followHIM - 2 Nephi 1-2 Part 1 • Dr. Lili Anderson • Feb 5 - Feb 11 • Come Follow Me

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

What would be included in your Last Lecture? Dr. Lili De Hoyos Anderson addresses Lehi’s final lessons for his family and the importance of building Zion, awakening from spiritual slumber and strengthening one another in relationships.Show Notes (English, French, Spanish, Portuguese): https://followhim.co/book-of-mormon-episodes-1-13/Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/follow-him-a-come-follow-me-podcast/id1545433056YouTube: https://youtu.be/iBIXTdBLQMEInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/followhimpodcastSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/15G9TTz8yLp0dQyEcBQ8BY00:00 Part 1–Dr. Lili De Hoyos Anderson00:30 Teaser to the episode01:21 Dr. Anderson shares overview of today’s podcast03:01 Bio of Dr. Anderson05:54 Zion and the Gathering of Israel09:04 A land consecrated 10:57 The Bible and Jesus Christ12:41 Unique characteristics of North America16:33 Freedom and rights and the Restoration19:14 Lehi exhorts his children to wake up21:17 Covering sins25:40 Fearing other’s perceptions29:19 Divine discontent32:12 Hank shares a story of General Conference experience34:30 To cover37:45 Tips for teaching younger audiences38:15 Providing for families, men, and boys32:14 Inspiration and adaptability44:06 Trusting God and service in marriage49:57 The importance of the ideal and adapting when we don’t meet it54:55 A lesson from elephants57:30 President Russell M. Nelson urges us to awake59:06 Spouses building one another1:04:52 End of Part 1–Dr. Lili De Hoyos AndersonThanks to the followHIM team:Steve & Shannon Sorensen: Cofounder, Executive Producer, SponsorDavid & Verla Sorensen: SponsorsDr. Hank Smith: Co-hostJohn Bytheway: Co-hostDavid Perry: ProducerKyle Nelson: Marketing, SponsorLisa Spice: Client Relations, Editor, Show NotesJamie Neilson: Social Media, Graphic DesignAnnabelle Sorensen: Creative Project ManagerWill Stoughton: Video EditorKrystal Roberts: Translation Team, English & French Transcripts, WebsiteAriel Cuadra: Spanish Transcripts"Let Zion in Her Beauty Rise" by Marshall McDonaldhttps://www.marshallmcdonaldmusic.com

Hello, my friends. Welcome to another episode of Follow Him. My name's Hank Smith. I'm your host. I'm here with my joyful co-host, John, by the way. John, men are that they might have joy. And I would say that about you. You are joy. And there are days when I do. There are days that you might. That I might have joy. That you might have joy. That you might have joy. It's not guaranteed joy, but it's good. You can choose joy. Yeah.

John, we're in the first two chapters of 2 Nephi. What are we looking forward to today? I think they used to have a lecture series at BYU called Last Lecture. Like, if this is your last chance to talk to people, what would you say? And this is Lehi's like, gather everybody around. I'm going to give you some final words that I never want you to forget. Well, that goes on to 2 Nephi 3 as well. But today we're just looking at 1 and 2, but it's interesting to see what he chooses to talk about in that final advice. So I'm looking forward to that.

As you look at the Book of Mormon, there are certain chapters that stand out above the others, and 2 Nephi 2 is right there. John, we are joined by a guest that we have had on the show many times, and our listeners absolutely adore her. Dr. Lily Anderson is here. Lily, only two chapters today, but wow, a lot in them. What are we going to talk about? As John said, this is Lehi's last admonition and testimony, and I do remember that last lecture series, and it does make us think, what would I say to my posterity at the end of my life? The last chance I had to speak to a class. Powerful topics here. As you mentioned, chapter two is amazing. There are some little gems in chapter one, too. I would say that we get some particular warnings to his sons and by extension to all men about how to break the bonds of sin and how to change your life if that's what you want to do.

I would say that this message on the purpose of opposition and affliction is very powerful because that's relevant to all of us. A deep testimony of the Holy Messiah, which is beautiful, beautiful. He talks about his grace and truth, and there's a lot to say about that. And other, honestly, valuable little gems that I'm ready to delve into, including how to become a non-victim Christian. My desire always is to apply these things, and Nephi is going to invite us in a few chapters to liken these things into ourselves. I like hearing it in this context, but I like thinking about, therefore, what does this allow me to take away and do in my own life?

Excellent, Lily. This is the richness of the Book of Mormon. Every chapter is special. I don't want to say the other chapters aren't, but 2 Nephi 1 and 2, these last words of Lehi, they're special. There's something about them that can really impact your life, like you said, if you want them to. John, Lily is not new to the show, and I'm guessing most of our listeners are very excited, looking forward to this. We might have a few who are thinking, what? What have I been missing all this time?

Tell our listeners about Lily. Yes, Dr. Anderson has been on our podcast several times. She's a licensed clinical social worker. She has a full-time private practice in individual marriage and family counseling. She has eight children, 37 grandchildren, and a great grandchild. And we have more about her background on our social media website. She's been working on a book. She was telling us about healthy boundaries, that non-victim Christian idea, which I love. And also she has a Choosing Glory podcast that I hope our listeners know about and

probably have already listened to, I hope. So we're really glad to have you, Dr. Anderson. Thanks for coming back. Nice to be here. Lily, tell us just briefly about this boundaries book that you're working on. I think this is a crucial topic. Yeah. I feel like almost everybody that I speak to clinically and in other settings as well really need to know how God wants us to become non-victims and maintain our Christianity, to not be victim or victimizer, which too often is the conundrum. I'm either taking it or I'm dishing it out. And there really is another way that God has given us to address chronic difficulties in our lives, difficult relationships, difficult situations. And it is this path of having healthy boundaries.

It's scriptural. So I'm very excited to get that done. It's been delayed. Talk about that a little bit later when we get into that non-victim Christian application, which comes right out of 2 Nephi. At least there's a tie in here that it's going to be fun to talk about. Awesome. I have to say that if anybody is looking for an uplifting, powerful educational experience, go back to some of the episodes we've done with Lily in the past.

Doctrine and Covenants 49 and 50. We were in Genesis with the story of Joseph of Egypt. We did Daniel, the book of Daniel. We did last year, Matthew six and seven. And every time Lily, you're, you're like Hank Aaron. It's a home run every single time, not to set you up for too much pressure today, but I'm guessing we're going to be just fine. Let me read to you from the come follow me manual. And then let's dive in Lily. And this is again, second, if I 2, free to choose liberty and eternal life through the great mediator. And this is how it opens. If you knew that your life was coming to an end, what final message would you want to share with the people you love most? When the

prophet Lehi felt he was nearing the end of his life, he gathered his family together one last time. He shared with them what heavenly father had revealed to him. He bore testimony of the Messiah. He taught gospel truths he cherished to the people he cherished. He talked about liberty, obedience, the fall of Adam and Eve, redemption through Jesus Christ, and joy. Not all of his children chose to live by what he taught. None of us can make these choices for our loved ones, but we can teach and testify of the Redeemer who makes us free to choose liberty and eternal life.

What a great opener to these two chapters. Lily, how do you want to start this? Should we open up 2 Nephi 1 or do we need to talk beforehand? Let's open up 2 Nephi 1. I think there are like three highlights that I'm going to focus on today. Lehi really talks a lot about this land of promise that they have come to. And there's some really important things about that. Second, he asks them to awake from a deep sleep. And that

is an important idea to me, certainly clinically, but spiritually. And third, to arise from the dust and be men. Oh my goodness, there's a lot of other wonderful stuff here, but let's look at that. Start right here at verse five. He said, Notwithstanding our afflictions, we have retained a land of promise, a land which is choice above all other lands. Now, let's be clear. There are many wonderful countries and wonderful citizens of all these countries. We know that Zion can be established anywhere now. It's no longer come to Utah like it was in the early days of the gathering of Israel and the beginning of the church. But there is something special about this land that is good to talk about. Again, this isn't about ethnocentrism.

This is about recognizing that God has an order and he does things in certain ways and he does designate certain people. He designates certain places and certain events to happen in his orderly way. And this has been a land of promise. We're going to look at that a little bit. Let's go on. A land which the Lord God hath covenanted with me should be a land for the inheritance of my seed. Yea, the Lord hath covenanted this land unto me and to my children forever, and also all those who should be led out of other countries by the hand of the Lord. And as we said, for a long time, it was gathered at the mountaintops, right? And then I, Lehi, prophesy that there shall none come into this land, save they should be brought by the hand of the Lord, which is fascinating, especially in our day with some things that are happening. Seven,

wherefore this land is consecrated unto him whom he shall bring. Now, my parents were in that group. My dad is Mexican, my mother French. Now, my parents were in that group. My dad is Mexican, my mother French. Now, both passed away, but they came to this land. And my mother specifically, in France, they were in a tiny little branch with like seven people, including the missionaries. Maybe it was eight with the missionaries. And they went from Orléans, where my mother grew up, to Paris to hear Heber J. Grant, who had come to speak to the members in France. And in Paris, Heber J. Grant, who was the president of the church at that time, said, come to Utah, come to Zion. It took them like nine years. But that's why my mother came to Utah

and met my dad, who had been told by his mission president to go to BYU after his mission, and he didn't know what BYU was. It's a beautiful story. They really were brought by the hand of the Lord. And that's the foundation of my family. Now, they loved their countries. We love France a great deal. I love Mexico. I still have a lot of family there. So we can love our countries. At my dad's funeral, we actually had a Mexican flag on the right and an American flag on the left of his casket because he loved both of these countries so much. So my point is, let's not get offended that God has said America is a choice land. Let's recognize that there are things foreordained by God for everyone, but that there is something special here. And let's not skip it because there are valuable

things about recognizing this. So verse seven, this land is consecrated unto whom he shall bring, I just read that, and if it so be that they shall serve him, now this is the condition, according to the commandments which he hath given it shall be a land of liberty unto them. That's so important. Having a land of liberty is something special, and it's a beacon to the world and can bless all kinds of worlds. As we know, many countries have copied the Constitution of the United States or used that as a foundation for some of their own governance. Wherefore, they shall never be brought into captivity. Now, that's a really huge promise, given the state of the world today and in other times where liberty has been at risk. If so, it shall be because of iniquities.

This is a principle with a promise, but we have to live the principle. We have to worship the God of the land who is Jesus Christ, right? For if iniquity shall abound, curse shall be the land for their sakes and for their sakes. And we're going to talk about that later with the boundaries idea, but unto the righteous, it shall be blessed forever. Can I just emphasize that last line? Unto the righteous, it shall be blessed forever. That is an incredible promise. No matter what happens politically or governmentally or socially or whatever, unto the righteous, it shall be blessed forever. That is a beautiful statement of comfort. Now, he talks about how they've come out of Jerusalem, all this kind of that they will do

into the land of belief, and he sees that his posterity will have a time where they lose the light, they turn away from the light. End of verse 10, if the day shall come that they reject the Holy One of Israel, the true Messiah, their Redeemer, and their God, behold, the judgments of him that is just shall rest upon them and then interestingly look at this verse 11 yea he will bring other nations unto them and he will give unto them power and he will take away from them the lands of their possessions and cause them to be scattered and smitten again there's a principle here that is so involved we need to worship jesus christ i want to go back for a moment to first ne Nephi that we've read just recently here in his from Europe, the early settlers of the United States.

Before it was the United States. They were delivered by the power of God out of the hands of all other nations. And it came to pass that I, Nephi, beheld that they did prosper in the land. And then he says why. I beheld a book, and it was carried forth among them. They brought this book. Well, what's the book? Verse 23, it proceedeth out of the mouth of a Jew. And the book that thou beholdest is a record of the Jews, which contains the covenants of the Lord. End of verse 23, they are of great worth unto the Gentiles. This is important.

This country began as a Judeo-Christian country. Why? Because they had the record of the Jews. They had the Bible. And it did contain the covenants. Of course, Nephi goes on and says there are some plain and precious things that have been taken out, and that causes them to stumble. But because they had this Judeo-Christian background, they had the Ten Commandments, they had the covenants of the Lord,

the understanding of how God works with his people, that they came and they were prospered because of it, because they were worshiping the God of the land, who is Jesus Christ. That's so important to remember and to see the consistent thread of God's work with us. If we will worship him, we will prosper. And to the righteous, this land will be blessed forever. And I'm going to say to the righteous, any land is blessed in the way that it needs to be, because God keeps his promises to his people. We need to worship Christ, and from him, all blessings flow. So there's a condition there and a warning. Let's talk about America for a minute. This is something so fun that I just have to mention. It's from a book called The Accidental Superpower by

Peter Zeehan. I'm not sure how to say that. And there is something special about the way God works again in the details. This is not a member of the church who writes this, but he talks about the blessings of this country. And this is just one idea because there are several that he specifically mentions. He's a geographer. But let me talk about the rivers as Peter Zeehan in this book mentions. The Mississippi is the world's longest navigable river, 2,100 miles long. That's about one third longer than the mighty Danube and triple the length of the Rhine. And the Mississippi is only one of the 12 major navigable American rivers. Collectively, all of America's temperate zone rivers are 14,650 miles long. China and Germany each have about 2,000. America has 14,600 miles of navigable rivers.

China and Germany, 2,000 each. France, about 1,000. The entirety of the Arab world has but 120. The most compelling feature of the American maritime system, however, is also nearly unique amongst the world's waterways. The American system is a network. It has tributaries that combine these. And what does this mean? It meant prosperity. connect, they could travel, they could expand and still stay connected with commerce and trade and family. They had this network that exists nowhere else in the world. And we're talking by leaps and bounds, all told, this Mississippi and intercoastal system, and they're talking about the barrier islands that exist on either side of the United States that give another waterway that can go up and down the coast that is mostly protected from like hurricanes and stuff like that. Not completely, but that is more navigable waterway. It accounts for 15,500 of the United States, 17,600 miles of internal waterways. Even leaving out the United States and North America's other waterways, this is still a greater length of internal waterways than the rest of the planet combined.

The result is that the U.S. has the greatest volume and concentration of capital generation opportunities in the world by an absolutely massive margin, and that opportunity is very heavily concentrated in a single unified system. That's just one thing that a geographer learned. He's not religious, and yet what do I read when I'm reading this book that my sons told me about years ago? And I read it, and I was like, God is in the details. When he says this land is a land of promise and it is blessed, he makes it happen in ways that are quantifiable. If we have the eyes to see and the ears to hear, why do we bet against this God who accomplishes his works always in every way that is needful? And like I said, that's just

one little thing that that book even talks about. Now let's talk about our inspired constitution. Isn't that fun? Yeah, that's really cool. This could be a rabbit hole. We could go down forever. I'm just going to mention a few things our prophets have said. In April 2021, fairly recently, Tad Collister, Joy Jones are doing this great thing about the constitution lately. He's spoken to both of them recently. Defending our divine Constitution was the name of this speech in April of 21. President Oaks said, without a Bill of Rights, America could not have served as the host nation for the restoration of the gospel, which began just three decades later.

Of course, the Constitution was not complete, but it was inspired, as we've been told by our leaders forever. And then the Bill of Rights was inspired, and that this allowed for the restoration of the gospel. Now, going on, President Oaks said, our belief in divine inspiration gives Latter-day Saints a unique responsibility to uphold and defend the United States Constitution and principles

of constitutionalism wherever we live. These principles are universal. Our country has been blessed in this specific way, and it was so that the gospel could come forth and be fully restored. Now, let's just finish one more line by President Oaks. We should trust in the Lord and be positive about this nation's future. That is a fascinating statement. There are some reasons to be concerned, but I love that. Be positive about this nation's future. And why? Because Zion will be brought forth on the American continent. We talk about that in our 13 Articles of Faith. We know that there is still a destiny that is going to happen here. The new Jerusalem will be here. This is not, again, by chance.

The Lord has a purpose in this. And yes, he has a purpose for all his believing people. So this, again, this is not to try to leave anybody out. It's about just to recognize that God works in very specific ways that he brings to pass marvelous miracles. The restoration of the gospel had to happen here. And Lehi sees all of this, and he's trying to tell them, please appreciate the works of the Lord and appreciate the blessings of liberty that are available if we worship God, that will always be protected if we worship God. And unto the righteous, this land will be blessed forever. Such an amazing promise. It's not about just one place. It's about

the light that, yes, sometimes comes from Camorra or Palmyra and then goes forth. And it is the going forth. All are invited, all are welcome to join in and become one based on universal truth and principle and worshiping the Savior. That's where our strength is, is from coming together and building Zion. Let's move on to another really great message of Lehi's to his sons to awake from a deep sleep. There's a chapter one still, verse 13 and 14. Oh, that you would awake, awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which you're bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe. This is such a poignant petition from a loving father

to sons who he has seen reject the fruit of the tree. He has seen it. He knows what's going on. And he's saying, I still love you. And I just wish you could awake from this deep sleep. And then in verse 14, awake and arise from the dust and hear the words of a trembling parent whose limbs he must soon lay down in the cold and silent grave from whence no traveler can return. A few more days and I go the way of all the earth. And then he, of course, his own testimony. The Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell. I have beheld his glory and am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.

And he wants them to remember and observe in verse 16, the statutes and judgments of the Lord. And this has been the anxiety of his soul from the beginning. I'm going to stop there for a minute and talk about this idea of awaking from a deep sleep, because I think that this can be so good for all of us to consider. Now, as a counselor, I've thought about, you know, what is it that gets us into a deep sleep where we can justify and rationalize some pretty awful behaviors? And these are not terrible people. These are good people who get caught in this sleep where they're not thinking well. And they're not using the light of the gospel to move and progress in their covenants. They're in a

miserable place, and they make others miserable too, and whether they recognize it or not. And how do they not recognize it? Now, I've had a lot of clients ask me, how could this person do this? I will never understand how this person can do these behaviors and justify them. And generally, they're talking about members of the church, because that's pretty much my clientele. It's so sad that they're in this deep sleep. Early in my counseling, I was at home full time for almost 20 years, and then got a revelation to go back. After I'd been doing counseling, we had a reunion, and all our kids were back. At some point, they asked me, so mom, what are you learning in counseling? What are you learning? I hadn't anticipated the question, so I was just kind of off the cuff, but I don't know that I would ever change my answer, actually, because this is what

came to me. Don't cover your sins. That, of course, let's look at that. It's from section 121. This is, of course, an amazing section that has a million lessons in it, but we're just going to look at this one. Well, I'm going to start with verse 36. The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven. Now, he's talking to men who hold the priesthood, but I am going to say that this has application to every person. But any rights, any covenant, the power of our covenants, it's inseparably connected

to the powers of heaven, and that the power of our covenants, it's inseparably connected to the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness. This is so familiar, but let's think about what comes next here. That they may be conferred upon us, it is true. And again, for women, we make these covenants that also are covenants of power. We have access to all the same powers of heaven. But when we undertake to cover our sins, now what does that mean? We lie to ourselves, and then we lie to others. We pretend that we're living in better harmony with our covenants, but we're not, and we don't admit it. We don't acknowledge it and repair it and correct it in whatever large or small means are required to get square with God and his church.

That might involve a priesthood authority. It might not, but wherever we deviate, and hopefully we go, we even start before we get into serious problems, but we correct. We don't cover our sins. We say like, you know what? I should not be yelling at my kids like that. Or you know what? I shouldn't be so selfish with my spouse. Or why am I letting my temper loose? And then justifying it and saying, well, they made me really angry, which in counseling, we say that's sloppy language. He made me angry. She made me angry. Like, really?

There was a choice in there, like it or not. This business of like justifying, covering our sins is rationalization. It's justification. It's excusing ourselves. It's dumbing down the principles of the gospel to match up with my behavior. Here's the ideal, and here's my real behavior. And instead of like saying, you know what, I need to close the gap this way by repentance and continuing and growing and becoming and refining and all those wonderful things that

can help us conform to the image of the Son of God. Instead, it's like, I'm going to bring this ideal down and say, well, I wasn't that bad. And you know what? I pay my tithing. I go to the temple all the time, and I serve. It's okay. I'm a pretty good person. It was just, I was under stress. I was just in a bad place. Things were not working very well. I was hangry. We have all these words that we've used to justify, to cover our sins from ourselves and say, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm good enough. I'm good enough. Now, this is so dangerous. Look what he says, and look at the sequence, because this sequence, I've seen it so many

times, it's heartbreaking. When we undertake to cover our sins or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition. Now, why do we cover our sins? To gratify our pride. Come on, they're completely connected. I don't want to have to admit that I have to repent. I don't want to have to admit that I was wrong, that I hurt people, that I betrayed God. I betrayed myself. I betrayed my kin. I don't have to admit that. I want to feel good about myself. But the natural man self. We don't use that word gratify anymore.

It means to indulge. Right? To indulge our pride. To satisfy it. And notice how much in our society we're doing this. We don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. We don't want to offend their pride or their good feelings about themselves. So we water down the ideal.

It doesn't matter how you live, what you choose, how you wear your garments. It doesn't matter. You just have to be yourself. The natural man self is always what they're talking about, not the divine child of God self who can become like God and Christ and joint heirs in the kingdom. They're not talking about that self. They're talking about this earthly natural man, worldly Babylon self. Don't be uncomfortable because that might hurt your feelings. Are you covering your sins? Or are you encouraging somebody else to cover theirs and say, you'll be fine. Let's go on. Cover our sins or gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the

children of men. And why do we cover our sins? Because we want to control what people think of us. We want to control how we look. And how many times have we talked about public self, private self? We can be fighting in the family and pick up the phone, hi, or go to the door, yeah, come on in. We're just having a spiritual moment. We are trying to exercise control or dominion or compulsion. It's not authentic. I'm not suggesting we hang our laundry in public. There are things that should be kept private, and we don't have to go and do true confessions and testimony meeting. That's not the point. The point is to be authentic. And I'm going to just

say that this is a redundancy that comes next, because he says, exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of children and men in any degree of unrighteousness. Well, can I just say that any time we're exercising control, dominion, or compulsion, it is unrighteous. Compulsion is never God's way. So there's a little bit of an emphasis there. Behold, now look at this cascade of events. Behold, the heavens withdraw themselves. That should be chilling. The heavens withdraw? Like all that power, all that light, truth, intelligence, blessing, protection withdraws. I think it was Cleon Skousen who wrote an essay that he talked about the light of Christ. I read it when I was an undergrad, and it was about how it permeates

every system that functions, including our circulatory system and why our eyes can see. And the light of Christ gives us photosynthesis. It gives us building blocks of life on this planet. And it all comes, the sun shines because of the light of Christ. We have a breathable atmosphere because of the light of Christ. So what happens when the heavens withdraw themselves? The spirit of the Lord is grieved. and when it is withdrawn, amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man. I would add amen to the light, truth, protection, blessing that God can offer us because we have shut it down. He does not take it away. We separate ourselves from that. And then behold, ere he is where he is left unto

himself. Again, those should be terrifying words. Left unto myself? Are you kidding? Like I know enough to steer my own ship? I mean, we have these amazing sons of Messiah come back and go, as to myself, I am nothing. I may have figured it out. As to my own strength, nothing. But with him, I can do all things. To kick against the pricks, which I think it means an exercise in futility, basically, to persecute the saints and to fight against God. You know, even Gamaliel in the New Testament knew better than that. Like, what are we doing? If we don't be careful, we're going to end up fighting against God. Again, this is a very serious warning.

I think that that is how we fall into deep sleep. We cover our sins. We lie to ourselves. And we justify and rationalize instead of allowing that divine discontent that we feel when we are not living up to our privilege. This is our privilege, the covenants, the promises of God, the opportunities, exaltation itself, such great privileges. And here we live beneath them because we're human. And yes, there is a learning curve and a growth opportunity in all of this, but it doesn't happen when we're comfortable. This is divine discontent, or some people have called it cognitive dissonance. It's a lack of comfort with how I am because I'm recognizing that, my gosh, I shouldn't have done that. I need to stop that bad habit.

I need to improve my relationships. I need to repent. I need to really take that seriously, that problem that I've had. Whatever it is, if the Spirit has prompted us, rather than dumb it down and cover those things from ourselves, let me embrace it and get on my knees and go to the Lord and say, help me close that gap. Help me use this as an opportunity. So I really think that's the deep sleep. And then, you know, I work with a lot of people, of course, and I see marriages that they're on their last ropes. And I've seen the men. And I've seen sad stories of men or women whose partners finally have had it and they leave. And these people are active church members. They hold positions of responsibility in the world and in the church, and they can be like, well, what happened? You were in a deep sleep. Didn't you hear that your

partner kept begging you to address these issues that were causing pain and grief and alienation and separation? You weren't coming together. You were like this on these parallel paths. Did you do a lot of good works? Yeah, you did, but you were covering your sins. You didn't listen to the people who loved you the most telling you, I need you to change. I need you to address this problem. Please, please, let's work together on this. It's a deep sleep, and that's the way that you wake up when your life goes through something so drastic. It's tragic. Here's Lehi. He loves his family. He loves these sons, and he's saying, awake. Awake and arise from the dust and be, be who you are meant to be. Close the gap. You have this incredible potential. What are your thoughts?

Lily, 20 something years ago, I was sitting in a priesthood meeting. I'm sure many of our listeners remember when General Conference had a priesthood meeting on Saturday night, and I'd go sit next to my dad, and sometimes was really long and they'd turn the lights out and you're like, oh, this would be a nice place to take a nap. But I remember this was October of 2002. So I was just a brand new seminary teacher and F. Melvin Hammond gave a talk. Lily, you're going to love this if you don't remember it. It's called Dad, Are You Awake? And this is a story he tells. John, do you remember this? He said, many years ago, I took our only son on his first camping fishing trip.

He was just a boy. The canyon was steep and the descent was difficult, but the fishing was good. Every time I hooked a fish, I would give the pole to the eager boy. And with shouts of joy, he would reel in a beautiful trout. In the shadows and coolness of the late afternoon, we began our climb back up to the rim high above us. And he talks about racing his son and how his son just totally wiped him out. He said, after supper, we knelt in prayer. His small voice rose sweetly heavenward. Then we climbed into our large double sleeping bag, and after a bit of pushing and pulling,

I felt his little body snuggle and settle tightly against mine for warmth and security against the night. As I looked at my son beside me, suddenly I felt a surge of love pass through my body. At that precise moment, he put his little arms around me and said, Dad, yes? are you awake? Yes, I'm awake. Dad, I love you a million trillion times. And immediately he was asleep. But I was awake far into the night expressing my great thanks. And then he said, for every father, I pose that penetrating

question. Are you awake? Do your sons and daughters ever wonder if you are asleep when it comes to the things that are most important to them? He goes on and says later, a father's relationship with God and his son, Jesus Christ, can be a beacon which will lead his children through the stormy shoals of life. I was thinking about years ago when I first learned that the Hebrew word that is often translated into atonement is kaphar, K-A-P-H-A-R, and it means, among other things, to cover. I've always thought that Adam and Eve were covered by Christ before they even left the Garden of Eden. Then that verse that you read from the Doctrine and Covenants from section 121, when we undertake to cover, we can't atone for our own sins. When we undertake

to cover our sins, it doesn't work. Adam and Eve attempted to cover themselves, but they were, as Alma might say, exposed to the whole law. Because we need Christ to cover us. And I've always loved that idea of an intensely beautiful Christian symbol of being covered by Christ is being atoned. We can't cover ourselves. We need to expose ourselves to Christ by exposing ourselves to ourselves and seeing things as they really are. We've been told that is truth. Truth sets us free, and it sets us free from a deep sleep, and it allows Christ to cover our sins in his divine way that cleanses. Cleanses us and then changes us.

I love how I think it's Elder Bednar that's talked about. There's two parts of this. We're going to be cleansed from past sin, perhaps slowly, but he can change our hearts and prepare us for our life in the future where we eventually lose desire for sin. I think Joseph Smith said, this is a station to which no man ever arrived in a moment. So it's a lifetime thing. But cleanse us and change us. And of course, Alma gives a great message, and it's all through scriptures. But Alma 32, 14 to 16.

Now, as I've said unto you, that because you were compelled to be humbled, you were blessed. Do you not suppose that they are more blessed who truly humble themselves because of the Lord? Do we have to wait until our partner is sick of us? The marriage might be on the ropes. Do we have to wait until a child walks away from us and doesn't look back when they grow up? Do we have to wait until we hit a wall? Do we have to wait? Do we have to be compelled? Or can we humble ourselves because we have the word? Yea, he that truly humbled himself and repented of his sins and endured the end, the same shall

be blessed, much more blessed than they who are compelled to be humble. Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble. In other words, blessed is he that believeth in the Word of God. And we open ourselves to change and repentance and Christ. I remember teaching this chapter in seminary and I set a bunch of alarm clocks throughout the class and they would just go off at random times. And my students are like, what is happening? And we kept coming back to these words in 13 and 14 and 23, these verses in 751. Awake, awake. We are awake, Brother Smith. Are you? Are you really awake? Hank, that's a great idea for moms and dads out there trying to, how do I teach this to my younger children? They could set some alarm clocks around. And I think Lee has children were awake, but he was talking about a different level of awakeness. Is that a word? He was talking about, you got to wake up spiritually. Yeah. Lily, you mentioned the prodigal son. He came to himself.

He came to himself. He woke up. Yeah. He woke up. What am I doing? What am I doing? That's the moment. That's the moment.

I'm going to go jump to 21 now in chapter one, verse 21. Okay. At the very end, arise from the dust, my sons, and be men. And be determined in one mind and in one heart, united in all things. But I'm going to go back. Arise from the dust, my sons, and be men. And I think this is worth talking about. Proclamation defines manhood this way.

God says, are you willing to provide? Are you willing to protect? And are you willing to preside? Now, my definition, I think this is what God means by preside. I'm sure it encompasses other things, is to honor your priesthood. Live worthy of that power and be able to use it to serve, lift, bless, and save others. Provide, protect, and preside. Are you a conduit between the heavens and the earth for those for whom you preside, in your family particularly? That's what God describes as manhood. Now, it doesn't matter how athletic you are. It matters if you are willing to provide

for a family and protect and preside. That's being a man to God. Men are under attack. Now, everybody's under attack. Satan's pulled out all the stops, and we know that these are the last days, and they're fierce in many ways. Let's look for a second. Let's pretend we're going around the church building in the second hour of the non-Sunday school weeks. What we got? We've got the primary, of course, and then let's look. We've got young men, young women, Relief Society, Alders Quorum. Which group is most at risk for suicide? It's the Alders Quorum. It's the men. 2021 was approximately four times higher than females. And this is in those 25 to 64 years. Four times higher. They are 50%, give or take, but pretty close to 50% of the population,

but 80% of the suicides. What's happening? They're under attack attack i am going to say something quickly from a book that is called wild at heart by john eldridge men need a battle to fight an adventure to live and a beauty to rescue and there's some nice stuff in there that helps us know what our boys need we know that the educational system is failing our boys they are falling behind at just astonishing rates higher education is take being taken over by more and more female students and that's good Mailing our boys. They are falling behind at just astonishing rates. Higher education is being taken over by more and more female students. And it's good for females to be educated, but not at the expense of males. I mean, like we want both people to be exposed to good ideas and good thinking and so on. But we have fewer and fewer men in graduate programs.

Women are just going leaps and bounds when it comes to reading. And there are studies that have been done by the National Department of Arts, all these things about how much voluntary reading is being done by our girls and our boys. And while they're both dropping, boys are dropping precipitously in reading. There was Leonard Sachs, who's written a book called Boys Adrift, really interesting. And he has some interesting things to say in interviews and so on. He even goes so far, he's an MD who has written some really good things about parenting and boys and girls. And he says that his way of checking a school to see if it's good for boys is to look at their honor roll. But if there are roughly equivalent

numbers of boys and girls on the honor roll, then that could be a school that works for boys. And he said it has really shifted. If you go historically and look at those honor rolls, it used to be roughly equivalent, even sometimes slanted toward boys in earlier decades. And now it is almost exclusively girls. Something's wrong. That school is not teaching boys in a way that works for boys. And he gives some fun examples of those kinds of things. But I mean, it's a serious issue. So that's just one component here. Like there's an attack going on. Now, I don't want to make people paranoid,

but maybe just a little, at least awake. Like how about we wake up to the fact that if we don't teach our children these things, and it's just as important to teach our girls what a man is and what a woman is, as it is to teach our boys what a man is and what a woman is, because they need to work together. God's plan is this divinely inspired division of labor. God has specified we have these different divine roles. Are we very much alike in our capacity to do things? Absolutely. And it makes us very adaptable. So if there is not a man in the home,

women step up and they can cover a lot of that. Not all of it, but they can cover a lot because God blesses us and allows for us to deal with different circumstances that might occur. Same thing with a man. Can he do a lot of what his wife or the woman in the family can do? Yes, he can step up because we do have a lot of overlap. But the differences are so important. They are divinely decreed, and we should not dismiss them or think that everything is fine when we act as if there's no difference at all, and we try to teach our children this foolish, worldly philosophy that frankly isn't even mingled with scripture. This one is so far off. It's not even close.

Can we just like really reject this idea that men and women are exactly the same? Like, please, please don't fall into that trap of the world that is not even subtle. Now, I love this hymn, Rise Up, O Men of God. And this is one of our men's hymns. I love to hear men sing it, but I listen to it just myself sometimes. Have done with lesser things. Give heart and soul and mind and strength to serve the King of Kings. Now, the King of Kings is the ultimate example of manhood. I mean, there's nothing toxic about the Savior Jesus Christ. A woman asked me, there's a dear friend actually, and she said she knows a woman who's been so hurt by men that she has a hard time praying to a male God. Because she said, what would you say to her?

And I said, I would say this, I am sorry you've been hurt by men. And she has, starting with her father, serious abuse, a husband that was very abusive, other men in her life that were really betrayed their trust, a lot of injury that's so awful and against the will of God, of course. But I said, her Savior and mine is a man. And he is the only name given whereby we can come to God. Let me help you heal from your hurts. Let me help you understand that men are not the enemy. Evil is the enemy. Sin is the enemy. It's not men, and it's not women. And we fall into these traps that Satan has put out there for the unwary foot, and sometimes we jump in with both feet, in fact, because we think we

have to be adversarial. We have to be in competition rather than cooperation that synergizes. We are designed to synergize in the differences. The differences are such a blessing to children, women. Elder D. Todd Christofferson, October 2006, who was then in the presidency of the seven in a speech called Let Us Be Men. It's a beautiful speech. There's a great story. When my brothers and I were boys, our mother had radical cancer surgery. She came very close to death. Much of the tissue in her neck and shoulder had to be removed. And for a long time, it was very painful for her to use her right arm. One morning, about a year after the surgery, my father took mother to an appliance store and asked the manager to show her how to use a machine that was there for ironing

clothes. The machine was called an iron right and it was operated from a chair by pressing pedals with one's knees. So instead of using her arm that was very hard for her to use, she could do this with her knees. You can see that this would make ironing much easier, especially for a woman with limited use of her arm. Mother was shocked when dad told the manager they would buy the machine and then paid cash for it. Despite my father's good income as a veterinarian, mother's surgery and medications had left them in a difficult financial position. On the way home, my mother was upset. How can we afford it? Where did the money come from? How will we get along? Finally, dad told her he had gone without lunches for nearly a year to save enough money.

Now when you iron, he said, you won't have to stop and go into the bedroom and cry until the pain in your arm stops. She didn't know how he knew about that. I was not aware of my father's sacrifice and act of love for my mother at that time, but now that I know, I say to myself, there is a man. This is such a tender story of what God invites us to be and women to join with them in this synergy. Now, this is another statement from that same speech by Elder Christofferson. We who hold the priesthood of God cannot afford to drift. We have work to do. We must arise from the dust of self-indulgence and be men.

In large measure, he says later, true manhood is defined in our relationship to women. What an inspired statement. One of the true litmus tests is how we as women treat men and how you as men treat women, that that is the measure of godly womanhood and godly manhood. How do we interact? Are we at odds? Are we critical and complaining and adversarial? Or are we trying to build Zion together, to come together in our differences and synergize rather than destroy? President Gordon B. Hinckley, and this is Elder Christofferson again quoting the prophet, President Hinckley speaking in this meeting in April 98, gave specific counsel for young men. The girl you marry will take a terrible chance on you. I remember this talk.

You will largely determine the remainder of her life. So, get all the education you can. He's talking about the providing part, which is so serious and which blesses children and blesses women. And I do want to say this, God did not condemn his daughters to a menial task. I learned things in the trenches of full-time motherhood I could have learned nowhere else. I am ever grateful and will ever be grateful for those years where God expanded my soul. He expanded every part of me. I became much more intelligent. I became a much better person. God does not condemn anybody to a place of no growth, ever. There's always the potential for exaltation in whatever

we do. And men can give that to women and the great gift of their children. What are we teaching our boys? To provide, to take responsibility. I know it's a tough economy and sometimes it's worse in other countries. And it doesn't mean a woman can't be a helpmate. Obviously, again, we pray and when we think things through and we try to find our way, but there are irreducible needs that God is asking us to prioritize that require sacrifice and sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven. Can we testify to our children of the importance of these roles and not see them as afterthoughts or if you have nothing better to do or if you don't have the intelligence to go to school or have a career. Like, are you kidding me? There was nothing

more challenging that I've ever done in my whole, graduate school was a breeze. But being home with my children and trying to understand how best to teach them about the gospel of Jesus Christ and the other good things of the world, that was the most soul and mind expanding thing I have ever done. And I learned more from that than I could have ever learned in any other setting. It is not to be looked at as if it doesn't matter to provide anymore. Like this is a mistake. Are we preparing our sons and helping them take this on as a sacred responsibility, which we adapt.

The proclamation talks about that. Some circumstances require adaptation and extended family and all kinds of other things. President Oaks had a father who was a doctor. He died when President Oaks, the eldest of three children, was seven years old. His dear mother, Stella, raised those kids on her own, and they were young. That's so sweet and beautiful. And he said something wonderful about his mother. He said, I was blessed with an extraordinary mother. She surely was one of the many noble women who have lived in the latter days. Now, there are a lot of single moms in the church, and God loves them, and he will bless them. So this is not about you're doomed if the ideal situation is not part of your life. It almost never is. But it is about not losing the ideal

and still trying to teach our children that this is something to try to cherish and do what we can to participate. Now, let me just say a couple of things. Our kids are bombarded with confusing and incorrect ideas, a lot of false ideas about men and women. Let's gently but unapologetically teach them God's plan. It includes his plan for men and women. Differences matter. They are designed to synergize. Women, he talks about nurturing. And women, whether mothers or not, and are we not all mothers, that lovely speech by Sherry Dew, because women warm up a cold planet. And there are, again, lots of studies that show that. But I do want to say that the role of a helpmate is vital. Children need both fathers and mothers. There is a huge increase in fatherlessness in our society. In fact, we have over 200 urban societies where there is over 90% fatherlessness. And there's something I want to mention called protest masculinity, which is the direct result of the absence of fathers.

So what this is talking about, and this is written about one of many things that is written in a book called Life Without Father by David Pocono, written several years ago now. But this is a great point. This protest masculinity means here's a baby that comes in. And of course, mom is the immediate bond. She bore that child in her body and brings forth the child and often nurses the child. So here we have this really, really amazing bond. But then girls, as they grow up and become more autonomous and separate or whatever, don't go too far because they realize that there's a lot

about her that's a lot like mom. She's a girl, mom's a girl, and there's kind of a role model there that she's going to be separate, but she's also like her in many ways. But a boy gets to that point of separation from that initial mother-child bond where he's trying to now become his own person. And what does he do in a family with a father? He looks to dad. Oh, I'm more like dad. We're both guys. So there's this wonderful role model and it brings him to a place where he can see what he's going to be or how he can be. And hopefully that's a good, appropriate bond as it should be. But either way, at least it gives him kind of a place to land when he separates from mom.

What if dad's not there? There's no place to land. There's no place to stop him. He realizes I'm different from mom and from my sister. So I need to be different, but there's no place to land on. He keeps going in his effort to separate from femaleness. They have now identified something called protest masculinity, where they become anti-female, hostile toward women. Look at what's happening in these urban communities with over 90% fatherlessness, what music has come out of there? Rap music that in so many cases is vile in the way it talks about women. And it talks about violence against women and control and use and abuse of women. This is protest masculinity. And it happens because there are no fathers there.

Like, this is essential. Why do we act like it doesn't matter who raises children? It absolutely matters. My husband and I were watching one of those Animal Planet or National Geographic, I don't even remember, or specials, and it was about this reserve in Africa that had elephants and how they were culling the herds or relocating some. They had taken some male adolescent elephants and moved them from one reserve to another place. And then they were kind of keeping track on how those elephants were doing and they start to look around the park and they find that rhinos were being killed. Now they thought, oh, the poachers are back. But you know what

poachers want? They want the horn. That's what's the valuable part of the rhino on the black market. The horns were left. So they're like, these aren't poachers. They would have taken the horn. So they set up cameras and whatever. And you know what they found? They found that the male adolescent elephants were killing the rhinos. Now, that is not typical elephant behavior. They brought in adult bull elephants, the males, fully grown men, and they whipped those adolescents into shape. Elder Christofferson, again, from that wonderful speech, we must arise from the dust of self-indulgence and be men. It is a wonderful aspiration for a boy to become a man, strong and capable, someone who can build and create things, run things, someone who makes a difference in the world. It is a wonderful aspiration for those of us who are older to make the vision of

true manhood a reality in our lives and be models for those who look to us, for an example. And that means that you look at the fatherless families in your wards and neighborhoods and help. Invite that boy to do things with you. Take him on outings and adventures with your own sons, or if your sons are grown, go and do that. Help that mother out so that they're a good man. We have ministering brothers, but you know, I went to my son's ward the other day and two people came up and said, well, one said, I've been in this church 43 years and your son is the first one who has done his ministering visits.

And then another younger couple told me that he's the first time they've ever had a ministering brother that actually showed up. God gives us answers all over the place, but we need to pick them up and use them. It really blesses that fatherless child to have access to a good man who takes interest in him and helps with that single mom who is doing a great job at everything she can do, and the Lord will bless her. She has access to all the powers of heaven and to priesthood powers if she is living her covenants and asking for them. But we need men in those boys' lives. Now, here's something that one of my sons sent me this morning because he knew I was

talking about this. Brethren, we all need to repent. This is our dear prophet, Russell Nelson. We need to get up off the couch, put down the remote, and wake up from our spiritual slumber. It is time to put on the full armor of God, which is exactly what Lehi says here in verse 23, put on the armor of righteousness, put on the full armor of God so we can engage in the most important work on earth. It is time to thrust in our sickles and reap with all our might,

mind, and strength. The forces of evil have never raged more forcefully than they do today. As servants of the Lord, we cannot be asleep while this battle rages. The Lord needs selfless men who put the welfare of others ahead of their own. He needs men who intentionally work to hear the voice of the Spirit with clarity. He needs men of the covenant who keep their covenants with integrity. He needs men of the covenant who keep their covenants with integrity. He needs men who are determined to keep themselves sexually pure, worthy men who can be called upon at a moment's notice to give blessings with pure hearts, clean minds, and willing hands. I bless you to become those men. I bless you with the courage to repent daily and learn how to exercise full priesthood power. I bless you to communicate the love of the Savior to your wife and children and to all who know you.

I bless you to do better and better. And I bless you that as you make these efforts, you will experience miracles in your life. John, I'm doubting you've ever had the experience, but I have, be a little bit vulnerable, where my wife needed to do some correcting in me. I brought some difficulties, I think, with me from an abusive childhood, and there was a couple conversations that needed to take place. Well, right at the end of second Nephi one, I noticed something that really fit. Lehi is talking about Nephi and all he's trying to do for Laman and Lemuel. And all you need to do is switch he Nephi to her and it becomes your wife. Look at the very end of verse 24. I'm going to read a couple of verses here

and see if this doesn't fit exactly for any husband who's listening going, this is painful. I don't want to hear this. End of verse 24. She has suffered much sorrow because of you. I exceedingly fear and tremble because of you, lest she shall suffer again.

For behold, you have accused her that she has sought power and authority of you, lest she shall suffer again. For behold, you have accused her that she has sought power and authority over you, but I know that she has not sought for power nor authority over you. This is your wife, but she has sought the glory of God and your eternal welfare. You have murmured because she has been plain with you. You say that she has used sharpness. You say that she has been angry with you. But behold, her sharpness was the sharpness of the power of the word of God, which was in her. And that which you call anger was the truth. According to that which is in God, she could not restrain manifesting boldly concerning your iniquities. It keeps going. It must needs be that the power of God must be with her, even unto her commanding you that you must obey.

But behold, it was not her, but it was the spirit of the Lord, which was in her, which opened her mouth to utterance that he could not shut it. That's a moment where you think that what you call anger, why are you mad at me, is the truth. Sorry, there was a professor at BYU. I'm trying to remember his last name. He was a wonderful guy. I can see his face. And he sometimes spoke to groups of men. He would say, brethren, how many of you want to have a revelation from God?

And every hand would go up. And he'd say, go home and ask your wife how to be a better husband. That is exactly what you're putting here. I think it's inspired. We have to be in this together. All of us need to be humble and come to the Lord. But who is in the best seat in the house to see how we really are. And it is our partners. It's our husbands and it's our wives. And we should go to them and ask, how am I doing?

Are there some things that you're seeing that I could do better? And it's not a session to then just bash or criticize, but to bless all the beautiful things there. He has sought your eternal welfare. She is seeking your eternal welfare. She is seeking your eternal welfare. Can we give that grace to each other? And of course, it requires that we stop being enemies and we stop being warlike and contentious and mean and petty, but that we seek the Spirit

and then, yes, pray that our spouse will be open and humble and we can bless our whole families. Honestly, I think we should do this with our children too, periodically. How are things going in our family? What do you like? What don't you like? Are there things I could do more that would bless our family, that would bless you? This is priceless feedback waiting for the taking. Can we be humble enough? And it is that humility that allows us to actually listen and change and say, I will do better. Thank you for helping me see some things where I can be a better version of myself and we can grow together. Oh my goodness. I like the way you did that. That's beautiful. Yeah. I love switching those. That's amazing. I feel like if the plan of God, and I love that President Oaks, like two conferences in a row, or was it one conference?

And then the next one, a year later, talked about God's plan both times because it's where you look. But God's plan is that we need each other. Then what would Satan want to do? Drive a wedge between not just husbands and wives, but men and women. Let's look at, oh, women are like this, or oh, men are all like this, and drive a wedge in there. When we need each other, and life is so much more wonderful with each other. I have teenage boys. So does Hank. If we don't show and model how to be men, where are they going to go? Where are they going to learn that?

That's what I hear you saying. Coming up in part two of this episode. If we think that charity means I must tolerate abuse, we are mistaken. That is being acted upon. And we are not sent to be acted upon. We are sent to act.