my award. That was kind of weird. And Bob Hope, the Bob Hope for you, people under 70,

he handed me my award, that was kinda weird. You see someone as a kid on TV. Dude, that's funny, because I'm not that old, but Amelia Earhart gave me mine. Okay. Yes, Henry VIII nominated me. Yes. You're like, that was the one

where I think Queen Elizabeth the first was hosting. Yeah, I think Jesus Introduced the person who gave me the word and then the wait a month. There was no pilot was sitting next to me I got chill of the hunt was up for best Plunder on the Tell me so what did you win for? Was it for SNL character? It was a, yeah, just being, I kept, I got nominated, but I finally won because what in those days, I think you were putting, I was up against Cirque du Soleil and stuff.

It was like a variety thinking. I was up against jugulars and circus people. I don't know why I like Tammers. You're like Tammers. I am to the world. And then I'm the sketch guy. So then someone said, you know, they don't even really look at the tapes, you know. You told me the behind the scenes

are how to win at Emmy. So somehow I changed my little byline or something. That's how I probably got it. But because, you know, it is true what you're up against because I was up for the Golden Globes for tougher because it was best supporting actor on TV or movies. So I feel like I already won because it wasn't a comedy. It was comedy drama and movies that are on TV. So I was up against I think Don Cheetle from ER and then talk about old. You know who won Gregory Peck, no joke.

He did 90 seconds is a cameo in a movie called Moby Dick and he went up there and I was so shocked because I thought he died 10 years before that. So he walks up there and then he goes, I can't believe I'm getting an award for a 90 second cameo and I'm in the back on me either. Can't believe it.

His name is Greg Peking order was his real name, but he shortened it to PEC. But I'm regret and used to talk very deep. I actually was in an award show. Now that we're on award show stuff, Kirk Douglas was getting the AFI lifetime a cheapment award, because I had done a movie with him in Bert Landcaster the year before. And Danny DeVito, I'd only been on SNL 10 shows.

He introduced me to the stage. He's a guy, Sam and I live, so no one knew me, very nerve-wracking. So I did that, but uh, Gregory Peck was sitting next to me and my wife. And her mom's ultimate movie stars, Gregory Peck. So before the show started, we went over and said, hello to him and he couldn't have been nicer.

But then behind us was this, we heard this person go, uh, and it was Lauren Becall and she was pissed. I can see what Bogart put up with. Really? I felt bad for Humphrey Bogart that moment. You would put up with it. Now, we were in the wrong. The AFI award, that is the, that's the Teamsters Union, I think, award. Yes. These people, Gregory Pack, the AFI, which is the Auto Workers Union award, I think, every pack, the AFI, which is the Auto Workers Union award, I think. They are nervous, and I was nervous there being up for many, many, many awards. Which brings me to Joe Koi, because so many people said, hey, you're a stand-up and you've

hosted stuff. How did he do? And it's such a big subject because I think one of the problems, one of them. I don't think he bombed really. I think that was a rumor that got started and then everyone kind of ran with it. People go, I heard he was horrible and I go, do you see it? They go, no, but that's what I heard. And they go, well, it's not that fair because you're nervous getting an award.

So you're playing for a crowd of people that just want to get the monologue over with so they can figure out, did I win or not so I can relax? That's one problem. And I think he's not as well known as a lot of hosts. Steve Martin, everyone reveres. Ricky Jervais, everyone fears. I mean, he's up there. Like him or not, he's very bossy.

He's had a huge hit shows. He's very respected. And he's one of them. And I think Joe Koi, who's a successful comedian, isn't really in the movie and TV world if you agree, where so when he comes up, it's like, how dare you talk to Robert and your own, you know what I mean? There's a little of that, I think. Well, put Joe Koi in context. Yes, he's a gigantic standup with a huge following,

but in the way the world works now, it doesn't always matriculate to across the board fame from sea to shining sea. So a lot of people may not have been familiar. Joe Koy plays arenas. He sells out the forum. He riffs, he does characters, he tells stories, he's like a powerhouse, an incredibly likable,

and he just ran into an audience that was a regular kind of corporate tape that a lot of times they don't, you're not the star of the show, you know? When you do stand up, he headlines is, he's the star of the show. Now it's a guy who'll fill some time before the awards. So it's difficult for everyone.

Rick and Jive saying, this is it. I'll never do it again. Never, never. You're nothing, you know nothing. You've never been anywhere. You don't mean anything. And he's telling the audience that. So he took all the power back, but only he could do that.

Cause that's just who he is. But it was so funny. That is a rare thing we are allowed to do that. But like Steve Martin and Martin Shor, I think people like to watch, they're already half way 90% laughing when Steve Martin comes up. And when it's Joe Koy, they're at zero. They're going, okay, you've got a lot to do here, right, to get me going. Yeah.

I think. Yes. And going, Taylor Swift was almost pre-offended when she sat out and was just waiting because I agree. Like she's there. She's a big star. I mean, he could have said, you know, the Golden Globes, when they found out Taylor Swift was here, they were going to switch it over to Peacock because that's what the NFL did. That's a good one. But Taylor Swift, I think he did do a soft joke towards her, which wasn't really offensive, but I think she could have, she gave him the Joaquin Phoenix Gladiator thumbs down. And once that happened, I'd have tied

to the stage. So the idea was he was trying to make fun that when she's at an NFL game, they, the NFL cuts away to her, but we're not going to do it any time. Too much here. It was kind of the, God, it was. It was that exact joke. It was something like, so we're going to have more cutaways in the end. It was something that was kind of innocuous.

It wasn't really a burn or anything. She could have made a face like, look at me, I'm so cute. They keep showing me and everyone would laugh. You know, I think when they showed, where I'll sweep or someone like Martin Short, they went with the joke and just goofed around and then people laughed because they go, oh, are they okay with it? Oh, okay. But when she kind of iced it, it was a bit of a heavy lifting after that. And that's tough, you know. Yeah. Well, it's, I've been there. I've done a lot of corporate dates and you get used to them. And you don't have any expectations. And you make sure that you just try to charm them. And then you could have a little fun, you know. Yeah, they always come up to you go,

hey, the CEOs here say something about him. He's got three balls and beats his wife. Try to work that in. And I go, oh, okay, sure. He also said he had 10 days to prepare only 10 days. I would have said, and I spent the first nine watching Killers of the Flower Moon. And that's kind of funny because the movie's so long,

but you're just making fun of the length, and it that's kind of funny because the movie is so long, but you're just making fun of the length. And it has no real edge on it to really hurt someone's feelings. Everyone feels like, oh, I could laugh at that. We all know it's long. But when you, there was, oh, yeah, the color purple. Yeah, joke about, um, ozembrides and ozembrich. Yeah. I just thought, I don't know if I'd mix a race movie with a joke. It's just a dicey or outcome. It makes you tighten up.

Yeah. And I think Joe did say that they actually kind of were writing almost a day of actually, because it's sort of getting the team together. And you know what? he's selling out the forum this weekend or something, he's gonna be fine. This is nothing. And it's actually more famous

and I think he handled it very well in the end of the day. You know, he can feel some empathy for him because he's a brilliant standup, it's ridiculous. I wanna host it next year and see if I can bomb intentionally. Worse. Mm-hmm. We're available. You know, when you have a lot of subscriptions to Dane,

you can have them in your phone. And first of all, it used to be like, cut cable and save money and then you can get all these streamers and you'll save money. But now there's so many plus plus plus, plus things you have to do that you actually are spending more money. That's a fair assumption, right? Oh my gosh.

I mean, you just, if you're desperate for something and you download it and you get it and you don't get out of it and all they do is tell you once a month, Fafafo has charged you $25. And it's not the money. It's just like, who? What? I didn't even use that.

Yeah. So you get rocket money because what they do is their personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. Monitor your spending. Helps you lower your bills. So you forget that you watched some football game months ago on some pay service.

And you haven't gone back. And they find it and they go, oh, we can get rid of that for you if you want. And it's good. They put all your subscriptions to one place. And if I see something I don't want, you can cancel it with a tap. You know, you don't have to call their customer service. You have to do that. They'll even try to get you to refund for your last couple of months of wasted money. They try to negotiate lowering your bills there by up to 20%. That's great. All you have to do is take a picture of your bill. Yeah.

They do the rest. They were great with me because I used them and they said I had 2,900 subscriptions that I'd never an app. So I never clicked into and it was 32,000 a week. And they just erased it all. And you don't even, but you don't notice luckily, but now you know. You don't notice, it just adds up. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, 32,000 is nothing, but after a couple of years, rocket money is over. Five million users and this helps save its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million in cancel subscriptions. There you go. They're nailing it.

Stop wasting money on it. You don't use. David, cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Go to rocket money.com slash fly. That's rocket money. Dot com slash fly. Rocket money. Dot com slash fly. I'm going to get a feel for him. You can listen to that one. But he, it's the first time I've read ahead of time that people turned it down like Chris Rock, Allie Wong, Allie Wong.

So that's another thing you got going into. Everyone's like, Oh, no, who's going to do it? Who'd they wind up with? And then he comes out and they go, Oh, they wound up with this guy. So he's got to win them over a little extra on top of that. You know what I'm saying? That's a good observation. Now I'm remembering that.

They listed all the people that turned it down. And these are like long term iconic names, like Chris Rock or Tina Fey. And Joe Koy's doing it. Huge follow-up. Not a hell of a thing. If you don't know him, yeah, they go, oh, that else so.

If you haven't seen his vessels on Netflix, yeah. Right. And then some people do know him and some people just go with the crowd and go, oh, are we deciding to ice him like it's high school, you know, like it's mean girls? You know? By the way, if one joke didn't work, I'd go, oh, so it's Asian hate.

That's what I say at my first joke, just to make people go, no, no, no, I like you and then they have to stand up and applaud. Oh, yeah, that would be a nice table turner. Yeah, a lot of Asian hate out here. By the way, when Taylor Swift and Kelsey, what's the same? Yeah, Travis. Travis. Is there like a like a benefit? Do we? Is anyone put together?

Oh, we know Swifties, but do we have one for them? Oh, you got any? I couldn't come on anything. I don't think there's one. Yeah. Swiftie Travis. I think it's not trailer. No.

Wait, there was something I heard once. Oh, I said that. Yeah, he's Taylor. He's Taylor. Taylor. Do you know that they're saying Chilean Murphy's name wrong? They say Killian, but the real name is Chilean Seabass. Anyway.

Do you know what those doosies? Well, look, this whole podcast here is really a soft audition for David DeHost next year's Golden Globes. And with these powerhouse one-liners that are coming out there, let me put it to you this way. There's lots more where that came from. Everyone at home is listening to one. Is this guy on joke steroids?

These jokes are too good. They can't be real. He's hitting HRs, dingers out the fight. Yeah, he's just coming off of the top with with it really. I'd love to see that. No, and that's all gonna, but, but, but, you know, Chelsea Handler, we haven't had on, but we all know Chelsea. She did the, she, her choice awards. Yeah, and you saw that. But people said, oh, she got one in on Joe Koi, her ex boyfriend. So that makes it even extra juicy.

But I wonder if he texted that. Kind of soft though, you know. Yeah. And you know, every room's different. You'd have to be in the room at the Golden Globe as a stand-up, like sit there, see how they're talking, get the vibe, and then get the vibe of where the critics choice award, what the feeling of it was. But I would say that she really, she charmed them. There was a lot of compliments and charm and

then some jokes. But maybe that's it, you know, it was just she was going to do it anyway. But she really, you know, right, I think she knew, at least she got to look at that one and say, what can I learn from that? And if she's going to do a joke, because Joe Koi did, people got mad. He said, oh, those are the writers jokes. They don't work. The ones I write are good, something like that. Now, the next host that ever did anything might want to do a joke like that, say that was from my writers, just to get them in applause, you know, like that kind of thing. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Well, there's four main award shows between January and February, and that's literal. And there is a possibility that Killian Murphy might win the Oscar and then forget that he was in the movie. It had been so long and so many awards shows. It goes, what am I up here in it for?

They travel the world. And what I should introduce, David and I are now going to do a special third podcast where we just critique award shows. I know, what are we doing? We're going too far. We should talk more about what else can I tell you about? But my roadgames this weekend, I'm like, I was in the Blizzard.

Well, there was an icy storm in the Midwest and you were apparently caught in the middle of it. Can you speak to that? How? Thank you for these hard hitting questions. Well, you had called me, I think. Are we talked and you said you didn't know to get it was happened?

Yeah. You were pretty upset. Yeah, that we're saying, you know, I'm going to Chicago, they say it's worst blizzard, it was happy. Yeah. You were pretty upset. Yeah, that we're saying, you know, I'm going to Chicago. They say it's worst blizzard, blizzwatch. And it's so crazy. Of course, people go, you're gonna go to Chicago and Michigan and January.

I'm like, oh, I'm sure it'll be fine. I mean, what are you gonna catch? A blizzard, of course. Blizzard shut down the airport. I got in, landed. And then everything shut down. School shut down. And like, can people like on DMs going, please don't do the airport. I got in, landed, and then everything shut down. School shut down. They're like, come people like on DMs going,

please don't do the show. I live four blocks away. I'll never make it. I'm like, four blocks. I just flew six hours. I'm going. If I can go, I'm going. I can't bail out on the people that show up.

If one person shows up, I'd feel horrible that I didn't go on. So I tried an all day. I just watched the local weather. They was so weathery, the weather guy would go, talk for 20 minutes and he goes, let's throw this, and they threw to another weather guy. I'm like, I've never seen him throw it more weather. And it was like a chick because she was like tired going, okay, I got it from here.

All right, yeah, it's horrible. And so it's weather porn at a certain point. Because I just want to get you so terrified, the guy is taking blizz picks. I took a little blizz picks and the girl was showing her boobs. It is like porn. I mean, it's very similar. So, I was scared and was scared.

How are you gonna turn off a weather guy if he's saying it's dangerous out there. We're going to tell you right after this word for our sponsors, you can get killed if you walk outside. Hi, I'm Johnny Weather Guy. Yeah, they show and I'm in a building that's going, it's swaying. And I'm like, hey Chicago, quit pretending like you don't know about snow and wind and coal.

That's your whole pitch, you know, that's your license plate. Isn't it called the windy city? What do you mean? Yeah, I know. And they're like, there's wind. I'm like, guys, guys, quit. I'm not in Arizona saying it's hot. I can't believe it.

Like, this is how it is here. And everyone's scared. And then Bobby Miyamoto, who is my, my opener, we go to North Face. And it's closed for Inclimate Weather. And he's like, guys, this is your superboat. Why are you closed? What North Face is closed? This is the one place that should be open.

You need a coat. Well, he needs a coat and he can't get in the store. So what is he supposed to do? Shouldn't it have to be open? This is all they want is cold weather. And they're like, guys, it's freezing. We're like no shit. See, if Trump was president, he'd be like, we're going to keep North Face open.

We're going to keep it open. We're going to keep it open. I told him that they're going to open it up. Everyone's talking about it. Everyone's saying that they should let me tell you what they don't know. So you're, did you do the first night then? You did the gig. So Chicago turns into like, hey,

it was a pretty big theater. They're like, hey, if there's not a power outage, we're gonna go. And I'm like, if I can get there, I'll go. So I went there, I'm like, I gotta get to Chili's first, you know, whatever. So I get there and it was probably 80% full. It was sold out, but, you know, probably 20% just didn't come. And then I'm like, probably 80% full. It was sold out, but you know, probably 20% just didn't

come. And then. So 80% full. So it was 18,000 people about. Yeah. So it was like a little more than the Super Bowl. And then the next night was Michigan, where I was born in Michigan, and we were up in a Royal Oak, I think it was called. And that was full. And by the time we got up there, it wasn't quite as bad. So it was, it was pretty still sold out. It wasn't, they were really, they were all tough for about it. I thought it was odd that, and this is pointless to say, but the Kansas City football game was on and the Buffalo game was canceled

when they were both like horrible weather, like below zero. Why cancel one? And not the other, interesting. I don't think Taylor Swift made a call, made a call. Hello, President Biden. Hello, President Biden. I'm doing it. Taylor Swift is online three.

She's like, if I flew here, the game's going thumbs up and they're like, she says thumbs up. It's on. Well, my wife did watch the game because she wanted to see the Taylor Swift reaction shots in the frozen frozen booth. There's always one guy. It's 40 below windshield, no exaggeration, with no shirt on. And they never follow what happens to this guy. Does he ever heard of front-spin? He dies immediately after. It is. It's a life to get on YouTube and to get on some cutaway on camera. And they paint, you know, they paint their face,

take the shirt off and it's a lot of bird Christ shirt out there. And they all look like bird Christ shirts. Exactly. Just a whole stadium full of birds. That'd be a great audience. Yeah. And so they do it and they hold,

and if you don't get on camera, then you're really fucked because then you're like, why did I get hypothermia for nothing? My nuts are my fucking throat, babe. Christ, sex. I did a movie in Canada one, and it was like 40 below. And at the night shoots they'd yell out.

Someone's got frostbite. Yeah. Nicholas Cage and I and John Loveitz. And you'd wear three, four layers of clothes, like clothes, more clothes, more clothes. And then in between shots, they'd put a thing around your face, just your eyeballs, and you had goggles on.

And they were doing fake snow. And anyway, it was a paycheck. It's so hard. Night shoots are horrible, and that is cold, is very tough. I went to get, I didn't go to Barney's. I went to Barney's years ago to buy a big winter jacket. They go, I go, I need one for the snow, and I need one for winter. And they go, oh, this is a great one. It was a puffer with leather on the outside

and it was very expensive. They go, but a lot of the wrappers wear it and I said, oh, done. It's all I need to hear. It's already confirmed, cool. And then I said, I'll take it skiing and he goes, ooh, I wouldn't wear it in the snow. I go, you wouldn't wear your winter coat in the snow

and he goes, mm-hmm. I go to the rain, he goes, no. You go, I go, what would you wear your goes? I wouldn't wear it in rain, drizzle, dusty, cloudy, thunder, sunset. It's kind of nice, huh, Bob? Bob in your room, it's, it's a show. Yeah, he goes to the world, an indoor coat for Instagram. I would take a photo for

wearing. Yeah, you can wear it, but it's not advisable. I go like I just wear it in my kitchen. He goes, oh, I wouldn't too many windows. So I, I, uh, it's hard to wear a coat on the plane. The coats are so big on this dog shit flight. They had to stop my flight. They're like, we're leaving in four minutes and everyone's like, okay. And then the one thing that's infuriating is we're sitting for 40 minutes

and we haven't done anything and they give us no information. And then, and the flight attendants are cackling up front like, where are you going tonight? Oh, last night, blah, blah. I'm like, you can't be happy until we take off. You have to be sad like us. Stress, worried like, oh, we're trying to get this plan off the ground. They're just giggling, tickling. And then we finally got on the runway. And we've got a fucking fine. They go, we got a deis. They're doing

it. They de-ice the wings. Then we're going to ice them again. I'm like, why are we icing them? Then they go, now we got a de-ice the wings, and we're gonna ice them again. I'm like, why are we icing them? Then they go, now we gotta de-ice them. We sucked up, because we iced them. Uh, Dana, you don't get it. Sub all my people out in PODLAND. This is your boy, Chris Chapman. And I have a new podcast for you all. The Chris Chapman Doover.

And guess what's up? I have a new lady co-host on the pod. Introducing Frankie. Name sounds like a man, but she looks like a woman. My mic is on! And with me as always, my sidekick, my main man, the human Googler, the professor! Greetings, my humans. And all of us are going to give our hot takes on today's issues, like pickleball.

I think it's a made up sport for for Grammys and Grampas. Social media. Don't you feel like that's what the internet is a lot of times? Does it love us a little piglets? Therapy. I sometimes think that therapy is for losers. So join us on the Chris Chapman Do-Over as we break it down. Have some fun and get into it.

The improvised Chris Chapman Do-Over offers an Odyssey and Paper Guy production and stars Ike Baronholds as Chris Chapman and features weekly guests such as Fred Armason, Busy Phillips and Amy Polar. Listen on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Get ready for a Las Vegas style action at Bet MGM, the King of Online Casinos. Enjoy Casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas trip excitement MGM is famous for. New play classics like MGM Grand Millions or popular games like Blackjack, Baccarat and Ruleck with our ever-growing library of digital slot games, a large selection of

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If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to any operating agreement with eye gaming Ontario. I took a private jet out of Windover, Nevada, and the pilots were like that right out of high school. It was after a gig, Mark Pitter was my opener at a casino. It was probably a rickety bargain basement private jet.

And so they had to wake up the deicing guy. He was asleep because it was like one in the morning. And he comes in, he's got one of those guys. He has a long beard and then he has a rubber band around it and more beard. And so he gets out on the machine and they hollus out there. And they're deicing. And then we get out in the tarmac in the middle of nowhere, just ice everywhere. And the young pilot gets out of the plane. And he, I'm going to make

I'm going to look around at the ice. So he goes around, looks at the ice. Mark Pitt has had at least two bottles of red wine. And then he comes back in and I said when will we know? When will we know he goes 20 seconds? If we were actually getting lift 20 seconds after 20 seconds you love After the wheels are up what 20 seconds if we fly for 20 seconds then we know the integrity that we have we've Ice properly and we're going to fly. He said 20 seconds. And then what if it doesn't work? I said, could I get off?

He said, I'm too late. And he floored it. And I'm just counting on. And he goes, I heard this on a plane, and he goes, and it goes, and it was beeping. And it was beeping. And the guy hit a button and I go, did you fix it? And he goes, I fixed the noise And I go what what why is there why what about what's causing the noise and he goes sometimes these things have a way of figuring

themselves out in the air. Let's go for Well, it look I don't fly private jets all the time. I'm not to have International wealth, but you could see the pilots and you hear things and you don't like to hear this when you're flying pull up pull up pull up pull up. That's the computer traffic traffic. Yeah, I hear that. I get a regular plane. You walk up. I go, what's going on up here guys? Traffic traffic. I'm like, wait, 500 feet. I go, what do these mean? What's going on? What are you worried? 400 feet, 300 feet. I go, what do these mean? What's going on? Where are you? We're 400 feet, 300 feet. Pull up. Pull up. Pull up.

Pull up. Pull up. Pull up. Pull up. Tracking your way. Iced. Iced. Iced. Iced. Baby. I was up there and I was yelling, what are you guys doing? What are you guys doing?

And I heard the computer say, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Get up. Three times. Three times. Three times. Who is this clown? three times. Three times. This is clown. I like when the pilot, I was sitting in the plane because it was all

the way from Michigan. And then the pilot comes out and he takes a dump. You know, and they have to put the bev cart in front of there. They won't even let me stand up. I know I'm not allowed to charge the cockpit. I know that part. But we're look at the cockpit or head that way. She's like laying on it and then I go, I just get up to go in the overhead to grab something. She goes, you'll have to sit down, you can't be in the aisle, I go, am I the guy? Am I really am I throwing on all the way?

So I can somehow crash this plane and go to jail, whatever. And then about the worst part is we're all timing the pilot because he comes out so long, like 40 minutes. He's like, all the pilots unload like nobody's business. I don't know what they're doing over there. They're holding it during layovers. I don't know, but they definitely see God in there, man. It's it takes forever.

Shoot, he took his time. Red, the paper, he comes out, he goes, what's going on out here? I go, well, we crashed on an island because there's no pilot. So do you want to help me gather coconuts? There was no one in the fucking flame. Five foot tall flight attendant with her arms crossed, standing in front of the beverage cart.

If she could attack a lot of duel who was ever diving in the beverage cart. Well, all terrors are named of dual. Good, no. Any bit. It could be Steve. Steve, he saw the new head of ice. Steve, the terrorist.

I will tell you before I get rid of you, Dana, because I got so many things to do today. I know you do a good life, but I was realizing that when I got back from vacation, I don't get many Christmas cards anymore sent to me in the old days. Now I get lazy emails with a photo, and I don't even get many of those.

The last one was happy holidays from your family at Toyota of North Hollywood, where you got an oil change three and a half years ago. I'm like, are you really my family? Then they have a picture of their 3,000 employees. I'm like, what am I supposed to do with this? Look, hey, there's Kenny from sales, I think, in the back. So, oh, and then it says, it says the bottom.

Please join us for our hot chocolate brunch reception. I'm like, that was the worst fucking party I've ever been to. Can he? Come to the Volencia on Saturday, February 18th for a special barbecue. With all the Toyota dealers and employees, I'm like, oh, I hope the guy that told me

where the bathroom was was there. That's the only guy I talked to in the whole. Hey, we should pick on someone who's not our sponsor. Come to all new Hyundai. All right. March for the Hyundai barbecue. Well, listen, I'm spinning this to where at least Toyota is inviting me places. Hey, man, Toyota. I did a gig for them once where a corporate date where Jack Pellance and I were doing a sketch together.

Like, I'm a sketch together. Like a thousand people and he's dressed like the city slick. He's dressed like a cowboy. And he was so nervous that he went he had a ballistic breakdown right before we went out. He literally really? Yeah. Because they told him to move because they're bringing cars through. And then he goes out, he nails it perfectly, super charming. But I just thought this is gonna go down. We are in trouble. He was off his city slickers, he.

Yeah. Yeah, doing corporate stuff after that. He had a lot of heat after that. Oh, yeah. He wandered around stuff, but he did one handed push-ups on the Oscars, right? Is that his claim of fame? Yeah. Friend of Billy crystals.

He went to the stars. Um, I don't know. I said this. What were we talking about? We talked about Toyota and then talking about you went, you were dating Jack Polans. Oh, Christmas cards. Yeah. I don't know about you, but lately I've just, I've allowed everything. Because you know, they say allow location. Oh, Christmas cards, yeah. I don't know about you, but lately I've just,

I've allowed everything, because you know they say, allow location. Oh, yeah. I just say yes. So I used to mix it up or no, I just go, yeah. Then I go down and accept cookies. Cookies. Give me those fucking, I'm the cookie monster.

You want to accept them or manage them. I press manage them. It goes, that's like accepting them. Thank you. I like it goes, hey, it doesn't matter if you want these cookies, just press yes or no. And I press no and it kicks me off the website. I go, well, I guess I have to say yes or I can't do anything. They're like, you're starting to get it.

Yes, starting your fucking cookies. If you don't do, if you don't say yes to cookies, you don't allow them, you don't allow your location, your service gets kind of sloppy, your connection gets soft and, you know, that's how they get you. They know you don't care because they go, are you allowing us to use your camera roll

and use it against you at some point? And I said, yes. Let me just see this menu. I'm looking at it or whatever. I don't know. I always end up just like. Are we allowed to look in your bank and take money out of it?

And I'm like, yes. Can we harvest your information and sell it globally to make ourselves rich? Can we get inside your personal information and put it out in the open market so people can target market you? And by the way, iPhones do listen. As far, I mean, there's no way you're talking

and then it shows up on your computer or on your email, what you were saying. Are we allowed to watch you masturbate through your camera and then film it and then put it on you porn? I'm like, yes, just let me see this menu. Are we allowed to deliver a camera that we can stick on your garage? We're realizing the camera we gave you,

despite you isn't good enough. Can you clip a camera onto your laptop? Next time you have a clutch and a car. It's a clutch and a car. We'll deliver it to you. Are we allowed to deliver it to this address? And we'll send real cookies. We're in the wrong.

If you hit cookies, we will give you real cookies to go with the cookies. We're in the wrong if you hit cookies we will give you real cookies to go with the cookies. That sounds pretty good. Get ready for puck drop at Bet MGM, an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League from game-winning goals to spectacular saves. Bet MGM gives you the chance to take those highlight-real NHL plays to a whole new level. Bet MGM has something for every hockey fan, so you're sure to find a way to get off the bench and onto the ice all season long.

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with eye gaming Ontario. Hear that? That's the sound of waves crashing on a beach. And that? That's the sound of ice clinking in your favorite drink. The secret to making your retirement dreams come true is simple. Lower, your, investment fees.

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I've been getting a lot of allows. Let me put it that way. I haven't get a lot of cream pies in my elbow. That sounds sexual, but maybe we should go on that. It is sexual, I hate. Oh, is it? I didn't know. Oh, yeah. What's the most delicious, irresistible dessert, ass

Heather. All right. Let's end on accidental dirty, dirty thing. But we want to tell everyone also Dana. Yes, we are doing a spin off. We're doing another podcast called super fly, spin off a fly in the wall. Mm hmm. And it will be starting, I think, February 2nd. And it's going to be on video. Yes, we're making the leap, and then we'll be on YouTube, and you'll be able to see what we look like, filters,

and what we feel like. And we'll have clips on Instagram and TikTok, and you can comment saying, oh my god, these guys got old or whatever. How do they look that good? Well, no, we'll be on camera doing stuff. So they'll, I do, I'll tease this. I have a new bit I'm working on

where Barack Obama calls Joe Biden and can't quite hear him clearly. So he gets Hunter Biden to interpret. So that'll be on super fly. And you can see it, which is even funnier. So you get to see us work in our bits. Yes. And it's funny. So that starts soon. So watch that also and fly in the wall. Now we're back for this year, 2024. So we have a lot of good people coming up. And hope you keep tuning in. We really appreciate it that you've made it a big hit show.

We really, really appreciate it. So thank you so much. Thank you so much. I never thought I'd hear the word season three. Yeah. I didn't know we had season three. So we have a season three. And thank you so much, everybody.

And we will see you on Super Fly and Fly in the Wall. Bye, Dana. Goodbye, David. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe. I'll leave a like or review. All the stuff, smash that button, whatever it is. Wherever you get your podcasts.

Fly In The Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, General Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Charlie Fein and Abril Steiner Entertainment and Heather Centoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzware. Genoized Berman of Odyssey, Charlie Fein and Abrilstein Entertainment and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzware.