Follow Him: A Come, Follow Me Podcast - Genesis 37-41 -- Part 1 : Dr. Lili De Hoyos Anderson

Episode Date: March 5, 2022

How was the Lord with Joseph through times of trial? Dr. Lili Anderson teaches why this life isn’t fair, how Joseph responded to hardship, and how we can choose to receive all He wants to give us as we become antifragile.Show Notes (English, French, Spanish, Portuguese): https://followhim.co/episodesFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/followhimpodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/followhimpodcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/FollowHimOfficialChannelThanks to the followHIM team:Steve & Shannon Sorensen: Executive Producers/SponsorsDavid & Verla Sorensen: SponsorsDr. Hank Smith: Co-hostJohn Bytheway: Co-hostDavid Perry: ProducerKyle Nelson: MarketingLisa Spice: Client Relations, Show Notes/TranscriptsJamie Neilson: Social Media, Graphic DesignWill Stoughton: Rough Video EditorKrystal Roberts: Transcripts/Language Team/French TranscriptsAriel Cuadra: Spanish TranscriptsIgor Willians: Portuguese Transcripts"Let Zion in Her Beauty Rise" by Marshall McDonaldhttps://www.marshallmcdonaldmusic.com/products/let-zion-in-her-beauty-rise-pianoPlease rate and review the podcast.

Welcome to Follow Him, a weekly podcast dedicated to helping individuals and families with their Come Follow Me study. I'm Hank Smith and I'm John by the way. We love to learn, we love to laugh. We want to learn and laugh with you. As together, we follow him. Welcome everyone to another episode of Follow Him. My name is Hank Smith. Welcome everyone to another episode of Follow Him. My name is Hank Smith. I am your host. I am here with my amazing Technicolor co-host John By the way John by the way I grew up in the black and white era of the Andy Griffith shows So technical er was a big deal when I was a kid. They used to say in color. TV.

Yeah. There were a lot of good life lessons out of Andy Griffith, by the way. Oh, best show ever, yeah. John knows every episode I've heard most of them. I've never seen them, but I've watched them from John. Yeah. John, you're amazing technical color

because we are talking about one of those famous stories ever. So we wanted to bring on a guest who could help us understand this incredible story, even better. Tell us who's with us. Absolutely. And she is back. We've had sister Anderson before. Lily DeHoyeus Anderson is a first-generation American. Her mother is French and her father is Mexican. She grew up in Indiana. But when she started high school, both her parents began teaching at BYU, so the family moved to Provo.

And she graduated from Provo high school. I graduated from BYU in sociology, and married Chris Anderson. They had eight children in 12 years. They are affectionately referred to as the alphabet kids. I love this because their names are Adam, Bethany, Kaitlyn, Dominic, Eden, Faith, Graden, and Harper. After almost 20 years of being a full-time homemaker, sister Anderson decided to return to school, complete a master's in social

work from UNLV and a PhD in Marriage, Family, and Human Development from BYU where she taught for several years in the school of family life. She's a licensed clinical social worker, has a private practice in individual marriage and family counseling, and she has a new podcast called Choosing Glory. Do you want to tell us more about that, Willie? Well, it's all because I was a guest on follow him. This was not on my radar. I just thought I would have a fun

time being a guest with you guys last year. I got a lot of feedback from people who encouraged me to consider this. And you know, particularly my children in law which was really really a great compliment that they were like, you know, this it's good to have another voice out there. I finally took the the plunge, I did a lot of praying about it, but it felt like it would be something to try. So I have really enjoyed that. I like what you said, Lily, another voice out there. And that's how we look at it. We are so thankful that there are so many other voices out there that defending truth and defending Joseph Smith and things like

that. So that's great. Lily, let's jump in. Tell us about Joseph and his family. What he did? Most of us have had this soundtrack of Joseph and the amazing technical dream go-go-go-through our heads as we've read about Joseph. And it is a delightful little production piece, not always exactly accurate, but we forgive it because it's so clever. And it does highlight in really quite a generous and lovely way, this amazing, amazing profit. So really a privilege to talk about Joseph.

I wanted to start with just a kind of a perspective. And maybe you've discussed this before, Genesis particularly is a very brief sketch of this history. And I think it's good for people to remember. Give it a little latitude when there's something that we don't fully understand. We can speculate about some things but the record is pretty scanty. I mean I looked up some things when I started again on the Old Testament this year. The entire book covers about 4,000 years, right? And it's in just under 1200 pages. You may miss something

along the way. Even more extreme is that Genesis covers over half of those 4,000 years. It covers about 2,200 years. The estimates vary a little bit, but it's pretty close to that. So we're talking about 55% of the time period covered by the Old Testament is covered in 6.5% of the total length of the book. And as you said, it's not exactly proportionate because we do spend more time on Abraham Isaac Jacob and Joseph. So there are a few more chapters devoted to that, but nevertheless, we're talking about 78 pages in Genesis that have 50 chapters and we're covering 2200 years. So I just want people to appreciate that. If there are things that they feel they're not fully fleshed out, well, that's right. That's right. This is a pretty brief record of these marvelous and amazing events. And nevertheless, we have this record preserved so that

we can learn from these amazing people who lived at the beginnings of the world and established these believers. We have strong believers, these patriarchs that came down and the women that were with them. So just be patient as we read this book. I hope everybody can be a little patient and understand that there's much more to be revealed to flesh out these stories, but the themes are clear. The themes are clear and the gospel has been revealed in every dispensation and they had all they needed, as we have all that we need, but we do live in a very generous time. To think that we live in a dispensation where all these materials are available on our phones.

I hope we'll be a little grateful for that, and further, I wanted to mention too that we've read these past chapters and so on, and we see that there was so much wickedness, especially prior to the flood, but even after the flood. It's not a large group of people who are true believers. And I think again, how great a blessing it is to live in a dispensation where there are so many believers, and we can connect so easily with believers worldwide. And we have a worldwide connection with other people who, not just of our faith, but many Christians in the world who do believe the Bible and study the Bible and believe in Jesus

Christ. So that really struck me too this year, again, as I started reviewing the Old Testament, because I thought it must have been a lonely time. It must have been a lonely time and I think there's evidence that Joseph went through periods of real loneliness on his own and and we don't usually have to be that lonely. So really an impressive time, an impressive time that these people on their own, you know, with very few people to support them could choose to believe and to be so incredibly faithful. And idle worship is all around. So here we have, we have Joseph come into this family. And what a family it is. Abraham Isaac Jacob who becomes

Israel and then this tenth son Joseph, who is the birthright son because of his righteousness. But okay, I'm a counselor. So I have to say there was a lot of family dysfunction. We have some really good evidence of intergenerational family dysfunction. I love that you said that. Lily, I've noticed something I probably never noticed before. I probably should have, but Genesis seems to set up a problem. And what's the answer is this family.

The answer to the wickedness on the earth is a family, and they're a very imperfect family, yet they're still the family. Well, let me share a little moment that I had when I was probably 11 or 12 years old. My mother was a counselor who later got a PhD in sociology, but she did have a master's of social work also. So she was talking about maladjustment, people who are not functioning in a completely healthy way. And generally because they've been hurt,

something was hurtful or painful or traumatic in their lives, and their response to that wasn't maybe as healthy or complete because our resources are limited, especially when we're young. So I'm listening to my mother talk about this. I'm still pretty young and I said, well, mom, how many people are maladjusted? She said, well, Lily, everyone's maladjusted. That's what I thought. Exactly. You saw that one coming, didn't you, John?

And it was like, I was like, shocked, you'm like it was such a valuable message such a valuable message because of course you can stop there but she talked about the hope that exists for us to overcome our weaknesses and make them into strength through Jesus Christ and that's really the goal but to add to that my husband had this brilliant insight one time he was reading through ether 1227 again where it says that God is saying, I give unto men weakness that they may be humble and my grace is sufficient for all men who humble themselves and you know have faith in me and I can make your weaknesses strong. It's this amazing promise. That really is so much of what we're going to talk about today. But my husband was sitting there reading that and pondering on it and he

looked up and he said, you know, instead of saying, I give unto men weakness God, could just as accurately have said, I give unto men families. I give unto men parents. I know. And again, there we had our age, children by then. And I was like, wait, that has the resonance of truth,

the piercing resonance of truth, because none of us get perfect parents and none of us are perfect parents. And that is the plan now Let me be clear. This is not a free pass to be a lousy parent We are asked by God to be as good parents as we to be diligent in trying to become good parents I've said before that the product of parenting is not really the child. It's the parent because this is a journey This is a journey and it is a journey. And it's

a fabulous refining journey if we allow it to be. Because in our efforts to become better parents, we become better people. And we can, if we're doing it right, become much more like the Savior Jesus Christ. And it is a journey. So there's a balance in there. Lily, I used to tell my dad, you sure got a lot nicer as you got older. Yeah. I remember thinking just before he passed away, I'm like, that's not my father. That is a really nice old man. Who is that, right? And I think that was, yeah, as become? Yeah, it was part of the...

Like you said, it's part of the process. So let's just make a quick review. Okay, so we're going back to Abraham's father, Tira. And think how disturbing this can be for a child. Not only does he worships Jehovah sometimes, you know? But then he goes back to the idols. That's very confusing, children, sometimes that bounce. Sometimes I fervent believer and other times I fervent pagan.

So, and then of course culminating with his offering and taking Abraham to be sacrificed to this false God. And if it hadn't been for the angel coming, it would have happened. So, and then of course, it's still not safe for Abraham. So the spirit tells him, get out of Dodge. You know, it's just gonna have to leave because this is not a safe place And then look what says in Abraham chapter 1 and this is so so beautiful Let me just turn to that for a second. This was pointed out. I don't even remember the lady who was talking about this once But I remember just being really impressed by it

Abraham says in chapter 1 and this is before he gets these promises or callings from the Lord, verse two, there's a follower of righteousness, this is kind of halfway through, desiring also to be one who possess great knowledge and to be a great follower of righteousness and to possess a greater knowledge, and then look at this, and to be a father of many nations, a prince of peace, des receiving, he wanted to be the father, and think how this makes sense. If you think of it from a counseling perspective, he had father issues.

His father was a jerk, in a really unstable, very dangerous, couldn't have been someone that Abraham felt really comfortable with or had a great experience with. He has to leave, but he wants to be a good father. He wants to fulfill this opportunity that God gives us if we are able to marry and have children to be a father. That is a good father and a father of many nations. He wants us to go on and to have a posterity that can be different from what he grew up with.

and to have a posterity that can be different from what he grew up with. So what happens? Well, his wife can't have a child. Sorry, look. Wow. Wow, God's not kidding around that there are tests in life, you know, and then finally, we could say have the handmaiden Pager, there,

who is able to bear a son to him, Ishmael. So we don't know how old Ishmael was, but finally when Sarah conceives a child, God tells Abraham, send Ishmael. So we don't know how old Ishmael was, but finally when Sarah conceives a child, God tells Abraham, send Ishmael away. Can you imagine how that felt to him? Are you kidding? I want to be a good father, not like the father I had. I want to be a good father. And now you want me to be a bad father? You want me to reject this child? It must have been such an amazing test, maybe part of that Abrahamic test even started there. And then God makes him a promise, don't worry, I'm going to take care of him and his mother and he'll become a great nation.

So then he has this child of promise Isaac, must have been so filled with joy now. I didn't get a lot of children, but okay, he has this child of promise in Isaac is a righteous man now on Isaac's about 35-ish probably then God says okay now sacrifice Do to Isaac what your father tried to do to you, but don't worry because I'm the real God Are we aware of what an Abraham? To Abrahamic test really is like it gets us right in our hangups. Like God wants us to overcome. That's his trauma from his childhood. That's his trauma.

That's his trauma. And God's like, I've tried a long time to forget this. That's right. That's right. And he's like, no, I can make your weakness as strong. We can overcome all of this. We can overcome all of this. And you know what?

It says so beautifully that Abraham got up early the next morning to comply with that. I mean, some of us would have slept in, you know. Maybe, maybe I'm not in a hurry to go and do this. But Abraham has such an amazing trust in God and is so, so fixed in his righteousness that I will do with the Lord commands. Even though this is hidden right on this off spot, you know. So he goes and of course we know that it is not required that he feel that but he passes the test. Isaac also must have

had a pretty traumatic test there because, you know, he probably easily could have wrestled that knife away from his aged father, but he was willing to submit because he also has this great testimony and becomes the next great patriarch. But look at the next hang up. He has twins and he favors one. Never, never a great dynamic. Never a great dynamic, but he just has this sort of kinship with Esau, who's an outdoors guy. I said, kind of connect. And Jacob's a great guy, but really a great guy, because he is righteous. And Esau really isn't. And he marries outside the covenant. Rebecca has to use some substitute to get the birthright blessing to Jacob. Now, I've mentioned this, and I'm sure this has been just talked about, but I just

want to review that obviously you can't steal a birthright. I mean God would not endorse a stolen birthright. Isaac was a little weak in this particular place. It's just hit on his soft spot, I suppose, but but he gets it. And when Esa comes and says, well you're not going to bless me, I mean, and have you nothing left for me? And Isaac could have said, no, your brother stole it. I'm giving you the real birthright. I mean, there was, it would have been nothing to stop him from conferring a birthright on Esa. Had Esa deserved it and been worthy and righteous.

But trick there just was to, you know, just kind of brought Isaac's awareness again to the forefront that like, no, Jacob is the birthright son But now he's I want to kill Jacob. So Jacob has to also leave We still see a lot of trauma. Yeah, this is a fun. This is what is the fun and dysfunctional? This is wow We are fun and dysfunctional wow

Okay, I'm gonna make some conclusions here in a moment But but we see him now go to his uncle, Laban, and Laban's his son of a god. So he loves Rachel, it worked seven years and gets Leah. And look at the dysfunction that comes between those two sisters, because even though, okay, we'll all stay with Leah for a week, and then I'll let you marry Rachel, who was really the love of Jacob,

and now Leah is jealous. But now Rachel's jealousy because we can have children and she can't. So you know there's a lot of competition. And this goes on through the chapters we read about that right. Even that one time the Leah's son comes back with mandrakes and Rachel's like, hey can I have some? No, you already have my husband. I'm gonna give you my mandrakes too. And she says, well, okay, I'll just switch this and Jacob can sleep tea with you tonight. It's pretty bizarre stuff. Now, it is a sketchy record, but we see this.

We see this. And it even says of Leah that she was hated. That she was hated. You think the sons didn't know that? So these sons of Jacob that are born to Leah and then to Bill Ha and Zilpa competing to have children because that's why Rachel says, well here maybe my handmade can give you children for me. And then Leah does the same and then Leah has a couple more.

And you know what says of Leah? So sad it says, maybe now my husband will love me because I've given him six sons. I mean, she's still all these years later. She's still like, maybe now he'll stay with me. So there's a lot of pain here. The trouble continues. Now we have Joseph who comes in and he's hated by his older brothers because not only is he the child of Jacob's old age, but he's the child of Rachel. And let's give him credit where

credits do. Joseph is good. Joseph is righteous. The other brothers are not. I mean they represent the 12 tribes of Israel, but that doesn't mean they were righteous. And Ruben has defiled his father's bed with Bilha, and they all have their issues, and they don't like Jacob. And, you know, maybe they just saw how much pain that their mothers went through, and particularly Leah, for being the non-favored wife. I'm feeling a little bit better about the drama in my family. Both the family I grew up in and the family I have now.

I'm like, okay, that's maybe it's to be expected. A little drama, a little drama, a little jealousy, little some problems, some hatred. Yeah, I was gonna say, I think I've used that word and you used it a few times here, dysfunction, and maybe we ought to define it, because I've used it, because I think I know what it means, it's like not functioning, right? But what is dysfunction? Well, yeah, it means unhealthy ways of responding.

So, we talk about hangups from decades ago we used that word hangups, everybody has hangups, and that really is the same thing. It means that I was hurt in a certain area and my response to it wasn't that great. And how could it have been? Like especially because a lot of these traumas happen when we're young and they may not be full blown traumas but they're heard and there's jealousies within families or parents have their own stuff.

And if we go back in generation, like we were just talking about this generation after generation of pain, we can understand why people don't handle things perfectly because things were handled perfectly for them either. So they end up with these hangups and then they pass them along. Not because they're bad people. I do want to mention specifically, and this is really important that we, we kind of find a sweet spot in the middle of all this, meaning that we need to, to make some decisions. For instance, it's not okay to just say, well, then I have a free pass to be a crummy parent. No, we don't. We don't. We, we are responsible. I can blame my past. I can blame my behavior on my past. Yeah, we are responsible. And there are, again, you know, some amazing examples of people who, like these people we're talking about, who did have injuries in their youth or in their lives, but didn't let that give them an excuse

for becoming, you know, slugs or terrible people or angry people or vicious Breakers of the come of their covenant like now like I I want to be good I still want to be good and I'm gonna allow that healing process to continue in me and trust in the Lord That he can make my weaknesses into strengths if I if I pursue this past so no free pass on on being a lousy parent We I hope we're all diligent in those efforts. But again, a sweet spot is not expecting ourselves to be perfect. And recognizing that, okay, our kids

may end up with a few hams that we've developed. Well, we need to be as supportive and accepting of that as we can, but that doesn't mean that we, what we condone sin, doesn't mean that we just throw out the rules and say that, like, well, you know, because life is hard, doesn't matter if you're good. Yes, it does. It absolutely matters.

That's kind of, again, that's the point is, can we through all the tribulation of this life continue to choose Christ, to continue to come to Christ and be saved? There is this sweet spot. Like you said, we don't want to blame. We don't want to act like that gives me a free pass to be a jerk myself or to be unkind or messed up. We should be working toward the functional life that God wants, that he invites us all to have.

Another point though, however, is that is to not deny that we're hurt. Like, it helps to recognize those things and to process them through prayer, through some cathartic writing, perhaps, but anyway, there are lots of things that and there are other resources that can help us to process that pain. But denying it is not a good idea. Everyone's a lot of clients who maybe have a toxic mother or a toxic father, an abusive parent, one of them, or both. Maybe somebody who's incredibly critical and really did a lot of damage when they were

growing up because it really affected their self image and created some series insecurities. And they'll say, but my parents are really wonderful people and I need to honor my father and mother. So they keep going to visit a lot and they spend a lot of time with those parents who are still hurtful. And I'm like, hang on, that's not required either. Honoring your father and mother doesn't mean that you have to put yourself in harm's way. So if you have an unhealthy relationship where there really is abuse, I'm not talking about imperfection here,

but I'm talking about toxic stuff. Somebody who is really cruel or unkind or degrading or demeaning or dangerous in some way, then don't put yourself in their path. Abraham left because his father was toxic and that's not a bad pattern. It didn't mean that he didn't honor his father, but honoring our father and mother doesn't mean that we're gonna agree with them, that we're going to ignore things that aren't correct or that are

dangerous. So there's that sweet spot. Like I said, I think we can find it. I know we can find it. And if we need help, we should get help. But we can find that space where we're safe. And I would say that honoring our father and mother means that we can always be grateful for life. They gave us life. They were the instruments through which we come to the earth. We've made it to adulthood. That's a blessing. That's a blessing. And our parents probably taught us some things that were valuable. Sometimes, I mean, I remember talking to a guy who's father was really abusive, but he said, you know what? He was such a hard worker and I learned to work from my dad. And I'll always be grateful for that. And we can have compassion for the fact that like they were hurt too because what do we say?

Hurt people, hurt people. So we can have some compassion and we don't have to try to condemn, we don't know enough to condemn. God's gonna take all of the right stuff into consideration, he sees everything perfectly in the heart, in the mind, and all the circumstances. So we don't have to worry about that. And it's not our business to make a final judgment

about our parents, but we need to make an intermediate judgment and say, is it safe for me to continue having a relationship with them or not? And I don't have to believe everything that they believe. I need to believe what the Lord tells me to believe. That's what Abraham did. Great example of that, by the way. And these men all chose to follow God in spite of whatever hurts.

So that's the takeaway. Find that sweet spot. Too often we have a victim mentality in our world where as you were saying John, it's just like, well, it's my mother's fault, my father's fault, or the devil made me do it. Therefore, yeah, therefore I give up. Yeah, I give up. I'm not responsible for free past you said. Free past. And then don't give up on the goal because we're in a dispensation now where we have the opportunity to try to build Zion families, we can choose that path and teach the principles of Zion.

And yes, encourage our children. They'll choose for themselves as children do, but we can give them a good start. And this is the time. This is the time. We are invited now to establish Zion individually. We're not called as a group yet. The prophet will call when the time is right, but individually, we have everything we need. We have the covenants of the temple, we have access to the priesthood powers, we can work to be Zion. So don't give up just because life is hard. So find that sweet spot.

Herobily used to say, the gospel of Jesus Christ is to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the gospel of Jesus Christ is to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable. So let's find that sweet spot. Be comforted in our imperfection and the imperfections of our families, the dysfunctions, but let's not get too comfortable with that. Let's keep working on improvement. The Lord can heal. He can heal all our wounds. What an amazing gift that is. And we sell ourselves short. And we sell the Lord short. If we don't work to receive that great gift of healing, it's it's available. It's totally available. So don't settle. Don't be a victim. Yeah, I really like this. It's like a yeah, this is

we live in a fallen world and families are going to have problems. Make sure you're inserting compassion and repentance into the equation every day. Compassion for others, for yourself, try to repent, turn it around just every day. I think for me as a parent, if I can keep inserting compassion and repentance, I can have access to that healing power. I like to that Lily said, but it comes to a point where if it's toxic, you got to go. And that's Abraham just left. And Nephi after Lehigh died, just I have to go. I like that idea of a sweet spot. If it gets toxic, you don't have to stay.

But everything you just said, Hank, about compassion and everything. Where is that spot exactly? That's the challenge, finding the sweet spot. John, I tell my kids that all the time when they so and so hurt me, so and so hurt me. I'm trying to remember hurt people hurt people. There's something going on with them. Another thing I say is that healthy people never attack. And that's a good one for your kids too. And for all of us, but kids need to know that that Another thing I say is that healthy people never attack. And that's a good one for your kids too, for all of us, but kids need to know that.

People aren't in a good place when they're attacking. So let's, again, know what's going on here. And that's incredibly helpful if we realize that the only one who can really define us is God. So if we can go to God and let him reveal to us who we really are. We're safe. The other voices, however, well intended they are, are not gonna give us a perfect idea of who we are anyway,

as who sees us clearly but God. I don't let ourselves get defined by other people. And I really believe that that's what happens here in this dynasty. Is these people where they let themselves be defined by God, which doesn't mean there weren't still these hangups that show up every once in a while. And then we talk about Joseph comes into a tough situation. His mother is the loved one, but there has been all this tension in the family.

And he's already got these 10 brothers who are just poised to hate him. The one thing they've got going is that Rachel doesn't have children. And then she has the son. He didn't even have to do anything to be a his and a by word in the family. And then he's righteous. And Jacob loves him. It says he loved him because he was a child of his old age, but that's not the only reason. He loves him because he's a child of promise, because he's willing to accept the gospel of Jesus Christ and to live it. So Jacob, who's had, has all these other sons who are really not interested in that. You know, and I mean, think about it. They're surrounded by idolatry. This is a lonely path, not like today, where we have lots of good people if we choose to seek them out.

But they were on their own, even Laban, Rachel's and Leah's father had his little images. Remember, he has his idols and when he comes chasing after Jacob he wants them back And you're like right about it. You knew better and he did know better, but Anyway, so they're surrounded by this stuff all the time and the brothers all kind of came into it at one level or another And then they all hate jade joseph who then let's be clear He's about 17 by the time he's sold into slavery, but he's in a super mature or wise about handling those dreams. He has not read how to win friends and influence people.

But he had been a little diplomatic and maybe just told that to his father who didn't even like the second dream where the son of the moon bowed to his star as well, that his mother and father. And even Jacob was a little bit tweaked at that. And he's like, really? He's like, my mother and I bowed down to thee. But then it says that he remembered those things. He kept them.

So he knew that there was a prophecy coming or that, you know, in those dreams. And he knew that Joseph was this child of promise. He's a little irritated perhaps by the blunt nature of the dream. And Joseph's not very wise. He is not, I remember we were talking about this with his son, a daughter, mom, some of their kids, and my son turned to his kids and he goes, see, and I talk about that, don't I? You don't have to tell people everything.

That's actually good advice. Yeah. Sometimes we should keep our own counsel. I'm a doctor so I'm sympathetic to Joseph. I've always thought that, Lily, that this is probably a bad move on his part, but it doesn't warrant the response that he gets. Fair enough, right? Fair enough.

I mean, telling someone you dreams and being a little unwise does not warrant. We need to kill you, sell you whatever. We need to kill you. We need to kill you. We need to kill you. We need to kill you. We need to kill you. We need to kill you. Right. I'm telling you, some of your dreams and being a little unwise does not warrant. We need to kill you, sell you, whatever, get rid of you. Yeah. Let's kill him.

Yeah, it's a big response. And then you even wonder, I mean, at least I did. I'm like, you know, what was it? A good idea for Jacob to send him to go check on his promise. But was he really that unaware? You know, that, anyway, whatever the case is, there is prophecy to be fulfilled and God did have a plan. I want to mention this too, that God works through everybody. Righteous and unrighteous. He uses the brothers to accomplish an amazing

salvation of Israel and these tribes that become the covenant people of the Lord. It's pretty amazing how all of this is good God's economy. He sees so economical. We're just accomplished it this way, even though, as it says, and this is in Matthew 18, right, that it says, you know, there must needs be offenses, but we'll want to him by whom the offense come with. Like the Lord will use our behaviors good or bad to accomplish his purposes, but there will be an accountability for people who sin. Joseph is sold into slavery and that begins 13 years, give or take, of real trouble for Joseph.

There are tender mercies in the trouble, but this is real trouble. Let's mention the quote for a moment. I'm just going to say that, of course, the quote was a mark of Jacob's not just love, but acceptance of Joseph as the birthright son. Heuniply makes an interesting statement about this in some of his writings. He says, this was not just a coat of many colors. In fact, he says in the original text and so on. It doesn't really mention colors, not to ruin the musical for anybody, but the... he said it was the priesthood garment that had been handed down in the family, and it had marks in it. And he said instead of colors, it really is extra threads, extra embroidery that created the marks of the garment. So interesting.

And they say that when the brothers bring the garment to Jacob, stained with blood, that Jacob was blind by them. And what he felt were the marks of the garment. And that's why he knew it was Joseph's. It was a very powerful symbol to everybody that Joseph was the child of promise in this family and was worthy of that birthright.

You bring up Hugh Nibbli and it made me think of Alma chapter 46 where there's this really almost random story that if you read Genesis you don't get this in Genesis but Captain Moroni seems to have a story about Joseph's coat. He says, this is number 4623, Moroni said unto them, behold, we are a remnant of the seat of Jacob. We are a remnant of the seat of Joseph,

whose coat was rent by his brethren into many pieces. Now, behold, let us remember to keep the commandments of God and our garments, or our garments shall be rent by our brethren. And then he talks about this prophecy that's not in Genesis anywhere. This is verse 24. Let's remember the words of Jacob before his death for behold, he saw that a part of the remnant

of the code of Joseph was preserved and had not decayed. And he felt that was a sign that a remnant of the seed of Joseph would be preserved by the hand of God. And then I all of a sudden you brought up Hugh Nibbli and I thought, oh Hugh Nibbli talked about this very thing. He said that quote in the 10th century AD, I have no idea how to say this. Muhammad Ibn Ibrahim Atal-Abi, I'm sure I did not do that right, a Muslim scholar gathered legends about many ancient biblical figures. He preserved one account, not found anywhere else

about the code of Joseph, telling how it was torn and how a remnant remained undecayed and what that meant. That lower, Hugh Nibbli says, is preserved nowhere else except Alma 46. Nibbli said, described it as a quote, a test no forgery could pass. Anyway, a little shout out to the Book of Mormon and just kind of a side tangent. So maybe some of our listeners might find that interesting. I like it. I like it. And I think there is great symbolism in all that. Remember, it speaks through those symbols. That's that's beautiful connection.

I want to just talk about now why bad things happen to good people. As we talk about this next stage of Joseph's life. And he's so young too. He's young. You feel so bad for him, right? I just, and completely rejected by your family. I'm sure you had clients like this, Lily, I do get over that ever. This rejection of your siblings. But it's not easy. If it were easy, everybody would get better. So it's a journey, but again, there's healing in Christ. I know who the healer is. People are so kind. I want to do credit to the counselor sometimes. And I'm like, I know who the healer is. And you did the work. I'm happy to be a facilitator of that. It is such a privilege to do that.

But I know who the healer is. And I know we can heal. I know that ultimate healing comes in the resurrection. So we also need not to be impatient about it, because it's a journey we really can do a lot of healing. So don't give up. There needs to be this this hope in Christ, that is hope, of course, for a glorious resurrection, but also hope that our wounds will be healed. And I want to talk more about that kind of as we wrap up in a way because there are some really, really wonderful kind of culminating messages of hope that we should all take away from this story, right? Growing up with this story and watching the musical, it makes it so fun. I don't know how old I was before I realized wait that would be dramatic that would you sing your way through that

I love that too at listening to it in the song, it comes to that point. Children of Israel are never alone. I have been promised a land of my own. And I saw Doniaz and in Chicago do that. And it was fun to see somebody who was a believer. Remember the church? Yeah. They're singing that. And it was, it was a great moment.

I thought there's a little bit of testimony in the way he's belting that out right now. Continue here with why bad things happen to good people. I'm sure there's nobody listening who has ever had a bad thing happen to them. I can't imagine this is relevant, but let's go forward anyway. That's right. I fired side the other night and I asked it was a youth fire side of a lot of parents for there. And I said, look around the room at the adults. Raise your hand adults if things in your life turned out exactly the way you plan. And nobody raised their hand.

Well, isn't that the truth? Did you notice that? Yeah, I think that. Did you know, take a look? Well, they do. They do. Now, I think this is super important to understand that this is not a mistake.

This is the plan. And that's so incredibly important. And I'm sure you've all heard this question from students or people that you've counseled with as presidual leaders and the friends that come and say, like, why, you know, why? And they really get stuck in asking, why would this happen to me? Why would God allow this to happen to me? And that this is incredibly important to understand because otherwise it can really lead to bitterness. And sometimes we do see people that give bitter. I remember talking to a woman who went as a non-member to BYU. This was many years ago, and she joined the church where she was there, married a guy

that she met there in the temple, where the, had two children and her husband that she had married in the temple, had multiple affairs, and was finally exhumated and when she ended that divorce. So she came to see me at the end of that stage of her life and she said, I've only tried to do the right things. I loved the church. I loved the gospel. I joined. My family didn't want me to. I made sacrifices and obedience. I've built collings. I've stayed worthy. I've attended the temple. What does the Lord want? You know, and then my life just fell apart. And she was so bereft. You know. And she was just really at this quandary of like, why? Why? Why would this happen? Why does the Lord not? She said, all I ever

heard, or I forgot to say this, all I ever heard when I joined this church If you do what right what's right you'll be blessed If you if you obey the command that's you'll be blessed if you follow, you know Christ you'll be blessed and she said I That's not my my life I said yeah, it is It is but let's talk let's talk about about that because really need to reframe I've talked about this before. Reframing is one of our most powerful psychological tools.

Look again and see more clearly. Let it be opened unto you with eyes that see, ears that hear what it is. So I want to share this idea that is so powerful to me. I really love it. It comes from a book called Anti-Fragile, which I've read most of, but not all of, and but I did read the book that it was that first acquainted me with that Anti-Fragile book called The Cobbling of the American Mind. And it was written by Jonathan Height and another guy forget, but anyway, they're talking about how some of our generations seem

to be becoming weaker and more entitled and so on. But let's talk about something that they say and I'm going to read from that book. And I seem to lab explains how systems and people can survive the inevitable difficulties of life and like the immune system grow stronger in response. So we're talking about the introduction of a problem, but like our immune system, we can respond in ways that can actually strengthen us. Recognize that some things are anti-fragile.

Now, I'm going to pause here and explain that he gives some examples. He talks about China, which is made to be fragile. You drop it on a hard surface, it's going to break. And the other things are made to be more resilient, like plastic. So if you drop it on a hard surface, it's going to break. And the other things are made to be more resilient, like plastic. So if you drop it on a hard surface, it probably won't break. It's not great for the structural integrity of a plastic to be dropped on hard surfaces, but it's designed to resist breaking. And it probably won't.

If you do it enough, it might, but definitely made differently from China or glass. And then he says there are some things that are made to be antifragile, which as he says, means that they require stresses and challenges in order to learn adapt and grow. He says there are three examples here of things that are antifragile. They are created to optimize under stress. That's his point, that they don't fully optimize unless they are stressed. Muscle, he mentions. Use it or lose it with muscle, right?

If you don't use your muscles, they atrophy. Bone, and as we get older, they keep telling us you need to do weight bearing exercise, right? Walk and jog, putting some stress on those bones so that they can maintain their strength. His third example, muscle bone children. Now, that's a powerful thought. I love that thought.

And really, it's not just children. It's the human creature. The child of God is made anti-fragile. We are created to grow under stress and we don't optimize if we're not stressed. We just don't. We become weak and going on here with the quote from the book, systems that are anti-fragile become rigid, weak and inefficient when nothing challenges them or pushes them to respond vigorously. The modern obsession with protecting young people from feeling unsafe is we believe one of the several causes of the rapid rise in the rates of adolescent depression, anxiety and suicide. rates of adolescent depression, anxiety, and suicide. That's some powerful thinking right there.

And I believe it because God set up the world to be a big spiritual weight room. That's what it is. Like that we're gonna build spiritual muscle. It does what it is. And you're not gonna grow that muscle unless you lift some weight unless you resist.

That's famous thing from CS Lewis about resisting temptation. He said, no, none of us know that ultimate strength that it takes because all of us has given in at some point a temptation because we are imperfect and all fall short of the word God. And then we hopefully get in that path of repentance and stay in it, but Christ understood the full weight of it because he never gave in because he was lifting that weight. He was resisting. It's resistance training.

We know this. We understand how this works. That's how the muscle grows. Well, how do we think spiritual muscle grows? If we're wrapped in bubble wrap, if we're on some desert cruise somewhere, where everything's fine, we're healthy. There are no problems. Our family is totally functional. And we never get hurt. we never deal with disappointment or loss or disaster or injustice. Because that is a giant test in this life is how unfair it is. Joseph prime example. What do they ever do? Like he said, okay, maybe he could have kept those dreams to himself, but it did not

warrant the response just as you said, Hank. This is not commensurate with the offense. 13 years as a slave. No, I'm sorry, that's not fair. It's not fair. He's the good one. Why does all this happen? Because God knows we are made anti-fragile. Now, this is a hard self sometimes for me as a counselor, as I have a lot of people who come in and they have been kind of brainwashed by our society, that they're weak. Although I recognize that some people struggle, this is not about invalidating people's pain

because they're certainly can be chronic depression, there can be chronic anxiety. I understand that life is hard, but we can learn from those things and we can become stronger. We are meant to become stronger. That's the design of the plan. Joseph in these years becomes powerful and I don't mean just politically, which also happens to him. He becomes spiritually amazing. How do we see this? Because the Lord favored Joseph. Remember how many times it says

that in chapter 39? It keeps saying how people notice that about him. Like, Potiphar notices that everything he puts under Joseph's hand, prosperous, because the Lord was with Joseph. That's the phrase, I think the Lord was with Joseph. And why was he with Joseph? Because Joseph was obedient in spite of the unfairness of his life. And that's the key. That's the key is that we not let it knock us off our course and say like, well, you know, why should I bother being good? Because my life isn't fair. No, it's because my life isn't fair. And I choose to be good that the Lord can be with me and consecrate my affliction for my good. That's the problem. That's a plan. It's not to avoid affliction and again, not that we should be looking for trouble. Never, never look for trouble.

There will be enough. But as trouble comes, it's like, okay, now what am I going to do? Am I going to cave and just say, okay, forget it? I'm going to go out and get a drink. Or am I going to say, like, no, no, I'm going to get down on my knees more. I'm going to, I'm going to go out and get a drink. Or am I going to say, like, no, no, I'm going to get down to my knees more. I'm going to read study, pray, ponder. I'm going to reach for that confirming spirit that the Lord is with me, especially when it looks like he isn't. Do you remember this? There's a biosphere in which there is a protected environment to grow trees and bushes

and things and keep it protected and isolated. And then the trees died. And it was because, and they didn't realize this before, there was no wind. There was no resistance. That's right. They didn't develop the, what they called the stress, the stress would and the flexibility to deal with the wind and they died. So I keep thinking of what you said there is that some things are designed, they're made to grow under stress and pressure and they'll actually thrive that way. But you're right, as a parent, I don't want to, I want to protect my kids

from those things, right? If you would ask Jacob, he doesn't want this to happen to Joseph. That's right. And let's find a sweet spot again. There's a balance in here, right? So find a sweet spot, which is not that we throw our kids out of the bus or, you know, you got to deal with it. That's not necessary. But what is necessary is that we not run interference every time something wrong happens or unfair.

And that doesn't mean we don't talk, we support, we validate. But then we like, okay, therefore what? Remember that speech by Elder Oaks where he gave it to one of his brethren in the 12 and they came back with a question, therefore what, like what's the take away from your message here? I love that because that's how we can talk with our children and ourselves about that. Okay, now what? It is unfair. And I'm really really I grieve with you about that and I'm

supportive and we love you and we're sorry that you're hurt but now what? What is this to help you learn? How is this supposed to help you optimize to grow to become, to stretch your faith? I mean faith only grows in the dark. If you can see how it all turns out, there would be no need for faith, but faith is the power by which the worlds were created. So, is our beginning faith the same as the faith at the end? I mean, look at Enix faith that we talked about a while ago, where it was so great that mountains could be moved and rivers could change course and the lions were in the wilderness how great his faith was. So, is our faith there yet? Well, guess what? It's going to take a little more time in the Valley of the Shadow. And if we respond correctly, our faith can become that faith

by which worlds were created. And that's the journey to stretch our faith. And that only can happen in the dark. The letters from Mormon to his son, Maroni, where he recounts everything that's going on, talk about dysfunction. And they're warring among themselves. And then he, this great wine, he says, notwithstanding their hardness, let us continue faithful.

And it's notwithstanding all of that out there, all of that bad stuff that's going on. Therefore what? Let us continue faithful. That, yeah, that's all going on. Yep, you? Let us continue faithful. Yeah, that's all going on. Yep. You're right. Uh-huh. It is. What are you going to do about it? I will continue faithful. Son, let's continue faithful. And I love that letter. And that reminds me of of Joseph, notwithstanding all this going on, Joseph, what are you going to do? And he, he continues faithful at 17 years old. Because I know the end of Joseph's story,

I don't feel so bad for him. Because I'm like, oh, it's gonna work out. Don't worry, it's gonna work out. I just wait till chapter 45, it's gonna work out. That's right, it's gonna be good. But he doesn't know that. He doesn't know his future. He just knows that he's been through serious pain, and it just keeps happening.

It just keeps coming, not knowing that chapter is coming where the healing comes. And as you say, he starts to rise to the top of Potiphar's house, which is like, okay, a much more fortunate situation than starting at the bottom. And then Potiphar's wife pulls her horrible tentative or whatever, and Joseph doesn't fall for it. But he's blamed. Again, incredible injustice. What did I do? I'm the good guy.

I did the right thing. And as we have heard, no good deed goes unpunished sometimes. And we feel like, here I'm doing the right thing. I'm getting kicked in the teeth for it. How often does that happen in life? What happens a lot? It happens a lot. We're trying to be good and do the right

things and we still get kicked on the teeth. You're the honest one and everybody else cheats on the test. You get the bow of score. So are you going to give up on that? Are you going to keep being honest? I mean, those are the tests that that's what they said in Abraham, right? We will prove them now here with whether they will obey under pressure, under stress, under the yoke of injustice. I used to tell my center kids Life has to be unfair or it would have no meaning. What if every time you did something right? You got a hundred dollar bill in your pocket You know something really motivating and then every time you did something wrong you got zapped by lightning Not enough to kill you, but enough to hurt you really badly. How often would we do bad things? We'd all be helping the little ladies across the street,

one little little lady now, but anyway. I'm gonna be, you know, we would be helping people in doing good service all the time because we would be instantly rewarded for it. It would be just, and every time we did something wrong, you know, we get zapped pretty badly. Well, on a bad day, it might take us twice, and then we would stop doing bad things,

but not because we were choosing virtue, not because we're building spiritual muscle because any idiot can keep their hand off an electrified fence. That doesn't mean anything. It really doesn't mean anything. So God sets up this perfect plan. And then He tells us about it. This is the amazing thing is that we read these scriptures sometimes and then we still are betrayed into thinking that it's not right that life is unfair.

And you're like, well, did you notice the story about Nephi and how his brothers kept trying to kill him? Is tied to the mast for three days. Do you remember Jolpa who was like said to be a perfect man, which we know doesn't mean fully perfected, but a really good guy, a really good guy. And life hammers him and even his friends turn against him and say, you must be a sinner. And even his friends turn against him and say, you must be a sinner. And even his wife comes to him and says, why don't you just curse God and die? Just give up. And what does he say? I mean, such an example. And you know what, Job is a great book

to read when we're suffering. It really is. It's there's so much good stuff in there. And what does he say? Now, speak as to one of the foolish women. Shall we accept good from the hand of the Lord and not accept evil. Another price he says, the Lord give it and the Lord take it away. Bless it be the name of the Lord. It's like right after the servants come in and say, hey, it just lost this and hey, you just lost this. And right after that, he's well, Lord gives Lord takes away. It's like, okay, that's that's remarkable. It's beautiful. And that can be you and that can be me. We can be those people. We can be like Joseph. And you're right Hank. He didn't see the end of

the story. We know the end of the story. So it doesn't hurt quite so much like you said. There's a big finish coming. It's gonna work down. It's gonna be really great. And you know what? There is a big finish coming. And that's what we need to hold on to. God fulfills his promises. And all that that woman heard about when you do what's right, your blessed, it's true. Just our timing is off. Our expectation of the timing is off. Our blessed worth perspective, yeah. That's right. Here's the sad thing is that too many of us waste our suffering because we just put our heads down and hope that it passes quicker rather than slower. And we might miss the opportunity to build some spiritual muscle. What is it that the Lord wants to teach me here?

And I'll tell you, some things that he's always giving us an opportunity to develop our faith, we can increase our faith in those times. We reach for that belief that God will fulfill his promises because he has said so and my faith is going to be set in that way and grow and stretch. I'm stretching my faith. Tell you a little story. I was going through a tough time and interestingly, I don't even remember what the challenge was right now, but I remember where I was really struggling. I took a walk and I was praying on this walk about kind of casual prayers. I'm thinking about this problem and looking for some insight and relief.

And the verse came into my mind at section 90 verse 24 that says, um, search diligently, pray always and be believing. And all things shall work together for that good. If you walk up rightly and remember the cabinet, my first response was sort of an incredulous all things like really like this. It just gonna work together for my good. I'm hoping to survive it. You're telling me this is gonna be like for I mean that's a threat and I'm kind of like, really all things. The spirit came back that day. I'm not saying it was a voice, but it was powerful.

And it was like, Lily, either it's the truth or God's a liar, choose one. And I was like, do we chase it? Because I made that choice a long time ago. As did the rest of us. We know he's not a liar. But that day, I needed to stretch my faith. I had faith. I had faith, but it didn't stretch over this particular trial

because I was struggling. So I thought I need to stretch my faith in this area and believe that this will work together for my good. I mean, can you imagine the promise of that verse? All things, I shall work together for that good. All things, that doesn't lie. So when we can't see, that's when we have a chance to believe, that's what faith is, is believing when we can't see.

We don't see the end of our personal story, except that God does give us a pretty good preview, which is that, you know what, it's going to be great. I have not seen, either ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love him. Trust me on this, it's going to be amazing. Hold on. Hold on. Don't let go of that iron rod. Don't let go of your faith. Stretch your faith. Keep growing. Another thing that can always grow and struggles is patience. We can grow our faith. We can grow our patience. Long suffering is nobody's favorite virtue, but you know, it's important to God. Joseph Smith gets that beautiful message. Obviously, he had the experience of being for that good. So there's a purpose to pain. And here's what I see. I see that there are kind of these three roads that we can take when we're struggling, when we're suffering, when life is unfair.

One of the roads is anger and bitterness. And sometimes maybe we dance into that road a little bit sometimes because life is hard and we might feel a little rebellious about that sometimes and that's pretty human. Even Joseph Smith who was saying where art thou? I mean Nephi with his beautiful song of Nephi, Richard Mann that I am. It's understandable that sometimes we might experience a little bit of that, but don't stay there That's that's a really big mistake to stay in that path of bitterness that taking it long enough now I'm dishing it out. I'm just gonna be come part of the problem now

Lily reminds me of Genesis 37 that after Jacob learns of Joseph's Seeming death he refuses to be comforted 35 He refuses to be comforted. That's true. That's true. That's true. His sons and his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. He says, I will go into my grave onto my son mourning. Yes, it's easy to fall in there.

I mean, it's real, it's real. And trouble causes pain and it's human to feel that. Then there's this other road that I think a lot of really good people get stuck on and it's a lot better than being angry and bitter forever. I think it's a misconception about the concept of enduring to the end. I think we believe sometimes incorrectly that that means I just have to just hang on which, okay, yes, hang on. But it is, it's kind of putting our head down and just praying that the storm passes quickly rather than slowly. That's better, but it's not enough. The best path is this path of really developing as anti-fragile children of God

and becoming more powerful in our faith, more powerful in our convictions, to learn more, be more patient, more, think about beautiful him, more holiness, give me. It's all of those things, more like the, all of this helped me in this struggle to polish off some more ref edges. Remember Joseph Smith statement about I am like a rough stone thrown down the mountain, all hell breaking off one rough chapter.

That doesn't sound like fun to me, but that is the process. That is the process is to be polished by our afflictions. But if we just put our head down and try to hang on, sometimes we really miss out on the growth. So choose this path of growth. What is this supposed to teach me? If we go to the Lord and say like, what shall I learn? How can I become more willing to submit to all things that the Father see it fit to inflict upon me? Not because he's a mean guy, but because he loves me so much and he knows what I can be when I'm refined. So he's not gonna let me come through to this world and sit on a desert cruise ship and have no troubles because they won't grow.

I'm here to grow. I'm here to become like the Savior himself. How do we think that was going to happen? At the spa? Yeah. Our friend, Brad Wilcox says, God, who is asking nothing of us is making nothing of us. Exactly right. Exactly right. Exactly right.

So powerful stuff here in the life of Joseph. I mean, these takeaways are life changing if we do it right. Chapter 38, Snuck in here in the middle of the story of Joseph that has a very different tone to it, where Judah, who is also born of good-reparents, but has chosen a whole different life path. And first of all, it doesn't keep his promise to his daughter-in-law, whose husband dies, due to son dies, and then he's promised the next son, and he dies too, without giving her a child. And then he's supposed to give the youngest son to the daughter-in-law when he's able to marry, and he doesn't. So the girl's bitter, not great choices that she makes either because she

wants a child, so badly she disguises herself as a harlot and Judah comes by and hires her. So then she does have twins by Judah and then he's ready to to punish her because she's not married and here she's having a chat, but did he look in the mirror and say that like, you know, I'm not really behaving myself either. Yeah. This is an awkward family moment. Talk about this function. Here we are again. I'd like to have a chapter about you like this. There's a Stephen Covey-like guy named Jim Rohn. He was saying, listen, in the Bible, we find examples in warnings. An example says, do what this person did. A warning says, don't do what this person did.

And then the funny thing he said was, if your name ever ends up in a book, make sure it's an example, not a warning. You know, try not to be the cautionary tale. Yeah, I know. This is the cautionary tale. And it's interesting that in the middle of the story of Joseph, all of a sudden, we're plopped in this 38.

Wait, what do they tell us this for? And maybe it's to contrast a little bit that, I mean, in the Come Follow Me manual, it says, this account of Joseph's strength when he faced with temptation is proceeded by a very different account about his older brother Judah found a Genesis 38. What do chapters 37, 38, and 39 taken together teach you about chastity? So I like that phrase you used cautionary tale. Cautionary tale. There are lots of them, you know. It's that don't do this. I don't do this one. Don't do this one. So yeah, Judah makes an attempt at me for sure. He's not living a chase life. He's a hurl. He's interested. So his whole orientation is wrong. He wasn't, he wasn't even like putting a tough situation like Joseph is. You know, he's looking for trouble.

Judah's looking for trouble. Joseph's not looking for trouble. Trouble comes to him and he resists the temptation. I love that it says that he fled. Sometimes it's just so important to get onto safer ground. This is not the time to try to teach the first discussion. It's a part of first one. I try to share with you some principles of this great God that we worship. No, he's just, I'm getting out of here. I'm getting out of here. I think that's so, I used to talk to my children about this

because we want to be missionaries, but we also don't want our children to be an unsafe or unholy ground. We want them to stand on holy ground. So I used to talk to them about turf. I say it's all about turf. You need to be on safe turf. And when you're in school, if you're in a safe turf,

yes, you're friendly to everybody. You can be an example. You can invite them to safe turf, to come to activities at our house because it's supervised and we're not going to have liquor, drugs, whatever. So it's going to be safe turf and you can invite your non-member friends or to a church activity. It's safe turf. But why would you go to the ear bust?

That's not safe turf. And there are a lot of places where parents don't supervise very well. So it's not that we want to just exclude ourselves from non-members. That's, of course, how can we be a light to the world? How can we be the salt to the earth without mingling and living in the world we live in and being friendly to everybody and inviting all

but stay on safe turf. And that's what Joseph does. When he's on dangerous turf, I'm getting out of here. I'm going to safe turf You know what I love about this is it became unsafe I he didn't know it was unsafe and I love the story that elder Gary Stevenson tells about I want to say 2012 general conference the young man that wants to be in a prestigious study abroad Program in Japan. But when the theme for the youth was, stand in holy places, I kind of retold the story about, well, is that a place?

Well, it seemed okay at first. And then he got that feeling I need to leave. And the urgency of that in that story is so dramatic because he says, we got to go. One of the friends tries to persuade him to stay because they're passing around marijuana on top of this building. You guys do what you want. I'm leaving.

He goes down one flight of stairs to the elevator and in the other elevators that opens in the Japanese police run up the stairs. And I'm thinking, if he's at the top of the stairs right there, that's totally different. But he's by the other elevators. I mean, you can imagine him getting in doorclose down, down, down, down, down. Right. So the idea of if you ever get that feeling,

I shouldn't be here. Genesis 3912, he fled and got him out. What did you say? It's not time to teach, try to teach the first. All of a sudden, it was not a holy place. Get out of there now and he did. And he's still blamed. He's still blamed and he doesn't have a way to defend himself or be believed. But that's injustice of life is everywhere. But like I used to have my seminary kids, if it were fair, there would be no test.

The only way we can develop virtue is by doing the right thing in all hazards, as Joseph Smith said. That's what builds that spiritual muscle, that faith that can move mountains, that power in the priesthood where we access the powers of heaven, we can draw upon those powers. We can become instruments in the hand of God

because he can trust us. In fact, let me put it this way. I was talking to a young person a while back. So many of these kids are just being so confused about sexuality and so on. And she had friends in high school that were like, you know, bisexual or asexual. They were identifying in some different ways. She felt like she was kind of a part of that and still was a believer. And she was trying to find her way, but she was pretty confused.

Told me her thoughts about it first. And I said, well, you don't have to agree with me. This is a personal journey, but I said, this is how I see it. So we have this amazing God, who is omnipotent. He has all power. And like any wonderful parent, he wants to share what he has with his children.

He wants us to be able to have that power, but he knows that power destroys people who can't handle it. We have to meet certain conditions in order to be able to handle that power. You don't get a chainsaw to a five-year-old. I don't care how strong or good that five-year-old is. He's been to do some damage with it, and he could kill himself and hurt others in the way. So you don't give power to people who can't handle it. So God says, here are the conditions on which I can give you my power. And it means time in the spiritual weight room. That's what it means. Build your spiritual strength so that against all temptations, against all trouble, when you can't see how this can possibly turn out well,

but you still believe that I can be with you, and I will fulfill my promises in due season. You get to a point where that power can be granted. And he is kind, he gives us these a little moments, so if you know we have, we make covenants, they're all covenants of power, and they're all based on conditions, and they're all conditions of obedience.

Harness the natural man, because that natural man is going to take that power and do damage. But if you can harness the net for man to consistent obedience, boringly consistent obedience, set the clock by your obedience. People can set the clock because you will do the right thing at all hazards in all circumstances. No matter how unfair life is, you will continue to be worthy. Then that power will come to you. At appropriate times and appropriate ways. And finally, we will have access to all that power.

She thought about that for a moment about how God really does have the right to establish parameters through which he will prepare us if we choose to become that best version of ourselves, that person who can be in control of their natural man, that can be trusted and safe with power. Then this plan allows us to partake in that invitation in an amazing way and become ultimately like God Himself. So as she thinks about this, she said, and she kind of surprised me.

She said, wow, didn't think I was going to agree with what you said, but I actually agree with all of that. And she said, I think I've been wasting my time. I think I've been spending my time pursuing the things that are not going to really give me a chance to become what I can be. And that was such a beautiful response. And I'd give her all the credit because she could see how this really could change the meaning of her life. This could make her life purposeful and ultimately fulfill the measure of her creation. So hope she will pursue that path.

I hope everybody can think about that and consider that these terms are set by God because they protect us from the inappropriate or dangerous use of power. They're non-negotiable. These are his terms and we get to opt-in or opt-out and it's such a wonderful blessing if we opt into this path where God can then give us everything he wants to give us. Joseph here in Genesis 39. First, he says in verse eight, after Potiphar's wife comes to him, he says, listen, I am trusted by people. I like that.

In the moment of temptation, look, this will not just hurt me and you. It will hurt other people. I am a trusted person. I'm not willing to give up that trust. Then he says in verse 9, how can I sin against God? And really if anybody has an excuse to say, what's God done for me? It could be Joseph, right? I mean, Judah,

he has no thought for God. And yet Joseph's been through years of trials and difficulties here. And he's like, I can't do this to God where he could have every reason and say, well, what's God ever done for me? And let me make a little distinction. I like to distinguish between reasons and excuses because we all have reasons to screw up, but none of us have excuses. We don't have excuses.

God is good and God has put the light of Christ and eats one of us. We might have reasons, but they're not really very good excuses. Yes. And what is God tell Joseph, the Son of Man have to send it below them all. Are it so greater than he be?

Really think you have an excuse. You might have your reasons. They're not really excuses. So what do we want? And maybe he's vulnerable because he's been through so much difficulty, but he's still. But he's still.

Yeah. Only. It's been lonely, but he's still. But he's been lonely. Yeah. It's been lonely, but he won't do it. And then, verse 10, this isn't a one-time thing. Day after day, he is withstanding this. I'm just so impressed. I think there's so much we can apply to our lives of endurance, day after day after day. Remember that you're trusted, that people love you and trust you. That the Lord wants to give you everything he has.

I love that Joseph has lines. He will not cross. I just think that's beautiful integrity. One of the things I love about chapter 39 is that this is this is the place where we hear this phrase again and again starting back the first two after he sold, you know, the hands of the Israelites and the Lord was with Joseph The Lord was with Joseph and look at verse 21. This is after he's thrown in prison but the Lord was with Joseph and then look at the end of the chapter that the keeper of the prison Gives everything over to Joseph to handle because the Lord was with him Let's just make sure that we understand the connections here because it's not because

God just liked Joseph better God doesn't do that and he is so clear about that I am no Respector of persons. I love all my children, but I have no respectors of persons So why is the Lord with Joseph and the only answer is that it's because Joseph was with the Lord. Joseph chose the Lord again and again. He chose to be obedient. In their face, as we were just talking about of all this affliction, all this injustice, God was still chosen by Joseph. He keeps choosing God. He uses his agency every time. I want all to have this invitation, but only the ones who keep choosing God are able to receive this amazing blessing that God is with us. The Lord is with us. And

even in our difficulties, there will be tender mercies. We can prosper, and we can be refined. We can become the best version of ourselves. That's what's happening to Joseph. He's becoming a better and better version of himself. Antifragile. Please join us for part two of this podcast.