Fore Play - Frankie Is Fat

Episode Date: January 5, 2021

Happy New Year to all with our first in-person podcast in months! The crew is all together, and the biggest story in golf is a recent photo of Frankie Borrelli’s super-sized face. We spend plenty of time on that, on how to define “career low” after Lurch posts a 71, some 2020 stats, 2021 predictions, and much more. New year, new us, let’s go!!!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/foreplaypod

Hey, 4Play listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's January 5th when this comes out, 2021, brand new year we got a lot to get to. Now, we really can't get to any of it. Frankie's Brad. We're going to jump right into it. I mean, we have to. I mean, we're talking about before we turn the mics on, so we probably should.

The amount of times we've said to each other thus far, save it for the show, and the jokes that have been flying in Frankie's direction. Now, let me start by saying this. If you haven't seen it, go to Twitter.com. There's a picture of Frankie's face. He looks like a fat fuck. Now, you've seen it. Type in the moon. You'll see Frankie's life. What I want to say is that, you know, when you're in this business, when you put yourself out there on the internet, you're going to have bad photos. Like, no matter who you are, horrific photos, every single one of us. Lurch is probably the only handsome fellow on the show. He's got a bunch of horrible photos out there. Everybody's got. You are, though. You are like classically handsome. Thank you. I think that's right, especially

What a turn this is take you? But especially compared to the three of us. I know, I do have awful photos out of the web. I mean, I've got a body built by hot dogs. And you don't know how to dress. So those two things. Right. I'm going to blend of red on right now.

So my, you do have two different shades of like reddish salmon pink on. Yeah, I'd call that pink. But let us not, you know, deter from the main point here, which is that Frank, now I assume you did some move, Frank, where you're getting ahead of it because you posted the picture yourself. and you hashtag moon faced it and it is you have like 37 chins in the picture

and it's just it's on I'll let you address it what did you I'll let you talk but I've been laughing about this for three days now I've been texting you all the time too to be like this is the funniest thing I think that's ever happened I was at a friend's house for New Year's Eve it was six of us all close friends

We're all just, one of my friends bought a new house, real small thing. So we're all setting up a photo to just show, you know, we're in the new house, we're all sitting on a couch. And we take one of those photos where you set it up, you just count to 10, you just look at the flash, whatever. And I'm in the middle. And I have both my arms up, whatever. And, you know, the photo was on. No one even looks at it, really. The phone's still on this thing.

We're watching the Knicks game or something, whatever's on the TV. And minutes go by, and someone, one of the girls just goes, oh, my God. and they're looking at the phone. I'm like, who died? Like, what's the fuck? I'm sitting on the cat around myself. I'm still on the cat around myself. Like, what the fuck's going on?

And one of them goes, Frank, you're not going to believe this? Like, give me the phone. You, the thought of you innocently sitting there like, gee, I wonder what they're looking at. And that's when I knew something was bad. So they showed it to me and I just looked at it like, holy fuck. Like, there's no way. There's no way that's what my face looks like. And, you know, people have said, oh, maybe it's the optics.

Maybe it's the way your arms are. There's too much flesh there for that to be any sort of optic illusion. It's just as what it is. It's amazing because there's no neck. It's just all one big cheek. Even around that. I think the moon face is perfect because there's fat all the way around your skull. Not just at the chin level, but like near your earlobes.

There's like a layer of fat. You know that Jerry for our picture they mocked up for the, the, Fantasy football punishment that you're doing. You look, you look just like that. And looking at you now, now that we're in person, like, you don't look the way you look in that photo right now. I could have been swollen. I mean, that photo.

I wouldn't have on the aircraft. Look if you look that one. It was insane. I've got this little bit of chin hair, too, which just makes it so much worse. It is just, it looks Photoshop. It does. Like, someone tried to make me. It's the first thing I said to you.

As I, you tweeted that and two minutes later, I text me, I was like, is that Photoshop? And you're like, no, dude, fuck you. I got some funny text messages after that photo came out. Well, the thing is that that photo was never going to see the light of day. Did you try to delete it? No, I, no. Well, I just didn't know when you got your girlfriend's phone. No, it was just like, I was never going to see, like, no one else like the way they looked

in the photo. It was just going to be a photo that was just lived on someone's phone. Right. Never going to be on the internet. They didn't like the photo. And I was like, can you send that to me? Because people need to know what's going on. Because, like, I can't hide that.

That's something that can't be hidden. So credit to me. Yeah. fucking putting that thing on the internet when it never would have seen the light of day. Well, I think you're, you know, you're a guy that can laugh at him. I had to. And that's just one of the fun of those things. It's the funny thing.

Everybody gets caught red-handed, doing something wrong or looking horrible. Yeah. You got caught. It's amazing how small your little chin patch of hair is compared to everything else. It's as fat as anyone can ever be. Some guy, I tweeted it and then some guy tweeted me and said, the only thing separating his mouth and his nipples is that little patch of hair. I mean, this is, I'll tell you what,

I'll say, this is when, this is when our, our listeners and stoolies and everybody, this is when they're at their best, when they can really, diving, dig at you. When they can really punch that, I mean, you being a fat guy, like they,

you love the one where the person just responded. It's the pursuit. You just filled with the prosciute. I did love, they just said the prosciute. And Frankie's been talking about prosciute for two months now. Listen, I've been eating like shit. I'm, um, I'm, um,

I was probably bloated that day. I was on a streak of five days of eating Italian meats. I'm eating cured meats left and right. It's crazy what's going on with my meat intake. It's... Get a good look at it, Lerge. I just simply can't believe it. I said that to...

There is fat everywhere around your face. Robbie Fox texted me today, and he's like, I'm still looking at this photo. I can't believe it. And I said the word unbelievable gets thrown around a lot because we even put $5 in a kitty for it. Yeah. This is truly an unbelievable picture. It's something that you don't believe.

It's like the definition of the word, unbelievable, is that photo. So we can move on from it. I know this is an audio podcast. No, we don't have to, but I, because I really don't want to. I think it's my, I have a lot of salt intake. I mean, my blood pressure is going through the roof. I want, like, would you guys eat? We're in this hotel right now.

What do you think it is? So if you're going to put it to one thing of why it's how much. It's how much probably like salty meats I'm eating. That's how much I mean. I'm eating produce like every single day, which is probably. as bad as it could possibly be for you. Plus, I'm just, like, not doing anything. We've been quarantined.

Did your girlfriend give you any warning signals, like you're looking fat? No one ever looked at me like this. No one's ever told me once that I looked like that. You also just, you don't look like that. Like, that's not where you look like. I know I've been getting a fat face. I know I have been.

I know I have some round features now. That has never been present in my entire life. There's no definition to this face. There's an obese person. That's just a circle. Someone said that the body, the body attached to that head is 300 pounds. That's just something is.

But instead it's like a skinny, frail, weird body. So that's the worst combination of all time. What are you going to do to try and fix this? You can do anything? Oh, well, that's, I bought the Peloton prior to this photo being taken. So that's the most, like, that's great purchase, Frankie. And then you, I also saw that maybe 24, 48 hours later, you just tweeted out, I'm fat. Like, you've been thinking about it.

Well, yeah, because we were sitting at dinner the next night and people just started laughing at the dinner table, just like now, like just crying, laughing, looking at the photo. And I'm like, it's official. Like, I'm just fat now. Yeah. That is what it is. Like, I have a fat face. People have, that, that picture will live on the internet forever.

Riggs, you have any fat photos. Yeah. Definitely. I know you've got, you know, I don't want to go there. But, you know, it angles. Everybody knows it. It's just like, you get the wrong angle. And it's funny because, like, you'll get, you just have one photo or one screenshot

from a video. Riggs had the baby photo. The baby photos is preposterous. Right. The hockey one is. Proposterous photo. And not only do I look pathetic, but I look fat as fucking. And then, but what's weird is you'll get screenshots from people.

And then the next day you'll see somebody in person and be like, oh, you're looking good. What do you mean all the time? They're like, oh, you're like not as like, because people like on the internet like don't think he's like shorter than he is. And you see him in person. Like, oh, yeah, you're like tall or you look different. When I first saw Dave, I remember being like, oh, my God, but like he doesn't look like what he looks like on camera. So, yeah, it's the thing you don't want to do. And I know Lurch and I have been there is,

cross over the threshold where most of the pictures are like that. It's not the one. It's that like if you start getting everything. Well, then you're just fat. Then you're truly fat. But then it will happen from time to time. We'll be wearing the right thing. And people be like, why are you skinny?

And like, I haven't done anything. I have way the most ever way to my life. I've taken a couple photos since that. And I've made adjustments to the way I take it. I look out. It's scary. Yeah, I think this photo in particular, the one that we're talking about. I think your head is back.

And it starts to force everything. sinking into your neck. There's a few things that are way off. It's off. Listen, it's off. But, like, night's like tonight,

we just got off a plane. I didn't really eat all day. I got home. You know what I just ordered to this fucking place with Uber Eats? What? I ordered, Benny Hanna for two. I got steak and shrimp,

and I had fucking fried rice for two. So two orders of each, and I crushed the whole thing. I was going to say, you had no carbs up until the rice. The absolute, no, I was going to say if that food still here,

I'm going to break down your door. I was just walking to this hotel. but I'm talking like completely covering it in that ginger sauce. Yeah. So like my mouth is just one big salt, like piece of salt. It's a salt that's getting me. I think it's a salt. Doesn't seem like you're changing.

It's a salt, no. Ways. Yeah, I thought, because I've been eating healthy the last five days since that photo is not. Dude, I actually eat seeds. I used to crunch, like, because playing baseball my whole life, I always just fucking crushed seeds. That's like my biggest thing. Dude, I'll be honest.

That photo's more than salt. You know what I mean? But I think salt's a big problem. I think it's bloating me. I crush seeds in my room. And I spit into a cut. I can just eat. I have salt all day long.

I got to stop the salt. It's, you know, but it's probably indicative of something else. I haven't done anything else. I haven't done any exercise. This photo will be a good thing, Frank. You look back and it'd be a good moment.

Not only will it be a good thing for you, but I bet the internet's going to latch on to it and be like, this is making me feel like I got to get myself together because I don't want to be looking at pictures of myself in 2021. That's goal is pretty obvious for you. It came out of the perfect time. That photo is. single-handedly driving down the obesity rate in our country.

I mean, hopefully the Peloton starts to kick in the first couple weeks that I get it. If that thing can thin my face out, then that's the, I mean, start, where's the ad rate for that? You got to find an instructor. I feel like that's where everybody says you got to find a go-to instructor you really like, and then you just hand it. The good thing about when you start losing weight is it goes out of the face first. Really? Yeah. You'll notice it in your face first.

That's a good idea. Do you find that to be the case or no? Yeah, a little bit. I think that's right. I think everywhere else is a slower burn. Are we taking fucking weight loss advice? No, I think that's right,

because I'm trying to think back to like when I... I lost a ton and it's true. Yeah, when I like diet. Get your shots in fat, man. You kind of just glanced over that. Get your shots in fat boy.

All right. We'll move on. I mean, we'll move on. One of the funniest pictures to ever grace the internet. Yeah. It was a very,

very funny weekend of tweets and text messages. I will say that. I like laughing at my expense. It's something I enjoy doing. doing. I think that's why we are here at Barcelona because we can laugh at ourselves. If you can't laugh at yourself, you're in the wrong business here. Let me tell you. So yeah, it was a fun weekend. I'm glad. I'm glad. I keep retweeting it. Like, I keep tweeting out pictures of it. Like Big Cat just tweeted it out the other day.

Well, it's funny every time you see it. Every time like an hour ago. Right. So that's it. I tweeted out yesterday. Right. You just have to. Is that your first true fat guy photo? Yes. It is. Well, no, there's been a couple like bad angles, but that's your true number one. That's obese. It's good. Welcome to the socks. Yeah. Three fat guys on this podcast.

Right. Just need one more. What are you doing? I say you had 0.8 on your whoop the other day. What are you doing? You're trying to join this side of the table? Dude, Saturday, very funny tweet that you had. Very funny.

75% of the podcast has turned to fat so. I can just call them all of us fat guys. It's really fun. It is very funny that your way of digging it, Frankie is to loop him in with you and Lurch. And I just got, like, sandbagged into that. Well, come on. I mean, go to the archives of this podcast.

How many times he made fun of you and me for being fat? Well, I mean, when I wasn't on the show one time, he was just digging at my body how it's horrible. Well, it is the worst thing in the world. Whoever's not on the show, Frankie, just sui-can't-worked-old. So I know the worst thing for him is to get looped in with us chubbos. And I have the worst body. I'm not just fat.

Like, I can't fill out a T-shirt because I'm too skinny. So it's like the combination of both is maybe the worst combination. Yeah, at least if you're fat, you got like fat guy's strength. 100%. Oh, yeah. I can lift a lot of things. I can lift. He's got the worst body on the podcast.

100%. I think we all agreed with that one time. It's not even close. Yeah. I'm half dead and now I'm half obese. Your girlfriend's still attracted? I don't know. Half dead half obese.

I don't know how. Attractic can't be the word. Who's your boyfriend? That, you know, half dead obese guy in the corner. Maybe she's comfortable. I don't know. It's not good. Whatever I'm doing to myself is not good.

So I got to start. I got to get going. I missed my first hockey game today. Roller hockey? Yeah. Damn. You know, this is game one?

Game one's today. I don't know. Did they win? Did they lose? I didn't check. That was going to be the thing that got you back in the shit. It was. I need to find a hockey team in Arizona.

My wonder is, is the hockey going to be terrible? Do they have rings and stuff? Awesome Matthews. You ever heard of them? Yeah, there's got to be a bunch of like, you know, transplants that came from other. And awesome,

Matthews, He's like, he's like building hockey out there, isn't he? Because that's where he's from. I don't know if he's building hockey. I'm saying, I'm sure there's like. Yeah, big influence. Yeah, yeah. Good.

For sure. I was hoping to be the other way. I hope everybody sucked and I'd be like Wayne Greta's. Yeah. So, yeah, it's a D1 team now too, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it's on the up.

So they got to have some hockey. Yeah. Anybody out there shoot me, I want to, I need to get back. That was my big thing was that I was, I refused to go to the gym. I can't do it. We talked all about that with Equinox and that fucking nightmare. Literally the day after we talked about that, I got billed again and I almost lost my money. What, the seven bucks?

You don't, no, no. This is a different one. I joined a new one after that because, you know, there's not as many options at the $7. When you go there to do cardio, if you want to do anything else, you got to get something else. This one was $100. My big plan was I was skating twice a week. Then we were doing the varsal pond hockey on the weekend. So some weeks, I was skating three times a week.

Hockey's the best workout you can have. It's so good for you. You're strained. I wasn't on a whoop at the table. time but my boy on the team was and you know your strain the maximum you can get in the day is like 21 and if you run like a marathon it's like 18 or 19 skating he would be at like 17 for the day like when you skate so that was my big thing and then a fucking global pandemic came and shut that down I haven't skated since I'm so out of shape I hopped on I bought a bike I put it in my room for quarantine I don't get on that much

but I'm so at a shape that I did 15 minutes and it was a 14 on the whoop my heart was just to do don't don't dude I had again I was packing for this little trip around which I mean it's the shortest trip of all time. And my fucking whoop detected an activity. Yeah. That's how pathetic I am. It was like from 1129 to 1132. It doesn't detect activities or I'm not doing any activities.

Based on, you know, I'm not doing it. I think, I think I'm not doing any activities. I think you just found the answer. I think so. You always like spinning webs and then always like throw dirt on yourself. I think that was it. Yeah. Is it hot in here?

Is it just a little very hot? I'm starting to heat up. I think my deodor is starting to war off too. You guys stop talking to me like a fat person. I feel like I just got brought to a meeting. I really, I'm not going to. Unless you start hot on that. Yeah.

So now. Start hopping on that bike and maybe I won't do it anymore. Yeah. It's in the best interest of everyone. So we're in California. We're going to talk about cocktails real quick. Owens mixers, uh, transfusion this past weekend. The reason I was at a 0.8 through, I think about 5 or 6 p.m. on Saturday.

It was because I had a few cocktails and when they're that delicious. There's really nothing you can do about it. Owens. They got them on Amazon, which is great. You can get that shit delivered right to you. Everybody knows Amazon. Everybody likes Amazon. It's very easy.

You have an account. Boom, you get like the next day. Transfusion shows up. Mank cucumber lime shows up. Grapefruit and lime shows up. That's what we're crushing when we beat Pap Perez. So go do yourself a favor. Go to Owensmixers.com.

If you're trying to figure out where the transfusion is, is it local, can you go get at the retail? They got a little store locator on there. So go to Owensmixers.com. And be sure, again, to realize that you can just whip up awesome cocktail at home with Owens mixers. It's that simple. It's that easy. You just order that stuff.

You put it in with ice and boom, you're ready to rock. Or also with your liquor of choice. I know Lurch likes a little tequila. Well said. I like a little vodka. Whatever you choose. Put them in there. Paloma.

Is that your drink there, Lurchy boy? That is. Spot on. It's a good drink. Paloma. Paloma. What's that? You don't know this?

No. Tequila. Grapefruit. Is that the name of the drink? Yeah. It's called a Paloma. It's a Paloma. It's basically, it's a greyhound.

If you know that in the vodka world, then you just swap out the vodka for a little tequila. And so, yeah, it's grapefruit juice, tequila, and you throw a little lime in there. Okay. Paloma, a city? That's what I was trying to get out. Yeah, I think it is. Okay. But I don't want to go too far down that road.

South, South America. I don't want to touch that topic. We've never been geographically good on this show. No. Not at all. I feel like we could be close right now to a Paloma. Argentina? we could be close to a polo

I was definitely thinking in South America for sure no I wasn't yeah yeah anyways you can make a very easy Paloma with Owen's actually and they're delicious we're doing that pap rest back

extremely good as you alluded to that's why I didn't know Frankie if he was like making fun of me because you just explained the drink and then he goes what is it well he's in a weird state right now get this this should be all topic

sorry it's in California what I knew we were close fan we're in California I didn't look that close. That's fine. Could we go to Paloma like tomorrow? How happy would you be there?

Do you have to Paloma and Paloma? As long as it opens. Paloma's in the United States of America? I wouldn't have guessed that. I bet you there's a couple. Well, this isn't that shocking to me because I didn't know this was a word until two seconds ago. Right, so you had no basis.

Yeah, where you thought it could do. Nothing about this is exciting, man, because I just didn't know it existed. A little programming note. Thursday, we will have the Joel Day. Damon, four-man scramble video out and ready to rock. We have our most recent scramble match, which was a charity event that I think we lost. But we played Page Brannick and Company.

That one's on YouTube. You can check it out. Big credit to Brendan Jones, to Jake Bass, who are guys, our producers, our editors, getting these videos out. We got a bunch of stuff that we've been teasing since, I think, mid-November. A ton of banked videos. We're out here now in California, as you may guess, filming more videos. we're going to be releasing the hell out of these things for the next two or three months.

But we're almost at 100,000 subscribers on YouTube. 97.7. Crazy to me that with all the listeners, we have hundreds of thousands of listeners. Crazy to me, we can't get 3,000 people to just go hit subscribe. Just go hit subscribe. 300 people, no, 3,000 people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just go hit subscribe.

We should have 100,000 after this show. On Wednesday, we should have 100,000 people. YouTube, check it out. Go there, subscribe. I'm being competent. I tweet out that picture myself, and the last, we should have 100,000 after this show. And the least you could do is go fucking subscribe Yeah

Honestly, it's the least you could do it If Frankie's tweeting out that photo, you can hit the subscribe It's a free little button that you hit Can't wait for that promo tomorrow Also it feels good to hit a button Yeah It just feels good That's satisfying

Easy button Easy button We had one time in college We had some of our friends With the easy button Was it a popular on what was it Target or whatever Or it? Staples maybe

And somebody had the easy button up on the glass and one of our guys scored and went over and hit the easy button against the it's great yeah it's a good moment yeah it's got a good laugh I was what I'm I got to think about every time when I play my first roller hockey game I got to think about a celebration you do you think you'll score yeah you do I hope so I don't think you'll screw really not gonna score I'll never I mean no never never but game one oh yeah no if there's is it a skilled league because you have no skill and you're fat and now you have no stamina I'll take the under on 0.5 goals.

The whole season? Oh, me too. What? I'll take the over. I don't care if you start a franchise mode at this rolling. I don't know how, it doesn't matter how many seasons you play. You're not scoring a goal, my friend.

Dude, I can't, I don't picture any skill coming out of your body. Or poise. No poise. So that puck are gone. Oh, man. I'm going to be less. Touch it, kick it. You're not going to score.

I don't know, like, I, I can do things. Play baseball. Play baseball. I can play the drums. I mean, I can swing a golf club. Somewhat athletic. You really like that. What's the fourth thing you can do?

The golf swing came out. You weren't very confident in that. No. You had three things. Baseball. Throw your word around now. It has no correlation. I guess.

Does hand-eye coordination? Yeah, yeah, you're right. You'd put your fist through a fucking kick drum. Fat-ass. Now I'm lashing out. Oh, we couldn't tell. corner and he is starting to throw it. Dude, I can't go any further back.

Listen, I got what I wanted. That's what I wanted. Let's talk about whatever you guys want to talk about. Mission accomplished. I think I'll score one goal. Yeah, I'm going to say no. All right. But I like the thought of, I'm a cherry picker.

I'm like, I'm like, can you can you? And you'll get a garbage goal. Yeah. I didn't think you could, I thought you were kind of. No. I can get around out there. He'll be able to score a garbage goal. It's a roller hockey league.

I don't need to be fucking. We got to all get on the. together. Even you guys. Even we got you goals when we played. But I'm going to say that I had more skill than he does. Christy Amaguchi? Christy Amaguchi. Yeah.

I'm going to say I've got 10 times the amount of skill that he. Yeah, but I would bet our leagues better. Yes, I agree with that. So therefore I think he's not. I like that you're thinking about your goal celebration already because that's putting you in the mindset to score a goal. Yes. We'll see what it is.

What's the leading? Do you have any plan? No, I have nothing. Literally nothing. I will say it's tough to like Sally in a roller hockey. a wreck roller hockey. That's exactly the way. Your team's getting ripped 7-1,

then Frankie goes and slaps his body against the boards when he scored. Or if you're winning 7-1s, he goes up. That's what you should do. I fucking love the easy button thing. It's good. Bring an easy button? Come on. If somebody,

pull it up from the bench and then you just cruise by and try not have to fall and hit it. Yeah. That was easy. We're just tape it to your stomach, pull up the shirt and just slap it. Both my tits. I didn't say it. No. Your face could be a button.

Oh. That was it. It's the dimples, too, that makes the moon face really come in. I think you just kind of start with it's everything. That picture isn't just one or two things. It's everything. Oh, frankly, I watch Molly's game. Oh, my God.

Yeah, let's talk about that. Very good. Incentive a woman. Very good film. Honestly, though. Well, it's one of those that makes you immediately go down the rabbit hole of, like, how true is this? And you start reading. Like, I didn't realize Tommy.

McGuire is just considered to be the biggest douchebag of all this. Yeah. Like a horrible guy. Dude, this movie's about Toby McGuire and his like addictive, it's about his addictive, like, um, poker habits and he would like run these crazy rings and like these basement fucking poker games for millions of dollars and the way that he constructed them and like the things that he would do. And like the way he talked to this like girl that ran the whole thing.

It was insane. At one point. Yeah. At one point his line is he's like, actually I don't even like poker. like, why do you play? He's like, I play to destroy other people's lives. Yeah. Like, he'll just keep going all in, knowing that they can't afford it.

Like, stuff like that. That makes me feel good because he was by far the worst Spider-Man. Those movies fucking sucked. It's really good, though. Do you see it? Molly's game? Yeah. No.

And Molly runs these games, and she, I mean, we're giving it away now. This guy's supposed to watch this. I will say, saying that Molly runs these games and the movie that's called Molly's game. Well, I was about to go on. Like, it's like, she had all these names. and like she got caught she got caught now he destroys it

so it's like no no no but then he explains the thing that we didn't want to know I should watch it it's on Netflix okay oh it's on Netflix

yeah I'll watch that yeah me too it's like a six hour flight back home you can fucking watch it right I watch the comeback

with Ben Affleck on the way out and then oh that new basketball movie yeah not great way back

and then I put myself through 12 years of slave that was I cried on the airport. That's a tough watch. I mean, and you have to look away a bunch of times. It's awful. Totally. That's an emotional.

And I think they say you cry more when you're on an airplane. Why is that? Five times during crazy rich age. I think I based it on that. Yeah. No, it's true. It's true. The altitude like fucks with your ducks and all that. I cried during Coco on a plane.

I believe that because I cry quite a bit on airplanes. I was a mess on this fucking plane. It feels like a perfect segue into Frankie's trip out here. Oh, man. I have fucking cried today. I should have fucking cried today. I mean, the balls on this chick on this fucking, on this fucking airplane today, honestly, never in my life have ever seen a move like this. And, like, I'm going to start this off by saying, I love dogs. I love dogs. I have a dog.

I love petting dogs. I love when my friends have dogs. I love puppies, the whole thing. I'm sitting on this fucking pack plane. Coronavirus, it's a pandemic. Ever heard of it? You know, you don't really want a pack pack plane. Like, so I'm flying United, which does it the worst.

They're the wot. their sponsor anywhere of bars i don't think they are because we usually shit on them but they are the woe fucking plane company they just packed they packed us in like fucking like a hen house it was crazy never seen anything like it just more seats they added more seats somehow since this pandemic started and i'm sitting i i upgraded right so barstool will usually get us our flights and then they give you the option like oh this is like my personal car so like if i have to spend another 150 bucks like i'm going to do that like because i'm not paying for the flight let me like do like do that on my own card. I got extra room, leg room. I had an aisle seat. They had me booked in the

middle seat in the last row of the whole entire flight out to California. I said, no fucking chance. So I put in my car, $150. I'm sitting on a, on a fucking aisle seat. No one's next to me. I'm like, I'm living right now. Living. I can move all the way back, the whole thing. I see this lady coming on with this huge fucking dog. I'm talking a shaggy dog. I don't even know. What's the, what was the, what was the type of dog? Yeah, it was kind of like, no, I don't know. I couldn't get a really good look at it. It was like a dude. It was some sort of doodle. Labradoodle, golden doodle. It was a golden doodle. Okay. All right. And with a big face. He looks like a human. I love that dog. It's a cute dog.

Similar to you. Yeah. Shout out of Scotty Mayfield has a couple doodles. He has a doodle. So, and I love it. Whatever. It comes right next to me in the middle seat. And I'm like, there's no, I looked at the guy who's sitting on the window. I said, there's no fucking way that this big dog is about to sit with this fucking woman right next to us on this. middle seat. To me, to be able to book a middle seat with your dog, I know you got to get places. I know, and I don't know if it was a service dog. I don't know what was happening, but there was no sort of signage on it. I just think that in this world, you need to clear it with the person that's sitting next to you because the dog was just under my feet. And this is a six hour flight. Like the dog was, do you know that feeling of being like,

oh my God, this whole flight, this dog is just going to be, I was like this. I was sitting with my feet up on the chair like this because the dog was. was just laying across and she was saying nothing. Just letting the dog. I'm like, this is your, I was about to say, is this your point?

You gotta say, excuse me, miss, like, is this your plane? When did you buy it? Like, is like,

thank you so much. You can start on with something a little bit more mild than that. No, but me, the pussy and like tried to be like nice about it. I just like didn't say anything. So I'm sitting there. And she knows she has me wrapped around her fucking finger like a loose piece of

bacon. She's just fucking looking at me. She's, she knows what she knows what she knows what's about to happen. She goes, you wouldn't mind she actually says you wouldn't mind that's how she starts this you wouldn't mind getting up and switching with my boyfriend right he's just up there um so he could sit next to the dog and i was like what i was about to say well you've given me no other choice everything you've done today has given me

no other choice but to say of course because um it seems like a way better option okay he's sitting he's sitting behind me back to where i fucking back to where i just upgraded from and he's in a middle seat Oh, no. So. Oh, no. You didn't say yes. Yeah, I got up and I fucking. Yeah, I got up.

I said, yeah, no problem. I just fucking got up. I mean, I'm not in the middle. I'm surprised she doesn't have a leash on your neckro. 150 bucks. 150 bucks. It went back to the seat that I fucking move from. And she fucking, and she just, that money's just gone.

It's, it was just given to the United States. No, it's not gone. You gave it to her boyfriend. So then, so, so I'm, she, the way she worded. it. She never said where his seat was. She's like, could you switch? You'll switch with him, right? And I was like, there's a good sell by her. No problem. I'm like, where's he at? She's like, he's all the way back there.

Ro 36. 3.1B. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? And as we're, as I'm walking by this guy, I'm looking at him like, you mother fucker. You motherfucker. I wish bad things about them. I did. I, like, mentally. I mean, you got to stand up for yourself. Instead of just, I was texting.

I was dying inside. They're like, you have to say no. But like, you can't. I'm not in the middle. I'm not in the mood for a confrontation. No, but imagine saying no to her. Dude, the dog is laying under my feet. I'd rather. You're trying to make me think the dog was a plan to make it happen.

It 100% was a plan. The whole thing was a plan for them to get up. You got swindled out of everything. He got re-upgraded to a nice fucking $150 aisle seat. So that his dog, like, dude, if you know your dog's going to take up that much room, go buy two first class tickets right next to each other or take another flight in which there's no one sitting next to you. The balls and the gall. on this lady to be able, like, you know you're affecting people to your right and your left by taking.

And I know you got to get places like babies. I don't get frustrated with that stuff because I know it's hard to fucking take a baby from New York to L.A. Right. They don't want that baby to be crying. Like, I'm sorry. Nobody does. But the dog is like, the dog is bigger than a baby.

It's like if the baby was just a six foot long baby just crawling around, that would be a problem. That would be a problem. That would be a fucking issue. If you could go back through the situation that you just. were through. Would you be more proactive? Would you say, like, excuse me, do you have a plan for this dog for the next six hours? Yes, I wish I had balls to be like, before I get up and you sit here, what's going to happen with that thing?

Yeah. Like, am I going to pet it for six hours? Like, what's happening? I'm with you, though. I would have done the same thing. You have to get up. Like, imagine. Well, yeah, you're that far into it. Imagine me being like, you know what?

No. Move the dog. Like, being a dick, like, no chance. I fucking didn't say a word. No, there's no option. Because what are you going to say, like, can you actually switch with somebody back there? because I don't want to lose my kids. How awkward would it be the rest of the flight, too,

if you were like, no? And then you're just sitting next to her and reach your whole life? I think a lot of people would say no, honestly. No. It was that bad at that point. When they saw with that flight, knowing that I just spent money to upgrade and I was now going backwards in the flight to go to a middle seat,

I think a lot of people would have been like, fuck this. I think 50% of this podcast says no. I think lurch and rigs would have, they would stand up for it. No. I would try to be more proactive earlier. Like what are we doing? What are we about to do here?

Yeah. But if you're, already in the situation where like the dogs everywhere, Frankie's doing his little body thing and bringing his feet up like a little child. Dude, my feet were my right. But like if you're that far into it, then you got no shot when she's like, can you move

back and you're like, sure. Also, was the middle seat, Sands dog better than your situation with the dog? Good question. Oh, yeah, I'm struggling with the Sands thing. So that's without. Sorry.

I switched language. Yeah, that was tough. So, well, we're kind of close to that. You just stopped. I didn't know that was going to floor you. It was a very common word to use. It was more, because Sands is in math. Sands.

No. Some on the calculator. Sands, yeah. No, it is. No, you're right. It is a command, but I was using it as the space for without. So, I didn't know. Then Sands on the calculator means to, like, delete something?

I don't know. I don't know what he means, though. Whatever. This isn't calculus. Honestly, to me, like, yeah, like, not having a dog below me was a lot better. than like because I like you I fell asleep at one point. What if I just stepped on the dog? I didn't want to deal with that anxiety.

So I was just like, whatever. Let me get away from this fucking thing. But now moving to another area where like the Corona thing and your head, my head was spinning. Because now I'm like this dude who's like a hipster, like who knows what the fuck this guy? This guy looked like he came right out of the ocean. He looked like he was found from fucking passed away. Now I got to re-sanitize his fucking, I'm just saying I got to re-stantize his.

What? Nothing. I was just saying part of Charles Manson crew. It was crazy. Yeah. I'm like, now I've got to re-sananitize his, his fucking area. He was just sitting in it. His juices, the whole thing.

Everything was there. Like, we were a couple minutes into the boarding process. We were all sitting down, whatever, man. Seap belt buckled? She was buckled when she asked me. Man, you were pretty deep into this thing. I was really deep. And then the whole flame was just angry, you know?

Just a mad person, like thinking about the money. You were that little uncooked bacon strip. She just had you. She owned you. Like, at the end, too. You got owned by 11C. And she made a comment, like, if we were, She actually had the balls to say, if we were allowed to drink on this flight, I'd buy you one.

I was like, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. And you fucking dog. I wanted to say that so bad. Because honestly, like, you know, everyone deals with shit like this, but we all just don't say anything. We all just, like... Should have taken off your shoes. God.

You can get bullied around and fucking... If someone... If someone has the confidence of this woman, you can do anything you want in the world. No shame. She has no shame. She got on that flight, and she was... going to have her way and I fucking succumbed to it and I sat in the back of the plane no matter how much money I spent the fucking upgrade I sat there in that middle seat and she

liked it and I fucking had to accept it that's my night you know what you really could have used in that situation what a taser strike light oh man I wish I would have taser my own fucking neck knocked yourself out yeah just knock myself out taser wow tell me about taser though well it's presented by taser by axon well it is axon actually and Taser, they're a great company. Taser, which I'm sure you folks have heard about. The strike light, it's rechargeable, high-powered flashlight that can repel

an attacker through its electric stun feature. You go to Taser.com, use the promo code Barstool. You get 15% off. Now, you sell these things? I don't sell these things directly, but I'm part of it. So I'm 100% behind this podcast and the strikelights.

Also, if you listen to Dave Portnoy's show, he goes on and on about these guys, about Taser, because they do love Barstool over there. they're very much behind everything that we do. And one of the key points to this entire thing, the whole taser operation is that it says a limited number of states require a permit for use and taser products cannot be purchased for personal use in Hawaii or Rhode Island,

which, as Dave points out, is what you want. Because you want it right on that line. Like if this thing was just, oh, everybody that sees it, every state that sees it is like, oh, yeah, that little thing, that's silly, fine, no problem. But the fact that it's right on the border, The fact that you get a couple states that are like, you know what? I'm not like, this is, this thing actually can really repel people.

That's what you want. It's going to get it done. It's something that you can use to protect yourself. It's something that you can literally use. It says to repel an attacker. So, Lurch is attacking you. Boom. Have you been on a couple of meetings or video Zoom calls about this product?

So this is our consumer product. Okay. So there's like a consumer and then there's a law enforcement grade. And so I don't. don't really touch too much on the consumer. Our buddy, Josh, nicest guy in the world, heads up all kind of business operations sales. My boss's boss.

I don't get to talk to him too much. I get to talk to him in the golf world. Yeah. In the professional world, I just kind of get to nip for those heels. One of my favorite parts also about this whole thing is that when Dave finally, Dave Portnoy finally got his,

he just said, this thing is sick 15 times in a row. Oh, they're awesome. They're super cool products. They are very cool. Josh said that I'm going to get tased, and I sell obviously drones. And I said, no, no, no. You say that you only have to basically get tased if you sell those products.

So until there's a taser on a drone. I was just going to say, what do we got to hook one of these up to a drone, fly it at you, and tase your ass. So I'll be the first guy that goes down. Mark my words when that happens. You got to get tased. Can me or Frankie fly it? No. What?

Because you might, you might tase me in the net. Like, can't so. So, versus we're all willing to take that. No, we're not all willing to take that. You've got to test the product so before it goes out, right? Yeah, you got to know. Quality Patrol. What happens if a regular consumer gets tased in the head?

Huh? What happens if a regular consumer gets tased in the, we have to know? There's consumers, so the consumer brand is different than we're not, there will never be a drone with a strike light taser off. I feel like you use part of Sylvan. What do we got to do to tase today? That's what I want. Here, let me tell you.

Kill two birds and once on. Sorry to cut you off. Okay. John. Let's talk about it. content for this podcast and you get to test out of tazer. Now, this product specifically, it can fit like in a girl's pocketbook. Yes.

So that's the selling point. That's a sell. You're a girl. It's almost like nays, but tase. So if that lady today on that plane did you find such a little bitch boy sitting next there, she would have just tased me and sent me to the back then. If she didn't realize that she was sitting next to a frail piece of old meat, that she made, if she said, oh, this guy's had made a problem,

she could have whipped it out of her fucking purse and just tased me. Wow. And you would be. dropping like a fly. You'd be down. Right. These things, you'd be dropped.

You'd be down. You'd be You'd regroup in the near future. Right. In that moment, you would be incapacity. Ebony Taze Smitty in our office. That's right. And yeah, right in the neck.

He went down. He went down like a fucking sack of potato. From a strikelight? Yeah. Well, it was another iteration of a Taser. I don't know if this is this exact one, but it's the result's going to be pretty similar. Have you seen how sleek and cool they are though?

They're awesome. Yes. Yes. They're incredible. Taser.com. promo code Barstle gets you 15% off. These things honestly are awesome. They're incredible.

Like when you pop this thing open, you won't believe how cool. And like Dave said, he's like, if I got this as a gift, Dave's like, I'm worth $100, $200 million. Like, I don't really care. Nobody can get me any gifts. He goes, if I open this thing as a gift, I would be, this is awesome. You're intrigued right away. Yeah. You're like, what the hell is this thing?

New, different. Let's be safe with it. But they're neat. You got to think a lot of the people that are listening to the show they have, you know, it's not just for like men. I mean, like, I think it's great for, like, girls that are walking from dorm rooms and colleges. Like, they all bring mace with them. Like, this thing is, like, legitimately actually will help you.

Like, it actually will repel whatever problem that you're around. And it can be for men, too. Like, everyone can use it. But I just, I, this is a really, really good product. Like, I honestly, I do think that it should be in a lot more hands of Americans than it is right now. So how do we get this thing on a drone and fly it at Lurt? So what we can do? with array of different products, we'll put you, we'll give you some training.

So I'll put a virtual reality headset on you. Fine. Axon. Be trained in terms of your range of force when it's applicable. And then you will potentially taste me. I want to do it like the intro to a jackass episode. I just want to do it. Let's start with you then.

I'll train. I have a heart condition. I actually, I grew up with a heart condition. So did I. Everybody's got a fucking heart condition all of a sudden. SBT, boys. But if you guys are properly trained and the time is right and there's a taser on a drone, I'll let you tase me. You guys are a real futuristic company, eh?

It's incredible. You have drones and tasers and shit. Rick Smith. Wow. CEO. That's why you guys do your own Star Wars thing with you. Yeah, he's big on it. Yeah.

I like it. I'm going to tell you. If there's a company out there that's working with like law enforcement and drones and I want you guys to be all in on the futuristic shit, I want your favorite movie to be Star Wars. I want like, that's what you next on. You see an alien. came into our like I saw that It looked like a big cigar

That fucking ship Yeah I saw it Did you read about this? Yeah There's a Harvard There's a Harvard Good school

Very good school Yeah you heard of it And He claims that there was this thing That entered our orbit Millions and millions of light years away Whatever it was That just couldn't be

What the scientists Claimed it was Like this regular just comment He's like I've done I've crunched the numbers And it just just can't be. And he says something in his little, like, whatever. He has a book coming out,

which is like, all right, like, that's a little sketchy. Like, the guy finds aliens and he's got a bestselling book coming out the next week. Like, anyone can say you have a bad. We'll leave that part out. Whatever. Fucking, what he says is that if everyone just like accepts that it can't be aliens, you'll never find aliens, which was such a like, groundbreaking, like, aha moment to me. If you reject it before. So he's like, if you handed a caveman a cell phone. and the caveman was like, this is just a shiny, cool rock, they'll never ever evolve to the point of being able to know what a cell phone is. They just continuously say, no, this is just a rock.

Like, they keep saying it has to just be a comet. And he's like, but it just doesn't have to be. And he said he's like, we've seen like no, no, the dimensions of this, air quotes, like, comment are like none of the dimensions we've ever seen. So it was like one in like tech trillion would be the odds of a, that's a made-up number. What did you say? Tech trillion.

That was quadrillion. I thought of ten of them. Like tech trillion. Okay. And he's claiming that this thing and they watched it for 11 days and it was moving and then it fucking like zipped away. And they're like, oh, that's when gas, when it gets away from a sun. I remember this. The gas actually like shoots it away.

And he's like, but that would leave like a residue. And he's like, I've studied. I'm telling you this is a fucking alien. I remember this. Yeah. It's good to have. at least one guy thinking like that is the lesson. Totally.

Because you don't, otherwise, what you're saying is going to happen. It's going to be like, no, there's just a rock. And then they're going to show up one day and they'll be like, this place is ours. Right.

It was like, oh, shit. Yeah, because it opens your mind to it. If you're closed off, you'll never believe it. But I don't know, I don't know if this planet

necessarily suffers from being closed off to aliens. I think people are pretty jazzed up about the idea that aliens might come here. But I understand what he's saying. I'm convinced that there's people. I don't know if you're all. Oh, come on. I think when push comes to show, there's a massive, massive conversation to be had,

whereas, like, is it worth it for humanity to know that we're, like, that we have other people around it? Jazzed up, I guess, has the wrong connotation. People are definitely curious about the potential of aliens. Yes. I don't know. They're about, I mean, we've seen so many movies now. Super curious, but I just think that the odds are significantly not in our favor,

that if they're here, it's bad. Right, because we can't reach them, obviously. Fuck, no. If they're here. They found us when we haven't got there yet. And what are the chances they just want to be friends? Like, why the fuck would they come all the way here to be? an awesome awesome outcome they don't want to be friends with us no what are they just like these

fucking altruistic so no they're first figure out how to communicate with they come here they're here they're here for blood to put a little bow tie on this alien talk on on my flight out here i watched a little alien movie because i read that fucking that blog how long ago what how long you read the blog that was all that oh it's coming out because this guy's books coming out like tomorrow oh got you all over like cnn shit got you um then on united the worst fucking airline the world there was a there was a movie called like save yourselves and I thought it was a pretty cool idea. Basically, these two hipster couples, which is probably the people that fucking had.

There was like these two, this couple living in like Brooklyn or whatever. They, is that like a bad thing to say with hipster people? Is that like, no, it's not bad. It's just a type of, like, I think your tonality makes it back. Right. Because when you drop the effin in front of him, you know. Hipsters? Well, you're clearly upset about that type of person based on your experience.

I mean, I'm the one who called him a Charles Manson. Okay, good. You said he came out of the ocean. He did. I mean, he looked ridiculous. Yeah. Um, anyone see the new movie Soul? Yeah.

He looked like that dude's been in the fucking thing. Uh, moonwind. Moonwin. That's what this guy. That's my favorite guy in the movie. What a name. What did you consider that guy, uh, like a hipster? He, um, he's, uh, a psychedelic of nature.

All right. So anyway, um, this movie, this couple decides, oh, we're going to go offline. That's like something Lurch would say. Like, like, actually he fucking, like gets out of a fucking meeting or something. I'm going to go offline this weekend. I'll ping you. I'll ping you on Monday. You're back to you.

So they set up. their fucking voicemails. We're going offline. We're going to be back in a week. When they go offline, aliens come down, and they're in this fucking upstate little cabins called Save Yourselves. It's actually a pretty cute, like, funny movie. Low-budget, like, alien movie. But, like, the aliens are these little furry,

cute little things, and, like, people go up to them, and then they just fucking, like, take a little, they take a little tongue out and just shoot it right through their fucking foreheads, and they're killing people. It's crazy. The point is that you don't... So there's little furry critters. You just don't know what fucking aliens could be. Like, like, the rock thing. Like, if... A lot of

of people thought it was a little rat. This water bottle could be a satellite. You have no idea. And us thinking that that can't be an alien means we'll never find aliens. They also could just be microscopic. Correct. Why could they just be like in our bloodstream?

It could be like coronavirus. Fuck. I call coronavirus an alien. It looks like you see a little fucking thing. It literally is. It is a outside force that is invading human population and the body, the human is fighting it.

Like human bodies are fighting it. Viruses to me are like alien forms. I don't say they're from outer space, but, like, in its nature, it's like, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a, it's a thing that attacks us. You don't know what I'm saying? Why is so an enemy? Like, it's like, but it's living and breathing. It like, like, it has like a, like, it has different strains. Yeah.

I don't know what's breathing. No. But it's living. It's living. Which to me feels like somewhat of an alien. No? It's a living thing. Yeah, I think it's, I agree with you.

It's like, that's our version of aliens is viruses. No? I'm out on that. Really? I'm just going to say it's a virus. What I was going to say is that the thought process of looking at that water bottle and being like that could be an alien or an alien satellite, that's, you do that too much, you'll go crazy. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You don't get what I'm saying with the virus? I know what you're saying. It's something that's not us that attacks us. Like, all of humanity is fighting this, like, thing that's a living thing. I mean, is it not? But the difference. We're all, like, fighting this living thing. No, we are.

Entering our bodies. And we're like, oh. We're actually shutting down our whole world. Shutting down the world. To me, that feels like an alien attack. Like, we're all, like, New York City shut down because an outside living force is entering us. That's something that we don't, it's unknown. We don't know.

It's no different than us, like, uh, like, blowing up bridges so that the enemy can't get across to, like, our little bay that we're staying at. Yeah, no, we are, like, fighting it right now. Staying away for each other to try, yeah. It's the fight against COVID. Orge isn't sold. No, I'm, I'm, I'm, the word aliens throwing you off, but it, like, no, no, no, And its nature, it's somewhat of the same thing. It's an attack from a living thing.

Yes. And in one sense, yeah, like the whole world is trying to figure this thing out, which makes it more like... Armageddon. Yes. Even though that was a comet. Right. But like attack from something that we're all united against crime bars.

I could have picked any fucking alien movie there. Yeah. But I gave a yes because I knew where you're trying to get that. Any alien movie in the world. Alien, the movie alien. Yeah, literally a movie alien. Fuck. Signs.

Oh, that one fucked me up when I was young. Science is incredible. Walking across the cornfield or one. No, no, no, no. The buildings. Were you just see him for that second?

Yes. Isn't it like in between the doorways or something? Yes. I can't have a lot. And you're like, we're in it. I can't handle that. Quiet place,

that one fucks me up too. Yeah. That's John Cuisinski. The whole movie's in silence. War of the World is, you know. War the World was a good one. Tom Cruise.

That one was good until the end. Five place fucked you up. In sucked. I've never. But the world, the world is stuck up At one point you can see him literally Yanking the bodies up and then just Like gutting them for the blood

And it's like, oh my God, this turned into a horror Four of the Worlds actually works against your idea Where at the end, spoiler alert It's a pretty old movie That the things that kill the aliens at the end Are organisms that they were not prepared for Just like bacteria, right? Yeah, that's right

It's a kind of a lame ending You get these giant machines That have been underground for fucking centuries and then they just die from water. I give that movie kind of a C. The ending. Tom Cruise? It was tough.

War of the Worlds. Yeah, World of World. What do you give it? I'm going to give it a C. No, no, no. B. Going off the lights camera pod, like they go out of 100.

C and a B is a huge difference. I mean, but you're... Your response to it, Mary, at least today. I knew I was going to be disappointed. It's an 81 movie. You think so? B minus. B minus.

For low B minus. I really hated the ending. Really good, like for its time, I think it was just like a blockbuster movie. Like cool graphics. Like, I don't know, Tom Cruise is, Tom Cruise is, Tom Cruise is great.

Kills that dude in the basement. Anyway, yeah, he does. That's fucked up. Anyway, fucking quiet. Quietly still that adrid. Quiet, quiet noise when they make,

when they make noise, the alien comes and kills them. So the whole movie is in silence. And then, like, once someone, like, costs, alien fucking comes to their house. Like, it's crazy. They live in the post-apocalyptic world in which, like, the aliens only

know and feed off noise. They're blind. So they can hear. So, like, and then she has, like, a baby during it. So they have to try and keep, like, the whole thing like, underground with, like, suppress the noise. And they... So how does there any character, but so the whole thing... The whole movie's in fucking silent, man. It's crazy.

Starts you that way? Yeah. You are not a silent person. That's the hook. That's the hook. I watched on the movie theater. It fucks you up, man, Because, like, the silence is so loud at that point. Because you're watching a huge fucking movie screen. And it's just like, I mean, you hear, like, them walking and the wind and stuff. What do they put down to walk on?

They have paths. Yeah, it's a nice thick rugs. Sand or sawdust? Yeah. What was the Netflix movie there that went crazy? That was a bird box. Bird box. I didn't watch that shit.

This reminds me of that. Fuck that. Just when they had to be, like, they had to go silent. It was, it was vision. Yeah, you're right. They would open you. They would make you open your eyes. That's right.

And if you saw them, you'd die. You'd kill yourself. That's a golf podcast. You're right. Sorry. Yeah. I,

you know, now we're talking. Birdbox is actually pretty good. I just haven't seen Birdbox, right? No. Wow. Do we just go on this rank?

Is my virtual background? Kind of. I probably, man. I started watching a series away on Netflix. Oh, yeah. It's about like going to Mars?

Nope. Didn't see it. You were so confident. I'm thinking about a, a movie maybe a way where she thinks she's with her husband but her husband's actually dead

as like a daydream. Is that a scent of a woman? No. Send a woman. Every once in a while I'll get a DM from somebody and they'll just rant and rave about it. They say, Lord, you're the man.

This is the best movie in the world. Biggest recommendation I've gotten, I've been given a lot of people recommendations. Biggest one I've gotten to myself that I've yet to watch just as stubbornly as you, Trent, is Yellowstone. I haven't started it yet, and I've heard it is, people have compared it to being better than Game of Thrones.

Like, just like enjoyment-wise. I watch the first season that. It's good. It's Kevin Costner. Yeah, like out on the range. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty good. Is it fair to say that it's like a sopranoes of like cowboys?

Yeah, he's like, he's like the, what do you call the head of a family? My boss? No, no, no, like the word. Godfather? Chief. Is it patriarch? You're thinking of an Indian tribe. Is that what it is?

Yeah. Yeah, sorry. But yeah, he's like, yeah, he's the boss. He's got all these kids. We're trying to figure out what's going to happen if he ever goes. Yeah, yeah, it's the whole thing. Okay. Yeah.

I would recommend that. Let me start it. Lord, did you shot 71 today? What a topic change. Dude, I sat down and I was like, that feels like a week ago. That was today? That was this morning. That was this morning.

Kessler, Patrick reads Caddy. Kessler text me and he goes, did I see Lurge shot 70? one a couple days ago. I was like, yeah. And then I started thinking, I was like, that was today. That was this morning. I was, my, it was one of those days. Where did you play?

Couldn't miss. This plays Ria Marr down of Vero Beach. I mean, not like, waters, a little water. It was crazy windy, but I was just ripping irons at sticks. How long was it? It's probably 65. Pretty good.

Par 70? Par 70? You shots every one. Yeah. I mean, I had, I think I hit 14 at 18. Green. How many puts did you at? Every time I looked at you were talking about a three putt.

It was bad. I... He shot 701. Let's see. What did I do? Did I think that one close from a par three? Yep. And I was like, well, he's going to make that for Bernie.

I think that would maybe 15. Yep, that was a killer. Yeah. Dude, because that was the worst part. So on 14, I just bury, like, I kind of skull a chip, give myself 12 feet to say par, make par. I've got a par five coming up. I'm like, let's go.

We're going to make some hay on this thing. rip a drive out there, just kiss a four iron over a tree to the back of the green. It was like 220 out. I had 20 feet for Eagle, three whack. And I'm like horrible. Let me ask you this. Then the next hole, I stuff it to two feet. I lipped out.

That was the one I was like, well, he's going to be three years. Yeah. I wanted to cry. Couldn't miss today. Dude, my irons were just on the green again. Like first hole, 14 feet, second hole, three feet. No, my mom and her fiancee. Dave and they were like kind of aloof.

They're like so into their own game of what they're doing. They had no idea. A loop. This guy's shooting fucking 71. Right. They like didn't know. Like I made three birdies on the front. They like didn't even.

Well, yeah. You did a lot of photos. Yeah. And then like talking about it. Did you at any point consider filming any year shots? Well, so I wasn't going to make my mom film. She's like, you know. I know.

I know. But like you can bring a water bottle out there. Right. So I actually ordered one of those. Next time you're acting like that comes around every one. I'm saying you're acting like that comes around every. No, I know. I will say.

So I made a fundamental scoring change today this morning for the first time ever. I go, I'm not going to do the game of fives. All I'm going to do is just keep my mind of how many to par I am through the round. Obviously, I played really well, but I was like, that's the only way I'm going to do. You still do the game of fives? Yes. That's crazy. So I'm off that.

You always break 90. Why are you playing the game of five? You should be on the game of fours. Yeah. It's like the dumbest thing out. Right. So now I'm on the game of fourth. I made the change today.

That's a big move. I was lights out. What's your career low? Even par 73. So that's just, you sound stupid, honestly. This was a debate on the text. Well, all right. Oh, yeah, we have to talk about this now.

So without question, a 73 is more impressive. But that's not the answer. When it's par of 73 course. So what's your law? Even par. Even par is my low. But nobody says that. Nobody ever.

Like if somebody, if Tiger Woods is 10 under and the par is 72 on a golf course, and they would be like, oh, if Tiger makes Bernie on last one, he could tie his career low of 60. They wouldn't say his career to par low. Nobody never said that. This was my huge debate with my buddy Andrew at Cherry Valley where we fucking cursed each other out. And he basically didn't play with me for the rest of the day because we were playing when they were under construction. And one of the holes went from a par four to a par three.

And he said to leave it as the card and hit the second shot from where the T-box was. But I said it plays as a par three that day. I'm not just adding a stroke onto my score. But he's like, oh, but like it's relative to par. So like it doesn't matter. I'm like, yes, it does. If I shoot a 79 today and that was plus seven or I shoot plus seven on your scorecard, that's an 80. That's a huge difference.

You know what I mean? Yes. But that's like no one cared about what it was. Was it par 72 or 73 that day? No one cares. It's just what did you shoot? Oh, I shot 79. Right.

Right. But I remember that conversation because then it screws up your handicap. If you were to enter that 79 or 80. Right. That's another debate. Yes. So my low is shooting even par. My career low numbers-wise is 71.

So now the other question is, like, do you have to talk about slope and rating when you talk about this? No, that's, now you're getting. I don't think you are. But why? What's the difference? No, like, that would help your argument because, like, what if you shoot a 65 on an executive course? Is that your career low? Like, it shouldn't be.

No. Even though that goes against my argument, like, if you say I play this executive course, I shot a 62 today, it's like, well, like, like, like what was a slope like what was the rating like is that just a joke of a golf course like there's an agreed upon minimum right a championship course and so that's why I asked like how long was it

6,500 yards windy so it wasn't like it was a joke but the reason this spawn is because you know earlier I said I was like Lord you won't over today what was that like a 73 you're like no 71 I was like oh my god career low and you go no actually I'm like I consider my career low 73 at what mammoth dunes yes and

like so it's an interesting It's not, I get where you're coming from. Yeah. But I don't think like it's too, it gets too, like, petty almost to be like, well, no, it's just like that's your lowest. When you said, no, when you said in tournament play. There's got to be so few people in this world that are in my circumstance. No, it's not. I don't think so.

They've shot a 73 even par and they've shot a 71. It could be anything. It could be anything. You could have shot one over. No, I'm saying. Like, like my career low could be a 76, but it was on a par 72. Like, I could be plus four. It could be any number.

It could be any number. Right. Like somebody just happened to be even more. Right. Now you've got now that point actually just made a lot of sense to me for whatever reason because I was thinking like between the 70 and 72 kind of. And since I'm within that range. But I totally agree with you. If I played a par 70 and I played par 72 and I shot a 76 and a 77, let's say.

No, the good argument is to say, did you break 80 that day? Right. And like what's your career low? And finally it's like I shot a. 79 it's like well it was a par 73 yes and the other day it was a par 72 no it was a par 72 and the other day was a part 72 and the other day was a part 73 I'm

fucking myself up no no I was on a roll I'm with you I'm actually kind of all now on your side of my career low is a 71 the only thing that's going to foul me up though is like did they shoot oh nice you shoot even or you break part of that day no I actually shot one over yeah but I did

shoot 73 at another place and shot even part right like I don't even want that I'll be part of the conversation Even is more impressive. For sure. Like, literally. It's without question more impressive. Like the course said that both courses said what would be impressive and one of the courses you did the impressive thing and the other you didn't.

It is tough to make that statement without context though. Because like when we played kids in the four man scramble, he shot 70 at Piner's number two from 7,600 yards. That was like even par because they raised it because that. But like that's more impressive than a 68 at all. a lot of courses he would shoot on the PGA tour, that would be a four under. So it's like, so that's not really this, right?

Like that to par thing is not really, like his numbers, your number. So it's very, right. There's a peculiar thing. It's tricky. Now,

I will say that like this year, I had like my, my low for the year, my mind was a 74 at Pine Canyon. We played it from like 68, 669 hundred yards. And it was up in the Flagstaff, so it plays shorter than that.

But like, whereas I actually had a 73 at Paines Valley, but it was, we played it on a, group with a bunch of buddies that we had guys that were like 15, 20 80 cats. We played it from the white that were like 6,100 yards. So I'm not like, no, like 73 wasn't my low. It was like, it was like, it was 6,100 yards.

It was just too short. To be like up there wasn't like my most impressive round of. So that goes to his point. Right. Yeah. So I get it. It is almost the letdown too because if someone's like, oh, what's your low? 71.

Oh, nice. You shoot one under? Because like the natural thing is par 72. One over. No, one over. It's like, oh. That question's so like. But that's where the conversation is.

Some people may ask that, but like the general public, like... So let's play it out, then. I say, like, what's your low? And I say 71. No, like, does the conversation just end? Can I have an accent? Yeah. Sure.

Vodka. Oh, my low is up. My law. Vodka. Vodka. He's got to get the right. Alexander of Vetchkin, vodka. But anyway, it's true.

What is your law? 71. Oh. You're a real conversation last there, huh? I'm rushing. I don't know how. Did they really talk that much? But anyways, I don't like.

What a conversation that was. Yeah, it was horrible. Now I'm really on the fence of like what I, we okay. I might not be on this podcast because my mic has been probably off the entire time. We're having Jake Bass is now fixing Trent Daddy's microphone. I'm going to settle on it. Career lows is 71. Just going with that.

Yeah, it's got to be. Career lows of 71. Windy and Florida. You're just going to find yourselves on a part 73, 72, 71, 70, and you're always going to be doing this math. Like, whatever the fuck you shot that day, as long as it's a respectable golf course. Like, I know everyone's going to say, I got a fucking hole in one at the cradle. And now I'm, like, throwing sand in my face again, like I usually do. Yeah.

But is that a mile yourself then. Is that a saying? I don't know, but you, this is the thing that you got to do when you do that? Should I roll with it? Yes. Because you said it with such confidence that I started thinking, my head, like, is that a common thing that people say? What do you say? I'm throwing.

sand in my face I like it I went with it I like it I'm throwing I'm fucking over here I'm fucking over here throw a sand

of my face That is a It's not It's not pleasurable To do that to yourself So You're on to something No that was

It's just a never-ending cycle You're always gonna find yourself in Is always comparing it to par What was it? I mean Listen Even par Most guys have tried

Different ways to last longer But throw in sand in your face doesn't always work. Folks at Roman and online mental company what a sound break you just brain are changing the game

such a random thing why I was sand in my phone I'm making these arguments against myself I'm throwing sand right in my face doing this

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Get your first month of swipes for just $5 when you choose a monthly plan. That's get Roman.com slash four. What's this little nine hole golf course? Is it a par three? The Bad Little Nine at Scottsdale National. Everybody raves about it. I'm looking at pictures of it right now on Twitter. It's crazy town.

It's super private. I think it's really hard to get on. Like there's, it looks like, I thought it was a PGA tour golf course where it's a minute. One of the greens is as long as the pin, basically. As long as the whole you mean? As long as the green.

It's only nine feet long. I mean, look at that thing. Like, look at the pin. The pin is not nine feet. But you know what I mean? Like if you lay that pin that's basically the width of that fucking little tiny is a pin six feet?

I thought so. No, no, it's gonna be higher, right? When you walk up to a pin, it's above your, it's above. It's a little higher. My point being, look how tiny that little green is. Yeah, it's a little nugget. Dude, that, I've heard it's really, really, really good. Look at this place.

What's the name of this place? Bad Little Nine. That's Goddell National. Yeah, it is. We've got to be going, though. People rave about Scottsin National. I'm talking about Roman. You know what I mean?

It fits right in. Bad little nine. Seven feet? Yeah, you definitely always love. look up to a flag. How about when you get those giant flags? You think all flags are standard size? No.

No. I know the ones like on Piner's number four. They're short. Those little wooden ones? Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's the first one that I thought of. Lurch, congratulations on a great round. Thank you.

I just feel about your game right now. You're doing a range. Did you put all the balls in? Yeah, everything. Because as soon as you're dash two through three, I was like, all right, everything's got to go down. Talk to us about that eagle that you made from that bunker. Didn't you hole out?

No, no, no. So that was, I actually saw I made birdie on two. I hit like a little wedge to like two feet. Then the third hole, you can kind of rip it up the right hand side, and it's only like 300 yard par four. I hit the trees on the right. Punched a seven, over-cooked it, went to a sand trap. I was like, now I'm making a mess of this hole.

And it was 86 yards? 83. 83 yards from a bunker you hold out? Hold out. Did you see it go in? Yes. So I was like, oh, my God. So it kind of skipped right before it went past it and then came back.

And I saw it go in and I was like, oh, my God, oh, my God, that just went in. And my mom was like, did that just go in? And it was, you know, kind of a fun upro. Kind of weird. Are they good players that you played with? Yeah, my mom and Dave both hit it pretty good. I was going to say it because usually like when you play with, like, because you're saying they're worried about their own ball and stuff, usually that's hard to keep a rhythm.

Like if you're playing with a bunch of really good players, usually you're playing. play up to that level it's it's yeah it's kind of yeah I hear you but like we also all hit at different distances so everybody's kind of like doing their own thing until you get to yeah I think it's harder to keep like a like a yeah yeah yeah when you're not playing like competitively you're only playing your own ball right it's easy to like lose focus and you know like when I used to play by myself I used to go out there at Eisenhower like sit in a cart and I'd be like man like I need someone out here to play with me like just to get me going like I can't fucking play by myself you play with yourself you play with yourself all quarantined.

It does get, you lose a little, uh, 100% jam. 100%. I, uh, do, I was just like, and then I, so I'm dashed two through three, fourth pole. Dash, that's a real cool golf guy thing to say. That was big, uh, with all the golf guys, uh, in college, they all said that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, he's like dashed. You know, they would always say that. Yeah. That's cool. Like certain hockey language, like if you're in the community, you can say. Okay. You think I am?

Yeah. You're in the golf community. After a fucking career love seven. one today you are. You can say dash. You have to be able to shoot. You have to be dash maybe after five holes to be able to say dash. Okay.

I've written dashed on Instagram before and people get mad about it. Yeah, no, I'm with you. Like, there's got to be like a threshold that you have to like, you have to be dash through five, I think. You can't make a birdie on one and be like, I'm dash one. You got to be like, all right, I'm dash. I'm dash one through six. That's a good player. Like, I'm not throwing dash right.

No. I've definitely said I'm dash one through one. Yeah, I say dash. dash it up but anyways yeah I just couldn't like missed a bunch of puts fourth hole I was probably

par five 10 yards off the front of the green chipped one up I had probably a 10 footer for birdie and blew that by six feet and missed that comeback or made bogey

like I just like you could have been how many three jacks you think yeah five oh my goodness whoa now just dude I hit the ball like I was just just hitting it sticks. Like, you know, the next part three,

I hit it to that's five footer probably that I made. And then, like, I was just, it was, the ball just kept going right at stick. So I got my game, and it's in good order right now, I would say. Like, I have a, except my putty. And I, that's not part of the range. And now I'm a range guy. So being down in Florida,

should be part of the range. It should be. But it's not part of the range that I go to. I don't really have a ton of fun putting. So, mom and her fiance joined a place down in Florida. They're doing the whole Florida golf community thing.

It's fantastic. They have a golf cart. They have a golf cart. And so you can take the golf cart from their house to the range. That's the dream, man. So after work at like 5 or 5.30, I would just rip over there,

have a drink, put on the music. Nobody is out there at all. I have the whole place to myself. And I became... Balls already on the range? Ball's already on the range. Pyramid? No, they're in like a nice wooden bucket.

Grass range. Grass range. And so I'm seeing the sunset. It's right near the ocean. I mean, you can't tell me this is a bad thing. Come on. So I'm a forever range guy when I'm down in Florida. When I'm not there, I don't know if I'll be a range guy, but there I'm a range guy.

Range guy is working for you. It's awesome. I was even doing the wooden sticks down, like alignment sticks. I saw. Do you ever know what you're doing with those? No. Yeah. But I'm like, I'm out of here.

You watch like Justin Thomas do it. He has them on angles. Like, I would just, I don't know what that's about. Is it about the takeback or is it about the feet? I think it's one of them for the feet and one of them for the take back. I think it's a little bit of how you want to hit it, left, right, or center? So is the alignment stick aligning your take back or is it aligning your feet to the ball? Probably both, because there's two alignment sticks.

So you'll do one. Like if you're going to do a cut, you want to aim your feet where the ball is going to start, I think. And then you want to aim the clubhead of where you want the ball to finish. That's what I was working on. That's right. I did notice you put one up. You're like, I'm working on cuts. And then like that one that you put up with the cut, you just pushed right.

Right. And it wasn't cut at all. So pissed. Oh, I got mad. Because I can't hit the ball right. It wasn't a cut at all. You just. It was a push cut, I would say.

Sure. Yeah, but it's part of the process. But exactly. People expect like you're so proud of that. No, no, no, no. Because my pull, my left draw that I said was a pole hook. True. The only good ball that I hit was the straight one.

Right on a string. Right on a string. And so that. That's really all. I've been, yeah, I'm hitting balls on a string. You're also shot 71. Like those people can just, like, suck it. I agree with you.

Yeah. They can just suck it. Actually, I take back never going to the range if I said that. Maybe I said I don't go there often. What I did was the Tiger T game where you put two T's and try to put through the T's when they're up. That's impossible. That's so hard. So hard.

See, like all that. Yeah. That's just, like, tiger is just like an unnatural human being. but like that's so unnatural to the game of golf that I wouldn't even want to practice that. Because like, why get used to putting through these two T's on a practice screen? When you go out there on the fucking golf course, this is not two T's. No, but the point is to, like, prove that you can hit it that pure. I guess so.

And then you, like, learn how to hit it that pure. Do you have your putter back and, like, almost sways back? And this is the most. I have a new putting. I have a new putting grip now, thanks to Joel. That's true. You do. Are you doing the, that'll come out tomorrow.

I will do that. Ten finger grip? Yeah, I will do the ten finger. I'm happy to go more grip. On all puts or certain distances? Most, most puts. You were draining puts. On Thursday, this video is coming out, right?

Joel Damon. You will see how much better. I think we have footage of me on the practice range, just drilling puts. The first couple they showed me, he's like, I know. I was like, Joel, this is working. He goes, I know, I do it. He does it on tour.

He was doing it like day before we filmed that video. He was going to work. In the PGA tour in front of Steve Stricker, draining putts like that. Yeah, no, I'm going to do it until it just doesn't work anymore, which is probably like a month. Has anyone else been able to play golf? No. No. I assume.

I played a few rounds, yeah. How's your game? I couldn't tell if that was a death pan answer or not. I'd play all the fact. What I do, though, is I get in, like, nine holes a lot. And then after that, because I get out there late. Yeah. And then I can usually play six or seven holes at Greyhawk.

And then, you know, if I was. get out there at like 3.30 or 4, sun goes down like 515, 5.30. I play separate holes, then I catch up the groups. And then by that point, maybe I'll jump around and play four or five more holes. So I get in a lot of like nine hole rounds. And I will say usually for like 20 minutes before that, I'll go hit balls. In desert golf, you have to be able to drive the ball and play or you're just fucked. So what I really learned was like, you know, like Lurge, I used to be able to drive the ball pretty consistently.

My iron play was bad and my short game was good. Yes. And then in the last, like, year, I really, at Piner's, like, I had to learn how to hit my irons well because those greens are impossible to hold the greens. Right. So my iron play got way better, but my driving wasn't because in Piner's, you can drive it anywhere for the most part. And then I was just losing balls. Like, like, we got a ton of new golf balls last time we were all together, and I lost all of them in, like, a week. And I was like, this fucking sucks.

Like, if you just have a bad driving day in the desert, you're just dropping and you're out of every hole. Right. So I really have gotten my driver a lot better now. Okay. Um, it's difficult chipping out there, I feel like the grass. Because the desert, I feel like it's difficult to chip. So my short game kind of sucks right now, actually. Interesting.

Which is very frustrating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, driver. I mean, desert course, if you can't keep it on the map, it's worthless because you're never hitting off the grass. I want to go play in Scotland so bad. It's so fun.

It is so fun. It's so fun. We got to do a triple-boh. Pretty much. I'm good buddies with kind of the Royal Dornick team. I would love. love those guys. Dude, we go back, yeah, and we got a mutual love.

That's awesome. As you look at those scores, like, they run, I guess I've just been watching, like, old open championships on YouTube, and it just looks way, like, as opposed to, it's the opposite of Desert Call. Correct. You can hit it anywhere. You can hit it anywhere. Is it naive and dumb to say that, is naive the right word there?

Yeah. Is it naive and dumb to say, I haven't said anything after? Is it naive and dumb to say that it's easier? Yes, I would say that's. That's like me not. It's so weather-dependence. And so sometimes the courses can be easier if there was no weather. But as soon as the wind picks up.

Perfect day at, dude, the day I played the old course Sanders, it was a joke. There's nothing in your way of not getting the ball on the green. It was 64 degrees sunny and like maybe 10 to 15 mile an hour wind, which out there is nothing. And it was just easy. And the greens are ridiculous there, right? Greens are ridiculous. Yeah, to me like if I slap the ball around on the, on, and excluding wind, me just thinking about what the old course is, like just from watching TV and playing the video games, I think I'd be able to just slap the ball around and get it

somewhere near the hole within three or four strokes, regardless of how I'm striking the ball. When you play like a Pioneer's number two, you have to strike the golf ball perfectly because you have trees, you have fucking bunkers everywhere. But here's what you've got to realize is like at a course like the old course, Pioneer's number two is literally designed off of that, like with the same principles and it has these giant undulations and shit. And like even though you might technically be on the green, you'll be like 80 feet away. And like two putting from there, good luck. Like you could for it up right.

But I will say if there's not much wind, like if we can play wing foot or we can play Oakmont, we could play piner's number two with no wind and it's still extremely difficult. You play like the old course with no wind. It's just pretty fucking easy. Yeah. I would agree with that. I didn't even get to play it. I played the new course and there wasn't much wind when I played it.

It's going on over there at the new course. It's just kind of a letdown. You look at the old course. Well, it's all in the same. same property. There's, I think, five or six golf. New course also opened up in like 1905 or something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's old, for sure. Super new. It's like yesterday. I need to rebrand that. But it will blow your mind, like, when you get to the old course on the property. Like, it's just a pulse of days. Not as old course. Not as old.

Why don't you pitch that to the R&A? The other one, Jubilee is supposed to be really good. Did you play that one? No. I'm going to hear the R&A. RNA. I always think of. The only one that we could get out on was the new course of our time.

Okay. Um, it'll blow your mind because there's like, it's like a dog walking park some days. Like right on the first and 18 Fairway. Sunday. Yeah, Sunday. Sunday the course is a dog. And there's dogs walking. Like, could you imagine, you know, like Oakmont having a dog go across the property?

They're talking, they're taking shits on the fucking floor on the fairway. Yeah, on the floor. I don't know if a smirch the name of the IRA. Was that a bad thing or a good thing the IRA? Was the IRA? No. The IRA is the... Aren't they?

Wasn't that like the Irish Federation? Irish Republic I don't know what the A stands for it. The new course... An army. Were they the ones... Like, so did they try and overthrow

a government there? Is that... 1895, the new course opened. Okay. That's the same year Piner's was founded. I always... Whenever I think of like, Peaky Blinders or something,

like I always say that the IRA, like the Irish people, I don't know if it's... We're controlling the IRA right now. We don't know. Super neutral. I don't think we have to go. Mostly because we don't know.

I think we can drop that. Talk to me about the IRA. Jake's going to. In terms of Wikipedia fact. He's going to copy, pay something that's going to get us some trouble. I'm 50% Irish, I should know. At some point,

we've got to take a trip to the Skyland. Yes. And I think that will happen. We're doing a group trip to Scott. Yeah. I see those videos and I see those. And I was just like, that looks awesome. It's so cool.

Also the towns that you went through. So we drove one of my favorite towns in the world was this little town called Dunk Hill, I believe. In Scotland, it's on the way from the old course up to... What are you laughing at? Frankie's bad face? Anyways, from the old course...

It's an unbelievable video. It's like halfway. We stopped in there, this beautiful little bridge, this little community. It was gorgeous. The whole thing's awesome. That's what I like. That seems very... That seems very much my speed. We gotta go. Have to go. By the way, we need to talk, too, about...

So for the listeners out there, we are planning to do four, four-play travel basically series this year. We've got to decide where to go. One of the, the biggest no-brainer is Michigan. We're going to go to Michigan. Yes. None has ever played golf in Michigan, to my knowledge. Arcadia Bluffs is probably the number one recommended course that we get all the time. It's like, you know, Midwest, right in our fucking sweet spot.

We got a million stories out there. We get pictures from Michigan all the time. So we're going to go to Michigan. It's going to be one of them. Another one I really want to do is Washington State. Frankie and I, obviously, we went out there and played a few courses, but, like, Gamble Sands is supposed to be amazing. And that's David McLeodick Kid, who built Band of Dunes, the first course out there.

So I want to go through Washington State at some point. The other ones I got, I don't know. I don't know if we should do, like, Texas. I don't know if we should do Florida. Florida would be nice. Florida would be great. You do like stream song and a couple other other public tracks.

Because I do want to do like, I want to experience stuff that anyone that's listening can go play. So like the best courses in Florida I feel like are the private courses. But I think we could dig deep and find. So people could submit to us what a trip would look like

if we were going to do Texas or if we were going to do Florida in terms of like a travel trip that people could do. How about anything by like New Orleans? Like is there any golf down there I don't know. Because like Texas, yeah, I guess there's got to be some great golf.

Texas is huge. Texas is big. It's a really big state. You ever seen it? You also got to hit places that are like easily accessible to people. Washington was tough to get up to for a lot of the country, even though it's sick off. Yeah. That's a fucking way up there.

But if you live in the Pacific Northwest, you know, I mean like, true, true, true. It's going to be. But like California people think of many people living California. Are you thinking about places like near big airports or something? Yeah. Or just like. centrally located where everyone would have to travel to or like I don't know how explain it what I was thinking.

Trying to put together a buddy trip or something across the globe? No, I don't think that's what I was saying. Oh, okay. I'm just saying like that's, I was just thinking like we're picking like a top left part and in my brain. I'm picking like in the middles. Because so everyone can travel. Does that make any sense to it?

No. Oh, we can go to Iowa. We do need to do it. We do need to do a trip out there for sure. If it's, if it's three hours from the guys from California, three hours from the guys from New York, that's a fucking thing everyone can agree upon. It's an interesting, yeah, it's a good thing to think about. Yeah. TBC

Deer Run. Whoa. I drove by the real home of golf, St. Andrews a bunch of times when I was back in. We do have to go Iowa. You did. We had to Iowa is like one of the top ones we have to go to. Can you even do a fucking trip to Iowa? Yeah. I mean like a buddy's golf trip to Iowa. Where are you going to play?

We can make it happen. Let's do it. That would be awesome. Isn't there something in Iowa where like every town has to have like nine holes or something like that oh i don't know i don't know about that every district i don't know maybe it was uh i think there's something in iowa where golf was like mandated there's something about corn unless you want to do i thought you're going to say well there is good golf in iowa we could also just do like the anti travel series i would never say that about my own i'm just saying that's where not that's the vibe i'm getting from the room right now but you're

no i i meant that as a genuine question is it even feasible to do a I mean it's not it's not probably the hotbed of a North Carolina or a go and we uncover right or five I think that I think it should be part of it you do a bunch of courses people know and then you also do like one

super hidden gem right as hidden as a good or five sweet courses that are tough to find right we could do it who's going to find it better than us I don't know that's our job this is what we're on them we're on the mission to do it and by find it I mean we're just going to have other people send it to us right

We should go better out. I do agree Michigan's a lot. We got to go to Michigan. Michigan, we're doing. The Washington State stuff that you guys were playing on, that looks fucking awesome. Dude, it is fucking awesome. It looks incredible. Yeah.

It is fucking awesome. It's sick. It's crazy. Those trees out there are nuts. They are. You just never see more trees in your life. They're nuts. You guys have never been to cabin.

No. That's crazy. We have to do one there, too. I know we can't. We can't go out of the country. Oh, yeah. I don't know when that's going to go. Countries on what it feels like.

I never been to abandon either. Me either. There's a lot of places we can go. A lot of places. That's the beauty of this fucking thing. Yeah. What's, yeah, I think there's, we can do kind of like a road show in Iowa to Ohio. Like, there's some great golf in those.

In that, I don't think Iowa and Ohio is close to you think. Like an eight-hour drive? Nope. Yeah. It's an eight, maybe eight. I think it's a little more than. Is it? If it gets over 10, you start to get old dangerous.

The point is, you're building an eight-hour drive into our. I think it could be kind of fun. Get an RV. An hour or two. Well, why don't we do it for the travel series like the Heartland? Is that, yeah? I look to you blank.

Indianapolis. Yeah. Well, that's just because you know the Pan-Maharan national. They're supposed to be nine holes in the Indy 500 race track. There is. Let's hit that.

That'd be neat. We got a trip. We got a little trip coming up here on our. You better believe it. Maybe I want to race car. Did you be my co-pilot? I think we should hit the heartland before we hit any of these swanky places. Because I've shit on the heartland.

I'd like to go there. Problem is, if we want to get four of them filmed, we've got to do some in warm climates. Oh, yeah, that's fine. But I do think we should hit the heartland. Yeah, because you don't, then you don't have to do five in Iowa. You can do one in Iowa, two in Iowa. Thank God. All right.

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confidence that people were like it slipped me the first time but the second time which is very weird because L-I-D-O is like that's not how would that be a hard eye Lid. Lidocane? Yeah. That's how I was saying. Yeah. Apparently it's Lido cane.

Right. Interesting. Lidocane. Lidicane. Yeah, because Lido, Lido would be, like Lido Beach. I'm going to defer to T-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-A-N-E. Is that obvious? Wait, is what obvious?

If you came across, I was spelled L-I-D-O-C-A-N-E. What would your first sense? No, I would have said Lidocaine. Yeah. But the English language makes no sense. It is a dumb way. There's a lot. Wasn't that your major?

I was an English major. That was. That's why I deferred to you. I don't graduate. No, I know, but I mean. Where did the English language come from? Yeah. German.

Yeah? I don't know. Anglo-Saxon. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Things of that nature? There's another show where they come up, the dictionary. You've seen that?

You've seen that one? They come up with a dictionary. Yeah. The whole show, the whole show is about, like, the Oxford Dictionary, the Oxford Web, whatever dictionary. And how they set out on this task to literally create the dictionary. And how they did that was like they went over and they asked people they like crowd sourced in like the fucking 1800s or whatever it was. They literally crowd sourced across the earth.

Everyone to submit. Stop right now. Every word. Across the earth. Like yeah. They literally crowd sourced like as far as wide as they could. Everybody that spoke English like all the English speaking parts of the world and had them submit like literature and everything. and they combed through and came up with every word that they possibly could

that had ever been like spoken, written, whatever, and like the definition. The definition of me would be impossible. The whole thing seems impossible. Or are you sending. Well, no, like, Game of Thrones, you know, ferrets around. Game thrones. What about, no, like, my point being, like, it's easier. It's easier to just, like, just take data or data, or everyone to say it and fucking

put it into an Excel type sheet. And obviously they didn't have an Excel, but, like, just list that the, just list the words as opposed to if you give me some literature and I'm studying it and I'm writing each word that you wrote as a new word now with each word you write I have to come up with the definition and like an origin

multiple definitions for words an origin like where the fuck it came from like how did they if I submitted a piece of literature and I didn't give them any information that's exactly what they have to include when you submit it it has to have like origin and the definition and the definition okay good also the people submitting the literature have the definitions

of the words well they submit it with that And then this team that was at like Oxford, I didn't watch a whole show. I watched like two episodes. This team that's at like Oxford goes through and they had one guy, they hired this one guy to basically run the whole operation. And the team then goes through and they have to go through and like confirm it all. So they have to go find it in literature and then confirm that that's actually the definition. If they can't, then they like submit it back out as like an unconfirmed word.

This was the process. They had to do it for 10 and tens and thousands of words. But like think about where the dictionary came from. How did it get there? Right. They just did it. It's an amazing project. Isn't that fucking crazy?

And they're sitting at this dinner table and they're like, he's going through and telling them how, because they just hired him to do this, how he wants to do the process. And they're like, this isn't possible. Yeah. There's like, you can't. This thing you're describing. He's like, no, you're not going to do it, whatever. And they go to like all the bookstores and all the business.

And they put the signs out there. They're like, please submit here. We're trying to do this project that people actually bought into it. Wow. That's amazing. I don't know how true it is, but it's a Netflix show. Well, that kind of ruined it. The Professor and the Madman.

That's what it's called. Netflix? On Netflix. This should be an app. Netflix has got a lot of praise this show. I would be like Netflix is very common. People watch it. It's true.

Office gone. It's on that peacock bullshit that they put the golf on. Sorry, Peacock. I've got to watch that all the way. I've gotten a lot of... The office? Yeah. Only watch a couple episodes here and there.

That's a nightmare. I wouldn't be telling people of that. I go to... That's the only way I go to sleep is to watch the office. Oh, you said that before. A lot of people Tell me A lot of people telling me

Fat face A lot of people telling me To watch Yellowstone And I thought it was extremely cocky of them If you go on Amazon Prime to watch it They charge you 20 bucks a season To watch their show in Yellowstone If you don't have Peacock

I'm like, who the fuck does the Yellowstone think they are? But then like the argument's like Well like you pay like $700 for streaming services Or you go pay $20 for a movie Like why don't you go fucking just buy this season? on Amazon Prime. I thought that was a little cocky. I used to have to do that with like

on, was it iTunes? Where you could buy, I think that's how I watched Breaking Bad. Just buying seasons. I bought like season after season. You would just rip through them on like Christmas break or whatever. See you like I got mad at Yellowstone

because I thought that was the only way to consume it. But I didn't realize that it was just like you purchase it on Amazon because it plays on Paramount Network and Peacock. They're punishing you for not having. Like Game of Thrones, they'll charge you on Amazon. Apple, on Apple, whatever, that Apple website, that Apple site there.

All right, we got a lot more to get through, but we're not going to do it today because we've been talking for like two hours. Is that right, Jake? How long have we been going? Go for a little longer? No. It's late for these Coast people right now. It is.

It's 2.30 back home. You know what I actually lost. It has nothing to do. Yeah, it doesn't have anything to do for that. You're acting like we're talking live right now. Right. Well, I'm just, I'm providing. context do you say this is late for you you know what your face looks like your face looks like a perfectly round golf ball okay

I had to take the picture off my computer because it was my point you're like it's getting late for the for the no I'm not the people of these people in the room I'm sorry yeah that would have been stupid if you but you didn't you weren't saying that I know you weren't saying that it's almost stupid for Frankie to think of it in that context it's insulting to Trent's intelligence that you would think he meant it that way What a dumb dumb. What a fat dumb dumb dumb. We're going to have to wail you out of your room. Takes one to no one. Ooh. So. Lash outs.

You know you win when he lashes out. We have a lot of fun. We'll call it fun, 20-21 stuff to get to. We're going to roll through some questions, some predictions, whatever the fuck you want to call him, for this upcoming golf season.

So I'm going to tease Thursday and say that if you just look at the schedule, this is actually about a pact of a golf. season you could possibly have. Players championship in March, Masters in April, PGA Championship at Kiowa Island in May, U.S. Open at Torrey Pines in June, British Open at Royal St. George's in July. Then you have the Olympics in Japan

at the end of July, early August. Then you have the FedEx Cup playoffs in August. In the very next month in September, you have the Ryder Cup at Whistling Straits. So it's just going to be pretty much from March all the way through September. There's going to be a massive event every month with the pandemic.

Who the fuck knows if there's going to be any cancellations delays are there going to be fans waste managers thinking about having fans what the fuck are you doing he looks fat from that did you just try to oh god dude but that's see like that is that's that's the optics that photo like that photo is just because i have my phone in there like i don't have a huge fucking i'm a body like that it's going to be a busy golf season we're going to go through all of that and a few other things. Do you think any of those get canceled? That's actually one of my main questions is,

do you believe that anything gets canceled? Yes. Yes. I think the Ryder Cup does. I think they postponed it again. Like, they literally postponed it because every player and every person involved in it said it's not the Rider Cup without fans. And according to how we're going right now,

things are only getting worse. They're not getting better. Maybe by that time. I mean, once weather gets nicer, and the vaccine has more time to get distributed. But, like, as a number. The numbers aren't great. But they're not going to open up to fans in that sense.

Like, even then, like, still, if it's, like, the numbers are getting better, you think they're going to allow X amount of fans. They'll allow, like, 10% of that. Yeah, the only thing that has me, like, somewhat hopeful for it is that, like, some stadiums or have had fans, like, at least we're, like, getting back to the point where, like, you watch a game in Dallas, any of these college football games, and there's fans in the stands. Like, there's a decent amount of fans in the stands.

There is. So we're already at, like, that level where it's a, there's a world that we are living in which fans are going to games in the United States. There is. Not in New York, not in New Jersey, but in like Dallas and California, you know what I mean? Yeah. Places like Florida. For sure.

There are people going. It shocks me sometimes. When I'm looking at the stadium, I'm like, well, there's a lot of people. Calvors are a 6,700 at some game the other day? Is that it? I mean, I feel low than 80,000. Feels like a lot of people. I think Dallas had a lot of people.

Yeah, I want to say it was like 15 or 20. Yeah. Look like the Rose Bowl had a decent amount of fans though 18,000. See that? That's a lot. That's a real number. That filled the whole Coliseum. Waste management, I believe, is currently scheduling and planning to have 8,000 fans.

Waste management? Yeah. I'm tired. That fucking dog fucked me. All right, we got a long day. Yeah. We got a day ahead. People, we're recording this Sunday night, so if something happened Monday that we haven't gotten to yet,

we'll probably add it if it's that important, but if not. What is this? What is this fucking picture of me? You just... Let's get through this. Hold on. Shut up. And you just know that we just record it Sunday.

So deal with it. If big news breaks Monday, we're not... Happy New Year, by the way. Oh, yeah. Wow. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.

You guys excited? Do you think it's going to be better or no? I think if it's not better, then we're in a drastically terrible situation come this time next year. We're now, and we've been in this place for a while, I guess, in my perspective, We're in the years now that's not fake. 2021?

Get out of you. Remember the 2000? They were trying to figure out the computers and the nightmare. Right. Everything was going to go to zero-zero. They thought it was just going to like everything. It was just totally fun. Yeah.

Like I feels like to me the 1990s were still like 10 years. One thing that fucked me up and I could have said it in 2020, but 2020 is like a fake year that I didn't even think. I didn't use my brain. But I've now been alive in four decades. Like this is like, I'm in a fourth decade, right? 90s, 2000, 2010, 2020s. I just hit my... So you're in your fifth decade.

Like, you're living in that decade. That's a lot of decades. It makes me feel old. Fuck you, Frank. Didn't really see the 80. They were born in that decade. Whatever. But you're still in that decade.

That's a downer if I've ever heard one. Yeah. I don't think I've done it off with my life to be in five, my fifth decades. Yeah. That's a wrap. All right. Why don't you sleep on that one? Fatty got a shot in there at the end.

Psychological shot. Yeah, he did. Alexander the Great died when he was 32. Nice. So he conquered pretty much the whole world. By 32. By 32. How do he die?

He got hit by a sword. Nobody fact-checked. Nobody fact-checked. Do not fact-checked. I just warned him who have died by way of sword No no

not by way of him I got hit by a sword It's like the side of it been like Blonde force trauma from a side I kind of locked out with rigs

And he like Started at Twitch And like Looked at the side And I had no idea What the answer was And just goes I think he got hit

by a sword That's like When Mike Portna I was trying to explain It's printed to us That's exactly You know how tired I am I just typed in

Hit by a Sword I just had nothing Yeah No he died He got hit by his sword A stray sword was flying Right See

I was out of the grate He's dead Oh my god Oh my god He's a sword Oh my god Shit what a bummer It sounds like you got hit

By like the blunt end Like the side of it Not even like the And I feel like 32 back then That's got to be like 90 now Yeah he got died From that typhoid

Typhoid fever All right All right Anyway We'll be back Thursday to talk about golf, golf. Golf. Goof. And we've got the Joel Damon video coming out Thursday, so get excited, get hyped.

Happy New Year. Hit it hard. Hit it hard, fatties. Hit it hard. Frankie's face.