Fore Play - What if Coronavirus cancels the Masters

Episode Date: March 5, 2020

Riggs & Lurch are off to Pebble as the whole crew’s back together to discuss what would happen if Augusta canceled the Masters, if you could take some of Tiger’s talents but it meant he loses his, and the latest with (maybe) Justine Reed’s burner account!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/foreplaypod

Hey, 4Play listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Everybody good? Give a good clap this time, Trent. Everybody good? Don't be a bitch about it. Don't put that, don't add pressure to it. Don't be a bitch about it.

Give it a little bit wap, hop. Good? Oh, man. I should do the clap. I'm the dab king. We should dapp up. I think I've got the best pause in here. No, give me one more shot.

Notoriously the best dab guy. I don't think. your elbow position is great. I do this the same way every time. Hit him, hit him. Welcome back. Second show of the week, Gilhance was on the first show of the week. Amazing interview.

If you missed it, go check that out. We talk, pinehurst, stalk, wing, foot, all kinds of good stuff. Barstville Classic, we're going to start with some announcements, some, you know, housekeeping type stuff. Barstool Classic. Dot com. You get all the information. 14 different cities slash regions that we are hitting. 16 different qualifiers because we're doing 36 holes in Chicago and in Boston because

the demand was so high last year. registration will open at noon on March 9th, which is a Monday for Barstle Gold members and anyone who played last year. 24 hours later, which is March 10th at noon, it will open for the general public. Anyone and everyone, you've got to have a gin preferably or a USGA recognized handicap. You can go to the FAQ section at barstoolclassic.com. Should be able to answer all your questions. And then I also go through these little tirades where I just respond to everyone on Twitter. So pay attention to that if you have more questions.

Barstleclassic.com Monday and Tuesday. next week. You can sign up. Whole thing sold out in two days last year. I imagine it'll be quicker this year because people actually know what it is. So if you're very worried about it, make sure you either have Barstool Gold. You played last year or be ready Tuesday, noon Eastern, barstool Classic.com. Be fucking ready.

Shoutouts. Bratton. He sent me when he said he's air quotes stationed at Fort Bragg and his childhood lifetime friend Austin. Invite him to play in the inaugural Tobacco Road, the Dyad tournament. which I believe Martha, who's our girl from Tobacco Road, is setting up and putting on this really cool-sounding tournament. Shout out to Bratton and to Austin stationed at Fort Bragg. We appreciate that.

Thank you for your service. Trent was on The Bachelor. Yeah. Yet again. You're a regular. I was, yeah. Yeah, I am a regular now. Trent got a facial on national television.

I got a champagne facial on national television. You took it down, though, my man. Yeah, yeah. I didn't. That thing was squirting everywhere, and you said I'll put my lips right on it. That was a man who's been there before. Yeah. Kelsey, who was on the show and had the infamous champagne gate early in the season,

where she brought a special bottle of champagne from home that she was going to pop with Peter. It was going to be a momentous event, very cool occasion. As the show happens, it went out of control. Someone else popped the bottle of champagne while she was away. So after the women tell all on Monday, they thought it would be funny to pull people out of the crowd and try to recreate that. She shook the bottle up like crazy, but I tried to handle it as best as I could. It got over my sweatshirt. I got a little bit on my face.

but I think I did about as good as you could in that situation. I thought you dominated. The bottle was shook. Correct. The inevitable was going to happen. I thought that you powered about through it as best as you possibly could have. I put as much in my mouth as I could. Yes.

And I know how that's going to sound, but that's just what it was. That's where everybody's going. Yeah. We're just talking about a guy drinking champagne. I was drinking champagne on national TV after it was shook up. It was a really fun experience. I went out there two Fridays ago, saw them shoot the whole show. I was in the crowd.

original plan was to be stone cold killer in the crowd the whole time because I'm the luggage guy I'm the grim reaper I did that for the first like five minutes but they film for like six hours and you you basically are pure pressure to clap and cheer and be part of the audience and so I eventually was doing that but right off the bat I was stone cold and they got a couple shots of me doing that which was very I thought was very funny you um juxtaposition against kind of the um you know the more drinking the Kool-Aid frat bros that were around you dressed like they're getting ready to, you know, hit up their finance job. Right.

In New York City. And you not raising your hand, you're becoming a big meme. Right. It was great. Which is what I wanted. Yep. And then you're deadpan and how broad-shouldered in just like Iowa you looked versus, you know, what they looked like. You were as Trent as you could have been.

This happens, this has happened a few times throughout my life. And I wonder if Lurch will be able to agree with me where I forget the size of my body. And I just, I didn't realize that I was in that guy's space so much. until Riggs tweeted it out the night of the show. I do. I have large shoulders. I have a bigger Midwest body, and I forget about it sometimes. So I want to apologize to that kid because I feel like I was in his personal space for the better part of five and a half hours.

Yeah, they were all eight of you, and it looked like you were taking up 40% of the space. I'm just a bigger guy. I'm especially unaware. And I think, I don't know if I've shared this story before, but I was a junior at New Prep School. We were just... I thought this going to be a story about your grandfather flying plane. No, he had broad shoulders too, though. So anyways, first drill in lacrosse, I literally catch it,

and I'm just running the other side. I'm going to throw it to the other guy. I just didn't see the guy that threw it to me. Like, he was just going into line, but I guess I must have, like, beard a little right. I put his shoulder right through his chest without even knowing. He was the captain of the team. Like, almost turned into a scuffle.

So I've been there. Yeah. You know, sometimes I just don't know. I click the sides of doors sometimes. And I really realized it. Ellie, a girl who works here, she, I saw a picture of a picture of, us we did something together and I saw a picture of us and I am just and she is small

but like I realize that I am just I'm a gargantuan human being and I just forget sometimes sometimes you conduct yourself like a 5-7 140 pound man yeah and that's just not your dimensions it's not what it is no but it was very fun being on the show I like being I'm just part of the Bachelor universe

now which is a dream come true a big part of it yeah you got merch luggage guy yeah women tell all kind of meme yeah really well yeah sold really well I do. I don't know a shirt. And so I think I'm just going to hopefully continue to do stuff like that going forward. It's really fun.

It is. You are the where's Waldo of the bachelor. You're going to pop up random. You'll be a limo driver at some point. I think you've got to be the limo driver. Yeah. You're obviously the luggage guy, a bartender. I heard rumored.

So, you know, hopefully you pop up here and that, train. There was one video of a kid pushing around luggage in the apartment. I really like that. Yeah. People are getting into it. They got their kids rolling luggage around. Everybody's moving the luggage. It's good for a laugh.

It's just fun. You know what? Too bad. This isn't like around Halloween. There'd be luggage guy trends everywhere. I was thinking about that. Hopefully it has the legs to make it until October. But since, I mean, the internet moves so quickly, who knows it might be in the past.

But I would love to see Luggage Guy Halloween costume. We'll intercept some brains a couple weeks out. And be an incredible guy. And we should invest in like the purple classic luggage. And you need a Trent mask, first off. You need certainly a Trent mask, shaved head. Kind of like a little bit of hair on top with those glasses. You need a trend mask.

Yeah. No. I was saying like just the shaved head. It's not a shaved head. The listeners at home is more of the little sprinkle he did with his fingers. What would you call that? As soon as you started, I said to myself, I'm ready to get my feelings, sir. That's a buzzed head.

The intention was not there. It's buzz. That's buzz. You call that buzz? Yeah. Someone's got to be Trent. They just got to be overweight and have no hair on time. Yeah.

Halloween. Happy Halloween. Fun holiday. Everybody's having a good time. Eat as much candy as you can to really get a character. They have a sugar addiction, be overweight and have no hands up, man. I don't know. Everybody's face to the other, I'm aware.

Yeah, just get hurt a local. I would call that a lazy buzz cut. What would you call it? What I was, do you say a lazy bus cut? Yeah, because it's not like really buzzed. So you're not buzzing it every week. The nice Russian men that cut my hair would not. What does that mean?

It's not buzzed. You know, if I was going to. say if you want to do something for me Halloween, you get a black crew neck and khakis. You really went the extra mile. And we're like, get, just, just have no idea, just don't know what you're doing with your haircut. Your facial hair is a disaster. Dress like you suck. Same glasses for a decade.

But what I was going to say, I would love to see Halloween costumes. I hope it doesn't die out. But if things continue to progress the way that they have been, I'll be on again. And it'll reinvigorate the luggage guy Halloween costumes. So, but bottom line, very. fun, very cool. Thanks for everybody who supports the luggage guys. Congratulations. Thank you. It's allergy season. And you know what that. I would say it's even more than allergy season. And you know what that means. Sneezing, watery eyes, runny nose, the works. I feel

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Stop wandering aimlessly through the allergy treatment aisle at the pharmacy. Go to get roman.com slash barstool for a free online visit today. That's get roman.com slash barstool. Don't wander aimlessly. Get roman.com slash barstool. Finally, Lurch and I are heading tonight to Pebble Beach. We have the second dad bodd classic. People remember, this is where I had the infamous stage seven diarrhea situation that I got where I thought it was a meatball, but it turned out to be the lettuce.

Messy. Yes. So, no, I will not be eating a salad or a meatball. No greens was spoken. Newark Airport tonight. I mean, right now it's not about Caesar salads and meatballs. No. It's a different game we're playing.

I think it's about travel in general. So the last time you... I might get a trend conference. and travel in that. The last time you went on a trip, this one specifically, you contracted what was taking the nation, it was affecting the entire nation. So now it would be a real problem if you went two for two. I'll say this.

If I do get the coronavirus, which is I believe what you're alluding to, Mr. Trent. Yes. As long as I don't show symptoms until I get back, that's fine. You get to play pebble. Correct. So next week I could be out. I can be down, dog, sick, whatever, don't care. I think I'll survive at, what, 2%.

You got to be like pretty, no, okay, I'm not going to say that. Yeah. Back it up. I just think that I'm healthy enough that if I get it, I would survive. Knock on wood, all that stuff. I'm not trying to bad juju myself, but I just think that if I get it, I'm not that concerned about it. This is like when my girlfriend's family went out to abandon dunes and sent me pictures

and all these things. I was supposed to go on the trip, and I couldn't because I'd stay back and do like one or two pizza reviews. This is happening to me right now with a dabod classic. I have a flight like tonight. I'm getting notifications that my flight to San Francisco is on time. So for anyone who does not know, which that's all of you listening, is that our friend, Josh, who is the man who puts this whole trip together, we had a few people bowed out. So he, because we've gone to Dave Matthew shows before, he knows Frankie, he knows Lurchy.

He does not know Trent. So that's why Trent did not get the look. But, you know, he's played golf with us before he's done Dave Matthew shows. He's like the biggest Dave Matthews fan of all time. He's been to like 400 shows. I've said that multiple times, and I've been way off on the next. number. He's actually texting me after these episodes air. He's like, it's actually not 400. It's like

892. Something like ridiculous. It is preposterous. It's a preposterous number. He's actually the reason that we were able to get Gilhance on the show a couple times because Gilhant's also a big Dave Matthews fan and through connections there is how is I able to get him on the show. Bottom line, good friend of ours invited us to the trip. Lurch and I are going.

Frankie unfortunately had to bow out. So it's a very sad ordeal that we're going. I can't even really look that direction. That's crazy because you guys are playing Pebble Beach. You guys are playing all these phenomenal golf courses in the midst of just like shitty weather here. It was like monsooning last night.

And I mean, going to play inside of a painting is something that everyone wants to do all the time. We're going to be playing Thursday. We're playing Spanish Bay. Friday we're playing Spy Glass Hill. Saturday we're playing Pebble Beach. And then Sunday we're playing Spanish Bay and we're traveling back to the East Coast.

We have free afternoon. So there could be more on top of that. Crazy. Crazy. And the reasoning why everything kind of changes because like, you know, Dave Port and I still in search of like his team, right? He wants to do like a doc.

He wants to do a stool scenes thing. He's a little look inside what we're dealing with over here. Is that on this camp? Yeah. This is the Frankie camp. Just strictly the Frankie camp. Just so you know you're the only one deal. Yeah.

Go ahead and vet. We deal with it on a different level just like watching it happen. You are directly dealing with that. It's more of a business decision where it's like I can't be away from the core of what's going on right now at the office because if I leave, you know, Marina's on her bachelor party right now. Smokes. What? Tommy Smokes is in Florida.

A lot of Dave's crew, whether it's like if you need something written about them or blog or ripped or whatever or obviously pizza reviews need to be done. I just like if I was just on a golf course at this time right now with everything with Penn and all this stuff that's happening, if I was on a golf course right now, Thursday or Friday, and it really was like not for something specific, I think I would not be able to be able to come back home. Yeah, you could be on the receiving end of that horrible video that's going around. Yes If you were to be caught on a golf course In these trying times Let me tell you something about that video That video ruined my life

I haven't watched it I refuse to I just have worked about it I've ever seen in my entire life Is it real? It's real Do you want me to explain it to you? No, no no No no no

No no no no We'll talk about it afterwards We'll talk about it afterwards You don't even know what whispering is I'm just I'm gonna say very generally I'm gonna say something very generally Can I say something generally without getting fucking way too graphic?

Sure. And this is without getting graphic. Two guys get reversed inside out. Yeah, that's kind of what I heard. All right, we're going to move on. That's it. Lurch, you've never played Pelham before.

One of the most iconic golf courses, maybe the most, probably top three or four are most iconic courses in the world. What is your sort of expectation excitement level? My expectation is to hit a ball into the painting that will continually shank into the water.

I've got fears of really playing back off. Huge fears. Oh, no. Huge fears. Really? Why is that? I don't know. It just doesn't seem like it's going to go as well as I wanted to. And that's just... But you've never showed up, I mean, I don't know that much. I've played with you a decent amount. But you've never really showed up where you're unable to finish around. Like... But Pebble's like, that course that you always heard about as like a kid and like, you know, not being totally into golf when I was a kid, but like now where it's all I think about. I just, I don't know, expectations, I just, I so badly want to hit the ball well. Yeah.

That you think it might be true. So I'm just trying to relax. Like last night I was just up thinking about it. What? Do what Alfonso Ribeiro told us. Let's try that. Put that in the practice. Don't.

It's, your brain doesn't understand. Don't understand. No, I get it. I get it. You don't get it. I don't know that you, I don't think you get it. That's what I'm trying to get to. Listen, you know, it's a mental battle.

There's a, there's a decent stretch of holes in which it's very daunting. But the inland holes, you'll, that's, that. dominate. Yeah. So you're going to like stretch together a decent amount of golf. What, you're like on the first hole? No,

the first, uh, three holes you're like, you're in the mix. You're like, this is just a regular golf course. But then it's the stretch of the, some of the hardest holes in golf.

No, they're not. Oh, yeah. It's hard. 10, actually I didn't realize it. This eight nine, 10,

I believe the stat was that it was the single hardest stretch in the PG eight tour, three whole stretch. I mean, it's definitely hard. It's definitely hard. But let me tell you something about the eighth hole. Oh yeah.

Please, Frank. What did you do, Frank? I took a three wood. I piped it down Broad Street. And then I took a nice, what was it, a five iron maybe? Probably you're like 220 out or two-tenth. Yeah, nice five-iron, little bit of a breeze left to right, took that nice little wind, took a nice five-iron top left in my corner of my vision.

And I'm like, oh, I'm just going to have this thing just trickled down in a nice draw, hit the back of the green. I missed the birdie put put up. I'm very excited to play 17 and 18 for whatever reason. I will allow Frankie to continue to tell that story because it was beautiful to watch. It was that, Matt. It was that majestic. That hole is that iconic. It is that difficult, and you played it perfect.

Coming off, seven was just a nightmare for me. It made a 10 or something. Yeah. It was awful. Oh, we filmed that one. Frank kept saying there's PJ tour players that would take those two shots. Those two shots? Seven?

Absolutely. Are you been thinking about seven? Like, what have you been thinking about? Like, what do you think about specifically? What kept you up last night? You look disheveled. Is it six going? Is it seven?

Six is scary. Six is terrifying. Six is like, you're hitting on top of a book. On six, just getting stuck on the hill. Like, just like, yeah, yeah. Well, you can get stuff. Dude, when you mean you physically? Because you're such a, bro.

All right. Bro, when you're walking down the fairway of six and up to the green, just look around and stop and be like, where am I right now? I'm crazy. I want to, my thing is blinking when I'm in like. You've said this before. It's the dumbest thing over. You're actually, you're actually, we've talked about again. You're quite literally taking your vision away at that moment.

Correct. You should be like, I'm going to get my eyes as wide as possible. No, you're actually. Snap, snap. Frankie's right. You are consuming less time of consuming what you want to remember. But sometimes when you do something. You like watch an episode of the office where they did like little mental images at their wedding.

Yeah, the Niagara Falls one. So click or Jim goes click and a real cute. What were your, what were you so excited about going in and what were you more excited about or like happier leaving? Like what do you reminisce about more post-playing pebble? I'll say this. I did not expect the T-shot on six to be as gorgeous as it is. I think the moments of walking up where you're actually not hitting a golf shot, like just spectating the golf course is what I take away from it.

Like I actually FaceTime my dad on Sixth Farrow being like, look at this place. It looks fake. Like there's boats that are in the little cove that like look like they're painted there. They just slowly sway and you're on top of this cliff. And like the golf course looks perfectly green and it's crazy. The water's like crashing against it. It's nuts. What did you guys shoot there?

Oh, I was triple digits. problem. A lot. What was the part? I died of the under 90. Hold on. Here's something to consider, though. We played it two weeks before the U.S.

Open. Yes. And the rough was up and the fairways were half. We had just walked the whole golf course right before. Totally. And we had no sleep. I cadied a whole round of Pebble Beach and then just got right onto the first seat and had to play. Trent actually collapsed in the third fairway.

He just laid there starfish and said, I was tired. I was really tired. There was one. I forget the, we've started on top two game. We started at four. It was like four.

It was like. It was our last hole. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would also say that some of the inland holes are more gorgeous of views than I thought. Like the playing the 11th hole, for example, where you go back up towards the trees. Like, if you just look behind you at any moment, you're stunned at the view because now you're just higher than the 10th hole and you still have the same kind of view. You're not on the cliff, but you might as well be because you're overlooking it. 13, the same thing.

14. You just look to your left on 14, that really tough par 5 that dog legs to the right. You just look to your left or when you're up on the green, just look behind you. You have the same view. You can actually see the whole peninsula of the sixthful. So those types of things are like you don't know from TV. And then Frankie's right that the cove and the way they've done the little harbor there and like the little yachts with the boats. And there's like a red one and a yellow one.

And you're like, what the fuck? It's exciting. It's exciting. So, so cool. Yeah. I'm super pumped. I hope you do poor things on eight because I want that to be my whole. So it's fine.

I'm going to bury that. I'm filming three rigs versus videos out there. I'm going to do the eighth hole. And I'm nervous that. Well, I know I'm not going to play it as well as you did. Right. And you're going to have that over me forever. Make sure you mention it so that you guys can splice in the footage of me.

Oh, I've already thought about that. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Can we talk about footage real quick? I don't know if you were going to bring this up today. Can we talk about this guy who's droning the balls? I put it on my sheet.

What is happening with that? So apparently it's like a speed drone. They have like, you ever see on ESPN? They'll do speed droning. By the way, that might be the most impressive talent. Racing droning. These guys wear these fucking like Oculus like vision glasses and go through like the Dolphin Stadium. Oh, it's crazy.

Yes. But like flip over to bear rolls. Bro, to be able to fly a drone like that where you're wearing these like, why can't think of the word? Like VR glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like basically you're in the cockpit of this mini drone. That's how do you not get sick? We should all try that.

How do you not get sick? How do you not like run or fall back forward when you're flying through fucking obstacles? And you have to get through these little hoops. It's impressive. Brain has to be almost off. But my thing with that video is he's got to have something within the golf ball. Like we talked about some golf ball that you can track the other day. No, he doesn't.

I don't think. There's got to be, the camera is incredible. We both tried to drone and the ability to fly a drone but then also control the camera at a high rate. Okay, but let me tell you something. There's professional drone. Correct. We've drone, what,

a total of like two hours. You guys who are a job, like movie drone guys. Like, I mean, come on. It's incredible. Yeah.

Like, people are incredible at their jobs. It's also incredible. You can do brain surgery on you right now if you want to find this. If I flew my drone right next to you guys, you'd freak out. Right, because you stink. No, no, the drone buses by this guy head. You also, you do stink it flying a drone.

I'm way better than you are. Where's Jake? Like, Jake legitimately went to Medina last year, and we filmed a little Riggsverse video. And Lurch was the only one that had the drone in his bag, so he did some droning. And Jake came over to me on Monday when he's adding. And he's like, I never, ever appreciated how good you are at droning until I had to see what Lurch has to do with. Sticking droning. I will say, I've been going through a lot of drone footage.

And I would reach back to Jake said, who shot this? A lot of its rigs. I'm good. All right. He takes, he does the droning. He's got a thing. He doesn't want anybody to touch it. I taught you how to fly.

Ooh. Oh. You gave him his wings? I gave him his pilot wings. And I think he would agree with. Were you like the captain? It's going to talk. Be tough for him to say, were you the captain?

You walked up to him a chair and you gave him the little wings and said, here you go, buddy. One day you'll make it to the cockpit that your, that your grandpa gave you. And then you gave the door rocks out of the sea plane And so they can run You originally did it But I would say you You sort of You invented it in our apartment

I perfected it You should have seen the first time He got his drone We were living down in Fider We had two, you know, whatever two different rooms And We did have our own bedrooms Yeah

But it was like There was wall to walls Really the intention of that point With walls right Anyways he turned his on In the apartment but he thought it was just going to take off. So he was just holding it.

But the thing has a sensor on the bottom that it wants to fly away or at least get like three feet away from anything below it. So he is holding on to the drone with all his might. And from the other room, I hear this drone just buzzing like a moment. It was going as fast as it could, but it wasn't going anywhere. He was holding on. He was terrified for a couple minutes. And it was first time I ever tried to fly it.

And you can't fly anywhere in New York, obviously, because there's fucking geo zoning codes. Right. And I didn't know any of this. I was so eager to fly the thing. I flew up my room. Long story, sure, I've come a long way since then. You suck at drone flying.

I'm very good. However, think about something real quickly. Think about this real quickly. If you were to go to the driving range, let's say we've done four hours of droning in our life. If you were to go to the driving range, you've never hit a golf ball ever, not once in your life. You went to a driving range over the course of a year and a half for a total of like four hours. And then you watched, you know, Tiger Woods hit balls. You'd be like, oh my God, that's not even possible.

But like, clearly they're the best in the world of flying the drones. That's the only way they could get it. It's a golden D-Shod. I mean, it is literally the golden tea view that they had to create with technology because you can't actually do it in real life. These guys have done it in real life. So this guy, Sean, underscore Zach, Sean underscore Zach puts out this video on Twitter.

People have to go watch it. I mean, we've tweeted it now from Foreplay. It's some of the most incredible shots that golf has ever seen. No joke. Like, it's some of the most impressive artistic filming that I've ever seen. And what's getting completely overlooked. I think actually I saw Lurch tweet this is that the guy in the video, who's hitting these golf shots is absolutely peppering this green.

I mean, he's throwing darts him to within three and four feet of the pin every single time. It's like this fat, like, just like guy who doesn't look like, I don't want to call him. Dad, he just took a ricochet shot. He's a hefty fella. Say it. He's fat. He's fat. But he's just slowly swinging.

I don't know if that's like the edited effect of the video, but it looks so effortless the way he's hitting these golfs. The other thing that I notice is there's no other balls on the green. So is this just a one. take or somebody running up there and clearing the balls? This guy's sick. So what I think is happening here is I think that this racing drone probably has like a thing where like everything is in like black and white or almost like infrared, right? And I feel like they use this for like baseball cameras and golf cameras also when they're

tracking the ball at a golf event. So like I feel like everything's in black and white and the ball is super bright. That could definitely be it with a filter on your drone. A filter on your drone. There's no other way to catch the ball. Like you're saying, even if the guy's a professional, droner. I don't think that you can find the ball like that when it's like in the midst of like

the sky. I think you have to have some sort of filter on it in which it's like everything is dark gray and that ball fucking is glimmering and white. That's how baseball guys catch the baseball up in the air. Like you always. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I agree with there. There's some amazing camera guys are.

You watch these games. You watch golf and they just catch it. They never miss it. Never miss. It's so rare. Once in a while they miss it. You're like, what the fuck? I was just going to say it.

We freak out. Yeah. You have to find a ball flying at 120 miles. potentially cloudy sky. I don't even know how they ever do it. We can't see it when we're there. Never. You have no idea.

There's times where I hit the golf ball. Keep your eyes on this one and then you hit it in all four. Everybody in the horse and has no idea. I'd love an inside look into the guys who find the balls with a cameraman who do the balls. We should interview one of them. That'd be awesome. We should do a video. Okay.

And then we should see how bad we are at it. Imagine how fucking seasick you'd get looking at ours. Oh, we're the fucking map. We wouldn't even be close. That would be fun. What if it's super easy? These guys are like, you guys have no idea. It's almost like flying a plane.

Like, this thing just does it by itself. Technology is good these days. Like the guys in the 70s I felt bad for. True. The guys now, you're right. I think they had that technology I was talking about where the ball glimmers. I think you're right. It has to.

How else would you fucking find? Is that true, producer? I just think there's like something, there's like a filter of some sort. You could see the ball way better with that type of camera. It would make no sense for them to just be naked eyeing it like we are. Or seeing it. Purist. A purest, a purest cameraman.

The cocky cameraman. No filters for me. He uses. This is like old hickory shafts when he plays. The old tune up ones is out there. I got this, boys. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Big flame and, like, the big flame goes out.

Took him, like, two years, take a picture. You know, they say that picture with the guy with the pitchfork and the lady outside the barn? You know that, like, famous picture. Talking about American Gothic? Yes. All right? Is that the name of it? I think so.

Grant Wood, Iowa. Really? Oh, really? Frankie's Googling it. American Gothic, yeah. Grant Wood. Also, it's a painting. Yeah.

No, yeah, it's a painting. Gotcha. Well, shit like that, they always say that people were back in the day, and this is a Frankie fact here, that people back in the day are all always so stone-faced and so serious in these pictures

because they had to stand there for long periods of time for the picture to develop as the guy was cranking it up or legitimately for the picture to show up. So they were just standing there. A lot of sense. Smiling.

Faye's going to fall off. Did you ever take one of those panoramic cameras when you're a kid or graduation? That you had to stand there in your aisle for like five minutes is the thing panned? Your whole class. You always have the one guy who switched arms. Switched arms so that you had, it looked like he only had one arm. Yes. Yeah, people would do that kind of stuff.

It's a pretty good fact. I could see you doing a cool little bit like that. Run around. That was cool. Trin, I got a question. Yeah. What number living, like what? What number most famous living?

Living, Iowan, do you think you are in the world? Boy, living? 150? Is it like nine? Like, how high I think you are? Um, boy. So if we go down the list, Zach Johnson. Yeah. I know, I no joke think at this point, you're on your way to being more famous than Zach Johnson.

I'm not right. There's no, this is such a strange conversation to have. It's not, though. It's not. Well, for me, it's not. Uh, dude's every girl in America, like, at this point has seen you. has seen you. They may not know who you are,

but they've seen you on that goddamn show. Your famous Halloween custom. Every woman in America watches it. It's a very popular show. There's no doubt about it. Is it the most popular show on TV? I don't know. It's up there.

It's up there. Especially if you count, like, how many seasons they've done. It's like one of the most successful shows. Those look like there's many famous people from Iowa. There's a little bit of us. Come on. Zach Johnson. Ash and Coucher.

We said Living. Johnny Carson's from there. John Wayne is from there. Adam Devine. Adam Devine from Workaholics. Ron Livingston from office space Elijah Wood Elijah Wood

He's super famous Frodo Frodo Yeah I don't know I mean I would say And I say this with all of the modesty in the world Yeah

I say I'm top 10 You might be All the modesty in the world You might be top 10 Most famous living island in the world Yeah once you get past I mean there's a bunch of people Like you said John Wayne

Gene Wilder All these guys I'm saying like Herbert Hoover Guys that are dead You have the guys that are dead Oh, you're talking about the living people And you get to like five or six Like, I mean

Corey Taylor I saw Seth Rollins on that list He's a popular professional arrest Lara Flynn Boyle I don't know who these people are I don't either I know Julia Michaels Luggage guy

Like what are we talking about here You're up there man Buffalo Bill is from Iowa I didn't know that Yeah Buffalo Bill's a scam Um He was a marketing genius. So, yeah, I guess, I guess top 10.

Like top six? I'd say you're safely, safely top 20. And that's being like overly conservative. Yeah. If we're forgetting some obvious names that aren't popping up on that. You're very realistic. You're top 10, top like eight most famous living islands in the world. It's pretty, yeah, it's pretty interesting.

Yeah. Iowa just sucks, huh? No. It's funny that Ashton Coucher and Zach Johnson and myself, we are not only from Iowa, we're all from Cedar Rapids. That's all the same place. That's really, is Cedar Rapids bigger than Des Moines? No.

It's, uh, how come nobody's from fucking Des Moines? It's in, that's a good question. It's a second place to Des Moines in terms of population. It is. Cedar Rapids are a wake who are named. Des Moines, very boring.

Cedar Rapids. Des Moines's the capital. They got that. But Cedar Rapids. Is there a great river running through it? Yeah. Cedar River. That's awesome.

You dumbass. Well, I was just making sure that the name is up the bill. Well, no, it wasn't. Our town hall is on like, City Hall is on an island in the middle. Like there's bridges and there's sort of city halls in the middle of those. It's a cool place. Congratulations.

Thank you. Oh, Oh, Kurt Warner's from there? Oh, that's another one I should have thought of. Boy, I'm going to be in trouble by my fellow I was for that one.

Kurt Warner, though, he kind of people, yeah. Okay. Yeah. No one's thinking about Kurt. What were you going to say that? I was going to say that he gets.

No, no, no. I, buddy, St. Louis Ram back when I was a St. Louis Rams fan. Kurt Warner's an icon around our parts. But I was almost going to say people maybe more. associated him with like Missouri or something because he became famous and and obviously a star

playing for the St. Louis Rams. I should have known. Is there a state rivalry between you? Because you kind of almost tried to take credit for Kurt Warner. No, no. Our big one's Kansas. We hate Kansas. We have a long bloody, bloody history with Kansas. You do. Long Island's got a ton of famous people. Seinfeld, Billy Joel. Shut up and now. Obviously, we're comparing like New York to fucking Iowa here. I'm just saying. Pilly Crystal. Shady Raise is an independent sunglass company. They are not just some big corporation that overcharges for shades. Everyone knows sunglasses are way overpriced. That is true.

Shady rays is out to do it differently with polarized shades on a price tag. Let me tell you this. I typically, usually my whole life, have gone through and lost tons of sunglasses. I might be on like a year and a half now. I've had my pair of Shadyrays. And it is by far the number one pair I've ever had that I get asked, what are those? People ask me about my Shady rays. I'm actually going to be rocking them this week.

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Okay. So two points. Yep. My mom actually listened to last podcast. What did you think? She had two takeaways. First, we're idiots. True.

Pretty, yeah. About which point? What was the main reason that were idiots? Now we can't remember. Was it disease? Picasso is a modernist. And she just said that. She's an artist.

She's just like, you're an idiot. So she's on the other side. Really? Yep. I would say, though, most of our general. I was, when I, so when I tweeted my original tweet a couple years ago, I, it did blow up a little bit and I got a lot of people coming at me being like, hard people. She's an art person. Yeah, that's the thing.

It's like, yeah, if you look in the bios of the people who are like, it's so crazy that you guys didn't know that he died in 1973. It is like art major at some tiny liberal arts college. Like, relax a little bit. And I'm not saying that to your mother. She seems like a sweet lady. Before we move on. Fantasticly talented. Good for her.

Before we move on. Trent, have you noticed you're getting clout cucked on your. fact. Do you think so what you're referring to is there has been a tweet that has gone mega mega mega viral in like the last week talking about Picasso, how he died 1973, oh my God, I can't believe that.

And it did come right after we talked about it on this show. It has to be a listener. That's what I was thinking too. And I want it on record that I don't care. I think it's funny. I think it's funny to me every time I see it go viral again because it's like people really don't know that he died 1973 and it's a stunning fact. It could have been you though. You don't get a little

I'm jealous. Will jealousy there, Trent? No. Everything that's going on in the luggage work. By the way, yeah, I'm the luggage guy on The Bachelor, so. Or it could be as simple as like, that guy's in like a group text where somebody who listens to the show that was like, hey, do you guys, because people are probably done dropping that fact to their other groups

of friends. But that definitely has to have originated from the most recent discussion of the show because I haven't seen somebody talk about that fact in like years since you brought it up. Yeah, no, it definitely had to come from the show. And when I originally talked about it, I said, use this at a dinner party when there's a lull. If there's a lull in conversation you're having somebody,

just be like, hey, did you know Pablo Picasso died in 973? You got a conversation for at least 45 minutes. Yeah, you fire that combo with that table right back up. Boom. What's the other one, Lurch? The other takeaway. Speaking of shady rays, mom said a great way to protect yourself against the coronavirus so you don't rub your eyes, get a pair of glasses.

Once you go on there, buy a pair of glasses, save yourself from the ground. Nobody's more afraid of the coronavirus than Lurch. It's crazy. I'm up there. You're putting Puell on your forehead? Yeah, yeah. Today, my glasses were on my desk, and I was thinking, these things have been out for a while. Bro, you're so...

We talked about this with Trent. Protect myself against the glasses. We talked about this with Trent out in the office. You guys are so thick that we don't think it can penetrate you. There's no way. I don't know how to rebuttal. There's no way that that coronavirus can get through that fucking thick skin. That virus is trying every little...

He starts from the ass. He's trying to get in through your face. This coronavirus is like, man we can't get in these fucking guys just goes over to Frankie and just takes it by storm I really full head of steam running right into your skin just go you can get through you can get it to me with like a little plastic knife just like a real just dull just fucking boy is a dull edge can't penetrate these boys fucking you got to get one of those ogres to come out of the far step on you or something you have them team up on me trying to put a

shoulder into the door they can't get into us no you know all right I guess I'm safe then but I like disregard hygiene and disregard like the way that your immune system works and all these things, if you just look at my body and your body, there's no way that I can't, that I'm not getting it easier than you. So I had a freak out before last show on the subway. I stupidly touched a railing.

The railing was so warm. It felt like somebody was like rubbing their whole body on it. It's like a warm toilet. As soon as I touched that railing, my mind just went a thousand different directions. I was like, how many people have touched this pole? Now I pretty much touched all their hands. coronavirus lasts on something for a week.

You have like real mental issues. Well, I was just thinking about it. I played the situation out in my head. Then I get to my place of work. I hit floor number seven. I'm like, oh, my God. Now I'm spreading it around. That's why I'm covering myself.

That's like, you're freaking out a little bit. Well, I had a little freak out. Yeah. I'll tell you what that's been with me. Let me tell you this. I'm convinced we're all just going to get it. I'm committed. Like the second case in New York that has it, they just tweeted out that like every

member of that household and the neighbor has it now too so it's like that's just like what happens it's just we're all going to get it i just don't think that many of us are going to die from it but i think we're all going to get what's your first thought when you sit on a warm toilet seat is it what do you welcome it or are you like oh you what i'm saying normally you welcome it i this i'm just i'm just i'm just what i'm saying ice cold okay at welcome it why what why why you can't you can't perceive a situation where you're like Because normally it is, it's ice cold and it's like, ah, that's a cold toilet seat. Sit on a warm one.

You know, it's 10 dead in Washington State. No, no, no. See? See? Freak yourself out. You're not out of this point yet. Tell me where the positives are of being like, ooh, my butt is touching another man's butt. That's not the thought.

The thought is warm is better than cold. Well, if it's a heated toilet seat, now you've got something. But if it's just your run-in-the-mill toilet seat that should be about room-tem. But that thing's cooking about 82 degrees, I don't want a piece of that thing. You're not going to contract a disease from a toilet seat. No, but you're not going to get comfortable either. Why? Do you think a warm, what's better, a warm bed or a cold bed?

Cold bed. Then now we're not having the same discussion. Okay, yeah. No, I like things ice cold. We're not having the same discussion. 10 dead in Washington's state, I don't love. Did that just break? But people are dying from things all the time.

Like, they're not, there's no headlines like 30 people die of the flu in Florida. Very fair. Which they're dying from the flu. Right. Like 2,000 people die from car accidents. The difference between those things is the flu we understand. I don't think we have a full understanding of coronavirus. You can get a flu shot.

You can't get a coronavirus. When you type of coronavirus on Google, it is a huge SOS alert in red. This is COVID. In the corporate world, we're having meetings up the wazoo. All company travels shut down. I heard Sirius XM may stop sending their people to work. Come on. Yeah.

Yes. That could definitely happen. And I'm just, we're just traveling today. Yeah, that doesn't feel right. We're just going to where you're not supposed to go. One person is dead in California 14 hours ago. I'm going to California. Yeah.

I mean, Pebble Beach? I was just in California a week and a half ago. You were. Man. Golf. But I didn't get your answers on the warm, warm, cold toilets. Cold, cold.

I read it cold. Hey, I got, hey, this is a topical from the gallery. If I'm, like, in my house or something, maybe, it's like, I know. It was your dad that's up there a half hour ago? Papa sat on the toilet. Papa. A little fresh mozzarella. Yeah.

Topical from the gallery here. Daniel says a bit of fear-mongering, but if the coronavirus gets the masters canceled, Tiger would be the reigning champ for two consecutive years. What are your thoughts? Great question. It'll be a whole other year. We're not too sure how his game is right now.

We're hearing rumors of him being a little stiff. He's not playing at Bay Hill. Do we take this? Right. It's also another year of Tiger not playing the Masters. Way from him. Yeah, I don't think you take it, but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

It would be like, you know, Tiger's still the defending. Yeah, because the one side of that argument is, you want coronavirus to get to the point where they're canceling the most important golf tournament in the world, which I don't think we're there yet. That would be unfortunate. I think part of that would be like interesting. Like, aren't you like, wouldn't that be like feel like you're in a movie? My brother and I.

Masters is canceled because of coronavirus. We talk about this. Holy. Dude, it's a full, it's a full bunker down. You won't see me for a while. I'll be bathing in Purell. There is. What's the worst that would happen, Larch?

You die? Yeah. That's true. That's correct. Like, it could happen. Or no, all my family, I guess, dies first, and then I'm the last one. Right, that is the worst thing. But my point being, you can die from anything, right?

So you're not going to start bunkering down in your house because there's a virus going around. Like, you're going to just keep living your life. Correct. You like ride your bike around the city. Someone could just be texting and just take you out. Do you ride city bike? Yes. I do too.

And that's by far the most dangerous thing you and I do. Wait more. You do that, but you're worried about coronas. That's crazy. Your odds of dying every single day are so much higher riding a city bike than dying of the coronavirus. How many instances where you've become close to getting hit on a city bike? Maybe two. Really?

Yeah. I will say when I went over the Brooklyn Bridge every day, I was close to hitting people. So they have it separated. I was going to say you're more of a hazard than the cars aren't. They have it separated like there's one line that separates bikes from walkers. But the walkers are always, you know, plenty of tourists taking pictures. All of a sudden, they'll just back out and try to take a photo in the bike lane. And I just come bombing down.

I've clipped plenty of people coming over the Brooklyn Bridge. Lurch is the guy you asked him like, oh, how is your commute home? And he's like, perfect, no issues. And then you look behind him and there's a trail of like there's trash cans are on fire. People were diving into the river. Like Godzilla just walked through. Exactly. I would firm up so tight on the way down the Brooklyn Bridge just in case I hit somebody.

You know, I could give him a little bump back. I didn't go in their side, but I'll tell you what. I was being precautions. I was sitting at a stoplight on the city bike one time. I had a car butt me from behind. He just gave me a little love to town. I punched a lot of New York City. Oh.

I was walking across the crosswalk and it cut me off. and I was just one of those moods. Just punched the side of the car. What are the incredible Hulk? That's the worst type of biker, though. I mean, you're punching cars? No, no, no, that was walking. That was just a pedestrian.

So I had the walk signal, and it just cut. And, dude, the thing, like, went across my toe. That's, um, and so I just. That's because they're used to making turns where the people aren't taking up as much space, right? Like it's, you're an idiot. Well, I'm just saying that. Your points are so stupid. That person is used to make.

taking turns and be like, oh, yeah, I can make this. And then you walk around, they're like, oh, that was something I didn't foresee. Dude, so I was on the phone of my brother. Thing cut me off. I punched the side of the car. It went like another 10 feet and stopped. And I stopped and I just looked at the car. And I was just waiting for the next move.

And then it drove away. That's such a northeast, like, thing. Like in the Midwest, all those people would have all stopped, like, let each other pass, waved to each other, have a great day. You guys are fucking staring each other down and punching cars. What a bunch of a lunatic? That was a moment where I was just. It was just one of those first city days where you're just like get, I mean, I could use a little grass under my feet.

Yeah. Yeah. I weirdly prefer the Northeast way of doing things in terms of how they operate on the streets or like cross the locks and stuff. Because it's more if there's nobody, if there's no cars, go. Just go. Just if you have the opportunity to go, then do it. Midwest, I feel like you're waiting a lot. I agree.

I think, too, it's hard to go from this and then go back to the Midwest. Everything moves such so much more quicker pace and more efficiently and then back there you're kind of like. It is a miracle that more people aren't hit by cars in Manhattan every day. We all just sort of agreed that to the system and it works. Obviously, people still get hit sometimes or people are punching cars. But for the most part, everybody just, it all moves like one big blob. And everybody kind of keeps them in their own space. It's amazing that people can get around the city with how many people that are within it.

It's true, man. We've done a pretty good job. We've done a pretty good job. Frankie, I had a question. Yeah. Did you have any input on old Huggsy or Justine Reed's burner account? You wretched man. Yeah, so I mean, Hugssey called me a wretched, wretched Borelli, because I said that I wanted to answer to quit the game of golf when Tiger was done with him.

Since then, Justin Thomas has come out and said, like, when I'm playing my peers, I want them to quit the game of golf, which is actually a very funny use of wording because he took it right out of my mouth. Almost seems like he heard that. No one's trying to cancel Justin Thomas. Right. And no one's trying to cancel Justin Thomas. He's one of the best players, one of the biggest names in golf. I think Hugsie at this point is just a pathetic human being. Does you read that article in full?

I have not read it in, because you just sent it to us. Yeah, I just saw it today. Somebody tweeted it. Yeah, so I didn't even know that it was on the internet. I thought it was just in print in Australia, which was like, well, that's just gone. We're never going to see that. But Huggsie at this point is so pathetic because life has passed him by. He has this whole entire career behind him where he's like, I've done all this work.

I'm a writer. I'm a journalist. I have the integrity of the sport. Now these newcomers are coming around. They're taking all my spotlight. Why does anyone care about me? I'm doing all the work. like I want people to read my stuff

I'm important slamming his fists like I said in my tweet someone's got to move this guy closer to the window you know he's in his home and he right now he's just a cranky old man someone's just got to throw him his fucking jello packets and just move him to the fucking window let him

stare at the rocking chair just let him fucking stare at the squirrels and maybe play some like rummy maybe play some fucking rummy with him visit him in the home it's a nice thing to do listen go visit old hugs eat and just let him just screams old man yelling at the cloud. This guy's done. His days

are gone. He's dying soon. Statistically. I just wanted to hear your line. I wanted to hear the point. And I'm not saying I hope that for Huggsy. I'm just saying that statistically he's just older than us and he just doesn't get our way of thinking. And if he wants, and I'll extend the same offer to him as I did Shackleford. If he wants to get a lesson on how

to get engagement on Twitter and on social media, he can come to the foreplay guys. He can come here, sit in front of the room. This is how you take a picture. You don't turn the camera around old man. There's actually a thing on the camera where you can turn the camera without actually physically turn. You know when old people do that? They'll take a selfie and they'll actually I would do that from time to time. Oh, it's infuriating. My dad, my dad will take videos in selfie mode but point the selfie mode at you. So you actually see. So he does it at pup punk videos. He'll

be taking videos at pop punk concerts. He'll be taking videos of himself like yeah, pop punk and then actually turn the camera. So now I'm on the stage and I'm looking at pop punk. He'll be taking. out on the camera, I just see us in the camera. And he's just like, let's go. And he misses all of it because I'm like, you're not seeing what's in the screen, Dad. You're not seeing it. You're actually looking at nothing. And you're pointing at what you think you're capturing, but you're actually missing it all. You're blocking your own view. You're blocking your own view. It's the worst way to take a video. It's far and away the worst way to take a bit. And he shoves in people's faces. My niece's birthday, happy birthday. He's just putting the Face time like side

right in her face and she's like getting distracted because she's looking at herself in the video. It's like that's just not how videos work. That is so funny. But that's old hugsy for you. And Justine Reed, I mean, would you guys come to a conclusion on that? That's definitely her own account. It's her, yeah. Or is it his, is it her mother?

I think it's her. Yeah? Because there were some rumors that maybe the mother also gets in the mix on like Facebook and Twitter. Well, I would say this. I don't think that there's a world in which that account exists and both of them are aware of it. Right. I mean, they both have the login for it. Yeah.

Some of the tweets are laugh out. They're amazing. She is so diabolical. You just know that Justine Reed can take apart people and like actually dissect your like insides and your cells better than fucking COVID-19 or whatever, the coronavirus. Yes. She can just dismantle a human being from the inside out with her words.

And you know that she's done that to Patrick. We've said that before. We've painted the picture. He sat at that dinner table after missing a cut or not playing well on Sunday. And he just took it. He got fucking reams. for not playing well, not living up to the Reed name, not doing what he needs to do for that family.

And I just love reading these tweets because it's just comes from such a dark place. She's got to be the most diabolical wag in the history of golf. For sure. Her tweets, like you said, are laugh out loud, funny. She had the whole situation where she called up the New York Times and had Patrick Reed give an interview to the New York Times like an hour after the writer Cup in where they got dusted. That whole week, she had a Twitter account where she was like roasting people and roasting

Captain Jim Furrick and roasting like Jordan Speed for not wanting to play. She single-handedly like torpedoed the Ryder Cup team to try to save face for Patrick Reed, which only got Patrick Reed more negative attention. Her tweet, I mean, even though everyone's going nuts about her burner account, she just tweeted from use golf facts, which is a phenomenal handle. Someone tweeted he moves sand forcibly with his sandwich in a bunker to improve the lie. This is grounding your club and then there is using it as a shovel. He was penalized for using it as a shovel.

She responds, this is too good. You seem to know nothing. Waste area and bunker are not the same thing. Different rules. And the infraction wasn't improving his lie. Fool. No sense. wasting time with people who don't understand the rules of golf or cite the proper infractions.

At Farity, to think all this time you had a mind of your own. Shame. She is just diabolical. She's awesome. She's really, really good. The first tweet from that account, is, and maybe this was to throw people off the scent that, like, no, this isn't a Patrick Richard Reed burner account or Justine Reed burner account.

It's in response to a Steve Nash, Marshon Lynch video, where Marshawn Lynch gets out of an SUV and there's a bunch of Skittles in there. And she just said, this is hilarious. And then goes on to just rip everyone who says something bad about Patrick Reed. She saw something came across her radar. You know what? That's funny. I created this Twitter account because I saw this hilarious Marshawn Lynch video, but now I'm here to defend my husband.

So you're right. She's great. must file at use golf backs. I heard that she's gone through and deleted a bunch of tweets. Oh, do you follow the account? I should start following this. Oh, buddy. What an idiot.

How stupid am I? How stupid am I followed right now? The only thing that they've ever liked, as Jane pointed out, is the defending Patrick Reed article. Yep, only like in the history. The title of the article is defending Patrick Reed. That's the only like in the history of the account. So I love it. Diabolical.

We've seen her walk across the green. We have video of it at the PGA Championship Bedpage Black like Circy Lannister in her Sersie Lanister. She also knows something's up because we all just followed her at the same time. Also, joined in December of 2019. So, like, the pinnacle of everything happening, we're just going to create a total. I wonder. We also have, like, she's followed us from Patrick Reed's account as well.

Like, she follows Trent. She follows me. I don't know that I showed you guys, but at one point at, like, 3 a.m., Patrick Reed's account just responded to one of my tweets with, like, a clear, like, pocket tweet. There was, like, a capital E and then, like, an. There's like, all it said. She does her work. And then a couple hours later, it was deleted. Maybe he tried to write help.

But it's like deleted the age and the peel. It's like, hell. Have you seen the exorcist? It's like in the exorcist. In the belly when the person's writing help from the inside of the stomach. He's getting dragged back into the bedroom. He's holding on to the wall. She's like, hell.

The nails are just scratching against the floors. He's getting pulled back against the wheel. Man, that's good stuff. You're kidding me? Yeah, I mean, Patrick Reed's, actual official account only follows 2994 people and me and Trent are a couple of them. So she's on to us. I mean, that's not Patrick Reed.

We know that. Wait. Wait. So you said you got the tweet in the middle of the night, which we now know was like a help tweet that Frankie said. And I got followed by the account at 2 a.m. on Christmas Eve morning or whatever. I think Patrick Reed wakes up in the middle of night, sneaks onto the account. He follows you and me.

And he's like, that's an olive branch being like, can you please come help? me. I need help. You're so right. So what are we supposed to do, you think? Because you can't DM the account because she's going to see that. It's the middle of the night. It's so good. You know?

She just rests her eyes and then he pulls out the phone. But then it's like a paranormal activity. Like doors start slamming while she had her eyes closed. He like creeps out to the door. She's boom. And then shuts on him. And then she's on the couch. She's like, why am I seeing these bachelor tweets from this barstool guy?

And he's like, oh, I don't know. Must be some algorithm thing. got to explain it away, but it was really an olive branch to me in Riggs being like, I need help. What can we do to capitalize on this situation and get the most out of it? She's all over us. I wonder what she thinks of us. We need to get her on the show. I don't want Patrick on.

I want her on. Yes. He's just a pawn. Getting him on is not that's the... He's just a pawn. He's just the guy who hits the golf ball. Getting him on would be like... Everything else about his life is her.

Getting him on, getting him on. He literally said that, though. He literally said that. Remember when they asked him about, like, remember when they asked him about, like, how do you deal with all this controversy? He's like, my life is set up. So all I have to do is show up play golf when I come home. Which is why I really like it. Me too.

I love it. Like, I love that lie. I am. Getting him on would be like in the movie Independence Day when that alien comes to life and kills that doctor and throws him up against the glass and says, release me. That would be like us getting that doctor on. It's like, that's not. The doctor doesn't have any thought. We need the guy behind the guy.

We need the alien on. Somebody pulled the strength. She would be the best guess we've ever had. Oh, she'd be amazing. God, the questions. It's been weeks of those questions. If we ever got her on in some alternate universe, people would say, oh, she's not going to give you the full story. She's not going to be truthful.

I think she would be so into it that she would be like, she would say things without even realizing it. Big time. I mean, yeah, she can't help herself. That's the way she tweets. That's what I mean. We'll be like, we'll have you on, but we'll call you at use golf facts. We'll be like we interviewed used golf facts. We'll use a voice module.

Uh-huh. And be like, people can think, you know, you can draw your own conclusions about who it could be. But we have used golf axes on the podcast. Genius. That's smart. Top performers in business and sports often attribute their success to their morning routine, whether it's waking up early, setting their goals for the day, exercise, or meditation. But not everyone has the time to do it all.

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He says it's Sunday at the Masters and Tiger Woods, Kevin Kisner and Roy McRoy are all tied for the lead going into the back 9 in the final group. Who are you rooting for? The best way I can explain this is that I would say Kevin Kisner is the only guy on tour who we're not a fan of, he's like our friend. So I think it's quite different at that point.

It would be like if your brother's in the final round tied with Tiger Woods going in the back nine, are you really like not rooting for your brother? So I think in that instance, I don't know how we wouldn't be rooting for Kevin Kisner because he's just like our boy. He's like our buddy. He's our friend. So I think it becomes very different. The biggest guy we're the biggest fan of in the world, at least me personally,

is obviously Tiger Woods. It's not even close, but I don't consider, like, kids we're not fans of. He's just, like, he's, like, one of us. He's our buddy. It would be outrageous to watch him win. It'd be crazy to watch him battling Tiger down the stretch of the Masters. Even though just, like, our next time seeing him,

and, like, next time he calls to the show, whatever, it's, like, just so Masters Champion, all the little stories he would have for us, what happens inside. He goes to the champions there every year. Everything would just be. Everything would be so elevated. And also, he would be.

Also, he would be. just much more on the map globally as a golfer too it's not it wouldn't just be barcel fans or guys who know like that he's a good dude like he already is a top golfer in the world but if you win a master's and you already have a decent season each year I mean he would be a fucking super son you get announced everywhere you go as a master's champion why he'd be a super star you're a master's champion so that's that's kind of where I sit on it um I know Trent probably would say Roy McElroy no no I wouldn't I wouldn't I'm with you on the Kevin Kinsner thing and in terms of Kisner versus Tiger, it makes it easier now that he had just won one.

He's like, if it was, we are still living in the space where he's still sitting on 14 after all those years. Our opinion might be a little different, although I don't know if it'd be that different. I know people say, and I do say, that I'm a huge fan of Rory because I am. I still would take the American side on like, if we were still talking about the Ryder Cup. Are you still trying to defend that, huh? I'm just, you know, I'm just saying. You know, yourself in a real pincor a couple years ago. I ultimately said I would side with him.

Americans. So in terms of this with Tiger Roaring and Kisner, Rory comes in third, and I think you got to root for Kisner, just because all the reasons that you guys said. That would be such, it would just be so cool for the show, for Kisner, for everybody. It would be. And then, I mean, if you got to the point where it's Tiger and Jack are tied at 18 or something. Yeah. And they're down this, then, like, I might be like, Kiz, sorry. But at this point, if it's like, you know, the 16th versus the 15th or you're talking Kevin Kisner, our buddy, like, life-changing, you know, legacy changing, it changes his family's life for, like,

generations to come if he wins the Masters, and that's like our pal, then I don't know how you don't say. It's almost like you don't have a heart if you don't say Kevin Kisner at that point. But it's a tough one. Dave tried to really force a wedge issue out of that one last year, too, and then tried to do his whole bit where he's like,

well, you guys aren't even target fans, this, that. But, yeah, that's where we sit on. That'd be a tough one. It'd be a very, very tough one. It'd be so much fun to watch, though. It'd be awesome. Like, it would be... I don't know where my brain.

And Dewey coming down the stretch would be so good. Dewey falls going to 18. That's what I was going to say. Yeah, he just falls and it's like, oh, boy, there he goes again. You see, like, Tiger Norke's even, like, boink about trying to help. No. No. That would be so much fun.

It would be, I mean, it would take years off of our lives, but it would be so much fun. That would be stressful. He'd be rooting for everything to happen. Like, you always have, like, when Monar hit in the water, we're all going nuts. Yep. When Kepka hit in the water, when phenout hit in the water, we're all going nuts. That meant Tiger is going to win. These two would be like you're rooting for everyone to do well.

I don't know. It'd be exhausting. It'd be mentally, emotionally exhausting, but I think that's probably where we would fall on it. Kyle says, while playing snake, my buddy Josh, will be a pussy and putt from the fairway and deep fringe, but doesn't think it should count as a putt because it's not on the green. What are your thoughts? Also, any gambling games you suggest while playing. Yes, I suggest a lot of gambling. Snake's an awesome game.

If you don't know it, anytime somebody three putts, you owe five or ten bucks to the pot, whoever's the snake at the end of the whole thing has to pay everybody out. with the pot. It's usually keep it to five bucks because if you got to pay, you know, if you got to pay three different people, 15 bucks or something, you're down 45 already. It could be a tough day. There's a couple different ways to play it. One, anytime you use a putter, that counts as putting. The other way is you just do the technicality of it. So if you're technically off the green, it doesn't count as putting on the PGA tour,

so you don't count it in here. So really depends the way you guys are playing. Maybe I have anything else to add. Snake's an awesome game. I think that's great. I hate the game snake, but I think it's... Well, you're horrible. I don't think you count it as a put.

No, I don't think you do. Unless you're on the green. It's just got to be predetermined. I would play. You got to be on the green because at that point it's a strategic thing where it's like, yeah, you can use a putter here and you can also use a wedge. Whatever you want to do, it just doesn't kind of the putt. That's just the way the game of golf.

That's the actual rule. Yeah, that is the actual rule. Yeah, I agree with that. Buck says if every time you fist-bump Tiger, you absorb some of his powers, but he lost his. So it makes you a scratch golfer, but it takes away the same amount that it added to you. Would you take this? I'd beat the shit out of him. No.

What do you mean? No. Boy, would it be fun playing really good golf. You beat the shit out of him or you never took him. You don't take a little bit. No. You take it all. Nobody ever does one.

You take it all. You either form tackle him and beat him into the pavement. Are you guys insane right now? He's already the best golfer of all time. Arguably. I mean, some people can say, Jack, Nicholas, whatever. That right there. That's why you don't do it.

That's like my friend. That little blow. That's why you don't do it. He still may not get it. He still may not get those. So, um, 26 years old. How does it affect your life if you're going to become a fucking professional golfer? I'm going to make millions of dollars

I'm going to be one of the best golfers ever What are you insane I'm 26 years old I can win fucking everything I can win everything If I'm if I'm 20s to 1 It can't be 1 to 1 it can't be 101 Because that's not fair Because what you're saying is that is true

I'll just live an awesome life It has to dilute a little bit every time It can't be straight away Because the law diminishing the question The question ultimately becomes Do you want to be Tiger Woods or not Right No no do you want to be Tiger Woods

But Tiger Woods becomes like you Which I guess now that I think about that It becomes pathetic Imagine if Tiger Woods Started hitting golf balls like us Right He becomes like completely pathetic He kind of did 2015

Does he continue to play golf Like it ruins his fucking reputation He goes down as like one of the Or it all starts swinging where You just quit And he becomes Dave's guy He becomes a club anymore

Too stiff He would just quit Yeah he just says he's too stiff Fine No We already live in a world In which Tiger may not And we're all rooting for

We all think it's gonna happen Exactly protecting the boss man But I'm just, I'm using facts here. Security now comes up to Frankian and says Frank. I'm using facts here. If I have the chance to absorb his powers, why wouldn't he want that? Why wouldn't you be like, yes, take this younger version, like this younger body, take my powers. I'm almost done.

I have three or four years left. You'll have 25 years left. You're not taking Tiger back in 2000. You're taking Tiger now. Right, but I have a 26 year old, like I'm like more nimble. My back is good. Yeah, you have his skills now. I have his skills now.

I turn to a 26 year old Tiger Woods. I have his skills. because I beat him to a pulp. In this scenario, it says every time you fist bump him, you get a little bit of his powers. I have him on the ground, and I'm pile driving him into the ground.

I'm like, give me that draw. Give me that stinger, every single shot. Imagine this just fails miserably, and he just beats his shit out of Frank. When he sees Frankie coming from my way. And I love Tiger more than anyone in the world. I'm just saying, I love him so much, I want to be him.

In this situation, yes. It's a little bit like John Lennon, the guy who killed John Lennon, wanted to be him right that's a little dark it's dark yeah let's take it one just one I know that was a little too much I thought it's too real it's too real that's too real that's too real that's why I think it's because the scenario the scenario the scenario the scenario the what is Susan Sarananin sin area it's basically do you want to be tiger woods or not and the answer is always going to be yes but you're also like ruining the guy that you love you're ruining that's where it gets dark right

it's almost like makes golf not worth watching anymore but that And again, it will be because you'll just be playing it. And you'll be like in his side. Yeah, but you'd ruin the game of golf. Why? This new upcoming guy. Imagine the story. Blogger from Barstool Sports.

A kid with a gut and no muscles at all. Moon face. Who has a moon face. All of a sudden wins the Masters. That would actually save golf. Oh, it'd be every because everyone would think they go in the ass. I'm like, hey, Jesse, you want to do that lefty versus lefty again? I have all scuff marks on my fucking, on my knuckles because I just got into a fight with Tiger Woods.

now I'm just the best golfer ever. He's like, what is happening? You, like, people would hate you because they would know what happened. You beat up Tiger Woods and took his power. I get murdered. What's your guy's answer? So I was looking at it not as like, I'm going to beat up Tiger Woods and punch his fist 8,000 times to take all of it.

I was looking more of it like a one to one, like, would you take being a scratch golfer to like take off that same amount of Tiger? I don't know what that amount is. That's just, that's a no way. That's the worst answer ever. Right. In that singular. Like, it's either I tie him down in a chair and chain his arms down so I can pound

him as much as I want, give him as many fist bounds as possible, or I never touch him again. So what you're saying, would you give up any skill in yours? Let's say he's at like a 92 right now. Would you give up all of your, like, like 70% of your skill to get him to 100 to ensure that he's going to win? Yes. So you would be just the worst golfer ever for the rest of your life? Yes. Really?

I can't break 100. No chance I would do that. Really, Lurch. I love to go. No, can I, can I, can I, it takes your powers in that? I just have no, like, I just have a terrible assort. It's like, it's almost like, but you like, no, at the end of the day, I like playing golf more than I like walking. Okay, it's like a video game.

When you're, like, creating a player, the attributes, you get like 90 points to spread around your attributes, like when you're making an MLB player or a golfer or whatever. Now, now you have 30 attributes to your name and Tiger has, like, Tiger has 90. Would you give up 10 of yours? To get him to 100. 10? Yeah. Out of your 30, like, 30 gets you to like an 86. Yeah, so you're...

So now of a sudden you're shooting 99s, 100s, 100s. You're 33% worse at golf now. You're 30% worse at go. It's not that bad, man. That's pretty fucking bad. Come on. Come on, long as long as bed. Get in.

You go from like a 7 to like a, you know. Would you say Trent is 33% worse at golf than you? I don't know, probably. Yeah. Yeah, you go from you to trim. 33% worse. 33% worse? I mean, that's impossible.

And we were both, like, we both shot in 80 on the same golf course in the same day. How could I be 33% worse? Over time, I think you're about 33% worse. That's a big percentage. It's me. I'm the better example. That means I'm shooting 100. You're shooting a 70.

You're not doing that ever. Right. That's me. You're like 15% better than that. I was just making a bad job. You're like 15% better than 10%. I wouldn't do it. Like, I like playing golf too much.

I like, playing golf. Same. I love playing golf. So playing and sucking and knowing that I used to be like pretty good, would just ruin it forever. It also brings him to 100. I know if you're just winning him, like, you're watching him

during all four majors, and you're just like, it's back to 2000 again. But, like, we still get that occasionally, I think, without having to give up all your skill. Well, then you're super high on Tiger right now, if you think we're going to get that a lot. I'm just weighing everything in

and knowing how much I cherish and love being able to go to golf courses and at least, like, play my game, whatever it is, fucking shooting like 83 all the time. And I'm pretty happy with him. I really very much enjoy golf, that then sucking and being like where I can't play a hundred, no offense, Trent, would be, and I've had bad rounds, too. We've all had horrible runs. It's not that much fun.

You guys are tied? Same number. I wouldn't do it. I don't think I would do it. What if you would give him all the power and then just knew you did that? So threw down like a couple hundred bucks on him, and then you're making a profit on it. Yeah, so I thought about that. But then the whole world would know that he's playing better so they could bet on the two.

But he would know, not until before the tournament. Riggs would give him, you know, a couple pounds before the tournament. And then Riggs would make a ton of money on those odds. And then all of a sudden he starts playing better. Odds go down. You don't make as much money. You become rich. But then, you know what I want to do with being rich?

I want to go fucking play golf every day. That's where I want to do. What else do I want to go? What am I going to go bowling? If I could hit, like, one pure golf ball around, I would take it. Just like one pure golf ball, I would do it. I think you would genuinely stop liking golf. Like, it wouldn't be enjoyable.

No, like a shitty little. million people that like out that don't break 100. Correct. But knowing that you were good the day before and you just can never get it back, it'd be so infuriating. That sucks. Because no matter how, even if you practice, you're saying I just would suck. You'd suck.

You can't get there. No, I really don't care. It's taking so many ricochet shots. No, it's not really. I don't care. Okay. Yeah. I feel okay about it.

I, official, I would not do it. I wouldn't either. And I want Tiger to do it on his own. Yeah. Exactly. You got this, Tiger. I wouldn't do it. I don't have much to offer.

I don't know if I could, like. Would you guys, are you on the Frankie side? Would you pull the old Tiger to get his skill? Yeah. Dude, if I could take all of it, even 33-year-old me, you know? Like, I'd have, I'd be all of Tiger's skills. I'd have at least another 12, 15 years of being able to compete at the highest level and be the best player of all time.

I'd be worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Right. I'd win golf terms of all the same. It's a no-brainer. Right. That's where the- that's where the dilution thing comes in where you has to dilute a little bit.

And the worst thing is Tiger would go down as like tied for or the best or worst case like barely the second best player of all top. You'd have to like tie him down your basements but like chain him up so he could still work on his game and you could go down there and suck that good training right out of him. You know what I'm saying? That's sick.

No, I'm not. That was a sick. That was a sick scenario you just came up. Yeah, man. You got dark thing. You think he's still going to be willing to practice if you got him chained up in the basement? I think he's going to be like, fuck this man. Yeah.

already went through that, dude. I'm just thinking how I could get better because, like, I'm not going to train every day. Yeah. You know, he could be that trainer for me. And the sick and twisted iteration of that, that is a possible thing that could happen. Bay Hill. Bay Hill Invitational, Arnold Palmer. Love Arnold Palmer.

Great drink, too, by the way. Enjoy the golf tournament. Tiger's not playing. He should be back next week at the Players' Championship at Saltgrass. But Bay Hill, one of the greats always delivers a lot of drama, tough golf course. 18th hole is iconic with the rocks right there. Tigers made a million putts to win golf tournaments. there.

Pretty damn good fields. A lot of good players playing. So enjoy the golf this weekend. You can follow along. Myself and Lurch, not Frankie. We'll be out in the Monterey Peninsula at Pabell, Spanish, Spyglass. I hope you get the coronavirus. That's, come on.

Really? That's a bummer on beyond. You know? You'll be thinking about the whole flight there. Oh, the whole flight. You think I'm going to bed, not a shot. I wonder what airport. Like, are we getting to the point now where there's going to be less people at the airport

when you guys go tonight? It's going to be a goat. That would make me very scared if it's a ghost town. Like, I think we're getting to that point now. Terrified. Which is very scary. Dude, it's everywhere. It's in every country, every city.

It's like the coronavirus is just everywhere. We're going to get it. We're obviously going to get it. Do you guys have a pick for this weekend? No. I'm on Tony Fee now. I was going to say, clearly you have a big pick. Give us your pick.

Well, I think we should do picks going on this podcast going into the weekend. I think that's someone we should implement. We can have a year-long competition. Well, I will say it's very dependent on my schedule. Like I'm very front-loaded my weeks with like people love to have the meetings for Barstow Classic and all that stuff. Radio, we do two podcasts money. So a lot of times by the time the tournament kicks off, I like haven't even looked at who's in the field. I'll give you an answer.

Sanders Shafley. I like that. He's 20 to 1. He has four. What's Finaw. He's not even listed. He has four top 25s in his last five events. No, he is just a not in the top 10 of this.

I'll take Patrick Reed. I will say I'm back on the gambling train because I bet on the blues to be. the Rangers last night, which they did. Eight straight. Islanders are in a free fall. It'd be the Islanders and the Rangers within the last week. They're the best team in the West. It's actually more scary than coronavirus. I was telling Frankie because he was,

Frankie does this thing in the morning when he'll walk in, and it's already Islanders talk. Doesn't ask anybody, but he just said Islanders and a free fall. And I asked him that if, or I told him that it felt like the winning streak that they were on when we were at Pinehurst feels like 10 years ago. It was 10 years ago. Because that's the winning streak is the only thing keeping them. They won, they had 17 games.

Point Street. It's the only reason why they're still in the playoffs. They've been under 500, I think, since. I've got to pick. Price and Deschambeau. Fuck that guy. I'm just kidding. That was a joke.

I don't know. I don't know. I think, come on. Dude. You know, fuck. He's 16 to 1. Yeah, why am I taking it back? Fuck him.

He's 16 to 1. He's had success at Bay Hill before, and he's looked very good of late, and he's pounding the golf ball. I'm going to pick Bryce. Trent, did you take Reed? I did, yeah. Okay. Excellent.

I like when there are things in the news about Patrick Reed, this burner count being the thing the thing now, it feels like he plays well. He likes it. Chip on a shoulder. Think of a season long game for this. Everybody takes a pick over in the weekend. Also, we got to give, we haven't done this in a while. We got to give Matthew Fitzpatrick a word assigned to say.

Let me think of something. What could he tweet out that would be, I don't want him to have to tweet out something problematic. Let's go with. Yeah, what's something he could tweet out that would both work as a sign that I listen to the show, but also would be like a topical thing that he could talk. Purell. Be like, yeah. Sneak the word pure.

into a tweet. Yeah. People would be like, what's that about? Just like, you got to be using PRRL. You got it. Matthew Patrick, come here face on it. We want confirmation that you're listening to the full show.

Do we want it to do like a company or should we just write like sanitize? That's fair point. Sanitized. That's true. Purell is synonymous. It's like Kleenex. Yes. That's what it is.

Yeah. Band-aid. I never even thought about it. Or do you want to do Purell? To be awesome trying to think of another one where the brand is so strong that we just associated it with the same. Band-aid. Somebody already said that one. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's fine. Bandaid is the company? Yeah. Bullshit. Isn't that crazy? Their market is so strong. Yeah. It's something else.

Kleenex, Band-Aid, Purell. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. They're, holy shit. Amazing. Holy shit. The brand name is called Band-Aid. Yeah.

Holy shit. They're called a Band-Aid. Brand-Ahesive bandages. Yeah. That doesn't work. It's Band-Aid. Band-aid. I'm so glad I was saying my brain's going to explode

let's think of one more than we'll be done with the show Band-Aid Kleenex Purell There's got to be another one Don't say it if you're Googling it Nope What's the one where you spray on the windows Windex? Windex?

Windex? I think it's another one I think we'll have to count that We'll have to count that We're done here We'll be back on Wow Band-Aid, wow Tuesday for

Players' Championship Week exciting times. We'll be at Pebble. Frankly, we'll be safe out there. Be careful. Hit it hard. Hit it hard.