Fore Play - Quarantine Golfing; Tiger vs Augusta; Best Golf Snacks?

Episode Date: March 24, 2020

It’s our third episode under quarantine life. How’s everyone holding up? We discuss Riggs at Pinehurst, Trent in Manhattan, Frankie on Long Island, and Lurch in Charleston. We also get into Rickie, JT, Brooks & DJ’s lefty games, and take a bunch of From The Galleries, including if you’d choose one round with Tiger at your local muni or one round at Augusta with your buddies. 2 hours. Let’s go!!!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/foreplaypod

Hey, 4Play listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Today is March 24th, 2020, and you folks are listening. We're recording on the 23rds. How's everyone? How are you guys? What's up? Days are blending in together.

The fact that yesterday was a Sunday going into a Monday was a nightmare for me. I thought there's no difference between yesterday being a weekend. Friday, Saturday, Wednesday, Tuesday. Time is nothing. I feel like I'm in the middle of Interstellar when he's in the middle of that bookshelf where he's just like, whoa, and everything.

He's like trying to hit textbooks. Can't get through. That's how I feel I am. I haven't left this room in over 48 hours. But, you know, I'm feeling good. Made the trek to Long Island, though. You're out there. Yeah, I'm back in Long Island.

I'm sitting in my childhood room. I got my Coliseum seats right now. I'm sitting in my Coliseum seats. These are the ones that I said. They're not the exact one. So I wanted to get Section 221 row AC 5 and 6, but these are section 221 row A 17 and 16. Apparently they got rid of 5 and 6,

which I was pretty bummed about. But, you know, we got them off the truck. We weren't supposed to get them. They're supposed to go to like Steiner Sports or whatever, and we took them as they were getting unloaded out of the Coliseum. So I feel good in that aspect. I like being home, not spending money on food. My mom's cooking every night, which is good.

I thought I had the Corona. I thought I had the big C. I was feeling lightheaded. I was feeling dizzy. Things were starting to, like, feel weird. I had a 99 fever. And I was like, oh, boy, this thing goes up to 100. I just jump out the window.

That's how, that's like what happens. I guess 99's really nothing. So then I woke up the next morning. I said, this is it. This is the test. I've been sleeping on it. Let's see. And it was like,

freezing. So it was fine. I feel better now. It's all mental, though. How many of you guys have like, maybe not you two rigs and larch, but Trent, have you, have you, like, convince yourself at some moments throughout this quarantine that you are absolutely having it?

100%. I'll cough. I'll, like, just a normal cough or I'll sneeze. And then it's like, do I have it? And I live with a roommate, Robbie Fox. When I sneeze, he'll look over at me and that'll convince me that I have it because if I have it, then he has it. And everyone in our building has it. It's, yes, I very much convinced myself that how, I've had it and not had it 20 times? How self-conscious are you?

have you like sneezed or coughed around somebody else? Oh. That makes me feel terrible because people who like I know look at me like, dude, how could you be outside if you're coughing at all? And then I feel terribly about it. So then it's this whole thing. But anytime I have a sore throat. So a couple things.

Yes. Like I got, I felt a little dehydrated the other day and almost ordered like a hazmat suit off of like Amazon because that's, you know, you just feel that. And then the other thing is being down in North Carolina is that like I'm afraid to tell people where I'm from because they just assume if you're from New York City that you're like infected. Yeah. I mean, the way the reports are coming out, I don't tell anybody up from like. Yeah, they're like, I'm like, oh, I came down from New York and people are like, whoa, whoa. And they kind of like, oh, that's cool. And they can tell they like start whispering to each other

and like mutter away and walk away. So it's like there's a stink on us, those of us that are from New York City or live in New York City is a serious stink on us right now. We went out, we went out grocery shopping the other day just to get, we're run out of like essentials, like toilet paper and hand soap. So we went out there. And that's when it really hit me that this, we're living in a movie. You go out there, it's dead, except when you come across a grocery store and there's a huge line out the door and you have to stand six feet apart from everyone in the line. I was just standing there. I was like, this is a horror movie. This is a horror movie 28 days later type of situation that we're living in. So scary, man. It's like you can't live regular life.

I mean, right now, we're just like, we may not be in the office for another two months at this rate. Yeah. It's just getting worse and worse. But as the days go on, every single time you turn on the TV, there's another worse report. New York's numbers are skyrocketing. But it's also because they're testing a million people, which is good. So, like, New York's testing 10,000 people a day. The next closest town is a next closest state isn't testing like even a thousand.

Dude, I didn't like, I didn't turn on the news for like a day and a half. I swear New York cases went from like 300 to 15,000 when I just. turn on the TV. I take to the point now that I know people like that are close to me that have it now. Like now it's real. Like I have friends that like live around the block from me that went out two week like a weekend ago when everyone was supposed to be quarantined. They went to a bar and they like and they just met up with some people.

It was like the first like weekend that everyone was like you have to stay in. This is starting it bad. They went out. Got it. Confirm. Can't lift their head off the pillow. 104 fever like legitimately have coronavirus tested positive. They went to Jones Beach.

Got it tested. Like their boyfriend. friend girlfriend, boom, got it. Their family probably has it. Like, it's, it's crazy. And it's like hitting, like everyone's like, oh, you just get it. You're young. You feel good.

Like, they can't get out of bed. Like, they're like, they are suffering right now. Like 104 fever, dehydrated, shitting the diarrhea all over themselves. I am not the best. I'm seeing people start to tweet now. They're like, hey, so like I thought I was young and I couldn't get it. I can get it. And then I also thought I was young and I'd be fine with it.

And they're like, I'm about to die. I can't breathe. I can't eat, I can't think, I can't get out of bed, I can't talk. So like, for whatever reason, we downplayed Corona forever. And I was clearly wrong. I think we did that on the radio for like weeks at a time. And now Corona is just, I mean, it is a movie. Like it is taking over everything to the point where, I mean, we can't do anything.

Nobody can leave their fucking house. I'm seeing two reports now. Like one country, they were like, yeah, we're shutting it down for like eight to 12 months. I was like, yeah. That is forever. Did you see the UK's like saying that they may have to have people watch like Netflix and videos in standard definition because their internet may just break like people aren't thinking about like the infrastructure.

It's not built to withstand this many people at home like streaming porn and Netflix and all these things that like high HD like I'm watching people smack powder on their assholes in like 1080 frames per second and I shouldn't be doing that on a Monday at 1 o'clock in the afternoon but I am like that's what I'm doing. So it's like they haven't, they, when they built these servers in these huge server yards and all these places in like Washington State and Oregon, they have these huge server farms. They didn't expect Johnny Be Goody to be out there smacking his dick around at one o'clock in the afternoon amongst all the other people in the world. So these things are literally going on fire. Dude, I've been, so I've been glued to like CNN.

That's been Anderson Cooper. That's like my guy. I don't know why I just think. I'm just kidding. He just gets it. I think Anderson Cooper, I look like the way he, And it runs that show, it works for me. And so I've been watching while Anderson Cooper.

One thing I've really noticed is like since everybody's Skyping in or zooming in or whatever from home is who like does a good job considering the background and like they're set and who does just a horrible job. And then you can tell when like somebody's wife clearly was like factored or the decision. I saw one guy the other day was like sitting like half in front of his fireplace. And then like like the other half was like this beautiful door with like the blinds or half open perfectly and then you see other people where it's like the fucking computers jammed up their throat you know it's like they're looking up at their head from below looks like they get the

biggest mouth in the world so like the whole skyping everybody's skyping in they're doing like even like all these channels on the news channels they're like running them from their fucking houses and apartments it's in the whole thing's insane like nobody did you have you ever seen the video of that little girl who burst into the background of her dads oh yeah she's like Hey, I'm here. He's like, what the fuck? Oh, man, it doesn't work for audio, but boy, is that one funny? How are you feeling in kind of the epicenter here?

I mean, do you have any plan? You're just, you're hungry, you and Robbie Fox, are just not moving? No, we're not moving. We're just hunkered down. I have been looking at flights, like, to maybe go somewhere, but I don't see the benefit in that. I don't think at this point we're so far down the line that me, like, hopping on a plane is a very good idea.

I think I had to make that decision, like, a week, week and a half ago. So now I'm just here. And it's so strange, my apartment, the window just sort of hovers right over second avenue. And every day it gets less and less populated to the point where now there's just no one, there's no one out there. I just picture you looking out your window and seeing no one, but just daydreaming.

I mean, I don't know what you do to pass that or like in my New York City apartment and, like there's only so much to do. Like you really can't do much. Things that I've been doing include pushups. it's it. I've been doing push-ups. I watch the fallen the Fallen movies. Olympus has fallen. London has fallen. And Angel has fallen, which are

spectacular movies with Gerard Butler and Morgan Freeman. I've been I've been, yeah, they're very... I mean, they're like shitty, interesting action movies. Okay. Like, that's really the best way to describe them. This is a guy whose favorite golfer Zach Johnson, so I mean, you know, that's like

you set the bar real low there. Yeah. If it's trash action movies, how could you not like that? It's basically like, you know, they're Fast and the Furious movies. How those are trash, but they're really good. It's probably a couple notches below that. It's still a delightful trilogy. I've been reading books.

You know, it's just, I'm going crazy. I will say. I don't like... I mean, you've been reading books. I've been reading books. What? You're sitting there, you cross in your leg. You light a little candle.

Do you lick your finger from page to page? No, I can flip them, no. I have, who does that? Brandel. Brandle definitely licks his finger page to page. That's one of the weird. I think KFC's gone on a rant about that. Like, if you need to lick your finger to touch the page,

like that is probably where the coronavirus started. Like, people licking their fingers and touching books and then, like, putting the books back. It's one of the most disgusting, grotesque things I've ever seen in human civilization. People licking their fingers. And it's also such a pretentious douchebag move. Like, nah, Shane, let me move the page. Yeah, nah, nah, nah.

And you can't just flip a page without you, like, gain traction on it? Like, come on. Yeah. Are you, like, physically disabled that your fingers don't work? only in the park. I feel like all my teachers did that. Oh, 100%. You know what I always thought?

This is a really weird thing I was picked up on, but did you ever think it was cool or like interesting when teachers would maybe have a little snack and talk? Do you ever see that? When like I always just to find it. Like a granola bar? Yeah, they'd always like, they'd always like gnaw on a granola bar and they'd always speak. They'd always continue to speak. No, like they'd just like.

And they'd make the books. They'd make the. granola bars look tasty. Like they'd always make it look like, oh, they're like cracking it open. And maybe we're looking at a slide and they'd be chewing on it. And they'd speak while they're eating, but they don't sound like they're speaking when they're eating. Weird thing I was just to pick up on and used to think it was cool. That and the way my baseball teacher used to make gloves look, my baseball coach, Chris Kuzowski.

He actually was a bartender and a waiter at Borrellys. Then he was in the Yankees minor league system. Then he was my high school baseball coach. The way that he used to make gloves look, he could show, you could throw him a raw going's glove straight from models off of the rack like one of those like rock hard plastic ones and he'd like mold this thing to the point where it was like perfectly on his palm and he'd be ready to turn double plays to the point where I think about it once a day but go on trend no what I was going to say is my spanish teacher was so addicted to cigarettes and he was such a chain smoker that he would always have skittles or m&Ms in his hand he would always have skittles or m&Ms in his hand because he couldn't go a full class without having like something in his hand he just like needed to do something He would always be crushing Skittles and M&Ms because he was like, I just want a cigarette so badly. And that's where your sugar addiction started.

You watched one of your teachers, one of your mentors, one of your mentors just crush sugar all day long. I was like, one day I want to be like that guy. Bottom line, I'm going crazy. Yeah. I think I said it last podcast, but like the ability to, I don't even have the option to go out and do something, Whether or not I would actually act on going and doing something isn't the point.

It's freedom of movement where now they're like, no, you can't go do anything. And it's making me, like, freak out a little bit. I'm just, I'm not handling it very well. It started, it made me think a little bit about, like, we had the conversation last year about how, like, when Tiger won the masters, how we thought in real time, like, we're watching something that we'll talk about for like ever in the sports world. And now it's like every single day, you, like, we are living through. something that will legitimately be talked about and studied forever. Like this is unprecedented in the history of the world, like especially the modern world with the media and how connected the world is

and how something was able to spread in legit three months from like a city in China to the entire world is like it's it's surreal knowing that you're living through something that's going to be like asked about by your kids, grandkids forever about what that was like and we're like a week into it. Yeah, and then I'm like, what was it like? I would be like, I kept doing pushups on Instagram. Like, I don't, that's like what I've been doing. That's the big thing.

I don't do push-up. I was a real cool guy. Yeah. Well, you tell us about your grandpa there, Larch. He's cool as a rocked out of the seaplane to see where the water was too dense. You love that story. I don't know why you make fun of that because that's actually. I don't make fun of it.

I don't like that you think is cool. Well, it's like a fact. I'm like into facts now. Speaking of facts. No, hold on. Too early. The master's has been postponed. The sports world is at a standstill and it seems like the whole country is under quarantine, which is what we've been discussing.

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In the world. That just scares me more because I know that it's just because we're testing more. And if other places we're testing more, and that would mean that the number would be so bad, that we literally would never leave our house. Yeah, but I think it's good that that number gets out there so that people realize, like, no. I don't know if people are making that connection.

Yeah. They're not. Like, people in Connecticut and like surrounding areas, their numbers may be like, oh, yeah, we're fine. Like, look at that. Like, it's not reaching here. It's like, no, it's actually probably just as bad there. It's just you guys aren't getting the funding.

And like, honestly, Cuomo is doing a pretty good job of like being like, no, this is what we're going to do. We're going to get a bunch of mass. We're going to get a bunch of money. Like, he's been, I don't know if it's because we're in New York and he's our guy. but like I've seen so much more from him in this state than I've seen from other states like actually getting funding and getting money and he's like making announcements about like small businesses and all that shit. He's also very like direct and articulate about it. You know?

Yeah. Like some people are kind of like they answer everything with like uncertainty and like yeah, that's obviously part of it. But he's also like, no, no, this is like what we're doing and what needs to be done. And we're going to, you know, attack the next problem once we get to it. And this and that. So I agree. I think he's been pretty good. But yeah, the testing thing too is crazy.

You know how we talked to the other show about, I think it was on this show, about the sun and stars and seeing a star in like the past. Somebody just made the comparison on TV on the news this morning that that's what testing is like with the corona. So the testing now, like people have it for weeks without knowing it and tons of people have it that never get tested. So the numbers that are coming in now of like, I think like we have 34,000 cases in the U.S., they're like, that was representative. of what the numbers were probably like two or three weeks ago. Yeah, that makes sense. I just look, actually. We're at 40,000 cases in the U.S., which is 11% of total cases, roughly 11%.

Italy is at 59,000 cases. Now they've had substantially more deaths, but that's only 16%. So like, you're wondering where like the levy breaks, you know, and it's just total. It's just everywhere. Right, right. And if you think that we're two-thirds the way of where Italy is, just in terms of total cases, it is that an early, truly, I think.

It's 2 o'clock. Cracked, I didn't even see. The only reason I saw is because this microphone has an insane red light that just shine on, glistening like a star. It was like a good car going through my screen. For the record, for the listeners, it is 1.45 p.m. It's not quite 2 yet. it's fucking quarantine life.

Come on. This is like this. Those don't apply. This is, uh, yeah, it's like when you're on Christmas vacation. Fucking start drinking at like new.

I guess. Lute image. Riggs compares Christmas vacation to coronavirus scorch. Come on. Don't headline me. Don't headline me like that. Maybe the national lampoon version where it's like fucking trees are lighting up on fire and people are coming over and fix the new post.

Yep. what a what a what a time um frankly how's beryl's doing uh doing okay i mean i think it's doing as good as it can do right now there's only so much you can really do with take out and delivery um because obviously like you know you're missing out on 200 people coming into the restaurant at a time at a given time we sit so many people but you know my dad's grinding i was making deliveries the other day um it's been good stoolies have been awesome people have been calling up it's weird because like my dad doesn't want to feel like he's like a charity like he feels almost like embarrassed by some things he's like i've been running this business for 50 years since i was 14 years old like i can get it done like

and people calling up like giving money and like buying t-shirts which is awesome and i love it and like keep doing it like i'm not going to stop you from doing that i think that's that's really awesome to like to um to back us and back the community and stuff but like i've seen him like he's super thankful but it's almost like it's just this is so much for him to handle right now where he's like he wants to pay all of his employees and all some people are taking off a work and it's real tough man it's a tough tough uh and i just don't know how long i can go on like how much longer can not just beryl's but how how much longer can small businesses uh last i mean anything right like bank like local banks and stuff like people that that get paid by the hour like bank tellers and

all these people that get paid by the hour they're just making zero dollars right now we're lucky enough to do this podcast and work a parcel we just get a salary we we get to work every day we can do it from our beds but most people are literally just like how am i going to pay rent Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I will say, I don't know that the stock that our company is doing, like, I don't know what happens on that. I don't know what the situation is on that, but nobody, I mean, nobody's like doing great. Right. I think I saw like 50% of all service workers who work in the service industry in the country, they expect to like get laid off during this whole thing, which is like, that's fucking nuts. I think they saw they expected to get to like 30% unemployment. I mean, it's going to be the great depression of my submit. You guys read that fucking thing? I'll work that one in I'll work it in. You never read my some men? I think I did at some point.

It was a long time ago though. With the big guy there. You're like Larry? You remind me of Lenny. Yeah, I've got that before. I've got that before and it's not a compliment. I'm pretty much.

Really? Not. Just like a big dummy. You're going to squeeze the rabbits. Yeah, well, that's not very nice. What's the shorter guy's name? George.

George. George and Lenny. George. I have to cough so bad right now. Oh, boy. you better not do it. I'm gonna mute my mic. Can we bleep that out like it's a curse word, please?

I just got it. Oh, bleep that out. I'm either my mic. No, we're gonna, yeah, put a big beep during that moment on the podcast. But it was actually funny making the deliveries, like going back. I was like sitting in the delivery van, like running my old routes. Like it's so, it's so, it is such a weird time. I was like, man, I feel like I'm 16 years older now.

This is insane. and like plugging in like the GPS, like, where's this house, making a $16 pizza run to like a house. A guy, like, gives you the money. And like, now I have gloves and I'm like just giving him the change back. We're standing six feet apart. But then you have another family that ordered like- Why don't you do it via Venmo or something?

Well, yeah, we've been taking just like a lot of credit cards, but like some people that complain, we only have cash. I'll just show up with just like gloves or whatever. And then we had another family order a bunch of money. And then like, I'm taking pictures with the kids. And they're like, we're standing six feet apart. They basically did a pen or, graphic picture just across the front yard.

It's so funny. That's awesome. Yeah, it's been crazy. I've been like, running into a few stooleys or whatnot, like out around the courses. And it is like, it's hard. Like people, I think like each day that goes by,

people are taking it more and more seriously. But people clearly have like a varying degree of how serious they take this. And so like it's hard when you see someone who clearly doesn't take this thing that seriously that's like hey man like great to meet you and like they come up to you like yeah let's like get a picture and you're like trying to like matrix them you know and like not let them touch you or like not let them get within five or six feet of you and you're like I'm not trying to be like rude like I had the guy I told the story I'm answering about like I had a whatever 136 p.m. like tea time and I'm just obviously going off like by myself in the afternoon.

I'm going to film and do all the bullshit and this probably like 77 year old man and his wife in a cart roll up and they're like oh you're the little. the 136, right? It was like, yeah, like, is it cool if we join you? And I was just like, no, like, that's because there's a very real chance that you'll kill them. Literally, like, I'm going to kill you. And I'm not, like, that's not funny with everything that's going on.

But like, I'm going to try to practice social distance and stay six feet away from you guys. But like, if I cough or sneeze and the wind catches it and it goes, like, you literally will die. And I'm not, like, that's not funny, but like, what are you talking about? So tell, and the guy legit was like, oh, I see how it is. and like, and, like, rode off in this little cart. I was like, man, like, I just, no, I just saved your life.

Like, what do you? It is crazy. Those buckets still exist. People, like, some people really understand it and are taking seriously. And then others still are not, which is crazy to me. I think that group is shrinking. But it's crazy to me that it's still out there that people aren't, like, completely cognizant. The fact that, like, that older couple asked you is, is ridiculous.

Like, don't put that on me. I'd have been like, go home. Get out of here. Yes. Get away from me. Put them in a hole. I will say, how is your pace of play with all the filming that you're doing? Because I commend you for the effort because you're setting up cameras,

trullies, you're getting the whole scene, and then you go hit your shot. So pace of play for one person, how long does it take you to finish 18 holes playing by yourself? So one round I played in three hours and eight minutes. And I will say I had a guy on my ass on like the third hole. So that kind of changed everything. And you feel like a real dickhead when like I walk up to the green and then I set up a fucking tripod and then I putt and then I miss the hole by 10 feet so I got to realign the tripod for the next put and all this that so it's a it's a little bit of a nightmare and it's also

i'm an idiot like jake sent me this link for like a really high quality tripod for your phone to get and i went into Best Buy and just bought some like $20 one that was a huge mistake like if it's if it's over seven mile an hour wind my tripod just blows over and it like so i set the fucking thing up i'm all ready to go and hit a put and then it just fall over it. It's like, well, fuck. So, so what I realize is it's got, it's probably got like three feet of extension on it, you know? Okay. But if I extend it and there's any wind whatsoever, I mean, the thing is a joke. It's like a flag. It just falls over and blows over. So I got to keep it real low. So you may have noticed a lot of my footage lately has been shot really low. You get that little

closer, lower center of gravity and that thing fucking hold. So, you know, you get used to it. You kind of just I keep my phone on the selfie thing the whole time. It's actually a pretty good little tool. So it's not as bad as you would think. But I did have a round too. It took like five and a half hours because it's just like it was really windy. And the thing just kept fucking falling out. I did see your highlight reel of just all those screw ups.

It was like some bad shots, just some terrible camera shots. I actually really appreciated that. You'd be like all set up the potter chip and then it just fall over. It's so frustrating because like you try to get into a rhythm too. I got like 200 bucks on the line. You're playing around to golf. You're all ready for the shot. And then phone just falls over.

And you're like, well, if I don't record it, then they're going to think I'm, like, lying. So, like, I've got to go record it. So, you know, it is what it is. Whatever. People got it worse than I do. I'm doing fine. I will say this.

You really learn, like, I've learned that my favorite part about golf is, like, playing with my friends and, like, you know, boys. And, like, you hit a shitty shot. It doesn't matter because you're like, somebody will bring you out of it. They'll crack a joke and, like, whatever. And you having a drink and all this, that. So, like, as much as, like, it's clearly better than being quarantined alone in your apartment.

It is not the same. It's very much like halfway through the round. I'm like, this is kind of like weird. Like I'm just like alone. I should have accepted playing with the old couple by now. Where's fucking, you know,

Ralph and his wife over here. Ralph and Susie, why don't you jump up here? I'll play the last nine round. So yeah. That race is probably laying in a bunker somewhere. If he's just willing to play with everyone. You kidding me?

Well, that's the thing. Yeah, there's no way Ralph's alive. right now. He was just way too willy-nilly. So I played the other day with my buddy down here, and we had a great time. We actually just played yesterday. But what's going to get exciting to me now that I've thought about it? Because like you said, bunker. So they're removing all the rakes and, you know, potentially taking the flag poles out. And if they take the flag pulls out,

playing golf and playing a part three could be the most exciting thing in the world. Because now you'll just hit a ball at the green. And usually you know right out of the game that you're not getting a haul in one. But if you hit any part of the green, you're just waiting for that ball to potentially. And if it does, you just go berserk. You got to watch it for every second. Forever. It'd be so fun. Wow. Dude, that happened at a Barstool classic in fucking Granite Links. We had like a three hour delay because of the rain. And so we finished up late at like seven o'clock, whatever. I guess, you know, like a shotgun start. Some groups finish in like six hours. Some groups finish in like four and a half. I guess a couple groups that finish really late,

the superintendent, like, didn't give a fuck that it was a golf tournament. And he just finished up his job to go home and took all the flag sticks out. So I had people coming in that were like, hey, like, we played the last two holes. And like, there were no flag sticks in the green. And it was dark. So we just hit it at like a flagless green. And I was like, yeah, you got screwed. I don't know.

That's really unlucky. Yeah. But I saw Beth page just keeping like two or three courses open, Frankie. And they're doing the whole, you know, don't touch pins, no rakes. They took all the ball washers out and whatnot. So yeah, I actually played Cherry Valley the other day. There was a couple of people out there, you know, the no-carts situation, went out with a couple people. But it was weird playing social distancing.

Like no, just like real weird. Like we all showed up to the first tee and it was just like no one like looked at each other really. It was all smirking. It was like just like what do we do here? Like how do we do this? I got a question for everybody. Maybe this guy misspoke. So we showed up.

We played this place, Dunes West. It's actually sweet. it feels like Magnolia Lane. It was outrageous. It looks sweet. The entrance looks sweet. That was the one Instagram story I thought you did a really good job. I appreciate that.

So anyways, we're taking the carts out to the first hole and the guys giving us to the spiel the whole thing. And he looks at us and he goes, remember guys, today's fairways only for the carts. Now, I've never heard that before. Fairways only. What do you want me doing donuts in the fairways? That put me into a...

Well, I've seen that before. I've seen that before. Yeah, Cherry Valley actually does that, yeah. What is that even mean? I got, like, yelled that by someone. once because I went into the roof. I guess they're trying to preserve like the thick, luscious rough, I guess.

Yeah, because the cart beats down the rough more than the fairway. Because a fairway is really cut really tight anyway. So typically they prefer you to drive down in the rough. Makes sense, I guess. You got to get, you still got to get from the cart path through the rough to the fairway. Yes.

Yeah, there's for sure that there's a little, gray area. It's not a flawless system. By the way, I want to talk about, so I played Cherry Valley, they had the cups raised. One of the funniest just like scenarios like I'm a really bad putter. I can get the ball off the tee when I'm not topping it into water at Palmetto.

I can hit my irons decent. My wedges are a nightmare. First hole at Cherry Valley, I mean the Barso Classic when that's there, it's like a 280 yard par four. And like you go either driver at the green or you take like a five iron and then a wedge. It should be a really easy hole. Five times now that I've played the front, the first hole. I've gotten perfect iron right down the middle and then wedge over these bushes onto the road. Like, like, you're nervous about hitting it onto the road off the tee shot.

And I'm like, let me just play it out safe. I'll play it out to the left. So I hit a five iron right in the middle of the ferry. Like, oh, Frankie, you got like 75 yards. I take a wedge out, blade it, and there's these trees behind the green and just goes over into someone's driveway. Nightmare. So this time I tried out to do that, chunked it, then went over. It's just a nightmare first hole.

But so I did all that in the first hole, chunked it, went over, went over. And then I'm like way off the green and I'm putting for five. And I just drill this thing towards the pin. And it just smacks the pin and comes all the way back towards me. And I'm like, bogey. And the guys I'm playing with are like, this is insane. That's an eight. That's an eight minimum because that ball's going off the back of the green into a bunker.

You're blatant out of the bunker. You're hitting seven off the green. And instead you're walking away tied on one. I love you just say bogey right out. Dude, I held up my putter. I'm like, both, I walked it in. Dude, remember the other day I said that with these new rules and it just completely takes away the break? I hit this thing 200 miles an hour at this thing.

It came back to me. And they're like, no way. So the question was, how many strokes do you think that that saves you? Because there's been a couple times in that round. I actually played really well. Like the four guys I played with, I'm not going to name names because like some of them was supposed to be inside, whatever. I didn't want to like promote it.

Yeah. We had a 76, 76, 75, and I shot an 80. I missed a put on 18. Yeah, we were just playing real good golf. Driver, fairway, up by the green, on the green. And then with this new putting system, it's like, I felt real confident just jamming these balls at the fucking pins. Like, you know, you have a four-foot putt.

You're just like, let's go for the back of the cup here. So there was a couple times, though, where, like, you have maybe a 15-foot put and someone would hit a put and it would just kiss the outside. And I'm like, well, now, there's no way that was going. in. It absolutely would have just like either went totally sideways or just like rimmed out the edge. So we were trying to figure out how many strokes do you gain like and I said probably six. Like I probably shot in 86, 87 that day. And I gained six or seven strokes by being able to hit a two and a half inch or one inch raised cup. I was going to say three aside like one every three

holes, you know? So yeah, right around six, six around. Yeah. Dude, they're doing at Pinehurst, they've got the PVC pipe. That's like I like that. I like that. Yeah, so your ball just stays like an inch, you know, part of it's above the surface of the cup and you just can peel it out real quick. So it's pretty easy. But, you know, seen a lot of different places trying different things, different practices and whatnot. I like it, though, man. I thought it was fun. And even like chipping gave you like a target to like go after like. Like, like, and we kept saying all day, just give me a piece. I just need a piece. So I would be like, I'd be 35 yards away like behind a bunker and being like just just let me get a piece. Like I can. skull this thing, just grayes this fucking pin. And I'm walking away with the three here. If you're like us, folks, you are probably trying to get in as much golf time as possible. It's a great activity right now as long as you're safe. As long as you're smart, you take a couple precautions.

You'll be good to go. One thing you definitely don't want to be dealing with while you're out there on the green is a spam call. Lucky for you, there's a solution to the growing spam call problem. It's called Robo Killer. Robo Killer is the app that stops spam calls for good. They have over 1.2 million spam phone numbers on their block list, adding more spammers by the minute. In the month of February alone, Robo Killer blocked over 17 million spam calls. Good for them.

That's great heroic work. I recently downloaded the Robo Killer app on my phone. We all did actually. We love it. It's pretty impressive. My phone doesn't make a peep when a call gets blocked. They have their pre-recorded little troll bots that mess with the spam callers for you, which are hilarious. We love them.

Personal favorites. they're spam fighting assistance area 51 snake bites you name it they come up with it and again they troll the spam callers which is great because we don't like spam callers if you're trying to get a good round and you're trying to perfect your golf swing you're going to need zero interruptions you can have that with robociller you folks can go to robociller.com slash for play on your mobile device now you're going to download the app new users get robociller free for seven days grab your clubs enjoy the silence again that's robociller dot com slash foreplay All right, our resident lefty here on the show, Frankie Borelli.

You got a lot of lefty action in the game of golf right now. So first off, we had J.T., Justin Thomas, who is a friend of the program. He and Ricky Fowler went out a couple days ago, played against each other, lefty. They clearly got like full sets of lefty clubs from their sponsors and had a pretty damn good match. It was fun to watch. They had pretty fucking good swings, as I'm sure you've all seen when I think it was one of them posted it was like steith uh j t ricky and somebody else they all posted like last year on all their lefty was zander too yeah because that's when i committed to thinking that frankie's got

no chance when i they went out and played ricky shot 94 jt shot 101 playing a full round of golf lefty so the question is sort of where does that leave us on our thoughts of a frankie versus these guys match um so their scores actually stunned me when after watching some of their holes on rickie's Instagram. Like, I mean, some of the holes like JT looked just like unathletic. Like he was hitting the ball sideways, dribbling the ball directly to their right. Like some iron shots were chunked. And then like Ricky was out there just striping the golf ball. He shot a pure 94. It was like he was hitting great drives. Like I saw JT hit a couple good drives. Listen, they're world class athletes. They're professional golfers. They obviously know the way to strike a golf ball, whichever side they're on.

Maybe they can't do it like perfectly physically, but they know mentally what it takes better than I do, anyone does at what it takes to hit a golf ball. So they have that advantage over me. They also have the mental edge of just like, if I played JT, he would push me into a 110 just by chirping me, telling me I'm doing something wrong, standing behind me as I putt, asking me if that's the right club choice, all that stuff, which, by the way, I found out that my club choices, my mental game has gotten so bad. When I take a couple months off of golf, what I did at Cherry Valley the other day,

I don't know, I thank God that we're only amateurs because I stepped up to a T-box on a par three and everyone else had like eight irons and i had a five iron i'm like what like i guess i just didn't like i didn't like equate like the downhill the wind and everyone's i was like what are you guys like hitting right now like eight nine i'm like i just walk slowly back to my cart they're like what'd you have i'm like don't worry about it like my ball would have i was just like yeah i had a seven like i had a five in my hand yeah you have to lie yeah i'm so glad that i found myself in that scenario so many times that i just I lie my ass off. Oh, I was like, yeah, it was a seven.

No problem. You know, all they see it was just completely flat iron. So, but yeah, that whole stuff, I think, would get to me. But, like, because I watched them over the weekend and then I went and golf the other day, I was, like, trying to see, like, how I would play against them. And, like, I was playing just regular good golf to the point where there's no chance I would lose to JT playing lefty. Like, I just don't think I could.

I think that there's no chance I would lose them. Ricky showed a little bit more. I promise. Like, Ricky at least was hitting like bomb drives. And like, I saw he like hit a hybrid. 44 on the front. He just blew up on the back. I looked at their scorecard. So like, I think they just film more of the back nine holes where JT totally fell apart. But JT was on fire. And I think he just lost his swing, which I mean, it happens to me and I'm a righty, you know. 44 in the front is no joke. Forty four is no joke at all. So what it boils down to is you can so it's tough.

Yeah, you could probably, like the scores the way they are now, you can obviously beat them, but it all boils down to you mentally, and that's a fucking shit show. When I play golf, there's, like, I'm able to stay in the hole. Like,

I'm like, at least putting for par or bogey and, like, making pars and bogeys. There's a couple holes where I make a seven and an eight because I'm just chunking the ball or blading it. I hit it out of bounds. I like,

I have blow-up holes all the time, but, like, I think he would have just as many blow-upils. It's not like, like, I think that my consistent, just regular swing, wing of golf would would just cruise right by him.

He would be grinding to keep up with me. Because I'm just swinging like normally. I don't know. I think you'd be like a three to one favorite or four to one favorite. It'd have to be. Ricky's another question. Now I know that he had a bad back nine JT. Ricky was like Ricky maybe like amidectuous.

Did you see that shot out of the bunker that he is? Yes. Yes. He was putting out of the bunker. Yeah. Yeah. That was actually great out. By the way, is that like a move that like anyone can do?

or is that like, like, you can do that on any bunker? Or was it just rock hard? A lot of them have lips, right? So, like, those ones didn't have lips. They kind of like just, whatever, faded into the sand, end of the grass. But if a bunker doesn't have lips like that, I've seen people just putted out because they suck it hit out of bunkers.

Yeah. And also, I was actually, I was so amazed by their lefty swing and the fact that they were kind of ripping the ball around the course. But I was, like, watching that. And I think the reason that he putted it out was there was water behind it. So if he bladed one out of the bunker, which would have been real easy. then obviously he screwed.

So he just putted out, mitigated that risk, and then knocked it down. Very impressive, though. Not taking away anything from them. They shot. It was incredible. They both should have broke 100, and their probably first full round opposite hand lefty, because, I mean, and doing it, like,

while, like, putting it all on social media stuff and, like, just everyone can see their swings. It was pretty impressive. Like, I know mentally I would fold, but I'm pretty confident in my actual game. If I could just, like, have a mental coach. maybe I bring someone with me. Yeah, I was just to say, if you had a good caddy,

like one of us, I feel like that was like pretty into a cat. Or Alfonso Ribeiro. Yep. I think you would, you would win for sure. That's what I think. I don't know why. Barre. Ribero.

Yeah. Your church up in words kind of go. I would say you wouldn't have liked you doing that is Alfonso Rivera. Yeah. I wouldn't. There's that, there's that extra eye in there that, that throws you off. Ribeiro. It kind of makes it.

Is it spelt like Ribeiro? Yeah. Yeah, right. Ribeiro. Oh, so that's like Guy Fieri saying it's Fietti. Like, okay. I don't know. It is like Ribeiro and you're saying Ribeetto.

Whatever. Whatever. Then we also have- How about Guy Fieri? How about Guy Fieri chirps people for saying his name wrong? Meanwhile, he changed his name from Guy Ferry to Guy Fietti. And then he gets mad when you get his fake name wrong. I didn't know that.

Like, dude, your name wasn't, he acts like, oh, like the Motherland gave me this name. like Fieti and like I say Mutzedel like say it the right way but his name is guy Ferry like from fucking Paramus new jersey wherever the hell he's like you know what I mean I didn't know that it's not like he's from the alps of like the almophie coast like like he's from Columbus Ohio guy ferry the fucking like cab driver from ohio like come on Don't correct me about the jetty. Let's relax. Yeah, you're right.

It was a ferry in Columbus, Ohio. I did not know that. That's a fact for you. While we're doing Guy Ferry from Ohio, where are you guys at on Ellen? You guys see this shit about Ellen? I saw you put this in. I was searching vigorously to see if there was anything related to golf in it.

I was like, what did Ellen say about golf, man? I did. It didn't feel like you were having it. We were doing the rundown or something. Like it was like, oh, so we got to talk about Ellen? We can talk about Ellen. Explain, because I've been out of the mix. I've been playing N-O-Bee the show.

I've been editing pizza reviews. I've been just in another world. Didn't play video games and not doing anything else? Yeah, why don't you just let me know about, yeah, basically. And also with those servers and like how the internet didn't work, like, it doesn't work right now because so many people. And it will be the show was not anticipating a million people playing it at all times. You just can't get into online games.

We're trying to do this like online league with Dallas Braden and Smitty and Hubs and all this stuff. We can't get into these games. It's one of the more infuriating. things I've ever done. You go and match someone and then they place you with another person. It's like, how does that even work? How are they matching people? But it's another person from another part of the world. Whatever, go on. Ellen, what happened? So the reason I added it has nothing to do with golf, but I was so stunned to think Ellen is a big enough name. One of the biggest celebrities in the world, kind of America's sweetheart. I saw this blog that Pat wrote on

barsfulsports.com and said some comedian asks his Twitter followers for their worst Ellen DeGeneres stories and it turns out she's an absolute nightmare. And it started with this comedian who posted right now. We all need a little kindness, you know, kindness, you know, like Ellen DeGeneres always talks about. She's also notoriously one of the meanest people alive. Respond to this with most insane stories you've heard about Ellen being mean. And I'll match everyone with $2 to the L.A. Food Bank. And it's just how big of a hassle do you have to be where someone's like, if you tell a horrible

true story about Ellen, I will donate money to charity. And there's like, they probably raised like $25,000. And it is just tweet after tweet about people who like worked for Ellen and worked like on the show and this and that, just telling like horror stories. And I was just brought it up because like there's certain rumors that you may have known that. I never knew that. I just thought, I always thought Ellen was like the nicest person of the world. Yeah. What are some of the things that she, what is this, what are some of the stories? Like I don't, I'm trying to Google it right now. I want to give it for the bottom. of this because it is fascinating. Ellen and I think of as like being a true like sweet heart funny a joy to be around. Well, because she has all like the viral kids that were like the cute kid you see maybe in a

video that was viral. She'll like bring him out like the Shirley Temple kid that we did a piece of view with like he went out there and drank a Shirley Temple with there. There's always like certain clips that come out where like it makes you cry because like it's a good story or whatever. I do see a Dory from finding Nemo. Seven hours ago she just released a video that I cannot wait to watch Ellen DeGeneres break silence on diva claims with thinly veiled jaw. I am of the belief, whether it's fair or not, that you cannot get as big as Ellen is or someone of her stature, which there are a few, without being a bit of an asshole. Like, you can't get to that level. And I get that she would be the exception to the rule because she's Ellen and she dances and oh, she's so sweet.

But, I mean, you can't get that big without breaking a few necks along the way. Yeah, I agree to that. And I would also say, like, there's also just the, you catch somebody on. a bad day clause. A lot of these people, like, if they are stories about working for them and it's a little bit more over a long period of time, fine. But also, like, we've talked about how there's got to be like Arnold Palmer truthers out there who are like, I actually met Arnold Palmer who's a dickhead, but they've been like suppressed over, you know, forever because you can't say this stuff. Like, not like saying that like, like, I've ever heard anything about that about Arty, just more that

like somebody trying to find someone who's just universally loved. You got to be like, there's got to be somebody who had a bad, just caught him at the wrong time. He's really pissed off of this or that. But these, Ellen, it's just like, this one's so funny. She has a quote unquote sensitive nose.

So everyone must chew gum from a bowl outside of her office before talking to her. And if she thinks you smell bad that day, you have to go home and shower. Okay. See, that's different. Rick's talking about. So, like,

Riggs is talking about, and he's where it's like, Ellen has probably met so many people over the years that you're somebody on a bad day. Nobody's perfect. having a bowl of gum outside of your office so your employees don't stink, that's an asshole. Oh, yeah. If those are different things. This one says, was working on a show at WB that was next to Ellen's stage, was our showrunner's 50th birthday,

catered grilling steaks outside for a special fancy lunch occasion. Ellen sent someone over to demand they stop since she doesn't eat meat. Crazy. She's psychotic, it seems like. There's a lot of them. You don't mind that one? No, I just want to read more of them. I'm just, uh,

scroll for this blog, man. It's pretty, it's good stuff. No, I'm not defending her in any way. I do give always the people the benefit of the doubt, though. Most of the stories on there, I would say all the ones that I read were work related.

Like they weren't people on the street being like, oh, she, you know, she was mean to me in public. It's more like the people that work for her. Like, something about her writers. Like most of them don't even see her.

They've never even met her. She won't like talk to her. writer, shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm surprised. I think showbiz is all about like people being assholes. Like that video, that guy where he's like, there's, there's madness in my earlobes right now.

Stop. Stop the hammering. There's a woman talking about the Labor Day special in my ear. Someone in that control room is out of control. Like, and like, you just see this guy as a nightmare. Like, everyone's just. like bothering him. Like Christian Bale,

nightmare. That video, that behind the scenes video is like, oh, good for you. It's like, it's a nightmare. Yeah.

But like they, they projected the public like, no, I'm just a nice movie stuff. If you're in show business, you're a nightmare. Berman? Doesn't Berman freak out

on that guy? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bill O'Reilly. O'Reilly with, what is he doing back there? We're doing,

fuck it. We'll do it live. Like, yeah, you just. Boy, you're going to see, I really did need a renovation because these seats are killing

my back right now. Like I actually can't sit here right now without my hips feeling like they're just popping out of place. I do. I have a problem with now that we've been working from home a lot. I don't have room in my bedroom for a chair to sit in. So right now I'm just in bed. There's no changing of location for me. I wake up. Pleasure yourself. Right here. You're doing a podcast from where you pleasure yourself, which is interesting and is also awesome. I don't like the smirk the Trent just gave with that. That's the most disturbing part of the question. Okay, so speaking of pleasuring yourself, I want to give a shout out. It should be good. Yeah, just that's a quick one. This guy, Stephen Morincovic, he tweeted at me, hey man, just smack my grundle with some of

that baby powder. Hope your quarantine is going well. And that honestly made my day. The fact that this guy's like, you know what? Let me get a couple smacks on here. Let me dry up real quick. And just go on with my day. Let me let Frankie know about it. It felt good. Another thing I want to do just since we're kind of going through the things here is let me pull up this text message I got from our guy, Captain Kahn. We all know that Captain Kahn's through the show and he likes to be involved. Big listener. We appreciate your support, Captain. I love Captain.

Thank you for your service. Oh, yeah. Your service. I got that from Kyle Rudolph. I haven't done 10 pushups. I don't know if I can do 10 pushups. A decade. My chest is concave.

I can't do a fucking. I'm not going to be able to swing a golf club for a month. So he texts me and he goes, Frankie Fax, do you want to know where the saluting in the military came from? And I just wrote, yep, because that seems super interesting.

He said so back, and I've actually repeated this story a couple times, so this is a good one for you guys. So back during medieval times, when a knight would approach the king, he would lift his face mask to show to the king so that the king could see who it was. And it was not some guy coming to harm him.

So it evolved from there, literally physically lift, up the face mask to the king. So he also said, it's why Britain's military salute looks so much different than ours. They kept it the same from when knights used to do it. They go flat. So they'll go up

and flat. So it's very similar to when the knights used to do it. And then we just say basically fuck Britain and we changed it to our more like our version of us. That's kind of our thing. Right. It's like, hey, you do something. We're going to change it, make it better. And then we're going to shove it in your face. Metric system. Nope. We're just going to create this other systems that no one

else in the world uses. It's genius. Yeah. So thought that was pretty interesting. Wow. What was your one from last show? People love that one. Oh, the pirate. The pirates with the with the iPatch. And I actually got a DM.

I should have saved it, but some guy said he's in the Marines or the Navy, but he is a submarine like missile shooter or something like that, whatever the fucking correct term is. Thank you for your shirt. That's it. That's what it says.

Thank you for your service. Thank you for your service submarine missile shooter. Thank you for your service. Also, remember that time I asked a question if submarines have windows on it and you guys all thought I was stupid? I mean, they have to have windows on them, right? We actually got the confirmation that they do indeed have windows

so they can see like the orcas and all the whales and stuff. But here's another question. That's not why they have windows. That's not why, but I said so they can. No, it's so the other country's missile shooter, if they shoot it on it, that's why you can see it. Okay. I don't want to make a mockery of our own forces.

I don't know if you do, but kind of are. Navy submarines don't have windows. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Someone said that they absolutely have like lookouts where they can see things. They don't have windows, no chance.

Maybe if you found like a, like a cruise submarine. Oh shit. The public to see the orcas. But a Navy submarine does not have windows. You don't think a Navy submarine has one window to look at into the one. No, it has a little periscope. They're not on a vacation, Frankie. You don't need vacation.

It's like. That's all they're working with. Okay. You think their best technology is they look out the window to see if a fucking enemy's coming? No, I'm 99% sure we had this exact argument. I just Googled it. Do subs have windows?

No, Navy submarines don't have windows or portholes so the crew can watch undersea life, which I love that it uses. I'm 99% sure we had this. No chance to have windows. Someone responded. It was like, actually they do, I'm on a submarine right now using Wi-Fi and whatever. was. I don't know. I'm just saying. Someone said that they actually...

Hold on. Where's the balance between windows and Wi-Fi? No, I'm sorry. As a window into the world. We got exactly. How he was able to tweak. Correct. Had to go right out that window and then up into the world. Some guy said that he actually wears, they wear an eye patch when they're doing their submarine missile shooting. So that it doesn't fuck up when they're looking through the scopes.

doesn't fuck up their night vision. Okay. Okay. I can believe that. Same thing. I believe that. Same reasoning. Same science.

It's all just one big thing here. So while we're on the lefty talk, which we're not, but we're going to go back to it. Brooks Kebka carried, he hit a bunch of shots lefty. He carried his driver 293 and he carried an eight iron 196 lefty. The point where I thought he was doing the switching of the camera because it was going so far, but then his swing wasn't like perfect. So unless he was like changing his swing and really wanting to like pull one over on us, then I,

then I do believe it. I mean, what's more impressive to you going opposite handed and shooting in 94 or going opposite to hand in and hitting a ball on the fly to 94? I think it's on the fly to 94. Yeah, definitely. I mean, literally that, the way I saw Brooks Kepka swing the club,

like he could break 80, I think. Like he, he was hitting it better than any of us hit the golf ball. Like, yeah. And, yeah, I mean, That was shocking the way he hit it. Hold on.

Was it Bruce Cup? Hit the bomb? I thought it was DJ. I saw DJ hit a bomb lefty also. There was 294. DJ hit one 311. Yeah, 311 after the carry, but the- 294 in the air.

Yeah, which is just, I don't even know what we're doing. Like, right. I've never carried one that far in my life. No. I'm right-handed, and I've been trying really hard for a long time. You've really been giving it your best shot. I study, I read shit. I try to take.

You think you've gotten better at golf since you've played like five days in a row? Yeah, I know I have. Because sometimes that's not the case. No, definitely not. I think I discovered a trick. What is it? Usually, you figured it out.

Truly is at $1.45? That helps. Hold on. Most golf trips would go on a lot of times do 36 holes a day. And you get too tired. By day two or three, you know that that fatigue catches up in your game and in your mental focus and your swings you start

to get lazy swings everybody knows that game I'm playing just like once a day when I like I do a bunch of other shit too work related whatever and then I like sneak out there when I can and play in three or four quick hours and then I've also they've got this gigantic practice range of nothing else going on so I'm able to go kind of like go over there hang for 30 minutes hit a few balls find something I like and then play like a fresh 18 each day and I'm actually hitting the ball very well right now. I can't make a putt to save my life, which I would imagine is mental because everybody's roasting my putting every time I posted, including

Sir Nick Faldo, six-time major junior. Yeah, what's that about? I don't know. He's addicted to fucking checking Twitter at 9 o'clock every night and roasting me. People are bored. When he's not making Italian food in his Berrelli's t-shirt in his kitchen, he's roasting race. He doesn't even tweet that often. He just quote-tweets

my video of me putting, sometimes takes a screenshot of it, and then just roast me, And then he doesn't treat again until like the next day when he roast me again. It's crazy. I don't know. I don't know what's up with that man. But he's one of the more prominent voices in all of golf. And he just once a day buries me on Twitter.

But yeah. Do you think this whole lefty thing? Did we, I can't remember. Did we come up with the pros playing lefty or was that then? Do they take our idea? Well. I don't want to, you know. It's a good question.

What I will say is I noticed. that Taylor made put out a video where they asked DJ and Tiger and all these other guys, Rory, what they would shoot Lefty. Like, those guys posted their swings lefty. And then we took that conversation to a whole other level. And now everyone's like getting involved in, which is exactly what happened with the blindfolded thing with Rory. Like that was the most infuriating one because we absolutely had just been talking about it. Then the next week, he's talking about it with that guy Carson Daly, who I've read about like that guy.

I don't want to start an internet war with that guy. but I've read some things that that guy is like a sandbagger when it comes to like pro ams and stuff like he'll join in with these like these like the highest like he'll be like a 10 handicap and just like win proams like he's like shooting like 71s and 70s and like matching up with like Kevin Nah and like absolutely like roasting people in the tournaments. That's the Larry Fitzgerro. He's like known as like a celebrity sandbagger. Do you know who Carson Daly is?

Yes. Okay. You said that guy Carson Daley like you didn't know who it was. Yeah, like he's like a delivery guy from Ohio. That man hosted TRL back in the day. He hosted TRL. He's a real deal. I mean, he's definitely a good entertainer.

It's just like he took our fucking, we want to just talk to Rory and we wanted to ask if he could beat us, beat me playing blindfolded. I said absolutely none. And the next week on his podcast with Rory, he's asked this whole thing. And then they went and did it at DPC,

infuriating. Where'd you get that robe, Frankie? Oh, I've had this for a while, man. And you know what? I actually keep it at my at my home. So when I come back, it's a little treat. Like I don't bring it to the city because honestly, for some reason, my room gets colder here than it does in the city.

You know how you can't adjust your heat in those like city apartments? My room and my city just gets absolutely fucking toasty. So I never need this. When I come back here, it's like the suburbs. Sometimes a windows open. I noticed my mom opened up my windows here. And then so like this is like a window that you can see here. But it has a top that could open it.

I didn't realize that the top had been open for the last two days. And it was a icebox in here, the last. And I, like, was too lazy to go around my four-foot room and check where the stream of air was coming in. So this morning, I'm finally like, let me just lift up this blind and see what's going on over here. And it was just wide open during the 20-degree day. So I'd have this nice little robe. I don't know. When you're flapping over-round, what kind of smells are coming off of you?

I feel pretty good, man. I've been, you know, my mom's been really good at, like, she's like, everything needs to be cleaned. every day when you go out into the like when I was delivering like all your clothing to be washed right away because it can live on clothes wash your hair the whole thing so I've been I've been I've been I mean I'm never going to get a haircut again I don't think I'm never going to like I don't know all that stuff is going to go out the window I can't remember the last time I really really cared about like my body aside from just taking quick showers yeah what's your guys shower schedule looked like I haven't taken a shower today I'll tell you that I'm a shower morning I just don't

have a razor so this is just going to grow until whenever the coronavirus stops. My shower schedule is the exact same. Yeah, one in the morning and that's it. I do wear. Haircut is a good point. I got a haircut just a couple, like right before this all started to happen.

So mine's good right now, but if we go a couple of months, it's going to be a disaster. Yeah. I'd love to see what happens when you grow yours out all the way. What happens? I start getting put on lists

and people are like, what's going on with this guy? Law enforcement starts to sniff around my apartment. They're like, what's the deal with this guy? It's bad. Oh, my God. It's really bad. And then last thing on headlines before we get to from the gallery, the Olympics. I saw the Olympics actually just announced that they're postponing.

Wow. That affects us because of, you know, golf, golf's a big part of the Olympics now. There's a lot of chatter. They moved the whole schedule around to try to fit the Olympics. The Olympics were not set to start until Friday, July 24th. but they're going to be postponed. I, you know,

this has been kind of like they've been pressured into it because they've been like the last thing that's been like, no, no, we're going to like wait and see how it plays out. Everyone's like, no, it's playing out.

And like, we're watching it and like thousands of people are dying. And it's getting worse and worse everywhere. So you need to like postpone your event because the Olympic athletes like need to stop like training. They can't be training right now. It's not safe. It's that.

And I just wanted to say that it was so clear to me that the Olympics, those poor bastards had this great thought of like, all right, man, we're going to go through like a couple months of quarantine all over the world. Then like early summer, June-ish, July maybe people are going to start to reemerge. And the whole world's going to like come back to life. And boom, we're going to be like the big celebration to like kick off that like earth is back. Like humanity is back. And instead they have to fucking postpone and potentially cancel the Olympics.

So Olympics are postponed. I don't know how you postpone in Olympics. like they literally build that whole thing out they do all these leases they're like millions of apartments have to get and hotel rooms have to get booked flights that cost thousands of dollars all the athletes and their training schedules lead up to this perfect week and they're just going to like postpone it so like it just adds to our list of shit they're like I don't know what the fuck they're going to do with the Olympics yeah it just couldn't happen just couldn't just couldn't just couldn't have it over there in Tokyo um just couldn't I can't see any way they could be

like, oh, yeah, this is fine. This is completely fun. Nothing's going on over here on this side of the world. But, yeah, I don't know. I just, I guess they postponed to next year or, right, because they can't do it in two years because that's when the winter Olympics would be. It's crazy, though, because, like, the whole world is fighting this coronavirus. And, like, the Olympics would have been the coolest thing to start up the backside of this whole coronavirus thing. And to Riggs's point of all the calendars and all the setup and, you know, all the athletes preparing for, this week and a lot of sports, that's the whole kid in caboodle. Like, that's all they care about. So I don't think it'll be, I don't think you can postpone it. I think it's cancer.

Yeah, you just push it a year. Push it a year. I think that could work. Also, do you think they decided like, it's a whole other year, why isn't the Olympic training channel for Trent? Yeah, it's true. Do you think they decided like having a huge opening ceremony

and all these fans is like worth it to postpone as opposed to just having it with no fans? Because at least like, If they had the Olympics on right now or like next month when there's no sports on, we could watch this in like Tokyo every day just like we're everyone's just craving like weird sports. Like if we could watch like gymnastics and fucking beach volleyball right now, it'd be the most watch Olympics of all time.

So like I wonder if they even considered like doing a quarantined Olympics. I think they definitely did because they were legit like they were holding out as the last major like event that people have been pointing to. being like, what are you going to do about that thing that's coming up called the Olympics where the whole world kind of comes to one place. So yeah, I think they were trying to find a way to make it happen. And they legit, they build all these stadiums, find all these stadiums for these sports. And then like, they're just not going to, they're just not going to have the Olympics.

So, I mean, I think, I think like trying to postpone it for, why are you standing up, Frankie? What's going? My hip, I need to keep going. Keep talking. I can't, I got to walk. I got to walk this off, man. take it yeah get some fresh air frank

yeah frank frank frank we're doing a podcast Frankie my hip is an absolute nightmare right now it's just shit my hip is shit tough endorsement for the uh go aisles go I think it's also because they have them leaned back

because they're not cemented into a like a fucking whatever like a stadium so I have them like lean back and I'm trying to balance on them and it's just Just sitting on a couch, Frank. You can't just, you can't do the show on a couch. No, I thought this was cool. I like, you know, just brings me back to home having my hands on the wood over here.

You know, I have to start. This is where I put my hand on my wood too, you know what I mean? Woo! Come on, Trent. Wow. Dude, I played, I played rotten apples the other night. You ever play that game? It's like apples to apples, but it's an adult version.

And I laughed so hard that I actually thought I had to go to the hospital. and I thought that I would be shamed because I was taking a hospital bed from a COVID-19 patient. But I was, I didn't think I could, I didn't think that I could, like, get back to normal, just breathing. Because we were playing and no one, like, around, like, you have, like, family around and, like, friends, like, people or whatever. And, and you just don't know how dirty people are going to get. And I'm, and the question was, or the statement was, I like to, I like the smell of this and the, I like the smell of blank. in the morning. Okay.

You know, people give these things. And one of them was like, shit. And the other one was like poopy. And then the other one was something pink. And I just, bro, I, like I saw it come up and it's just in something pink.

And I started dying. And then I tried to explain it. I tried to say the word. And it was like, something pink. The whole place started laughing. And it's, it's really hard to explain,

like how funny it was. It's how you had to be there moment, which also doesn't work for a podcast for all people. Sure. Stop. This is brought to you by dude wipes. Dude wipes are the original flushable wipes for guys, created literally out of an apartment a few years ago by four Chicago dudes.

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about it. I just want to rattle off my one fact of the day. This one's been on my mind for a long time. The Captain Kahn's one was more of like an inside barstool fact. That one came via message, text message. I don't count that as a user submission. He's part of the brand. So, you know, that just came off naturally.

That's to come as a DM or something. Has to come as a DM. Love getting the facts in my DMs. I appreciate that one. So this is a very interesting one. And I love this one so much. In the 16th and 17th century, manure was shipped across the ocean for fertilizer.

The manure would be dried out before it was shipped because it weighed less. Initially, they thought to put the giant crates of manure below deck. However, water would get in the boat and into the crates, causing the manure to ferment, which created methane, which had nowhere to escape in these below decks of these ships.

Fast forward to the first guy that went down there below deck with a lantern, and it would blow the entire ship up to a million pieces. So after several explosions, they started labeling these manure crates with ship high in transit. So they knew to keep the crates above deck. This then got abbreviated to S-H-I-T. That's why shit is shit. what the fuck do you think about that um that took my breath away what do you fucking think about that

i believe it ship high in transit ship high in transit i don't think i believe it that's not one that i want to believe like it's like no ship high in transit is not like um somebody who's sitting around being and like how can we come up with an acronym that would like fit this story let's go with ship high in transit go ahead whatever i'm believing it until i'm proven uh false i'm gonna call i'm gonna call frankie falsehoods on this one okay it's just an instinct just a hundred yeah i'm not gonna search

it i'm just gonna go off with this nice fella told me and i think it's factual and i think that's what happened in the 1600s i think that they were exploding ships because of this fermented water methane shit that's in the in the basements of these um ships and they had to get them up top and then they'd abbreviate it shit they'd be like oh what's that shit oh it's manure shit you shit on the floor shit all this shit you shit in the toilet shit manure shit so i just typed in 50 most unknown facts i'm not gonna read many of them but one that did catch my eye coca cola was originally green that's messed up should i start like putting out horrible hashtags and not knowing how to use social media or are we all just

just taking just taking frankie's thing is I was so bored Puts go that way Yeah that's actually pretty That's a good hashtag You see what he say You're stealing his thing No I know I'm not stealing it

But I was just Well His that fact sucked Usually you come with some good facts How does that You get mad when someone has something Like you I could tell it You were just off when I said

I was going to tell a fact You For all the listeners Lurch started It's too long window It's a story You're not reading long emails That you lost my attention

after a minute there. No, I thought that was a good one. I mean, it was five sentences long. Everybody's entitled their opinion. You have a pee brain for such a big body. I mean, that's not the way

all our interactions closes. Frankie just makes this something. Come fight me. You can't. Oh, cool. Anything else you'd like to get off your chest? In your little coliseum chair? Did you look like a divorce dad?

in that robe. Me? Yeah, just a little like, you just like, you've given up. I look sick. You've given up. Yeah, you do look sick. Like, we're in the middle of a pandemic. Everyone has given up in terms of.

I think I look comfortable. I think you guys, I think you guys are jealous. Frankie, I think it's, I think it comes more from, like the etymology is from, like, old English. You know when Vince Vaughn goes to visit Owen Wilson? like don't jump. Yeah, I'm reading Don't Jump books, man. Your robe reminds me of Owen Wilson in that scene.

And we're all Owen Wilson right now. Are you wearing khaki pants right now? Holy shit, no way, dude. That's weird. I didn't expect that. No way, bro. Are you insane? Are you insane, Trent, Trent, Ryan. Are you an insane person?

Somebody are the police still picking people up because you need to be arrested right now. That's fucking pre-crime, man. You should not be wearing khaki pants in the same place you pleasure yourself while doing a podcast during a pandemic. You're not leaving your apartment. What are you putting on? Your pants. Ooh, I'm going to throw up my thing.

Are you insane? Let me tell you why. Oh, my God. Whoa. Sweat pants, my man. I didn't like I laugh that hard. And I got tears a long down my face. I wanted to bring back a little normalcy to my life.

So I thought I would get up, I would shower, and I would just put on the outfit that I normally would put on. That's the answer. Did part of you think it's a workday? So I'm going to put on my workday outfit and not getting the right mindset? Yes, it was. And also, and I do the group chat, which is a Snapchat show with Ria and Fran, who we work with.

And I figured I would just, I'd put on, you know, a normal workday outfit. And I'd roll from there. I guess I could have changed out of it. That was a few hours ago, but I am. I'm still in my khakis. Oh, man. That's funny as shit, man.

That's amazing. It's a good moment. There's no plan to go outside either, but you're just on the workday uniform. I remember I did that. I can't remember if I talked about this before on the show where when I first got hired by Barstool, I wanted to sort of keep a normal life because I had seen the bloggers before me. They just sort of like, they let it all go.

They don't shower. I was like, I want to keep kind of like a normal routine. so I would wake up, do what I did this morning, shower, put on normal outfit, but then like two months into working a bar stool, I just turned into everybody else. Would you come dress like a security guard in your apartment? No, just like a normal like jeans and a hoodie. But I just figured I didn't want to be in sweatpants all the time because then I come just lazy and whatever, but then two months into the job I was wearing sweatpants every day.

I walked outside my house to find something in my car and I was wearing this robe, I put my feet just barely in my shoes and I was tiptoeing outside in the rain and like my neighbors are like out there like in the garage just like looking at me. And I looked like I looked like a problem. Like like I just like tiptoed out of something real bad in my house or something. I'm just like let me just get something else so I can carve up the body inside or something. Like I looked I looked horrendous. And yeah, it's just like I think that's hilarious that you're wearing pants, especially your your your outfit. I mean, I'm not going to wear pants for a long, long time.

What do you wear? Just fucking, like, the most comfortable sweatpants, like, pajama pants of all the time. Yeah, I got chit sweats on them. I wear that, and my Tommy Johns, it's like, I'm just living. There's nothing hard is going to touch me. You know, nothing like crisp. Everything's going to be loosey-goosey, soft, comfy, cozy. That's all that's going to touch my body.

Good for you, Frank. I'm kind of running out of clothes down here in Charleston. I'm actually wearing jeans right now. I got nothing under this little cuetup, but... You're going to queues up with no undershirt? That's kind of crazy. Why? That's psychotic.

Are you kidding? Why? It's like a sweatshirt. I wouldn't wear a sweatshirt without an undershirt either. It's weird. It's weird, but we're living in weird times. He seems like he does that all the time. He would do that non-pandemic.

Yeah. Oh, that's weird. On a Sunday? Sure. Would you? So you go out to, like, grab drinks with your buddies, you wear a hoodie, you just wear no t-shirt underneath? No, no, no, no, no. I'm just talking about like a Sunday in and around the house and I'm just like- Oh, well, you don't wear a quarters-zip around the house. You don't like get dressed in, that's nuts.

That's the most uncomfortable thing of all time to walk around a half thing. Like a fall day, you put on mesh shorts and a quarter-sip? And what, go to the paddle club and like see your golden retriever running across. There you go. A good pickle ball match down there. I think the general public doesn't get in their college shirt and mesh shorts. and walk around the house. Have a coffee, read the paper,

maybe watch the Sunday morning show, see what's up in the journal. Practice your institutionalized racism. I'm just kidding. What the fuck, man. Not accurate. Frankie Fax is inaccurate. That was a joke.

There's a jump. That wasn't a great fact, that's so funny. There was a fork in the road And I took a hard left And I just went for it From the gallery John says

Would you rather play with Tiger Woods At your local Muni Or play Augusta National with your buddies Did it say How many, like Did it say you could play Augusta National Multiple times? Oh no, only once

Okay This is one round with Tiger At your local track public track, muni track, or, you know, one round at Augustin National with like your three buddies. Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods. Good question. Do you read?

My buddies. I've gone back and forth. Ever since you sent out the outline, I've been going back and forth on it. I think it's Tiger Woods. Just because of the, just like what a spectacle it would be in your hometown. Like if you went to a Gus with your buddies, that's great. but imagine like Tiger Woods is coming to see Rapids to play this course. What an insane thing to happen.

I think that would be more fun. And I can talk about it. Think about what we do, like the leaps and bounds we take to just see Tiger Woods swing a golf club. Like we literally traveled around the world. It's not the only reason we did it, but like one of the main reasons we went to Australia is because Tiger fucking Woods was there. And like just being able to be right next to him,

him commenting on your game, like giving you like tips that you'll take for the rest of your life. Like maybe he like touches your shaft while you're putting and he's just like no, no, no, like, this is what you need to do. Like, you know what I mean. Hell yeah, brother. Maybe he just like adjust your hands and he's like, of course. And maybe he's just trying to adjust your hands like something you always think about.

Like Riggs, you've been like battling people online about your stance and putting people saying you're too open and you're not aiming the right way. You're like, well, no, that's how Tiger Woods does it. It's like imagine being able to like show them. Well, like he literally showed me how to do this because we played the eyes and hour blue the other day. And like no one knew he was there. I was just the only one playing the municipal golf course and East Meadow with Tiger Fucking Woods

and he was drilling driver to the green like every time and he shot at 52. Like it's one of the most incredible stories of all time. And just like I think it would just create a bond between you and the boss man as opposed to like you go to Augusta. It's the moment of your life. You're playing one of the best, you're playing the best golf course.

You're playing inside heaven. But like you could also like have a shitty day. I know it's probably impossible to like perceive that. But like we've been to Augusta, alert you have. haven't. Like, we've already seen what it looks like. And if you go to Augusta and play horrible, like, I just think that may take away from it more than like, if I had a bad day and I happen to play with Tiger Woods, I think I could take more away from that as opposed to like, if I show up

to Augusta and shoot 120 and like just get absolutely fucking. I would say, I would say Augusta with my buddies. I think, uh, really. Yeah, I think everything around it would be impossible to pass up for anything. I think the hype like the, you know, you had a date and I'm obviously now you can. can't, but if the date was fucking like, you know, October 15th, and we have like months to build up with our group text about the match, and we're going to play Augusta. We get there like five hours earlier the night before, whatever it is, stay in like the cottage or even if you can only be there for the day, you get there really early. You're like chipping and putting around. You're hitting balls. You're fucking putting on the practice screen right out in front of the, the fucking clubhouse, right where like 18 and nine all finish up. Then you play the whole round.

Obviously, the round would be insane. Like, and then you and your buddies would talk. about it forever. Like every time you got together and had a drink, be like fucking, remember when Lurge like it, that's wedge on 13, like, you know, whatever. Like, you would talk about it forever. And it's an experience that like you can't, it'd be like, it'd be like identical to you and your buddies like going to the fucking moon. Like, it's not something that you could do. Like you and your buddies can't just go play Augusta ever. So like the fact that you would get to take what you do on like a week or like once a month or something and then just take it to like Augusta National, which is this fake life place and have that experience.

I think like having that with three other people would just elevate it to a level that would like it would be so like memorized and like talked about forever among your crew, but I don't think I can pass that up. You also can't play golf with Tiger Woods. You also can't have a catch with Babe Ruth. You also can't catch a football from Joe Montana. Like these are things that like no one in the world can do anything. Like these are like mythical great, you know what I mean?

Like you're playing with you can't just play Augusta either. I mean like your point of we flew around the world to see Tiger Woods. Like yeah, I would fly around the world to play August. You know, like I think that I think Trent's points an interesting one, but it makes sense for him. He's a storyline guy. So he's thinking like that it would just be like an epic thing that everybody. A big headline guy.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Tiger Woods is coming to play with a number 24 most important or most famous person in Iowa. The Cedar Rapids Gazette would be all over it. potentially this is happening. TENCRIZ is 9th. Yeah, KCRG would be out there. It'd be crazy, you know?

Yeah, I think Frankie's point is like based on some assumptions, based on like that you're going to have a bond with him, etc. I think it's without question playing with your buddies. I think that would be the best thing in the world. For you and three buddies to have a tea time in Augustine just be putting around the green with like cocktail talking about catty pre-round, I just could imagine. I'm a fun that would be.

I'm certainly that way. That'd be sick. I'm getting excited talking about it. And then it's almost like, right now it feels like when you wake up from an awesome dream and you realize it's not real. I imagine your buddies be if they found out that you had the option.

And Frankie and I were like, we're going to play with Tiger Woods and not take you to Augusta. Be fucked, man. I think you respect. I mean, like, it's not like terrible. It's like, oh, yeah. You're going to play Tiger Woods.

Sorry, I'm not playing with you, you're 36 handicapped. I'm just going to stop. Remember every day when we grew up used to play the game, Tiger Woods on your computer? I'm going to go play Tiger Woods right now in Real Valve. So why don't you go sit home and have a baby on your couch? Have you seen this picture of the lady having a baby on her couch? Yeah, I saw that. Oh my gosh.

Day number five in quarantine, had a baby on my couch. And boy, did she have a baby on her couch. I haven't seen it. I don't like that stuff. I don't know. I've seen some crazy shit on. line now that we've been doing this quarantine thing. But we're only, we're not even into double digits in terms of days.

It's only going to get weirder. Big time. What's your guess on months, months that we're doing this? I think some things start to come back. Like I think that, well, maybe it's just unbiased and like hopeful, but I think like you're able to go get like, I think restaurants and local businesses will be able to at least go back to work. Like I think you have to be able to do that at some.

point in a month. But I think like large gatherings, concerts, sports, like venues, all those things, I don't think they come back, I don't know, four months, five months. How can you, how can, how can, how can in like two weeks, in like four weeks, you just be like, all right, yep, we're all going to an islanda game sitting right next to each other and just like, you know, 16,000 people packing into an arena or like, oh, we're going to a Tim McGrawton here in Nashville for 100,000 people sitting in a football stadium. You can't have it. Did I say June on the last podcast that things were going to come back?

I think I might have said June. That was wrong. Based on how things are continued to escalate, June was flat out wrong. Yeah, I don't know. I think I said August. Yeah. I don't, I like the over on August too. I would say like, okay, let me ask this.

You know, we work at Barstow, obviously like a lot of shit goes down in the office. That's where we need to be, content all time, whatever. When do you think our first, like, official everyone's back in the office day is? Pulling up a calendar right now. That's how bad that is. It's March 23rd as we're recording. My guess is like June. I was going to say May 11th.

Why? Like the third week. I don't know. Just like the third week. That gives us one, two. One, two, three, four, five, six. six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, about twelve weeks. That gives us about twelve weeks.

You don't think we're going to be back in the office in twelve weeks. You think there's going to be twelve more of these Mondays or I'm sitting on this fucking chair. Yes. Yeah. Dude, I couldn't, I can't tell you how stunned I was last night, Sunday night. And I was just like tomorrow's just Monday and it's the same thing again. Like we just started. That's the only thing that scares me.

This just started. Things are just like Massachusetts just, just shut down today, Massachusetts, like a lot of their things. It was like shut down MA was like trending. I'm going to say, fuck, man. I'm going to say June 15th. Oh, man. That is deep. I agree.

The thing is, yeah, right. And the thing is, just nobody knows. Nobody has any idea. 17 weeks? Is that my doing? that right it's close oh man that's in eternity i mean i'm gonna go great i'm gonna go crazy i'm gonna go crazy yeah the small business thing though i mean is yeah crazy like i feel frankly i command you you know i think what you're doing for you your pops the story is awesome it's awesome that like

you got into this barstool world and like how life comes full circle potentially and now you can help out your i think that's so cool i love like following along i love i could support it if you deliver pizzas down in South Carolina, I'd buy one. But, yeah, I mean, I just feel, I mean, the world is just so damn different. And like, without that, you know, the Raleys that's four towns over, you know, can't survive. And like, they're just struggle, struggle, struggle. And I mean, I just think of all those people. It's also like Corona isn't going to just disappear.

Like, even if we're back in like two or three months going about our business, like, they still are not going to be all allowed like you were just saying. Frank here or whoever like massive massive gatherings of like thousands of people for like potentially years like corona's not going anywhere like it's going to still be just it's just going to be there like it's always going to kind of be there I agree it's fucking horrifying yeah because even like the other night I was like sitting in the kitchen I was just like oh we had a pretty good weekend like a lot of people called in a couple big orders like Brock Nelson put in like a $500 order like people are really like doing good stuff and he's like yeah

it's great it's like it's just like how long can we like string this out it's like you can only last so long you always like I mean the the taxes here insane like you just paid that close of 100 grand from you know from utilities and all the stuff it's like money is just it does for small businesses they they don't have these huge backings of corporate companies so like you literally work day by day or else like they'd be able to take vacations and go out like when you oh have a mom and pop shop you work every day because you have to. So when you take that business away, even for a week, think about the bars that can't even serve food.

They're literally just closed. And they still have to pay rent. They still have to do all that stuff. So it's crazy. It's a wild time. It's just a wild time. We'll continue with from the gallery. Casey says, if each of you could be all deciding golf commissioner for a season, where

would you play the U.S. Open, the PGA championship, and the Ryder Cup? I just got to plug in my phone. I mean, is this a break or we continue? All knowing, all knowing PGA or all knowing golf person, all decision maker? Essentially, where would you put, you know, the three, the four biggest events in golf, like, because he took, obviously, he took the masters out because we know where that's at. So Ryder Cup, PGA, Open championship in the U.S. Open. If you kind of look at those, like, basically, what's your ideal, like, line up if you could just.

Is it in a quarantine world? I don't know. That's a good question. Because then I think we goes back to our conversation the other day where it was like you go to abandon like places that really can't get it. Maybe you do want to Bay-owned like something crazy like that. Like that's, I would love to see these pros tear up these courses that we love to look at on Instagram, but they're never allowed to go.

Somebody made the great point about, we didn't say Pine Valley for a PJ tour event. I thought about that. If they played it at Pine Valley because it's, I mean, it's that track. that's always ranked number one. Nobody knows why because we never see it. We don't really know. Yeah, that's true. It seems like an obvious pick.

Yeah. So we kind of blew it. We dropped the ball on that one. In terms of U.S. Open, so, I mean, it's really like what's your favorite venue for each of the, each of the tournaments? For the British Open, I mean, I'm going to say St. Andrews. I think probably most people are.

For the U.S. Open, yes, open's tough. Like, I'm trying to think of. about which course, Pebble Beach is clearly the most, like, iconic for all the U.S. open courses. But I think, like, Wingfoot, where it's supposed to be this year, which is currently, like, five minutes away from, I think, an area of the country that's under, like, national guard because COVID-19 so bad there.

But Wingfoot is, like, the massacre, and it always beats the shit out of people. Last time there was U.S. Open there, Jeff Ogilvee won at five over par, when Phil doubled the 72nd hole. So like a course that just beats the shit out of these guys every single time. So I probably have to go with Wingfoot. And then for PGA, I think Kiowa, I think when they go to Kiowa, it's really awesome. And then for Ryder Cup, I don't know, Rider Cup, they kind of go all over the place. So it's kind of pick your flavor.

Like I think it'd be really cool to see them do it at one of the courses we've been talking about doing a PGA tour event at, which would be like if they did it at abandoned or if they did it, did it at like one of those types of places, like a sand valley or or whatever. I think that'd be really cool. And then my other, my other U.S. open choice would be Pinehurst, which I think Pioneer is going to start getting a ton more. I think they're going to start coming to Pinehurst like every five years, which I think

anytime they can go to like a public course like that, it's really cool. So those are kind of some of my choices. I was just say St. Andrews is a no-brainer. And then for me, it's Beth Page. I would love every year, Beth Page, just like, the tents stay up year around. You know it's a U.S. Open venue. They just come back every year and, like, that's where it is.

And people, and the rough keeps getting thicker and the course keeps getting longer and people, and 15 keeps getting higher. And it's just like, it's the most daunting golf course they play each year. It's like, Kisner never shows, Kisner like starts showing up the first two years and then stop showing up after that because, like, it's 8,500 yards and they just can't keep up anymore. Oh, I would love it. The 15th green after five years is legit, like 100 feet in the air. nobody can't oh they're taking like a ski lift up to the top that page is a great call i fucking

i would put that in place of probably the pga i would make the pga at beth page like not a kewa now i was thinking kee with just being down here um i think i'm yeah i think i'm shinnock for the u.s open man i love it when it's out there's supposed to say that word cock don't you all right you've been talking about wood and shafts all all All episodes. You just love saying that word. Yeah, as soon as I speak up, you just love it. You'll stay behind your little camera.

Yeah, you just love it. You just love it. You just love it. So I think those two. Of a weasel. Yeah, he's a little weasel. He knows that when he plays to it. Yeah.

And then, Riter Cup, I'm actually very excited for whistling. I don't know if I'd change that. I actually like that. I can't wait for. the Rider Cup, and please let it be. Because I am wildly excited for whistling Rider Cup. So those are kind of where I stand. When is Ryder Cup supposed to be?

Last or second to last weekend at September, like September 25th or somewhere around that. Got to think they can hold that thing on. Come on, baby. When were the Olympics supposed to be? Japan, Tokyo. No, when? July 25th or something.

Some reason I thought it was. deeper in the year because I was like the Ryder Cup. Dude, I do think it'd be really cool to do an all public rotation one year. Like, kind of like we're talking about, like, obviously Augusta's not going to be, but if you did the U.S. Open at Pinehurst number two, and then you did St. Andrews, the old course, as the Open Championship, and then you did Bethpage Black, and then you did, like, Keowa for the Ryder Cup. Like, if you did, like, an all-public track kind of run, that would be fucking sick.

They've got Harding and whistling this year, so not, you know, and who knows about this year, but it was going to be close. At least it's going to be half. Yeah, that's true. I guess, like, too, it's Harding and, um, Harding and Bethpage or even on a different level because they're not like resort. They're like, you know, like, which is really sweet. So, so yeah, I'm kind of, I'm a big fan of that.

I think, um, for Publix, I mean, obviously Pebble Beach is up there, but I do think like, like, Pioneer's number two. And like, I mean, we've all been to this place now with like the, the history and like how many people have been coming here for like over a hundred years as like, their kind of golf destination in America. So hosting major championships here, I think, is like as cool as it gets. As most of us have found out the very hard way, getting into debt is easy. Getting out is very hard, especially everything that's going on right now,

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Brian says, is it weird to share a cart with your opponent in a club tournament or should you ride alone? Thoughts. Hold on. Say that one more time. Is it weird to share a cart with your opponent if you're playing a singles club tournament or should you ride alone? I feel like a singles club tournament should be walked, but that's a different answer.

I think it's very weird. I wouldn't want to do it. but like if that's what the, if that's what everybody did, I wouldn't change it, but it doesn't make any sense to me. I don't want to be in the same card riding with a guy who I'm not rooting for

or want to succeed at all. Yeah, you can't ride in the same card as your opponent. But if that's like the history of the club and I'm joining the club, then like, sure, I'm doing it. But I really, I think a singles match should be walk.

Well, I imagine he's probably, it's probably a club where he's like he can't walk. Yeah. Well, my answer is I don't think it should happen, but if it's already, that historically happens. I'd say it's definitely weird, try to avoid it.

I don't want any part of that. Maybe I would even like, I don't know what the hell I would do. I just get my own cart. Like, I'll pay an extra 20 bucks for a card for you. Coronavirus. Yeah,

and right now, yeah, right. You can just now, I think, are we going to be able to claim the coronavirus forever? Anytime you don't want to do something with somebody, you just claim coronavirus.

I mean, we grew up with it. I think you can. I think we're, I think you absolutely can. I also think it changes the world forever now. I think little things are going to be so different. like like I think all those like PVC things inside those holes I think that's at every golf course I don't I don't think the ball ever goes into the bottom of the hole anymore at public tracks like I think we we're so conscious of like germs now I think we're gonna live in a very clean world I don't think so you don't think so I think we'll get back people get back to it it'll take a few years but I think people just be like as cavalier and like nonchalant as they were look at people now people are out on fucking beaches and shit now yeah it's like it's like

Like getting worse. Totally getting worse. I just think of this time next year, it's like we're not fucking, no one's shaking each other's hands. It's like, oh, we don't want to do this shit again. I don't ever want to lose my job again. I haven't worked in six months because I shook someone's hand. I got sick.

I just think it's going to change people's thoughts. I think it'll change some people, but I don't know. I feel like people always just kind of revert back to, you know, normal. Yeah, probably. Drew says, do holes in one count with a raised cup? What if the ball would clearly not have gone in on a normal day, but barely touch the raised cup, which is sort of what Frankie was talking about earlier.

Get a piece. Just got to catch a piece. Just got to catch a piece. It's all we're looking for is just a little piece. I think you say you've got a hole in one, just like you would on a, like if someone asks you, you don't gloat about it, but if someone's like, I've ever gotten a hole in one,

it's like, well, I was playing this course. They had the raised cups. It looked like I hit the bottom of it. back. There's got to be a story attached to it, just like when you're playing by yourself or when you're playing a par three course. I think if anybody asked you the direct question, have you got a hole in one? And you start with well, it's, you haven't got a hole in one. Right. You almost got to start like, well, the coronavirus was ripping apart the earth. And that's where your story starts. Yeah, but it's definitely, you know, you definitely don't answer it no, period. No. It's got to be well.

Maybe you start with not really, but. I think you're like what if what if you walked up to the the hole in it like was just kissing the the the the raised leaning against the side of it this one more than in the past I would claim that I got one now we were saying this the other day what if you're like 180 yards out or maybe you're not even on a par three or you are on a part three and you hit it it's coming in kind of hot skips and then like hit something and comes back like how are you supposed to know if it hit the bottom of the cup or it hit the pin like if you're like a far distance away. Like there's definitely times where like you just don't know what happened.

Like usually like in the history, like before this happened, anytime the ball wasn't in the hall, it just wasn't in the hole. But now it's like if it hit the bottom, does it count? And then also like what if you hit it over a hill or a mound where you can't see and your balls on the other side of the green? But it actually hit the bottom of the pin. No one saw it, the bottom of the cup. There's so many things that happened. That one you just wouldn't know. Like if it hit and you're over the hill, that's only God's that one. So that sucks for you.

But I think if you hit something. God's up there like, God damn, that was a pretty good shot, but he'll never know. From 180 yards out, if I hit something, I'd just be like,

I caught a piece. So I'm just taking that. Next one. Zach says, do you guys eat certain food or meals before you go out and play? What about food and snack during around at the halfway house

on the course, that kind of thing? Anybody have like something you like to like a meal? I don't know. What's my, what are they fucking called? Oh, Uncrustibles. The number one on golf course,

on the golf course snack in the world, especially if they're perfectly refrigerated and it's ice cold jelly. Man, there's really nothing better. You know what I love at the fancy courses are the cups of chicken salad that they offer? Because then your hands stay clean. They don't get greasy with the grips.

Eat it all with a fork. it's a nice kind of filling meal. I think that might be my favorite, but I certainly don't have a go-to meal. I really like everything. Everything. Your answer is everything. Everything times three.

You eat multiples of everything. I like the pretzels and peanut butter at fucking Cherry Valley. I was just about to say that. Cherry Valley has this little thing, which that's not open anymore, like the halfway house. But they have a little cup. You take a spoonful of peanut butter,

throw it in that cup, and then you get a spoonful of peanut butter. of pretzels. You put them both in the cart and all the back nine, you're just dipping pretzels and peanut butter. And then they had fountain soda and you had an ice cold Coca-Cola with a straw. Oh, man, was that a delight? Drinking a fountain soda on a golf course is so bougie, but it's also so refreshing and tasty. You have your water, you have your gatorade, you have your beer, whatever you want to do. But something about that ice-cold Coca-Cola and you put a top on it too, which makes it just

taste better. Oh, man. A fountain Coca-Cola when your mouth has got salted pretzels. Talk dirty to me. Dude, that's right up there. That might be number one for me because I've never had it on a golf course before. But we wouldn't play that one day. I was like, this is it.

Butter butter. Top of the mouth. Like a lot of places have the cheese and crackers too that really like. So bougie, but it's so good. Yeah, that's shit's really good. But I think the main key is like, nobody. likes to be stuffed on the course right like snacks little snacks and stuff what's the um i used to have at eisenhower i used to get um all the time every single round i'd play i'd walk by half my house i'd get

what the hell they call combos like usually like the pizza the pizza combos pepperoni pizza combos whatever combo they had nach cheese combos made your mouth so dry it's like you're eating sand at some point but they taste sometimes you get a nice salty one and it'd be like that's why i you know how you hit one good golf shot and you're like, that's why I've come back. Sometimes you get one salty combo and you're like, that's why I do this. What's your most? That's true. That's true.

You get that with Dorito sometimes, too. You get the one Dorito? That's why we play the game. It's just laid under the flavor machine for like an extra two seconds. That's why I continue to open Cool Ranch Dorito back. Oh, my God. Just for that to happen. I've been crushing Cool, Ranch on this coronavirus thing.

The Coaching Cool. What's your most consistent? snack on the golf course. So I think mine is a Snickers bar. Pretty close to that, too. I'll always grab a... Actually, a hot dog. Yeah, I'm going to say hot dog.

I probably get a hot dog 85% of time I golf, which is crazy, but I do. It's just not a lot. I don't think I've ever seen you eat a hot dog. That's a lie. A couple liars going at it. Yeah, exactly. Woo-le-lee!

I'm trying to think. I definitely didn't eat a hot dog. I definitely didn't eat a hot dog in Australia. I've seen Frank eat a lot of hot dogs on the golf course. I love a hot dog. I love a hot dog. What do you put on a hot dog? Oh my God.

It's got to be. And it's not just opinion. This is a fact. It has to be ketchup, mustard on the bottom, and then you top those toppings with sauerkraut. Pretty good. I go just ketchup.

Religious for the birds. I like diced onions if you get those. Okay, a little flavor. I could deal with that. Oh, I used to get two hot dogs and a cream soda from the hot dog stand outside of Home Depot here in East Meadow. The guy was parked outside. He had a hot dog stand. He had a Winnabago and he would make hot dogs and dirty water dogs.

You've seen this guy probably like. Did that guy have a permit? You've never seen these guys. Maybe it's a New York thing. But they're usually on the side of like highways and like main streets and like you pull over. You get yourself a hot dog. You've never seen this guy, Trent. Whipping them out of them out of.

a Winnebago? Yes. Yes. Yeah, man. It's awesome. You get two hot dogs and a cream soda for like four bucks. And boy, he used to put hot cheese sauce on it. So just fucking melted cheese, then ketchup, then sauerkraut, and you maybe get a bag of chips

and that cream soda, that A&W cream soda. Down in Cibright, we had this old lady that did it for years. Rooney's hot dogs, down in Cibro. But I'll do, I'll dress a dog with ketchup. If they have it, celery, salt, but ketchup, mustard, and I'll throw relish on there for sure. Yeah, I'll say a couple of my favorites that stick out are Skokie Country Club in Chicago. You get a half hot dog.

They do the thing where they cut it pretty much almost all the way and fold it on each side, you know. And then their cheese and crackers in their halfway house are phenomenal. And then we already mentioned it, but two places that stick out are Pebble Beach and Pinehurst. If you're ever there, get the uncrustables. A lot of people probably had them before. The uncrustables are amazing. When we were at Pebble Beach, we were starving because we had just walked 18 holes with Dave. Didn't eat the thing.

Jake was throwing up like on whole like 10. We had to just leave him just for dead. And he was just like on the ground. Just that's it. He was done. Almost lost in one of the most beautiful place in the world. Yeah. And then all of a sudden this person comes up and is just like, hey, you guys want some snacks?

And they just had a whole cartload of uncrustables. I'm like, where have you been this whole time? And I must eat three or four. four of them on the spot right there. When we were playing Pebble, it was the only round that I didn't eat before. And it was the only round that I really played poorly or, you know, in comparison to the other rounds. But then when we got to, it's not really the halfway house. It's kind of just like in the mix there.

I had two uncrustables, a chicken sandwich and a Snickers bar in the matter of moments. And then my game picked up a little bit. I will say it's after the ninth hole. So it's kind of the halfway house. I don't know. We didn't, what did we have in, um, in Australia? We didn't really hit many halfway houses, did we? No, there's a lot more old school where they go out and then you're just like, you know,

like Pebbles like that too, you go out and then you don't come back to the clubhouse, but luckily they put that little, um, halfway house out there. But you do hit it multiple times. You hit it after you play 12 too. Yeah. I don't think I eat one thing on the golf course in the NFL course. And Pebble, isn't it right after the eighth green? It's right after the ninth tee box, right?

Isn't that where the halfway house says? I think it's a lot of it. after you play the ninth hole and then you hit your t shot on 10 and then you're okay okay i thought it's a nice one it's called the uh fuck i know the name of that thing but not now i can't come up with it right now no shit uh okay william nope not william riley i'm gonna go to riley's real quick uh this william this will be the last one william we got a bunch of good ones we're gonna save him for later in the week's show because guess what we ain't going fucking nowhere and we got no headlines to really talk about for the most part we're just talking about from the gallery so

William you got bumped right there but you're not going to get bumped forever we'll be back to you Riley says I play a lot of really bad public courses where I live was wondering would you guys rather play a course where the greens are horrible the fairway and rough and everything else are great or the other way around where the rough the teas the fairways are They're in really bad shape, but the greens are phenomenal. They're like Augusta level. Augusta level greens. I mean, anything else, like you can roll it over, you can play from wherever.

If the greens are pure, though, I think it's the best part of the golf course. I'm opposite of you. Of course. I just think the T-boxes and the fairways, that's the aesthetic of the golf course. I think when you step up there, it's like that's what separates the boys from the men when it comes to golf course architecture. If you have real nice placed T-boxes, it just makes the golf course so much better. If you have nicely trimmed fairways, it's just like that's what you're experiencing more

of the golf course on. You're on the green for a couple minutes a whole, but I feel like you're on the T-box in the fairway. Yeah, but like it goes quicker and you're traveling more range on the fairway in T-boxes. You're going across the golf course. And if that's all shit and bumpy and torn up and dried out, you're like, this place sucks. By the time you get to the green, you're like, this golf course is horrendous. I don't care what the green looks like.

And even more so, that means that you're, like, hitting off of fucking shitty fairways than Russ. And then you're putting immaculate, hard-running greens like Augusta National. That sounds like a nightmare to play on. I'd rather hit on luscious fairways that get up to the green. Like, oh, yeah, this thing's bouncing around, but at least, like, whatever, like, pick it up if it's like a foot or two out. Like, I was going to say, when a green gets nicer, it gets harder.

It gets so much harder. Like, it's, that's, I would hate to play a shitty-looking golf board. it's exactly what Ferney's saying and then get up there and it's just lightning. So I would like it's true. Like that's, I think that's the coolest part about playing those immaculate golf courses and those greens is that if you ever get it on the right line or the right speed, it rolls perfectly,

which I think is amazing. Yeah, I would be a greens guy. I just think, I don't know, I think a lot of times, like you come off a golf course and if the greens were like perfect and gorgeous and like running,

then like you can always have a great match and play like, because it comes down to like big, putts. People have big like three, four, five, six footers that like, it's not going to be like hit it and hope. It's not going to be Planko where you hope it like bounces in. It's like, no, like you have these perfect smooth, great low and great rolling greens and you remember the round by that. Like even I think Gil Hans said like we, I think the first time we had him on when we were talking with him and he was like, you know, the funny part about building golf courses is like, you could build the most interesting, unique golf course from an architecture design standpoint. And

if like the actual course doesn't like upkeep it and put it in great shape and it has like shitty conditioned greens or whatever the golfer's going to walk off me like yeah that wasn't that great and he goes you can have the most boring course in the world architecturally but if guys come off and the greens were in phenomenal shape people will be like that was awesome because like that's kind of what golfers tend to remember um and obviously everybody's different it would be really fucking weird to play a course where it's like muddy shit dirt like shit grass all over and the greens are just immaculate. That'd be really bizarre.

But I'd be a greens guy. I think like the round comes down to the greens every time. Like they only had enough money to make the greens pristine and everything else is just a nightmare. They would stick out so much. It'd be amazing. All right. I think we're done here. I don't know that.

I don't know that we need to talk about. Oh, man. We'll see. Hopefully everyone survives. I mean, it's like stay healthy. This is fucking crazy, man. Yeah, it is. It's madness.

Wash your hands a ton. Do you guys get like, you guys getting like delivery, right? Like, Trey, you getting delivery all the time? Yeah. Dude, I can't. Yeah, I try to get it. Yeah, like I, because I mean, we don't have it. We have a lot of food here.

We got a lot of groceries. But I also, like, I was thinking about it. Every time I order food and I like ordering food better because the food is better. Like here we have chicken nuggets and frozen pizzas. But also, every time I order a meal here, it gives us one more meal. meal from the kitchen and if shit really hits the fan, then that'll be probably for the best. Like, I don't know how bad it's going to get. Are you, like, making contact with the delivery driver?

How are you receiving the package? They drop it off in the lobby and they leave and I go down and get it. That's kind of how it is. You spray it with anything? You wear gloves? No on both of those. So I just think, like, if you're getting delivery, you're just bringing one more cog that could potentially have Corona to your meal.

So on the- I would do, what I would do is I would like take the bag, I would wear gloves, take the bag. Spray it. And no, and just like, and while I wearing the gloves, like get a dish and just dump all the food onto like one of your clean dishes and toss that bag away. Don't let that thing sit around.

Don't touch with your hand. Because then if you're like touching the bag, touching even like the tinfoil, like, like, what arellas, we're making sure everyone's wearing the gloves, like as we package it because, like, you don't know how long stuff. That's what I was thinking about your t-shirt sales,

actually. If you're just putting the t-shirt, but someone buys one, you put something in the washing machine, wash, and then get it right out to them. You have to be wearing gloves right now. Like, I was at Borelli's a day,

and I was so happy to see that everyone was, because obviously the workers want to stay healthy too. Like, you're like dealing with money and credit cards and stuff. So it's like, that's why I said, I think the world is going to change. Not that, like,

we haven't always been clean, but like you really see like everyone's like, oh my God, like that's touching this. Like, make sure, because you don't want anyone to get sick, especially from like your place. So if you're in the county area, Nassau County, Long Island,

order from Borrellys, we're open seven days a week. I'll probably be delivering most of the days, especially on the weekends. I'll probably hop back behind. So yeah, or DM me or something. Sorry,

I got a question for you. Are you continuing to order new supplies as well? Are you just trying to sell all the fresh stuff that you have at Borrellys right now? No, so like the supply places are open. So my dad every day, honestly, like, it actually scares me

because my dad can't quarantine himself. You can't stop. You just can't. You feel like you can't stay there. So but he claims that like you know if he's moving around he's not touching people. He's not near anyone. They have good systems at these places like restaurant depot where like they're only letting a certain amount of people land. All those workers there are like making sure that they're safe and everyone's using gloves. It's just like a super safe and like everyone's being conscious of this. And it seems like that's going to be the protocol for the next like half

a year or however long it's going to go on. But yeah, everything's fresh and coming in. It's funny, like, a lot of, like, Devon Taves, like, ordered a big meal. And, like, I delivered it to him the other day. He actually had me, he, like, had a stick waiting for me as, like, a tip. And he, like, signed to. He's, like, put it up to Borrellys. I was like, he's just, like, the ultimate nice guy of all time, Devon. He is a nice guy.

It was funny, like, when I went to go deliver to him, like, it was, like, over the balcony. Like, instead of, like, going into, like, his apartment building, like, where he's at right now, like, by the Coliseum. Just so funny, like, how different this is. I was, like, looking at him, like, across the hedges. like leaning over. I'm like, this is such a weird world right now that we can't even be like, I can't say what up. But yeah.

So yeah, order Borelli's. I'll be there. DM me if you want to put any orders in. People have been ordering shirts, which is a good thing. People, which is like, if people are out of town, they've been ordering T-shirts,

which is actually cool because, like, Borreli's T-shirts are actually sick. Like, Ray, and you, like, wear it all the time. All the time. I love my belt. It's a cool thing to have, too. Like, it's like small enough, but big enough, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, it's like, it's cool. It's unique. Not a lot of people have them, but. Nick Faldo has one. He wears it. Anytime he cooks pasta with his, with his girl, he wears his brother. Well, shout out to all the people that are struggling right now.

We'll all get through it. The world will end up being a better place. Like small businesses, like, I feel like people nowadays, especially our age, like, we've seamless, everything from like the biggest named places, like Buffalo Wild Wings and all these like corporate places. Like, we're always like doing corporate stuff. And like our generation definitely goes away from small business, I feel like. or maybe not or maybe even like the younger ones.

Like everything's all name brand now. So it's like I feel like this new movement's like making people see like, oh shit. Like yeah, we should go pick up like a pizza from the place down the block or or like instead of ordering from like the like McDonald's. We're like going to get a burger from like Burger City on Hemp's the Turnpike right here. You know what I mean?

Like it's just different. I just feel like it's a different mindset. So I think if everyone gets through it, it'll be a, it'll be better. Shout to everybody working hard working through this. Everybody trying to stay safe and do their parts. and we're trying to do our part.

So we'll be back on Wednesday. We'll be back on Thursday. We'll record on Wednesday. And we're trying to get some guests. I think we're going to have some pretty cool guests and try to talk our way through this thing. So everybody, have a good week. Be smart. Be safe.

Keep yourself sane. And hit it hard. Hit it hard. Hit it hard. Hit it hard.