Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - We’re Sick Little Monkeys

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

This week, David met Gene Simmons at the Burbank airport, Dana saw Backrooms, and they both consider whether or not they caught World Cup fever. Also, Mick Jagger, Buzzing Around, and the news of the week.

I'm going to milk it. Got so much milk, give something to the kitty. And then in the eye. In the eye and then likes it anyway. Likes it off. You're in one of the biggest bands in the world, and you're like, hey, why don't you come back to my house? I'm in kiss. And she's like, I just blew that guy.

He said he was in kiss. Yeah. Oh, I guess anyone can say it. How do I know you're in kiss? I did have World Cup fever, but it was just diarrhea. I thought I had World Cup fever. But it was just that poo flu going around. Okay, welcome to the show.

Hey, everybody. Hello, everybody. Hi, this is Dana. And we are fly on the wall. And we are flying. And we are locked and loaded in our prospective studios. Our mics are working. And we're fluffed and folded and ready to give you the show of your summer.

We've grabbed you in the first minute, which is what our goal was with that talk. So now that you're grabbed, I will tell you. I will say before you go forward. There was something that was a little scary at first, but it all worked out. It was a story to do with the farm. Oh. I will tell you that in a few minutes. Cliffhanger.

Okay, let's get my boring one out of the way. But people sit in your story. Here's our boring. You're David Speed. This is me. And it's shocked. Heather said they're all boring. She's already boring.

She voted before I even came out. Wait a minute. Is it about airplanes or hotels? Yes. Yes. Okay, let me hear. It is about a hotel. Close.

I had a 50-50. It's about an airplane ride. Well, I don't fly out of Burbank a lot. So I fly out of Burbank, which when you fly out of sperm bank, it's actually easier because smaller airport and less chaotic. Used to be a Taco Bell and they're not anymore. I always flew out of there back in the day. Oh, it's so juicy.

So I go there. And then sometimes I get a greeter if it's more complicated situation. And the other greeter came up to our greeter and said, hey, we got a star. So we should have meat, David. Isn't that funny? Oh, really? Yeah. Well, can I ask you a question?

People don't know when you have a greeter, you come off the airplane. Do they do, does it say DS? You're trying to find your driver, right? they're holding up a little sign. We can't tell you how this is we cannot. Oh, it's top secret. Okay. Fake name.

For all those old guys and then they all wait there and look for the driver and they go, oh, here he is. Even though they know my flight anyway because they get on the goddamn chat rooms. Could it be possible? Just a random thing popped in my head. Prisnickety bullfack frog. It's just a little fat fuck. Ed Wilson.

And so we have a secret name, but does a. matter they figured out. But this is on the way there. So they help you get through, checked in. I get there. Okay. Gotcha. So you have a greeter when you come through the airport. Yeah, they're going to cut us in line. Must be nice. I was looking at how much wingspan I have to do a joke. So the, the, uh, the, uh, celebrity question is an actual celebrity. You know, sometimes they over the cell. Oh, and I'm intrigued by who this celebrity is. Someone I would know growing up. Now, the only awkward part is they definitely want us to talk. The minions, the people helping.

I actually really like these people. Yeah, yeah. They're greener. They're very nice. I've had them. They said, you guys should meet. And listen, I'm fine with it. I'm just a little awkward.

So here I am. I don't know when this dude's coming. I'm with Bobby and we're about to go to a gig or something. So anyway, I'm sitting on the floor of the airport against the wall. little past my gate, not really hiding, but just like down there and nibbling it, you know, granola bar. They come up and now I feel like the biggest asshole. I'm on the ground, which no one really sits on the ground.

So I feel dumb already. I get up. It's Gene Simmons. Gene Simmons, yeah. From Kiss. Slow reaction, Dan, yeah, Dan, a slow reaction. Oh, no, I'm just visualizing him. Is he in his platform boots?

Is he in a suit? What is he? He's dressed like a regular dude. Now, when you know Kiss, like I do growing up, the band. Yeah. Kiss Destroyer album, the big crazy plat. Those were so cool. Platforms.

It's like monsters. Oh, yeah. They are great. So I says to him, I says to him, I says. So you says to Gene Simmons. I says right to him. I said, I walked right up to him. I said, so that's a far away bit.

So I go, so Gene Simmons, three stooges. They tell me on the way up, is that three stooges? I think Curley did something like that. It sounds like, well, Farley might have. But whatever. Everything's been done. Farley did it better. So anyway, they said, by the way, he does a lot of jokes.

I said, okay. So now I've got to be ready. So I stand up, hey, good to see you. I said, he did about five in a row. And then I said, you know, I always liked when I grew. up in Casar Grand, Arizona, this little dumpy town. I said, I always, we were in the Kiss Army. He said, okay. Oh, yeah. Kiss Army is where you could be a part of a club that, that, that, that, that, yeah, Kiss Army, absolutely. Yeah, a marketing opportunity which started then and he made millions after that. And he maybe, maybe went a little far with it.

Milk so much, feed some of the kitty. So, anyway, I was in the kids army. Can you do that exact thing one more time. Okay. Okay. I'm going to milk it. Got so much milk, give something to the kitty. And then you go and then in the eye. In the eye and then likes it anyway. Likes it off. Don't adjust your television set. I just asked. No, you heard it right. Yeah. I was amused. I wanted to see it again. Okay. So I give a few compliments. And then he goes, you know, I'm, I tell women I'm hung like Jesus. and uh okay not bad physical physical offensive bad a little had a little so a couple of those yeah and then uh and then it was funny because when i left bobby bobby uh was boarding i usually board toward the end so bobby they

get the front and they brought jean in the front and so they're they're walking in and as i'm watching them at the ticket gate i see him look at bobby blah blah blah and then he goes like this same joke just the yeah it's his killer it's yeah it's his closer closer yeah he had to do it before they got on the plane but uh and the and the jetway was too small to give it the full effect so um because he did it all the way you know yeah i'm working with a cam i have a situation yeah but you still get it anyway what i thought was when kiss i'm not saying they jumped the shark but you have to go somewhere in your career. Kiss stopped wearing the makeup somewhere along the line.

Yes, at some point they jettisoned the makeup. I think the real story is they were sick of not being recognized in public, which makes sense. He didn't say that. But I thought you're in a bar, you're in one of the biggest bands in the world, and you're like, hey, why don't you come back to my house? I'm in kissed. And she's like, I just blew that guy.

He said he was in kiss. Yeah. Oh, I guess anyone can say it. How do I know you're in kiss? You're just some squid walking around going, hey man, I'm in a band. I can't shh. You know what I mean?

I'm in kiss. Yeah, I get the makeup. They go, who are you? I'm like, I'm the guy with the star and his, I don't know. Big boots and it's so sparkly and I play the bass. It's all really hush, hush, but I can work in. But weren't the fans mad? I think they didn't take it well.

Yeah. They didn't shriek, but that first video they came out, they panned up them walking. and they're like, shaking up or lick it up. And everyone was like, it's more like curiosity factor for a second. And then you kind of just go, they just look like four dudes from. I think it was a great idea. The thing I would say about Gene Simmons, he's probably maybe one of the smartest rock stars of the last 40 years.

Yeah. If you hear him interviewed. Hello? He, I don't know if I have an impression. I'm Gene Simmons. He's a little deep, yeah. He's like, you know, I got it. being a rock band, you know, we got to make it. And, you know, we got to stand out. And that's

where the makeup and Kiss came in. And then he's like, oh, guys, we need an anthem. We need a hit. And we need an anthem. And what was, I want to party all night. Rock and roll night. And I want to party every day. And party every day. And so they're like working this whole ecosystem of how to be a rock star with the name, the look. This song was incredibly catch. and the crowd was really into it. And then later on, I think he was on a show with, it was William Shatner had a show where he's like a psychiatrist. And they said, what's your favorite song? My favorite song? My favorite song is the song that makes him the most money, you know? And it was that. I don't have a favorite song. It's the song that

makes him those money. So I think Gene Simmons is just a very clever, smart guy and talented. it. And every time he's on TV or somewhere, I will always listen to his interview. He's ultimately He's still doing it. Listen, he's older. He's older than me. And I always study people. If I find someone older than me out in the world, I go, let me see how they walk, how they talk, what's going. And it looks like a normal dude. He's on a flight. I mean, we're both embarrassingly on Southwest. Fine. Fine. Did that be very gene? I'm sure he could afford a G7, but, you know, why pay for it? I'm sure I could, too. Anyway, I could.

But I did see one time an embarrassing situation when you're on Southwest and you see another someone known. There's a lot of people go to Vegas on Southwest. I saw like Backstreet Boys and shit. And so we're both racing to say why we're usually not on Southwest. I never fly this, but I had to. It's so close to my house. I mean, that kind of shit because you're embarrassed. Why?

I mean, it's not like United is that much more. more domestic. No, you should be on a private jet. Oh, private jet. Yeah. And then one time I saw Coolio, he just looked like a regular black guy with like a regular haircut.

And then they go, that's coolio. I go, this dude. And then in like a hat box, he had to like the tarantula braids. Coolio. He puts him in the over and then at night he goes,

er, you know that hair? It's like tarantula hair. Yeah, I worked with a comedian who had a little suitcase, had to get through security, and in it was like dolls and weird props and a stick of fake dynamite. It's like it didn't go well. Yeah, he's got, Cullio's got the stable gun. Cateesh. Well, Cooleo, yeah, I mean, I just travel with almost a very realistic because, you know, I've worn a lot of makeup in the day in prosthetics.

It's a prosthetic mask that makes me look pretty much like Al Gore. So when I go on Southwest, I just go, you know, we just, I fly commercial and I fly the cheapest to save the planet. I'm Al Gore. Works every time. Have you ever seen Caratop or someone that other prop act at luggage and they're talking to you, but they're super sweating, eyeing the thing going, my fucking box better come out or I have no show tonight. I know. I had props. I had props and it was scary.

You know, where's my props? Yeah, it's like, I got rid of it. He's like, I got to go. Here it is. Good douge. It's like something that should be on a U-Haul. Head into the show. Good douche.

Good douche. Okay, go ahead. What's your story? That was my dumb story. Well, we had some excitement. Well, first of all, people were mad. I was calling it a baby horse. Okay, now I know a baby horse that's a boy is a cult.

So that's a cult. We did say shaky legs. Colt. Shaggy Lakes Colt. So what happened was is my mother-in-law came down, Granny, we call her Grand Granny, you know, whatever. And she loves the horses. So her and Paula were out with the horses at kind of like dusk, you know. Tom and I are watching a Star Trek next generation in the barn. So anyway, what happened was sometimes the big horse, Magrosa, will get territorial and it happens spontaneously. The detective from the 70s.

Yeah, right, the detective from the 70s. 1,200 pounds of animal will just lurch that Roja. I don't know if it's Rojo or Roja. Just lurch. So grandma got caught in the crossfire and the horse went full horse and did a rump swish and knocked Granny over. Whoa. Knocked Paul's mom over.

And who's Roja? Is that a person or an animal? It's another horse. We have a quarter horse. It's kind of reddish-brown, a little older, a little smaller than Magrosa, which is a Spanish stallion, you know. Who's the kid? The cult is the dad is Magrosa?

No, no, that's the mom. The mom is McGrosa. The dad is a stud that works at a stud farm. And it's not monogamous, put it that way. They aren't monogamous. No, there's only one male and 3,000 horses, and they all have the same husband. husband. Imagine a nightmare of that. And when you drive to see the dad, they see it's a stud farm and the little new one is like this. Hey, dad. He's like, hey, I know. What's your name again?

What's your name again? What number are you? 3,455. How do you smoke with a hoof? I don't know. I just kind of grip it in that. Grip it and rip it. so um i get a text in the barn um mom fell help so then we go out oh my god she was a little shaky um she had you know swollen foot and arm was so we took her to the local little hospital emergency and she's she was cognizant she didn't hurt her head or anything but we we you know we went through the cat scans and the whole thing and she she has a broken toe but other than that they did all the different things. Well, that's a fall, man.

If you break your toe. Arm and a sprained ankle. So that horse went full horse. Full rump shot. I mean, that's a big weight hitting you. It was leaping toward the other horse, but Ann got caught in the crossfire and she looked at it down. Well, that's all right.

I mean, she's so Irish. She can literally never complain. It's really adorable. But I don't really need any help. It's not throbbing very much. I'm really, totally, do you think there's any way there's going to be vengeance?

No, she would never. It's really my fault. I shouldn't have been in the way. It's maybe a sharp elbow or something out there. Like, let the horse know, you get one freebie. I know. People humanize animals and go, what are you doing? You'll see a coyote eating a dead bird.

Why? It's just a coyote. Well, I like, and everyone lights up the phones on any horror stories. Well, the baby is getting cuter and cuter. I'll send a picture. Running a business means wearing a lot of hats. But I used to find that traditional banking options always seem to slow me down with endless friction like plain phone tag, just to chase down the status of an international wire transfer. That's why I love using mercury.

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I did have something sort of political happen, but we don't go really political. We make fun of both sides. Well, yeah, we make fun of both sides. This is more of an interesting take. Okay. I'm at a restaurant. I'm reading a paper. And this story says, Lindsay Graham died, right?

Remember what that is? So this was a couple days ago. The senator. The waiter who's waiting to take my order looks down and goes, points out and it goes, I'm so happy. And I thought, are you allowed to just say that at word? You probably shouldn't say that at word. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Because you're saying, obviously you're on one side, fine. But even if it's, I'm not political really, but just say someone died, then you say you're happy. it's a very odd casual take with a customer. Right. If it was anybody, oh, Hillary Clinton died. Excellent. Wouldn't that strike you?

It was like, whoa. I mean, I didn't say anything. I'm not ratting anyone out. But it started a whole thing because someone next to me said something to me. He started defending. Then he started shitting on Gavin Newsom to me.

I'm like, hey, man, I'm just holding a paper. I don't know what it's going to say on the paper. but because I'm holding it. So both sides got ding. Yeah, both sides got things. Both sides. Public and damn crap. People are getting in there.

At press time is still alive and the one guy is still dead. Yeah. I mean, he was the senator. I don't know. People get very emotional. Social media is radicalized. I know it's a hot take,

but it's radicalized everybody because the algorithms try to get everybody angry. He did, yeah. It works. We just, you know. Who is the guy that I thought it was because there's someone that's been having health problems. Oh, well, that was Mitch McConnell.

Mitch McConnell. And I was like, he's in the hospital for three weeks. I was like, oh, it's not that guy even. They're getting up there. Both sides are getting up there. Well, you know, Strom Thurman back in the day was like a hundred. Yeah. Hello.

Did you do Strom Thurman on SNL? Yeah. The women don't like the, I did kind of like that sort of guy. He would sign the Senate bill at 102. I'll get there in a minute. What were we laughing at on SNL when it was like Farley was doing Cynity Hiflin? Or was that you? Yeah.

Fendellon Hiflin. Women do not like a certain kind of genitalia. I was just like really hitting the word. And a jet. A little comb over bald cap, little teeth. They like more than lesbian. Women like a little romance in the life and not looking at funny genital. Oh, Mick Jagger gotten a scruff speaking of this.

What? This is one of our stories that he said, well, they kind of trapped him in it, of course. Bruce Springsteen talks a lot about politics in his show. And they said, Mick, should you, do you? you talk politics. He goes, no, I'm just here. I don't want to lecture the crowd. But just saying that, he goes, I'm here to have a good time. You know, I don't want them to think about anything else. Just have fun. I don't want to lecture him. Second, he said lecture. Front page puts those two against each other. Oh, so like he's kind of scolding Bruce Springsteen. Yeah, they have like a

picture of Mick like this. Ah, and then Bruce like this. Oh. That's the way of the world. I know, a 45-minute interview. That's really all they're looking for. They just want one. We're all on it. To make everybody happy. Yeah. Springsteen's like, yeah, I don't know if I'm not attempting to lecture.

I'm really working on this underbite. It's been bugging their shit out of me for 50 years. Anybody in the, how many people you're having Visaline? I've just won $3,000 on Polymart. Because I mentioned in Visaline. That you would do a Springsteen impression. It was a thousand to one.

I tricked you in just with the other bite, you know. We should get, why don't we get sponsored by Polly, Polly Dent? We got, hey man. What's it called dentures, Polly dent? Poly, Polly dentures? What is it? Polygrip. Polygrip.

It keeps your dentures in. We should get sponsored by one of these people, somebody. Now they can do so much to keep your teeth, but it's expensive. Heather filled out a form about, our likes and dislikes. So when we get ads on here, we get more effusively like, oh, Spade likes skateboarding,

even though I don't do it as much. Yeah, I'll just say polygrip. Dana likes polygrip. Call me. Yeah, polygrip, polymarket. Okay, any other stories? Any other habitats? Oh, no, let me see the back.

I had something. Oh, no. This is just says water plants. I did move. What? I moved, but my, I told just last time about my house is still for sale, which is, wasn't the plant. Whoa, what, let's move this house. What do you want me to do?

Well, the last time I moved, the smart thing to do is I sell my house and then I go move. I know what I made or what I have. And then you go shopping for the next house. Yes. Does you have escrow for 90 days, whatever. because it's a question mark what you'll sell your house for. You could sell it for higher sometimes. You could sell it for lower.

You could not sell it. So I was looking all the time for a house because I kind of wanted to beat it. And people say, oh, you just moved there. But it's been four and a half years. That's not just. That's not just anything. Yeah. That's not nothing.

Is it a lot? No. Not really. But it's not nothing. Big picture of the world. No. Let me ask a question. Before you put the house on sale, did you ask anybody? Hey, man, just a quick question. Is it a buyer's market or a seller's market? No, the problem with that is, which is a good question, is it's always something. Yes. Because if you go on Zillow, you'll see houses are selling for overmarket, overmarket. And then suddenly they're selling for a number. So whatever it is, if houses are costing a lot, then I'm going to have to pay way more when I buy one. one, but I'll get more for mine. Right.

So you're caught in the middle. So one side you're going to get rat fucked on. So this one was, I saw a lot of houses in last year, year and a half that were kind of sitting there. That's when I came in and tried to get mine the one I got, which I liked. And it's a little more serene, a little quieter than where I was. And then, but then that means, is anyone going to buy yours? But, you know, last time it was smarter.

But this time I won, I knew one I liked, so I had to make a move. And then I put up for sale and now I'm about to go do grownups. So I'm going to have to figure that out. But I think it'll work out. I was looking for a little place to hang out in L.A. I don't know. I might just come by for a little look. See?

You could buy it with your bar tab, dude. Petty cash. You know what you need? You need a proprietary buyer. You need someone who just like, this clicks all the boxes. Yeah, it's actually a well-done house because it was new when I bought it. They built it. Yeah.

And then I, of course, worked out the bugs because some things weren't finished. I had to fix this. So it's all works perfectly. It's a great house. I would keep it. Pretty jaw-dropping when you come in that front door and all that view. All the windows and view. Yeah.

Pretty jaw-dropping. Yeah. It's gorgeous and it'll sell at some point. But that's that. And then we got, we got some, also we got some news stories if you want to go into that. Sure. You want to try a few and then we can also. Let's try and just see if.

Let's see if our brains are coming up and being funny. Yeah. I thought last week was funny. I thought it was fantastic. Yeah, we were cracking up. All right. Here we go. Whenever you're ready.

Oh, fucking buzzing around. You buzz around. Okay, let's do it. Buzing around. It's time for buzzing around. sponsored by five-hour energies, Firework Freeze flavor. It's a good summer flavor.

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or Amazon today. Dana's going to give us a scenario. Okay. With a couple impressions and then we're going to judge it. It'll be quick. Don't worry. The World Cup.

Rob Schneider, Mike Tyson, John Lovitz. Oh, good. And maybe Red Pitt or Sandler. Okay, you don't have to. You don't have to, but if you want to add those. Yeah, I don't have to, but Rob Schneider. Yeah, the game's really close. This is exciting, isn't it, Mike?

Yeah, they haven't even scored yet. I mean, how do they even know the soccer team? They've got to score, right? Well, it's very hard to score a goal. You know, they got to shoot the goal. Shut out of the goal. Well, they just, why don't they just pick it up? up with their hands and throw it in the net.

They can't do that. That's against the rules. Yeah, but what are they going to do about that? Well, that's against the rules. Why, you can't do it? Yeah, but what are they going to do? What are they going to do about if you just pick it up and throw it in there? Hey, slow down.

Someone just scored a goal. You missed it. Excuse me. You don't know about soccer. Yeah, but it's called football, but it's kind of boring compared our football. No, it's an incredible game, isn't it, Brad Pitt? That's a good idea. I agree with Mike.

They should be able to pick up the ball. Hey, here comes Adam Sender. Okay, go ahead, David. I was going to ask a question. So if Mike was out there playing and he picked it up just in a fun game of soccer, then what happens? And they say to him, Mike, you can't pick up the ball. Yeah, I would say, what are you going to do about? So what I would do is I would do.

put the ball on my arm and I would just, I would just have a stiff right and I just punch the guys. And then they go out. They go out. Everybody takes a little nap and they score like 100 goals in a row. You throw them all in. Yeah. Mike, it's not even the same game then. The World Cup has gone on for decades.

It's a sacred sporting event. There's rules. Yeah, but, you know, at the end of the day, you know, I'll say it one more time. What are they going to do about it? Yeah. There you go. I was. And then Sandler comes at the end.

And what do you say? Oh, you do. Those are Sandler's only lines. I was thinking, yeah, go ahead. This has been buzzing around. Buzzing around. Sponsored by Five Hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor,

the iconic red, white, blue freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Spark a tasty flavor sensation. With firework freeze, five-hour energy shots available online at five-hourenergy.com and Amazon today. Yes. I was, you know, the World Cup will be done by this. Right, but let me just ask you a question that's Evergreen. Did you get into it at all, the World Cup of all the games? Did you?

I did a little bit because I got caught up in it. But I was the other night thinking, when is it fucking over? Like, no offense. It's been a fun ride. I didn't know it was all summer. It's the Super Bowl for the rest of your life. That's what I say. And I like when it's a rivalry like the North and South Pole.

This is me at the comedy store just trying to do World Cup bits. Oh, okay. But overall, I thought France was France supposed to win. They didn't win. They have Mbapa. I know, but they got spanked by Spain. I would just say, tell this because it's like, this game is essentially over and it's one point to zero points.

It might as well go home. It's a one goal lead. What if they made every time you score a goal, you get 50 points. It's 50 to nothing. Right. It would make it more exciting. Because if you're watching football game and it's three to zero at half, you're like, this game sucks. So you want touchdowns.

What if you only had one touchdown a game? I agree with what you're saying. Right. more action. But even if it's, if it's 50 to nothing, it seems more exciting. Even if the next team scores one goal, they get 50 points. Oh, that's what you're saying. I do agree.

50 sounds more like a, and they really beat them. Oh, man, they're ahead by 100 to zero. Then it's just two goals. Two scores. Yeah. I like that idea, yeah. But, you know, I got into it a little bit because of learning what, well, first of I didn't know it all of a sudden it said plus nine up on the screen.

Plus nine, they just add up all these minutes and then they add them at the end. I didn't know what the one is it game. I like it's ending and they go, they can go a little longer if they want. Yeah. It's just like sometimes it just stops and they pick up a ball and they go they want. I go, now there's no urgency like 10, nine.

I don't. Right. Yeah. You know when it's over, but the thing that's kind of interesting is the basic. cool move, I guess. Someone like Messe kicks it and it kind of winds and twists and lands is coming down right at the front of the net. And if you have a tall guy, he just hits it with his head and there's a goal. Yeah. So I will say kind of goofy. That's all I'll say is a head. Overall, I did have

World Cup fever, but it was just diarrhea. I thought I had World Cup fever, but it was just that poo flu going around. Well, the passion of the fans was the big part of it. It's almost alarmingly scary. Yeah, the Vikings for the Norway game. Everyone's just like a Viking and they're fake rowing. They showed that dude's house on Instagram. I was like, oh my God. I mean their main guy, Halen or something, the 6-5 guy?

Yeah, the monster. I'm like, sell my clothes, I'm going to heaven. This guy has the hugest spread. In Finland, is it? Norway. Norway. Norway, but then Norway has to play their final game, and it's 99 and it's humid. So the heat index in Miami, it's 111. This guy is a big guy. So the smaller guys were just running around, but this guy, they had to take him out because just heat exhaustion.

Dude, I wouldn't get tired. Big talker. Big talker. I would have been great. I would have been great. I would have been great. I ought to be going doge, douche, douche. Good doge.

More caduce is, I'm going to see Swartz and tonight. I can't wait to make fun of him and make him by dinner. And what will he say? Gidege. Will he have stories? I don't know. He does. He's funny.

He's funny. He keeps posting from the hospital and I keep trashing him on his comments. It's so hilarious. Is he still posting? Guys. And I'm like, what a fucking loser. Yeah. He said he had an MRI yesterday and I go, oh yeah, the might.

the microscopic rod inspection. Dude, you can't write that shit. Hey man, cadush, cadish. I was like, what a fucking burn. Anyway, he's okay, I guess. I'll find out tonight if he buys. Are you okay? See, I want to check your, see if you can pick up your wall.

Let me see if, is your shoulder okay? Okay, no, see if you can pay the bill. Oh, so you got slowitis when check comes? No, I just. want to make them pay. I'll be like, let's check your reflexes. Grab your wall really fast. Pay the waiter. Okay, you're doing good. You're doing it. I'd like to be a fly on that wall. Yeah, exactly. You know those classic tri-colored freezer pops? We used to fight over during the scorching summer days.

Well, the genius folks at five-hour energy just did something incredible. They completely reimagined that absolute freezer pop classic as a delicious firework freeze five-hour energy shot and let me tell you Dana it's a game changer for your daily routine I cracked one open right before recording the show today and it's a serious bold flavor explosion in every single sip you get this incredibly nostalgic combination of juicy cherry citrusy lime and that sweet candy like blue raspberry we all love all hitting your taste buds at the exact same time. What do you think? It is honestly amazing how they capture that exact taste. But here is the absolute best part about it. You get to enjoy that iconic freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. So you have to worry about any of the gild or massive

sugar crash later on. It's the perfect portable pocket size summer companion to spark a tasty flavor sensation and give you that quick, reliable energy boost wherever you go, all without melted in the heat like the old school treats. Right, David? I'm hooked. Listen, you will be too. Hooky up. Ignite those taste buds with a firework freeze flavored five-hour energy shot.

Now available online at five-hourenergy.com or Amazon. Okay, what's this news story? Are we allowed to move to that now? Yes, I think so. I can never see. Oh, here's a dumb one. This is something I saw, and I know Dana won't believe it. This is Heather will chime in.

This is probably true. Let's hear it. A video of someone asking, if you could go on a free vacation, but you couldn't take a single picture or video to post on social media, would you go? No, I wouldn't. Like, sorry. I know a lot of you guys are probably going to lie and say yes, but personally me, I wouldn't. There you go. That's it.

Now, that's a possible situation in the new world. In the old days, there was no version. It was just you got to go on vacation, you have all these great memories. Yeah, we had, I'll date myself, a black and white Polaroid camera. It had a little flash, and then you wait and you pull out a little black and white blurry photo. And they have their own magic to it. It was very loafy, but did she have to wear that top to get, I mean, was she picking out different clothes? I'm going to make a serious statement about social media.

Is that what she landed on? Yeah, this was like she tried on 40 different things. Let's go with this. She still wants clicks. I mean, come on the end of the day. That's why that shows you. There's a thirstiness. And if she goes there, because everyone I know when they're out to dinner,

you just see pictures of people's food, the drive there, the beautiful. It's a weird thing where everyone's life has to look so opulent and elegant. When it could have gone any way, you could say, oh, there's some really low five people that just, well, they don't take pictures because they're normal, but you're taking pictures of things that aren't going well in your life. It's always funnier to me to post stuff that's stupor about. Or mix it up. I mean, one is just, I have the greatest life ever. So you feel like everyone is on a cool yacht off the coast of Italy party. Like all human beings have yachts and party.

And then once a while, it's like not feeling it, gang. You know, there's the sad thing. I had to turn off my phone. People admonish the young people who were addicted. I feel like I'm doing Bill Maher for a second. They admonish people because they're so addicted to their phones. Oh, yeah. I always say this to everyone.

Follow the technology. I mean, as soon as VHS came in, the first thing was porn. We, you know, answer machines came in and people would spend 10 hours in their outgoing message. Like, what would you and your prime for your outgoing message on your image? What would you say? Was it funny? I said, hey, it's D.S. Leave me a mess. And I was clean it up.

And that was number one with a bullet for 20 years. No, they used to have a whole thing called. Well, I'm glad you call, but we're not home. So leave a message on the phone. Wade, follow the beat. You got to leave you need. They had a crazy calls cassette where you could put it on your answering machine. It was all funny.

It was a big deal. Your outgoing message. and the older people thought they're crazy. But I got so bored at one point, I spent four hours working on this. It was Old Man River, except I put in beep instead of, Old Man beep.

He is a coming. That old man beep. Oh, he is a coming. Here it comes. And then beep. Four hours? I got 12,000 leaving messages for hours. calls just to hear it. Yeah, but I mean, if these things are around in

1948, Carrie Grant would have been addicted. Excuse me, I'm going to take another selfie. I love these machines. Real quick. I'm going to put it up. We're sick little monkeys. Follow the technology that all sick little monkeys. I like when people go, I had to delete my Instagram. I just couldn't take it. I was having a crash out. And then, of course, a day later, I'm back. Oh, you didn't delete all your followers. It wasn't that serious. Well, this is what pops up to me sometimes, and I don't really dig into this, but people say,

first time posting in a while, you know, and you're like, I guess I better click on that. Are you saying you haven't posted in a while? And now you're going to post after a while happen? I got to see what's going on. The best ones are people in the hospital going, hey, guys, just saying hi. No questions. And I'd be like, oh, my God, are you okay? Yeah, our guy's been intubated and he's got bandages.

You know, when do you just not leave a message? I know, when you just don't put a picture up? Is there any scenario where you wouldn't take a picture? There's a guy, they're doing the paddles on the guy. Clear! The guy wakes up for a second. He's like, he. Three, two, one, clear!

He's like, did you guys film you? intubating me and give me a defibrillator because I wouldn't have posted. I got to put it up. It's so true. When I go under, when I'm flatlining, show it flatlining, pan over to me, and then bring me back. People film their breakup. They walk up with their girlfriend.

They go, hey, so. And the girl's like, why are you filming this? He's like, listen, I think we've been going in it. You're filming this intimate, horrible thing. Oh, I'll watch it. I know. Okay, next one. Let's see. Let's see. We handled that one good.

Trapped inside. Oh, is this a scary? Just some play out. I don't know what it. Okay, so they took the fucking steps. This is just some guy in his apartment. I didn't even know you could do that for people living here, but they took the steps away. I thought this was supposed to be like a repair job or a one-day thing. The day's over. The guys are gone and there's no steps.

So this is a three-story building. there's no... And no one noticed and now they're up. What is that? You know, it's a cheap apartment complex? They took...

Well, that mean, what? Is he snapping while they took that, or he was... Well, they were like working on the steps. They ripped them all out to replace him and then these went home. And then it was up. Five o'clock, boys.

How do I get... Yeah. How do I get anywhere? I get a little... I mean, that situation, I'm not as paranoid, but if I was stuck like Luke Wilson on that elevator,

I would be like, panic mode, dude. I did watch that movie, what's it called, Backrooms? Oh, you saw Backrooms? Backrooms came out on Amazon Prime for 1999, but I had seven people with me, so we divided it up. That's good, everyone kicks in. So, Backroom's supposed to be kind of scary. It's just weird.

It's definitely creepy and scary, and it gets more like a horror film toward the end. Yeah, it's like very atmospheric. making 200 million as of this weekend that's crazy huh uh globally i think it's more like 400 well orbit louis it's um 5 trillion but it was made for like 2 million or something and they had AI to make the backrooms and that an obsession both blew it out blew out the big studios they're it's going to meet minions go to space or whatever the only thing i would ask is you invest in a movie and you're like you know okay it's kind of a mystery and it's a horror mystery,

are we going to get a conclusion or something? And didn't really satisfy me. They kind of hinted at it, but no, we have no idea. Maybe we should ask to get that girl from Obsession out. We should see obsession and try to get someone from out of this regular world we have because I heard that movie's good.

It's making a killing. Yeah. But I'm too scared to see it. But I told you we ran into a few people from that movie. and they were like, go see it. I'm like, I don't know. I was scared to see the sheep detector. So I'm going to, if you could probably handle it.

Why me? Because you're tough. I don't know. I'm in a new house. I'd be scared. It's things that pop out. So you know someone's going to pop out. So sometimes if I'm in a theater, I don't want that feeling.

I'll just squint my eyes. I go like that. I mean, it's not my favorite. I love science fiction, but horror sometimes, you know, like popping out. Um, music, noise, it all scares you. And of course, there has to be a sequel. What would be the name of the back, back rooms? What would be the sequel's name?

Front rooms. Side door. Backbone? No, side door. Oh, side door is already been announced. No, I just made that up. Um, had it. O'Pairs room.

Yeah. Dining room. She shed. Yeah. She shed. I never even knew what that was. That's like a ADU in the backyard or something.

Maybe they'll just make it a different tone and they'll just call it even more rooms with an explanation point. We found more rooms. Not just backrooms. They were really the front rooms. This is the roomiest backroom ever.

This is a mansion. Okay, next story. I had a movie question for you too. Oh, you? Tell me right now. Are you going to rush to see the Odyssey. That's a great question, Dana.

Isn't it? Are you going to, 70 millimeter IMAX? The 70 million dollar movie or 70 millimeter? 70 millimeter I'm not going to IMAX. I don't have.

70 millimeter film. I don't have the neck for it. Like this. Ooh, there's Odysseus and there's Chlamidius. And there's Oh, there's the princess gonorrhea. There's Matt Dane with his hat with a fake mohawk on top.

I know. It became a little bit casual because they got the army there. I thought, what else could he match? Not his fault, but he goes to the army, he goes, let's go. It just seems kind of casual for third century Greece. He goes, say something, we shall fight it or something. Men of our country. Let's do this and then there might be an after party.

Because you remember Gladiator where Russell Crow says, Unleash Hell. That was a good one. He could have said, let's go or begin shooting the arrows. Unleash Hell. So let's go. Ladies first. I'm kidding.

I will all go at the same time. That's casual. Well, it might have been nice if it was just because they all have swords. Did you see it? Let's go kill him. No, I just saw the trailer. Let's get these mofos. He did a bunch of different takes.

Hey, guess what? It's bitch hitting time. Might have made it too modern. Yeah, he goes, cover your dicks. Here we come. And everyone's like, no, no, that's a bad one. Or just did a nod to it. Why, Matt Damon?

I'm not Matt Damon. I'm Odysseus. I like that Chris No one. This goes, just say whatever comes to you as this character And he's like, we're going to get you. Hope you have insurance. Hey, we're going to hide in a wooden horse and you're not going to know dick about it. We're coming in.

And at best you'll get splinters. At worst, you die. Did anyone ever think that was inside the castle? Why is this giant wooden horse being rolled in here? I mean, and also, it seems like it's almost going to crack. Is it full of dust or something? Why is it talking? Also, why?

Why is it murmuring? Also, where are we going to put this thing? I mean, I hate getting presents. I don't even want this. Let's put it in the back of the castle. That's before they opened it. Yeah, well, it's a Greek myth. I know you went to college, you know, it's a Greek.

It's a story. I know it's a great one. It's a great story. I'll see it. I just don't like crowds. So I'll see it when it's almost out. That one might have a crowd. But if you like it, I'll go see.

it, but I don't, you know, I know there's big casting things, but maybe you won't even notice. It'll just be blurred into the movie. It's a sandals movie. They used to call those kind of movie sandals, like Kirk Douglas, these actors would have to wear sandals. Jason the Argonauts.

Yeah, now that's the greatest. Okay, what's the next? Oh, what is this one? I don't know what this is. Hold on. Fly. Oh, a prank. Okay, stop it for a second. I just got pulled over and I told the cop that I was going home because you fell off a ladder and he's coming to make sure you're okay.

I literally just got off of a plane and I just walked into the house. The funny prank you're doing your dad. You need to pretend like you fell a ladder or something. Please. Oh, I see. I'm right behind me. I'm one minute away. I've seen this before.

Oh, so it deflect. The cop said, why are you speeding? I'm on my way home. I'm sorry. Oh, got it. So they see if they'll do it. Oh, my God. Oh, and he's lying down.

Okay. Well, it's a funny bit, but it's clearly staged, right? Where's the cop? You motherfucker. Dude, I swear God, it's her TikTok shit or Instagram, whatever the fuck you're doing, it's enough. You're on it too? I think it's funny. Well, I mean, it was an actual prank.

It wasn't a prank of us on a prank. I don't know anymore, Dana. What would you have done? Of course, you fall off ladders every day. I would I do it it's just so funny what if Harper

told me there's a cop on me and I said you go I'd be up front I'd be really going

Life alert because you can't look to see if it's a cop like this you have to play it up a little bit before the cop in case they're watching

in case it's real what if it's real I'm like me ankle on my fifth metatarsal it didn't look real because if he's lying like that

he would have been knocked out he should have been just up against the bench to run out and just pour. Oh, and pour, to figure it out.

All right. Just get a ladder. Yeah. And a laydown. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Those people were kicking it. What a fun thing to do just to do pranks all day and stuff.

I know. They go, we thought of a good one. I'm going to prank you on next week episode, but I'm not going to tell you. I hate prank you. I hate them. Oh, my God. I hate being humiliated.

It'd be funny if you thought you were getting on the Zoom with me here and then I just come up from buying your couch. Oh, that would be scared. I think that would scare me, too. Ted silent. Hello. You drove all this way and I get mad. Isn't it funny?

Okay, let's do one more. One more. Then we got. We had a lot loaded up. Let me see if this one's work. We did. Let's see what this is. This guy's listening on time.

What are they talking? I don't know. I should you guys have mad at trick by any chance. All three of you guys. Sure. Okay. All three of you guys, give me a random number. Eight.

Okay. Eight. Three. Three. Final one. And 16. Okay, 8.316. Now give me a color.

Blue, red, purple. Blue-red purple, 8-316. Got it. What if I told you the conversation we just had wasn't real? This was a fully pre-recorded and generated conversation. Are you for real? I'm being totally for real. This was pre-recorded and generated to react to everything that you just said.

This took months of planning. Wait, do it again. Do it again. How the f*** did you do that? What? Like, I'm going to have a call. What? So what?

I mean, I'm confused. What the fuck? He's up. But my head hurts. Wait, do something else. Do it. Come on. I know it's like a paper, like a towel or something.

Wait, how is he? Do you? Ha! No. Heather, do you see that one? Okay, stop. Wow, okay. That was cool.

It's called, I think it's called chat roulette. You just keep hitting your Zoom and it spins and just someone else pops up. And you either talk them for a while or you don't. Yeah, usually the guys just whang out. How did he? And had those extremes. Wang out. Is that the way they call it now?

Yeah. You can do it because it's just they don't, they're not really recording. How did he get the thing that they said randomly on the piece of paper? I don't know. That's, that's the intrigue. That's the joke part. So all the doing the thing that he was writing it at that point. I mean, it's obviously a trick.

If they set up with him ahead of time possibly, but even how he did this part, it looked cool no matter if it was set up. Mm-hmm. Where he's playing a video and he's like, but I had the amazing Kreskin once. He's a guy. Did you see him in real life?

Yeah, and I saw, I saw him doing the trick, but I didn't say anything. Oh, no. So he's holding this up. And he goes, give me, give me, you know, two numbers in a letter or something like that. So I said 3-7B, and then he goes, like that, and he got a little pencil out,

and he was kind of writing it on the paper plate as he was distracting me. Because he's chishing. Yeah. And I go, hey, Kreskin, that wasn't so amazing. Oh, is that what he did? He wrote it like, oh, okay. Yeah, so say you say it to me. Like, okay.

Okay. So I'll give you seven. Wait a minute. You got a pen? Yeah. We're going to do a magic trick, everybody. Start recording. This is going to be good.

Okay. 7. 11 and J. Let's see if you can do this. That's it. I feel like those girls in the car. That's it. But what he really did was say it again, 711J.

11. 11. J. Oh. And then he wrote it. Oh, yeah. That's good. He did it better than that.

He was amazing. yellow part. I could read it better. I didn't have a blank thing. I have this. So many ideas. My pads are full of stuff. Here, it would be like this. Okay. Say another one. Okay. Five three, Hugh.

Oh, wow. That's amazing. Oh. Oh my God. You wrote 53 Lollipop. I'm doing it. terribly, but I think it's great. Creskin was big, dude.

It's all about distraction. I know. Look over here, look over there. Let me tell you something. When these guys do it to me, I was interrupting you, but when these guys... No, no, I like, let me tell you something.

I think it's funny. Let me tell you something. Okay. No matter what they want me to do, I do it. Whether it's on purpose or not, they go, okay, so your wall, it's over here, and then they go, oh, a birdie, and I'm like, I look back,

and then I'm like, well, How did you do it? They were like, oh, when you looked away, I did it. I'm like, but anywhere, where their hands, why they talk, they're doing little tricks that you're supposed to follow something, and then they're rubbing your arm and they got your watch. David Blaine, I've seen him in person and do stuff. Crazy.

And do it to me. He did stuff to me. Anyway, he said it was magic. You know, what Ricard is? It's inside that Baskin-Robbins that's close. closed. It's in the Sherbert ice cream. You know,

like, usually he goes, it's in your anal cavity. I'm like, it is. And you would say again? I go, I go,

is that it? No, those are my car keys. That's a yo-yo. Where was that? With Lance Bert, you know, he's got the jacket on.

Oh, they think it's up his sleeve. He's like, and he rolls up the sleeves. And then he just goes like that and he's got a lit candle. Yeah. When David Blaine was on the street, like,

10, 20 years ago. And he took a guy down the street and it was a card is on the other side of a store on the inside. Yeah, yeah, inside the glass. And then sometimes it's a newspaper on the glass and puts his arm to the glass. That's fucking, I love it. There's a great YouTube video where he is at Harrison Ford's house. And he's doing all the sleight of hand. And then somehow what Harrison Ford rode on gets inside an unpeeled orange.

A banana or something. Yeah. Yeah. And he peels it. And then Harrison Ford pauses and says, get out of my house. He opens it up and says, get off my plane. That's what he says in Air Force One. Yeah, that is.

Get off my plane. Kadeesh. What about, okay, we can end on that one. David Blaine plays the win or Resorts World sometimes. I would like to see that. He's so entertaining. I love magic. I love magic.

very entertained. I want to be tricked. Yeah, and I don't want to know how it is. No, I like when it's just so inexplicable. You're like, what the thing? Yeah. Well, maybe we should get him on and he could do it right here on the thing with us. I'd come in. We could do it in there and then... Oh, yeah, yeah. I get scared. It's so crazy. I think

it's like witchcraft, but... Yeah, he'll try to bust us. I think he would do it. We could do it in person. Uh, okay. All right, Dan, thanks for coming. Yeah, thanks for completion of another episode. Let's... It's a miracle. Hey, let's read some ads. All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are.

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What do you think? I'm going to tell you this right now. Him and I'll believe me later. Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by Hold For It, Dana Carvey and David Spade, or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox with production support from Phil Sweet Tech.

Talent Production and Booking by Sophia Lippor.