Fore Play - “Australia Is Where The Devil Keeps His Pets”

Episode Date: December 3, 2019

Jason Day pulls out from the Presidents Cup, Adam Scott is worried the Australian crowd is going to cheer for Tiger (duh), & DJ withdraws from the Hero. After, we discuss the difference in plastic vs wooden tees after England's oldest club banned the use of plastic tees, who is most likely to be attacked by a wild animal in Australia, giving/getting mid-round swing tips from another golfer, and more!!!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/foreplaypod

Hey, 4Play listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Foreplay presented by Barstool Sports. Did I sound like Riggs right there? No. I tried to do the little thing where they does with his voice. You sounded good. Okay.

I'm here to tell you, it's Frankie, by the way. I'm here with Lurch and Trent. We are in New York. It's Sunday at 4 o'clock. Usually I'm laying in bed exposed and watching football. But today we are recording Foreplay a little bit early. that is because Riggs is in Bermuda. He is at the Gosslings invitation. He's playing golf just for free. They invited into a 50-4-hole tournament. And if you can't do something like that, you know what you need to do?

Because this is what, like, the normal person would do to go play golf? I'd be lying in bed right now on my app. What app would I be on? Supreme Golf. Supreme Golf is the app that we, the normal folk, will use to go and go off. I'm not saying that Riggs doesn't use Supreme Gullough because he does. He was just in St. Louis. And he was home for Thanksgiving. And he used Supreme Golf to book a golf course with buddies and his brother. I saw him playing. He used it all weekend. Crazy little golf course he's been playing with a weird layout on the grass. It was like light brown and all this stuff. Probably have a review. But this goes to show you that Supreme Golf works 24-7, 365 days a year. It does not matter where you are, who you are, where you

want to play. Supreme Golf has you every single T-time app in the world that you may want to use. You type in, I want to golf at this place. It's going to give you a T-time app. Just go on Supreme Golf. It has all of those under one umbrella. It's the best. It's the best. It's the best invention I've ever seen. I totally agree. So you're going to want to go to Supreme Golf. They are the presenting sponsor for Foreplay. We love them.

You're going to love them. They have a clean app. Now let's talk some golf. I'm in Bermuda, and I'm just staring at the boys in the studio there through Skype, through technology, and you guys are just bundled up like you wouldn't believe right now. How cold is it there? It's cold. It's 35 degrees.

It started snowing earlier this morning. it's kind of transitioned into rain as it has warmed up throughout the day. But you're a real asshole because we're also looking at you. And in the background is just Bermuda. It's just a beautiful beach. Yeah. You couldn't sit inside for this one. You had to sit outside over the back of your shoulders.

The most beautiful blue ocean I've ever seen. I got to tell you, the color of the water here is like that turquels. You know what I'm saying? It's something. I didn't know the water was that beautiful. I also got to say, producer Andrew is getting dominated by Bermuda so far. What's going on over there? Dominated.

So he, we wait an hour after the flight, no bags for producer Andrew. So he's up. He packed two full bags. Nothing. He's got to wait. He goes over to the Delta people. He's talking to him. They're like, we don't know where your bag is.

We're going to maybe be able to get it to you tomorrow, which he's like got no shoes. He's got no clothes. And then he can't get his service work. So he's been like on the phone with whoever his service provider is. His phone just says he can't do anything with his phone. So we've been here for about two hours and Bermuda is fucking kicking producer Andrews ass of what. Dude, I was just thinking about that this morning. Do we have to do something like that for Australia?

Do we have to change our service and let them know we're going to another planet? Hands are up? I have no idea. Like are there things we need to do to prepare for this? I'm turning on the international plan for my. What does that mean? Is there a lever somewhere that I just crank on? I'm going to Verizon. and I believe it's $10 a day.

To go to a physical store? So it's the same as others then. Then you just text. How are you still talking after Alabama lost? Yeah, that's a great point. How is really meet? When the football hit the goal post, what happened? If the Ravens just kick the field goal and beat the 49ers.

That's like one game, Bama season's over. The NFL stinks. All right. I'm going to turn my mic off. See you. These are good questions in terms of Australia. I don't think most of us haven't traveled internationally. So it's just like I'm going to land there and then do I have to figure it out as

we go? I don't know. Let's finish off this. I mean, let him bask in his glory. Remind the people what you're doing in fucking Bermuda anyway. I'm going to get to that. You guys just remind me, somebody sent us an email that we have to get work visas for Australia.

What? Somebody sent an email. It's like, hey, Riggs, I don't want you guys to get there and get turned out at like the gate of Australia. So you're going to need to get work visas. I was like, are you serious? He's like, yeah, you got to go to this link you can do it the same day and i just closed email as i said why you can't we can't just

oh they're going to ask us what we're doing there i'm also thinking like can i get that if my work isn't even like i don't know man these are questions i don't know the answers to so we're just going to go around circles on that one i know nothing fuck uh Jake i also for the first time i went and i purposely sought out jake's twitter account last night just to follow the meltdown of the bama game but it was a must follow it was it was great it was a good time sorry All right, Jake. Sorry about that, man. Yeah, I mean, five national championships, 10 years. Like, what am I going to...

This is the thing. This is what I said when we were at Kevin Kisner's thing. Like, you were all like, gosh, you go, fuck, goddammit. And it's like, bro, you guys who win every title, every year, you got a fist full of rings. You guys are not the fan base that should be allowed to, like, mope about every time you lose. We're not going to make this an Alabama football podcast. But it's like you guys have lost, like, four times in the last 10 years. But the Auburn thing's getting real.

Yeah, but I will say, I mean, this is the first college football playoff, Alabama won't be in. and it's kind of going to be a little depressing. Good. I'm happy. I'm happy about it. Since it's been created the first one, Alabama's never been. I'm thrilled. We don't talk football.

I'm happy. I'm happy because I'm in Bermuda. And the reason I'm in Bermuda is because I'm playing in the Galsing's Invitational, which is a stroke plate tournament. I've got to tell you, I'm pretty nervous to play in a stroke plate tournament. Like, it's a whole different bear when the ball has to go in the hole every time. I mean, what happens if, like, you just, you get the yips with the putter on the hole for, like, 30 seconds and you just can't get the ball

on the hole? I mean, what do you? Yeah, no, it's going to be it's going to be fucking difficult. I can't believe you got invited to this thing. I don't know what they're doing. Like you're just playing in an invitational. They couldn't find one of the person to play in this invitational that you're just playing in this thing. That's crazy.

You're playing in a 54 hole tournament overlooking the ocean. Dude, the way it was presented to me was our sales team was like, we did a deal with Gosling's rum where you have to go play in their invitational in Bermuda. You have to.

What does that mean? Now we're just the Bermuda playing for the next. And Whitney's playing in it too, right? Whitney's here. I think Whitney has very much been off the radar with us ever since the incident when you know, the match didn't get to play out because he totally sandbagged

the United States fault association when in reality it was his fault because he essentially called the police on himself and the police were like, oh yeah, this is the law. And then we couldn't do the math. And I think that he's like been avoiding us ever since because I texted him like, hey, we can maybe try to figure out something to do in Bermuda like a month ago when I found out that we were doing this. And he was like, I'll play your match with you when and if I ever want to in the future or something with some weird fuck text like that. So Whitney's here, but I haven't talked to.

Dude, he, I actually think that I got got by Whitney last night. He texted me last night, hey, I'm in Vegas. and the islanders are 10 to 1, you want me to put in a bet for you. So he completely just cornered me where I had to say yes, like for the Stanley Cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, so I've been with him $100. And now he's just like in Bermuda. I just feel like he was just trying to take money from it.

That sounds right. Right? Like, I don't know. But he was in Vegas last night and then he flew from Vegas to Bermuda. Maybe, I don't know. Feels like a number. I don't know. That's a weird thing.

He's, did he just need $100? Or do he's just fucking with you? Maybe he, like, just wanted to see what I would say. Yeah, because you have to say yes. Imagine I was like, no, I don't believe in it. And he would, like, tweet it out. Yeah, exactly. I was sitting my girlfriend at the game.

I'm like, God damn it. Like, I think, like, you always think your team's going to win, but, like, I just wasn't like $100. Like, I don't know, I just, like, I don't know. I just threw $100 because he said something. That kind of hurt. It can happen. You never know. No, yeah.

It would be nice to wash that down that $1,000 after a win. But for sure. But, yeah, that was weird. I thought that was strange. I think Whitney just, like, water out. hundred shots with your hundred bucks and it was like look at it. I'll cover the grand if they were. Correct.

I think that maybe. Did you check the live odds? Is that even real? I don't, I think they've got to be worse than 10. 1. I blindly, I blindly sent them $100.

Like, if you went to Vegas, they got to be at least 20, 25 to once. No, I think it's probably closer 10 to 1. Because at one point during the beginning, like during their stretch,

they were a favorite to win at one point. What? Yeah. They probably are close to the capitals. What is, I don't know how to do these. I don't know how to read this shit. I'm not going to read it.

What does it say? Plus 1,400. So yeah, he got worse on. So he would have got 14 to 1. I wonder how, like, I wonder how. Is that by today, though? Is that that may have been pretty easy? I already exited out of the browser, so I don't know.

Because it had Tampa Bay there in a second, which is just probably not correct. Here's another thing that's been happening. Rakes is in Bermuda. We're here in 34-degree weather. I've been shitting my brains out the last three days. Oh, because of Thanksgiving? Yeah, you should move over a little bit. so no something's happening

I stopped on the way into the booth because I was no dude something's happening like stomach virus or something like I've been it's been like Can your body handle a virus? Pure mud pie

But you don't have much body to give away You know like I've been an absolute fucking nightmare the last couple days It's been coming out of all the end You are acting like it doesn't have anything You do at Thanksgiving It has nothing to do with Thanksgiving Seems incorrect

Absolutely not We went out Thanksgiving Eve And we did a little bowling And you've been sick And someone got sick Like they went to the bathroom and we thought they were throwing up because of the drinking, but it turns out like, no, they were just sick,

and I got the same bug. And I was, my legs were turning over in my bed last night. I felt like I was on a boat. Do you think it's Ebola? I don't know. I'm kind of getting over it now. I was just nervous because we're taking the 16-hour flight to Australia for the President's Cup, a 22-hour flight, actually.

I can't tell you how nervous I am about that. Riggs, we were talking about this. The fucking, the flight from New York to Australia is as bad of a flight as you can get on an airplane. that's the worst experience you can possibly have yeah I think it's going to be close between Trent and Frankie who handles the flight the worst but like we were sitting down in Lurchgo

Lurch goes it's not that bad no I said it's not that big of a deal and then you had a great line you said it's the biggest deal you can get when it comes to flying and it's hard to argue that flying to Australia is the biggest deal you can possibly get when entering a plane it's like all right you're now going to go from one end of the earth all the way to the other nonstop.

Besides like war or one of those storm chaser planes. But the storm chaser planes, I'm just saying in an aircraft or the storm chaser planes that like fly over hurricanes where you're like, what the hell? Why would you ever do that? Obviously that's worse. Well, I'm just saying. I 100% agree with you. 100% agree.

With six absolute buffoons getting on a plane. This is the worst experience you can get. Why is that phone bringing? Turn the phone off. Leave it off the hook. Unplug the phone. We have a landline. We have a landline in this fucking.

studio that's just ringing. Who knows the number to that? That was the fourth or fifth time it is ranked. Who knows the number to that? What are they calling? Andrew looking for cell service. All right, he unplugged it. He unplugged it.

I know that it's going to be me who handles it the least well because when I think about it and I have been thinking about it for pretty much 48 hours straight because once Thanksgiving is done, this is just the thing that we're going to do now because it's in, you know, it's in a couple days. I feel like I'm going to throw up when I think about it. That's just, dude. Dude, I remember when we flew out to Pebble Beach twice because we went to out for the Mugan Challenge and then we went back out for the U.S. Open.

I thought six hours was just about on the cusp of something I couldn't handle in terms of being on a flight. And then we're going to fly from New York to Los Angeles, six or seven hours, wait one hour, one single hour. I'm holding up one finger. And then we're going to jump on another flight for 16 hours straight. You've got to do that flight three times in a row. I mean, I don't know.

I don't even know how to properly express the feelings I have on that. But I know that my stomach when it thinks about it, it does somersaults and not in a good way. What are we going to do, man? Like, honestly. I looked at a globe, like, recently and seeing, like, Australia might as well be on fucking Mars. Like, it is in such an odd-less area.

Like, there shouldn't be anything next. Like, there, that should just, it is just ocean forever and ever. And then all of a sudden, Australia just exists. And it is so far away from here. But I think, strength is going to handle it by far the worst. I think we need to put a GoPro on it.

If I still have this mud pie situation going on, we're going to have problems. I mean, it's worse for the people in your row than it is for you. It's not farting, dude. It's like, I can't like process food right now. I can't, I eat anything and it just goes right through me. It's crazy. The GoPro idea. The only way to go.

I'm having problems. Do you have Jardia? I don't know what that means. So Jardia is pretty much like a little parasite that you lose control your bowels. No, I have a stomach virus. Well, this is like a stomach. virus. So if you drink, like usually you get it through water that's not clean.

So like tap water. Potentially, you could get it through Jardia. Like when I used to do some hiking, if you drank like water that was still, it wasn't running, you'd have a good chance of potentially getting Jardia if you didn't use like a iodine tablets or something like that. And if you got this, you'd lose control your bowels. To one point, I was canoeing down the river. My boatmate lost controls his bowels and he was just hanging his ass off the back.

That's going to be you hanging your ass out of the plane on the way to show. Jesus. Do you think about, like, how much anxiety you may get where you're just like, I need to, like, I need to get out of this plane. And you're on hour 11, right? And you have five more to go. You're like, I got to get off this plane, man, like open the door or something. Like, here's what I know was going to happen.

I'm going to get on that flight after we had just flown six hours to get on another flight to go from L.A.X. to Melbourne. And I am going to doze off immediately at the start of that flight. And I'm going to wake up and be like, we got to be nine hours in. Like I'm already on cruise. I'm on easy street. Even an hour and a head. It's been 49 minutes.

Yeah. I know that's going to happen. Did I tell you this story? No. I was flying home from Hawaii and it was a direct flight from Hawaii to JFK. I never sleep on plane. So I'm like on the runway. I'm passing out.

I'm like, this is great. I'm going to fall asleep on this thing. This thing's going to be fantastic. Fall asleep. I wake up. I'm all groggy and I'm like, oh, man, we got to be like, we got to be over St. Louis or something like that. Right.

We're cruising. And I turn on the little, like, screen there, turn on the flight path. We are halfway between Hawaii and California. Yeah. I wanted to cry. That's not good. That's going to happen to me too. But, you know.

But we are going to play crazy golf in Australia and go to the President's Cup. So it's not all that bad. Once we land, it's a good situation. But here's the other thing is that we're fucking time traveling. Have we talked about that yet? We're time traveling. We're Saturday. Next Saturday, we do not experience.

It's as though we're dead. we take off on Friday and we land Sunday. So someone tell me what happens to Saturday. You get two Wednesdays when you come back, whatever. That's another thing. We take off. So everyone listening, try and understand this. We're going to be at the President's Cup.

We're going to play all these golf courses. We get into a plane on Wednesday at 11 a.m. In Melbourne, Melbourne, Australia. So we board the plane. It's Wednesday, 11 a.m. We land in New York City Wednesday at 4 p.m. Five hours go by. but you're on a plane for 25 of them.

So what's going on there? Just flying with a sun. You're just time traveling. You're just time traveling. What's going on there, man? I will say. Imagine like what happens to the physical time. You're like flying back,

the time's hitting the plane. Like what's going on there? It's like you're flying through the numbers. Yes. Yeah. I will say when we're over there, it's 16 hours behind or ahead. I think it's 16 hours ahead there.

I mean, we're not like it is basically might as well be, another planet. Like, we're not going to have to... So let's say I want to keep track of an Islander game that's on Tuesday. It's like yesterday's game. Like, what's going to happen? What's happening? It's like the show early edition where the guy gets the newspaper from the day ahead so he

knows everything it's going to happen. It makes you think you, like, know the future, but you don't. You definitely do not. No. Truly hard shelter. That's what we're going to talk about real quick. Look, I don't really need a prompt sheet. Truly hard shelter.

Pretty much just the choice, the go-to choice now. Even all my buddies back home. We're watching the blues games, hanging out. What are we drinking? We're drinking truilies. 100 calories. 5% ABB. I had a couple buddies that got a couple too many truilies because they're so delicious.

They sneak right up on you. Mango. We're drinking the mango, the passion fruit, the wild berry. I'm a huge fan of the berry pack. Go get yourself some truly hard seltzer. That's what we drink. That's what we enjoy. And like I said, 100 calories.

They're basically good for you. At that point, truly has reached a point where it's just, very good for you. It's a very healthy choice for everything that you like to do. Truly is phenomenal. So go get yourself from truly our itself through. The official sponsor of the Barstall Classic this year. That's what we drink. That's what we enjoy in the golf course, whether we're watching a game no matter what we're doing. Islanders, if they're losing as they have been lately, that's what you're drinking while you watch them do that. President's Cup. We mentioned the President's Cup. So let's talk a little President's Cup.

Jason Day is out, which is shocking and devastating. Obviously, he's Australian. So him not being in the President's Cup in Australia in Melbourne. Melbourne, I think, is how we're supposed to say it, by the way. Do you guys know that? Melbourne. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. I thought about that over Thanksgiving break.

I refuse to do that. I'm going to call it Melbourne. Even though... You're really going to draw it out. Yeah. Like, I feel like you say Melbourne. You know what? I don't mean a jerk about it.

Melbourne. Actually, I'm going to go back on that. And I am going to say Melbourne because it's the opposite. Because when I say when people come in and order Merlats or Kalamari or, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like say it the right way. So yeah, I'm going to say Melbourne. I did a little flip back.

You don't have to do the Mutsarelle thing that you. I think if you go to a middle ground. If you go to a place, you should try to at least sort of like ingratiate yourself into that culture. I'm going to say Melbourne. You know why? Because I said it to someone at Thanksgiving. They're like, oh, you guys, you're going to where are you flying into? And I said Melbourne.

And they didn't know what I was talking about. So I was like, oh, Melbourne. Louville is a big Louville. Yeah. That's a hard. Yeah. Blueville.

Louisville. I'm, with this Jason Day news, I'm convinced that he's ducking us. I think that's what this is all about. We just can't pin this guy down. Every time, this was going to be the time, right?

Like, we've had many encounters with him. He is the intro to our show. Like, we've seen him out of U.S. Open. Frankie made five second eye contact with him, still didn't say anything. Jason Day kept walking.

I've gone back and forth with his wife on Twitter about the Bachelor. This is the guy where maybe the most friendly with on social media and potentially in public. And every time we see him, we don't go up to him. And now he was supposed to be, we were going to have him in Australia. We were going to have probably a bunch of media time with him. And he just pulls right out. Is he going to be in Australia and just not competing?

I don't think so. I looked it up because I was wondering that too. I don't think so. Tough news for him, of course. Ben-on is in instead. Another president's cup topic I want to discuss. Adam Scott said he's worried that the Australian crowd will be cheering. for Tiger Woods.

He said last time they had the President's Cup in Australia, it was too friendly. He said quite bluntly, we want the home crowd advantage and I'll be disappointed if they are cheering enthusiastically for Tiger or anyone on the U.S. team. Of course, they're going to be cheering for Tiger Woods.

Good luck. Right. Nobody can't get anywhere on a golf course, have a golf tournament and not have people just ooing and eye at the legendary figure that is Tiger Woods when he walks around that fairway with his giant dick fucking chasing down shots,

club twirling, captaining while playing and winning and winning matches at the same time. You're going to not cheer for that. Dude, think about it this way. When they were in Japan for the tournament

that he eventually ended up winning, and the guy who was also gunning for the win was Sadeki Matsuyama, the hometown king. But the people in Japan hadn't seen Tiger in like 15 years. He hasn't been Australia since, what, 2011?

So now you've got a situation where it's going to be the same thing. People just want to see Tiger. At the end of day, they're not going to care about the President's Cup. They're just like, I want to see Tiger Woods. And Adam Scott putting a, like a bright light on it is only going to make it worse because

people are going to be like, oh shit, Tiger Woods is in town. Let's go over there and cheer for him. This is the opposite of what he wanted to do. Right. Tiger might be raising the roof now to get the crowd going just to shove up Adam Scott to ask. Like, what are you doing Adam Scott? Obviously they're going to loop the tiger wood. You can't not root for the guy.

And like you just said, Trent Day, if that's going to happen against Hideki Matsuyama, that's every reason in the world to root for that guy. And people weren't doing it. They were going nuts for Tiger. In Australia, I mean, and people in Australia love America. People in Australia are fans of us, for Christ's sake, which is one of the weirdest things in the world. I think they're not giant fans of Tiger Woods.

So he's right. He should be worried. Tiger's going to be playing. I can't believe we're going to be watching Tiger Woods play golf up close and personal in like two weeks in Australia. That's something. Tiger should like throw some digs at him and be like, hey, Adam, can you quiet the crowd down while I take this put?

Like control your crowd for a second? Like, and really, like, give him like a wing. Like Adam, are they going to relax? Trying to practice over here. Yeah, I'm trying to practice over here. These guys are so fucking loud. Like, why don't you just have him calm down? One of those things that Adam Scott is, it's okay to think this.

It's probably, well, it isn't a good idea to come out publicly and be like, you know what? I was thinking about something the other day. I don't think people should cheer for the greatest golfer of all time when he's here in a couple weeks. Like, all right, that's a bad idea. Dude, it's got to be so hard for these guys like to play against Tiger Woods. Not just because he's Tiger Woods, but like you lose out on so much of the stuff that Adam Scott wants.

You lose out on like the competition value. you, the home field advantage, like the home crowd, because Tiger is just loved by everyone. He is a walking, living, mythical creature that people read about in books, and then they go and see him in real life, and he's actually performing. Like, we always talk about, you don't have to just watch him on YouTube anymore. You can just go to the golf course and watch him play and dominate. Like, Adam Scott, and this whole generation that's played with Tiger Woods has missed out on fans loving them.

And it's an incredible version of Tiger, and, like, a, and a, of a, of, a, of, a, very riveting chapter of his career like it's not he's coming to this as like an assistant captain it's all like ceremonial and it's like oh we all just get to see tiger he's like a bad motherfucker again so people and bad mamma jamma he's a bad mamma jama so people are going to be even more psyched up to see him even a few like we watched him walk around the president's couple of couple years ago and it was like holy shit and he wasn't yo what's that he was Yoda yeah and it was like oh but he wasn't playing well it was like kind of a weird time now it's completely flipped he won the masters he just wanted to get in japan

he is once again like a guy that people want to see play golf yeah it just stinks too because like people probably love Adam Scott in Australia but they love Tiger more like that's got to hurt that does have to hurt like how much more is Adam Scott supposed to do he made it he grew up in Australia he made it to the fucking PJ tour he's won he's won on the biggest stages and like people just love a guy more

and even when they come to his country like they just love the guy more if Els puts Scott against Tiger. Oh, it's just like, what am I supposed to do, right? It's like, I think the team USA is going to win this regardless. Now I just know that they're going to. Like, Adam Scott is thinking about this so much that he had to come out and say it. It's over.

What if the odds are on this thing? It's got to be, I mean, without Jason Dayton. They're going to dominate. Yeah. It's also Tiger Woods against Ernie Ells. Like Tiger Woods doesn't lose to Ernie El like that. What planet would that ever happen? Bet the house, obviously, bet the farm on USA will be there.

Dustin Johnson has withdrawn from the Carol World Challenge that says he is going to play the President's Cup. It's really got me thinking, I think the first thing that crossed everybody's mind when you think, like, DJ, withdrawal, President's Cup, maybe, Kevin Kisner. So that's good. We want Kiz to get in there. So people are thinking that, people are tweeting that at us. It really got me thinking, like, at what point do we stop rooting for all the really good U.S. players to get hurt so that Kiz can make it him? Because, like, Kiz isn't Dustin Johnson and, like, Brooks Kepka. So if we just lose all those guys, then, like, our team isn't as good as much as I love kids.

I mean, Kis's last victory was against you at Palmetto. So it's like, I don't know how much. Well, it's true. Yeah. Right? He missed a cut. He might have played another side match. Maybe, but he missed a cut, like, at his tournament.

In Mexico, he finished what, like, in the 70s? The USA team might be so overwhelmingly better than the, you know, the United States. The U.S.A team might be so overwhelmingly better than the, international team that like we could still lose a couple bodies and if you were placed with Kevin Kisner he's he's more than capable of being good on that team I'm not rooting for anyone to be injured but if you are injured Dustin Johnson and you clearly are because you withdrew from the hero and you know the president's cup is in two weeks you know I feel like at that point it's less about oh I'm too hurt to play than like I don't want to be hurt and also traveling to

Australia so like if you want to duck out do it and I'll watch Kevin Kisner and then we can party with him. Yeah, one of the things, too, I mean, we recall last time Tiger got hurt, he traveled all the way over to Dubai after missing the cut. I think it was a withdrawing it, Tori Pines, and then flew to Dubai, and then he, like, couldn't walk for two years after that. So I do think there's a lot of merit to the fact that when you hurt, you know, I'm flying across the world. So I would not be stunned if DJ didn't play in the President's Cup, and I guess Kevin Kisner would be up next. I mean, I'm kind of... If we took best players in the U.S., we would still win the President's Cup.

Say that again, you cut out. If we took the next 12 best players from America and made that our President's Cup team, do you think we would still beat the international team? My gut says yes. That might be mean to the international team, but my gut says yes. I think we would, too. So that's like what I'm saying. Yeah, if we lose DJ, we're so stacked, we got Kevin Kisner waiting.

Again, DJ would be great. It'd be cool to see him up close. Watching him play is like watching an alien, but I'll still, it's different. Watching him play is different. But I, you know, I'd love to see Kevin Kisner over there. That would be the best. Do they have like, Olae Olae?

Like, what do they do? They're just international people. I don't, that are from different places that root for the same thing. I don't get it. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, that's TBD. I have no idea. That put my mind into pretzel.

Me too. I had never thought about it. No. So you're saying like the fans of this. international squad like how do they how do they cheer how do they rally together yeah how do they come together and cheer for 13 how do fans from australia have like a fucking a rah rah rah ra thing with south korea like there's no fucking way just start ripping ernie ernie ernie i guess that's really like i don't know maybe they start singing we are the world

we are us we ain't usa we are what is that i don't know that place i think it's a michael jackson Oh, okay. Because you're including USA. What's that like hands across? Oh, that's hands across America. So that wouldn't help for them. No. Yeah, they need to come up.

You never heard we are the world. I think I probably have. I'm sorry. I don't know. Old music is something I just don't know. We've gone over this before. But I don't know how the international fans go at it. Maybe they just do their own thing and they just make a bunch of noise.

Yeah, that's probably, I mean, I guess we're going to find out. I mean, they might need us to try to, like, make noise because I don't know. It's hard not having, like, the, like, the Italians and the Francesco Molinarz. We can be like, Felissimo, like, all that stuff. Like, I feel like those types of people bring the crowds that, um, really unite and, like, get the chance going. Like, you're saying, this is, this is going to be a tough, you know, I will say, don't Aussies have, like, the rugby, the rugby crowds? Like, aren't they pretty fucking rowdy?

True. Aussie, Aussie, ooi, oy, oh, yeah, they'll probably just dominate the crowd. They'll get a few, what do they do with their? Foster's, they'll drink a bunch of fosters, and they'll start cheering. I guess that's probably it. Is fosters their actual thing? Is that, like, an Americanized thing that we think that they drink? I think that's it.

It's an Americanized beer that they haven't even thought of. Four fosters, Australian for beer. Yes. Are we going to an outback steakhouse? Yes. That's like Michael Scott going to Sabaro. Yes. We have to go to an Outback Stake.

Outback would be awesome. Do you think there, I mean, there's got to be Outbacks there. How big is that island? Like, we just got to find the one Outback that is there. They put on there, like, sarcastically. And then us stupid-ass Americans are going there, and we are having a blooming onion. There's two in the whole country.

Can't wait to get there. Shut the fuck up. Only two? Yeah. We need a picture of us to have a dinner at the Outback Steakout. We need back. Dude. Thank God we traveled 22 hours for this.

He's just. Checking if there's one. Producer Jake is checking if there's one in Melbourne. If there's one in Melbourne that's within like, I'd say two hours. A blooming onion and a foster's beer. Australia. We made it to Australia. I mean, you got to play up the American dick angle at some point because that's kind of,

I mean, and it's what we, Outback Steakhouse, delicious. It's delicious. We got to do it. Roan is the premier men's performance lifestyle brand. We wear these this stuff, the Roan stuff. They got all kinds of different collections that you're going through absolutely love. They're designed for men who appreciate quality, comfort clothing that fits how they live, work, and sweat. The styles for everything from the gym to the office, Roan is the go-to choice for men living an active life.

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Love their line about making Mondays feel like Fridays. All about that. So again, go to Rhone.com slash 4 today. Get yourself some good apparel. England, the oldest club in England is banning the use of plastic teas. It says beginning on January 1st, 2020, Royal North Devon. It's probably not how you pronounce it because I feel like everything over there is different. Royal North Devon.

that sounds French. That's how you were calling Devon Taves and it made me want to slap you across the face when you were talking like that. He was saying Deval. I'm like, I was like, maybe it's a little joke and then the third day he was still calling him DeVon. I'm like, the guy's not from fucking France.

He's from British Columbia. His name's Devon. It's a weird first name. It's a weird one. But like Devon. How did it all of a sudden become nighttime where you are? Yeah, why are you playing? I was just thinking the same thing.

What the hell happened? It's just midnight now. That sun fell? Bro, the sun was up 20 minutes ago. now you are just in a bunker. You're black. Yeah, no, it's, the sun went down. You guys not know how fucking science works.

What's now a black screen? What's going on? What's going on with these fucking plastic teas? What's so bad with the plastic tea? Here, I'll read it to you. Plastic teas in an effort to keep local wildlife from eating and being harmed by them. So they don't want, well, first of all, plastic teas suck anyway. I feel like we can all agree on that.

And it's sort of the animals not get harmed when they eat. I disagree. I just kind of like plastic teas. Yeah, I do. Okay. I don't like plastic teas. I like the one with like the, four soft edges, not like the eight sharp edges around the

sharp edges stink. Yeah. And they bend, like when you go to put them in. But there's like one with like the four kind of rounded soft edges. I like those T's. I'm not like saving a couple. I'm not saving a dollar for a hundred T's.

I'm honestly just picking whatever T's they have. Just like, give me a bag of T's. Like all these people are like, oh, you're going to go pick, like you're going to save on T's like if you're playing golf and you're like not splurging out for the dollar bag of T's and like golf's not your sport. Well, so I don't. When I play a fancy course, I take as many T's as possible. I never buy T's because when I go play those fancy courses and they have that like wooden little stand-up mailbox with all the assortment of items that you might need.

I'm a full-hand guy and I'm stuffing my bag. I'm going to be using number four Piner's T's and tell them 80 years. That's how many T's I took. Those are wooden. Yeah, I know. We're just talking about stealing T's not so much wooden or plastic debt. I'm saying the classier ones and the places that when they put the nice logos on them, they are wooden. You do bring up an interesting point, like people or animals don't get hurt when they eat.

What, I guess maybe their bodies can break down wood as opposed to plastic. Whatever. It's like you're thinking. It always makes me think about like the dolphins in the ocean that are like they got six pack, those like plastic six pack things around their nose. Like that's kind of what it makes me think about. And that makes me fucking sad. Dude, I think I think I brought this up once, but Kay Marco once had a tweet and like,

I don't want to fucking misquote it. Can you pull it up? I will. I remember it. It was like something about like plastic. straws or paper straws. Fuck, I can't find it right now, but yeah. There's something about like if he has to use a paper straw one more time and it breaks on

him that he's going to go single-handedly wrap plastic around a turtle's neck because he can't take it anymore. It was a very, very funny tweet. I wish I could find it. Oh, here we go. I'm trying. It's a picture of him carrying paper bags. He's K. Marco Barstle.

He says, I'm trying really hard to do my part for the environment, but I'm one more Whole Foods bag ripping after two blocks and smashing my. shit on the ground away from personally wrapping soda can rings around to sea turtles fucking neck that's true i feel like that so many times but we're trying to fucking preserve trying to do the right thing you get these straws and stuff and then like the straw snaps in half the green drink gets all of your your clothes it's like was my straw really the problem right the usability becomes so bad when you drive it like the paper straws if you have an iced coffee or something like that if you don't drink that thing quickly the straw basically

melts into the drink and then you can use bad paper mache It's horrible. Here's what I have to say about this country club banning plastic teas. Let's say it goes worldwide. Will that affect you in any way? No. Not at all. I'll use wooden teas for the rest of my line.

Right. It's not like plastic straws and paper straws, they'll force you. They'll just give you your drink with a paper straw. Like I said, I have so many number four pioneers teas that I'm never going to run out. Yeah, it's almost impossible to hit a good tea shot when you know you have a shitty tea. Like when you put, when you got like a crap fucking plastic pee, and you're thinking like the ball might fall off this thing, it's crooked, no chance you get a good shot.

You got one of them nice salad teas. Pioneers, I'm so glad you said that, Trent Daddy. Pioneers, every, their number, their, each course had their own tea. So, like, the eight, number eight had, like, they were like these light blue, like, candy cane almost like rings around the tea, and they have the eight in the top of the tea. and then the four were like a soft orange I guess is that what it is like a per word in the thing I think around the actual tea part when you're using a tea like that I mean you tea that salad wooded tea it tees it up perfectly nice and straight it almost like that might be

a half a shot difference using a legit tea it makes you feel good when you have a sweet tea and you're teeing it up on like a beautiful track you're just your emotions are high you're ready to go Do teas have any, make any difference in the way the ball comes off of it? I mean, I've been right on a few science calls, but I'm going to say no. What do you mean? Just like the friction, like if it's cup too much or anything. Is there any difference between having like less of a bowl where the ball sits in? I'm going to say no, but my buddy sold me on these margarita teas where basically it's a plastic tea,

but the top, you know, V holder or whatever, is massive, like a margarita glass. And the idea is you tee it forward and the ball sits in that. So there's less friction when you hit it out. Do you follow? This is what I'm saying. So like the tee, instead of being perpendicular to the ground, it's teed forward. But since the holder is so big that when you hit the back of the ball, there's less like friction holding it back. So again, I'm going to say no to it all.

Like do we think Bryson has had, that's what I sat down and like discussed with his team the friction or like the, you know. How to remove friction from a tee shot. Or like, what is the best T that we should use? And like, and if so, like, what do we do? I can almost guarantee Brison has had that conversation. He's talked about T's before. I think he's talked about everything. Comes in contact with the ball.

You got to have a conversation around. Dude, these pros, like, walk up and they get T's from the boxes at the first T. I mean, I watched them do it at pro tournaments. It's not like they have T, you know what I mean? I have seen them do it. And like the caddies all fill up on T's. It's crazy. I watched them do it.

I watched at Beth Page. I watched Dewey go to the fucking look. We were in the wrong spot at Beth Page. And Dewey just went up to the little box and he filled up his little bit. Do you think, but have you ever seen Bryson do it? I bet he doesn't do it. I really bet he has like some sort of special. Or at least there's a mark on it.

So he's teeing up two inches and a quarter off the ground every time. Yeah. So it's that exact, exact distance from the ground each time where other guys maybe like DJ's just like plugging it in. That's the other thing I think about. Like are these guys perfectly putting in the tea every single time? So we think Tiger puts in the tea at the same exact length every single time I tees up. Can you take a look at Riggs and screen? I know.

He's a disaster. understand how he's a floating head yes it's so dark do you think tiger put teased it up at the same exact distance the same exact length every single time go ahead i'm in the darkest place in the world right now i don't know what happened to me i'm trying to find lights looking at myself i mean you just turn the lights off now we can't see anything this is ridiculous how dark i want to say real quick this is hard for you to get points in somebody told me like 15 years ago that if you tilt your T's slightly forward that you get like an extra yard to half and I've been doing it ever since.

Interesting. You know how we talked about a couple shows ago how with the swing we start around with? There's no way I repeat that like at any point during the round. I feel the same about T length. Like I bet I don't put the T in the same like at no point have I ever. That's got to be so important. Think about that. Like if you start to get a swing down and a path and all this stuff and you practice.

I mean there's a sweet spot of the club and you could just be missing it all day because of the way you tee up. This would be a good question for a pro. I was like, like Bryce and them like, what are you, what's your process in terms of putting the, the ball and the tee of the ground? And that's something that all amateurs say to everyone, like if you top on or if you scouring, like, oh, you teet up a little high. What do you know? What do you know about how I teed it up? Like, what the fuck does that mean? I was trying to hit a high ball.

Dude, I watched Kisner tee his up and it's barely off the ground when he drives the ball. It barely up the ground. He tees it really low. I was going to say, too, there's, we've all been there before where you tee it a little higher than you think. You don't notice it until you address the ball and you're like, that's really high. my driver and never be fixed it. No, you just say F it. I'll just take my plane and swing a little higher. How much of an

asshole do you feel like when you adjust your T like two or three times? I've done it before. I've put the ball in and then like I go back and adjust it. It's like okay dude, is that like center meter? Like look at Bryson up there really messing around with his geometry up there. But you know what? It's a big deal. It is. It's where you're

it's the one time on a golf course that you can just like put the ball exactly how you want it. Where you want it to be, how high you want it to be. And we just don't think about it. I'm just like so nervous and there's people watching and I'm just like let's just get this fucking ball on this tea and let's keep it. Probably one of the more important things you have to do when you're hitting a ball. 100% where you're aligning it. And here's the other thing is I hate the fucking mats, right? And I've always talked about this. That's why I used to like sneak

on to golf courses and pepper the greens at 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock a night. Sorry, eyes and air blue. But like every time you show up to this matted driving range, they have these rubber thick teas in the ground and like you're just going to hit it at their length that they give you. Like you pay $20. I always hated that. You pay $20 for 400 golf balls, and every single ball you're hitting is at their fucking length. I would try to take a tee and just shove it into the mat. It's pretty much how I would.

You really can't do this. It would stay like they're kind of. Sometimes it would fall over on its own, but sometimes it would hold for the five seconds. No, it's not ideal. Back in high school, like when they were playing a lot, some are super talls for sure. I once brought a fucking, I once brought a scissor and I just cut it. That's actually a good idea. Yeah.

Because some are like five inches tall and some are like two inches tall. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. You would just cut the mat teeth? You're a, you're a cycle. Yeah. Yeah, but people know that. Yeah, there's no, there's no length that I'll go anywhere to make sure that I have the right length. I hate mats.

I, I, I pissed on mats. Not only are you pepper in Eisenhower Blue par three greens. You're just cutting down mat. When I show up to a driving range, I'm a nightmare for them. Like, I'm stealing balls. I did this, I used to do the thing where. You steal balls? Oh, man.

I used to do the thing where, um, if I saw a guy playing with a practice ball. Oh, I don't take them in the range. I don't take them in the range. range. I wonder if anyone else has ever done this. This is pretty bad, but I used to get the number, the code, right? And there'd be the machine. It'd be two machines. And I would, I would plug in with both my hands at the same time. And the computer couldn't figure out which one was first, whatever, so it would just dispense both balls. And I'd get two machines worth of balls, and I'd walk away with 220 balls for 10 bucks, and I'd play for hours. That's genius, actually. I mean, it's

downright stealing. downright stealing, right? They charge a certain amount for a set amount of balls, and I'm getting two for one. Found a good loophole in the system. You're a menace to the driving range. I am a bad driver. Even on grass driving ranges, I'm a nightmare.

I mean, you guys saw me at, oh, you guys didn't see me, but at, oh, man, my brain's been off. Sage Valley? Sage Valley, I was just chunking the shit out of the ball. I couldn't make contact. The grass was just ruined forever now. You're so. Caddy hated you.

My caddies just walked away with my clubs. He wouldn't let me hit another ball. He picked up my bag and walked to the first team. I wasn't even halfway done. I love that story. Then he was just laying on the tee box. Someone messaged me that they had Clarence at Sage Valley and that he was the best experience they've ever had in a golf course.

That's great. Yeah. A lot of people are saying he's a bagger vans. Yes. Yeah. Well, I've never seen the movie, but I know now that that is what he is. Because I've seen the trailer and I know, I kind of know what that means. That's a no way.

I just haven't sat down and watched a movie. I watched High School Musical, The Music. on Disney Plus, fantastic. You know, I watched for the first time last time? Said to Woolman. No, Wolfel Wall Street. For the first fucking time? Yeah.

It's a bit of a... It's just a bit of a bear. Like, it's three hours I didn't... I didn't see in the theaters, obviously. But I wanted to see it, and Bob Fox. I don't know if he'd ever seen it. No, he'd never seen it either. What's wrong with you two?

So, we watched it. You guys watched Star Wars a million times. You don't watch Wolf of Wall Street? He does that. I don't do that. It's a fantastic movie. Dude. It's great.

Titties everywhere. A lot of tities, which is like... A lot of money. A lot of money, but it's just like just a guy completely off. Leonardo Cabra is fantastic. One of his best performances. So, yeah, at this place, Mill River Country Club that I've played at before, his house that he was in and like flew the helicopter and stuff is right off of Mill River Country Club.

Glennie Balls just helped me that. Yeah, so it's like, and he ended up, what was it like? They say the country club in the movie. Oh, shit. The one he drives down the street, maybe. I don't know. Something like that. But anyway, yeah, it's always fun to like, hear still.

about that like oh he used to fly his fucking helicopter and right there in that back yard it's pretty cool it was a very good movie i'm i'm glad that i watched it's a great movie uh it's a very good movie sent of a woman still the um the rex thing that nobody's watched i don't think so yeah we're pretty good oh yeah i never watched that no no one has although i do get a couple tweets from time and hey lurch what was that movie you recommended sent a woman and then they'll come back like three days later and be like that movie's great have you guys watched the irishman yet yeah i watched the first hour and just didn't take me at all, so I just turned it on. I haven't watched it yet. I'm saving it for our

35 hour of playing experience. Great idea. You only get to watch it once. Yeah. A little joke there. Because it's so long. No, I get it. I get it. Good job. People are making jokes on Twitter all weekend about how long it was. So I just wanted to get in on that game. You guys watching the Mandalorian? Yes, sir. Fucking incredible.

I live with Robbie Fox. I need to get into that. I do have Disney Plus just for watching that. It's really fucking good. Mandeloreans incredible Baby Yoda is a national treasure. Every time he comes on the screen, I want to tear up and joy. I'm turning into a Mr. Softie, man. I'm watching this fucking, I'm watching this high school musical show. It's got me moving in bed, man.

I was snapping my finger this morning. It's a nice way to wake up. What? It's a nice way to wake up. What's the name of the show? I was sitting in bed just like. What's the name of show? Start of something new.

I mean, I'm just, I'm going. It's called High School Musical, The Music. The Series. So you think it's just like a remake of high school musical, but it's not. So high school musical is Zach Efron, remember? You've never seen high school music? You've never heard of it? No, I mean, I've never seen it.

You've never heard of it? Vaguely heard of it. This is crazy, Jake. I mean, maybe it's just like our generation of shit, but this is nuts. High school musical was a massive movie when we were in like middle school in high school. Massive. Yeah, no, I'm aware of the popular. Vanessa Hutchins, the whole thing.

I was in high school. Rick, you ever see the show? A movie? No. Never. Oh, fuck! Yes. Yeah.

That deserves one. That does. That deserves one because you know what? That's crazy. That's crazy. You never seen high school musical. Anyway, it was filmed at this high school, right? In the movie, high school musical, it's filmed at the high school.

So this series takes place at the high school. And they're like, hey, high school musical was shot here. And we find it weird that you guys never did a play called high school musical. That's fucking meta. That was. And yeah, and it's like they're watching the movie and trying to play. So like one kid gets to cast. said as Zach Efron. He's like, I'm trying to be like Zach.

And it's filmed like the office where they look into the camera. It's like funny. It's like mockumentary style. It's fucking good. Like really good. And then the singing's fantastic. Damn. Yeah, I haven't seen. Dude, they're like, yeah, you guys are at East High and you guys didn't. You guys have never done the play high school musical. It was filmed here. And they're like, no, we never thought about it. And they just do the play.

It's really good. What's what else is really good? Brooklyn and Sheets, making your home beautiful is the ultimate form of self- I changed my sheets to Brooklyn. Yes, Frankie. I mean, they are. I got all white. I sleep in a cloud. All white.

White sheets, white comforter, white pillows. And you're just moving and shaking. You got to make sure you're clean when you're doing gruntlet time. Yeah, you don't want to get a stain on those things.

That's why I looked at you a little bit different. Luckily, luckily, luckily no stains. I'm as clean as a whistle when I get into that thing. I know. You're talking about all the stomach issues you've had. You're playing with fire over there.

Dude, I took 11 showers after every time I went to the bathroom. Brooklyn and sheets have been. You're scooting down just sitting down. Dude, we're recording this thing on a Sunday. You guys are lucky my grunnels not out right now. I mean, this is grundle time. It's 5 o'clock on a Sunday.

This is soft close time. This is soft closed time. I should be ankles to ears right now. I should be ankles to ears right now, powder. That's why the powder works on the white, whatever. Go on. And listen, Brooklyn is really, really fucking comfortable. It's like you're like sliding into silk.

It's crazy. Oh, it's good. You spend one third of your life in sheets. You need them to be insanely comfortable like Brooklyn. I've been using them pretty much all year now. I've been in Brooklyn in sheets. Never been more comfortable if you like softness, if you like comfort, if you like any of that good stuff to relax, which you should.

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the galleries some submissions from you folks for play at barstoolsports.com we've been getting a lot lately thank you very much email us forward play at barstoolsports.com so we talked for i think the second time about tiger woods horcruxes which again are from harry potter lord valdemort basically breaks his soul up into like seven different parts and places them into different objects and that's how he essentially becomes invincible and can't die. You have to kill all of them in order to kill him. Tiger Woods obviously has done the same thing. We know that.

Scotty Cameron, all these different things that we listed. However, a bunch of people, and a lot of people submitted a lot of different viable options. One thing that really stuck with me that people have been saying is that there has to be to Tiger Woods has to have something like Voldemort has Harry Potter. is actually unintentionally a horrocks that he made where like neither one of them can what is it neither can live while the other survives something like that and tiger woods all we listed

were positive things like the scotty cameron the green jacket all these different things uh steve williams all these different things that have had like positive impact somebody was like there has to be a negative like harry potter to tiger woods or Voldemort Like is it the fire hydrant? Is it Jack Nicholas? Like what would be Tiger Woods in Harry Potter, basically?

I mean, the first thing that comes to my mind is Jack. Yeah, but here's the problem with that is that Jack had nothing to do with Tiger's, like, demise or like his career really, right? Well, I would disagree with that. I would say the trying to chase down Jack is maybe what made him go a little off the reservation. Yes, but like Voldemore tried to kill Harry. Potter and and it went back at like when he tried to kill him part of his soul entered Harry Potter which now allowed him them both to share that same soul and they didn't know it so it's got to be something I like the fire hydrant right the hit it the day he hit it that

his soul went into it right or I mean you could get really dark and like you can put put it into like a person or something but I like the fire hydrant I you know now that you've explained it that way I think I like the moment he made contact with it you know right because everything was going well like everything's great and then you hit this and it's everything sort of splinters in terms of like where are we going to go now right yeah and in this story tigers to do away with the fire hydrant before he wins you know all his majors blow it up something's got to happen no I mean hopefully there's no fires in that area you know do we need to go take care of that fire hydrant is that what you're telling me frank I think it needs yeah I mean I think at

some point someone needs to do something about it is it still there you think has to be it's a national treasure i know it you know it i know it i've driven right by it no way oh yeah at uh at i o'erth i've i've got friends who are members my my friends parents are members they have a house in there i think baba watson like lived in tiger's old house for a while i don't know if he still does and think they might have sold it but when you drive by it everybody like whispers it's just like fucking sitting right there on the corner you're like you can't miss it i mean it's It's there. Everyone always goes, there's the most famous fire hydrant in the world. Is there like paint chips on it?

It's got to be a fresh coat of paint. Can you notice any like damage? I wanted to like take a picture with it, but they were like, yeah, no, the club really frowns on that. I was thinking there might be like, they'd be like wreaths laid down there or something, like some sort of makeshift memorial that's like, this is, yeah, this is the fucking fire hydrant. That's, it's not crazy to me that it's still there, but it's, I think that has to be what we're talking about in this scenario. Like that, now that the more I think about it, that's got to be it.

That's got to be it. I think that's probably it too. I think that's too good of an answer. People were talking about, you know, maybe the club that allegedly he was struck with, maybe Jack. I don't think any of those are as good as a fire hydrant. I think somebody's got to take out that fire hydrant. Might as well be us.

Palmer submitted a very funny. tweet that he sent where somebody tweeted about like some crazy animal in australia we've obviously talked and documented well how uh there's like a million different animals that can kill us when we go down to australia next week and somebody's response to it was just the quote australia is where the devil keeps his pets is what the person said that's that i feel that in my soul when i hear that that just like cuts right to my core australia is where the devil keeps his pets. Like that's, now that's going to be in my eulogy when I die over there.

Like, you guys are going to be like, well, we talk about on the show that Australia is where the devil keeps its pets and, you know, that tarantula ate Trent's face in the middle the night. Like, it's believable. And now, and now, other than, like, we get tagged in things all the time, right? Like, stuff that we talk about on the show, I've never gotten more tagged than the last couple weeks of just animals in Australia. These guys were driving on a highway and a fucking massive tarantula just suctioned itself

to the side of the window. and they're screaming in horrifying fear. The devil keeps its pets, man. That sounds like a fucking, like a song. Almost sounds like a riddle. Australia is where the devil keeps his pets. It's believable. It's mysterious.

It's definitely true because all the videos I've been seeing, this is the animals over there. It's like a Johnny Cash song. The animals keeps his pets. The animals are not only are they scary, but they're all enlarged. It's like they just like, What's going on over there?

Why is it so different? I don't know. I wonder what the Betty nods for us? Who's going to get injured first? Or who's going to have an animal encounter? I mean, I don't know why, but I think it's got to be Frankie. I just for some reason I feel like that it's going to take down. I don't want to get bit by anything.

I wonder what the Betty nods are. I would say he's the favorite. Just because, like, I feel like they might attack something that is vulnerable and weak. Well, out of the four of us, you know? Like, we're all, the rest of us are a little bigger. Just maybe like the feminine musk I give off, right? Didn't they say that can't bears smell the menstruation? I mean, that's from Anchorman.

So if your science textbooks are, you know, from Willfell. San Diego. A whale's vagina. Yeah. Yeah. One of us, something's going to happen because I heard if you have a feminine forehead, kangaroo will just kick you right in the fucking chest. Something's going to happen.

It's unfortunate, but something's going to happen because there's just, apparently these animals. they said the kangaroos are like squirrels. So we're going to run into some sort of altercation. I want to know more about this Palmer character. It comes up with that line. Australia is where the devil. I mean, he didn't come up with that.

When I first read that, I thought we were talking about Arnold Palmer. I'm so stupid. I thought that was like an Arnold Palmer quote. That's just from a guy named Palmer. That's how dumb I am. I hope his first thing is up Palmer. We should just start crediting Arnold Palmer with that quote and see if we can get it to take off.

I'm in. Definitely good. On that note, we also had another. submission from a guy named Andrew he said, I just wanted to let you know my uncle got stung in his abdomen by deadly jellyfish in Australia and he almost died. Like 10 people were stung that summer and

eight of them died. Just add that to your list if you go into the water. So. I mean, if you think I'm going to water, you're out of your goddamn mind. I might do an ocean dip to start to do. Are we even close to the ocean? Like, what do you? I think it. Well, what do you mean what am I? Like, you could be mid-la.

I don't know where the fuck Melvin is. I think you could be smack dab in the middle of Australia and you'd still technically be near the ocean. I think it's massive, is it not? It's huge. It's huge. I would say if you're in the middle of Australia, you could be seven hours from the ocean.

Dude, Australia is huge. I need to see it like, you know, I need to see it like Australia put on to the U.S. That's right. That's right. That's third grade map. I need to know. Like the first time you saw Alaska overlapping in the U.S.,

you were like, holy hell. Frankie, you showing me this on a map. It shows me nothing. do anything. That's horrible. Like, I mean, like, look at the little fucking, I mean, like, I need Australia. Like, I need a- It's basically like all of South Africa. Look, like that's Australia. It's not even close to the same size of South Africa.

Oh, it's huge. Yeah, it is. Oh, it's big. Is that real? Yeah. It's the size of the United States. Yes, it's the width of the U.S. Yeah.

I was wrong. I'm sorry. I apologize. Yeah, I was wrong. When you were in Iowa, are you close to the ocean? No. It took you fucking 30 years to see the ocean With my guy lurch

Yeah I was just down on the same beach Took you 30 fucking years to the ocean And you thought that Just going to Australia You could just walk to the ocean He touched the ocean in the same outfit he's wearing today Cackies That hoodie

He just rolled up his cackies And let the water ate him on a toes You could say that about every day of my life Every new thing I do is done in this exact area That was the first time the ocean touched your toes The Atlantic The Atlantic I've been in the Pacific

Yeah, Hawaii. Yeah, yeah. Hawaii. I went after high school. Yeah, so I'm sorry. I thought Australia, without like a context of how big it is, I really, you could have told me it was the size of Texas. You know?

So, you know, Melbourne. Melbourne is on the coast, so we'll be right near the ocean. And then we're also going to Tasmania, which is a small island and the courses are on the water. So we will have plenty chances to go in the ocean if you so desire. I don't think anybody will. No, thanks. I think Lurch probably will.

Yeah, I'll jump in. But other than that, I'm a no-go on the ocean. I need Lurch to get stoned by a jellyfish so bad. And then one of the, can we even piss on you? Yeah. I won't take, I'll pay for a golden shower from somebody else rather than taking it for you. I'm going to try to, even if you don't think you got bit by a jellyfish, I'm going to try to convince you that you did just so I can piss on you.

No. Okay. It can happen. I guess, hell, if I'm desperate, shit, I'll take it. It's for your well-being. I'll take it. Smaya will piss on me to clear that jellyfish up. It's for your...

I hope they'd do it on your forehead. I'd love to just piss on your head. Thank you. There's not a chance. Let's say you were in dire need, like you were going to die. I would take it. Absolutely. Even if it was like on your inner cheek and it's pissing your mouth.

I would pee on myself. Oh. What do you mean now? You go and you're scrambling around. Dude, the jellyfish stopped you right on your... I would lie on my back and arch the piss right on my face before I took it from you. Dude, what if the jellyfish got you right on the... the grundle and you had to spread open your legs and I had pissed right on your ass I

pissed all over you man but you had to you couldn't you couldn't get it there the angle wasn't right and I just I pay an outrageous amount of money to be airlifted to the hospital let me piss on your ass oh my what to save your life to save your life what you die if you don't have somebody pissing you like next topic Rick I'll take I'll take like the swelling and and I think I think the piss saves you I mean flip it on it's head what would it take for you to allow me to piss on you. Anything. Anything that has to do with me dying?

You can do whatever you want. I'm yours, man. I'm free use. We got to talk about something else. Stop dying? Dude, I don't think it kills you. Does it? I don't know.

I've heard stories. I didn't think it was going to go that way when we started talking about. That's a porn category. That's so funny. I brought that up. You want to pee on me? No, I just, whatever.

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You're one of those people who knows. It's understandably that you're wildly better than I. Yeah. That's exactly right. If it's like if it's any of us or just like somebody you're out there hacking with on the weekends, no thank you. I'm good. But yeah, if it's Kevin Kisner who can look at your swing for two minutes and can say if you do these two small things, you're going to be a much better golfer, I'm in. But other than that, other than that, let's just play.

Let's just have a good time. Don't act like you are that much better than I. Yeah. If you're going to start a tip by saying, you know, I'm in no place to say this, but then just show. Shut up. How often does that happen? Where they're like, you know, I probably shouldn't be saying something right now. I do that all the time.

I don't do that. I don't give swing tips. What the fuck would I? What am I going to give you? I don't know anything. You're right, though. If a person says that, they've already answered their own question. Yeah, anything before but to pull shit.

Yeah, I never ever give swing tips. I mean, unless someone asks me, like, oh, like, am I coming from the inside? I'll be like, all right, I really don't know, but I can look for you, like, or take a video or something. What if somebody comes up to you and says, do you want a tip or anything? I'll take it. You'll take it. I'm not an asshole. I'm not an asshole.

Sometimes I'll say no to that. Sometimes I'll say yes, depending on my mood at that current time. I mean, I think you come off incredibly impolite if you're like. I mean, you have to say yes. No,

I don't want your tip. Even if the tip is effective enough, at that point, my curiosity is piqued. My curiosity is piqued. I want to know, my curiosity is keyed. I want to know,

I want to know like, all right, what do you think? Because I know you think it's something. So just tell me. You know what I mean? I think if someone asks you, you do you want a tip you have to say yes because they've backed you into a corner but if someone

just blatantly says like you did something wrong that gets in your head more like at least give me the warning like all right you're about to say something i have the option to ignore it or take it whatever just let's talk but if someone like if i hit a ball out of bounds and then like you came way inside or something like that i'm just like in my head like shut the fuck up bro like you think i don't know i played a guy this weekend sick golfer he's like a scratch played a vanderbilt um anyways he goes driving past the range and i'm hitting like five balls before we tee it up And I pulled every ball left. And he's like, oh, yeah, I saw those balls.

Like, all you got to do before we tee it up, he's like, all you got to do is have, like, a stronger left hand. And then the whole round, I was just thinking about squeezing the club more than my left hand. It is, it didn't go well. Yeah, something like that. But he was noticeably better, you know, like. Yeah. And I was like, interesting. I never even thought about my grip pressure.

But now that's all I can think about. So let's go play golf. You got to squeeze your left hip a little more. Like, what? And then at that point, you almost have to be like, what do you mean by that? You can't go all day being like, my left hand. What do I do with that thing? Well, I also boil the golf swing into like three things.

And so when you start talking about grip pressure and everything else that's going on, it's like I don't even account for that as like my potential myths. Like that's just something that's like going on, but I'm not focused on at all. So when you add that, I mean. Nightmare. The simpler the better. Oh, yeah. For golf swing.

Straight left arm, swing the club, see what happens. happens. Perfect. What about you for terms of golf tips? Yeah, you got to read the room. And it's all based on somebody has to be clearly very good at golf. Unless you played like collegiate golf or better, I don't know that you could be giving anybody swing tips. Like you, because even if you're pretty good, if you're like a five or a six or something, like I don't want to fuck.

You still suck it off. You still hit horrible shots all the time. the fuck would I listen to what you're saying. So I think a person needs to be clearly a very, very good golf to give. Yeah, but like it also depends on the type of tip. Like maybe it's not something that's so, like you gave me the paint to the picture thing and that helped me drastically. And I didn't ask for that.

I was just like, I was walking off the green like with my head down. And you're just like, dude, you're blowing these balls by like I can't watch them. We're just stop like putting to the hole. Like even if like my buddy who's never like broken 100 before. said that to me, I think that would be helpful. You know what I mean? Visually, though, that's different. Like, a swing tip to me is, like, is wildly different than that.

Like, paint a picture in your head. Like, that's not focusing on your swing at all. That's just, like, visually something. Or even if you're telling a guy. Yeah, so I separate those tips. What about the swing hard people? Like, you're swinging too hard. I mean, I do swing too hard.

I swing, like, I'm in fast motion. But, like, what's a tip. You think that's a tip? Swing tip. But that's, like, pretty visible. Like, you can see when someone swings out of their shoes. Totally. But those are things that sometimes,

I appreciate, hey, you're a little quick or like when I'm hung over sometimes. Sometimes I'm just visibly swaying. You know, like, I am not a still body and I'm like chunking it. And it's like, buddy, like you're like a foot right and a foot left, like in terms of your head when you take the club back. So you probably want to stop swaying. I appreciate some of that stuff. Right. I don't know.

It's a tricky one. I guess with the golf swing, what I think is like somebody says, like, who the fuck are you, that you're able to look at my golf swing, know enough about the golf swing in general, diagnose where a problem is and then offer a legitimate solution like no fucking chance where it's like a putting thing I think is a little different but you are right frankie like I guess I did give you that and it worked and other times I could have said that it could have been a so like you never you never really know with that another question I have for you guys have you ever got a pedic here yes no I'm not I'm not against it but I would I have a I got something going on my toe right now um you ever got a pedicure no but you want to talk about pedicures i got something

going on my toe where i stubbed it hard real hard and it turned like it was fucking bruised and now i just have a dude now i'm talking i fucking stubbed the shit out of my toe i was crying like whip that puppy out no i can't dude i can't whip it out i refuse let me see that toe i can't do my let me pee on it i'll help the toe's black right now like it's there's there's blood and you're like Mr. Deeds? Yes. Well, Mr. Deeds is such a fucking good movie. I'm obsessed with him.

Where'd you stop it? Would you stab it on a spike or something? We were at Labor. This is back in Labor Day. I had the house and the Hamptons. That's not my foot. It's not the foot. I got the house in the Hamptons, the whole fucking thing.

And we're in the living room and there's a fireplace. And around the fireplace is just a raised like granite area. So there was like a fucking sharp edge and we were drunk. And I was like, running like I'm going to get you to someone like doing something stupid and I was sprinting with those shoes on and it hit the corner and I just went I looked around at like 20 people and I was like what happened dude it hit me like a it hit me like a bullet and it still hurts to this day it was labor day I in that moment in between when you hit your toe and before the flood of pain hits you

I wouldn't mind just getting shot in the head because that pain is so bad when it does it just like you splits your toe and you're just waiting for it. You're just like, all right, now I've got to stand here. And in two seconds, I'm going to be in some of the worst pain I've ever been in. I'd rather have someone just knock me unconscious. It's close. It's close. Are you getting a pedicure? Why do you ask? Well, people keep telling me that this hotel I'm at, it's called the Fairmont, Southampton and Bermuda. A great spot. As like a legendary spa. And I've, I've always loved, like, foot massages, like the three times we've ever gotten in my life. And so I was thinking,

maybe I'm going to dabble in a pedicitor game while I'm here. Treat yourself. So you should. And the other thing that a good one will do is they'll get you this like salt exfoliation and they'll rub your calves as well. So it's not just a foot massage, but they'll go up the calf and rub your calf as well. And then you're just a basically I got one one time in this little Asian lady.

So you sit there and your foot is like, you know, she's like prepping it or whatever. And she looked at me and she's like, you're not ticklish, are you? And I was like, no, why? She's like, because if you ticklish and you kick, I go through the wall. You're a giant. Yeah, you're huge. Dude, I'm so ticklish. That was her nice way of saying like, oh my God, you're an ogre.

Why did Shrek? This is not the Norman clientele that I serve. I have too soft a skin to not be ticklish. I'm so ticklish. Nothing on my body is rugged. Most people have 15 layers of skin. You have four. What would be stopping you from getting to pedic here?

Like society? No, you should go get it. It's awesome. Nothing. I'm going to do it. I just wanted to run and buy it. I just saw a DM. Somebody's like, I think if you're staying at this hotel, you just made me think of it. So I just brought it up. Some places will serve you a beer or whatever. You can hang out and get a pedicure. It's a lovely time. Boys, I'm struggling

with this. So I'm going on vacation to Atlantis for Christmas. I'm super excited. The place looks incredible. I've been getting so many messages about how incredible this place is. And one of the things that my lady friend wants to do is go get like a couple's massage. And I don't know if I want to do it. Like I just don't know if like that's for me. Like I'm like, I could be golfing at that moment. Like, why should I take an hour and a half out? And I heard that it's life change. Do it.

Have you never gotten a massage? I've never gotten like a full massage. Brother. I go to the chiropractor. It's kind of like that. No, I know. Do it. Do it.

It's opposite. Dude, do it the way. Just do it one time. The lady friend wants to do it so it gives you an excuse to go. Just do it. It is. Will it change by life? Yes.

You will become a massage guy. You'll be like, everyone's shaking their head. Yes. Unless some hot guy takes your girl and starts massager. That's even then. Yeah. Some guy named like Francois comes in with like. A bottle of water.

It's your lady friend. Like you ready for your massage and he's in like shorts and I have like I have Doris who comes in with like a full suit on and just like let's go to scratch. She's going to look at that guy who's like jacked and ripped in like perfect in shape and you got like this milk doughy body. She's like see you. I think you, this is your opportunity. You just got to do it.

You should 100% do it. You'll love it. An hour, hour and a half, dude. You'll come out of there feeling like, loose, man. Your body's, like, loose. I'm also, like, too, like, soft to, like, I don't know. Don't ask for a deep tissue.

I was going to say, they're going to fucking hurt me. Yeah, you'll be. You come out of there with bruises all over your body. No, all right. I guess that's all that, you know, that's all I needed there. Yeah, it's 100% do it. Yeah. 100%.

Yeah, my mom, I used to get massages after every football season when I played in high school. Worth it? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You thought about getting a massage at Jake Owen's event. So did you.

Well, the way you were talking it up. Yeah, we were at Jake Owen's hotel. We were in the hotel. It was like floor two, spa. We were just like, should we go do it? Should have. I should have done it. Yeah, I didn't.

But I said I did towel time. Yeah, I just sat. I went out of my balcony. Hold on. Full of clothed and just sat there. No, I did towel time. And there was a pool down there, which was tough because I thought maybe for a couple moments that I was exposed. But you probably looked like a star.

You would have heard about that by now. Yeah. The police would have, what's going on? What did Riggs fall off the building or something? Yeah, he doesn't look well. I don't know. The screen is all messed up. But yeah, massages are worth it.

I know I want to kill. You love towel time too, right? It's nice. It's real nice, isn't it? It was nice in that setting because it was like the ocean breeze was coming off. Yeah. And it was like 78 degrees. Yeah, it's perfect.

It was nice. That's perfect towel time. I drank a nice cold. I actually got a glass of water. There was some ice. And there was an ice machine. And I put water in from a bottle into the, glass I sat outside and drank an ice cold glass of water.

Very nice. That's delightful. My grundle out. But yeah, that's about it. That's all I got today on this Sunday. Now it's time to get some soft clothes. Boys. 54-hole stroke play event.

We're going to have Andrew, producer Andrew, who is getting murdered by Bermuda thus far, is going to be basically tracking me and posting updates on stroke play. Stroke play's a whole different bear. I think it's just incredible. different. So I'll be playing golf in Bermuda and updating with the Gosslings rum. It's going to be a great time. I heard that I'm going to be drinking a lot of dark and stormy, so get excited for that. Go check out our merch, store.com. We put a bunch of new stopout for the holidays. We got polos. We got all the kinds of good stuff from Seamus Golf, from Bill

Murray golf, a lot of good things. So go check out all of our gear. We'll be back on Thursday. I think that's all we got, right, boys? That's about it for me. yeah all right that's a tired sign off right there well yeah rainy colding my because we got Monday coming up

we've been off for a while so I'm like getting Sunday scary's big time yeah have to and then we have a long day tomorrow with the we have a cyber Monday well when this comes out it already have happened so that doesn't matter

so we have cyber Monday thing all the way until like 10 o'clock tomorrow night and then Tuesday we have a day of work again and then I'm doing pup punk practice Wednesday we fly out on a private jet again which makes me nervous because there's a whole band this time and people know what happens to bands on private jazz we're going out to missou yeah we're going out to missou i mean fucking not good um and then

so then we're playing in a concert i'm playing in a full-fledged concert for like a thousand college kids at missou flying straight back on thursday um may go back for the island of game on thursday night because i need one more game and i'm missing all the games in december and then friday we fly out to fucking Australia. It's nonstop. I already packed for Australia. I haven't yet. I got to do that. I'm already fully packed. Damn. You already from Florida yet. I just draw my stuff on the floor.

I still have my clothes I'm going to wear like this week, but I'm like pretty, I bought new luggage. You can fit two of me inside of it. It's massive. And I'm like basically everything's in there. All my golf clothes are in there. I'm, uh, I won't see you boys again until Friday. I'm landing in New York, going to my apartment, packing for Australia and then going back to the airport. where I'll see you guys. Are we going to the office on Friday? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, yeah, you guys do whatever you want, but I'm going to, I don't get, me and Andrew get back from Bermuda on Friday. So we got, Australia's coming up real, real soon, boy. Yeah. All right. Now we're just having a work meeting on the, on the pop. That's fine. Yeah.

All right, we'll see you guys on Thursday. Hit it hard. Yep. Hit it hard. Hit it hard. Hit it hard.