Fore Play - Math Isn’t Real

Episode Date: August 5, 2021

Is the complicated math you learn in school the least relevant subject matter known to man? Did technology render math problem-solving completely useless? We discuss this and much more. Will the women’s Olympics get cut to 54 holes due to extreme heat? Is Frankie a full-on character guy now after his Jersey Shore performance at Borrelli’s? Do we like the PGA Tour x European Tour alliance? Which restaurant has the best cheeseburger? Can Dave Portnoy actually beat Brooks Koepka? This and much more.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/foreplaypod

Hey, 4Play listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Foreplay, Obserway, Barstool Sports, brought to you by our very good friends at Owens Mixers, Best Mixer Company in the history of the world. They reinvented, re-revolutionize the mixer game. And then we made Transfusion, which is really good. You should try that. We're not a morning podcast. Let's just get that out of the way.

It's the morning time. And we just don't, I don't know, we don't fire at all cylinders until the PM. We're more of an afternoon podcast. But sometimes scheduling gets in the way. And it's the morning time. And I'm looking at everybody's face. And nobody's got anything behind those fucking eyes right now. And we're just not a morning podcast.

It is the eyes. Everybody's eyes are just barely open. Because all of these eyes have probably been open for less than 35 minutes, I would guess. It's true. It's true. But Owens is great. I was drinking there the other night when I was, watching The Bachelorette when I left the podcast early.

And it looked like you guys went for another 30 minutes. I was looking at the time. And then Frankie came out and I thought that maybe he was just like in the back doing something else. He was like, dude, we went on for like 30 more minutes. We talked about where Riggs has been playing. We talked about roller hockey, the whole thing. But I was drinking the ginger beer in line.

We got a bunch of that at the office. And I was just putting those back watching The Bachelorette. Owens is just the greatest mixer in the game. There's no doubt about it. It's true. You pour it in with liquor choice. You have yourself a delicious cocktail. You can go to Amazon.

They get next day shipping. Great company. Great thing that exists. That you can just have it shipped right to your home, your place, your residence, your hotel, wherever you want. And then you go to Owensmixers.com. They got a store locator, figure out where that stuff's at, drive up to it in your car. Maybe Uber. Get it.

Pour it in with your liquor and you have an awesome cocktail. So big things to Owens Mixers. Cool logo. Donkey logo. Trent actually had to hang out. Was it Ellie, Ellie May? What was the donkey's name? Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Elwood? Elwood. Elwood. Was that it? Yep, great poll. I don't think I would have pulled that. Too early, again.

Brains are just, again, not a morning podcast. Not a hockey podcast, not a morning podcast. We're checking things off. We're supposed to do a segment where we eliminate things for the game of golf. We're eliminating characteristics that this podcast does not possess. And one of them is just being a morning podcast. Have you guys ever been a morning podcast? Have you guys ever been a morning?

people like at any point in your lives. I know, like I grew up with a couple guys that are morning people and they're just infuriating individuals. Like we used to do morning workouts for football in high school and I would come in very similar to looking how we look right now. And then there'd be other guys who were like, yeah, I've had coffee. I clean my room. Then I came here.

Now we're going to do deadless for 45 minutes. And I was like, I want to die. Never been a morning person, man. I mean, prior to working at Barstool, when I would have like the, my dad would go to work from 9 a.m. to 4 and then I would like go in from 4 to closing and like if I didn't have to do anything until 4 p.m. You can catch me in that bed until 1 o'clock if I had to. You know what I mean? Like I didn't. There was no reason for me to get out to get out. So then starting bar still right away was like Dave was like you got to be here at 9 a.m. Like which was obviously even later compared to most people in the workforce. Um, and it was just my God.

Like it was it was hard in the beginning. But I got pretty used to it. And then. now the pandemic, like we started working out of our beds, being not, like, not leaving our house. And I'm starting to slip a little bit more into like later mornings, which is not good. Like, I need to get back into a better routine. Well, your restaurant business too. You guys are, like, that's that morning.

You guys are, you start late, you finish late. You wake up late. Service industry is very late, yeah. Yeah. I, um, I would say in college, my move was if I had to get a paper done, instead of doing all-nighters, I just couldn't do that. Like, I couldn't focus at night. I ran out of focus.

I have like a certain bandwidth of focus for the day, I think. And I would get up really early because nobody else would be up. Like every, you know, all the people that didn't have to get a paper done would like go out that night. I wouldn't. I go to sleep. You know, I watch the office or something go to sleep by like 11 or 12 in college. Get up at like 5 a.m. And then from 5 a.m. to like noon crank out of paper over those like five, seven hours.

I would do that just because I do focus better usually in the morning. But now, again, being a blogger like, Games are on later, so I'm like just this, this usually you're up later kind of like tweeting about stuff or whatever. And we just don't need to be like, what happens in our world that we need to be up? It's 815 in the Midwest right now. What is happening in our four play world that I need to be awake right now? Nothing.

Nothing that I've seen so far. No. There are, there are, I remember when I first started a blog way, way back in the day, like when two people were reading it, I did it for two reasons. One was because I didn't want to ever have to dress up. I hated going to work and wearing like the the nice khakis and the button up shirt. And that like that shit drove me crazy. I always just wanted to wear like jeans or khakis in a shirt.

And the other reason is what you guys are saying. Like the blog game, some days are different and the blog game is unpredictable. But like you don't have to do anything before. Nothing's going crazy before like 8 a.m. usually. So those were those were the two big reasons. And again, we're just kind of harping on how bad it is to wake up early. And I'm sure there's people out there who are like fuck these guys. but it's just early and we're just not used to it.

That's all there is to say. That's right. Speaking of the hockey stories we were telling, I had a guy, I'm trying to find the DM right now, but a guy DM me, Trent, we were telling, you know, they, we were talking about Lurch giving up goals and, like, some of the NHLers that Lurch gave up goals too. It's funny.

And we started talking about, like, people that I scored on, and Jonathan Quick, Stanley Cup winning goalie for the Los Angeles Kings. He was their tender when they beat, the New York Raiders for you. Is that right, Frankie? That's right. Was mine where I had two goals, one big night. We beat them on home ice.

Well, a guy DM me and was like, Riggs, no joke hearing you, I'm trying to fucking find this. But he said, hearing you tell that story gave me the chills because I was visiting, potentially deciding between like Avon and another school. So I went to that game as like a potential going to go to Avon Old Farms school. I went to that game and I remember watching and having all of that unfold and how intense it was in the crowd going nuts. And it made me 100% commit and go to Avon because I was like this is the coolest environment of all time. And he's like, I literally got chills. Listen to the podcast.

I couldn't believe that you were telling that story because I remember watching that. So we're doing a little somebody should play like glory days right now and make fun of us, which is what we used to do in college, whenever somebody would start talking about their high school accomplishments. But, but yeah, we were telling stories, it was a good time. I'm sad. I missed it, honestly. Do you have any high school glory stories you want to talk about? Well, I mean, I was a halfway decent high school football player to the point where when I got this job,

one of the first things I did was go back to my high school and request from them all of my high school football tapes so I could then take them home, download them onto my laptop, and cut up a highlight tape that I then put on the internet, that now when people make fun of my athleticism, which is fair, I suppose, because I'm older now. But like during the Breaking 100 process, sometimes after the rounds that I would play, people would tweet at me being like,

this dude is the worst athlete on the planet. And sometimes I would get so, like, revved up about my high school glory days that I would tweet the high school highlight videotape at them, being like, there's an athlete in there somewhere. It's just buried under a lot of show. shit now. But like, yeah, I mean, those are my glory days right there. I watch it every once in a while, probably a couple times a month, just to remind myself that I'm, I'm a real athlete at some level.

Didn't you have like sneaky closing speed or, uh, are you a couple of sneaky interceptions or something, Trent? I was fast for a big guy. Yeah. My, I guess my glory day would be that we were playing Cedar Rapids Washington, who was our cross town rival. And it was a, I think it was a, like a six point game or a five point game. It was a weird football score game in the fourth quarter. And we were winning. We were up by five or six points. And Washington was just driving down the field. They made it all the way to the 15. And then I just picked off the pass that would have been the go-ahead touchdown. And I just took off and I sealed the game. I didn't make it all the way. That's my biggest regret maybe in life is I got the interception. And if I could take it all the way, all the way to the

house and pick six. But the guy, the quarterback, was a very good athlete. And he was a very good athlete. He caught me, but I sealed the game. That was my glory days. Hell yeah, Trin. Hell yeah. How about my dad, my dad in high school state championship for football? He played hockey and football was they literally tied the state championship game six to six because it was like a mud bowl apparently, just wash out what they played.

Both kickers missed the extra point and there weren't any bylaws for what to do in an instance of a tie. the committee like met after regulation finished up and they're just like yeah you just both win you just tied the state championship everyone's like like we want to play what are you talking about so they just tied the state championship that's that is the funny thing about high school football is that extra points are the least guaranteed thing imaginable like kickers just aren't at the level where it's a it's a sure thing college it's pretty sure NFL is i mean it was so sure in the NFL that they moved it back to try to get like a couple more misses here and there in high school football it's it's 50 50 if an extra point is going in it's crazy it makes college a little more fun too

that you get like i feel like uh oregon or somebody every year will have just they just don't have a kicker and you just never know after they score touchdown right um i want to talk about um borelli's last day how was it i saw uh Tommy smokes meal look great saw trance um just a cigar guy through and through down to his core. But tell me about Borelli's last night. I miss it. Borelli's was a scene. I don't know how it turned out to be that.

So Marty Mush has an intern that he's trying to turn Italian or teach him Italian ways if he's going to be Marty Mush's intern. Noah is his name. And Noah showed up and he stole the show. I mean, he was in an Adidas track suit, kissing my mom on the cheeks, like on either side, doing all the traditional stereotypical Italian stuff. You know, I went out there, balls to the wall, full Jersey Shore Italian.

I mean, it was, you know, it got kind of weird. Like, we all started taking it very, like, very, very seriously, sitting at the table, like, ordering, like, ridiculous things, drinking wine all night. And, yeah, it was something. Frankie transformed. Frankie transformed into a different guy. And he, like, I didn't realize, I didn't totally. know what was going on. Like on Monday at the office, there had been rumblings of like Marty Much is going to go out

to Bureli's with his intern and they're going to shoot a video. And I was like, I just want to go out there and eat dinner. So I'm going to go out there and just, you know, have a good time at a great restaurant. And then they all showed up looking like the Sopranos and I was just wearing my normal outfit. But then Frankie came out in his jumpsuit and his backwards hat and his risk-taking sunglasses. And he really, it wasn't just the outfit that he took. to it was the whole persona of like a jersey shore Italian guy to the point where we almost had to

pull him out of it. Like I thought he was going to get so lost in the sauce. You had to spin a top or something and make sure he was still there. Right. Right. He just, he loved it. And I'm actually glad that when we jumped on the Zoom this morning that he wasn't still wearing the outfit. Because at that point, I would have said he's lost and we've lost him. But Frankie, I really do think that you really enjoyed yourself last night. I did, man. I was doing this laugh every time. Like, we'd get, like, every time

something would happen, I'd just, like, stick my tongue out. Like, I had my glasses down on the tip of my nose. And, yeah, it was a, it was a weird, weird thing that came over me, but very fun night. We had Ria, we had, uh, Glennie Balls. It was in, like, a couture, like, just, like, velvet outfit. Um, it was

just fun. You're, uh, you're a big character guy. I mean, you, you have proclaimed on the show how into good acting you are. how you have a great sense for good acting. You have now, in many occasions, gone kind of all in on, like, a character. You showed up as Bubba Watson one time,

and we had, like, huge golf ass. Like, you're just kind of a sneaky character guy. Sometimes I just get carried away a little bit, buffet a bit, some people may say, but I just like to have fun, you know. We did a Italian night, and I went all in on it. So that's like, if we do another themed night, we're going to start doing this once a month, I think.

We're going to get together for a dinner at Pirelli's. And if we do another theme night, I'll go just as hard on that as well. I do want to say that I'm a cigar guy now. Shout out to Maconudos. I smoked one after I broke 100 with Frankie at Garden City Country Club. And then last night we had macanudos. That was like sort of part of the night as well, part of the video. And I just love it.

And I haven't smoked nearly enough cigars lately. I feel like I did a lot in college and a little bit in high school. just like there were cigars around I'd smoke them. I took like a decade break, it feels like, and now I'm back on them. And macanudos are great. This isn't even an ad read. They're fantastic cigars.

And any time you break them out at any occasion, it becomes a much more meaningful thing that's going on. And now I don't think I can go like another round of golf or another outdoor social function without a macanudo cigar. I really don't think that's going to happen. I just want that to be a new part of my brand. I want you to know that I'm such a cigar guy now too That last night went into my Italian little area of my brain

And I was drinking wine I was smoking cigars Then I went for a 10 o'clock roller hockey game We're not going to get crazy about this And I scored two goals I was like I was like a little like tipsy almost off Like just like Nacanos and wine And I was like I was talking to guys

I'm like hey I've had a night tonight Like I was just wearing sunglasses at 8 o'clock at night at dinner. And now I'm out here on a rollout. And I scored two goals. I scored a breakaway goal. A place was going fucking crazy. The referee told me I wouldn't find my way on the score sheet that night because he's a four-play listener. He's like, I will not be giving you any assist tonight.

Like you have to put the puck in the net. Like I will mess up the score sheet just so that you don't get the points. Ended up doing it. Pointed at him after I scored the goal. Tell him about your breakaway goal. The way you described it, you were like Charlie Conway in Mighty Ducks, the way you described it. Dude, I did a little deke right to the left and came back and fired. it right under under the goalie's blocker.

Dude, it was one of those moments where I kind of kicked the puck away. I got in a little, I basically jammed up the guy at the blue line, the defender, and then we kind of just like both like were kicking at the puck, and I kicked it forward and then tapped it, and I was on my way, and I looked up and I'm like, oh, fuck, it's just me and the goalie now for the next like five seconds, which felt like eternity. Like, I was going as hard as I could, and I'm like, I could just go flying into this guy, so the point streak stays alive, 16 games played 17 points. now. We have one to deal with.

Wow. So yeah. Well done. Fucking macanudos, man. God, they're good. On the cigar front, I think I'm becoming, and it's because of macanoono, they just make a really good product. It's not, like you said, not an area.

They just do it. They make a really good product. And yeah, they got the cigar case. They're just in my golf bag. Frankie and I think are there, too. We love cigars, but we're not naturals. Like, we still, I still think, like, I don't really know how to smoke. People tweet at me that I'm a reverse cigar smoker.

I even know what that means. But Trent, I feel like... You smoke the wrong end? It's a natural. Trent, you look like a natural. You know what you're doing. You're kind of, it's like you and the cigar are cut from the same cloth. Where when Frankie and I are doing it, it's like we're trying to be cigar guys and we are.

And McAdino makes it easier, but we're really not. Well, my dad is a huge cigar guy. And I've been watching him smoke cigars for decades. Smokes them on the golf course, smokes them on the patio at home all the time. So I feel like I've had a good. just lessen watching him over and over again. And yeah, I take naturally to the cigar, and the cigar makes everything better.

Like, I took a picture with Mr. Brelie last night. Oh, that picture, I saw that. I saw that, you didn't even like tell me you put that up. I saw that last night. I couldn't believe that photo. Dude, I know. I was so happy with how it came out. But if that's just a picture of me and Mr. Borelli without cigars,

it's still a fine picture. It's, you know, us having a good. time at his restaurant really awesome but with cigars it's a 10 out of 10 picture to the point where after frankie's reaction just now i might put that as an actual post on my instig it was a it was a stunning photo i got text messages about that photo like look at this thing and it's it's it's because it's mr birelli and it's because it's the cigars like us just having cigars it makes everything a little bit better makes everything a little bit cooler everybody's like tony soprano is a cool guy because he is he's smoking cigars my my my headphone just fell out of my head there but cigars are a very

cool thing um to just have around how'd that just pop out of your ear do you think do you have the most technology issues you think of anyone on the pot no dude no way don't you dare put me down in the cellar with lurch in terms of technology it's true it just fell out of my ear a little bit I wish it hadn't done that I was talking about how cool I am that I smoke cigars my headphone came popping out of my head. Macanudos, again, not an ad read, just an endorsement for an awesome product. Timur-May golf, that is an ad read. We could do that right now.

Look, the irons, okay, P770s I've been playing. We've talked a lot about Trent's game. Trent just broke 100, shot his career low, 95. Hit iron shots, he wouldn't believe. He looked like 2,000 Tiger Woods out there. The P-770 is talking with the caddies a lot at Aaron Hills on Monday. The P-770s that I got are so infinitely better. any other irons that have it?

I think they're underrated. People talk about the Sim 2. It is a weapon. Spider, all the best players in the world are like rocking the spider. The irons, fellas, are so good. They really are. They have this pop, this crisp, this look to them. Honestly, even the Sim 2 irons for players that are just like,

that don't play that much and want a really forgiving iron, like I got a bunch of Sim 2s in for Dave's bag to see if he wants to use those. and I was like, and he's a lefty, so I was looking at them and even looking down at the ball, the way that they made that iron, like to be able to, it feels like it's an iron that a better player would play, but you just know it has that cavity back that's going to help you get a little bit more oomph, it's going to help you if you haven't played a lot and aren't hitting it on the center of the club face, it's going to help you with that. So from beginning to end, from beginners to experience players, I mean, my goodness, have they

got you covered at a tailor made? Yeah, you go to Barstville Sports. dot com slash tailor made i'm on it right now it's got uh you can shop you know the the woods you can shop the irons putters golf balls you got the tb five uh my handicaps the lowest it's ever been in my entire life so i think that um it can't be a coincidence a quinky dink as we say gentlemen that became a tailorman athlete trent shoots the lowest row he's ever shot i'm the lowest handicapped i've ever shot it's just uh boys are playing good golf because we get the best equipment and i can't believe i don't think i mentioned it last show shout out to taylor made obviously for all the

they've done for us. The clubs are great. The balls are great. Everything's great. That graphic that they put out on Twitter the night that I broke 100 was maybe the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. I got so many people texting me and obviously tweeting me being like, what fucking world are you living in where when you accomplish something on the golf course that a monster

golf company like Taylor made tweets out, congratulations, and they make the graphic. They just get it. They understand what's going on. In the same exact, it's like, I'm trying to think of, what's the word? Like, it's the same, same format or layout as they do for the major winners or like tournament winners. They had the Rory Macaroy one where it was like return to greatness or something like that. Like it's the same exact format and they just put you in and on the bottom, it was just like broke 100. It's so good.

Think about the same guy that works on the graphics when like Moracawa wins the British Open. you know, the 149th British Open, the same guy. They're like, all right, man, Trent Ryan just shot 95. Like, get going. Like, get working here. Here's a couple pictures. The best part was it said, broke 100 with SIM 2. Again, that's just a company that understands what's going on on the internet.

Like, that got the most reaction out of anything that I posted that night. And it's like, it's just a very cool. cool thing that they did and I really really appreciate it. Dude, we were talking, I was talking with Trent yesterday about how it's amazing how many people that are like scratch golfers or guys that are like PGA pros like teaching pros at country clubs and stuff are coming up to Trent, like guys that legitimately will shoot like 68, 67 and are so over the moon like in awe that they're seeing Trent in person and that and they're so happy that he broke 100. Like he's driving around golf courses or driving around

like a town going to a restaurant and people are screaming. Congratulations on breaking 100. And it's so funny when you actually think about like what the accomplishment is. It really is an incredible accomplishment for like the average golfer. The average golfer can't break 100. That's what they say. It's like the majority

can't. It's like over what? Like 90% or something like that? A ridiculous percentage? I think I think 90, over 90% of scores that are posted in the gin handicap system. are over the score of 90. And then I was asking, actually chatting again with the caddies, Aaron Hills.

Shout to Hanky and Ian and the squad. I was asking him, what's the average score that gets posted when they caddy? And they said like probably 1.10 is the average. It's, it's, I'm telling you, man, it's really, really funny to see people go crazy. And it's just taken over the world. I just can't wait for breaking 90 now because I really, if you go back to that 95 round and we don't have to get into it again because you can shave some shots man god he made an eight and what three set you made two eights and two sevens i think it was maybe yeah so i mean my god if you turn those

into bogies you're just in the 80s yeah uh yeah that's that's the next logical step and we don't talk about it again like we said but i think that's where we're that's where we're gonna go that's just the natural i just don't think you're that far off so for anyone that's like oh i want to watch a new trend series like i want trent to break 90 but it's going to take a year like i don't think it's going to take that long. It took us what? Seven attempts to break 100? Yeah. I mean, I don't know that it's that far off to break 90. I really don't. I think with another, another trip to JT, another thing like that, I don't know that you're that far off. I would never want to see like breaking 95 because you're just going to shoot like a 92. You know what I mean? Like there's enough. Right, because I almost made,

on 18 at Garden City Country Club, I almost made that, uh, that bogey putt and I would have shot 94. Right. You're right there, man. You're right there. You made eight on one. I'm a lot. I almost made. eight on one. It's just, we got to get this thing going again because I want to see, even if you go out there and you shoot 101 or 102 your first attempt, people know that your game's right there. So it will still be like, like, if you're watching Breaking 90, you have to be like, fuck, I know he can do this, which is such a crazy place to already be. Is that makes sense? Like, you just broke 100 for the first time of your life. And I think if people watch Breaking 90 and you don't accomplish it, they're going to be like, fuck, like, he can do this. People text me about how close you are,

People were just like, they text me. They're like, dude, get them on a putting grade. I'm watching my guy Trent. Like, he just practiced putting and he could shoot 85. So it is extremely doable. Yeah, no, I agree with you guys. And we're going to do it. I think we're just, I have to, maybe once I'm done with this podcast,

I'm going to plan the next trip to go CJT and we're going to do the whole like celebratory thing. And then I think we just get right back on track and we start trying to break 90. Yep. Pop the champagne and then you're right. Train back on the track. Champagne to like body. armor. You're just like, you're right back on the grind. Riggs, you've been mentioned Aaron Hills a couple of times, and I know the Barso

Classic was there yesterday. Can we talk about the guy who went driver off the deck on the first T? He's a crazy person. I mean, he's going to be a complete psychopath. Now, I'm going to kind of walk that back because the way he described it to me made a lot of sense. So a very good player, ended up qualifying, which now we've had two crazy people. The guy that does the ninja kick before he hits a driver in St. Louis qualified. And then we had this guy who went driver off the deck. And there were even a couple of Tor pros who responded to that, a couple DMs that were just like, I couldn't do that.

How can you hit a driver off the deck? What he said was on the first hole at Aaron Hills, as we know, it's all hazard down the left side, and the left side of the fairway kicks hard towards that hazard. So you can't miss left. You can miss 100 yards right, and it's a par five, and even if you miss way right, you just lay up out of the fescue and you have a wedge in, you still might make birdie worst case par.

You miss left. It's like a Riti or a drop, best case. And all right. He said, when I hit driver off the deck, I can't go left. It's impossible. The ball cuts. No matter what, it cuts. So whenever I have to hit a ball that can't go left and I need it to cut, I go just

driver off the deck. And I was like, yeah, but this is the first tee shot of a golf tournament. Like, you're on camera. There's people everywhere. And you just hit a driver off the deck. Like, what, we watch PGA Tour pros will top. one off the deck and then throw their driver in the walk. Like, it's an impossible golf shot.

And he just ripped driver off the deck on the first tee at the Barstool Classic at Aaron Hills, U.S. open course, and he roasted a little cut down the right center. It was insane. Yeah, it's a cocky move. There's no doubt about it. You show up to a Barstall Classic, like an amateur tournament event, and you're hitting balls off the deck to, like, show how good you are. It's kind of crazy to me.

But the second thing is, like, I don't understand why. So why can't you, I don't understand the physics, behind like why it can't like go left you know what I mean like why can't he tee it up like a millimeter or an inch just to get it up because I mean he's not getting the ball on the center of the club face at all it's impossible he's not going down into the ground like the ground so he's only using the bottom like part of the driver like the ball probably went nowhere it went like two seventy down the mid right side but how's not using the center of the club face like how the fuck is this like you know what I mean like he has to tee it up a little bit

golf is a game of confidence, and that's just the shot that he has confidence in, and he knows it won't go left. I don't know if the science backs it up. It is clearly like really almost impossible to draw a driver off the deck. Same way that, like, if you just went and hit your putter down and try to like rip a draw with your putter just from the ground,

like it's impossible. It just slices to the side. So that's kind of, I guess, where it would come from. Regardless of all of that, you just can't be doing what he's doing unless you're a, crazy person. I mean, you has to be a lunatic, a serial killer who that's what he's confident in. Like, he's got to have dark skeletons in his closet in his dark, scary closet. Like, I don't know what's going on with that guy because to get to that place and to do that in that moment

and that pull it off. Like, he's a cold-blooded killer that guy. Also, like, I wrote, like, this guy's so cocky and I got so many messages being like, well, it takes away the left. I do this all the time. It's like, all right, dude, like, what time do you play on Sunday on CBS? Let me check. Like, send me what day you play in the PGA Tour and I will watch you. It's like, come on, man. You're like, it takes out the left. Like, we're playing at the Barstool Classic here.

T up the golf ball. Come on, man. Well, like Rick said, he has legitimate tour pros responded to him being like, I couldn't even do this. And that's guys who have thought of everything or have tried everything. Those are guys that don't want to hit it left on holes that have hazard on the left. Like, Kevin Kisner sets up to a T. He does not want to hit it left on some holes.

He does not tee it off. He does not hit it off the deck with his drive. Never seen it once from him. There's many times where he steps up and he's like, I cannot hit this left. He just tees up that golf ball. So it can't be the end all be all right decision. It's just a psychotic decision.

Yeah. That's golf Twitter. Golf Twitter is the worst place. Maybe. Oh, it really is. Well, if you knew anything about the game, you'd know that that would take out the left hazard. If you knew anything about my ball sack,

I could be in your mouth. Yeah, Frankie. That was Jersey shirt right. Yeah, dude. Wear those sunglasses that. Put them back on. Fuck, man. I think they're in my car.

Oh, wow. Shit. It's not funny. Another thing I wanted to mention with the Terramade is the new transfusion, uh, TP5 golf balls that we have. Um, they're just, they're awesome. I don't know if we really talked about them on the podcast, but the transfusion logo, we got a nice, small, clean on there.

Um, one of the coolest things we've come up with is that transfusion logo. We put on a lot of stuff. Well, now we've, got it again on the golf balls is TP-5s which is the ball that we've all been playing great golfers. So do yourself a favor. Go to barstalsports.com slash tamer made you get the balls.

Check it out. We have, oh, Trent's got him right there. Look at that thing. It's a clean golf ball, man. When we use these, it's crazy when people are like, let's say you hit a drive and you're right by one of your buddies and you guys both walk up there

and he looks at the ball and he sees that logo out there. It always gets like a, ooh. It's just pops, man. The way that they were able to print these logos on these tailor-made balls, it says the ink comes out just as good as, like, the word tailor-made. It's just as poppy. Usually it almost feels like when you get logos on golf balls, sometimes it feels like it was made at like a kiosk in a mall where like it would like

fade out or something or it just doesn't have like that color pop for some reason. This thing really, really pops. Yeah, they're great. Big fan. Dave Portnoy playing. Brooks kept coming up about a month away. I know we've talked about this in the past, but it's been probably a little while. People now are starting to buzz.

Ask us about it a lot. I've been wrong before, so I'll preface it by saying that when I would have bet my entire life. You could have literally had a gun to my temple. And if Dave Portnoye shot underpar from the tips at Shitticoke Hills with unlimited mulligans, I would have agreed beforehand that you could just pull the trigger if that happens. Well, I was wrong. He did it. However, there's just no way in my brain that watches and witnesses other human beings, Dave and Brooks Kevka playing golf, that he can defeat Brooks Kevka in my mind.

I don't think it's possible. Frankie's a team Portnoy guy. So I imagine you will hear something differently from him. And again, I'm admitting that I've been wrong. My expectations have been wrong. so Dave has proved me wrong many times, but I think he's going to get absolutely curb-stombed by Brooks' captained on the golf course. You've been wrong and you will be wrong again.

I mean, Dave Portnoy, has he ever lost anything in his life in 20 years of being in the public eye starting barstool sports against all odds as a newspaper? Then he comes in, he brings it as a website. Then he goes in and brings it to New York and he just takes over the world. Then he goes into the stock exchange and takes over the stock exchange. Everything this guy touches turns into gold. You're telling me that an 18-hole round of golf against a guy who's playing opposite hand is not going to be a walk in the park for Dave Portnoy.

This guy will mentally disable Brooks Keppka. Brooks Kevka has proven to get rattled at every single step. Whenever something comes out, he's like saying that like, oh, like Bryson this, Bryson, I can't stop thinking about Bryson. Well, that's going to be Dave Portnoy. Every step he takes on that golf course, Dave Portnoy, who is a master, mind at the mental game will defeat him in every aspect of that golf match. Dave is not a practiser. Dave sucks at golf. So unless he...

He's shot four under at Shinnecock Hills. 300 Mulligans. He doesn't play the golf ball in real time against one of the best golfers in the world. He's what you are right. You are right, Riggs, where there, I understand fully what you're saying. But then there is that part in the back of my mind and in the back of your mind where I've never met a guy who is better at not getting himself in situations where he won't lose. Like he is very confident in all the abilities that he has and he knows the abilities that he has.

Now this one feels like we're getting into pretty deep water, I will say. Like watching Brooks swing a club lefty, we haven't seen a ton of it, but we watched him pipe that drive. And if he can just sort of like dink and dunk and get that ball. in the hole after he pipes it like 260, 270, 280, it's going to be a tough, it's going to be a tough road for Dave. But again, like I said, there's always that part in the back of your mind where it's like, maybe he just like figures it out somehow, maybe.

Also the Brooks video, how do we know that wasn't attempt number 40 that just like the only one that went on Twitter? You know what I mean? Like, like this guy is not a left hand golf. But even Dave's attempt number 40, he can't do that. But he did at Chinatcock. His attempt number 40 was like a pipe right down the... He didn't hit it 300.

yards. No, you hit it longer. You end up in longer, worse stuff when you hit it right and left. I mean, Brooks is going to be all over the place. He's going to find himself in just as much shit as Dave is going to find himself in. He's literally hitting opposite-handed. He's going to make big numbers. Dave will just play his game.

I'm not worried. See, here's the thing. I'm not worried about Brooks. Like, as Dave's caddy, we're just getting Dave to a number. Like, Brooks is going to have blowups. He's going to shoot a higher number than people think. Dave just has to play his game. I'm not worried about Brooks Kepka playing lefty.

I mean, there's no, there's no worry in my mind. I swear to God on that, too. When we're out there in that match, I will not be thinking about Brooks Kepka being out there as some sort of intimidating factor that we're facing. He's playing left-handed. He just knows how to get a ball into a hole well. I'm really good at it.

Right-handed. And I know that. I get that he's not a left-handed human being. I don't think there's, any way on earth that Dave Portnoy can win this match. I just don't see it. I don't. My brain can't get there. And again,

he, I'm almost shocked that the match is happening because of everything that's being said, which is the man does not get himself into situations that he can't and won't win. He's almost never done it, like ever. And I think this again, feels like Shinnickok

all over again except more of a lock. Is there any chance that... Shinnahawk. It's a interlocked. That's what we're called. Is there any chance that like Brooks is just way worse lefty than we think? Like we also have a jaded perspective because, well, one, we saw the drive, which Frankie is right that we don't know which attempt that was. And then the other thing that we've seen is we've watched Dustin Johnson play lefty,

which was absolutely absurd, where he was so good lefty that like I almost wanted to throw up when we were watching it. But like, who's to say that Brooks is as good. lefty as Dustin is lefty. So I think we're like a little skewed in that perspective because I'm just, it'd be pretty incredible if Brooks goes out there and starts playing lefty and he is just way more dog shit than we realize. I don't think that's going to happen, but it's possible.

Frankie, what's your, what's your target score? Like what do you realistically, as Dave Portnoy's caddy, what do you think you could caddy him around the golf course too? I think our first goal is to just get double digits, get under. 100. Okay. All right. Like, I think if we can get,

like a night, if we can get like a, if we can get into the 90s and, and we can like rattle some at the end, like really play the course smart and shoot like a 92 or 93, I think we have, I think we have that in the bag. I think Brooks Kefka is going to fly the ball

all over the place on that golf course. I think he's going to be all over the place. Now we may have gotten, I think he took like 50 attempts at that drive. I think they go like 400 yards left and right. Like he swings as hard as he can and he never gets it down the middle. What if he shows up and he does what Dustin Johnson did to the four-play golf team where he pulls like a four-iron on one and just hits it like two, you know,

220 in play in play and is like, oh yeah, you need to be in play all day. Then I, what's your, you panic? You're going to melt down? Then like Dave has to just be in play all day. Like I'm not worried about Brooks Kepka. I'm not like Brooks Kepka's not this like scary. Who's not worried about Brooks Kepka? I'm not worried about Brooks Kepka.

Dave Portnoy is my guy who's going to just go out and win the match. Like Brooks Kepka to me is like nothing on the golf court. Like I don't know. He's just like, I don't know. I'm just not nervous. It's not fucking Tiger Woods out there. It's just Brooks Kepka playing the lefty. He defeated Tiger Woods at the championship.

Right-handed. This is like Ryan Kepka. I don't even know who this guy is. Like this is not Brooke. Skepka. This is just, it's a guy who's never played golf before, literally. Never played a full round of golf. Well, yeah, he hasn't really showed his cards either in terms of how much he's been practicing,

if at all, lefty. The person that we are playing has never played a full round of golf before. That's the, I know what you're saying. I do too, yeah. Like, he knows, like, how balls roll out and breaks on greens, like, because he has played golf before. So does Dave. Dave. Dave knows that balls roll.

Come on. We'll be interested to see. We have to start getting practices, and we were supposed to go today, and rain is really starting to fuck us. It's just crazy that two days of rain are coming on two practice days for us. Are you the only caddy? Is it going to be like the whole squad?

Well, Dave, like, has tweeted, and I think made contact with Bryson before, but then Bryson maybe now hasn't fully agreed to be on the team or on the bag. So, I mean, that's also just Bryce and Deschambeau. That's just Bryce in life where he's just going to be all over the place. Would be outrageous. It would be the biggest story and maybe golf history if Bryce and Deschambo carried the bag for Dave to beat Brooks.

Like, I don't know. That's bigger than them getting paired up like in an actual match on the PGA tour. Like if he shows up to like a spit out of spite to like beat him in this like charity match, it would be outrageous. It'd be 1,000 times more interesting if he came to this event than them being paired up at a golf tournament. Because at a golf tournament, things are pretty like, all right, we know what's going to happen, you guys are going to play, you guys are barely going to interact. At this thing, we would, like, the barstool effect would make them butt heads and it would be a crazy fucking scene. Get your pip up, Bryson. Learn how to play the game.

You want to get in the mix? This is the mix. You want to grow your brand. YouTube page, all of your stuff. You want people to start liking you. This is what we're talking about. This is how you take it by the balls. You win. If Bryson D. Chambos shows up to that match, he wins the Brooks Bryson match, like the fight that they're having. He wins it. Think about it. If he does this, he immediately gets Dave Portnoy as an ally on the internet. Also, everyone watching him would just love him. Like everyone would be like, this is the greatest move I've ever seen someone in a debate, in an argument, in a fight, in a rivalry ever make.

Do you imagine him just standing there on a approach shop being like, all right, Dave, it's 137 to the pin. Here's what I really like. If he was as invested in that as he was in Frankie's chipping at the PGA at Bethpage Black, like, and he wasn't just being a dork, he wasn't even trying to make it about him. if he's just like, just the whole day doing his best caddy effort for Dave Portnoy, it would be the best thing for his image. I think he's ever done. Yep. Bar none.

We almost have to go on like a campaign to get this guy to do it. Like, where make, it's like, where is his PR team? Where is Bryson's team with everything that this guy has gone through this year? All the bad stuff that's come out about like his personality and his caddy problems and all this stuff. Like, where? is his team when he has a layup, a hand-wrapped gift basket from Dave Portnoy to come there and be on his team against Brooks Kepka to finally squash the beef? Probably at the end of the day they become like friends or like they end up on the 18th green like dapping each other up being like that was fun, funny. We made good content.

The video's going to be outrageous. Where is Bryson's team at this moment that we are handing him a fucking free. get out of jail free card right now. We're handing Bryson Deschambeau a get out of jail free card and he won't take it right now. That's crazy to me. Do it, Bryson. Do it. I'm curious to see your guy's chemistry, Frankie, as...

I would love it. He would become a team Portland guy with some pretty notable names. I would start spraying fucking Dave's golf balls to see how they'll react to the morning doing shit. I'll do everything I have to do. I'll bring the protractors, the pro tracers, everything I need to bring out into that. golf course I will bring. I'll wear a fucking lab coat. Like, I'll go 100 miles an hour for Bryson Deschambeau if he comes on our team. All right. I hope it happens, clearly. I think the whole golf world does.

So do it, Bryson. Just do yourself, do us, do the whole golf world in favor show up. Trent's been grinding to break 100. As we know, trifecta nutrition has been there for the support. Some are saying that it's been the fuel behind Trent posting personal record, 95, which has the golf world by, you know, buzzing, going crazy, begging for more, begging for a break in 90 series, then a break in 80, and then a break in 70, and then a break in 70, and then trench just on tour. For golfers out there trying to hit their next milestone,

you need to try trifecta nutrition. Everyone knows golf takes time. So does cooking with trifecta nutrition. You can spend more time on the golf course, practicing, grinding, just like we're talking about right now, with Dave and less time in the kitchen, cooking while still enjoying amazing and healthy meals. Again, it's very convenient.

They've got, you know, meals that are both, if you want to be a little bit more stringent on yourself, a little bit more strict. They've got some more basic meals. And they also have chefs that they work with that work for them, with them, forfection nutrition, that have created delicious meals that are also very healthy. So they got a lot of good choices. Fresher food, farm to fork supply chain, as they say, which we like. Never frozen, organic produce. No waste of time cooking or cleaning. you just heat, you get healthy, you get full, you're not wasting all kinds of time.

You can get 40% off when you shop meal plans with code 4 at trifectadnutrition.com. Again, you get 40% off shop meal plans, code 4, F-O-R-E at trifectadnutrition.com. This stuff really is fantastic. It's great. I'm not a big chef guy when I come home. I'm so tired. I don't want to be cooking up meals. I don't want to have to go there, get all the stuff from the grocery store, get everything going,

the pans, the oils, the sauce. all that stuff. I don't even know what I'm doing half the time. I'm so tired. I just want to go home. I want to eat quick and then I want to watch TV or watch a movie. Trifecta has you covered. Everything's right there in a little packet.

You just throw it in the microwave. Do whatever you got to do. It's over. It's over. You're eating within minutes. I really don't think the ability to cook is within my grasp. Like I don't think I have the makeup for it. Just like, just like I will, you know, some people aren't good at math.

Some people aren't good at science. I don't have the ability to cook. I just don't know what I'm doing in there. And trifecta meals, they solve the entire thing. You just heat it up and you eat it and it's done. I don't have to waste my time being bad at cooking. Are you good at any of those things that you just rattled off? Are you good at math, science, or cooking?

No. The way you said those, you're like, you know, some people are good of math, they're good at science. I'm not good at cooking. I don't know that you're good at any of those things. You know, some people can't read, they can't write. There you go. They can't do science. Yeah, no, I was okay in school.

I wasn't great in school. And that also, you know, carried over to cooking. I can't do that either. I can't do anything. Those two subjects were my far, by far my worst. Reading and writing? Oh, math and science. No, math and science.

All of them? Just all of the subjects? No, I was, I actually took a liking to history. I enjoyed history. I used to do very well in history. I used to love, you know, talk about the ancient Greek. History is just like a story. Ancient Greeks.

Yeah, I mean, I used to love that shit. Dude, I failed so hard out of chemistry. Like, I think I failed as hard as you can possibly fail at a chemistry. When they started throwing, like, equations and all that shit, not, like, math was okay. Like, I could get by in math and algebra and whatever. Chemistry, they just shoot me into the sun. Dude, how about when math got to a point where you had to, like, prove shit? Well, that's my, when I really-

Like, letters? They were like, letters? letters you had to, you had to like prove and solve. And then, and then calculus is based on determining, like, the area that doesn't even really exist. You can't even like get to that you, it's like, what are we doing here? What happened to like two plus two?

What are we doing? And like, it's all fine and good if you want to teach me something that I'm eventually going to have to use. I don't know when I'm going to like put that actual like into practice. Like I understand engineers probably need that type of stuff, you know, astronauts, because all these people who are much smarter than I probably have to end up using these things.

But I'm just like a dumpy blogger. I don't need to, you know, figure out something with a hardcore equation. Also, you know who got screwed by math? I'm sorry, screwed by technology is math. Like math, the minute we all just have, Hey, buddy. The best calculator in the world in my pocket at all times.

What are you doing, long division? Like, what are you talking about? Oh, what's 80? 8,000 times 200. Like, oh, I just got the answer right here. I don't need to be. Good job, Tret. Good thing you took all those fucking decades of math classes.

I thought you're going to write boobs on the calculator. That would have been good. I wish I had done that. Dude, when I really checked out and never came back was when I realized that the only people that were going to be using, the things that we were using were eventual math teachers to then teach people. It was a never-ending cycle. and I actually used to say that to the teachers

and it got them very angry. Like I'd say like you're making this up to the point where I don't need to know any of this at all. And I understand like what you're saying, Trent, at some point, like they have to do it

because if people take a liking to it, then they move on to things in which that will be a part of their life. Engineers, I mean, even like breweries, like brewers use like math when it comes to like how much like hops they're going to put in or that's like it's all math.

mathematics, but like you end up learning that in like your own specialized schooling, right? And I get you have to start someone somewhere to see if they like it. And then they go on their path and then they take more classes and it goes on and on and on and on. My point is just like, I already chose my path and it wasn't going to be math. All right? Like at a very early age, I realized I did not like it? And at some point, if we're doing things, like, did you guys have like new math? Or was that, was that when I was in school? Like, at one point they just introduced like new math. And there was like new ways to solve problems. And if you did it the old way, you actually got the answer wrong, even if the answer was

correct. If you didn't do the equation, the exact, if you didn't do, show your work, show your work. You didn't do the operation exactly the way that they wanted to, but you ended up with the correct answer, you'd get it wrong. And I would get so mad and be like, what's the answer, Miss Green? And they'd say, it's 25. I'd say, well, what did I write? Say 25, but you didn't take the right way to get there.

So you actually got half point. I'd say, that's not. that's not fucking possible that's not fucking possible I got the answer you asked a question I answered it so that's when I was just out on math man science I get science is something

that you need to know it's what's happening in the world history you got to know your history you got to know all these things you gotta know how to read you got to know how to write you should be able to like read books and fucking Shakespeare math is made up a lot of math is made up it's just made up it's made up by fucking mathematicians

who then teach you hated math so much who then teach other people who are then going to teach other people who are then going to teach other people. It's a never-ending cycle of them sucking their own assholes. We started this being like,

man, everybody's so tired, we don't know what's going on, and then just a smash cut to Frankie going, math is made up. A lot of it is. A lot of school math is made up. Like, there's nothing made up.

What do you mean made up? It's just like, it's like the shit that you're saying where it's just like, like prove that this is this. That's just a made-up question to make us think. There's no actual like, there's no reasoning for us to be learning that. And then when you get the question wrong, it's like, who the fuck cares? Okay, that, all right,

now I feel like you're going a little too far on. No, I'm not. You would said science is understanding the world, right? And that's correct. And math is also like a measurement of it. Like you're, you can't really pull those two and say that one is important and one isn't. Science is explaining it. Well, there's a threshold, I said. There's a threshold of like where we, like we've lost math at some point, especially in high school math. We're like, like, I would spend my day working on problems that, that were so outrageous. We're like the answer, like what Riggs was saying is before, isn't even like an answer. It would be like, it was like a hypothesis on what we thought the answer would be. And I'd be like, what are we, this is actually nothing. Like,

what we're doing right now is, there's just numbers on the board and we're trying to solve a problem that you made up. Right. I agree with, with you there that. What you're attempting to do, hopefully, is like sparking a Neil de Gras-Tyson mind where he's like, oh, I like that. And now I'm going to take that. Or like a Stephen Hawking or a Will Hunting, who is definitely a real person. Like if you spark those minds, then they go on to do it. I'm just saying that I'm an idiot and I'm dumb and that stuff confuses me. You're just like getting canceled by math people right now.

Fuck math people. I fucking hate math. Look, I'm just saying I'm with Trent. I think we were kind of busted mass balls a little bit. and then you threw a trident through math's heart. And we're kind of like, all right, well, that escalated, man. Like, just chill out. I don't hate the basis of math.

I actually enjoy being able to work out real problems. Like, if you have an equation that, like, means something where you need to find out, like, what goes into this? How do we get to this? But when they started just making up questions and making up things to fuck with our brains, to see, like, our critical thinking and, like, could we find our way out of this problem that we made up, I don't like that shit. It took up way too much of my time in my life.

It's hard to tell that. We're talking about, like, cutting the grass, and I think math that we can do, clearly not this tough math, is a similar satisfaction. Like, when you do a math problem and you get to the answer and you did it correctly, it's very satisfying.

But, like Frankie's saying, when they start, like, solve for this, and then you got to prove that. You got to do, like, five pages, to solve a math problem that, like you said, that dork in goodwill hunting is the only person that cares about these math equations. Like nobody doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything.

And now, sparking minds great so that they could do their math stuff and maybe we, you know, can find quicker ways to utilize. Cool, great. And math, like coding and all that is like math. So we got to have that shit. But for us, we will never, ever, ever need any math beyond what we learned and what we learned in what second grade maybe i agree you know what they should do and this may be my best point is teach kids how to fucking do their own finances in like middle school and high school teach them how to

write a check teach them how to like invest their money how to get a loan how to uh like rates from the fucking bank like that's stuff that we just get put out into the world and they're just like do all this stuff yeah go get a job like like like learn how to like like there's literally people now that get paid to help us idiots on how to like finance our own money. Isn't that like the most important thing as a human to be able to like finance yourself and like learn how to...

When I graduated high school, I don't even know if I knew how to write a fucking check. Like I was just like an idiot when it came to that stuff. Like real world shit. When you write the and like zero zero over a hundred, you're like you're kind of like looking around. How'd you do it?

Would you write it right here? Right. It's like everyone's still second guess. themselves when they write a check. Like those two lines on the bottom, like, is one of them for a date or is it like, I don't know. Memo? What am I? Do I know how to get alone?

No. Can I find out the surface area of this room? Yes. Yeah. I don't get it. Dude, you know what else I really don't get? I was watching that, um, the edge of all we know or something like that's about black holes on Netflix.

It's a fucking nightmare. Um, but because black holes are just, we just don't know anything about space. Like, but no, no. when they're trying to figure out like equations about black holes, this is where I just don't understand math. They're literally coming up with new equations, right? Like they're showing, like coming up with a new equation to me doesn't make sense. Like I guess every equation had to have been just made up at one point where they were just like,

yeah, this is what these. At some point, every equation was a new equation. These collections of symbols means this. But when they're just like, this whiteboard and they're like it's almost like will hunting they're like they're erasing things and putting in a new symbol and being like i think that might work what do you mean they like i don't understand what that means like what do you mean that might work what do you mean that symbol might work work for what you know what i mean like if you're making it up why can't just be right why can't

you just make up your own symbol what are they trying to achieve is my question i don't that about about like scientists sometimes or I we're probably talking about like theoretical physicists at this. Yes. Where they don't know. They'll tell you. They're like we don't know. And I appreciate that because most of the time you feel like math and science is like this is how it is. And if it's not like this, then you're wrong like you were saying.

But these guys, there are such on the forefront or the cutting edge of black holes or science or space that they're like, I don't know, man. I'm just trying shit. But how do they end up knowing, right? Like at the end of the documentary, they were all, like, hugging and kissing that they, like, figured out this, like, groundbreaking equation that they made up. Like, what do you talk at? Like, what do you mean? What happened there? What, what's the end solution?

Right. What did we figure out? Did, like, a asteroid, like, turn at you and smile and be like, you nailed it. Right. Right. Exactly. Like, oh, you, like, change, like, that, that thing to this and now we figured it out. I don't know, man.

Well, they, what they always say is, like, math. probably sound a fucking idiot. They say the math works. Like, if they do something right, then the math works. But I don't know what that means. We are, we have a guy who went to Harvard on this fucking show. We still sound fucking stupid. I think I'm trying to fall down.

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So if you're watching your figure a little bit, they're just perfect. They check a lot of the boxes. We love Trulie on the show. Let me tell you something. You make something in a fruit punch flavor, and I'm going to drink it. I have never not liked something that's fruit punch. Whatever it is, it's just the best flavor imaginable. Truly came out with a fruit punch truly

I'm gonna drink it Have to be crazy enough to I feel like you were nurtured on fruit punch You were just born on fruit punch We drink a lot of Hawaiian punch Yeah there it is Ooh Did you used to have a I mean every kid had this

I'm not just calling you out But did you used to have like just like the red lips Or like on the outside of the lips You'd have it on the top You know what I'm talking about Trent You drank so much fruit This is a guy who just proclaimed His love for fruit punch

Of course I've had that around my mouth like basically all of my childhood exactly you know yeah that clown like out of ring they'd be like that's just the guy that always drinks fruit punch

were you guys were you stab it in there totally flip it upside down boom like you wouldn't believe I never flipped upside down I think that was so cool

but I never did it no the kids that like would do that I think were so cool it's like it's a cocky move it's really you know you got I always went for the whole It's not cocky.

It's convenience and it's easy. Because the hole on the top, and they might have changed it now. But like, back then it was a one and a million chance that you're going to get that straw to the top. You flip it upside down. It's this big, it's a big belly under there. And you're just like, poof. Bro, when we were doing when we were doing, sorry, unboxings of Dave. It's okay, Frank.

You don't have to apologize. One of the funniest clips of unboxings was when Dave got that capriced. Sun, man. It actually may have been during a pizza review. It was a pizza review. He was doing the frozen pizzas at home and one came with the Capri Sun and he put it through the back and he couldn't see it but all the viewers could see it. Literally the straw was through the Capri Sun and sipping on it and he's like, I can't get it. And then he ended up just like squeezing the Capri Sun through it and it would just like drip out of his hands. And I think maybe he got like one ounce of Caprice on his mouth.

So funny. You got to flip it. Truly. Go drink, truly. It's very good, very delicious. PJ Tour and European Tour announce a alliance. Very funny when I saw this announcement

that they're using the word alliance. Like, that's the beginning of World War II. And these two are teaming up. They're going after, you know, the bad guys. Cool, though. I started reading about it a little bit more this morning. The Scottish Open, now title sponsored by Genesis, will be a co-sanctioned event.

This is from Golf Channel's website, leading into the Open Championship, scheduled for July 7th through 10th and a venue to be determined. The Scottish Open field will be split between both tours and offer points toward both the FedEx Cup and the race to Dubai. I actually love this because the Scottish Open

got a really good field this year, if you recall, when like JT and Rahm and all those guys were playing over there. So I do enjoy that. But this is clearly just a response to the PGL stuff, right? Yes. Totally. Has to be. Has to be.

Every move we see now from the PGA when it comes to scheduling or money is in direct response to the PGL. And there's no doubt about it. No one at the PGA can say that that is not true. They're going to figure out every single way to make these guys who are currently on the tour on their schedule as happy as possible so that they don't leave for the big bad. PGL who's going to pay them a billion dollars to go play in like these Dubai events. Oh, and I've also, by the way, you guys haven't talked about the biggest news yet, which I'm surprised by that. Yeah, we know. The John Deer Classic is no longer the week before the Open Championship.

Two weeks now, huh? It's now two weeks. Wow. So you think you're going to get a bigger, you know, bigger field here, some more top 50 players? I don't think so. Or one top 50 player? You guys, you know, you guys have been very, oh, you know. about throwing shots at me about how weak that field is.

Those days are over, my friends. It's open. This was a big, this was a big step for you, the fact that they moved this back one week. Like, we've had that in the bag that, that for the rest of our lives,

the John Deere Classic was going to be the, the butt end of the joke, the fucking ugly stepchild of the PGA tour schedule. No one was ever even going to care about it. But at the end, of the day they fucking moved that thing one week earlier and that becomes a little more enticing to some guys that want to get something on their schedule right like guys playing in the open can just play in the pga championship now i've said they can play in the i just call it the pGA championship can

play now now you're getting me going can play in the john dear classic Jesus Christ and like i've been saying the whole time i've been supportive of the tournament obviously this whole time but like I said before, like it's still, the purse is large and you can win a lot of money and you can get yourself going before the Open Championship. So this is, I mean, it's just gigantic news for the John Deere Classic and I am so, so happy and I cannot wait to see what the field looks like next year. It is. It's going to be significantly better. I hope then when they just had nobody that anybody came about in the world playing in it. So that's... We are now exposed a little bit, though, I will say, like, just playing it out of my mind.

Like, you guys are saying we were up against it because, in terms of saying what type of tournament it was, because it was the week for the open championship, and that's why it had a weak field. Now that we actually have some breathing room, we actually need to get some guys in there because if it doesn't play out that way, then I might just, like, never come back on this podcast. Yeah, you're out in the open now. You're not, you're not, you blow, your cover's gone. You're out in the open. and we were going to see what you really got. Silvas, Illinois. Come on.

Everybody. We're all going. Come on. Actually, we had guys at Aaron Hills yesterday who were raving about Deer Run said it's just phenomenal. And that the area is not as bad as people say, Trent. So things are moving. At some point, at some point, we got to shoot a video there. We got to do something.

We got to play around there. You guys, I mean, they might not welcome you guys at this. point, who knows, because you've talked so much shit about them. But at some point, we got to get out there and play around because that would be very long. That place welcomes anyone with a pulse. They will take any human that comes through there. Please give us your money, give us some attention, give us anything that you have. So you think they're going to turn us down?

Come on. That's the kind of place where like, we've talked so much shit about people. And then when we see them in person, it's always like a really awkward feeling like, like play all the time that will happen to me specifically. Man, I can only imagine walking into that clubhouse, like with those pros there and like the general manager at like Deer Run, like them all knowing exactly what, because they know what we said.

There's no denying it. We say it on every podcast, on the biggest podcast in the world. Like, I mean, it's going to happen. The biggest golf podcast out there is just absolutely shitting on this golf course in this tournament nonstop for four to five years. They know what's happening.

So I'm actually not looking forward to every. going there. Well, the difference is is that my people, the Midwesterners, we forgive. We're good people at heart. We forgive those who have wronged us. We don't forget, but we forgive. So I think they'd probably welcome you. They'd

welcome you with open arms, but you know, I guess we'll have to see. Who knows? That's what I think would happen. They'd be like really sweet and nice and we would feel like jerks. That's what I think would happen. That's the move. We guilt people into feeling like shit. Isn't there like a term or am I messing this up?

Isn't it like Midwest nice or something like that? Yeah. Isn't that what Dave was saying, but in reality, like, they just talk shit about you, like, they're really nice to you, and then they, like, talk shit about you after. Is it Midwest nice or is it, like, another part of the country nice? Well, no, I remember, like, I don't know where we were, but he said it in, like, a pizza view once, where it was, like, Midwest nice. And then someone, like, came up and was like, yeah, but the real stories that were nice to you,

to your face. And then when you turn around, we, like, want to kill you. Something like that. It was like some old lady, like, oh, go. I don't know. There's definitely Midwest nights. There's Iowa nice. Like, that's definitely...

I think it was when we were in the Midwest. Yeah. I think someone came in a... Yeah. Yeah. No. TPC deer run at some point we're going to do it. I'm down.

I'd be interested. But yeah, the alliance... I think it's a good thing. Great thing. I think it's going to be cool. There's a little bit of a tweak to the schedule. I saw, interestingly, the waste management, Phoenix Open, and the Pebble Beach are going to flip

because of the NFL season is, you know, added a game so that'll finish up later. So yeah, it's nothing too crazy, but Little Alliance, it'll be good for the European Tour players too. A lot of the guys for different parts of the world that play on the European Tour will get a few more shots because there'll be more spots now in PGA Tour events, which obviously have

bigger purses and all that. So I think it's a good thing, very cool, well done, Alliance was a funny term. The Women's Olympics. So just a couple quick scores from round one. Nellie Cora shot four under. She continues to be maybe the best player in the world. male, female, whatever.

She's just phenomenal, phenomenal at golf. She was one back after round one. And then the people's women's golfer, Danielle Kang, two under. So she's three back, I believe. And she, again, on this very show, like a week and a half ago, was just talking about how her playing in the Olympics and where she stood in the Rolex rankings for the women was making her cry a week in a week out

because of how much she wanted to play on the Olympic team. Dude, did I see before we hopped on here that they might shorten this to a 54-hole event? Because it's going to be so hot out there that it's, like, not safe for the players to be playing 18 holes a day. It's 108 degrees. The heat index was 11, and Lexi Thompson's caddy just had to bow out. He just looked at her mid-round and was like, I think I'm a ghost right now and I'm going to pass out, so I'm gone. I know that what that guy's feeling so hard. That's how I feel.

Let me get a look at Lexi Thompson's the caddy. If he looks just like me, that's going to be very funny. But when he's, yeah, like you said, he's like, I feel like a ghost out here. That's how I feel. When you're just too hot on the golf course and when you're trying to compete for something as prestigious or prestigious as a gold medal, you just like, it's tough. This guy's so hot. It's crazy.

It's like it's hot, man. It says Lexi Thompson. Caddy succumbs to intense heat. It happens. When I clicked on that, I thought he died. They're like, he succumbs. It's like, oh, man, that must have been really hot out there. But yeah, that guy looks hot.

Do you, do you, I go 50-50 on prestigious and prestigious. I go, I think every other I just change it up. I've never said prestigious. Yeah, I think I normally go prestigious. But for some reason, prestigious is easier for me to say. So I went with it there. Never even would have thought to say prestigious. Didn't even know that was an acceptable way to say it.

I don't even know why I started kind of saying it like that because the word would be prestige. It wouldn't be prestige. So I don't know why you would stay prestigious. But I've picked that up over the years just in my adventures. I don't know. Yeah. prestigious come. I can say it easier, but I'm pretty sure 99% of people say prestigious.

You know the one I struggle with is niche. As I'm about to say it, I don't. don't know if niche is the right way or like niche is the right way. You know, you have some words where like, I'm about to say something and I just don't know if that's the acceptable way to say it. I think it's niche more than niche. It's niche. I've never heard niche.

No, you'll, you combine the two. But it's niche. But it's also niche. It's also niche. Yeah. Yes. See, that is why I get confused. And then how did you say it's never, it's never, it's never.

You said niche. It's never niche. No. No. No. No. That's a hybrid of the two that are, I don't say that. I just said it sometimes creeps into my head as I'm saying niche.

That's one that I don't really, I'm not very confident in either. Like I would say if you're referring to something that's like a niche topic, that's how I would say. When would you say the niche? Like I've got a niche for that? No? No, like he's figured out. like if you're talking about like a comedian who's got a certain brand of comedy like that's his niche oh that sounded right right that sounded correct now is that like grammatically correct

to say it that is it is it no i think it's the same word it's just more pronunciation than it is but i think i don't i don't know i think that's right yeah weren't you an english major that was years ago also the difference between I was just curious. And I didn't graduate. What's the word for like, like, I just said, is that grammatically correct? What's the word?

Because that's definitely not the right term to use because it's not like glamour. What's grammatically correct for grammatically correct? No, like, for like saying, like instead of saying prestigious first prestigious, what's the word for saying, is that blank correct? It's not grammatically correct.

Is that, do you guys hear? So you're running the dishwasher or something? I got these, I swear. You guys have seen, you guys have seen, you guys have seen, Ozark, right? You know the Snells? I swear I have the Snells living next to me. An older lady, she's got like straggly hair. She sits outside. She smokes a cigarette.

And she's got all these guys coming in the back. And they're fucking digging somewhere, man. They've been digging for years. I can hear that. Hold on. Be quiet. Oh, yeah. You can just hear it. Bro, they've been digging in their backyard inside this garage for years. I don't know what's going on over there. Nothing is happening.

they're clearly like getting the house ready to like resell or something but there's no they haven't done anything on the outside it's all inside i just hear fucking pounding it's crazy dude darleen snell is low-key one of the creepiest characters in tv history that's who's living next to me bro one day i got out of my car and i was taking stuff out of my trunk and she was sitting on her stooped or smoke a cigarette in the dark i didn't see her and all i heard was she goes nice night isn't it And I was like, Darlene, I have to come over there and like, I have to like put an end to this now because I'm not going to be able to sleep. Like, what's happening? I, I ran to my door. Oh, my God. I said, oh, yeah, it's real nice out here. And it's fucking ran. That is.

I don't know what. I don't know. Like, is that pronunciationally correct or something like that? You know what I mean? Like, is there, there's no, you don't know the word. Phonatically correct? Oh, that's the one. Bang.

I knew it or something. Phenetics. That's genetically correct. Good job. Genetics. Good poll. Thank you. Whoop.

Woop is the world's most powerful fitness wearable that provides 24-7 personalized information data on your body. We can check right now. But I believe mine this morning, I check when I wake up was 44% recovery. A couple beers of local bar last night, a couple truilies with the fellas and the squad at the Barcelona Classic. But yesterday I woke up with any time you get it in the green again, it feels like a check. cheat coat. 77. 77.

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Dude, it is crazy how much alcohol affects it. I went out for the first time in like two years on Friday night, and I woke up Saturday that I was right there. I was a 20% just in the red. And I know you guys are no stranger to that. But then the next day, I just, I stayed at home and I laid down all day, did nothing. 95. Like, it's just the biggest difference you could ever imagine.

And it's just really interesting to see how the different things that you put in your body affect your recovery. Like, it really is pretty wild. Even one drink can do it. We went to, when I was in Minneapolis, we went to a place parlor burger, best burger, parlor bar with the best. burger on the planet, bar none. I'll put it up against any other burger in the planet, in the universe. In the planet? Inside the planet or on?

Yeah, in the core, in the core, wherever there may be life, this is the best burger ever made. Only because of how simple it is. There's a lot of burgers that probably taste awesome. And they're just like done up with so much shit on them, right? Like you can get bacon. You can get a fucking egg on it. Like, sure, when you're biting into it, you're like, this is a fucking burger. this burger is just meat, cheese, bun, and a fucking pickle.

And it's just, my God. I mean, Ian from the Barsoe Classic agreed. Nick Mulcahy agreed. And Brendan Jones, who's on this podcast. Brendan, how good was that parlor burger? Come on, baby. He is here to speak. Okay, there's Jake.

Okay, never mind. Well, we're looking at two orange boxes. I don't know who's here, who's not. Whatever. It's a great burger. I had a old-fashioned with it, which is like the go-to drink of choice when you're getting the parlor burger at parlor barler bar.

I only had one drink, woke up the next day, and you could just tell, like, just having one old-fashioned, I was like a 35% recovery just from having one drink. Like, it's crazy to me that it affects you that much alcohol can affect your recovery, your sleep, and your readiness for the next day. And I never would have known that if it wasn't for Wu. I've noticed a big difference in the,

the timing too. Like if you have a few drinks many hours before you go to sleep, you're in much better shape because you like, yeah, and same with eating, obviously. If you don't eat like right before you fall asleep, you know, you get much better sleep, higher quality sleep, your heart rate and your, what is, HR. HRV. Your HRV is much better. So having this kind of information is obviously helpful. You go to whoop.com. W-H-O-O-P-com, 15% off with the code for play at checkout. Frankie, your responses, when you put that, I saw your burger, I think you put it on your Instagram story, were the responses all affirmation, or did you get everybody in

different parts of the country bitching at you about how their burger is better? You got a couple people being like, prove it, which was like funny response. Like a couple of guys were just like prove it, which I don't know how to answer that. Kind of put me in a box there. I respect that. I like that. Every person that had ever been to parlor agreed that it was the best burger they've ever had, which I think speaks very highly about the burger. Bro, this place just has it done.

And this is a crazy pub for this place. But it's called Borough in Minneapolis, downtown Minneapolis, I think is the place. And then they opened up this place below them. It's almost like a speakeasy. You got to go downstairs, and it's this place called Parlor Bar. And originally it was opened, because I read all this on the menu, it was open as just a waiting room for Burrow. upstairs. So they'd go down there, they'd have couches, you can maybe get a drink, and you'd wait for your table upstairs. Then they put a burger on the menu to like, if people were hungry,

they don't want to wait for their table up there. And it ended up being the best burger people have ever had. Dude, it tastes like candy. I don't know how to explain it. It's a mixture of meat. It's not just a beef patty. It's got brisket mixed in there, and it's like a mixed beef patty. I don't know, man. I don't know. I'm thinking about it right now. You're going to make me have to go get a burger for lunch today. I have to get a burger. I have to eat a burger today. It's great.

I just have to. I can't wait to stop talking to you guys, so I'll go get a fucking burger because you've been... My mouth is watering. Just going on a burger binge here for the last five minutes. Is there anything better than biting into a nice cheeseburger? No. No. And we don't talk about it enough.

Like, cheeseburgers are kind of slept on. You know, we go hard on tacos, pizza. We go hard on, like, steaks and ribs. and like you don't just, no one ever talks about a good burger. Do you think a burger is the most ordered meal in America? It could be. It could be.

And it has to be the least talked about. Like, because it's just so ho-hum, you go to like a bar and you just get a burger, you don't talk about it. It's become the default when you can't pick something. When you can't figure out what you want, and it delivers.

It delivers all the time. Right. I think that's what I meant by Slept on. Like, we don't give it enough credit. It's just, because it's so just like, yeah, I'll get a burger. Burger and a beer and French fries. Give me some of those.

Great, like, post-golf too, man. Some aoli with the French fries, maybe, a little garlic aoli. Oh, I get a Coca-Cola. Oh, I don't fucking eat a birthday right now. But no, I really have to piss like a racehorse spot. Trent's biting his lip right now. I mean, I'm getting a burger later today for sure. Just chewing his fingers off because you started talking about him.

Looking at me like he's going to fuck me Have you guys ever seen a horse Like actually pissing? No No Dude one time I went horseback riding in like Colorado or something It's because I have to piss like a racehorse where I ever it came from

And the Porsche just like You know stop and just peed And it was a Fire hose coming out of that thing for like A minute straight The water pressure was like Higher than any shower

ever seen coming out in gallons. And I was like, holy fuck. And the guy's like, you know, the cowboy was like, that's why they say, you know, piss it like a race horse. And I was like, oh my God. Well, that's actually nice because I never really understood that reference. I use it. I've used it many times throughout the course of my life.

But I never really understood what they meant. So yeah, now imagine his horse peeing and then imagine it like a race version of that. Oh, my God. So let me, let me tell you guys about the term piss like. a racehorse. All right. Okay. Okay.

Frankie Fack time. Well, this is a nice throwback to Frankie Fax. The popular notion of incontinent racehorses seems to have roots in the late 1970s. When trainers began the widespread use of diuretics, diuretics, diuretics, like Lassix, Lasix, Fri-Semite. I mean, these are getting crazy. Lasix.

This is a Billy Madison scene. She can really bit off a little more than you can do. Lasix inhibits the absorption of sodium and draws water into the bladder. This causes the horse to excrete more fluids, which could, in theory, make a horse lighter on its feet and faster on the track. So they're giving them this thing that's going to draw more water to their bladder, make them light on the feet faster on the track. Depending on the dose, the Lasix treatment could cause a horse to move several gallons of urine within an hour,

which could translate to a quick, drop of 10 pounds from a horse's body weight before a race. Shit. 10 pounds of piss coming out of that thing? It's not against the rules to dose a race horse with Lasix, but its use is carefully regulated and abuse will result in a penalty. Wow. Wow.

It makes sense. I'm telling you, this stuff just comes out like a waterfall out of that thing. 10 pounds of piss coming out of these things before. Wow. All right, no joke, I have to pee and I have to get a cheeseburger really badly. So we're going to finish the golf podcast now. Yeah, I think that's fair. Do you guys have anything else for me?

I don't think so. I don't know, man. I just, I want to get, I don't know, I don't know. I want to get going on. Where are you going? Where are you going to go? Tell us where you want to go. I want to get going on Cheeseburger right now.

Okay. I think where I'm going to go to 90s. Good answer. I'm going to go to all of them. American Cheeseburger tonight. So shout out to All American. I think it's in Seaford or one of those towns. All American Cheeseburger and a milkshake with French fries and a nice fucking and a nice thing of ketchup. I'm going to have it in my car. It's an old school place. It's like from the 1940s and you can only go up to the front desk. You know what I had the other night? I can't believe I'd bring this up earlier. I texted Jeff D. Lo. I had a Colversberger on the way up to Aaron Hills. Your first one or no? You had a lot? No. Not my first one, but God, it's probably been five, 10 years since I've had one because it's more Midwestern.

I mean if they have them out on the Northeast, but I got a Culver's burger, man, and I didn't get anything else. I got no fries. I just got a double cheeseburger from Culver's. It was really good. What's your favorite?

And sorry to make this into a little debate because I didn't get a piss like a racehorse, but what's your favorite fast food cheeseburger? Shake shack. That's probably right. I think that's right. That shakes shack sauce, whatever it is they put on there is phenomenal.

They got a great bun. I'm going to put my, into two different categories. One, so I think, I think Shake Shack, I think five guys are in their own different category for some reason. Okay. Elite, they're like a little more quality. They're elite, they're elite quality, and I'm taking five guys as mine in that category.

When you're just going to talk about the three, the three-headed beast between Burger King, Wendy's, and McDonald's, oh, McDonald's Cheeseburger guy. I just am. There's nothing to it It's a thin fucking shitty patty I know people of Burger King guys No

I'm a Wendy's guy No Wendy's guy Dude they got the best patties Wendy's has the best patties For sure And look I love a McDonald's burger I think it's really good But the square

Wendy's you get a double patty even They usually most places they have them For like a fucking dollar You get like a double pat So I was gonna say Burger King's my That's what I was to say. I thought people were Burger King people,

but that's my least favorite. I don't even know if I've gone to a Burger King in 15 years. I like the rodeo burger from Burger King, though. That's one of my go-toes when I go there. Mine's McDonald's, Wendy's Burger King. Something about McDonald's, man, like they just have gotten me. Well, they got the best fries. Whatever chemical they have in that cheeseburger has just got,

it's just in my brain and it just owns me. I could have four. I could be skewed because I always get a chocolate frosty when I go to Wendy's. I fucking love Frosties, man. And I don't drink chocolate milkshakes ever. I'm a vanilla milkshake guy, but I'll also get a twist sometimes. I'll get a swarrow, a little vanilla and chocolate. But for some reason, I fucking love chocolate frosties.

Dude, you get a little spoon, that little plastic spoon they give you a kind of dip in there. Oh! The whole experience. How am I not going to get Wendy's tonight now? Fast food is just awesome, you know? It's so bad for us. It's really good, though. Who cares, though?

Who cares? Oh, you know what I want to do before we get off here? Here's a little what's up, Doc. Talk to me about how bad assaibals are for you. And I know I'm saying on this on a big platform, and I'm probably saying it wrong. Is it assi... Is it assi... I think you nailed that.

Asaiibo. Yeah. So, Asai bowls. I've been on a big. kick recently. Everyone's telling me it's like a fake healthy food. Number one person who's been telling me that is this fucking guy, Trent, trying to talk to me about fake healthy foods. He said, oh, it's not really healthy. It's fucking assayi, which is a super fruit from the Amazon. It's fucking berries, strawberries, and it's, uh, and it's banana. I mean, what's bad about it? It's a

guy, Dr. Sinclair said that the berries are like horrible for you. Come on, dude. No. He's like out on, but people are out on everything now. Right. That's right. Like I don't want to be... Grapes were killing us. Don't, dude, I don't want to be painted in the corner of like, oh, everything's bad. Like, even the healthy stuff is bad for you. There is a lot of sugar in asae e-bowls, and that is just a proven fact. There's a lot of fruit. Fruit has a lot of sugar and they put a lot of fruit in the assayee bowl. But what I told you and what the bottom line is, is if it's better than what you were going to eat before, then it's better for you.

Like you are a guy. We just got done jerking off about cheeseburgers on this podcast. If you eat an asaibal instead of a cheeseburger, you won. You are now a healthier person than you were before. That's it. Doesn't matter. It's all relative. But should I stop this kick on is my question?

I'm having one every day. No, I don't think so. Because it's better than the bagel. It's better than the pinini. All right. Well, my DMs are always open. And also ulnar nerve damage is what I have in my elbow. Maybe irreversible is what the doctor says.

I have a follow up on Monday. I've waited so long. I've always thought it was my shoulder. Irreversible sounds bad. I've just, here's my problem, guys. I thought my shoulder was really fucked forever, right? And I was like, this is why I have no feeling in my pinky finger and in my ring finger.

This is why my elbow hurts. This is why my forearm hurts because of my shoulder. I finally went to a specialist who went to math class, like knows all the stuff that we don't know. we've all proven for the last hour and 30 minutes. I have ulnar elbow damage, which is, which directly affects everything that's been hurting me forever. So ulnar nerve, going to be fucked forever. That's just where I'm at. So if anyone has any therapy for that and my assayee ball stuff, hit me.

I would like someone to check the records and how many minutes has been since I said I had to piss like a racehorse and how disrespectful you guys are for making me continue to talk. this off. All right, let's get out of here. Yeah, let's get out of here. All right. Hit it hard. Hit it hard.