Fore Play - “Guys, I think we’re off topic...”

Episode Date: February 19, 2019

Riggs tries to run a “State of the Union” style show but fails miserably. Frankie is back, Lurch stays on, and we react to the unprecedented local caddies show, then breakdown Tiger's week, Holmes' pace of play, JT's disappointment, and Spieth's shocking 81. Hilarity ensues as we get wildly off topic FAST!!!! You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/foreplaypod

Hey, 4Play listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. We are back. We're coming off an incredibly unique show. We basically invented a new way to podcast, which is fucking genius. Foreplay is presented all year as well by our good friends at Supreme Golf. They are presenting spots they bought on for the entire year. The only T-time app you need, the only T-time website you need to visit. Go to SupremeGolf.com.

Go to your app store. get the Supreme Golf app they are the best like everybody else you ever heard of plus just thousands more so get spring golf doesn't make sense not to use Supreme Golf when you're booking tea times this week next week come springtime come summer whenever get Supreme Golf and book it with that I'm calling this the State of the Union this is the State of the Union podcast 2019 Ford Place State of the Union I'm going to start by saying first of all welcome back Frank thank you we missed you I missed you guys how was your little trip it was a trip it was a trip. It was a long trip. I was gone for a long fucking time. And of course, the one day I leave

you guys talked to caddies. It did seem a little. It's like, oh yeah, there goes the caddy. He's left. Let's all talk to caddies. Yeah, we replaced you with 16 other guys. Yeah. And guys who know what the hell they're doing. No, they were legit. Although, I will say, so we, uh, we, of course, on last Thursday's show, if you haven't listened to it, we had, I think, 15 or 16 different caddies call them. A couple people were kind of boring, so we cut them. Um, but I think we ended up with like 14, seen or 15 caddies on the show. It did feel like we talked to 30. I mean, we sat in here for a good three hours.

At the end, when you said we'd only talk to like 15 or 16, I could not believe that number. A lot of people were chirping me too because at one point I said on the show, all right, we're through like 10 or so. I said, all right, we got like six left. We're going to go 60 seconds on there. Like, the next guy was eight minutes. Yeah. I haven't had chance to listen to the whole thing yet, but I heard I got chirped a couple

times. I saw it on Twitter. I don't know if it was from you guys or the callers. That's something I'm worrying about. We sat in here for so long and talked to some of the other people. I don't remember all the details. I do know that Ryan Whitney got chirped. Okay.

And he apparently responded on chicklets. So he was, this caddy told a story from Pinehurst, caddy for Whitney at Pinehurst and said that like went over the back of a green and the caddy told him to like hit this certain chip. Whitney like chipped it, came back to his feet, like chipped it over the green. Whitney started chirping the guy and then the rest of the round like whenever the guy would give him advice. Whitney was just chirping. Oh yeah, just like back on 10

when you fuck this, that. I guess Whitney went on chicklets and just buried the guy. It was like it was actually fucking 215 to the flag. The guy gave me the wrong number. Went over the fucking creed. You know, he was not going down to Pinehurst the next time I'm going to walk into that caddy jack.

I'm going to fucking roast that kid. So it was a lot of that. It was all kinds of good stuff. State of the Union. I'm calling him that too. We had Lurch on last show. I thought Lurch did a great job. A lot of compliments from Lurch.

So I'm going to try to bring you on as much as possible. Thank you. That's kind of the plan. Nice big barretton. and I play a lot of golf together, so I think it makes a lot of sense. We're also roommates. So, I mean, there's some come out of there. There's a lot of things going on over there.

Usually you get into it with Frankie. Yeah, I don't know how I feel about him being in the same room. I'm a Islander's, Rangers guy. Typically, like last time I, the two of you hung out, you're just screaming at each other about the Rangers and Islanders at the bar. The good thing is that I'm in a better state of mind this year than I ever have been, right? Usually Lurch catches me at a time where I'm like scratching and clawing just to get even with him. I'm like, well, maybe the Islanders suck, but at least you only have four Stanley Cups, one of them coming since, since, cure of polio.

Yeah, we were just talking about that, though. I mean, I would almost argue that the islanders are in a worst state right now. Yes, you can talk about the team, the coaching staff, the system's all going well. You're not going to bring me down. The islanders are in first place in the division. It's amazing. I will say it's amazing. A five-point lead on the second place team.

So I'm jealous of you right now in this season, in this moment, but long term. Oh, because the islanders aren't young guys. They don't have good prospects because they haven't been bad for the last 20 years. Well, they've got a few good prospects. Few. Three of them on the fucking junior team in the USA. And the best goalie in Russia. I would argue they're not coming out of the east this year.

So we're talking about next year already. And I think the Rangers have some great young prospects. Lundquist on the decline. Not a Hall of Famer, but whatever. We don't have to get into it. Gorgiev is almost holding a waiting card for maybe the best goalie prospect in the world right now. I can't pronounce his name. You know what?

You're a bottom feeder. Your team's nonsense. We're not good. We suck this year. But we did cover the one and a half against Pittsburgh on Sunday. This is why I don't want him in here. So the caddy episode. It was great.

We had Morgan Freeman's stories. I'm trying to, like, go back. Frankie, did you know how Morgan Freeman plays golf with one hand? What does that even mean? That was amazing. What? He does. There's video.

Yeah. So apparently he doesn't have like... He never touches the second. He never uses his other hand or something. The guy who's dead serious. He goes, hey, I had catty. Like, Morgan Freeman was out there. You know, he obviously plays with one hand.

We're like, what do you mean? He plays with one. Well, Sam goes, the rigs goes, how's this golf game? And then the caddy, like, pauses. for a second and he goes, well, you know he plays with one hand. And it was, I mean, it caught everybody off guard. That's completely breaking news. I mean, that's jarring.

The only word for that is jarring. He uses one hand? Great word. It was jarred. I mean, we were jarred. What does he do? Like, on the tape? Oh, there's pretty much.

The first video that pops up when you Google one, or golfing Morgan Freeman, is a one-arm drive. Did my mic turn off? I just, you know, maybe I got to turn this, I got to take these headphones off. You know, my situation, I just took mine off, too, because we got, like, too many people going on in here. It's hot as fuck. It's hot. I didn't have my volume up, I don't think, on those. And rather than just battle the whole scene, I just took my headphones off.

So we're doing a headphones off situation. Anyway, I mean, I'm going to look this up. What are you going to do, Lurch? Well, I'll tell you what, one and one sucks. Because then you got a little echo. You got both. One and one doesn't work. We've tried that a lot.

It's kind of a new vibe. It's a new thing we're doing in here. A lot of voices to get around. A lot of voices. And it was trying to hear you guys this, that. It was fucking weird. So I just took my headphones off. Trent, you always go headphones off.

Yeah, I like the no headphones. I like it's like a conversation as opposed to hearing my own voice. I don't like that. I don't like hearing my voice. I kind of like to hear my own voice. I'm like a squirrel in the middle of the road. I honestly have no idea which way to go left the road. You got chirped before the show by producer Jake who told you that whenever you turn to look and talk somebody, you shift your entire body.

And in podcasts, you move your face away from the microphone. So like, it sounds like you're like waning around in a circle half the time. Well, a few things to work on. It's fine. Anyways, the reason I wanted to do the state of the union is that we're going to do a lot more of these caddy type shows where we call in or where folks call in because, like I said, we just invented a form of podcasting. It's never been, nobody's even heard of that where you have a voice for all of the local caddies in honor of Matt Coocher is how we did it, of course. But we struck cool. People fucking loved it.

We got great stories. It was very funny. It was very interesting. Oh, and all the random common people out there who work in golf, boom. We get to offer a platform. You get to chat it up with us. So keep your eyes, keep your ears peeled. We're going to be tweeting about it.

We're going to be Instagramming about it. When we are going to be doing shows like that, we're going to have some superintendents calling. We're going to have maintenance workers calling. We're going to have caddies calling. We're going to have assistant pros, PGA pros, all kinds of good stuff. Call in. We're doing all kinds of good stuff.

We're going to become the show for you. We've always been that way, but we're going to become even more that way. So keep yourselves, you know, on the alert, on the lookout. It was very fun. Frankie, you're going to enjoy getting involved in these types of shows. I love it. I want to make an announcement that I'm in the hunt on the hunt for a new rangefinder. Oh.

I tweeted this out yesterday. So I'm in a little bit of a predicament because I left my rangefire, which I've had for like 10 years. Really old school Bushnell is great. You know, it kind of like, it's very durable. I used to just throw it around, throw it on the cart, all this, like that. Still worked all these years. But I left it in the cart at Estancia when I played with Bubba. not a big deal

left it in the cart after the round we went in we filmed like the interview and all that and then I just forgot and we just left

I don't know I don't have the balls be like hey Bubba I left my range rider at your club a month ago you can't ask one of his guys

I mean obviously you're not gonna ask Bubba Watson he doesn't give a fuck no I think it's just gone and it's old yeah

you know it's a good excuse I see these people with these new ones it looks like they got a fucking telescope I'm stunned that you're that's much of a range finder

guy I feel like you'd be like a holier than now, no range finder, walk it off type of guy. Because it's not, it's like against a rule. It's right off when I'm going to walk all the way up to the green every time. Just like, no, you look, you look down, you see, you see like a sprinkler head and you like walk it off. No, no, because then at courses, they're so inconsistent now. Playing a lot of their courses, you don't know, like if it's. Just stunts me.

I just thought that you would be like a... No, I'm a huge pace of play guy. Yeah. So you drive right to your ball, you walk right to your ball, laser it, ready. I like that. Yeah, I don't think you want to practice swings. I'll laser that shit. I'll laser it from 10 yards away if I have to.

Yeah, we had a whole show about this one time. Because I have no depth perception. Zero depth reception. You asked Frankie right now, Lurch, how high these ceilings are? He might say 70 feet. 22 feet. He has her 22 feet. No, I was just kidding.

I don't think you were. Like, they have to be no joke 12 feet high. Yeah, one time he's got a new, he's got a bush in the room that he bought. Yeah. Like, oh, how big is it? You guys? It's about as big as me. He was 2.5 feet tall.

You know what it is when I walked from Home Depot from it was over my head. but I just forgot that I was holding it from the bottom at my weights. Jesus. Yeah. Jesus, Frankie. Anyways, so I was tweeting out. I tweeted out, like, what kind should I get looking for information? It just so happens by this tweet that several companies that make rangefinders reached out,

and they're going to send me range fighters. So I'm... It's funny how that works. It's weird. I didn't anticipate, though. I had no idea I was going to happen. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to review them. I'm going to tell people what I think.

What's the review process on a new range finder? Like, what are you going? How are you basing it off of? Number one thing is how quickly it hits it. Okay. My old one sometimes, I'd be hovering all over that fucking flag for like five minutes. Yep. You get a little bit shaky hands.

You're a little hung over the night before, a couple too many trannies. Transfusions, that is. Yeah, you're going to want to work out. Very good to clarify. Yeah, smart. Let it be known. I clarified that before anybody said. I just watched Hague over, too, on the plane ride home from NASCAR, which is an

unbelievable event. Actually, I think there's a lot of crossover between some of our, like, Southern Golf fans. and NASCAR, I got a ton of people coming up to me. Like, dude, like, huge fan of the podcast. Like, let's go Rubbins Race and shit like that. Love to see that. Love it.

Watch Hangover 2 on the way back. Unbelievably funny movie. They nailed that one after, like, being able to repeat Hangover 1 with Hangover 2, the only reason I bring this up is because of the tranny thing. They both climax at the same time. Very funny part. And they literally did just repeat the movie. It's the same movie in a different place.

And it's so funny. They're both great. Transfusion. Transfusion. The drink. a couple, too many transfusions this night before. Your hands are a little shaky. You know, how much does it change, all that?

Apparently, these new ones, they vibrate right when you... Oh, it's the best feeling. My friend has a very expensive new one. No free ads. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to tell you one off air. I don't know how we're going to approach that. I don't either yet, actually. Well, none of these people are paying us yet, so I can review them very honestly.

Correct. Not that I wouldn't review it. I love that. Yo, he puts his hand up, thing vibrates. You can hear from the side of the cart. Like, oh, you got that thing locked in. You know what you know. I was like, oh, Tom, you know what the aridges is right now.

Oh, Tommy. I don't know what the aridges is, but you know it because I heard it. I'm very excited about that. Also, my old one, like, if there was a little bit of moisture in the air whatsoever, you'd look into the thing, I mean, it looked like there's a fucking marine layer. Right. No matter where you were. It couldn't see anything. Now is elevation going to be something that you're going to want?

So the slope. Slope. And make these new ones, they're called slope, but they do. They give you, like, the elevation change and all this. I know that. I know that's, you know. That's against the rules. I've been with rings.

He has not been happy when the caddy has told him the slope, okay? This guy, I don't know where the hell we were playing. It was the last time I played with you. And this guy is like, it's 172, 180 with the slope. And you're like, what is it to the pin? You said it like twice. Like, I just want to know the pin. I have eyes.

I can tell it it's uphill, downhill. Just give me the fucking pin. And the guy's like, all right. Everybody hits the ball differently. Yeah, you hit some low missile through the wind. How the fuck's the caddy know how much that's going to change my ball? Or if it's like elevation, if you flight it down or you got a ball. ball you hit it way up high in the air and the guy's going to tell you exactly oh it's 172 trust me it's

playing exactly 180 you don't know that you don't know what kind of shot i'm gonna hit no i don't know i don't know i'm fucking kind of shot i'm gonna hit this guy just knows so i don't like that and also it's like i think that's a big part of the game that's very fun it's trying to do the calculations and figure out in your head okay it's 172 feels like it's way downhill probably playing about 180 into a little wind so actually probably about 175 like i enjoy that part of the game yeah that's an important mental exercise to do during each shot And you kind of like see how right and wrong you were. Versus if you just have a fucking robot, it's like you're playing a video game.

Right. You know how they used to have that one Tiger game, Tiger 12, where they had a caddy mode on it? Do you remember when they came out with this one? No. There was a caddy mode. And if you had the caddy mode on, it would just, you would legitimately, instead of having to do, you know, if you're in between clubs and Tiger, like you can hit it 94% or something like that. The caddy mode, it would just set it up perfectly with the wind and everything. and you just went straight back, straight through the joystick,

and it just went to like a... For every shot. That's all you did. It was like perfect. Okay, back forward, back forward, back forward. 63. That was a lot of fun. Worst game in the world.

It was infuriating. That's what it feels like. A little different than the golf, the golf club? Golf club. 2019. I'm pretty good at that game. Oh, has this changed? Well, the last time I played you.

What? When we were at your... When we were at your apartment, I was pretty much blacked out. But I played other times. You were horrendous. You played the worst. There's no sugarcoding how bad you were. You guys left and my friend's like, Lurch was really bad.

Let me say this. Well, that was really his takeaway. He didn't mention Sam? Well, he was. Well, Riggs. Well, Riggs went into that and we knew that he didn't like the game. We knew that it wasn't good. You walked in.

You walked in being like, listen, I'm going to give you guys a really good match. And it just wasn't a good match. It was over after 11. That was a mistake. And I thought what was worse was the NHL showing. Riggs and I got absolutely smoked in NHL. I will say you are fabulous. us NHL player.

Thank you. I'm looking forward to you guys practicing, though, and getting back. I'm talking to you guys. It was bad. You guys went back. You guys walked back. We walked back and we were shell shocked about what just happened.

We got absolutely taken. We went to the Ligger's story. We had a bunch of booze. We went into Frankie's barn. We went in there confident as fuck. We're chirping. We've been real boozed up. I was going to lose.

I mean, we left tail between our legs. We were like, we didn't even deserve to get an Uber. We're walking home. It was cold. Middle of fucking winter. We're fucking freezing. and we didn't talk we didn't talk to each other for like yeah we were yelling at each other on the way home a little bit the one time we did speak it was like you i mean you were terrible that feels so good it's just a winning

night that feels so good couldn't have a more losing that it's like the food i felt like shit it was just we had a couple drinks in us you had none i think at the time not at the time you guys got there yeah so but whatever i mean a small excuse you got to balance your alcohol intake versus your performance level i agree i agree no we did a badge so no slope no slow no long story short i was tweeting that, people are going, you've got to get the slope. It's great. Like, I don't, I don't want the slope. Now, I will say, apparently they make somewhere you can switch the slope on and off. Didn't know that. That's fine. Apparently, that's where all the tour guys use.

They use this sick, I'm not going to give the company away. One, where you can just switch it on and off. So I think I'm probably going to do that. Breakings. Do you have any idea? Well, I know. I believe they use it during practice rounds. Yeah, that makes sense. But I don't know. And I think a lot of them, like, when they're out playing, like you saw Tiger in the, I just thought about this, but in the Phil Tiger 24-7,

Tiger jumped out of his cart, and he went to get his range pinder, and he just didn't have it. Remember he was like, I left it in my Rider Cup bag? That was insane. That was crazy. Talk about you being afraid to, like,

call Bubba. Like, imagine someone finding, imagine someone at the Rider Cup, like, realizing that Tiger left this thing there and, like, looking at it, like, do I call Tiger and tell him he left his rangefinder here? Or do you think he has another one? Like, his friend just being like,

I think he's got another one. Meanwhile, you watch the 24-7, he's like, damn, I lost my fucking range fighter. This guy is like, fuck. I was just thinking this too. Like, in two days, I'm going to have like five range fighters. Tiger only had one.

Yeah, it's great. I'm sure post that's right. He got some tweets as well. Hey, you want our range fire? Right. I mean, that guy needs to have them lying around like their fucking peanuts. You would think Tiger is a range fighter by this point, too. I think he's got to have range fighters.

Peanuts are everywhere. I have peanuts all over my apartment. I just can't stop stepping on peanuts. Like their... Is that true? No, that was a joke. No, they're being... Sorry, they're true.

We're being a rude. I mean, too. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, Trent's the type of guy that would have peanuts all over his floor? Why? I don't know. Why? Like, he's a ball game?

Is it a parvice of a ball game? I'm not. It's not like a bleachers. I think Trent's a ballpark. He'll just walk all over all over. He's a ballpark. It's like Wrigley Field. Colerner's a ball.

He's one of the more outdated ones. He's like Comerica. He's like one that's waiting to a renovation. How dare you? I mean. Do you guys have to say? We had a steakhouse in Cedar Rapids where you would eat peanuts and you just throw the shells on the floor. Those are the best.

I feel like that's what, that's what, Frank, you think. Texas Roadhouse. Yeah. Lone Star was one in Cedar Rapids. Yep. Lone Star is a great one. Texas Roadhouse. There's a great bar in my hometown, but nobody uses it.

And they just throw them on the floor. Yeah. That's what Frankie thinks my apartment looks. Oh, yeah. I think you have all those tangled wires and you just, you just crack. Bring up the wires and kill yourself. You eat these peanuts and you just walk to the bed. You just step on them.

Your feet are so withered and torn from just stepping on them for so much that you don't even feel them anymore. That's what I picture in your apartment. That's pretty accurate. When men and women upgrade from their tattered, outdated, multi-pack underwear to Tommy John, the most comfortable on the planet, they have a lot to say about it. Like Scott, who's happy his double agents are no longer going rogue. Or Melissa, whose Tommy Johns are so light and comfortable she worries she'll forget to

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You're going to get 20% off. That's Tommyjohn.com slash four. PGA Tour allowing shorts and practice rounds and proams. Let's talk about the real story here. Phil. Phil Mickelson's cast. He loves him. I saw that, I mean, we're going to use this term twice in the same episode.

but this picture of Phil Mickelson, whoever's listening to this podcast right now, there's a way for you to listen to the podcast and then also search things on your phone. You have to now go look at Phil Mickelson's Twitter, and you have to look at this picture that he tweeted out announcing that the PGA tour is allowing them to use shorts during, what is it?

So practice rounds is that what it is? So practice rounds is pretty sick too because a lot of guys are going to see these guys in shorts. Not every time can you get out and see a pro amp, but I'm going to be able to see, are we going to see Tiger in shorts? Oh, yeah. Amazing. Anyway, Phil Mickelson tweets out this picture of him

with these fucking unreal calves. These things, you want to talk about butter knives? These things are steak knives. He could cut, he could cut through

the thickest meat with the edges of these calves. I've never seen anything like it. Bro. He looks like the calves of like a T-Rex. They look uncomfortable. They look uncomfortable.

Dude, if you do the thing, if you take your hand, if you're looking at the picture, put it over his torso, it would take you 10 hours to guess who that is. You would never say Phil Mickelson. You would have no idea.

You would have no idea. I would say like Michael Phelps. Yeah. Yeah. Who else would have gigantic? Who's the really hot actor that, like Zach Ephron? Yeah. That's Zach Ephron.

He's always got muscles bulge in everywhere. Yeah, it's like a tan. I mean, he looks incredible. He's been hiding those things forever underneath his pants? Just announced that shorts are allowed for pro-am and practice rounds, Phil tweeted. Where does they saw my instestructionals in shorts and felt this move needed to happen? Well played, sir. Well played.

So good for Phil. Phil's embracing it. you know, I'll be, I don't, I'm not obsessed with the shorts moved by them. I just don't, it doesn't do anything for me. It kind of does. You get content out of it by Phil Mickelson's calves. Look, one little tweet is calves, fine. It's great.

I think over the long term, like, I kind of like the look of him in pants. What do you think was behind, like, the motive behind this? First thing I thought of was, like, they're trying to sell more, like, golf clothes. Like, they want to, like, express that, like, even pro is, like, use for. Right. Right, trying to be cool. That's what I think. Tor being, like, hip, and we're, oh, you can wear shorts.

This is, like, their big announcement. It's more appealing to the... It's also what they're trying to do with you arguing that way, but it's like, that makes them look dumber. Like, we're going to bring shorts. No, this one... You guys can wear shorts. It's like the number one story in all the golf sites.

It does make them more... It does make them more, like, approachable for, like, the average fan, too. It's like, I don't know, I wear shorts. You know what I mean? The average golfer, you know, more relatable? Relatable, yeah. Right.

Approachable is different. Yeah, you're not going to walk out to them. Approachable is that. Actually, I don't hate that. I would be more inclined to, that's because I think shorts, I think pants look more professional. So, you think shorts are casual? Are casual. So if the guys wearing shorts, I would be more approachable.

More relatable and more reproachable. I mean, I nailed both of them. More approachable. What did I say? Reprochable? Very different. Very different. We're all fucking speaking crazy.

We got too many words. Bottom line, shorts, you know, I don't hate it, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. I think the tour's pumped about it. I think the tour is like, we're going to drop this bomb, all the negative coocher stuff, and it's all going to go away because we're allowing shorts. The first run through of seeing everyone's legs will be fun, and then it won't be fun anymore. It'll just be commonplace. Yeah.

Because, like we said, Mickelson's legs, no idea that those pythons were under there. Trying to think, what kind of guys will just look totally dumb in shorts? I'd say most of them. Well, it's going to be weird. Like, who's going to wear shorts that go down, like, four inches past their knees? I'm having a tough time. Pictureing Keegee right now in shorts. Gigan?

No, I don't know, because he's a Jordan's guy. He's got probably, like, cool shit. I feel like he, like, plays golf with Jordan and with Brady, and, like, they always are rocking shorts when they play. You know, I think I won't wear... I think someone like J.T., like Justin Thomas, he's, like a little skinnyer. I know, like, me.

I don't look good in shorts. I feel like J.T.'s got skinny little legs probably like me. Do you endorse this move? Is a guy who only wears pants? No. I don't wear shorts. I don't wear shorts. Right.

That's what I said. You only wear pants? Yeah. I don't like the way my legs look. I like it. It opens them up. I mean, Lurch came to my apartment. The first thing he said to me said, I have dainty little woman legs.

I was wearing, like, tight sweatpants. I, like, went to my room and changed. It was unbelievable. I can't get away from these people with these legs coming. You can see them through your sweatpants. No, you just saw, like, how tight they were, and I guess you could see I don't have much mass on, like... Well, they were tight sweatpants. So, the whole thing was way too tight.

And small. What did you change into? I think I just put on, like, baggy or short, like, sweatpants. A second pair. I'm bullet on a second pair of up. You're bullied by lurch in your own apartment. I think I said it was like, I'm going to go blow my nose. And I came back with just darker, baggy your pairs on dance.

But yeah, I mean, I'm, you golf with me a bunch of times in like 100 degree weather. I'm always rocking pants. Yeah, you wear a great pants. I did this move at NASCAR this week. Someone gave, actually not someone, M.B., who works for us, got me this unbelievable NASCAR jacket, which I will be wearing to the office when the weather is like just a little bit warmer. It says one bite. All right, Frankie, on the back.

He got all the patches on it. I'm going to get more patches sewn. I'm going to get the foreplay patch on there. I'm going to get everything on there. And it was 110 degrees on the track, and I still wore it all day. I mean, professional drivers are asking me like, hey, man, like, why are you wearing them? It's because of the look.

Yeah, you got to go all the way. Yeah, so that's how I am with golf. So, I mean, this isn't, I'm not going to say I'm against it because I don't wear shorts. I wish I could wear shorts. I would love to have a nice pair of legs. Speaking of shorts and pants and looks, let me ask you guys this. So we got a new apartment. We got a washer dryer thing.

that's a one, it's a two and one unit. Your shirt. You see how wrinkle my shirt? I didn't want to say anything earlier. It's honestly laughable. I stood up when you and I, when I first started today, we were talking and I, like, could barely concentrate. Okay. I'm aware how wrinkled it is.

I'm telling you. Everything comes out of this dryer we got. Most wrinkled thing you've ever seen. I was just laughing earlier in the show because you were talking for a little bit. I was just staring right at you. And it's tough because it's a Borelli shirts. It's my family restaurant shirt. And I thought maybe it's the quality of the shirt, but I know we produced good shirts.

I know it's a good color of the shirt. It looks like I haven't changed shirts in a week. Riggs, that is the most ring that shirt ever. And this was, this is freshly clean. I got a little product for you. It's called, well, it's a, for real free ads, but it's called wrinkle release. It's a little spray. You spray it on, you whip it out.

Things are going to be fucking perfect. What does you whip it out? What does that mean? You like, you whip it out, like, almost like you whip in a towel. It's like, pop, pop, pop. And you just. For every article of clothing? You know, right before you wear it.

And it's got that, like, that nice, like. This is just going to be unwrinkled? It'll become unwrinkled. Yeah. That's amazing. It releases the wrinkles. Come on. I travel with it.

I did it yesterday. It was fucking perfect. It's way better to get it on it. I almost wish we wouldn't have brought it up because now I'm going to be looking at the whole show. About how wrinkle are your show. I've actually got it on. I'm trying to figure out because it's a two and one. So the washer and dryer in the same cylinder.

How does that work? It doesn't. Look at it. So I'm trying to figure out how to get the wrinkles out. But I haven't. We Googled that. We watch YouTube videos. We clean the lint tray thing.

Yep. I look forward to seeing what your show looks like. Bring your stuff over. Bring your stuff over. Rick sometimes gets like aggravated things. I can just picture Rick sitting in his apartment, just pulling out every article clothing. And it being more wrinkled than the last week. I just don't understand why all of my clothes are now wrinkled.

Like I'm just trying to have unwrinkled clothes. It's not working. You should see our pants. It's a joke. I'm talking. Oh, my God. Maybe there's a little person in there just like crinkling your clothes right before you. I do a, I do a too dry too.

So wash, dry. dry it again, but I put one of those like foam balls in there, hoping it will. Knock it around. Exactly. That strategy, whatever, if it is a strategy or not. And then the other thing that I'm really doing now is I'm just wearing it through the wrinkles to get the wrinkles out. So I'll wear pants now for three weeks straight. And on that third week when they smell like hell, no wrinkles.

So it's a balance of what you like. Also, let me tell you guys this. They sold us on this apartment because it's got like a two and one deal in there. Yeah. I want you to guess how long it takes? how long it takes to dry it? How long do you think? 35 minutes, isn't that usually like 35, 40 minutes?

What are you talking about? Honestly, when you start a wash, dry, it says five hours, 12 minutes. It's the biggest joke you've ever seen. It's the stupidest thing you've ever seen. You could sun dry them best than that. You could hang those things. Five hours? Like when I go around an apartment, checking out apartments out,

the one thing I do is I always test water pressure. word of the wise out there if you've got a two for one washer dryer just hit play and see what the time is because it shows five hours 12 minutes I should have seen my face I'm going to do a quick blow

before I go to bed it wasn't done by the time I woke up it was like yeah we guess we can watch the godfather twice while this shit dries whole apartment shaking all my oh man I mean that's I knew it was going to be long

and I didn't know how long because Riggs literally could not get the words out of his No, it's outrageous. I mean, it's not even a real number. What do you mean? And then you're going to shirt left. I mean, this is what you can. Just a cool, just a cool 300 minutes to dry your pants.

I did. I said it, normal, hit play. It's five hours, 12 minutes. What? What are you talking about? I mean, they had that thing figured out in like the 1800s better than that. Yeah. That's right.

I put them on a line in my room. They'll be ready to go under two hours. Not a problem. So, we just go, growing pains in the apartment. All right, Genesis is open. This tournament's great tournament. Tigers, the foundation benefits from it. Tigers now become kind of the host.

They're elevating it actually in the future to invitational status. So it'll have a lower field, smaller field, and it's invitation only, and it's on the level of the Memorial, Jack's tournament, and Arnold Palmer. At Bay Hill, the Arnold Palmer invitation. So it's already an awesome tournament. It's only going to become even more prestigious. just tigers never won there, which is weird because Tiger is obviously the greatest athlete of all time. There's a lot to get to here.

A lot to get to. J.B. Holmes won the thing. People fucking hate him right now. Internet despises him. Let's go, let's start with J.B. Holmes. Okay. So, first of all, J.B. Holmes, when you combine the slow play and all that with just his general look on the golf course, I'm trying to think of what he looks like.

But he's, once you decide to hate the guy, you'll never go back. I think that's a fair assessment of him. Never. Like, there's nothing that's going to bring you back. You look at him, you hate him, and then you hate him even more for the slow play, or you hate him for the slow play, and you also hate the way he looks. Like, it's no for two. Right.

He's doesn't, he's got no, like, no, like, jam to him. He's got no, like, charisma. No. His swing's ugly. As a guy who has a hideous golf swing, his swing is very ugly, and it's just nothing about him. and then you find out he's the slowest player on the golf course. He took five hours and 25 minutes to play their last round yesterday.

Incredible. Drying your clothes in that amount of time. He could have done a whole. It's a great point. You could have dried a whole load and over on Van Damme Street. That should be like to have 12 minutes. The new churn of the next row. The new chirp.

Jamie Holmes, I can drive my clothes at the amount of the time you play. Well, normal people can. He's trying to close after one hole. Everybody's like, Jay B. Nice chirp, Briggs. He's like that. It takes like 20 minutes, 30 minutes. You know, sick brag.

You can do your fucking close in six hours. Damn. Pretty good. Damn. So he, people have to remember he has a history of this last year at Torrey Pines. He didn't win the tournament. Jason Day did. Last year at Tori Pines, he took four plus minutes to hit a shot.

Alex Norn was playing with him. He made Alex Norn wait that entire time. Norn hit like a shitty shot. A lot of people would say. He cost more in the tournament. After Riviera, when he did win by one over JT, which we're going to get to, he said, yeah, when I first got out here, I was really slow, but I've sped up quite a bit. I've gotten better.

There's times when I'm probably too slow, but it is what it is. I was never on the clock, never even got a warning. TV wants everything to be real fast all the time. He does have a point here. He didn't get a warning. He was never on the clock. Yeah. So it's kind of like where, whose fault is it?

Because if you're playing slow as fuck, but you're making $1.3 million to do it, I would take all day. If you were like, hey, you're going to increase your chances to win $1.3 million, but the whole internet's going to chirp you for being slow, I'd be like, well, are they going to give me a penalty? Right. I mean, the answer to this is it's the official's fault. Yes. Right? If something was happening in your workplace and like here at Barcelona, if someone was doing the wrong thing and they just continue, like Greenie, right? That's like something more topical.

Greenie's just writing horrible headline blogs. He could be pissing everyone off in Barstle, but, like, if Dave never say anything to him, like he would just continuously write horrible headline blogs. It would be pissing all of us off, just like I pissed every other golfer off and every fan off. But until, like, Dave, who just absolutely ripped him a new asshole and just destroyed his life today, said something, now he's going to change. So someone needs to do that to J.B. Holmes. That's just, like, what you have to do.

Yeah, it's, it's frustrating because even, I mean, Adam Scott came out. Adam Scott's got a, this was an incredibly interesting dynamic that Adam Scott was in that final. group with J.B. Holmes and Justin Thomas, in front of the program, just last week, comments from Adam Scott came out where he said essentially that he would take a bullet. He said, I'll be the victim. I'll take the penalty. The only way it's going to work is if you enforce the penalty. So he was talking about So Play.

He said there's a big media fuss, a big feel that we play slow. What we do, but the tour is an entertainment business and a big moneymaker for a lot of people. until sponsors and TV tell the commissioner you guys play too slow and we're not putting money up. It's a waste of time talking about it because it's not going to change. Then he ends up in the final group. Afterwards, he reiterated says, I'll tell you my thing on slow play. It's never going to change. I think just get over until television and sponsors say no more money,

slow play ain't going to change. He's right. So I guess like I don't really know what we can do about it. I, you know, I wasn't necessarily as in agreement. with golf Twitter during all this and people shoot on the broadcast and all that. Because I find golf to be a non-fully committed viewing experience anyways. I'm always on my phone. 100%.

I'm always distracted when I'm watching golf versus when I'm watching hockey, for example, like you can't take me out of that for 25 minutes and then they go to intermission or whatever. I'm fully into it. Golf, like, I'm kind of in and out of it the whole time anyways. When they cut to the guys that I care about, I'm pretty into it. When they don't, I don't really notice. I don't notice a lot of the commercial breaks because, I'm just on my phone or I'm tweeting.

I find golf Twitter to be interesting and mixing it up, working on something else, whatever. So I will say I wasn't as an agreement with everyone else. That's like, again, they shit on CBS. They shit on the slow play. I don't think I noticed it as much as other people, but when you add those numbers up, they did too. Like, I love, and we've talked about this before,

I love watching the production guys. You can tell that they're trying as the broadcast goes on to try to time when they should cut to J.B. Holmes. So good. And they're like, they can't get it right. They just can't get it right. They'll cut to him. I think he's getting ready to hit now finally.

And they've probably been standing in front of him for two minutes. They're like, all right. And then they cut and then he stands over. And then he backs off. And they're like, God damn it. Like go over to the tiger and go to hear that. So you get to watch those kinds of things play out.

But for the most part, it's just kind of a shitty thing that I don't think is going to really change. No. Yeah, I mean, in the Noren case, I almost wish if J.B. Holmes is going to take forever to lay up and eventually just not even go. at the green. I think that Noren, like, if he could step in and say, you know, or like, J.B. Holmes

is like, I'm in decision between the three, would him into the win, et cetera. And Noren was in a rhythm. If he could play within that four and a half minutes and be like, hey, I'm only 20, 30 yards in front of you. Obviously, that's tough to organize. So there have to be some friendship between golfers, caddies, etc. But because four and a half minutes is outrageous. I had forgotten that was the situation. Yeah. And then eventually

deciding to lay up or to go for it. And then he just laid up. After four and a half minutes. He had a seven iron. drive me nothing. Now I'm pissed off. That would really, that would piss me off. And then J.B. Holmes, I don't hate his look as much as maybe everybody else, but

the fact that he doesn't start his, like, putt. Well, you have that style. I'm just saying you're sloppy. Well, that's rude. No one would ever say you're, like, clean and, like, this wrinkle thing's not helping. No. Yeah, I mean, I would say there's the guys sitting over here and wear all wrinkled clothing. You're not edgy. What do you mean? Like, what I wear? There's no sharp edges to you.

Like, there's no sharp edges to dig my own. I think I have my own style. It's pretty laid back. Yeah. But anyways, yeah, J.B. Holmes, look doesn't bother me. The fact that he waits forever to start his evaluation process of his putt is outrageous. That's where it's like, it's like, dude, look at the green. Like, don't close your eyes for the first 30 seconds while everybody else is playing. Like, look, evaluate it, and then you're already emitted into your process.

He is a bad example because anybody who's watching, you're supposed to do the opposite of what he does. Like, if you're the last guy to putt, you should be going through you, 90% of your routine. and then when it's your turn, you have the last 10% to do, same with your approach. If you hit the furthest ball off the tee by the time, the other guy's hit, like the first guy gets a little bit of leeway time because he's the first guy just arrived at the ball five. But you should have your distance. You should have the win, the slope, all the bullshit we just talked about. Pretty much figured out you should have had that conversation either with yourself or with your caddy or your playing partner,

depending on what the situation is. And then you pretty much should have a club selected. And by the time the first guy hits, second guy hits, by the time it's your time, like within 15 seconds, you should be hit. Yeah, and then everybody moves on. Instead, he doesn't do a thing. He just stands there. There was one really hilarious clip where he looked really, like, impatient while J.T.

was figuring out what to do it. It was incredible. It was an incredible clip. But, yeah, he's frustrating to watch. Some people were calling it, like, on sportsmen like, he should be suspended. I don't think it's his fault. And I think he made those comments. Like, nobody's going to enforce me.

It's not. What's, like, what am I doing wrong? I agree. So, Tor, figure out the fuck out. Ladies and gentlemen, I strongly recommend ShipStation when you're selling online, getting your orders out the door quickly can be tough. That's why you need ShipStation.com. It's the fast and easy way to manage and ship your orders all from one place, ship stuff all the time. Trust me.

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Oh, yeah. No. You are? Yeah. What is it? It's a commerce company. What are you kidding? Yeah.

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Collapse. He also played like shit in the final round with Ricky at the waste management. People remember because Ricky was trying to give that thing away. And nobody would press them, JT. and I think Cooch were maybe the guys that were like right in the mix with him there. And he couldn't get it done. Then yesterday I mean a four-shot lead going into the final round. Playing lights out despite the fact that he had his shank during the third round, which was hilarious.

Still made Plarn. Final round, 70. shop, by the way. What's up? Relatable shot, by the way. How many times you get tagged in that? So many times. I got tagged in it a lot by you.

I also got tagged. Oh, what was it? It was like some Bryson Instagram post. And he was like, everyone was just like, keep, oh, I think it was like, thank you for all the support so far in this season. It's been amazing. Everyone's like, keep body bagging Frankie. And every single time someone wrote that, he just liked it. It was like, it was like, Bryce and Dichimbo is like the comment that you've been included in.

Bryce and Deschambo was like, I was like, is he going to stop at any point? because I understand like he likes the body beggar. But yeah, everyone loves... I don't get taken any of the good stuff. No, you only get tagged in the best of stuff. Like dribbles, skull fox, and then Bryson DiCambeau, just like victory tours. Some guy did he hit me and was like, yeah, I was staying next to Bryson. I yelled out, make sure you don't butter knife it.

And Bryceon, he goes, Bryce and look to me, it gave me a thumbs up. Yeah. So he's just like, the minute that he hears you get chirped, he loves it. Lones it. Bright gives up his day. Oh, yeah. Like the best part of the day. No one's beating anyone more than he's beating me.

He's dominated you. I have nothing. on him. No. Not that I had a lot on him to begin with. No, which I had, like, internet hate. Yeah.

I had a lot of confidence. Yeah. Yeah. He stole your confidence. Oh, yeah. Big time. Steve. Jordan Speath.

What? Spath. Yeah. My bad. Jordan Spath. Spad. Someone said that to me at NASCAR. They're like,

yo, I love the way you guys say Spath. I'm like, that's right. Spath. If he would have said, I love the way you guys said, what? If we have any new listeners, the background here, is our favorite book, Tiger Woods. Oh, man. The name of it is Tiger Woods.

Yeah, that's the name of it. The audio version, the first time I listened through, and they referenced Jordan Smith, and the guy just says his name, Spath. Just an unbelievably incorrect way to say, one of the most famous golfers. And I had bought the audiobook, getting ready to get on a plane,

I'm sitting on this plane. They didn't really mention Spath until quite a ways into the book. It's like stepping in a puddle. It's just spam. And I was just so shocked when it happened. He said, what the hell did he say? And they kept going on, Jordan Spath. So you're right.

Jordan Spath. He, I mean, he's, first of all, last year was basically the worst year that he's really had as a pro, especially coming off of how good he was for a couple of years, his 2015 year where he could have won all four majors and the Grand Slam and all that. He at Pebble, well, he last year didn't make the Tour championship. So that was kind of, whoa, shocking that this guy was supposed to be a top five, ten guy. in the world in everybody's mind didn't even make the tour championship a lot of people are chirping for that can't put he's got the yips inside of like 10 feet all this stuff comes out this year missed a couple cuts then he started to get his shit together played better

at pebble collapsed on the weekend next tournament riviera this past weekend starts playing well again he's got a great first round he shot like 700 first round or something like that in the mix he shot 81 yesterday plus 10 yikes 10 801 he did the cycle he hit for the cycle. You made a bogey, a double, a triple, and a quad. Could you shoot an 81 on Sunday at Riviera? Not even close. She how hard that course was playing? It was unbelievable. It was so fun to watch. I will say that too. I was reminded at how beautiful, because we had when we had Wesley Bryan on a couple weeks ago, and he was kind of given a shit. Like, you guys, I've learning that all my buddies tell me you guys love when there's carnage and we get shit on by

the golf course. And we always talk about that. We talk about it so much, in fact, that I wondered if we'd overblown it. It was so fun. Like watching these guys. J.B. Holmes on like the 11th hole, three putted from like four feet. Then like two holes later, JT does the same thing from like four puttted. They're just missing putts. And then every time they miss one of these puts, it was the most nerve-wracked television I've ever watched.

They'd miss one of these like two footers. They'd have five feet coming back for triple or for double. I was like, what is going on here? It was awesome. It was awesome. It was incredibly fun to watch. So I like the carnage, but Speth. really not on the right side of the carnage

with the 81 hate to see it I don't really know what to think about it's bad A lot of people saying he has the yips Like literally has the putting yips Doesn't look good I mean the yips are no joke man If that gets inceptive in his brain Who knows how long this will go

He missed that one like three footer or two footer But the guy like that's all confidence Right with the yips like it's obviously not It's obviously not like his Mechanical stuff It's got to just be like, can I hit this? And then he's constantly thinking, no, right now. Yeah, I saw a lot of chatter.

Like, he used to look at the hole on the short puts. Remember that? I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. That was a move that all amateur golfers thought that they could adapt and do. My dad would not look at the ball. He'd just look at the hole. I'm like, Dad, you can't do that, though.

Like, you don't have anything close to what Jordan Spath has. You have nothing. You have none of the, none of the qualities that Jordan Spath has. None. The fact that your dad's trying to look at the hole. And he'd be like, and he'd nail one. And he'd be like, see? Like, see?

Like, yeah. I'm like, but you're seven feet. You're like seven inches away. And you like bounced it off the back of the cup because you had no idea how close you were. It went in. It went in, though. But yeah, I remember that being like a huge thing. We have to make a video with Mr. Borrelli.

I know. It's crazy. You got to watch the way. He read this thing, this one. I think I may have said this on this podcast, but he read once in one magazine. He's a huge, like, read it in the magazine and then do it on the first T guy. Whatever the magazine says, he does it on the first two. Who is it?

I mean, at some point, you like, try it out on the driving rain. or like you at least see if you can do it. He just like does it on the golf course, not even knowing if it's correct. It's just like a little blurp at the side of a picture. It's like, you should do this. And he's like, I'm in. I love it.

This one magazine said, like, if you're struggling with getting your hips through the ball, as you start, as you start, as you're just like at the ball, addressing the ball, you should turn your stomach before you swing because you're already getting a head start away from the target. So you should just start. You should just do a little, just a little hip twist. It's just a little boom.

Just a little boom. Just a little right there, your belly button just goes away from the pin. And it's just supposed to get you going. Like, because I guess he doesn't get far enough back. And every time he remembers to do it, it's like the funniest thing. He'll do it like 45, 50% of the time. And you could tell he's about to, he thinks he's going to crush it. And then he just does a little turn.

And I'll like, whoever I'm playing with, I'll like hit him on the show big, watch this one. And he just like duck hooks it. I'm like, oh, you turned it just a little too much that time. Yeah, that's, it's tough to see. stay in sync when you start out of sync. Like if you want to keep it together. It's supposed to be just like for a guy that really has... It's a little trigger move. It's a little trigger move.

Right. Like Nick, Jack, Jack did a little knee move. Yeah. Right. Before. So some people have a little trigger. And sometimes if I'm, if I feel like he like needs like a tip of big dad, like, make sure remember to do the hip thing. He's like, oh yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going to do way better. I can see you. No wonder I've been playing like shit. I forgot about the hip thing. Yeah. I also, speaking of your dad, they have made the commercial for the square Strike.

If you're like a 15 to 25 handicap, I don't know how you have it. I think you talk about like you may get it. You were like, I think I want this thing. You almost have to have it. It looks perfect every time. These people. Perfect. Every time.

They say you just have a putting stroke. You just tap it. It just plops right at the fucking hole. One lady comes on and she goes, I chunked one, but at Square Strike, it didn't chunk. It rolled right up there. I was like, that's amazing. Unchunkable golf club.

Why I don't have it's insane. I don't even know if they make it and left it. We look it up, they did. They do. They do? Okay. I wanted to say that we were going to get it like a year ago for you, and we looked and they didn't make it yet. And we're going to have to look at it.

That might be the shot put one where he just hit the button. Oh, that's the best one. Lurge, have you heard about this one? Yeah, it's a great one. It's got, like, fucking gunpowder in the driver head, and he's just standing on the fucking fairway, and he's just, boom. And this thing just goes 310 yards down the middle. No, nothing. No, nothing.

Just boom. My dad would live for that. I don't know. All of a sudden, you'd see on the other side of the hole just a big spot. arc of smoke and he's just like looking at his ball just going right down the middle. Great shot that. Like a cat's kid. Oh, my God.

Yeah, the Square Strike, I, um, maybe it's because I just watched so much. There were so many weird times this last week with the golf because they were like, stop, start, 6.45 a.m. All that kind of stuff. Uh, that I was just in infomercial time and I just saw so many Square Strike commercials. By the end of it, I was, like, I have to fucking go over it. I was like a zombie, like Square Strike. Square Strike.

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And Kite's slim profile means it fits. right in your pocket. Sounds very nice. Use promo code barstool fan on kitecharger.com and enjoy 30% off today. Kite products are not associated with nor sponsored by Jewel Labs Incorporated. Tiger, we got to talk about Tiger. So second time we've seen him this year. First time, tied for 20th at Tori Pines.

Tied for 15th this past weekend at Riviera. Kind of a weird week, another sluggish week. He really didn't have much going it felt like. And then all of a sudden the third round, he just starts on Fuego. Yep. On fire. Birdie, Eagle, birdie, birdie. To start five under through four holes.

Places going crazy. The leaders hadn't even teed off yet. So he went from one under to like whatever, six or seven under in an hour. And the leaders are at 11 under. So you're thinking like, oh, he's right in the mix. Here we go. We're going to have a great weekend. Ended up fading off.

You know, they called play due to darkness. He went 70, 71, 65, 72, tied for 15th at Riviera. he got it to, which it was six under, I believe, but he got it to like 10 under, which would have, if he could have been put together, where he still had like nine holes after, which he still could have then put together. Yeah.

He could have all of a sudden been in the mix. I got to say, I'm loving what I'm seeing. He's driving the ball great. He's still doing that thing from last year where he stopped trying to hit the ball 340, and instead he's just in the fairway, and he's hitting it 300 or 310 or whatever he's doing, which is fantastic.

Iron play has always been one of the greatest iron players of all time. He did have a couple, I feel like, more rusty irons than I usually see him hit. He was kind of pulling his wedges, which is weird, and he putted, like, shit for most of the tournament. He obviously got hot on the weekend a little bit, but that's fine. He's 42. He can figure that kind of stuff out.

Is he 42 or 43? I can't remember. He's 42. Do you think his adjustment with the length of the driver is now causing him to now adjust the way he plays his irons, right? Because instead of always having a certain amount of distance in, now he's got even more because he's, taking it back 20 30 yards. I mean, he probably, it's probably the first time in his career that he's, you know, having hit these longer irons.

From, like, a little bit longer in for the most part. I'm noticing on a lot of par fives, too, he's got five woods in his hands, whereas I feel like from the middle of the fairway, which I feel like it used to be, if Tiger Rips went down the middle, he's got a fucking iron at it at most, like a long iron. I just wonder if this is, like, stopping him from, like, really dialing in and, like, shooting darts right by the pins every time because. I think it is. I think it's definitely, like, it's going to be harder for him to get it close. But I also think you'll see Tiger tends to play harder golf courses. That's what his schedule does. He doesn't usually play tournaments where 25 or 30 under wins it or 20 to 25 under wins it. He typically plays courses where it's mid-teens all the way down to like single digits under. It can win a lot of time because he's kind of a mistake-free guy.

He can play a lot of holes intelligently and like conservatively where he hits that long, the stinger, two iron off the team. and then he hits, you know, a mid-iron or into the middle of the green 20, 25 feet, lags it up there close. He attacks the par fives, dominates the par fives. And if he shoots two, three, four under each round, you add that up and he can win a lot of these tournaments. So I feel like that's kind of the way that he feels like he's going to play from now on. But, yeah, if he tries to play that way and he doesn't put well, he's fucked,

and that's pretty much what happened. Yeah. Yeah, this weekend's kind of tough to judge, too, because the weather was so bad that it's just going to play wildly longer. Like that eagle, he went driver five wood and then stuck it and then had a great putt. He also made a bomb to even get in the weekend. But I think, yeah, last year especially in the majors, he hurt himself with, he was like irons off the tee and just had such a long club in that there's no way that he could score. So if he gets it consistently further out with his driver in play, he'll have a chance to score. He's also a process guy, right?

So he learns how to, like, he always says, like, just give me like a year with this new back and this new swing and then I'll be. be like that it's all a process. And now I feel like it's a new process to learn his game with a shorter ball off the T. So like for me it's just like wishful thinking like, all right, maybe he just needs a couple rounds under his belt now this year to just get like this new groove of like playing longer irons, like heading into the into the green. And it's still relatively new. It's very new.

Start until during the playoffs. Very new. With the shorter driver. Because the drives were all over the place before that. He was kind of spraying it. And he, you know, his swing speed was in the mid-120s. Now it's like 118, I think they were saying. Again, it's been cold, so I think he's closer to 120, which is fine.

I mean, even I was watching the PGA Tour Live with him, J.T, and Rory in the first three days. First of all, every time I watch Rory on one of these things, you just, you really don't appreciate until you watch how many puts he misses. Don't appreciate it. It's just unbelievable. I don't know how that guy doesn't just want to break his putter in half every round. He could be dominant. I'm looking. It's insane.

Dude, I look up. Guys, I made a fucking punch. I've been watching golf nonstop for three days straight. I look up. I'm like, man, I haven't seen Rory make a single punt. Every time I look at him, he's like, eight under. That's when you made a fucking punt. It is.

There's always a moment every single weekend when you're watching golf and you're like, you're just like, man, Rory really could have ran away with this thing. And then like you said, you like, look at this score. He's like, not that far off. No. No. And a lot of times, too, it's funny. I mean, they'll pan to him.

And we'll just look at each other and be like, there's no chances. He lost my footer, I mean, misses by five feet. He lost by three strokes. He must have missed 15 putts. I've never seen somebody like. He lost my three strokes. It's not. He could have won by 10.

It's not even that he, it's not even that he misses. Like, I don't see, like, I don't think this week I remember I'm missing a ton of like really short ones that I was surprised about. He actually actually was better with it, but still, it's awful. It's just like 10, 12, 15 feet where he played the whole great. And you'll see that for nine holes in a row. He'll hit another dart in there at about 15 feet. And he doesn't make a single put. And he plays those nine holes.

like even par with one under with a birdie on the part five where he like reached it in two no problem missed an eagle pot you're just like Jesus Christ this guy not the worst game to play though it's incredibly impressive it just looks so frustrating like how could you get the ball that well hey man if you were just a better putty to be the best golfer of all time not even close but watching him j t and um tiger i actually realized like tiger's ball was out there with those guys more than i thought it would be if rory really stepped on one yes he's going to have tiger by 20 or 30 yards It's like fine. But I was, a lot of times they would all hit driver.

Tiger hits his little cut off the tee. And he was out there with JT. I mean, Jaychi rips the golf ball. And he was out there with those guys at least like right in the ballpark with him. Yes, he was hitting first a lot of the time. But he was right in the ballpark with him. So I don't think he's giving up a ton of distance, but it is going to be, it's still kind of new that Tiger Woods, who legitimately, if you go watch the fucking.

Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods. If you go watch the footage from when he used to win majors. in the late 90s and early 2000. I mean, he's driving the ball 50 yards past people. Different courses. I was watching. There's that Colin Montgomery piece where he's pretty much just like,

I was stuck at 270 back in the day, which was pretty good for me. That was your Scottish. That's pretty good. I'm pretty much, John, deaf. Callum Montgomery. That's my best guess. I thought it was fine.

Thank you. I didn't think that was that. Southern accent? Dude, I literally have, I mean, I know my voice is just an awful low baritone. Bad, yeah. For me to mimic anyone. I mean, I mean, I actually thought I crushed that.

That was pretty good. No, I think that was pretty good. What you're giving him a battle? I thought there was like a southern accent. Do it again. I don't even really. You can't do it now. You can't do it now.

Tone deaf, like you can't hit like notes on songs. Well, I call my one friend. I'm not about to sing on this thing either. I call my one friend tone dead all the time. He never nails a note. Never once. Not a whistle, not a hum. Stuck at 270.

I missed it. You got it. Hold on. That was Jimmy U.S. That was Jimmy U. World, the middle. I was stuck at 270. back in the day, which was pretty good for me.

I mean, that's his best. I don't really... Second time around wasn't as good. Well, yeah. I'm sorry. We do accents on this show. We've done it. We've done Australian accents.

We tried the Australian accents. There's an Australian accent. If it's an accent-heavy show, you can skip it. There's a wall to be down by the lake. No, you have one phrase you can say in good Australian. There's a wallaby down by the shock. Yeah. It was a wallaby down by the shock.

Well, dude, so I tell this, so I told this... That one for every reason. brings out pretty good Australia. I told the story on the radio. We were at NASCAR and we got the royal treatment and I was sitting in the monster pit, the crew pit, whatever the hell that means. We were on top of basically where they come in to get like, well, their shit changed. And you can put on these headphones and you can listen to the driver and all the stuff.

And I was next to this monster energy. Like, I guess his job was to be like a hype beast. And he was this like long-haired blonde with these unreal shades. And he had a monster energy, like, race. on and he was Australian he was awesome and he's like all right Frankie like you're gonna have the time of your life out here and he had like

a grungy accent I'm like okay and Dave is in the fucking pace car which is crazy any listeners that don't know what I'm talking about Dave Portnoy got invited to go to the fucking Daytona 500 we've never even watched a race in our entire lives and he rode the pace car with Dale Earnhardt Jr. Which is like throwing out the first pitch to

like Ted Williams or something it's like insane and um true and so so Dale Arnardt Jr. is coming around with Dave and all these cars are coming. My first experience ever. And this guy's like, all right, buddy, your guy's coming now. And I'm like, holy shit, like, what's about to happen? And Dave comes in, like, I guess they went from

65 to like 100 real quick just to get off the track. And then all of a sudden these guys come 200 miles down the track. And he's like, here it is! Yaa! And I'm like, I'm screaming with him. Like, we're both just screaming at this race. And it was just such a thrill. Like, I'll never get that high again.

I explained it on the radio that it felt like a love at first sight feeling where, like, you just could like I just watched these cars go by and someone could have just like someone could have hit me in the kneecap with like a with like a with a with a bat and I just wouldn't react yeah in that moment that's how cool it was wow yeah that's awesome I went to F1 Montreal obviously wildly different okay it was really cool really cool like amazingly impressive people stand up for like their favorite car like Lamborghini will go by yeah you can see them on like an app or whatever where your car is and so we just started picking a team of guys

I think it was the Ferrari driver's veteran somebody else but it's amazing to see them take a tight turn. We sat like right on the turn and then just ripped down the straightaway. They go from zero to whatever they go. Zero to 100 real quick. Yeah. It's actually amazingly impressive. That's a Drake line.

Daytona's good time. That was unbelievable by me, by the way. What the hell were you talking about? Don't worry about it. Racing cars. So Tiger Woods, I mean before we got there. Tiger Woods, I think we were talking about his golf game. I want to make the comment that he, for a 645 AMT time on Sunday morning,

So what time you just sat in your alarm He said two or three a year I mean At the end he said he was very tired from this tournament And I was actually like I'm glad you didn't really press yourself too too hard In this tournament It's like yeah give it a pass

Look he's also Shooter 65 Show us a little something Take a nice easy 72 on a cold wet rainy day He's got a little bit of a vibe Of he's saving something Doesn't it feels like It feels like he's at Tori

And at Riviera like he's not it's like if he really had to win this golf tournament to like save humanity I feel like we'd see a little more a little something more out of him do you think if Tiger had a gun to his head

and they're like you have to win or else we're just going to kill you he would I think he'd be more likely than what I saw this past I agree with that so you're thinking it's like a tuna yes I think he's okay game finder the first time in his life of like it being a little bit of a

of Tunappy. Like every single season. I do agree with that actually. Something he'd never admit, but he, you think he's doing it. So we think his mindset going to teach he isn't just majors now. No, like, I think his mindset is this. Like, I'm a different person. I'm an older person.

This is my last run at this. I want the last run at this to be 10 years long. Yeah. And in order for that to happen, if I need to do, let's call it, like he honestly, in his current state, he might need five hours before a round of golf to be ready for that round of golf. like with the treatment, with the work. I know he works out every day before he plays golf,

the treatment, the workouts, the stretches, the warm-up session of the range, eating the right leg, and the fact that he's 42, he's had a bunch of back surgery, he's had knees surgery, all that. In order for him to go out there then and be able to compete with Justin Thomas and Jordan Speath and DJ and all these fucking guys, like he needs X,

and he might not be willing every round now to go through X to be at his best. And I think that he thinks, okay, it's Riviera. What I loved it went here at some point in my career, absolutely. But, like, it's a cold fucking week. I got my half his body is, like, the Terminator. And everybody knows, like, when they get surgery, when you have, you know, titanium or whatever, like, put into certain parts of your body to hold together, fuse together. You can feel it in those areas.

Like, he's probably just, like, this might not be my week. I don't think he's giving up, but, like, I don't think he's going above and beyond and to make sure it where. Whereas that's the master's? Like, I think that motherfucker is exhausting everything and is like, if I need two months to recover, fine. I agree with that. I mean, this week, too, was a complete grind. I mean, the way the holes were played with the weather, stoppage, go back out. I think if there was any week to be like, if I could just keep it easy on the back for the next, whatever, you know, 18, 27 holes I'm going to.

I'm sure he was wild, like a different mindset when he started out lightning fire and went, you know, five, six hundred through those first couple holes. but as soon as it tapered off a little bit and the back nine I think he just played even at that point I think he's just like we'll just get through this if it's a top five or top 15 it really doesn't matter on to the next let's save the body and make this thing sustainable for the long term because I agree with that four or five hour pre-round warmup

it's a lot yeah and and post round like I think it just takes him like the wholesome approach that he has to take to be at the peak of his game is so much different than when he used to just be able to show up he never did just show up like he always did a shit done but he could have fact of the day because he's a young gun he'll be fine his body will feel great whereas now

it's going to be stiff in order to get all that stiffness out it might require all of the certain stuff and he might do most of that but like going above and beyond to make sure you're 100% this or that i don't know that he's doing that and so i'm okay with that i i think the florida swing will be great for him he wins at bay hill all the fucking time um it's going to be warmer he's down in mexico this week, which will be great at the altitude. All that is ball is going to be hitting moon balls all over the place, which is going to be great. I mean, this is where DJ in like the 370-yard hole hit it to like 10 feet with a two-iron. It's crazy down there.

So he's going to be playing down there. I just think we'll get a lot different look at him down there. And I don't know. To me, it just didn't feel like he was exhausting everything. But we're going to get another look at him. His schedule is starting to take a little bit of shape. As is Phil. and I think Phil made a comment that he might not even play in the players' championship.

He's, yeah, he made a little comment like, he basically said, like, I'm not a lock to play in the players' championship, and when he broke it down. He said, well, I've won there before, and the golf course doesn't suit my game that well. He's so good. What a fucking comment. I mean, it was honestly, it was incredible. Yeah, but he basically made the comment like that. Like, I have to, in order to kind of do what I want to do at this point, I have to, like, take certain weeks off because the condensed schedule, I've already won there. Yeah.

And the players like, I've already won there next time. Like, hey, Phil, why aren't you coming to the players? Like, well, I've already been there and done that. I've already done that. I already already own. What do you want me to do? I already won it.

It was an unbelievable comment. And like, their response back is like, Dan, you're right. Why come back? Like, why would you go through everything to come back here again? The only reason you come here is to win it. That's true. You've already won it.

That's true. It makes, like, sports, like, feel like not real. It does. Don't get into your weird fucking mood. here. Well, I saw that fucking, that whole, I mean, you tweet, you blog that Trent, that whole thing about the world. Oh, yeah. A space video about the world. What do they call?

What do they call it? What do they call it? The cosmic web? That really fucked me up, man. Yeah, I can't. That stuff. I actually like that. It's a little too deep for this podcast. Yeah, it is. We're all just, you're glad to Sparsal Radio last. We had a whole two shows about this. I like that. Everything kind of means nothing. Nothing really matters. We mean absolutely. Just a couple peanuts in the ballpark.

Just a couple peanuts in my apartment hanging out. Fair enough. Yeah. But you mean something to to people. You're right. Yeah. Like us as people, we only get certain. At some point, it won't matter. You want those moments to meet something to the people you care about. Like, hey, you got friends and all that.

But in the grand scheme of things, it's just, we're just like a blip on the radar. Yeah, but who's going around going? We're a huge blip on the radar. Or like, we're important. Wait, say that again? Jake just raises him. You think we're important, Jake? No.

I think you guys are important. But, like, in the grand scheme of things. So, like, to a certain group. Yes. Like Frankie said, he was in, he was at like the NASCAR and forplay. He got four play comments. Yeah. But like, you go to Japan.

They're not like, oh, my God, for play. Right. There's a blit. And I'm not saying, like I said in the blog, I'm not going to stop shop. What are you saying about that? I'm not going to stop. I'm not going to stop showering. I'm not going to stop showering.

But I'm just saying like. Sounds like you want to stop showering. Oh, man. This is his logic. If you could stop sharring. That's a depressing way to go about it. It doesn't sound like you want to stop shower. If you could stop showering, would you?

No. I have to shower every single day. But is that because of public perception of you? No, it wakes me up. Okay. But you're already up. How else did you get in the shower? Wakes me.

You know what I mean? You wake me up. I am I wake up every morning in a whore because there's water on my face. I know I got there. Oh, my God. Every fucking morning. I just come to in the shower every morning. It's a horrifying experience.

One o'clock's just a bucket of water on your head every morning. Oh, here I am. Fuck this. I don't want it to make it seem like that. Because I do, relationships and friends, and that's all great. But it is sort of like I do feel a little bit better that, like, if someone says something mean to me on the internet, it's not like the end-all-be-all.

Would you take a million dollars right now in cash to be woken up for the rest of your life by a bucket of water? No, it needs to be more than a mill. Why? Dude, that's going to do psychological damage. I would do it. I wouldn't even think about it. So your mattress is just soaked? Like, can I get a tarp or something?

No, they wheelie in, and then they turn the water off. No, you can do whatever you want to the magistrate after you wake up. You can dry it. She's got plastic sheets. You can do any preparation you need, but you know that every single morning at a time that you unsuspect, right? You can't, like, set your alarm to it. Like, you may set your alarm to, like, a, like, you may think it's going to come at, like, 827, but it comes that next day at 826. This is a water cold.

You don't know the temperature. Some days it could be room temperatures. Some days it could be just fucking freezing. Four months in, you'll be a crazy person. They'll have to put you in an asylum. You won't be able to spend that money. Dude, I honestly think I'm out. I'd rather just take my chances and hopefully make a million dollars.

Rather than, like, because imagine how depressing it would be. Say, like, life treated you really well. You made a ton of money. But you still got water dumped on your face every morning. That is the peak of misery right there. And you got to explain to people who you have a nice young lady over, like, by the way, between the time of 815 and 845, there's going to be so much water on this space. You have to leave.

Before we go to bed, you have to go home or just like, why, I want to stay. No, no, you don't understand. The ceiling opens up and I just get a gallon of water on the face if you stay. And then that's an all-time night back. And then he's trying to beat it. You just like don't fall asleep and you become like a horribly depressed and like just tired person. You're like an insomniac. You go crazy.

You go crazy. I think I'm passing. The bucket of water every morning too. I mean, this, yeah. It just hits you wherever you are in natural environment. That sucks. I'm out. I'm out.

I thought it was like confined to like a shower kind of almost. Yeah, I thought you woke up every day and it was like, oh, you're already in the shower. But I thought, I mean, it would be a bucket of water. If I spill a glass water in my room. It's my whole wheat. It's awful. You can't be like every the ground and seep it through everything. One gallon of water every day.

I was out from the beginning. In your nostrils, the choking effect. Every morning. Not once a week, not once a month, every morning you're going through that horror. God did. You ever swallowed water? That is awful. Awful.

Imagine that every day of life. And the guy who does it, it's a guy who does it, and he's real smug about it. He, like, throws it on you and walks away. By the time you, like, clear your eyes out and see what happening. It's a worldwide pass. The front door just close. You never get to see the person. See tomorrow, bitch.

You just hear the door close. You never get to see who it is because your eyes are always fucking, ah. I'd actually prefer that he was meeting me. I'd be much angrier if he would. was like nice about it. Like, hey, good morning. See tomorrow. Yeah, here's your water.

100% agree. If the guy were nice about it, I'd fucking hate that gas. 100%. Would you call that your name before you did it? Trent. Please, you know, it's a pass. Scared you so your mouth opens and you'll, small all the water possible.

I think we're off topic. Let's turn into a KFC radio episode. Who's on first? I think every morning you try to like dodge it. I think we have to ask Kevin that. We may have to do a little crossover episode. Trent. Riggs is right though.

Having a, like, a wet bed every morning is for the worst place. I mean, how do you go to sleep? You just go to sleep the next night on the couch, but he hits you again. So now the cop is really. Just rotate around the world. Everything's soaked. I would just end up killing myself. I just couldn't be, I wouldn't be able to do it.

Exactly. I mean, you literally would never be able to have a relationship. So do you guys change your stance then? Because when we started this equation. Is there a money thing now? Like, what if it was $100 million? I think it's a quality of life. I mean, obviously, there's a number with everything.

Think of how many phones you would go through? Right. The phone would just get ruined. 100 million I'm in 100 million I'm in Just so people know where I stand I have a price Imagine like girl comes over

You have no furniture in your room No outlets nothing Or like I sleep in the bathtub Or no you do have all that stuff And then you take her into like The wake up room You're like listen I we got to go into this little room here

It's got like drains The second The second you walk her into this room It's got drains on the floor And you're just sleeping on a non-matress just like, just fucking rest. The second you say, we got to go to the wake-up room, she is

bolting out of the door. She is running away so quickly. It's a damp room which is draining the floor. It's like, what is this for? It's like, it's a long story of what you'll find out of the morning. This is where I sleep. You can have 100% of my rest. We're going to have a lot of fun because of $100 million. Why are you sleeping on the wood floor? Well, you'll see in a couple hours,

I made this deal in 2019 and it's been sad. It's been sad. I'm like nauseous. I was laughing so on. All right. Matt Cooter. A little bit of a conclusion to the closure, I guess you could call it, to the story with L2CAM. He finally just, he just bent the knee, basically, to all of the pressure, all the feedback, all the criticism.

He issued this long three-paragraph apology saying, you know, everything I did was wrong. Basically, I thought we had a deal, but really once I won a deal wasn't a deal, which I think he's right about in a way. With that side. There is, like somebody wrote a really good tweet. I can't remember all the wording, but they basically said in this situation, the following has happened. Like,

L2, Matt Coacher did technically nothing wrong. Nothing. And like this, that, which is true. Like, he did have an agreement. He stuck by that agreement. However, his agreement was tone deaf. The way he handled it was incredibly toned deaf. The more that he handled

it, the worse it got. Him making the disparaging remark of for someone who makes $200 a day, five grand is a hell of a week was the worst comedy possibly could have made and just not just getting that and I said on last week's show that I think it's more dumb even than

not doing the right thing because of the optics. I mean, you just give the guy 50K right out of the gate. I think we all kind of came up with that number. And if you're a good guy, like that's just kind of you'd think would be the first thing that you would do.

It's like, dude, I just want $1.3 million Here's at least $50K. Like, you know, whatever. That's just what everybody's brain gravitates to is doing that. He didn't finally reversed himself, wrote the guy a check for 50K, said he was going to make a call, long overdue call, and apologize. He issued this longest statement apologizing. He was getting roasted at the tournament all weekend.

There was a guy with a Cocher. 0.038. Which I guess 5K is that percentage of 1.3 million. There was Cocher, go low. Couch, just not on the gratuity. That was a classic. That was a classic. I saw that Muppet Whitney, like, tweeted out.

Did you see that one? It was like a whole little joke. He must have got it from someone, but it was like, John Ron put down a quarter to mark his ball. And Coochard picked it up and then replaced it with a nickel. He just stole that from a meme. Whitney came up with that. I don't think he stole it because I think the joke sucks.

It does suck, but Whitney doesn't have any sort of brain to come up with that. I almost did. I responded like BuzzFeed Whitney. Is what I was going to say. It was a wild joke. It was kind of a stupid joke. Yeah. Where did he?

No, I think he had to have stolen that. I think he's too, like, too cool for school to come up with some dumb joke. You think Whitney came up with that joke, Trent? I've... Hey, Whit, did you come up on your stupid fucking John Rom joke? John Rom jokes down a quarter. He picks it up and replaces it with a nickel. Did he come up with that?

I don't know. Regardless. I'm trying to find a... Cooch. To a comment, though, I'm just picturing Cooch having to call L2Con. He just doesn't want to do it. What's said on that? phone call. Just, hey,

I have to do this, PR reasons. Here's your 50K. It's got to the worst. Worse of both worlds for him, right? 100%. You have to pay, and he had to go through all the fucking bullshit. And also worse. No, it doesn't make anything better. No. People are still going to think of this way.

The check, even if you said, if he had done this a month ago, no, it's not even a story. But now, that's the worst. That's the worst. It's ever had to give out. No doubt. It's the worst of all the worlds, because everyone still thinks he's a cheapie. But he still had to publicly be like, I'm sorry for this. It's It could not have been handled worse, and I think it's because he's dumb.

Yeah, I think the only people that are going to think that this last statement was all of a sudden puts it to rest and he's okay now, were the people that were defending Couture already, right? Like nobody that was against Couture is now going, all right, right, he did it, oh, he nailed it. Like, we're good now. No, like, if you thought he was a cheap skate, you thought he missed handle it, you thought he was disparaging in his comments at any point, this isn't going to change that. So I think the damage is done. He's always going to get chirped. We kind of gave the example that for the next, you know,

what's called the next five years, he do a master's pool, a master's draft with all your buddies. And somebody picks Kutcher 20th overall. And you're on a conference call with all your buddies doing the live draft. You think people aren't going to chime in. Oh, of course you picked the cheap guy. Yeah, every fucking time. Forever.

That's going to happen. Restor rounds. Yeah. Pirelli's. He's just, he's the cheap guy. That's just what it is. I don't think he can really get over that. So, you know, it's cool that he issued the statement.

It's cool that he paid him. He said the right stuff in the statement. I also love that he finished his round of golf, and then within five seconds, released like a three-paragraph statement. I think that's just not. Quick writer. Right.

Matt Coacher, I never thought he would be doing like a Friday afternoon news dump. Of all the people in the world, of all the athletes of everybody, Matt Coocher doing a news dump. Didn't they see that coming? It's tough, too. because I've heard, you know, a lot of people and sending emails and stuff in that he's a really good guy. Yeah.

He's really nice guy. But he just handled this thing more. I mean, they had an agreement. So it's like, the agreement was fine. If the problem is the comments he made and then just being a good guy and just in that moment, you just give him a little extra. I mean. Yeah.

And like, I just don't. The comments, what were killed him. I don't lose sleep over it. Can't say that. Oh, he did. Your blog title all time. Yeah. Yeah.

I think we got got clicks on that. What was the blog title? Oh. I mean, it was nothing crazy, but I got it. It just phrased like everything that was going on, you just put it perfectly into a headline that summed the whole thing up and made it made Matt Cocher look like the biggest dickhead that's ever walked. Matt Cochardt only giving Caddy 5,000 after winning $1.3 million, quote, I don't lose sleep over it. That's tough. Yeah, that's tough.

You buried him in. I did. Which is a great headline. I mean, that's what we're here to do. We're here to write good headline. Great picture, too. Oh, yeah. Go read the blood.

Yeah, please go read it. It was great. So that's kind of the, that's the Coutcher update. That was the big story, kind of took over the golf world for the last week. People were all over. They kind of broke through, I guess, the golf sphere and into all the other worlds where people were talking about it. So I guess it's come to a, it's reached some closure, reached a conclusion, come to a conclusion. I'm glad it happened.

You know, it's good to know who people really are. Matt Coocher is kind of like we didn't really know how to feel about him. He's kind of the dad, the Skechers guy. And now he's got a little weirdness to him. Yeah, the interaction between himself and El Tucon, that's over, but it's going to live forever. Don't think it's just kind of being the villain. Yeah. I mean, if he's the villain, he doesn't, you don't issue an apology.

He was the villain until that final thing. No doubt about it. He was like a shooting Rick Ammon. I don't lose sleep over it. He doubled down, he tripled down. I don't lose sleep over it is. That's an outrageous comment. Ridiculous.

Who is advising him? Oh, man. It's crazy. Just absolutely ridiculous. That's it. That's pretty much all I got. I had this big plan to call this. the State of the Union podcast because

Is it because it's President's Day? Well, there was the State of Union was like a week or so ago. It's President's Day. We're kind of adding lurch, I think. Like I wanted to kind of say he's going to be on the shirt. You got to get so sneaky by the way. A lot of people.

Yeah, we'll do that. We'll figure out my name. I don't know how to contact. You know what? Make an account. He doesn't really do social media. You don't do social media. Well, I do it.

Very ranger smug of you. That's just an outrageous grasp for like helping. That was a great. That was a great. First place. No. Different topic. But yeah, I do it.

But not in a way. Anyways. So my plan, I was going to do the state of the union. What I was going to do was going to talk about stadium. We're adding lurch. State of, I was going to do state of Tigers game. State of pace of play. State.

I was going to kind of introduce everything that way. We didn't do any of that. I just forgot. We didn't do a single part of that. It's kind of be a theme. I was going to do like a little bit. Buffet a bit. Buffet a bit.

I think the headlines should. I think that. the title of this episode should be like a KFC radio. Would you, would you get $1 million to be woken up by a bucket of water every morning? KFC would just message us be like, dude, what are you doing? Swerving into my lane here. KFC's next episode is like, is Tiger over his peak? So that was kind of my whole big plan.

I was going to, the state of the new caddy podcast is like different stuff. The worst execution. It's done. Now we're done. and I got to go back to my apartment. Hopefully it's not on fire. I got to tell you guys a quick story before we go on. I'm never going to do that.

Yeah, you want to do a load? I think what's going on in my room could be almost worse. I mean, maybe not as worse as five hours of 24 minutes. So I'm on this fucking road trip since it feels like last year I haven't been in my apartment. I went to the fucking Super Bowl. We came back. I went on like a ski trip that weekend. The next weekend when we came back, then I went to fucking Teladena.

Not to Teladay. Where was I just at Daytona? Daytona. So I'm on my way back. I'm at the airport. last night and my buddy texts me. Oh, here's another thing I'm going to ask you guys. I live with three guys and my three, like, best friends.

And when I leave for an extended period of time, I lock my door. Did we talk about this? Best friends, locked door? I lock every time you're on the show. Have we done this on this show? Something about locked doors? Yeah, we've done it once? All right, well, did we think it was like weird or no?

No, we said it was normal. Good, because you don't want the guy sleeping. That's right. Stinky Steve, sleeping. I talked about this as I was locking my door last time leaving for this trip. All right, so we already got that by. Yeah, we talked about. I said I was kind of 50-50 on it, but I don't lock this door because I don't want them, like, having people sleeping over in my room and shit.

I just don't want it. And so last night I get a text message, and I can't wait to get back to my room. I just haven't. I mean, Siri to come up with that, Colin, in that spot is unbelievable. I mean, Siri just said, I don't understand. Out of my pocket. What the fuck just happened? Not a great story, I guess.

I don't know. She doesn't understand why you're telling this again. I don't even have a button on my phone. All right. That's going to do it. It's been a good week from me. I don't have a button on my... This is one of those iPhone X's.

How do the hell did Siri pop up? That's not a side you're telling a terrible story. Yeah. Yeah. It gets better. A story you're almost, you're trying to tell twice. Siri, who's not even a person, got so upset in your pocket. She said, I don't... I'm so rattled right now.

Siri just bodied me. Siri goes, I'm not sure I understand. Tell me the audio picked that up. I hope so. That was incredible. That was insane. Confirm. So, anyway, I'm trying to get home.

I haven't slept in my fucking bed in two and a half years. And my friend goes, hey, Frank. he goes, Frankie, where is the key to your room? We just heard a massive bang coming out of your room. That's the way he worded it. He goes, we're freaking out. And I'm like, on the, I'm on the fucking plane about to take off. I'm like, holy shit.

I'm like, I said, it's right on top of this mirror in the bathroom, unbelievable spot. It just is enough to hold. It's just enough the width enough to hold the key. It's an unbelievable spot. You would never know a key. Top of the door frame, top of the mirror. Top of the mirror. and so all of a sudden they didn't text me back for 10 minutes

I'm like well you just can't do that what's going on in my room they send me this picture apparently so I have this artwork in my room and it's all it's all these different like people musicians and stuff and there's this one it's Dave Grohl and he is in the shape of the words what if I say I'm not like the others from song one of their songs and it's an awesome piece of artwork and it's held up by magnets so the magnets go up on the wall and you can basically like replace the artwork

at any time you want. Like the magnets are stuck to the wall. It's really cool, like, like, edgy way of fucking hanging up artwork. And I was like, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to art the shit out of this wall. And it's working great. Apparently, one of these things fell off,

and the magnet stuck to an outlet, and the outlet exploded in my room. When I talk, they said it sounded like an AK-47 went off in my room. And they sent me this picture, which I guess, like, we can, like, I don't know if we can ever use it or whatever. I don't even care if anyone fucking cares about the story. I'm just saying shit now.

But look at this. this fucking outlet. It caught on fire. They said like a fire was happening in my room. Holy shit. I'm sure there was a little flame there. So now imagine that happens if I'm like sleeping. If I'm just like,

if I'm just like, if I'm just like a bang and just like fire just going off, like just out of my outlet. And they said that it's shot all the stuff that was plugged into it out like 10 feet, just like went across the room. It's waking up by water. You'll be safe.

So this is what I have to go home to now. Now I'm afraid to plug shit in and if it's been fixed. Oh, yeah. The whole room. The whole room now. The whole room now. I have to do with them. I have to go home to this shit.

Well, that's on you. You got weird magnet shit going on. What are the odds of magnet sticks to a fucking outlet? That is. That's like the one thing you can't, like, put in your own. I'm not a big, you know, physics guy, but that's, I feel like that's tough break. One to a trillion. Like, how far?

Did the magnet, like, zoom from across the room? I guess so. I guess so. The wording they used, they said it was a massive bang. They're all sitting in their rooms and they just heard they go, boom. I have this image of, like, the mag. Like your magnets being on the other side of the room, and, like, the connection between them are so strong. It just zooms over.

All right. All right. We're done here. We'll be back on Thursday. Two shows a week. That was my State of the Union podcast that, you know, whatever. We're going to try again Thursday. Hit it hard.

Hit it hard. I sweat so much.