Follow Him: A Come, Follow Me Podcast - How do I find a spouse? : followHIM Favorites

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

Hank Smith and John Bytheway answer a question from Genesis 24-27.Show Notes (English, French, Spanish, Portuguese): https://followhim.co/episodesFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/followhimpodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/followhimpodcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/FollowHimOfficialChannelThanks to the followHIM team:Steve & Shannon Sorensen: Executive Producers/SponsorsDavid & Verla Sorensen: SponsorsDr. Hank Smith: Co-hostJohn Bytheway: Co-hostDavid Perry: ProducerKyle Nelson: MarketingLisa Spice: Client Relations, Show Notes/TranscriptsJamie Neilson: Social Media, Graphic DesignWill Stoughton: Rough Video EditorKrystal Roberts: Transcripts/Language Team/French TranscriptsAriel Cuadra: Spanish TranscriptsIgor Willians: Portuguese Transcripts"Let Zion in Her Beauty Rise" by Marshall McDonaldhttps://www.marshallmcdonaldmusic.com/products/let-zion-in-her-beauty-rise-pianoPlease rate and review the podcast.

Hello everyone, welcome to follow him favorites. You know the deal this year. John and I take on a single question from this week's lesson. John the lesson this week is Genesis 24 through 27 and we've got a difficult question for you that I hear for my students all the time, which is how do I find a spouse? Abraham has a servant who goes and finds a spouse for Isaac and brings her home and just sets her right in front of Isaac. Like how great would this be for those who are thinking,

I've got to find somebody on this planet to marry and be an eternal companion? Why can't I have a servant like Abraham does who's gonna do this for me? What would you say to a student who says, how do I find a servant like Abraham does who's gonna do this for me. What would you say to a student who says, how do I find a spouse? Oh, I wish it were an exact science. It's so different now.

I like to think that marriage is one of the only commandments that you cannot obey by yourself. That agency is so important. And if an inter-range marriage here, that's a totally different time place part of the world. But for us today, you have to find somebody who's willing to marry you and you're willing to marry them. The only other command I can think of that requires someone else's agency is multiply and replenish the earth and you're supposed to get those in the right order, right? So it's a totally different type of thing.

And I think sometimes the best you can do is just be where you're supposed to be doing what you ought to be doing and ask Heavenly Father to help put somebody in the same space where you are somehow and in your school and your ward and your neighbor, whatever, because no, it's not an exact science. With Isaac and Rebecca, maybe the Lord had a special interest in that working out the way that it did. It's a great question. I want to hear what you have to say, Hank. Yeah, it's difficult.

Do you remember Section 88 of the Doctrine and Covenants where the Lord says, light, cleave, authentic light, right? Intelligence, cleaves to intelligence, truth, cleaves to truth. So I've always told my students, if you want someone who is full of light and truth and intelligence to be attracted to you, you must be full of light and truth and intelligence. So I think we control what we can control, which is ourselves and our own choices. So we fill our lives full of good things and then we trust that the Lord will bring the person He wants to in the right time and the right place.

I found that fairly early in my life. I was just 22 when I got married, but yet you were a little bit older if I remember. I was 33 the day I got married. And so it was a good time though, because it really made me wrestle with some things. And there's a YouTube, I guess, on the Education Week channel, a talk that I gave, I think they titled it,

Who When and Why We Mar we marry or something like that. That was my attempt to answer this very question. The funny thing is people that have seen it seeming out and said, oh, you're older. So it was recorded a while ago. I loved some of the things that the prophets have said about what falling in love is, because mostly the database we use to figure out what falling in love is. Because mostly the database we use

to figure out what falling in love is, is Hollywood and songs on the radio, which is a terrible place to go to figure out how to do life. I went to Nephi and Mr. Goen, just went and did and that was over, but he was large in stature. And so, so for us, it's a little harder, but I love what you said.

Light, cleave it to light. Be where you're supposed to be doing what you're supposed to be doing. Be out there. I know for a fact the Lord can put compatible people in the same room somehow. I like what Michael Wilcox says. A guest that we've had. He says, this isn't a decision that God will make for you. You still need to make it, but he can get a good people in the same space.

Yeah, that's what I would say too. We spend too much time trying to control things, we can't control. We're going to end up frustrated and disillusioned and maybe even kind of jaded and angry. If we say I can control me, then I'm going to be the best possible version of me I can be. And I'm going to be happy where I am. I've never seen someone unhappy single all of a sudden become happy married, right? Happy single people make happy married people. So I would say find happiness in

the situation you're in. Be the best version of yourself you can possibly be and then we trust the Lord, right? We trust the Lord. The right thing will come at the right time. And it's not an exact science. We all know wonderful talented, righteous, incredible single adults. And so if there were a perfect formula, we, we'd share it. But I don't think there, I think there's, there's some explanations that may just have to wait. But like you said, Hank, love that idea. In fact, I wrote an article for the new era once called, I have no friends by John, by the way, kid came to me and said,

how do I make people like me? And I really were, I thought, well, I don't know if you make people like you, but you can make yourself more likable. And that's kind of what you are talking about, Hank, don't try to find the best person, but try to be the best person that you can be. Let Heavenly Father work as magic. Let him see if he can get you both in the same space. Don't have a perfect answer, but I have perfect faith that things will work out. Things will work out. Sometime. Yeah. I like that, John. Things will work out for you. So be optimistic, right? Be optimistic. Be hopeful. And you never know the miracle you might be looking for could

be just around the corner, but you won't find it if you don't, the miracle you might be looking for could be just around the corner, but you won't find it if you don't, if you stop turning corners, if you stop the journey. So keep moving forward. The President Hinckley would say with a cheerful heart, with the optimism, accentuate the positive, and things will work out. He did this. What would I do if I were you? This whole poem at BYU1.

What would I do if I were you? If marriage didn't come through? I'd be sad, but I'd say there's no time to stew, get busy, find something important to do. And I think that marriage is more likely to come as a byproduct of pursuing other useful activities and goals. And that's right out of an end sign talk. I think it was Elder Carmack. John Carmack, then by a direct and pointed campaign, he said, it's more likely to come as a result of pursuing other activities and go, a byproduct. You're out there, you're doing good things, you meet somebody that way.

So I like that. I think one more time we probably ought to say, John, that maybe you don't end up married in this life. But we trust the Lord even in those situations, knowing that great Latter-day Saints have come before that have never been married and done incredible work on the planet. You don't have to be married to do incredible, good, important things. I love to say that Moroni's greatest work was accomplished while he was a single adult.

That Maroni that stands on top of the temples. I'm alone. My father's been killed in battle. He is the one who abridges the book of ether, puts it in the book, Mormon writes those remaining chapters of Maroni, last two chapters of Mormon, greatest work while he was a single adult. Yeah. I remember he said, I have not friends nor withered ago and I remind him of my high school years. I had not friends nor withered ago.

Well, we hope that you will join us each week for follow him favorites and come join us on our full podcast. It's called Follow Him. You're going to love the podcast this week. It's with Dr. Camille Franck Olson, who just does a really incredible job. So, let John and I help you get your scripture study in. But if not, we'll see you next week for Follow Him Favorites. Thank you.