Fore Play - Quarantine Pod with Kevin Kisner

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

The whole crew is in quarantine due to the novel coronavirus but that isn’t stopping us. Kevin Kisner joins to discuss his experience as a player at The PLAYERS Championship during the cancelation, what he thinks will happen to the 2020 Masters, and what he’s going to do while out of a job. Without Kiz, we debate how deadly golf is as a sport, living and playing Pebble Beach if you weren’t allowed to play anywhere else, and which par 3 would be the best to get a hole-in-one on in competition!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/foreplaypod

Hey, 4Play listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. We are on some weird Zoom technology. We're all in different places. And we have, I think, on the phone, we have kids who's like driving to a farm in bum-fuck America, I think. Is that right? Yeah, that's what we do, buddy. Hell yeah.

I'm going to quarantine myself. smart about time lurch is supposed to be trying to join but his computer like exploded so i really know what the deal is i got me and frank you're both in the office but we're in different rooms Trent daddy is quarantined in his new york apartment Jake i sees mike is muted which is awesome and he got kids on i got mixed signals about about should we be in the office should we not be in the office everything i see on twitter everything i see in the news is like act like you have the coronavirus. So when I hear that, I'm like, well, then I shouldn't leave my apartment because then I'm going to spread it to other people. But then it seems like there's a decent amount of people in the

office right now. Yeah, I think most people are just afraid to Dave. I think is pretty much the situation. I see Lurch's giant freakhead, I think just appeared on the thing. Computer froze. I think my computer just got the corona for a second. I was in the chat, but I was out of the chat, and I'm back. Good to see it. Lurch, we have Kiz on the line. Hey, Kis. How's up, Lurch? How are we doing? Are you figured out my name yet or no? Yeah, I got you covered, man. It's funny, when I start getting, you know, company-wide emails,

I can figure it out pretty quickly. Kids, well, we got you before we lose you because you're in the middle of nowhere. I want to hear what it was like at the players from your guys' vantage point. Like, as shit was popping off and then happening, and then they weren't canceling, and then they canceled. Yeah, I thought it was, we were all good.

You know, Thursday got done, got dinner with my family, was getting some treatment, and Jay Monaghan called and said, I need some help from you guys of what do you guys want to do? He wanted to poll basically every player and see if they felt comfortable continuing on. You know, we have a lot of international members with families abroad and not knowing what was going to happen. You know, I think it just kind of pushed his hand that he had to make that decision. with guys not knowing if they're going to be able to travel back and forth or see their families

or what was going to unfold in the next few days. Yeah, because you're on the board, right? You're like on the players board, advisory board or whatever it is? I am. Wow. They value your opinion. A big high, high paying position on the PGA Tour Policy Board. They don't pay your shit for that, do they? Correct. What was the chatter like amongst the guys? There's a bunch of side chatter like this is bullshit or what were people saying?

I think there was just so much unknown. I mean, every player I asked, I pulled probably seven or eight guys that were around me at the time. They all wanted to play. Obviously with no fans through the weekend, you know, he talked about maybe making a 36-hole or 54-hole tournament. He really had, you know, it was a damn critical time and he's trying to make decisions. at 8 o'clock at night when guys are probably already getting ready to go to bed. So we were trying to move fast and make the right decisions.

I didn't envy being in his position speaking, talking about Jay. But all the players were ready to play, but I didn't have many international players around me, which would make that decision way more difficult if my family was from Italy or was in Italy or the UK and new travel bands and not knowing what was going to happen over the next 24 to 48 hours. Yeah, and it was kind of a weird. thing where like March Madness was canceling, NHL canceling, NBA cancel,

like the PGA tour was sort of standing alone, like the show's going to go on. Well, we felt comfortable that we weren't, you know, causing any harm to other people. If we hadn't very minimal people on site during the tournament, there's not, you know, hand-to-hand contact that has to happen between players like other sports. And we felt like we could be a unifying

sport for the country. But at the end of the day, it's just not worth the risk of, you know, what we see now has transpired. It would have really looked silly over the last two days to be playing golf while all that was going on. It can't have a world pandemic and you have Dewey falling off the T-boxes rolling into the crowds. It just would have been a nightmare. It would have been the best viewing of our PGA tour careers, though. Our ratings would have been through the roof.

Man, it is crazy how fast the stuff's taken off, man. Like we're sitting in isolated rooms right now. We can't go into the office. Like it's fucking no sports. We're talking to kids. He's going to a farm in the middle of the PGA tour season. Like what is happening right now? I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do in my life.

All I'm asking is for y'all to please send money, you know. I have not. I got bills too and no income. Yeah. What are you going to do for the next? I mean, it's probably going to be longer than a month, right? So it's a couple months that you just don't have a job, kids? No job. I'm asking Dave to hire me to run this foreplay pod, man.

I can get way better guess than any of you clowns. I mean, we got you. That's definitely true. That's pretty good. You get me all the time just because I'm bored riding around of my truck in South Carolina. What do you think about the Masters? I was texting you about it.

People are here from 25 minutes away from Augusta. people are float in September, October, the type of masters, the turf, the overseeding, the logistics with the football, what are they going to do? What do you think they're going to do with the Masters? Honestly, right now, I think 2020 is gone for the Masters. I don't see how we can play it. I mean, they're not even open in September. What are they going to do, change the whole aspect of the golf course and club to host

the Masters? I mean, they would. It would be a totally different. different golf course than what we play in the spring. I've heard the idea floated of taking a PGA date being it's in San Francisco, but who knows if we'll even be playing golf by then. I think this is going to be a long, drawn-out, a little off-season and the end-season. Like, you don't think, so what I've been kind of hearing is that the Masters is so important

to, obviously, the history and all the bullshit, but also the, actual city, like the town, like the hotels and all the restaurants and that if the master's tournament doesn't come there, that it's just devastating to the entire city so that a lot of the members are locals as well so that they'll find a way to make the masters happen. I feel like Augusta with all their resources and it's that. Like if it's a grass issue, they'll start earlier with overseeing. I feel like my sentiment is like Augusta can figure it the fuck out if there's one place on earth that could like change an entire course or do whatever is needed to make a spring tournament happen in the fall that they can just make it happen.

Yeah. Any other place we go to in the world to play golf, obviously. They run their entire club for that one week and the amount of effect they have on the economy in the CSRA is tremendous. But the entire world is shutting down. It's like curfews across the world and bars and restaurants closed in New York City. So everybody's economy is getting devastated. I'm not too worried about ours right now.

I think we all just need to get through this and get back to recovering some of my stock market losses and hopefully the panic ends soon. Riggs, how much do you love saying I've been hearing about the Masters? You're just a, you're a newsbreaker now. Well, it's a good question. You know, we've had our run-ins with golf media before. Our response is always that we're not journalists. We're just bloggers. I will say it's quite addicting.

Like when someone sends you a piece of information, it's Michael Scott from the office. He's just running around and he wants to be the guy that has the news, even if that news ruins lives in the office. So I'm heavily addicted right now to breaking news about the Masters, even if it's wrong. But so far, I've been fucking spot on. I was correct. and ahead of kids on Masters, Augusta National closed down,

and definitely, I tweeted that out earlier, and then it just became confirmed later in the day. I got this information, this one guy, these little tidbits are the best part. Like this guy's like, my wife is on the Board of Education for Georgia schools and said that Augustus is inquiring about extending the fall break, October 12th so that they can rent homes to families,

like put that out there. That needs to be out on the internet. And everybody, like, you know what people are texting? to the friends like Riggs tweeted this it's amazing I just hope I'm right but it's it's like it's crack cocaine right now it's awesome you think you beat me on knowing Augusta was closing down indefinitely no I beat you to posting it I didn't which is a life of somebody on the internet right there you wrote something that you were 76% confident and I said well you can be 100% and then I confirmed it and I also yeah I and I didn't wait

You confirmed his confirmation? Riggs? No, I'm saying... You just put Riggs in a pretzel. No, I'm saying, Kiz, I tweeted I had 76% certainty, and then Kiz confirmed it, and then I tweeted that I confirmed it.

Like, Kiz confirmed it private. Then I confirmed it to the internet. Got it. Look, don't fucking step on my game I've got going on here. Oh, man. Well, my big trip. on, you know, March 30th is postpones, too, so I'm a little disappointed myself. What big trip?

I always go to Augusta and play a big, spend the night. That's March 30th. You guys always do that? Around that weekend, whatever, I guess. Sometimes. Yeah, sometime that week. That sounds awesome. Sounds like the coolest trip I've ever heard of, and now I kind of want to just post

outside Augusta and wait for you guys to come up. We're not going anytime soon. Hold on. Kiz, let me tweet that that match is postposed. own real quick. You're going to confirm it? Who are you usually, who's going to play? Can you reveal that?

I know Brendan Todd and I think Jimmy Walker were coming. I don't know. Ricky and J.T. and Jordan were talking about doing a trip, but that's not going to happen. What a crew. You guys just get together before the Masters to play a tournament. Amazing. That's, I mean, what are we talking about here? wasn't it rumored that Tiger was like stationed at Augusta this week or last week?

Rigsie rumors. What do you got? I saw a picture. I saw a picture of his- No, I saw a picture of his plane. Bang. I'm talking about it.

I'm serious. Guy DM me a picture of his plane and said, hey, I work at the private airport just outside of Georgia and the private hangar. And he sent me a picture and it had the TGR load. on the back fin. So huge. Dave's fan? You've got to trust your sources, Lord.

You wouldn't understand. I trust more sources. So, kids, what's your like, are you going to try to keep your game sharp? Do you think it's going to be a couple months? What are people doing right now? What are you supposed to do? I'm a little bit lost. I'm not going to lay golf.

I mean, the weather's beautiful. My kids are out of school. Can't sit around the house all day. So I'll probably go kill a bunch of turkeys and fish and plague off. What's your favorite kind of fishing? You fly fishermen? Yeah, I like fly fishing, but I'm going to go down to the ocean this weekend and go red fishing, sheep's head fishing.

I don't even know what that is. No, no idea. You've never eaten a redfish or a sheep's head? Sheep's like Bay. Is that like the bronze? What? What's that Bill Murray movie, that new Bill Murray movie where he's like the neighbor to that kid

and he ends up having a good relationship with him? You know what I'm talking about, Trent? No, I don't. Oh, fuck. No, I don't. Oh, St. Vincent. Whatever. Sheep said Beck.

No, no, no, I just remembered it. Sheep said Bay is like a huge thing when he kept saying Sheep said, whatever. It is what it is. Go on. It was a dumb comment. What are you guys? Oh, man.

I'm hunkering. down, man. It's the end of times out here. What are we supposed to do? Dude, you can't go to restaurants, can't go to bars. I got my dad, my Borelli's is like we can't have anyone inside my family's restaurant. This is a nightmare. An absolute nightmare.

No NHL, no, nothing. NFL's just going about its day-to-day, just making trades all over the place. It's just the most surreal time in my life. It really is. Bet on the horses. I'm actually down in Charleston, South Carolina, so I might try to sneak in some golf down here. Yeah, Lurch just ran away.

Took a play in there tonight. You're two hours away for me and you don't want to plug off? I'll play. We'll rent a car, I'll be down there in a couple hours. I'm going to Polly's out. We can play tomorrow. I'm in. Jesus.

What the fuck? This is terrific. This is bullshit. We're going to go to the office for this. What are we doing it? We're at a cesspool. We're a petri dish of corona. I'm not leaving my apartment for the next four months.

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Arrageous, lurch, which just happened. It's just perfect. Snuck on the sketchiest. flight of all time last night and I'm going to play golf with kids. What was he? What was the airport like? Nobody was there. It was very weird, very eerie. The weirdest part was so when we're taxing out there's like four people on my plane, you know, like when you get on the tarmac and you get, it's kind of like the road system for the planes there before you get to the runway and there's those huge areas between the roads, they were just parked with planes. So they, like there was just

extra planes that weren't at the terminal that, you know, obviously weren't flying because there's just nobody's on the airplanes anymore. So when you were just taxing out to the runway, we probably passed 25 planes just stationed there, which was the weirdest part. Come on, that's fucking weird, man. Yeah, it was bizarre. It was bizarre. But, uh, you know, what do you do with the keys

to those airplanes when they're just parked there? It's a great question. They're not fucking cars, kids. How do you start a plane? I can't be keys. I will say when my grandfather was a pilot, used to use the, you used to yell, clear and then rip the propeller down.

And that's how you'd start a prop plane. I would literally see my grandfather. He'd go clear. And then he'd rip the propeller down and go, and then off it would go. Kids, planes can't start via key, right? I lost them.

But I didn't think that an airplane would start being a key. Yeah, they lose kids. New Hyundai launcher of airplanes does a push start. Like there's like somebody out there who's got like a janitor's key ring. that's just got all the planes keys on them. The co-pilots, like, you just step on the break first, and I'm going to start this thing up. Give it a little gas.

Give it a little gas. We lost kids, by the way. We lost kids. He'll be back, I think. I'm confident. He's driving through the middle of nowhere. I mean, it can't be fucking, it can't be keys, right? There's no way.

It's just a set of keys. Fuck you, Lurch. You're about to play golf with kids tomorrow. That's insane. That's absolutely insane what just happened. Great interaction. I thought I dropped that. I really didn't think about it until I was like,

wait, I'm in South Carolina. He can't be that far. He initiated it. Yeah, he did. That's exciting. He's like, you're not going to play golf. I'm going to play golf tomorrow. That's nuts.

The guys have to do. The guys I'm employed with nothing to do right now. I wish I could get a camera inside of Riggs's brain right now just to see the fireworks that are going off that he can't play with kids tomorrow. I'm looking at flights. It's 26 bucks to go to fucking rally in North Carolina. Yep, they're cheap right now. I'll be there before the end of the week.

I guarantee it. What a bunch of bullshit that was. It was a perfect back and forth. Oh, my. God. We all don't look great in these little video feeds as we're all kind of like huddled in various rooms trying to quarantine ourselves.

There's Jake waving. But Riggs looks like, you look like a six-year-old gamer. A good one? Kind of middle of the road gamer. Yeah, exactly. Who's that guy that comes in on night line and like busts all the pedophiles?

Chris Hanson. That's the guy who I think is just going to burst. into Trent's room right now. Trent just looks like either way and someone just burst through the door. We got them. I kind of got that look going on anyway. I got this headset on, so I'm wearing this. The only reason I'm wearing a winter hat, people can't see me if you're listening to the podcast,

I got a winter hat on because my roommate Robbie Fox was nice enough to give me his microphone headset, but it's kind of broken so it digs into my head. so I put on a winter hat. So that's why it's tough times right now. I got to tell you, man, being in the apartment, it's weird. And I feel like it's really going to last for so long that we're just at the beginning that I'm very terrified if we're being honest.

It's going to get very real, very quickly, I think. I think once this restaurant closure happens for the next week and people really see how much, you know, like takeout and all these cafes being closed and they're not going to be able to sit inside Starbucks and like normal life isn't going to be able to resume as they thought they would. I think next week and the end of this week is going to be real nerve-wracking.

I think the weekend's going to be an absolute nightmare with people trying to go out and it's going to be scary, I think. And then like supplies are going to start going down. I was saying even for like Borelli's in like our restaurant, what happens if the people that send us the supplies, right? Like the cheese manufacturers and like the guys that we'll get like even like something is like the paper straws like the place Restaurant Depot.

What if that place closes down that my dad gets all of his like produce from and all this stuff? like what like legitimately the entire economic system inside these towns could just shut down you won't be able to get food like how are grocery stores even going to like stay open if people are are forced to stay inside yeah so i've heard it's a lot of pickup outside that that's the way you're going to be able to like acquire items from grocery stores and things like that but i do think it is going to be a huge downturn for just all small businesses across the globe um like i can't even imagine also the the one the one the One side point, though, is I still can't believe that, like, Amazon and things like that are delivering good. So I gave that spiel of, okay, I touched the subway pipe and everybody touched that. You know, now I've touched them, in a sense, with coronavirus. Everybody touched that packet in order to get to your house. Like, what are we doing to keep those things clean?

I mean, I saw a couple packages that came to my brother's place the other day. I was like, don't touch those things. We got to spray those with disinfectant before you even look at that. I was interested when they said so. I don't think that's how it works. what's that well I was going to say like de Blasio being like all right starting tomorrow Tuesday we're going to shut down bars

restaurants movie theaters theaters theaters all these places restaurants in-house seating but you can still get food delivered to you which I'm grateful for because I don't cook I don't do any of that shit but it is strange that they're like we're shutting everything down but you can still have food brought to you by people who might have it again like I said I'm grateful for

because I don't cook and I do get a lot of takeout It is just strange that that's where they're drawn the lot. It's that simulation, man. Do you guys see those simulations where it's like the difference between doing no social distancing and then doing like try to force quarantine and then doing like seven out of eight people in society are doing social distancing and like the seven out of eight works. If you go full quarantine, it doesn't work. The system like breaks down, melt down.

You have total anarchy. If you don't do enough, then it just spreads and everybody eventually gets it. And then if you do like the seven, eights, which is like pretty intensive social distancing, it's supposed to like work the best. And I already saw too, like in China, and you got to take it with a grain of salt. It's fucking China. But in China, they said that like they're already going back to work and stuff. So like clearly taking the measures, we can like learn from what they've done and try to like figure it out.

Jake just told me to turn down my mic a little bit. Yeah, when you speak into it, like you got into that conversation there a little bit, you got real like hyped up because you want to talk about China and all the facts that you knew. Right. A little too close to the sun and it started a redline a little bit. But it's okay. We got through it. Yeah, started burning up a little bit.

Yeah. The part of like where I. Go ahead. It's true like what you said. Like if we can just all listen to it, um, we can take with like China and Italy and all these places are doing, which by the way, Italy is just like burning to the ground right now. People are dying every single day now. It's like they have no, hundreds.

They have no, um, hospital beds. They can't like, they can't treat anyone. Even if you don't have Corona, it's like a very nerve-wracking town to be in Italy right now. Even if you have just like a regular sickness, if you have cancer or anything else, they are like, they have no hospital beds there. Nightmare. But the only problem that I have with what we're doing here is like no one's listening. So it's either you do it all or you don't do it.

It's like, it's kind of like even in our office, we got an email. It's like, hey, we're not going to be closed. But if you guys don't want to come in, don't come in. But, you know, if you do or if you don't, like, we're not going to judge you either way. Like we want you guys to all like do whatever you feel best for yourself. Like if you tell me that, like I'm instant. just throwing everything that you just set out the window and I'm just showing up to work because like that's giving me no option. It's the same with the restaurants. Like if the restaurant's going to be open, I'm just going to go there because like you're telling me I can technically. You're saying I probably should stay home and if I feel unsafe, I will stay home, but we're going to open and the food's going to be the same and the service is going to be the same and whatever. Life's going to go on. So it's like you can't have it both ways. Like I need like definitive don't do this or else it doesn't help me. I hate being in the middle. It's a nightmare situation being in the middle. Hence why I'm at work today. I'm also a huge pussy. I'm the biggest pussy in the

world. My plan, I text you guys this is by the end of this week, I will be at Pinehurst. I think that's my plan. I'm going to get out of here. I got to go somewhere where I actually saw an article too that golf golfing is like the best activity you can do while still like actually participating in activity and practicing social distancing. Golf's great because you're very rarely within like six feet of each other. There's only three other people that max that you would spend the whole four and a half, five hours with. So golf, social distancing, actually works. So I'm going to get the fuck out of this city,

is my plan before it shuts down completely. I think airports are next. I think it's going to be a full shutdown like you're saying, Frankie. I think this like half measure stuff doesn't work. They're getting closer to doing the whole thing. Public schools are closed. Restaurants are closed. We've talked about that.

I think eventually they're going to shut the whole fucking thing down for like, and I don't think like a week or two weeks works. I think it has to be like a month or two months. And I would way rather be stuck on a fucking golf course than stuck in this shithole New York City, no offense, Frankie. Yeah, I agree. The only thing I've thought about the golf example, you've got to be worried about the pins.

Can't be touching the pins. Everybody's touching those pins. So from now on, I'm truly a pin end guy when putting. You're a little too neurotic, I think, about the whole thing. I think that's the way to be, though. I would agree with that. I don't think you're wrong in saying that, but I definitely, I've thought about, you know, each of these examples.

And golf is certainly the best one, but you've got to be careful about the pen. I'll have disinfectant lights if I play with kids. How many times during a round of golf would you purel, you think? I mean, depends. First, I clean all my grips before I play, just in case. You think it's been on your grips the whole time? Who knows? Just, I don't know.

There's no sense why not clean them? How would it have gotten there and how would it have stayed alive there? Buddy, I don't know, but here's my thing. Why not? Right. right. Like are you disinfecting in your entire bed before you get in it? Are you disinfecting like the entire toilet before you sit down?

Like are you disinfecting literally everything in the world? When I flew down last night, one of the first things I did was to actually take my clothes and just throw them in the washing machine. That didn't answer my question though. What was your direct question? Like if you're going to disinfect your grips on your clubs, wouldn't you have to disinfect everything that you come in contact with? So like all your sheets, all your pillows, all everything, every time you get in bed?

I think these are all good advice. Yeah, I don't think that's wrong. I'm not going to say that that's wrong. Right. Like, I'm here to stay clean. I mean, I, I, usually to see me last night, I had a little bottle of hand sanitizer. And then I probably unpacked maybe like 15 little liceol wipes that I kept in a little plastic bag. And I got as soon as I got it in my airplane seat, I just started to clean him.

You know, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'd rather be that guy than the other guy or, you know, whoever the basketball guy is, Roddy. Rudy Gobert. Yes, making fun of it. And then getting it. No, no, no. I'm not here to make fun of it. I'm here to respect it.

Avoid it at all costs. Boys, I watched the couples retreat last night. Have you guys ever seen that movie? What's that? Yeah, good movie. Oh, my God. one of the most underrated funny movies I think I've ever seen.

It is so fucking funny. It's like Vince Vaughn, Jason Bateman. It's just a whole good crew in there. And there's a whole scene where they're all stretching and doing yoga and this like really hot, like European dude comes to teach them

how to do like the yoga stances. And he's like taking all the girls and like the way he's like positioning them. He just keeps doing this little move or he's like, boom. Vince Vaughn's face is so classic. He's like, now what the fuck are you doing with my wife? wife.

It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen my time. I don't know why it hit me just now. It's just like I have to keep talking about how funny that movie is. The middle lineback from the replacements is in that movie, right? Yes. I love that guy. Yes. That guy's terrific.

He kills that role of being like super fired up about stuff. He's one of my favorite. Isn't that John Favro? Yes. Yeah, it is. Is it? John Favro is in this. It's amazing that your reference point for John Favro.

And I'm not the middle linebacker in the replacements. He made. Iron Man, he just did the Mandalorian. He's one of the most famous directors in the world. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's that crazy middle lineback from the replacement. Robbie Fox. Never knew he was a director. Not a movie guy. One of the best directors

of our time, which is nuts. I guess so. Those mentioned, or those movies you just mentioned are phenomenal. I just thought he was an actor. No, I live with Robbie Fox, so maybe I'm closer to it. But there's... You're right. But there are rumors that they're just going to, like, give John Favreau the Star Wars franchise and be like, do what you want with it. That's how famous he is. He's a better actor.

I would say. Him and the replacements is one of the best. He'll get me to football and then he gets the football and comes back. He's got some funny parts. If you guys have not heard about Roan, you're really missing out. Roan is a men's performance lifestyle and premium active wear brand that is engineered for unparalleled quality and comfort. They're an absolute necessity for guys on the go.

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promo code four for 20% off Rhone.com slash four. promo code for. MLB is pushing their season back for eight weeks. Eight weeks? Then I can start like resuming even like spring training. Wow. It was what two weeks before? Yeah, it's crazy, man.

Crazy. They got a shortnessy. Like, what the hell is the NHL going to do now, though? Like, you're going to come back. Like, Gary Bettman said that everyone has to be self-quarantined. Oh, is he back? No, it's not green. Oh.

I actually heard they're going to be 24 teams in the NHL, Frank. I can talk about that after, though. Yeah, the playoffs. It's a nightmare. That's so stupid. It's good kids back, though. Kids are you there? Yeah, I'm back, dog.

Wow. Amazing. Where'd you go? I was in the country and services shoddy. Let's go back to planes. You think they just have a big key chain with keys for planes? I don't know what happens. I always wonder that on wheels up planes.

Like if they change in and out, they're on aid the plane keys with the FBO. Got to be a better system. Seems like the FBO could just cruise in there and still a plane when they wanted to. We'll get Ben in there. His grandfather was a pilot. It'll fly that thing right out of there. Easy, peasy. Take right off.

Kids, what's Dewey? You have to, like, pay Dewey during this time? Actually, we can't pay anybody. Nobody's rooting for the market harder than Dewey right now. Right. I'll get a tax refund for my first time ever this year. Let's talk about a match with Lurch. How many strokes Lurch is going to need?

Oh. man, he's got no chance. Probably true, but I'll take my 14. Riggs got 14. We're about the same. Burt's shot of 78 at Spanish Bay. I did. Yeah, 78, six birdies. Yeah, we weren't too far back, but we probably played it from 68 or something like that.

Maybe shorter. Riggs, do you remember? Yeah, around there. I don't think it matters. No, it doesn't. Because he put down six birdies. Like, that's got, you know, if you're giving him a chit ton of strokes, he's got potential to take down some holes here.

If the guys, if the guys get in the ball in the hole six times under par, you know, how are you going to, he could stretch me out to seven, too. What did you say, Kiz? I'm already nervous. I don't know if I'll be able to make the T-Town tomorrow. He doesn't know if he could beat a seven handicap. Yeah, with 14 shots. Are you guys going to play? A thousand.

Oh, no. Oh, I think we might have lost. I'll be wherever Kiz needs me to be. How far is the drive? Do you know, Lerick? I don't know. I'll give it a question. I feel like, it's two hours and you look it up as you get it's like a six hour drive.

Lurch, imagine. He was like, yeah, let's go play at Augusta and then just like completely just blacks out. He never gets service again and you don't hear from him for the next two weeks and then it's over. He goes, sorry, I was in the country. There's no service out there. No, we were getting in one last round of Augusta National, but you could have came. You could have been part of the trip with all the pros that I mentioned. We had an extra spot.

We only had seven. Oh, fun. So if you got 14, I wonder what that match would look like. I don't have to rent some clubs, which is a hiccup. You didn't bring any clubs? No. I didn't have my travel bags in your place or at our place. What I mean my place?

I own the place now? Well, no, but after your putting video, you know, you were there more recently than I was. And you should have made, I would say, eight puts. Eight of those, yeah. You made six? Well, you're right, if I would have taken the balls out. But you know that the eight. I know the rules of the apartment.

I'm not saying the ball gives you a backboard because those cups, they're so thin, and we have hard floors that the ball, if it goes in with, like, anything but perfect, like, deadweight pace, it'll bounce right out. So when you keep the ball in, it'll actually serve as a backboard and keep it in. But in that case, I hit the put so perfectly that it just kissed off and didn't go in the cup. It's true. It's true. I just checked two hours, three minutes.

Kiz is spot on with his distance control here in South Carolina. You're going to be playing golf with kids. I can't believe you to bring your clubs. I know. I'm thinking about just texting my dad right now and be like, can you just overnight my clubs and I'll just pay whatever it is. And be like, dad, can you just fly them? Can you just jump in?

You know how to fly right? It's in your family. It's just like just grab a plane and fly the clubs to wherever you are. Mom's side. But yeah, I think he could do it. He could start the old problem. Just pull it down. Oops, hit the lamp.

Frankie, I got some stats for you. Yeah, what is this? I saw this. Where did you pull these stats? So somebody hit me up. Our guy Joe did our fitting. Remember we did our title list fitting like two years ago? Yes.

Our guy Joe hit me up. He was catching up with podcasts. And he was like, you guys were talking about stats, ball speed, club head speed, and all that. And we were way fucking off. We were like people driving off the side of the road because we were saying that like our club head speeds are like 200. And so he pulled stats. And he said that he took a screenshot that he sent me that for me. that from your best drive of that day, I think it was,

you hit one 301. You remember that one? We all be crazy. Oh, yeah. You're, it had 279-yard carry, 20 yards a roll, 22 yards a roll, 301. Your club head speed was 112, and your ball speed was 165.

Damn, I absolutely stepped into that one. So he said that the tour average club head speed is 113, which is one mile an hour faster, but the average ball speed, I think, is around like 160 or so. So your ballhead speed was actually like faster. So that swing, I had just about the same club head speed and a faster ball speed than the average PGA Tour Pro. Correct. That's nuts.

And I do remember I flushed that golf ball to the point where because I was hitting them like 255 with like a roll to like 272. And then one, I hit like 290. And we were like, oh, okay, I think. I can get 300. Like I was jacked up. And man, that's awesome. I would love to see what my averages, though. I mean, nightmare.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, night day difference. But we were talking, we were trying to figure out. But yeah, the average ball, like I think, I want to say Tiger, when he came back again, was in like 180. He was getting over 180 on some of his ball speeds off the drop fucking crazy town. Like think about how hard you stepped in and laced that one. and yours was 165.

Imagine Tiger being like 17, 18 miles an hour faster than that. Think about Bryson getting 200. What is that number? That's fucking 35 miles an hour faster. How is that possible? What a psycho? Oh my God. While we're talking about Corona stuff,

I think we should try to, I mean, we talk a little bit about the schedule. I was trying to think like the fucking PGA championship is supposed to be May 11th through 17. that's in two months from now. You got to think there's no chance that happens in San Francisco, which that place is a train wreck right now. So you got to think there's no chance that happens.

U.S. Open is a month after that at Wingfoot. Wingfoot is literally five minutes away from where the National Guard has their presence because they're enforcing like a fucking quarantine, like a couple mile radius quarantine because of New Rochelle, all the case is there. That's where the fucking U.S. Open supposed to be in three months. where you do? You're getting weird over there, Frankie?

I'm just sitting back. My back is hurting. I'm starting to feel achy. I don't want to really start spreading some stuff, but my lungs hurt. My back hurt. Your lungs hurt. It's a respiratory thing. You're like the girl who cries.

My lungs, I'm not, I mean, coming from a guy literally sprinted away and flew away from the city because you're so afraid and you're lifesauling, your fucking eyebrows. Like, I mean, come on. I'm telling you, I feel just achy. I don't know what it is. Two of the symptoms are body feels achy and it's a respiratory thing

so you're just in the office right now and you're probably giving it to everybody. Is that hold your breath thing? There's no validity there. I just want to double check that and put that out to our listeners to verify that. That was a fake thing.

Okay. I've been holding my breath all the last two days trying to see if I can get to 10. Yeah, same. I'm still doing it from time to time, just to double check. Jesus Christ. That's fake.

I know it's fake, but you know, hey. Then what's the point doing it if you know it's fake? Somewhere in your mind it makes you feel better because maybe it's not. We don't know. You don't know, Riggs. Well, said Trent, Danny. The CDC said it's fake. What do they know?

Not that much, apparently. You're them being like them saying for eight weeks, you can't have gatherings of more than 50 people. When that went down, it's like, all right, that means no sports. Like you're saying Riggs about the PGA and the U.S. Open. in terms of when we're going to see these things actually happen, I actually don't know because the fact that the PGA is supposed to be in two months, May 11th, right now in no conceivable way in any scenario, is that even close to happening?

Like we are so at the tip of the iceberg with this thing it feels like. And again, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a scientist. I just know what I see on Twitter. But it seems like this is going to get a whole lot worse bleeding into May before it gets even a little bit better. So for people, not that people are, but to look at the PGA and be like,

all right, maybe that'll happen. Zero percent chance. Zero. Yeah, I agree. And then you start thinking like, well, what the fuck is the schedule going to look like? And once we get, let's say this thing does subside, it starts to backtrack, it starts to recede, and we get to like June. Well, then we have to do a master's, a PGA, a U.S. Open, a British Open, some sort of like

FedEx cup playoffs, an Olympics, a Ryder Cup. And then maybe the matches at the end of that, if we didn't do it at the beginning, all in like a three or four month period while doing the other PGA tournament. Like I don't know that these other tournaments can just fucking kick out like one of these other tournaments. I don't want to use, I don't want to disparage any of tournaments. But like, I agree. At some point you got to just. You get a tournament in?

No, I don't. I can't think one. Okay. John Deere Classic, that's like the epicenter of this fucking thing. I mean, if you don't think. What the fuck are you talking about? You knew her shells right down the street from you. Nothing's going on in the middle of the country.

We'd all be way safer. I should have taken a flight like a fucking, I should have taken a flight of the Lurchison. I should be in Cedar Rapids right now. Listen to me, they should just, at some point, just end all these seasons. What's going to happen in the next three months or four months,

it's going to be just absolute chaos with all these events going on, all these major tournaments, the Masters in October in the middle of like NFL play, I mean, NFL and like MLB playoffs and all these things. If the MLB playoffs or even, in October now because like the MLB is not going to start until fucking like August at this point. NHL is going to come back with like a 24 team like playoff scenario in which they're going to

play until like the middle of August. Meanwhile, then they're going to want these guys back in September for camp for the next year. It's like we're just completely ruining what's going to happen that like in the fall, which is usually the best time of sports. Like every like we should just reset and just end everything right now. There's no sense in squeezing everything in it. It's going to not only ruin what's going on now, but it's going to ruin next year. too. Listen, I hear what you're saying,

and that's probably the right way to do it. I don't know if they'll do it. But the only problem with that is then Jack Nicholas wins, and it doesn't give Tiger more chances and more majors. That's the problem. Motherfucker. So Jack Nickleck. I have that loud funny statements. Jack Nicholas is clearly the biggest proponent of canceling the masters in the world for obvious reasons. I mean, you don't have to be a fucking rocket scientist

to figure it out. The more chances Tiger Woods has to play, the better chance that he catches and beats Jackie close and officially puts him, you know, I'm not going to say anything too rude. But everybody understands that. He came out and said, I think they made a wise decision and I support it. Yeah, no shit you support it.

He said, I don't think anybody wants to go to Augustine and get sick. There's people coming from all over the world and chances of people bringing something are great. In all practicality, they are postponing, but I can't see any way they would play it at a later day. How in the world could they work it in this schedule?

It wouldn't be fair to any other tournament. that are later. I think they're probably going to miss the Masters this year. That's just my opinion, but I think it makes logistical sense. What the fuck you talk about, Jack Neples? We're not going to have the tournament. The Masters can do whatever they want.

Yes, I just mentioned tournaments, and it's not going to be fair. Who gives a fuck if it's fair or not? The Masters tournament is more important than every other PGA tour event combined. Fucking Justin Thomas came out and said, I don't care if it's 25 degrees and nobody is there. I'm going to play it with it.

chance to win masters. That's, that's just correct. You could literally cancel every tournament on the PGA tour schedule. You could say like November 15th, they're just playing the masters, right? Like, no other event has occurred. Nobody's played professional golf. On November 15th, there's just going to be the masters. And it would be the biggest spectacle. Everybody would come, everybody would participate. It would mean the world. It would mean just as much. They're going to figure out a way to play the master's. That's my opinion. Jack. Of course, Jack doesn't want them to have a fucking masters, obviously. hilarious from Jack just saying there's no chance, no way.

In practicality, they're not going to do it. People are going to be getting sick. It's just a classic case of like even when we're at the office here, we're all talking about how bad this is. So like maybe someone in charge will like hear us be like, oh yeah, you know, it's actually a good idea. All these people like, you know, that's exactly what Jack's doing right now. Like he won't stop until he gets what he wants.

And what he wants is Tiger to never play golf again. Unfortunately for him, like this is actually helping Tiger. He's getting healthy. He's not showing up to golf tournament. when he's being forced to or he's not like getting ready quickly for the Masters even though right now like his back is kind of tight and we were all nervous about how he was going to perform. If they run the Masters in September, October, Tiger gets a couple months off,

gets that back completely healthy. Oh man, he's done. Jack might accidentally slash on purpose but dial Fred Ridley and have the conversation that's happening be like, oh my gosh, the coronavirus is the worst thing in the world. There's no way we can have the Masters. Just like so Fred Ridley is just sort of listening in on his conversation. because the thing is Jack Nicholas's opinion in terms of golf tournaments and if they should be played or not, it matters. Like people are going to listen to him and be like, oh, maybe

we shouldn't play his terms because he's saying it. Hopefully there's a couple voices in those rooms that are like us and they're like, well, it's pretty clearly that he doesn't want Tiger to beat his record. It's not actually about the coronavirus. Totally. I mean, he's next thing you know, Jack's going to be at dinner with like the officials from the PGA of America and he's going to be at dinner with Seth Walsh. You see all that bad stuff going on in San Francisco. I don't know if you guys should ever do that, PJ. And then it's going to pop up.

He's up at fucking Vamarnak, New York. He's at dinner with the USDA guys with Mike Davis, and he's just planting it all their brains. Like Frankie's saying, this whole idea of like, oh, I saw this rumor. It's really intimately here. I don't know you about it is. He's trying to cancel the tournaments,

and it's what he should be doing. I was Jack Nicholas. I've been doing the same fucking thing. I'm doing the exact same thing. He's pro-corona. It's pretty clear. Of course he is. It's the best thing ever happened to.

Clear is crystal there. I mean, you heard here first. Jetalyst pro-coronavirus. Yep. No doubt about it. With home security, there's two ways you can go about protecting your home. There's the traditional way where you wait weeks for a technician to do a messy installation that causes small fortune, or there's the other way.

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That's simply safe.com slash foreplay. Breaking news. Okay. Breaking news. Idris Elba has coronavirus. Nightmare. my God the most healthy guy of all time probably

he's so fit best looking guy stringer bell Idraselba he's got coronavirus just broke these guys get it my fucking head hurts you gotta get out of that office pal you gotta get away from us

what am I doing here you guys no no I was gonna ask me doing pizza that's not a podcast conversation no that's just you just were trying to catch up with your buddy. I know.

It is strange. I don't normally I see you guys every single day in the office and we talk about things. And then we go on and we do the podcast. We talk about other things. But now I don't talk to you guys face to face. So I got to get my regular conversations out. Let me tell. You know,

the world right now is a scary place. Everything looks like it's going to shit. Let me take you guys back to the year 14, 15. Okay. Okay. In this year, in this year, In this year in 1415, the French were anticipating a victory over the English in this battle called the Battle of Agencourt.

I don't know if you guys know about this battle. Famous battle. So the French were anticipating to win this victory. It's super interesting story here. The French are anticipating to win this victory over the English like tomorrow, right? Or it's coming up. This like Battle of Agon court. And what they had proposed was to cut the middle finger off of all these English soldiers that they were,

they would capture like prior to the Battle of Agancourt. By doing this, like what they thought was that they would stop these English fighters from being able to use the long bow, which is a famous, you know, a famous bow that the English army would use back in the 1400s. So by cutting off these people's middle finger, they would, even if they escaped capture or whatever, they wouldn't further be able to use that bow in battle. It was a strategic thing that they would do whatever. Turns out the English actually had a major upset and beat the French in this battle of Agencourt.

And what the French did, what the English did was they would actually wave their middle finger at the French and be like, we can still pluck the U. Because what they would call the U is like the U is the U bow, right? That's what they didn't want them to shoot and they would cut off their middle finger. So they would actually wave their middle finger at them being like, we can still pluck the U. and it went on for years and years, pluck you and all that stuff. And story goes is that it originally turned into fuck you. The pluck you was hard to say. And it would actually be like, we're going to give you the middle finger.

So that's just a little origin story in the middle finger. And what's funny is that in that bow, there was a pheasant feather that was used in the bow. So they would call it giving people the bird or flipping people the bird. Love it. I'm in. That's the history of the middle finger. That's just a little fact there It's actually pretty interesting

Cutting people's fingers off You know you lose a battle You think you're gonna win People flipping that middle finger back at you Classic case of a underdog story Right there for the English I like it Has to be true

Has to be true That's too good I think it's It's got war A war or Too many numbers The dates There's too many like real

Countries involved You hit me with too much knowledge To question that one I had to accept it I think I had to accept it I don't know if you had you really got me with the pheasant feather part that part flipping the bird that really

got me but how about the act of drawing a long bow arrow is called plucking the you that's like what that that's called almost like tickling the ivories when you play the piano plucking the you so they would say pluck you when you kept saying pluck you I just

felt like a university or something like you know like some sort of or like a ridiculous TV show about fucking you know college pluck you yeah there you go And next time you give someone the middle finger, just think about people getting their fucking middle fingers chopped off in 1415 before the Battle of Agon court. That's Frankie's Fax.

That's it. How often are people submitting Frankie's Fax to you? Man, I'm getting so many good ones. Like, legitimately, that one was, like, interesting to me. So, like, that's why I, like, repeat these things. Like, some of them are so dumb, but so... You've had any of them or do you just read them? Some of them are just too quick.

Like, someone wrote Frankie Fact in Alabama, putting salt on a railroad track is punishable by death. Like, I don't even know what that means. No, that one's not fun. The fun ones that have payoffs that are still reverberating to the current day. Origin stories. Yeah, origin stories. Rule of thumb.

The bouquet, pluck you. Those all have like long story. I love them. I love them. I love them. They're one of my favorite things because I like not even betting them afterwards. I just go out into the world, well, I don't now because I'm in quarantine. But I go out into the world theoretically and I just tell people,

and then they're like, is that true? And I just say yes. And that's it. Do you know what I said the other day? And I think I said there's somebody here. I don't know. Anyways, that the guy from Green Mile, you know, the big black dude, that he is short. That's just a lie.

He's dead, right? Yeah, I don't think he's alive. Well, then I was wrong on a couple fronts. I really liked him in that movie. But I thought he was super short. Somebody along my life had told me that he was like five, and I just believed it the whole time. And I told some people that the other day

and that was just a complete lie. Six-five. He died in 2012. Yeah, he's dead. Damn. There's another. Real sad thing you brought up there. Another fact for you.

I know what it was going that way. I apologize. The term hands down, you know where that comes from? No. Like a wave. So it comes from horse racing. Actually, whenever you're in front of the pack and it looks like you're going to win the race,

you're able to take your hands off the reins and go hands down. So like when you say like, oh, hands down, no chance. Like we're going to win hands down. It means like, you know what I mean? You can just breeze right through. You can breeze right through the finish line. Hands down. Take your hands off the reins.

We're getting a lot of them. I like that one too. Well, it's a quarantine episode. So, you know, I figured I'd come with a couple facts. I can't wait to have fucking hands down. I'm going to dust lurch next time I play golf against them. Hands down. Hands down.

There's no shot you ever beat me again. Riggs actually were walking off a tee box. and he looked at me and he goes, I think there's a legitimate chance that I'm just never better than you ever at golf again. Yeah, I said that. You're coming off to fucking freak around at Spanish Bay where we had six birdies

and then he starts to play the tips at Glen Oaks, 45 degrees out, we play the tips like assholes, but we're just trying to have fun. There's nobody in the course, quarantine round, whatever. And it's 7,200 yards, and he starts par birdie. He birdied the second hole is a 235 yard par three down the hill he had a five ironed on like six feet and made pretty and I was just like

what are the little fuck are we doing in this game of golf now like is this just our our the future is present like this is just what we're doing now as Lurge is just like a plus two handicap hurting every fucking other hole that we play and then he fell apart after I didn't play nearly as well no it was fun start though yeah it's infuriating

um from the gallery we got a couple from the galleries to get to. While we're on subject, I'll bring it up. Connor said that he played D3 golf in upstate New York, said he's a freshman handicap is a five. Last podcast, Lurge said he was playing as well as a D3 golfer. Just curious, but do you guys think you can beat a D3 golfer in a stroke play match? This guy's like a five handicap and he's like whatever middle of the pack on the team that I think definitely. I think like you, the way you're playing right now, you can definitely take some D3 golfers.

I think so, but I mean, you know, if he's a five and I'm a seven, he's going to win more matches than I'm going to win. But I think I could take him in a couple matches. Out of ten matches, I win three. What do you think about that? Yeah, what do you think? Against the, it's pens. Like, there's such things like good, five's a bad, you know, we all know that.

Totally. Yeah, I mean, I think I could compete at the, like, the middle of the road D3 level. I think that's fair. Yeah, I think that's probably fair. That's what I would agree with, too. I think my comment, though, that I made was more so we were talking about my iron game. Not so my whole game, just my iron play, being, you know, somewhere in a decent college golfer range.

Some kid actually ping me was like, I play bad division one golf. And if you hit it like that, there's a chance that, like, it's probably a bad division one game. You can't say pinged. I need you to stop saying ping. I said that because, I mean, this is this meeting here we're having. is literally an introduction into the software sales world. This is sucks. Me, Riggs and Frankie work too damn hard to get out of a regular office

to have Lurch in our D and not our DMs, in our text group on our podcast, being like, hey, can I ping that guy to see if he can do that for me? Oh, this guy ping me to come play golf. No, no, no, no. We work too damn hard for you to be saying. Yeah. Okay, thanks everyone for joining the conference today.

I just want to start you all off with a happy Monday. I hope you guys had a great weekend. We're actually going to let this one go with Ben. You can take us off and let us know how the software engineering life, it's just like, oh, fuck you. Like, I can't even make fun of it. It makes me sick to my summit. That was great, Frankie.

I should ask you to come and kick off meetings exactly like that. Pluck you. Appreciate that. William says that, Frankie said a few episodes ago, nobody dies on the golf course. The guy says that that is just wrong. In fact, it's the most deadly sport in the U.S.

Hundreds if not. Come on. First of all, Frankie facts. What did Frankie say nobody dies in the golf? I don't know. What conversation can we have plots have been happening? I have no idea, but I believe that he said it at some point. And this guy said hundreds, if not thousands, die on the golf course.

workers being struck by a ball in heart attacks would be the most common. Cart accidents don't help. Now, I brought this up because, like, we got a fact check. Golf's the most deadly sport in the U.S. Can't be. Well, think about it this way. Think about it this way. More deadly than football?

The median age of golf has to be higher than any other sport in the world, right? So you're definitely going to have some old people dying out there on the golf course. So can you, like, the problem is you don't die from playing the sport. you just die while playing the sport. That's what your argument is. It's so long and you're so old, but you're bound to die at some point. Right.

So, like, playing football, people die playing football more than they do playing golf. That'd be like saying, like, hospitals are the most deadly places in the country. It'd be like,

well, no, people go there that are sick and then they die. Yes. But when Frankie, when Frankie on some podcast in the past, say people don't die on golf courses because if people...

are just dying on golf courses, then that doesn't matter if they died because of something that happened out there. Oh, no. Sneeze, Frankie sneeze. Get out of the office. Oh, my God, dude. Then you have the virus.

Yeah, I'm dying for sure. I just sneezed all over this room. Why are you here? I don't know. I mean, I wasn't sick. Now my eyes fucking tearing. I don't know, man. I think I'm in my own head.

I think I literally just willed that sneeze out of me. You wield yourself sick with your crazy brain. spoken into existence. So somebody, somebody's going to have to fact check that, hit us with some info on if golf is really the most deadly sport in the U.S. seems unlikely. Running a business.

I don't think that as a Frankie fact before you keep going. Frankie falls a lot. I'm also going to keep that Frankie has always said nobody dies on the golf course. That is just real. Yeah, then people are just going to be, every time there's a story about somebody dying at golf course, everyone's going to tweet it at you. Be like, like, what an idiot.

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no for me of all time easiest know of all time easiest know of all time? Maybe that's an overstatement. I'll back off that. I've had easier nose before in my life. But no, I cherish the ability. But someone said you should go on a diet? Shut off, you idiots.

Boom, roasted. You're sick. No, he has the coronavirus and now he's lashing. My nose is running right now. But no, my answer would be. Head is a nightmare. I think if you get cough, that's the real problem. Yeah, you don't want to cough.

So right now I just have a little cold. also need a temperature. So I should have a little colder now? My nose is... I don't know what you have, but I haven't heard yet the clear symptoms of corona. Okay.

Going back to the question, I'm a no. I cherish the ability to play like a net new golf course that you haven't played before. That was so mean. I've never had an easier know in my life. I said when someone asked you to fucking go on a diet.

You just liked the joke. So now you're going to repeat it again. It was well done. That's a joke that would have worked if we were on studio. because we're all talking over each other it makes it harder

to make it land but it's a very funny joke he just doesn't have a voice that lands true yes or no for me I would love one of those houses

off the 18th is going to be one of the nicest houses in the world I know we just so to go off that the thing that factored in my question

is then I can potentially retire is those houses go for like 30 or 35 million dollars right it's it is obviously about the course and you're getting to play one of the best courses in the world, obviously.

But on top of that, you just get one of the best houses in the world as well. And I get not one, not being able to play other golf courses would be an issue, but I might just do it for the house. And in like a fake life area too. Like that area is outrageous. Like everything, you know, you just walk outside of your house. You have the most beautiful scenery of all time in your backyard. Plus how many people belong to a country club and just play that country club for the rest of their life?

They just like play the same golf course every single day. every like you know maybe you play 15 times a summer you just play that one club like i understand at some point you can take a golf trip or play someone else's club but like imagine your country club just being pebble beach the day you're the day you accept that is the same day kid's ass if you can play augusta yeah but it's like sorry man i'm going to sit in my 35 million house and just play pebble beach which is like arguably like just as awesome yeah i mean not as awesome as augusta but i'm a hard now what are you frank I think I'm a yes.

I think it's a coin toss. Wow. Dude, you legit, you don't have to do anything ever again in life. You live in like a 30 or 40 million dollar house and you just get to play golf every day and that golf happens to be Pebble Beach. Yes, you miss out on buddy strips. You miss out on the thrill of playing other courses and how awesome that is. It's like my favorite thing in the world. But like you never have to go to work.

You never have to fucking leave Monterey Peninsula. Like you just people come to you. Imagine like buddies trips where everybody comes and stays at your castle on the 18th hole at Pebble. You guys just play Pebble Beach every day. Be insane. Is it Pebble Beach or is it Pebble Beach resorts? That's two different things. The guy didn't draw up a contract,

I don't know. I'm just rereading the question. Would you take a lifetime membership to Pebble Beach with your house steps away from the 18th? He said never play another course. I would assume it should be a beach the golf course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a no. I'm a yes.

Yes. all yeses except me. It's tough, but I think yes. Lurch said it was the easiest no all the time. Crazy time. Same to saying no to a dot. Clayton said, I hit balls at the range at a local course near my house.

The range buckets often contain barely used premium balls because the range is directly adjacent to the first fairway. What are your thoughts on picking some of these high-quality balls for my own use? If you're not doing that, you're blind or you're a moron. Or you're like, yeah, everybody takes the nice balls out of the range buckets, right? Yeah, I've done horrible things at ranges. I once had this little thing going on where I would take one.

Well, I think I've actually said this. It was just stealing. I took one ticket and I would go up to bolt machines and type in the number at the same time. Both balls would come out. The software wasn't nearly smart enough to understand that it was coming out of both machines and I would get two buckets for one. And I would do that all summer long. And those were with shitballs, right?

Yeah, shit balls. But, I mean, I'm just saying that because if I have to do that, I'm obviously taking the premium balls that come out of that. Right. You have no morals when it comes through driving me. No. No, man. I ran a muck around those things.

That was a problem. But like, how much is that the thing that you used to do were the two of the ones? How much is that really hurt in business? Like in terms of, I'm still hitting the balls out into the thing. Right.

You're not taking them. It's just like I would have probably paid an extra $750 for the other bucket. I guess that's the part. Yeah. But yeah, I would take those balls but I was that guy who wrote it. I don't take those balls. My distinction is,

if I find that nice ball in the fair way or somewhere around the golf course, I will take that ball and use that ball. But if it's part of the driving range, I won't. I also love how those balls end up there. It's all the classic. You just hit a full 90 balls at the range and the last one was absolute shit.

And you're like, I can't end on that one. So you reach it to your bag and get a pearly white titleless brofews. you're like, all right, like, I just got, who cares? Just one ball. And then you stripe it and you feel so much better. That's how that ball ends up in that fucking. Totally worth it.

To go to that first team with that better feeling, totally worth it. Have to. Last one. Would you rather ace the 17th of TBC Sawgrass during the players championship, the 16th at the waste management during the waste management, or the 16th hole at the Masters? Depends what kind of golfer I am. Am I like an all-time great golfer?

Like am I trying to win the Masters? Or am I just like your average, Zach Johnson, just like showing up and like, like moments don't come around that often? Like you want to make a huge splash. I think it's the 16th at the waste management. I think it goes viral. I think it's like a everyone remembers that moment. Like, you know, they got the whole one there.

I mean, 16 is great too. Like I've seen great moments at 16 before. I don't know if you guys have. But what? what I'm trying to say is that I think like socially and all and like just like that age group everyone just remember throwing the beers onto the fucking 16th at the waste management it would be just like an eruption of a stadium it's almost like hitting a walk off home run at a baseball game it's just like I don't know I just pick I pick the waste management I am I almost think I was it's really really hard not to say the masters but I think a whole and one at 16 at the the waste management is like more epic and more memorable. I really do. Like I think, yeah, I think like the reaction, the crowd was Franceso Mollaro, I believe,

got one like three or four years ago and it was like off the charts. Tiger has his from like 97 and whatever that was. Tiger is one of the best golf shots of all time. Raising the roof. Are you fucking kidding me how insane that is? So I think you have to take 16 of the waste management. I think it's just like two, like it's more iconic. I think they're getting whole, I think

1112 at Augusta would maybe be more like, because that never happens. But holes in one I feel like on 16 at Augusta happened pretty frequently now. It does, the waste management one feels more like white trashed of the group that we have in front of us, but it would by far be the most fun. Like, I think I'm picking waste management over it. Like, way, what I'm thinking is like,

I don't even think it's that close. I don't even think it's that close. The waste management, the clips you get out of it, the way people react, the beers, everything that you guys said is exactly right. It seems crazy talking about 17 and then at Augusta, but it's just like, fuck it. Waste management will be way better. A couple seconds ago, how hard were you searching for words there? I couldn't think of how much. That happens to be all the time.

Yeah. You're just like, man, the waste management would be so like, the way I'm thinking about it is. you're just like come on man think of a word like think of one word to say to these people listening to this show and then at one point I'm just like I'm in the abyss I'm just in many times it's happening where I'm like I have no idea where I'm going to how I'm going to tie this together

I have no idea how I'm tying this together I'm just going off the rails what I basically what I'm going to say is like I think it's no question yeah no question waste management it's got to be waste management yeah if you're especially if you're playing playing in a pro event, it's waste management. If you're just like buddies and style,

you got it onto Augusta or TPC, I think it's Augusta, but in a professional sense, it's definitely waste management. Yeah, personal sense, it's Augusta, no, like, that's just telling people that would be insane, and it's not even close. I don't know any world where it's 17 at Sawgrass.

No. None. Yeah, yeah. That's child's play. You can do that at like a par three course. So go on a nice little, Island Green, cool. I will say, though, if there are no fans at TPC Scottsdale,

then that's third place. If there's no fans at that place, then it's third. Obviously. Oh, yeah. Yeah, in terms of the way. The fans make the whole thing. Without the fans, you've got nothing like that. I don't even care about a whole lot.

I don't know if it's in the top of thousand. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I'm just talking about the sway. Frankie's looking at me like I'm a crazy person. Are you understanding this? I understand what you're saying. I'm just like, I do.

It's just like, obviously it's the fans. That's why it's number one. I'm surprised you guys haven't gotten each other more, to be honest with you. I'm honestly, I think I have this deadly disease that's going around everyone. When do you think we'll all see each other in person again? I mean, there's no chance. When are you coming in? There's no chance we're going to see Trent for months.

Why are people not being more like me? I don't understand. I agree. I agree. You've also, you've been, wait. for something like this your whole life Trent Daddy. That's actually not true. I like going into the office.

I actually don't mind. I like going out and like once we transition from pre-churnin to post-churning, where we had to go into the office as opposed to being bloggers who's a normal day. I actually like going into an office, like going out and getting coffee doing that. So I actually wasn't looking forward to something like this. Maybe I'm more attuned to doing it because I did in the past. But I don't mind going into an office, especially with the job that we have.

It's not that big a deal. So it's March 16th when we're recording. Do you think the month of March, we see each other, all see each other again at the same time? I think we play golf, but I don't think it's in the office. You guys think that they're going to close this office down next week? Dude, my office is closed till the beginning of April. Every office is closed.

Well, I'm just, you know, hey, software sales guy driving it. Anybody, and I know not everybody, but anybody who can work from home, the world is saying work from home. Like it makes sense to do that. It's only the people who can't work from home, which sucks and people can't do that. But the people who have the ability to work from home, I think the idea is work from home.

Lurch, what's that little home decori got behind you there? What's that little... These are just pieces of artwork here. This is not my place. You know, this is a place of the feminine kind. Yeah, I'm interested. You got a kitchen. Surprise a big way of you don't have that fan cooking right now.

no it's uh it's 63 degrees i had the door open a little bit ago yeah um you gotta get that airflow in there i think it's 76 on Thursday and Friday down here i gotta get a phone collected yeah you gotta get the hell out of us we gotta stop the show right now because i gotta get out of here you're gonna die am i gonna see you in a second i can't see you you're you're contagious i'm hoping it's just a little runny nose i have a headache that's all it is i mean a little runny nose any little runny nose right now is treated with you know you need to be in a fucking quarantine. Exactly.

I know. There's no reason to be here. Like, what are we doing here? I don't know. This is insane. Frank, you'll be in all week, though, I assume? I guess so.

I don't know. God, you can't spend up for yourself. I love. No, I'm such a pussy. What if I were just like, no, I don't, like, I don't want to. It's like, I don't want to go in because people dying all over the world.

I think that's an option, Frank. Yeah, no. You'll be dying. Yeah, you'll just be, there could be like, noted coronavirus in the office and you'd still go in. Oh, there is. I mean, there definitely is.

Yeah, we've had corona here for like a week and a half. We sat on radio. There was a girl on the third floor on the sales team, on the business floor that went to France and came back and is just like walking around the office. It's like crazy. France is in a just and was sick. That's the biggest part.

It was sick last week. Couldn't get a corona test. So they wouldn't issue a corona test at the, wherever the walking clinic or whatever yeah nightmare your boy devon tays just uh ping me on um instagram stop it's always no word it's devon i just saw trent nearly throw out actually devon de vaunt desvon about playing some golf next week love it yeah yeah well watch our youtube videos got it video's killing it It's a good corner to the best videos ever. Todd Lewis just responded to one of my master's tweets.

He just said, one thing to think about with these dates, October 5 through 11 is the UGA football schedule. Bulldogs host Auburn on October 10th may not mean much, but that game will force fans in the state to make a choice. This is what happens when I get in the scoop game now. I'm debating Todd Lewis about the merits of a UGA football game versus masters in October. I can tell you it's not going to matter.

Jake just came in. What's not going to matter? The UGA game, it doesn't matter. Why? Because the George Bulldogs are, they don't matter. There's only one team. It doesn't matter to you. That's what you're saying.

I'm saying that game. This is a time when we all need to think about the greater implications, not just about your selfishness. Hit it hard. Get vitamin C. Hit it hard. Hit hard. Hit it hard.