Fore Play - Wilbur Live Show with Kiz & Kirk

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Our first ever live show coming to you from the Wilbur Theater in Boston. We’re joined by Kevin Kisner (00:27:59:21) and Kirk Minihane (00:54:33:12) with a special appearance from Frankie’s mental coach Dr. Bhrett McCabe (00:18:41:18) Much to discuss with LIV, Phil’s presser, the U.S. Open at The Country Club, and muuuuch more.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/foreplaypod

Hey, 4Play listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Foreplay, presented by Barstool Sports. This is our first ever live show. We're in Boston, obviously where Barstool was founded. I lived here for about 10 years. I appreciate you guys all coming out, so thank you very much. I'm going to begin the show by introducing my esteemed co-host.

I'm going to start with a broad-shouldered fella who's a corn-fed. well from the beautiful Midwestern part of the country. He's known in a lot of circles for doing everything he possibly can to pull a nice piece of luggage out of a room smoothly. People throw bras at him occasionally for this incredible move. He's also known in other circles as a man on a mission to break 90 over a complete round of golf. Please welcome from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Mr. Trent Ryan. All right. Oh, please. There we are. How we doing? How we doing? Great to see everybody. How we doing? Let's go. Great to see you guys. Very excited to be here. Are you going to stay? I'm going to sit. You can sit. Go for it. I'm going to sit. I'm kind of nervous, so I'm pacing. You're doing great. Thank you. Next up. We got one of the wildest brains in the history of planet Earth. He's fragile yet confident. He's known in a lot of circles. well from film and pizza reviews to the drummer boy in a fake band that sells out venues all over

the country. Which is true. It is true. Never in my life have I seen somebody happier when bad things happen to the things that they hate than they are when good things happen to the things that they love. From Long Island, Borrelli's restaurateur, Mr. Fregey Borrelli. This song plays better here than New Orleans, by the way. See, they got it.

Wow. And that's it. Oh, we're good. I look like a tube of toothpaste. You look really good. You were so self-conscious about going out there. Yeah, it's fine. I love everything about Peter Melo.

This is not my color. It's not. I love it. You can be honest. Oh, I don't have socks on today. I just got the ankles on. I know. I got good ones.

These are new socks I got. I was just do the show and not introduce the next guy, you know? You know, the best part is he's not on any of the graphics. Whoops. Last up, a man who was for years here in Boston and for years as well in New York City, my roommate and my best friend in this part of the entire country, he was added to the show. He has become, I would say, the anchor of the four-man scramble. He's a big fellow who consumes food in an unimaginable race.

when it's presented before him, Benjamin Lurch Severance from New Jersey. Still here, boys, still here. Good to see everybody. All right. How are you guys feeling right now? This is your first live show. I'm a bit of a live show veteran

because I've been on tour with the chicks in the office. Nobody threw bras tonight, which I'm a little disappointed in. Or underwear. I'll take any garment. How do you feel right now? A whitey tighties came your way. I'd love that.

What's that? Said a whitey tidies came your way. I'd throw them right on my shoulder. I don't care. Any love is love. So we're recording this. This is going to be as a podcast tomorrow. Yeah, if we say something stupid, we'll cut it and put that out.

So people are listening to this right now in their cars at home. Don't think about them. Think about them. Who are you playing to tonight? Just kind of breaking my brain a little bit. If I'm going to be honest. I want you to be honest. It's breaking my brain a little bit.

I want you to be fearless. So we start a lot of shows by saying we have a ton to talk about. But I would say over the last five days in the first five days in the golf world. There's perhaps never been more to talk about. The whole fucking thing's been flipped on its head. We're here for the United States Open. We got Kevin Kisner back there who's waiting to come out. He'll be out here very soon. We got Kirk Minahan, who's podcast, Jesus, who's coming out. I'm sure that he's got all kinds of takes as well. So there is much to get to. I want to start by saying we're here for the U.S. Open in general. Boston is, despite the fact that they've dominated the Cardinals

a few times of World Series. We did get our revenge with the Blues a couple years ago. And the Stanley Cup Islands, but Boston is one of the great sports towns in the country. They got ripped of the PGA tour event. The Northern Trust's not coming back in here anymore, or at least not in the near future, as often as it used to. The United States Open is five miles away from here. In Brookline, the course is immaculate. Kevin Kisner just told us behind stage that he thinks this could be one of the best U.S. Opens ever. So I think people, sorry to the Pioneer's crew that's here, but people were pretty jacked up for that, I believe. You guys read the course today. You saw Roy You knew who you guys were.

Crazy moment. Yeah, it was. It's weird. We're on the driving race today at the country club, which, by the way, shout out to the greatest game ever played. Maybe the best movie of all time. Oh, yeah. Francis we met.

Kind of how you got your start on the show. You love doing the hat wave. Oh, the hat wave. Sergio Garcia, the whole thing. I want to say that I got a bunch of tweets today being like, so we shook hands of Rory McElroy. We say congratulations to him for winning the Canadian Open. He comes up to us, does the whole thing.

We put it up on Twitter. and people are like, at what point are you guys going to stop, like, when are you guys going to drop the, this is surreal moment? Because I tweet out, this is fucking surreal. Never, where are we right now? You want to know what, dude? I ain't never going to fucking drop that shit. I think it's going to be normal for us to talk to Rory fucking McElroy?

He looked me right in the eye today. He goes, like, with his Irish accent, I almost fucking passed out. Like, I'm never going to be like too cool for school for that. So, yeah, today was fucking awesome. And I'm never going to apologize for that. Some people are saying at the 19 second mark that you looked at his dick. there's a lot of Did you glance?

Swear to God. I mean, he's not a handsome fellow. Early on was it. There's crazy evidence that I looked at his cock. I'm going to tell you right now he was holding something purple. I looked down at whatever he was holding in his fucking hand.

It looks like I looked at his ball sack. You were looking at his dick, dude. Just say it. It's okay. I wasn't, but I'll take that. I'll take it. Nobody's going to knock you for it. As if you wouldn't want to look at that.

Cory Macaroid. You've been in enough locker rooms. You've seen it in a bunch of average plays. I'd like to see it. Yeah. You ever seen Tiger Woods, Dick? Of course. Everybody saw it.

That's all right. That's the same thing. People are you're seeing it. I know. Those weren't gentleized behind that picture. People are out there, you know, like, oh, yeah, I've seen it. I didn't know he's going to go there in this weird live show. I'm just on the internet.

I don't, like, I don't control what goes on the internet. I just see it pass by here. We usually talk about this stuff. I'm usually in, like, my room. I know. We're talking in front of a lot of people. I know, dude. It's weird.

It's weird. I'm just looking at your guy's faces. Usually now there's a lot more faces. It's a lot of dick talk in the beginning of the show. It's a lot. More than I thought we were in that green room. More than you thought? When we're going through the show, I did not think we'd be talking about this many dicks.

Did you look at it? Rory's? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was wearing tight pants. We wore tight pants. It wore tight pants.

It's no doubt. Oh, wow. And he does not have the Irish curse. Not from what you could tell? No. So we were debating backstage pretty much the entire time before we came on here

about Liv Gough, about Saudis, about where everything's going in the entire world. Phil Nicholson's press conference was today at the United States. So, but first time he's really faced U.S. media in four or five months. I thought it was one of the weirdest

and worst moments I've ever witnessed from Phil Nicholson, which is shocking for someone who's obviously phenomenal with media his entire life. again we were kind of debating a little bit thoughts on Phil Locelson's facial hair he looks beat up

he looks like a divorce collar he looks like he just got divorced but like three months later it hasn't gone outside and he wasn't the one that wanted to get divorced Ken Jack from Barstall said he looks like a Neapolitan ice cream where it goes from chocolate to strawberry to vanilla it's just dark and he just

he has that fucking hat tan that's about right it's so good He looks disheveled. He looks like he's been through it, which I can't decide if I'm being a conspiracy theorist where he's doing that on purpose. Yeah, but he's not out of it yet.

So he's still in that just tornado. Like, I think he should have been, his agent should have kept him inside for a longer. But they cut him like a $200 million check. Like he should have a few smiles on his face. Like, regardless of how you feel about everything. Like $200 million, that gives you a good skin complexion. Do you stand by your stance that he's doing this all as like,

like he wrote this down with a PR team to have a certain look during these interviews? I am. Yes. You do? Yes. We're talking about a guy who for the last couple of decades has been the most performative, like controlling, manipulative man of the media. And I like Phil.

That sounds like I don't like him with those words that I just used. But that's how he is. So to think that he's now, how old is he now? He's 50, 51, that he's now going to be like, nah, never mind. I'm just going to show people who I really am. Frankie, you have a kind of a, we all stand on the wrong side of the golf ball connection with Phil. You still love Phil? I love the lefty.

It sucks that he's gotten himself in this position. Listen, I think that at some point I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he did want to do something that would make the game better or whatever. That's what he says. That's what he claims. I think he's gotten himself in a ridiculously bad situation, said some horrific things that he's never going to be able to get back. But it just sucks that, like, I think Brandl said this today on live from that, like, not one question during that. interview was or not one statement was like hey you're the oldest winning major champion of all time like not one time are we thinking about Phil Mickelson as Phil Mickelson at one point I hope

we get back to that because I do think like you know people make mistakes they do whatever that whatever Phil Mickelson's one of the greats of golf history and I do want to be able to remember that in some vein Peter Mollar ladies and gentlemen we are geared up head to toe right now I actually got these they call them cape red wow those are nice cap red yeah you like these Kirk. That was just sweet. I wasn't sure when I first put them on. Yeah, some people called Nantucket Red. You do look very preppy, but also ready to play around a golf.

I like that. That's not Samin. Do you find it? No. Okay, I don't know. Cape Red, also known as Nantucket Red. Look at you with the eyes. Do you do you find it weird that we wear golf clothes to talk about golf? Not really, because I, so I was driving here and I had my little league coached shirt on, and

I purposely changed my clothes in the golf clothes, which is really weird. I'm doing it on the highway. I'm thinking, this is a very bizarre activity. Why am I doing this? We're not playing golf, I don't think. We went to battle with Dave Portnoy for years about

you should wear golf shoes to a golf event. Absolutely, yes. And it's just, it calls for it, right? The golf course, like you wear golf. Like, you wear golf course. Because that's what the golf course calls for. So when you go and watch an event at a golf course, you should wear golf. You're going to be walking the golf course.

I've always been on the sneaker side. You're not playing? No. I would say put on the comfiest shoes you have. Like those things are, that's a nice shoe. What if you're walking through mud and like, you know. But that's what's on a golf course. But isn't it amazing that we can disagree on the shoes,

but you always agree that you wear a nice, really good golf outfit to a golf course, regardless of if you're playing or if you're watching. And that's usually Pita Milar. Well, because it's the comfy as close as possible. 100%. Good call, boys. Peter Mollars cradle pullover features longer than 60 seconds. That guy still doesn't talk by the way.

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to shop the entire line and use code for play for complimentary shipping. He looks like you got like Lost at C when I see. I know. He sucks. He's in it right now. He's absolutely in it right now. I don't know.

The whole thing's fucking confusing to me. I'm not nearly smart enough to know the whole. You think that's a strategic move to look the way he looks. I think he's so calculated. Yeah, I think he wants to come out there and be like, man, this wasn't easy on me, guys. No. This is really hard. See how tough it's been?

He looks one step away from death. He's got $200 million. If he wanted to look like a million dollars, he could just look like $200 million. Like he looks... You're almost saying that with that money he did plastic surgery or something like that to look the way he looks back. He looks like his best friend should be Wilson out there with fucking Tom Hacks. It's funny because you've never seen him with a beard. And I said this to my dad the other night, he went and got dinner.

I said, Dad, you've never had different facial hair. my entire life. I've only know my dad with a mustache. I said, just grow a beard one time. He goes, you don't want to see that. That's what he told me. And now I see Phil Mickelson, I agree with him. You don't want to see that. You don't want to see someone that you've always seen a certain way in a different life. Their face

just changes. Changes. If my dad shaved his mustache one day, I'd die. Yeah, you'd have to have him arrested. 28 years of seeing the guy the same way, and one day he just shows up with no mustache, I'd fucking kill him. You'd be like, who's this guy with mom? What's going on here? You'd have to sell the restaurant. change the logo

so we're in Boston Boston fans have a certain reputation do you think Phil what kind of reception when they announced Phil Nicholson on the tea on Thursday morning you think he gets booed heckled what do you guys think you think he gets booed

wow I got food here I got booed last year against the fucking Bruins and I told you all to suck my dick and we fucking beat your ass you remember that shit I saw you there I told you to go, fuck yourself.

But yeah, I do think they get, I think. That's a stronger reaction, though, than I would have guessed. They booed everyone here, and I fucking love it. The islanders are playing the Bruins, so that makes sense. That's a good sports town, you know? Like when something happens, they probably get behind it. They're going to eat this up. Boston's going to eat it up.

But Phil didn't do anything to Boston. Well, I mean, you could argue. Did some of the U.S., I guess. Boston's in the U.S. That's true. You know. From our hotel room, we saw people toss and fucking box the tea into the fucking room. That's a weird thing that you could.

guys do it's a weird thing they did you guys are still doing that i guess it's probably not you guys it's probably i mean frank and i're talking show we'll probably be there tomorrow doing it but we look at our window in our on our hotel and people are throwing fake boxes of tea here's video there's fucking i mean you can't see this oh yeah let them see it frankie awesome fucking boxes of tea and it's it's just weird it's a weird thing what do you think booze what booze bill mitchell mickleson booed try to keep on the topic what are we talking about I'm talking about Phil Mickelson being booed. Where are we?

What city? I thought you said booze. Yeah, I said that. Like Alka. Yeah, I think he gets... Yeah, I know I did. I think he gets booed. I think it gets more like Friday, Saturday, it'll be a lot of booze.

Get people liquored up and they'll be going for it. Yeah, I don't think anybody cares unless he's in contention. Might be a little awkward to boo. The more I think about it, like, actually ripping a boo at a golf event would be crazy. Boom! It's just so quiet there and it's like... I did. see he was with a, I think he's with Oostahusen and somebody else that I think they're all

live guys. Ustahusen went to live. Yeah. They're just buzzing those fairways with F-16s just as they're trying to, just to show them we're here. So someone submitted a question. They were like, do you think in majors in the future all the live crew should come with like lived out? Yeah.

It's almost like a writer. Yeah, right. But I'm not supporting the tour, but if they started to really lead into that, I would laugh. People are saying the fans are too chaotic, you know, in the Ryder Cup. Could you imagine Liv versus the BGA Torby fucking, right? I mean, yeah, it's good versus evil. Imagine Phil showed up in like a Saudi

Prince outfit. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. He like, he like takes off the garment and about the TV. He's like, what the fuck is this? It's like, it's my contract. I don't know.

I got $200 million. I'm going to fucking do anything you want me to do. $200 million. I'm like Philips. Caddy's on a chain. There could be some ugly stuff. I witnessed on the range today. Patrick Reed made sure that he got to high five

Dustin Johnson. He was like, we're in this together, right? Like this is pretty crazy. And DJ's like, I don't know, man. Like I got way more money than you. We noticed that guys were,

I felt like guys that were not on live were actually making like a point to say hi to the live guys. I noticed a bunch of guys going out to Patrick Reed, Dustin Johnson on the drive range, being like, you know we can still talk to you, right? Which I think is more of like a guy, player code where it's like, I understand,

Justin Thomas alluded to this where he's like, I'm not just going to not talk to these guys for the other. It's going to be weird. They've seen the same people every week for a year. Catties know each other. In years. Right. They go out of the dinners together. They play a writer cup teams together. And now you're just going to be like, hey, you're getting paid by somebody else. You even threw Bryce on a bone today, which I thought was nice of you.

I felt like you were kind of doing that same thing. Because we don't talk to Bryson anymore. Bryceon walked by us like a sad puppy. Yeah. It would have been funny if you were like, fuck you, Bryson. I don't know. We have a weird relationship with Bryceon. I was like, hi, he turned around and he goes, oh, hi, guys.

He was very prepared. He looked like no one had said hi to him in like two months. Yeah, it was weird. That's how we're asking. It could be possible. Probably somebody just hasn't. We're so Billy Horshal today, by the way. Yeah, he did.

And he heard his finger fishing. Said it on video. We put it out, right? Yeah. So that's actually good betting information. Breaking moose? It's breaking moose. He heard his foot.

fingers. He said it's like heart. It was like hurting him all day. You know how he talks too. Maybe he plays really well. He just hurts his finger every day. 100%. First thing I thought about it. You see him with a band-day tomorrow. You know he's on one. He just goes out into the boat and just jams every single fucking Wednesday. That's true. Yeah, that's forgotten about that. He's crazy with those. How was it with Billy Ho? Good? It was good. It was good. It was nice to see him in real life. I thought maybe he'd sucker punch me. Oh, I would finally see my face. I have a punchable face. So I think when he sees me in real life, he'd be like, oh, I actually fucking hate that guy. Through the computer, it's like very cordial.

You guys share a mental coach. Yeah, we do. Is Dr. Brett McCabe in the building right now? It's hard. We can't see anybody right now. He just said, yo? Get on. Hey, oh, we're going to get Dr. Brett McCabe up here.

We have kids coming up, but we're getting him up here. We got to get kids up here. Yeah, we'll get kids up here. Are we bringing your guy up or what are we doing? All right, come on, Dr. Brett McCabe, get up here. You can see him? You can see him? How can you see it?

Yeah, that's fine. For anybody that follows Barstool, this guy looks just like large. So be prepared for that. Yeah. Dr. Brett McCabe, my mental coach. What's up, boy? How's it going? What's up, brother?

How do you deal with this guy over here? Who's that? Yes. How do I feel? How do you deal with him? Oh, deal. What was your first? Hold on.

What was your first? Frankie comes to you. You have a session. Are you guys on like a couch? Is it Goodwill hunting? A couple chairs. Okay. And what? Are you like, you sizing him off? This guy?

I'm trying to figure out who this guy is. I mean, the way he talks about himself is not the most positive thing in the world. And so the self-talk dialogue that we all have, Frankie's is pretty shit. And what did I keep telling you? You're a lot better than you say you are. Well, yeah. Sometimes. Do you text that to him sometimes? Sometimes.

Usually late at night around 10, 30, 11. stuff like that. But I compared you to Billy, right? Yeah. And I listened to the podcast. I thought it was great. Thank you. But you shit all over yourself.

And so when you go to hit a shot, you don't give yourself the chance to have success. So the minute you fail, it's like it just builds on each other. Right. And that's why you suck. I love this guy. The best coach for me. Yeah, he is.

I love this guy. One of the things that I think that's going to really show in the series that we're filming with you is that, And it showed with Billy, and we talked about on the last podcast, is like, and I think everyone here that is a golfer can take a little bit of it. It's like, whatever your thing that makes you go or tick, you just got to go with it. You got to go with that flow. You can't, like, fall into some sort of mold that, like, we read all these articles on how to be a better golfer

and all these swing tips and all these swing thoughts, but, like, you got to do the thing that works for you. And that's the one thing that you preach to me where it's like, all right, you're very, you know, crazy and you go very fast and you tick very fast. Let's just do that on the golf. Well, I mean, we're sitting in my office, and he's, like, tapping his hands all time. And I'm thinking, why would you want to be calm? Yeah. You know, you got somebody like kids coming out, who's one of the best grinders of all time. Dude will cut your nuts off in a heartbeat if he has the opportunity.

Why would you want to take that away from them? And so we all have our own fingerprint, and what we need to do is learn who we are. Yeah. And each and every one of you are different. And so for you, why would you try to calm down? Your mind is going 10,000 miles an hour. 90% of them are bad thoughts. So let's not fight them.

Let's kind of funnel them and get him in the right direction. Do you know how funny it be if we just never brought Kiz out, by the way? Oh, it's the best. You know what? The kid doesn't go, fuck, he's drinking in the back. Just being like, yeah, I'm just going to listen to him. We gave him plenty of drinks back there. He's going to be okay.

What's your favorite part about working with professional golfers? Because they're the, to me, it's got to be kind of difficult, right? Because they're the best athletes in the world at their sport. And then you bring in this, like, other aspect to their game. Like, what's your favorite part of being able to work with them? I think seeing them win. and seeing them achieve what they believe that they can achieve and just haven't had that chance to do it.

You know, Billy winning, Sam winning, two of the last three weeks has been pretty cool to see. And, you know, hopefully a week like this where it's a massive challenge is to see them hoist the trophy at the end. You guys got to remember. I mean, every one of us out there thinks every day is going to be the best day of golf you've ever had

and then you're disappointed when it's not. Getting them to take the day that was not very good and make the most of it and end up hoisting the trophy at the end? That's pretty freaking cool. So what excites you about? working with Frankie then. Huge upside.

So I turned to my wife after dinner that night and I was like, what the fuck did I just get myself in? Because I literally was more nervous working with you than working with some of the guys I work with out here because I was like, I don't know if you're fixable. These guys, yikes. I can get lucky with guys like kids or somebody like that because they're so good. They're going to overcome bad teaching. But for you, if.

was like, holy shit, I just don't know if you can actually do this. And that's why I think when you chipped in, the joy in my heart was so high because I thought you could actually do. I mean, it was literally like, this is skating. You know. That's your, that's your mental coach being like, I don't think he can overcome any of them. He had to have therapy from his wife and did it that. That's like, like, we tell you that all the time, but we have, we don't have degrees. Like, he's got, you know, he went to college to be able to assess it. I'm fucked. Right. And then at the end of it just be like, ah. But you did it. I mean, it was a, I mean, it was a Amazing.

And not going to, that's just not the only good highlight either. No. There was some moments in there that it was literally shocking. And it was, I kept thinking, we're going to have to edit this again and keep doing it to get them to have success. And that's not the case. No. It was quite amazing.

It's all about, and I was telling these guys after we met you, it's all about having a foundation and a plan. And I don't think any amateur golfer that goes out there and tries to shoot their best score at their local golf course, their local country club, their local community. We always try and have the best day possible, like you're saying. We never have a plan. We just, like, hit the golf ball. And we get mad when it doesn't go the right way.

And you've, like, implemented this plan. It's fucking crazy. I've been golfing a lot with him. And he sees the difference in me when, like, I get frustrated and I just go and hit it. And it's just completely different than when I actually take my time, process the information, go through the system, go through the foundation. It actually works. Well, it's funny.

In Tulsa, we did the par three. Yeah. And then that group just kind of went to, like, I mean, we missed you. I don't think you were there. I was hosting. You were busy. Lurch is the most special guest we've had on the show this week, by the way. He couldn't used to use that joke.

Gotcha. I used it before. But we're all of a sudden in that group, then you guys are playing and watching the other guys in the group start shaking. Then Max showed up, and that just put it on nuclear. And you guys still did your thing. I mean, you just kept dropping bombs. But Max was like, God, that looks so much better. The process looks better.

And see, you get it. Yeah, you just got to go with the process. That's all it is. Handicapped down or not? Yeah, well, it got to a career high of like 10.9-11. We're down, we're down now. They were getting there. I mean, I don't know if you know that our course where we filmed it,

they shut the course down and blew up all the greens after you left. Really? Because of what I did to them? Yeah, so come back in October and you can play it again. Yeah, it's smart. You know what I like about you, Dr. Brat McCabe? You're a big inspirational quote guy on Twitter. Thank you.

I get a lot of good. I get fired out. I try. Use Dr. Seuss once. Make sure you follow me. What's that? You use the Dr. Seuss quote once. That's my daughter.

I give all the credit to my daughter. She finds them. She puts them up there. She has them. I like them. Well, look, we appreciate you coming up here. Unbeknownst to you. Unbeknownst?

Yeah. Good word, by the way. Unbeknownst to you. So enjoy your beer. Thank you for coming up. Dr. Brett McCabe. That's Frankie. Everybody.

Billy Horshaw. Burns. A bunch of guys. I'll try not embarrass you. That's good stuff. Maybe he just thinks the downside. It's like you can't get worse. So I can give a shot.

Yeah. I'm surprised he didn't put me in a straight jacket. Like the first day I met him, I was a fucking neurotic mess. I mean, look at... The first time ever going to therapy. Yeah, you're putting your brain to the test. And somebody's inspecting it. So it's like...

Him describing, like, the aftermath of his first day with you was like he went to therapy that day. It's crazy. It's incredible. No, I'm fucked up. If we have to do an advertisement for one company, what is your favorite one to get weird about there, Mr. Borrelli? It's Roman.

Mm, why? We're talking about making sure that sex lasts as long as possible. because sex is fucking awesome. This guy's laughing. What do you think, Kirk? Oh, yeah, I'm pro for sure. Yeah. You're pro- prolonging sex?

Well, yeah, yeah, certainly. And as you get to my age, I mean, you know, if it can help extend the process and we're all four, is near my, you know, my 80s at this point. Every time you had sex. The process sounds sexual. When's the first time you had sex?

I was four years old. What do you say? Four years old. Well, that's super impressive. What was his name? What was his name? He was a good guy. It lasts a long time.

There's no Roman back then. I'm so old that like Roman, like the original Roman. It was the Romans. They didn't call it Roman back then. They called it. What's that thing you put in your dick? They had no name because no Roman had been born yet. That's how long ago it was.

The more consistent you are with the swipes, the longer or better your sex will be. So in the future, it happens, you know, matter how old you may be. Studies show that on average, after one month using swipes, men last three minutes.

And after the second month, five and a half minutes. That's a 340% increase. I see a lot of googly eyes in the crowd right now. people like five and a half minutes. Woo. Five and a half minutes is like crazy, impressive.

What if we just sat here for five and a half minutes of silence and that would just be how long you'd be fucking with Roman? It'd be horrifying. You'd just be humping someone else. Imagine that long? All right. Let's do it. No, I refuse.

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when you choose a monthly plan. That's get Roman.com. 4, get your first month of swipes for just $5. All right, without further ado, we should welcome probably our most notorious, famous guest that we've ever had. Most beloved guests that we ever had on our show. We got to know this man through his boys who were big barstool fans who reached out and said, you got to have this guy. He's a hillbilly from Aiken, South Carolina.

You got to have him on the show. You got to have him on the show. Four-time PGA tour winner. One of the best putters on planet Earth and one of the best players on Planet Earth, Kevin Kisner. Oh, yeah. Come on, baby. Yeah. Whatever you want.

I don't care. A piece of grape come out. You know what's going on? I'll see where Dr. Brett said, dinn it in for me. What was your assessment of this whole situation between the Dr. Brett McCabe and that one over there? Dr. Brett's one the best in the world, man.

You're going to pick one. and then that guy needs lots of help we were talking backstage a little bit about one of the more infamous shots at palmetto golf club history that was hit by Frankie Burley and you I believe that's brought up to you quite frequently when you play

at home all across the country people anyone that has played palmetta's like how the hell did Frankie hit it in that pond so Frankie asked me backstage if I could get a sign put up that said Frank, he's pond. I need it. Well, it's a pond that's anyone that didn't watch the video.

There's a pond that's what, like maybe behind you off the first tee. And as a lefty, it's impossible to hit. And I obviously nervous as fuck. We're playing against Kevin Kisner, four-man scramble, got the whole thing cameras, the whole entire Palmetto, like, membership was out. Mafia, we call it. And I, of course, topped one behind my body, and it rolled down the hill.

Everyone went, ooh, like, this is going to be the one. worst day ever. And as people are talking, the ball's still rolling, and it just drops into this pond. And Kiz goes, I didn't know that was ever there. I've been playing here for 30 years. I've never seen that pond. We talked to Nate Bargazzi about it and he goes, can you imagine those fish inside that pond? They never knew they were on a golf course until that ball fell into their fucking home one day. What is this white thing? What the fuck? What the fuck is this? Taylor made fucking TP5. What the hell? kids you're one of the best players

where when's the last time you like topped a t-shot top I've shanked plenty top I don't think I can't You shake what happened or do you just We shank them all the time on tour What do you mean It's all the time

What do you just shank them every other hole We shake them over all the time too Do you look at Tillery like what the fuck was that Well You get over the initial like What the fuck and then you Then you calm down a bit You're like, all right, how do we not do that again?

It always had, like, I don't know if y'all saw my tweet, Justin Thomas shanked one of the Southern Hills and won the golf tournament. And I said, you're the luckiest dude in the world. Every time I shake one, there's always a pond over there. You just see trees and shit. I left a dummy mark on your driver. That's probably the last bad shot that it hit. Yeah, I forgot about that.

That's right. Torrey. Tori Pines dummy mark played with it all week. How'd you do that week? You made the cut? That's huge. Huge. Let's say you had like the worst week of your life.

This guy never be able to touch a golf club of yours ever again. That was just when I started working with Tilly. It was like, yeah, come on out here at the U.S. Open. Show me what you got. And I just fucking duffed it. And JT. was like, that's what I'm dealing with. He's got Kevin Kisner and that guy. Didn't you guys try and act like it was a good drive too?

You're like, whoa, it's fucking killing it. Oh, yeah. You looked at the driver and like, oh, shit, there's a mark. And I think kids were made a fucking. We tried to sell it on camera. You can't tell where it goes. I was like, you piped it. It went.

That's a huge. That's a huge behind the, you know, how the sauce is made. What am I trying to think of? Baseball one? What's that baseball? Inside baseball? You can just hit a golf shot and you can react like it was fucking right down the middle. No one knows the difference.

Especially a pop-up because it goes high and straight. He said I somehow missed the ocean. We aimed at the ocean and missed. Somehow I just remember you trying to put my glove on. And I was like, holy shit, you guys. got some big hands. Well, you got a little baby hands. You got it about halfway up. That was, that was the excuse. I said, I didn't have a glove. And I'm like, no,

no, I got one. You used my. Couldn't even get it on. Shove those sausage fingers in there. Yeah, no way. I can barely, like, I need like an Excel for sure. And that barely fits. So US Open. I feel like, you know, you're one who's had, well, you've come on our show. I've been like, yeah, I can't win the US Open. It's US Open week. Can you win the US Open? Yeah, around here I can. Let's go Let's go

A little shorter than normal USO-Bic courses, right? What'd you say? A little shorter than normal USO-B courses this one? Yeah, for sure and there's no quirky T-shots.

Does that make sense? Like, you hit it straight, it goes in the fairway. How many holes you've seen? Nine. So if the front nine's a bitch, maybe not. That's out there.

Whoa. The hell is this. It goes like he goes... 40, 30. Yeah, yeah, exactly. After the week, he's like 15 under on the back, 14 over on the front because he was talking... And that probably wins, so we'll be good.

That actually might win. Definitely. U.S. Open, Frankie. That's one over? That'd be 100. You said 15 under. 15 under is going to take it. And then 14 over from front.

He's not a bad guy, notoriously. So that'd be 100. She like tough courses, right? I like the ground, man. I like, you know, people like to get. give up in life and I don't, wow, that was pretty deep. Brett McCabe's here. I'm trying to show off. You have one of the greatest quotes on our last show with you where you said you just like to

eat souls. Yeah. That's in match play. Do you ever get that feeling when playing in a major? Like, have you ever gotten to that moment where you're like, I'm about to eat these guys' souls? Well, the course tries to eat your soul in majors. So that's kind of against the course. major especially U.S. Open is like Last Man surviving right? Who can put up with all the bullshit for four days not let it rattle you

and get it done. Obviously you need good breaks, you need to play well but there's a lot of shit that goes with it. It's not like a regular tour event where we're spinning back wedges and we're hitting four irons and five irons and a lot of difficult shots so by the end of the week

you can eat the golf course of salt. Do you know on a Thursday if you have it or not. Fact. Fact. Yeah? I mean, you know if you've got like your A shit. And are you able to turn it around?

Let's say you have an okay day Thursday. Have you ever found that you're able to just be like, all right, let's take that and let's just have a whole different game Friday, Saturday, Sunday? You can't turn it around that quickly, but you can definitely backdoor is what I like to call. Like, figure it out, get some good breaks, make some long putts. You know, I've had some great weeks when I thought there's no chance I'm making the cut this week, and I've missed the cut when I'm like,

this is my favorite golf course, and I'm striking it. So it's a very awkward game. So you've stood on a first tee on Thursday and been like, no chance. Don't know if I'm going to hit this ball. That's our guy. That's comforting, though, because everybody gets here. And all you idiots are standing 10 feet from me. And I'm like, I wouldn't be staring.

Oh, by the way, I smoked a guy today. What? You did? guy, right? Yeah. I had no idea because it was a blind shot. I'd never been there before, right? And I pushed it a little right on that par five on the back.

And I was like, yeah, that's probably in the fairway. Go up there, there's a dude laying on the ground. And I was like, did that hit you? And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, why are you standing there? That's a terrible spot to stand. That was your rebuttal when he's on the ground? You're like parading the guy about where he's standing?

Well, he got hitting the leg. Like, geez, stand up, bro. It's not like I hit him in the dome. I was like waiting on the ice packs. He's like, no, it's right here. So I wrote on the glove, that leg looks like it hurts. Why did it become the glove thing?

It's always the glove move. Well, I have no idea. How many gloves do you keep on you? You can't write anything on a ball. It sucks. Like when y'all ask me to sign a ball, I'll get kind of... How many gloves do you have on you in a bag?

Six or seven. Whoa. Yeah. How really got it? I always have a heavy rotation. But like four are used and then two new ones. I keep a lot of gloves, yeah. You know every glove fits different.

I see guys every week, we get boxes of gloves in our locker and they'll go through their box pre-week, pre-turnment round, and try every glove on and throw two out of the six away. Wow. No word. I saw some crazy shit. The PGA tour put out some clip of Justin Thomas getting ready the day. He was talking to Tony in the locker room.

Did you notice that he put his fucking socks on? on. So he put one sock on, then the shoe. And then his other foot was bare. And then he put the sock on and then the shoe. What do you fucking think about that shit? No one's ever accused him of being a brainiac. Holy shit, that was crazy. I thought that was the craziest thing I've ever seen. So he had one shoe, one's crazy. Just completely ready to go. And the other one was just bare. I'd never heard of that. No. I've never seen that in my life. Because like even when I play goalie, I would go left skate right to.

skate, but it was together. It was sock, sock, sock. You go sock, sock, sock, you don't go bare. It's like right boxer leg, right pant leg. Yeah, exactly. Now what? What do I do now? Do you have any weird superstitions like that where you like to do like things as you're getting ready? Not where I have one shoe and sock on. Not where I look like a freak. I'm pretty weird, but I'm not that far. If you had one, what would it be? I always mark my ball on heads. That's the only thing I can think of.

Really? And I'm weird, I fill in my pocket where the coin is and you can find heads with the coin. So you pull it out and it's on its own heads and I stick it. Have you ever pulled it out tails? I'm like, fuck it. I'm like, fuck it. I'm like, I'll try tails. Jesus. Doesn't work. It doesn't work.

It doesn't work. Stick to your routine. I got a weird question. How does, like, when you show up to the U.S. Open, do you have to like, be walking and like to a registration table? Are you like, hi, I'm playing in the tournament? Hello? Where's your credential? I'm like, it's kind of hard to get one if you've never been here. Dude, we saw you, Frankie

and I ran into you today and you looked like a lost puppy. You were looking around. You were in the crowd. You were in the crowd. I was never been there. What do you want me doing? We're like, kids, what are you doing? You're like, where's player dining? We're like, you're at the Mikkel of Ultratan. Like, what are you talking about, dude?

What are you fucking talking about? I mean, I'm sure all you know, I'm not real worried about the fans. Like, I'm going to hang out with them. I was just like, I think it's up here. And then I saw you idiots. And I was like, y'all know where we, where our stuff is? And they're like, you're just out here in the middle of all of us. I'm like, yeah, well, I saw a yellow house, but there's a lot of yellow house.

Yeah, everything looks the same. I thought it was that yellow house, but it's obviously not that yellow house. I got to this yellow house. Yeah, so you got to get at this week, majors, you got to go register. and then they have all your stuff. But they don't let you register before you come. So all the Boston cops and everybody on the way in are like, where's your credentials? I'm like, got to get them first, jackass.

Until I thought it went for sure. Yeah, that sounds like. How do I show you my credential if I don't have it? I tell you a funny story. Okay, sure. Pebble Beach, U.S. Open. You all know how, I don't know how many of y'all been to Pebble Beach, but like it's a maze to get to the golf course and then the usGA comes and they make it even

more of a maze so friday i'm going in my round and j t's driving riding with me i'm like jt do i go left here or right and there's like signs like a b c d i'm like i can't read all he's like yeah left for sure left i go left that's my guy go down this road i'm like this doesn't feel right jt he's like yeah i think i fucked you on this one pro i'm like i play in an hour and 30 minutes, but we're riding through the forest. And there's traffic and there's cops and there's barricades. And I'm like, I have to go this way. And they're like, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, I have to go this way. And this cop's like, you can. I said, I am. And I go. Well, I get like a hundred yards and he's radioed up to those cronies and they've barricaded me in. And so he comes running

up. He's like, I told you not to go this way. I'm like, dude, I'll tee off an hour and a half. I have to go. He's like, I don't care. He's like, what's your name? I said, Kevin Kisner. He goes, funny, never heard of you. I go, oh, shit. Damn. I said, well, what's your name?

And he said, Tom. I said, funny, never heard of you either. So then he made me call Robbie. Y'all know Robbie from the USGA and talk to him on the phone to let me get through. Holy shit. Yeah. Keep it in tight. Now, how'd you do that day?

Huh? How'd you do that? that day. I made the cut. Oh, there you go. You can't rattle me. No, I mean, if there was ever a situation to get rattled, then do that. That's so mad at that guy. Oh.

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Running doesn't bore you? You're just fucking running. Biking is like, I don't know, biking up hills. Biking uphill is painful. I have no running I can handle. I'm out of a biker. Do you run in like high school and everything? No, no, no, no, I was older.

Really? Really? Wow. Is it therapeutic for you a little bit? Oh, yeah, I'm totally fine. I've only been institutionalized five times since I started running. It's working. That's not bad.

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and get free shipping automatically applied today. So, behind the scenes, what's chatter like right now with everything going on with live with all that lots of talk lots of talk but you're on the player advice you're a big advisor you advise people big you're on the player advisory council I wouldn't say advise them

I listen to them and then vote accordingly you're on a council you guys wear like robes and shit when you have your meetings yeah just in the nude yeah yeah that's good that's good what do you guys talk about that's where I look best what do we talk about

yeah what do you mean especially now I mean how do you We talk about Saudi Arabia, which I know nothing about. Just the whole stuff. No, just kidding. I listen to a bunch of really smart lawyers talk a lot. I bet you love that. That's right up here out.

Yeah, exactly what I need to be doing. No, man, the players are good on both sides, from what I can tell. I mean, this is the first week where guys are mixing it up, playing. two different tours, basically. So it's crazy. Like, I play with Taylor Gooch today, and he played the live golf tour. It wasn't weird at all. Right.

Like, do what's best for you, man. That's kind of weird talk about. These guys are out there, and they're like, yeah, the guys that are on Live, we're just interacting with the guys that are on the PGA tour, like normal human beings interacting with one another. Yeah, it's going to be an interesting next 60 to 90 days, I would guess, and then we'll figure out the landscape of professional golf from there. Does it change anything for you?

Like, watching? Is it piss? not piss you out, make you jealous? Like you see somebody out there making a ton of money who's worse at you than golf? No, it doesn't, man. We all had an opportunity to go play. I mean, if you're the top 50 in the world, they wanted you, I would assume. But, you know, there's too many unknowns for me at the point, right? Like PGA Tour is the ultimate tour to play for professional golf is where all the legacy, tradition, you know, stability. And the other tour, there's a lot of unknowns now. They could be highly successful, and they have enough money to take over the golf world.

If money is the end game, then that might be your deal. I was thinking about this watching yesterday, watching Glory and J.T. battled out. How much of, I mean, you're, again, for us, we don't really understand. You're one of the best players in the world. You won four times on tour. Don't have the best playoff record. But you've been in the mix, obviously, a lot. how much of it is wanting to win because you want to fucking win, you want that history,

you want that title, you want, you know, if it's at Wyndham and Sedgefield, like you want those people to put you up in their hallway, in their clubhouse, because you won their tournament versus a calculation of money. I feel like you grew up playing the game because you loved the game of golf. You want to defeat other people. That has to factor in over just pure money, right? Because it seems soulless when they were playing golf over in London. Yeah, I didn't watch any in London.

But from that point of view, like, I play golf to beat people. I play golf because I'm better than you. And if I had anything else. Oh, wow. Hey. How about that? Like, I'm not better than what any of these people do for a living because if I went to go work for them, they would be better than me, right?

That's how the world works. But I also play golf because I'm really good, and I make a shit pile of money, and I can provide for my family. So it's an interesting dynamic. And that's why I'm not mad at anybody. Like, hey, man, if that's what you need to do for your family, go play. And I'm going to stick it out here. I'm 38 years old.

And if they're still out there paying $4 million for first place, when I only want to play eight times a year, maybe I'll go play. I'm going to steal a question that Frankie Borelli Borelli asked Scotty Sheffler right before the Masters, which is, do you ever just sit back and think how cool it is that you are a top 30, 35 player in the world going into something as cool as the United States Open Championship, and you genuinely possess what it takes to win the golf tournament? Don't ever see it that way. Always trying to get better is my deal. So I feel like if you sit around and look at it that way, you know, that's kind of

like an overview, right? And you've got to do that about once a quarter. But when you're in the middle of it, you've got to try to get better. And so what I try to do is grind every quarter, take an overview and then be like, yeah, that was pretty good, how we're going to get better. U.S. Open, what I've got to do to beat everybody's ass that week, and then July 15th, let's take an overview. How'd the second quarter go. If you sit around and thinking about how great you are, I think you're going to get run over. Going into this week, where do you feel like your competitive advantage is, like, where do you want to get in spots around the golf course that you feel like you have a competitive advantage against the field? I think guys that hit in the rough are going to

struggle more than most U.S. Open is because they've added this hay and like really offline's not going to be great even if you hit it far. And I think hitting the fairway is, you know, we say that every U.S. Open. Then you see wingfoot, those guys hit in the rough one every hole and made birdies. So this one I think is really going to be fairway driven. Is that also compounded by just the green size as well? I mean, so it's got to be fairways. Well, the greens are tiny, right and anything over the green is dead because every green is pitched back at you so if you're in the rough and you hit a flyer chase

or something that no spin that chases over the green you're going to be really difficult to get up and out I'm just looking at you just giggling thinking we were talking a little bit in the back room about where we've come in our relationship just where this thing that's a little scary

where this thing started fucking I mean it must have been six years ago five years ago yeah something like that we were at rough and rowdy I'm up on the ring filming for Dave and you know I got everything in my ear and all business Pete's yelling at me to get a certain shot and all of a sudden I hear is like can someone get this fucking Kevin Kisner golfer out of here and I'm like what the I don't even think I was on four play at the time no I don't think you were really looking around like what are they talking

about kids apparently got so fucking drunk at a rough and rowdy because his buddy was playing that he's he grabbed the mic from Dave and Big Cat he's trying to talk big cat he's trying to talk big cat takes the mic off of them and they push him out and they kick him out and Dave goes to me, he's like, you're a golf guy right? You're a fucking guy's a lunatic over here. And I remember thinking of myself like, who is this douchebag that

got into Ruff and Rowdy, got drunk and like made a mess? And now that I know you and who you are and how funny you are and how amazing that you are, I wish I could go back in time and realize how fucking funny that situation actually is. Like you, right now

just like rooting on your boy. at a rough and rowdy event, just getting a little bit too many pops in you, and just like, just completely dominating the entire area. What do you remember from that rough and rowdy, if you can remember anything, honestly? I just remember that I thought it was a security guard, kept telling me to sit down. I was like, how do you sit down in a boxing match, man? Like, dudes are out there getting decked, and I'm yelling, and you're telling me to sit out? And he's like, last time I'm going to tell you to sit down.

And I was like, I am, whatever. and I stood up one more on a punch and he came over there and all right that was it told you, sit down and I said, how about you go fuck yourself?

And he said, all right, you're out of here. That'll do. I remember I was like this and I looked up and I was like, damn,

you're bigger and I thought. And then I looked down and his jacket came back and he had a gun. I said, hold up, are you a cop? He's like, yeah,

West Virginia State Trooper. I'm like, all right man let's roll oh my god it was just like there was whispers throughout the entire building I thought he was like a rina cop man

I was like get the fuck out of yeah stand up come a long way come a long way come a long way I think it was like eight years ago too

sad yeah I think we're all getting old we're gonna die soon at some point it's not it was inevitable we were gonna go this way yeah here we go where's this mental

rigs take my question this fucking guy brought this up to me before I want to see what you say about this. Do you think the world, that earth has gotten, I know you got a fucking major to prepare for. Do you think earth has gotten heavier in any aspect from, you know, let's say a million years

ago, has gotten heavier? I know we talked about this. Now, what about people being born? Heavyer? What about people being born? They're just the same things that were already here. And you all, you realize, more people have been born now than before. Right, but what do you think they're born of? Like, you think something comes from... What do you mean? It's just

new mass. Is it not? No, that mass has been created from the things that are already here. Throwing them at rig. New mass sounds right to me. Someone said, do you think China is heavier now than it was a million years ago? Aren't we all made of Stardust? Kevin, what do you think about this? I don't know.

I think we replaced the dinosaurs. They're pretty fucking heavy. That's a great point. You think the dinosaurs' world was heavier than this world? You know how heavy those things were? They're like a billion of you. Larch? I mean, you ought to think yes.

You ought to think yes in the situation. This is our life just yelling at Frankie on Zoom about dinosaurs and how much humans away. That's an interesting point though. How'd that not come up when we're talking about that? People. People. Speaking of people, we've got a really important person right here on the other side of the stage that I think wants to come up here. We should get him and Kevin Kis are on the same stage.

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Podcast Jesus, they call him around this town. He's incredibly well known. he's doing his own shows at the Wilbur next month. Kurt. Come on. What's up, Kurt? What's up, brother? Nice to meet you.

Everybody good? Hi, Kirk. Wow, what's up, guys? How are you? This is amazing now. Oh, yeah. It's kind of amazing. Now you look at it, now that I'm here,

we have a combined zero major championships. Unbelievable. I figured it might go this way. Which is, no, I, I'm telling you right now he is one of my dark work picks to win this week. What? Yes. At the US Open? Have you seen his record? No, no, this is your week.

This is your week, right? Let's go. Yep. And he told me before the show, off the Saudi Arabia after this, which I'm excited about. Joining Liv, which is thrilled about that. That's great. Oof, boy, was Monahan rough the other day, right? Today or yesterday? No, yesterday. Yeah, yeah. That was not great, right? It kind of looked like he was being

held, like, at gunpoint or something. Yeah, he didn't look. I don't know what the, What are we doing? Like, look, the 9-11 thing, like, okay, I don't know about you guys. I'm anti-9-11, right? We're all against it. Same. But, I mean, why are we playing this card at that point yesterday? I don't, and Monaghan always looks like he's about to cry. He's from Belmont, which is, people here know Belmont, right? That's like Lexington or Winchester. I grew up, kind of a, kind of a pussy town. So I'm like, I'm like, you gotta be a little tougher here, Jay. You know, I don't know.

Who do you think did worse, Phil or Jay? Do you watch Phil today? I watched Phil today. Was it bad, Phil? Bad? It was just a lot of like, somebody would ask him a question. Kevin would say, basically, like, I understand your perspective. I know where you're coming, and he wouldn't answer it. But I don't know how he's, I just want these guys to say, what everybody wants them to say, like, I did it for the money. Are they not allowed to? Is that why they're not doing it? But also, like, I always wonder, like, there's no chance you're doing this, right? What did you say? There's no chance you're going to go to live? No. No.

Unless they give me $100 million. And then I would say, uh, I would say, uh, I would say, uh, I would say, uh, I'm, you're going to say, uh, uh, I did it for the money. And I think that's fair. But how does it, do you know better, you would know better than us? Like, so, and maybe you guys, I don't know. Like, so when, when Reed goes, right? And I read he got 80 million.

Do they give him a check for $80 million? Like, up front? Is that how it works? Unless the ringers, I think he got wired 200. Like, I think Phil and DJ got wired money the second of the side. Like, right away? That's what I heard. That, like, the full amount, that's crazy.

It's hard not to hit that button. If that thing's just staring at you, how do you not just take that $8 million? So then what happened? If they get in a car accident tomorrow and die, they just take it back? Well, it's pretty dark, Riggs. I don't know. It's no idea. How do you take money back? I don't know. That's why I'm saying. It seems like a

risky move. But let's play out. Let's take two years from now, the guys at Saudi Arabia are like, screw it. We don't like the same more. We're going to a new toy. Like, if they're owed money, like, was Patrick Rie going to sue Saudi Arabia? How do you get that? How do you recoup that? That's just not going to go well.

Yeah, that should be good. Yeah, I don't know. What do you think about the hypocrisy? been on like both sides of this where it's like PGA tour is taking money from China and they actually just did a Saudi Arabian tournament in fucking February. Yeah and they let them go play for a sanctioned event. Now all of a sudden because it's its own thing, it's like

well no no, no, you're not allowed to do that. You can't disrespect. Look, I believe, I don't know, kids were no better, but Kevin went no better than me, but I mean Monahan's issue is not moral. His issue is that these guys are playing over there. They're taking the players away. He doesn't give a shit about the side. That's something to just say. I don't think, but you can do this

all day, right? Like, I have no idea where the money comes. I mean, you know, I don't know. You know, Portnoy tomorrow would probably do with Saudi Arabia gambling. You'd go eat pizza in Saudi Arabia for they gave them $100 million. They'd be doing their, you know, having pizza with the king of Saudi Arabia, I would guess. I genuinely don't think most people in the world know where their money comes from where if you trace it back. Of course not. I mean, you think about oil and all these like crazy big money companies, you have no idea where it's coming from. Absolutely not. No way. It kind of drives me crazy in that aspect where it's like we're really getting bent up on this thing. We're not talking about what it really is where it's like competition.

Yeah, you seem really outraged about it. I can tell. This is just a sunburn. I'm not getting rid. The issue to me becomes there's clearly no viable business model. None. You cannot just put $2 billion into something, have no TV rights, have no real way to gain revenue whatsoever. So clearly they're doing it for a reason that we all know it's the sports washing. There's no legitimate reasoning behind it. So I think the reason that people are able to and are getting so upset is because it's so blatantly for horrific reasons. Let's get to the craziest thing in all in golf right now, which is, I get to ask you this, how does Matt Fitzpatrick chip cross-handed?

Incredibly. Yeah, I know, but how does it? I've been practicing trying to do it. I've played with him like three times in the last six, eight weeks. I'm like, was that fucking cross-handed again, do you? I don't get it. And he flips him up there like this all the time. You hold one out with the PGA down the stretch.

Are you like Shooter McGavin when he tries the happy Gilmore swing? I play with them on Sunday at Augusta. Flipping them in there. I don't care. Augusta? Yeah. That's fucking nuts. What?

Just playing Augusta. This past Sunday. No, no, no. That's what I thought. I was like, Jesus. This guy just fucking walks around. This is what we deal with in. Yeah, I understand.

Welcome to the world. Yeah, just dated a basis. A decent amount of people thought he was talking about last Sunday. You think so? Yeah. No, I was playing Pond Valley yesterday. Where's that? Do you have the same love affair with the ES Oberlin?

You do the Masters? No. Not the same. Because Augusta is Augusta every year. Some years, I think the U.S. Open played some shitbird places. But this is a good one. Like, I mean, I like the country club. I've played it.

Could I handle it this week? I'd probably be in the top ten. Probably. I mean, probably. I mean, nobody's asked me in the place. It's open. Nobody came and asked me. It seems kind of rude.

Kirk, what happened in the mini-putt, the mini-golf? Did you see that or no? I need to hear this. What happened? there's a perfectly good explanation for this, Frank. First of all, it's the hardest mini golf course of all. It is. It's the winged foot of mini golf, I would say. But like the way the holes are designed, did I six putt, did I five putt from three feet?

Who's to say? But, you know, once I missed the first one, I just never mentally recovered. I finished top 12. I mean, you know, in the-injury. I had a hand injury, which you can still see the remnants of right here. So, yeah, I mean, I'm back at it. I'm playing in the bar still mini-old. I don't know if you, are you guys playing in this or another bar still

mini golf time? I think we're actually traveling. I think we're going to be. conveniently booked while we're on the road. I think we're going to be in Scotland. We're in Scotland. Okay, so yeah, so we're going to be there. And I mean, let's be honest, the odds are, Frank,

the tank's going to die. So, probably be there for the funeral on the wake in the area as well. So we might play. What? Oh, oh, fuck you. Anybody want a head cover? Hey! Hey!

Oh! What? Adaboy, Fright. Yeah, I got a crowd back, you know? So how do you get a hand injury at minigoff? No, no, no, no, no. I did it before. It's making my son's lunch. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Slices my hand making lunch for my son for some. How do Harry Minahan do today? Harry Minnahan, if anybody hair cares, but we won our first round of the League playoffs night. Let's go. Is he good? It's fine. He's pretty good.

He's a gutsy player. He's a gutsy player. What kind of like baseball, dad, or you? I'm one of the assistant coaches. I'm pretty laid back. Wow. But I managed, help manage a masterpiece tonight. Like the kids had nothing to do with this.

This was the manager's time. This was our win. I mean, maybe the kids will step up on Thursday in the semifinals. We'll see. Are you like talking shit about the kids on the other team, getting in their kitchen? I mean, yeah, I mean, we keep score. Like, what fuck are we doing? We're scouting.

Huh? There's scouting going on. Yeah, scouting? Dipping. Do a couple of bumps during the game. Stay loose. A little booger sugar. We know what it's about.

Nepotism? You nepotizing? No, he almost go the opposite way, I think. But he's, but he's, you know, he's lucky. He's a good kid. I don't know what. Like, he did, what is in my head so far has alluded in his head so far, rig? So I think he's going to be all right.

I think he's going to be all right. We think he's a good boy. So Freddie couples. Yep. Yeah. You know, luck getting him on the show? No. So he's my, he's my all-time favorite athlete.

We can make it happen. You see that right there? We've heard that before. Colonate here? Colonnade. Did you hear that Colanade? Like Dobie producer who can't book Steve Gutenberg, for Christ sakes. Literally can't book Steve Guttenberg and the dad from Beverly Hills 90210. So yeah, if you can get, I mean, that would be great. Freddy's the great. Is he a good guy?

The best. This is worth a trip in here. Thank you. I'll tell you a funny Freddie story. I've never met him until the President's Cup and whenever I played 17. Liberty National, drivable whole, like, well, they screwed it up for the President's Cup. but it's normally like 15 or 16. Yep. So he walks up on the team, he's like,

sorry, boy, something really got screwed up, and I'm going to hang out with y'all today. We're playing practice round. Never meant I'm standing over the T-ball, and I strike it right at him, and I go, ain't no hobby, boom, boom. He looked at me and said, who the fuck's this Kisner kid?

I like that. Oh, my God. What's the reasoning you're so obsessive, Freddie? I mean, our swings are identical, essentially. I think pretty much. Touch around the green. I just always, I started like him.

I was like a teenager. And then, you know, the great thing about golf is, like, I'm 47 now. And, like, you know, I'm literally watching online a Sunday the play-by-play on the Champions Tour website. Like, I'm literally watching, who's, phrase, 18 shots behind. I'm watching him. Like, it's like the seventh game. I care way more. I get about the stupid basketball game tonight.

What if he was just a dick to you? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, is I hurt your feelings? Watch the game.

What do you care if I don't like it? Oh, guys are the drive in, kick out, shoot a three. Drive in, kick out, shoot the three. The 86 Celtics would beat the combined, put the best lap of the two teams put together. The 86 Celtics would beat this three games. Game four, they'd be like, we're not even showing up. That would happen, guarantee. I'm talking today.

I'm talking today. Today. I'm always amazed at how much you know about sports for someone that seems to hate them. It's a, you know, it's a, you know, it's a, well, well, golf. I still pay attention to, and I grew up loving the Celtics a lot. They were my favorite team. And baseball I was into, but as I get older, I care about it less and less. The only thing I care about this golf now.

That's it. That's literally all golf, men's, women's. I watched that stupid mix thing in Europe, which was pretty good this week. What was that? Why did they say it was the first one? It was a mixed team event or something? Yeah. So she, you know, the women Tita obviously, so she finished.

She won by, I don't know, six or seven shots. Yeah, she won by maybe nine? She won by, so it wasn't a team event. She won by, yeah. Stenson. and Sorenstam run it together, I think. Stenson going to jump? He just jump? But if he jumps, he loses

the captaincy. Does that matter? I think so. Yeah, I think. So I would say no. I don't think Zach Johnson's going to jump, probably, right? Probably not. Would they offer him? They probably offer them like, I mean, about the same as Phil, probably.

Yeah, I would think, yeah. No, I don't think he's going to jump. I'd be stunned. That would be a stunner. But I don't know. I mean, a lot of people are jumping. know. Based on what we were saying pre-show, that would, that would rock your core. If he jumped? Yeah. Yeah, that'd be tough.

Who's the biggest jerk in the history of the tour you ever play with? Sabatini. Yeah, everyone did. That makes sense. It didn't take long. He's not really a jerk. He's just the weirdest fucker in the world. Really?

Like, you can't even communicate with him. So. So you mean, like, if you talk to him, you just won't speak back? you? No, no, he like never shuts the fuck up and you have no idea what he's talking about and you're just like, dude, what?

It's a bugger come out and I know that that's a lot. So if you see like, you know, you see your pair with him on Saturday, you're just like, talk to him. Just thinking about withdrawing. There was that clip that came out a couple years ago, a couple guys hit into Sabatini and they were like, this is bad news because they're like, we got to go. Wasn't that

Speep? It was Spieth. It was Spief. It was like, tell me it wasn't horrid. Right, everyone was fucking worried. They were in. Yeah. Anybody but Rory. Sounds like he's a huge asshole. He can be that way. Okay.

He's one of those dudes that knows who he can prey on, right? So he never fucks with me because I'll just tell him to go, die. He prays on who he can pray on. Sounds like you don't like the Italians. Me? He's Italian, right? Slovakian now. He's Slovakia now.

Oh, yeah. What the fuck to do it? I was like, what is the other thing? What do you have to do? changed nationalities he could play in the fuck was that I think he was initially

South African right? He's South African but then he married to Slovakian Right he played the Olympics He finished like

did he finished He was a Italian I'm a medal The Rover 17 was Italian Because you ever play mini golf Yeah hell yeah

That's what we did All our mini tour days We play in like shitty towns All over the southeast And we stay in these shitty hotels And play some

Muni And then you teed off At like 730 8 o'clock And you had All afternoon so we'd go gamble on minigoth and like gold. Were you guys unbelievable at it

or was it frustrated? No, we suck too. We don't know what's going on. And the putter suck and the ball suck and the yeah, they all suck. It's not like Kirk. You take your own putter there and your own ball or do you use it? So I've never used my own putter or my own ball. No, you had to. It was requirement.

And it's bizarre. It's weird. If you feel like an asshole. You can't just use the fucking rubber one? They said no. They said no. They'd run a very tight ship. I wasn't going to break rules. Is it a... Putterhead length from the brick? From the wall? Oh, no.

Score card. Okay. Score card. Yeah. Yeah. I play beautifully. I just, you know, sometimes it just doesn't work out.

We had Taylor Montgomery on last week. He said he won $75,000 in a putting tournament. I don't know who Taylor Montgomery is. Just got a... Corn Ferry tour guy. Oh. $75,000 in a fucking putting tournament. What are you doing?

You need to get out there. Do you put a putty? I've got... Plenty. Do you think there's any chance with the logos that these guys, the live guys, decided to rally at some of these majors and rock all live logos? Phil came out with an Augusta logo. Are we going to see weird shit like that?

What is the live logo? I don't know. Just the live golf? Don't blink. Did Phil wear the gusto logo during the tournament? Yeah, he wore it the first day. He actually changed into it. He'd see it off in it and then he changed it.

Yeah. Why would he do that? Because he's psycho. No, I have no idea. What is a live golf? I mean, they've already paid him $200 million. What was he going to get? Another million for the logo?

Does he really need it? You might have a little leverage in there you go. No idea. At least we're getting all this tax income from them, so maybe we can get some lower gas or something around. How you talk? This way I look at it. Smarter than you look there, kids.

Give us your 70 million, Phil. Thanks for coming. Maybe we can get $4 gas. All right, simply safe. So, I mean, you know, all right, you say what? You don't go to simplesafe.com slash Kirk here. Oh, I had a copy.

What company was it, Coney? You've been doing four. I think it was Simply Safe, right? Tommy John, on the copy, it said Tommyjohn. It's at Tommyjohn.com. Which is fine. I said, give it to these guys. It's fine with me.

We're getting the love. You don't care. Oh, but the dopey salespeople, you can't figure that out? The point is, you watch. What about you? Colane? He was he supposed to figure that?

He was a moron. I'm looking at this guy right here with the white hair, right here who looks like, I don't know, he looks like, it looks like Carl Bernstein who just kind of gave up at some point. And like, that's a guy. If I saw him walking around like near my neighborhood, I'd be like, thank God I have Simple Safe because this guy would come in and probably destroy my family. But because I have Simpliceaf now, my home is completely and totally secure. There's nobody here and there's a lot of dummies here. No one's dumber than me at setting something up like this. It took me two minutes to set up SimpliSafe. It genuinely is simple and it keeps you safe, which is the best name of all time.

I set up a Simply Save outdoor camera. It's not hardwired. The battery lasts for legitimately six months when you fully power it. And it just sits right there by your door and you can access it every time. When someone pulls into my driveway, I get a notification and I watch them walk all the way up to the front door. Correct. It's the best thing of all time. I'm telling you right now, Simply Safe legitimately is better than any of the competitors.

And I have like a, I tried a bunch of them on my new house. Simply Safe is the only one I went with. Yeah, I was skeptical as I wasn't at first. But when I got it and set up, it's perfect. You think about nothing else. That's one thing you know, you always worry about security for your family. If you're by yourself, here with Simplaseaf, you do it. And then you're all set.

Here's what you do, okay? You go to simplysafe.com slash foreplay. Go today and claim a free indoor security camera plus 20% off. That's 2.0. With interactive monitoring, go to Simplaciflesaf.com. Slashore.com slash forplay. Get moving right now, dummies. Simplysaf.com slash forplay and do it today.

That's a pro. That's a real pro. He's done that out. So look, we told everybody that we tried to get people out here by the time of the Celtics game. We also want to do a Q&A. I know you said you had to leave after like 10 minutes and once again we're doing a podcast or a show. And I'm here for three hours. And then your wife gets mad at me and you get you're doing me, which is the whole one.

It's the same old curious. We'll be fine. We should do some Q&As. Anybody have any questions out there? Okay, we got this guy up front. Can we get him a microphone? Are we doing? Yeah.

We can't hear you. I was just kidding. Oh, right there. There you go. Oh, does that mean I get to leave? No, you don't get to leave. We kind of trapped you the entire time. I'll say, I feel like we could have.

Who is it? He had a drone. I heard right when he was just yelling. Someone's alarm just went off to tell him that the Celtics game was started in 20 minutes. Did you hear that? Yeah. Let's hear it.

Oh, yeah. What would your price be to only cover live golf? Like, if the Saudis were giving you money? What? For us? Yeah, you guys. Oh, man. What?

As a team? Sure. What do you guys think? I personally am going to say that they're probably, like, I don't know the number, but I would, like, there's a price for sure. There's definitely a price. So, like, I'll be completely honest. There's definitely a price out. There's a number.

Yeah. Is it $10 million? All right. 20 million right now. Split, oh, you're splitting it. $5 apiece? Five? $20 million.

I wouldn't do it. 30 million. That's seven and a half, seven and a half million each. 30 million. 10 million dollars a guy and I'll do it. How about? I don't think I would do it.

I'm in for 10. But do they need all of us? Like, yeah, yeah. You look around around. Are you in for 10? Somebody gives you $10 million?

For three years? We're crazy. Yeah. 10. I'm not trying to be like I wouldn't do it. Because I think when you show up somewhere for the rest of your life, you have to like live with that. I think that fucking sucks.

No pun intended. I think it's bullshit that. So let's say that whatever. Kurt, what's your number? My morals are too high. I wouldn't do it. No money. No money. We go around the room.

It's like how much do people make right now? You know what I mean? There's no amount of money. I wouldn't do it. No. It's blood money. Cares too much about 9-11 families. It's an easier side of the coin to be on because nobody's given us 10 million.

I should have just. Right. You're just saying it to just be like, yeah. Nobody's giving me that issue. I do it on that side. I do it for 50. grand problem. We have another one out there,

right here. Let's get that mic. Come on now. Thank you. We already talked about the Earth way in a little bit more. I was just hoping to get a little Owens transfusion mix because they ran out at the bar.

Is that all right? That's fair question. Yeah, give a little Owens. Just add Owens. Just out Owens. Good stuff. It's simple. I just aim the mic at the the cat. Yeah, I got.

That's really nice. Email it. That's all it takes. No problem. Appreciate you, Frank. Thank you, Owens Mixers. The greatest mixer game. Greatest mixer in the game.

Yeah. That guy, yeah. There you go. Yeah. Hey, kids, I'm from Detroit. I videotaped you hitting the woman that the Foreplay podcast posted

on their Instagram page. What did you write on that glove after you hit the woman in Detroit, the Rocketmore? I don't you're hitting women at the right are you hitting women you're hitting women you're a liability I don't even hit in a woman I have the video oh shit we get that mic guys write something on the glove I don't know if you know this but I hit lots of kids on average every year how many people do you hit

three okay that's it there I got one today pretty impressive considering I'll tell you what I won Colonial one You're going to get that on the sports. A woman on the neck on the tee shot. Running in front of the ball. It's actually pretty impressive that you only hit that many people because you're playing pretty in front of pretty big galsars. Also, if people stand in the worst spots.

They do. Like, hey, let's go stand at $2.95 off the T. Right. In the right. 12 yards off the right side of the fairway. Sounds like a genius side. We've got to get that bet on the sports book. How many people can't get some of the course?

Yeah. People be jumping in front of balls. You imagine? Oh, yeah. That would go up to 30. The number's three and a half. You just see a guy barrel under the ropes and runs out there. We got another one out there?

That's the new Draft Kings number. How many people can kiss it in one year? Where that mic go? It feels like a daytime TV show. Look at Live on Ed's Liza's out there running mics around. Nothing she can't think. All right, Kisner. Who's your pick to win the U.S. Open?

Kevin Kisner. Kirk, are you serious about your call or were you just? Oh, I know. I think he's going to play well this week. Yeah, I, you know, I kind of like Shane Lowry this week. he's been playing really well. You can laugh. I like Shane Lowry this week.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. And I like, do like Fitzpatrick. You all, I feel like you go Fitzpatrick, I do. Yeah, I mean, I,

Blasper, Fitzpatrick. Hmm? Yeah, I think he's going well this week. He won the amateur. Yeah. You heard about this? Fitsy going with the braces,

by the way. It's not easy moves. He's got braces. He's got the, what's it called the Iniseline? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Self-improven.

I'm unrowed up. Yeah, he's from, like, England, right? Not many people from the UK work on their teeth. Exactly. Yeah, that's what I was saying. I'm proud of it. It's nice. I saw it today.

I was like, oh, that's a good guy. Improving. Yeah. You seen what he does with the writing down every single shot he ever hits? I've never heard of that until you told me about it. It's fucking crazy. How does he have time? Matthew Fitzpatrick sharts every shot he ever hits,

and he does it because he doesn't like, he doesn't believe shot link is correct because it just measures proximity from the hole. But his point is, if I'm trying to hit a ball that lands six yards left and three yards short of the actual whole location, I want a chart where it actually lands versus where I was trying to hit it, so I have more accurate data. Anyways, next question.

He needs some kids. I could tell that one. Because speaking of your kids, we were talking about Kirk's son playing in baseball. Have you, like, mapped out what kind of father you're going to be to your son's are going to start playing golf and stuff? Well, I've learned as I'm not a coach until they're competitive. Okay.

Yeah. So I, like, was my kids. assistant soccer coach and I was like bro you're down 5'4 attack and they're like it'll keep score I was like all right I'm leaving call me when it's competitive what about Tilleries kids those kids are studs

what did you say? Tilleries kids yeah they're studs yeah yeah those kids can cut he's all right he's all right I checked on him he's all right he did he's a good player how bad did you want that slim gym I want it really bad

birdie for the first for the birdie first birdie slim gym and he did on the first hole. He hit a three wood to two feet. That kid wanted the slim gym more than me. Which is stunning. Stunning. It is. But he really, Ethan wanted that slim gym back.

Trent Daddy, you actually look pretty thin. I've just been wearing the right clothes. I think he was great. He's just trying to sweat it out. I think he looks unbelievable. You think Trent Daddy looks unbelievable right now? No, that's very nice. No, that's very nice. Thank you.

I weigh 255. That's pretty much what I always weigh. It's not 256, yeah. It's nice. It's a good 255. As long as he doesn't say 260, who cares? What are you weighing these days? I haven't checked in.

Okay. What all? What did you eat on Saturday? I got to call down to the desk to ask for two fucking weigh-ins or what? Dude, Saturday, I don't even know where I was. Italy, Colorado, and here. So it's like, I don't know. I don't even know what was Saturday.

I'm just curious. Sometimes you have some serious Saturday. I know. I don't even. Couldn't tell me. A couple over here. I got a question. over here. Oh, yeah. Sure. Right over here. Two questions. First one. Phil doesn't like two

questions. He just do one question. Did you see him today? Because I hate when you ask two questions. Just ask one question, please? Just unbelievable. That's a guy that's comfortable. Can I get two? Just one question? No. Just one question. I'm not sure you're going to like the question I'm going to pick. Just ask one question, please. I hope he blends them together. Trent, we all know what Frankie does when you guys stay together in hotel rooms or maybe when you don't, you have separate rooms. what's the likelihood you guys have been in the same room when Frankie's taking care of himself. He deserves a second question.

Thank you. Thank you, Boston. I've heard some weird noises from coming home more than. You know, it's life, man. Well, you've got to do something because when we have recently bunked up, you don't get much sleep because I snore. Now, Trent's been doing this thing where he snores like a fucking bear.

and then he stops for 10 minutes. So then when you're in bed next to him, you're just like, all right, it's 10 minutes to sleep now. And that's not a good way to sleep. Hard to do. Like, no one, you've got a 10-minute window to go to sleep. And then, like, you're at minute nine, you're like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

And he's like, oh, he's like, fuck. Another 25 minutes of this shit, and then I got another 10. But during that, 25 minutes, I usually jerk off. Yeah. I like the sound of his fucking snoring. All right? I'm busting low.

Who gives a fog? Sorry, I know Tom Pash is out here, and I actually, that made me awkward, made me feel awkward, that's such a distinguished, like, we got, like, we got Pinehurst here, and I'm like, I don't know why I'm talking like that. That's okay.

Thank you guys. Listen to the show. Oh, for me or for Trent? Yeah, what do you mean? Oh, shit. Post. I'm not getting that crazy. I got to stop talking about jerking off.

It's fine. It's fine. Sorry, kids. Back there. All right. So if you guys had 10 minutes with Phil, what question would you guys each ask him? Ann Briggs.

Hopefully Harvard gave you a nice welcome back into the city. Appreciate it. I did go to Harvard. Just dead silence after the Harvard. People are like, who fucking cares? I didn't say it. I'm just saying. Kids, did you know he went to Harvard?

First time. Just learned it. Kirk, did you know? It's a bad thing. I did. Yeah, I knew. Dude, when we live together, there'd be nothing on the walls except this Harvard diploma. Like white walls everywhere?

Isn't that the whole point? And then just the diploma. That is the point, I guess. You know? Hang it out. You're going to go through the whole thing. That's all you're doing it for. Right. Put that up there.

Hey, Riggs, I got a question about that. Was school, like, too hard for you at Harvard? Yeah. I was a sociology major. How's that working out? Here I am with the, you know, we all ended up in the same place. You're on a fucking stage with me. Crazy.

Phil. What question we asked Phil Mickelson? Wow. Have you seen the son in four weeks? That's a good one. That's a good one. I would ask, is your wife proud of you? Oh, these are going below the bill. Who want the head cover?

Hey. Woo! I thought you just stuck in a putter and snapped. Wait, hold on. How long have you been thinking about that? Your wife proud of you? You had that ready. That's a little too personal.

Yeah, you're looking around the room, going, I think something along those lines. Okay, are you, when you explain where you're at in your life right now to your kids, would you be proud of the way you explain it? Something along you would be proud of you. Yeah, kind of threw the white thing out there. Maybe that was a little too personal. I think that's a personal question. I mean, personally, I mean, guys make, you know, family mistakes and all that stuff.

If I'm going to keep it strictly to golf, I think I'd keep it similar to what the guys are saying today where it's like, do you genuinely think you're growing the game of golf or are you just doing this for your own personal game? and I think he kind of danced around that question a million times today where he's like, you know, we're actually growing the game of golf for different places in the world. It's like, oh, come on, dude. The honest thing, like, DJ was like, yeah, I want to play golf less. That's why I did it.

It's like, you need more of that, just straight honesty. I'm going to go as your wife proud of you. Yeah, that's heavy. Tea? I'd want to know exactly how much he got and how it felt when he saw it in his bank account. Yep. Wad Wednesday, you know. It's a big one.

Is that true Wednesday? Because we had... Billy Hook. Billy Horshalant. He said he got paid on on Tuesday. Is he wrong or you're wrong? He must have a better bank. Let's do one more and then we can let kids go.

I got a question. Last week they debated on what a handicap was a good golfer. I want to ask Kev what he thinks a handicap is for a good golfer. Good golfer, seven. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking. Fuck you.

What's cool. Hey. Wait a minute. It's gone right. Sucks to be you. About that. What? I think that was right around what you were saying.

Eight. Are you? Yeah. Girl, eight, Kurt. Yeah. So, kids, we put it into a bunch of categories. So, well, shut up, Frankie.

So, when. Freddie only comes on if you get down to the seven. But do you think an eight handicapped? Stinks? No, no, no. What's it? Average? Yeah, yeah.

So you just kind of look at me like, no. Yeah, I get that. I understand. But like an eight can make a birdie. Yeah, occasionally I'll make one. Yeah, yeah. Seven can make two birds. What is your handicap?

My boys make me play as plus five, which is a robbery. So 13 shots? Yeah. That's robbery in your favor. No? No, no, plus five? No, no, I'll lose straight up. Like, if I gave you 13 shots and played you in the stroke play, I'd kill you.

Right. But the match play is kind of close. But if you all get plus five and we play like teams. You're fucked, right? Kirk and now play you four, y'all are going to kill us. One of y'all is going to make a par. I think you kill me.

I got four and a half. You kill me. You kill me. You're giving me nine. Right. I'm smoked. So I don't even... We played.

We played. So everybody adds five and then so they're stroking almost every hole. And then you get three other dudes stroking two. Somebody's going to limp in a par if I don't burkey every hole.

We put it into categories where it was suck. Average, good, great, the best. Now, where do you put suck? Because I got a lot of flack for saying where I said. Well, I mostly see, like, I don't really care as much about the score, like, your ability. Like, if you can't get it in play, you suck.

Because it's not that hard to get in play. I'm probably the guy this weekend that couldn't get it in play. I'm like, bro, just fucking quit. Like, it's miserable. Right. But he can, like, chip and putt, but he could never get there. There's a lot of different ways you can suck, right? Totally.

A lot of ways you can suck 100%. No, yeah, we had like 17 and above as just sucking. And then we had good, or we had average, from like 8 to 16, where I think there's a huge gap between just being an average golfer. Like, I'm at 9.8. 14, 14 sucks.

14 sucks. We probably shoot like 95. Who do you think sitting here? Yeah. What's wrong with a 95? But you don't get to play. I suck at your job. Whatever it is.

You play once a month. I play every fucking day. See, when I did that, when I did that scale, I was thinking of a guy that kiss because if he's the best, you have to have some sort of relative, like if he's plus five, like a 15 has to be the worst

if he's the best at plus five. You know what I mean? Like you have to give him respect of being the best at what he's at. And then a 15 or 17 has to be so far away from that. Oh, yeah. If you were going to suck, would you rather hit it well?

or pot well. Yeah. What's the best part of your game? That's Kurt. Yeah. What's that? What's the best part of your game? Short game. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't hit it great. You know. But I mean, you don't lose your ball. You don't lose your ball. No, but like a four and seven yard par four. I mean, I have no chance. None.

If I make a... No, 47. No. You got, I'm, you know, and I watch these guys... You know, by these guys, these guys said driver and wedge. I'm like, what the fuck? How is this? How is this humanly possible?

Yeah. It feels not that long ago. I mean, I've watched, you watch some footage from, like, late 90s U.S. Open, and there'd be, like, a 480 par 4, like, this is the longest part 4. Yeah, it's a driver. Like, you said one irons back then. It's crazy. Yeah.

Because if I'm going out there trying to shoot the best score I could possibly shoot, should I be playing the back T's, or should I play whatever T I think is best suited for me to score the best score? Move up. And you think that's still a valid score, though? So, like, the other day we were playing, like, Colonial and Long Island and we were like, all right, let's just have a date. Like, it's trying to score really well.

And we played the back T's thinking, like, that would be the most legit way of playing. Instead of playing the whites or whatever, which is 63, we just thought that that would invalidate having the best day you could possibly have. What are your thoughts on that? You thought trying to have the best day possible would be played the hardest?

Can we get McKay back up here, please? Let's all move back and hit five hours. We'll probably play better. I guess it's more of a validation. I think a lot of amateur golfers, like, if you want to go see what the whole golf course, like I made all, I played Pine Valley this weekend, and I took three of my ball.

voice. We all played the backtees on Saturday. And they were like, all right, that was fun, but it sucked. I'm not doing that shit again. But I enjoyed it. Then they tried to play on Sunday. So going into that, what would be a legitimate yardage? Going into what? Just like, like, an

amateur says, like, oh, I shot, you know, 83, but it was from, you know, 6,000 yards. You're like, yeah, you suck. But if it's 6,500, you trust, you know what I mean? Like, what yardage do you feel like? I don't really pay attention to how long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. talking somebody different.

I have no idea what Brookline is. I saw one team was 515 and said part four, that kind of sucks. It was downhill. So, Kis, he has a... Terrible puny. You have a one over 71. Yep. And an even 73.

Yeah, even par of 73. Which was the better round? No idea. I have to see the courses. But normally the lower you shoot the better, because you got to get in the hole. It's just a math problem. So we said...

71 for sure, yeah. I said even bar. That's what I said. Yeah, I know. Which other is 71 or 73. Played a golf course and less strokes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but he's shorter.

So he says if he's at a bar, he would say he shot even... Par 70 versus par 73. Before saying I shot 71. Our argument is like you never tell someone relative to par what you shot. You say, hell, what did you shoot today? You're just telling random people this at the bar? You just want to get me to tell it? No, that's the fucking evil one.

Hey, guys, I shot even make fun. I don't know for the Harvard thing. I mean, this guy should have a drink. Some nachos. You're tackling them. Yeah, it's a bad hill to die on, so let's get off the top. All right.

We'll take more questions. Kevin Kisner has to get ready for a major championship. You are the man. We give you a lot of shit, but he sat here for a full hour. Good luck this week, Kiz. Thanks, brother. Thank you for having me. Seriously.

Thanks for having us. Ain't no hobby merch is on the website. All benefits to Kevin Kisner Foundation. Go get him, kids. Giving a high five. What a guy. Oh, boy, kids. He looks good in a pair of shorts.

He looks good in a pair of shorts. He does, yeah. Imagine if he wins this week. Be crazy. Pull the roof off this place. No chance. Anyone using an alignment stick out there? But how many people have them in their bag?

I got the line stick cover here. I can throw out to someone. I see. There you go. Get that. Yeah, he got it. Nice. I think more people have alignment sticks in their bag and don't use them.

I got them in my bag. I think I know what I'm doing type of move. Yeah, somebody can't send them to me. I threw them out already, boys. I can't throw them. I don't know what we're doing with these things. Yeah, what are we doing with those things? Throw a spider out there.

You're just going to get caught in the moment, start throwing out $500 putters. It's chaos. It's fucking, yeah, yeah. We go, looking around. Where's Lisa at? Do you do that? Do not throw the putters. Okay, okay, okay.

Sorry, guys. Questions? Very more questions. Do you want an easier way to golf? Book your next tea time and one of thousands of courses available by downloading our brand new barstool golf time app. Now we're talking.

Now we're talking. Easy way to golf. Is there something to that? I said our brand new barstool golf time app. Woo! I said our new barstool golf time app. Our new bar. Oh, my man!

Here's what you do. It's now available in the app store. Someone's driving off the road right now. So I break a $700 putter. Our rewards program is available right now. Book rounds and submit course reviews to build rewards and get exclusive barstool merch discounts. Fucking bang.

Must be nice. And let me tell you, it's really good to have reviews when you're going to play public golf. I was playing out in Suffolk County on Long Island. and you don't know how these golf courses are being maintained. You don't know if they're still at the level that you played them 10 years ago. So you look at the reviews. You see the pictures. You can upload pictures of people that played last week.

And you're like, oh, the greens have been punched, their top dress, all they just aerated. It's the best. Pure peer reviews every single day. They're always uploaded. It's the best app ever. All you do is you go to the app store right, and it's there. That's right. It's right around the app.

Download the app store. Use it, leave reviews. Kirk, what a pro. That's amazing. You think I was a professional read? Oh, yeah. I don't feel like one. It was really good.

It was really good. It's so late. Like, this is for me, like, four in the morning for you. I'm, I've never been, I don't think I've been up this late in, like, 10 years. How did that scream feel? Huh? How'd that scream feel? That's what I do in the car.

I did scream therapy. I did it in the car. I did scream therapy for a while, and it, it works, but you're just, but you're so exhausted. John Lemon did it for, like, five years, like, before he died. But, like, it was, like, I could see how it would work, but it does tire you. Like, now I'll fall asleep driving back. The last thing I'll ever done is a read for the bar. Which is a good way to go out.

It's a good way to go out. Kirkman. Good way to go out. Hello. Hello. Hi. Hey, Teddy Fenton with luckiest golfer on earth. This is a question for all of you guys.

If heaven exists and you get to the big golf course in the sky, who do you want God to have a range? for the three players on the first tee. Wow. Okay. Let's go in order here. Well, right away, you got to... Oh, I don't know.

It's a stupid fucking question. Cut the fuck up. Leave, go away. Get the fuck out of here. Definitely not you. I'll say that. If I go up to heaven, I see your stupid fucking face. I'm out. No?

Kirk, he made... Heaven exists. That's a... Heaven does not exist, Trent. There is no God. There's nobody floating in the sky. What are we doing here? What the fuck's going on? Like, really?

Freddie couple. Sure. Fred Couples, Bruce Springsteen and Caitlin Jenner. Okay? What happened? That's fucking right. Bob Barker.

Is he still alive? Bob Barker? He's still alive, right? I think so. Is Bob Barker still alive? I'm, right now, I'm pretty sure Bob Barker's still alive. I'm going.

Yeah, he's a lot. He's a lot. He's a lot. He's a lot. He's a lot. He's a lot. I would remember Bob Barker die. I'm going dead.

I'm going dead. I'm going to look. I'm going Bob Barker dead for a lot. He's alive. How old is this fucking guy? 98. 98, I'll say. 98. 98?

98. What a great good for him. 98? He might as well be dead. It's not on my floors. It's fucking 98. Good for me. Yeah.

You know how slow he probably is? He's not die fucking. The dream when you die and you go to heaven, if you go to heaven is you are playing by yourself all the time. There's no one in front of you. You're playing like an hour and 50 minutes all the time. So you play solo? Huh?

You play by yourself in Evan? Yeah. Because you don't have to wait. You'll have to wait for anybody. You're out there whenever you want. I think that's a wonderful answer. You have to wait. You have to sit there and watch some asshole,

take 26 practice swings. I love it. You think there'll be unlimited holes. You could just go wherever you want that. You spend your earthly days. Being social with people. You're just eating starbursts playing your own golf home. Sour Patch kids all that.

I'm picking Trent is he's definitely going to be dead before me. All right, sweaters. Somebody want a sweater? All right, then we got this Barstool Golf on the moon, man. On the moon. I'm going to toss this behind my head, so I don't know where it's going.

Whoa. You gotta get more laxies? Whoa. What the fuck? Someone just fucking... Oh, Jesus, crazy. For the record, I'd pick Derek Jeter. We already established that stupid.

Derek Jeter, Tiger Woods, and Frank Sinatra. That's... That's... I just... want to play with Bob Barker. That would be the only guy that I would play with. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, yeah, if you're something that'd be really like just like colliglia or something,

like somebody who's fucking wild. Get out there, you know. That's what I mean. You're trying to have like a wild. Otherwise it's just kind of, I don't know, I feel like if I'm playing with, like I would say like Tiger Woods, but if we're really playing with Tiger, I'd love it to be that. You're using it as an opportunity to be marketing people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He doesn't have to be golf oriented necessarily. No. Correct. That's kind of what I'm going with. I think you've got to get one golfer in there. Like, I think I'd take Arnie back in his heyday. He seemed like a wild man. Yeah, right, when he was slinging it?

Yeah. I agree with that. We'll do a couple more. You go on the other side here, right? Yeah. Sorry, Kirk was a dickhead of you earlier. Well, this is for Kirk anyways. Perfect.

165 out. You got a little left to right wind, 5, 10 miles an hour. What are we using? You got a mixing bowl green, back left pin location. What are we looking at, Kirk? How far is it? 165. And the wind is 5 miles an hour in?

Left to 10. Left right, downhill? 5 to 10 left or right. Is it uphill? Is it downhill? What's going on? Jesus Christ. It needs all the information.

Get the ball. I thought we were in heaven. You're in a pace of life problem. That's why you got to play by yourself all by hole. Take a half hour to hit it. Can we play through? Probably, uh, you Make your fucking muddle.

Maybe eight probably. What? Baby eight. Baby eight. You don't have that fucking power. Didn't say I didn't say I hit the green with it I liked to be one of those guys like yeah Sawed off nine I missed it

40 yards short oh Just missed it I just missed it I just missed it That's all that never claim you hit one flush Never no no no I don't know yeah Unless you hit like a gap wedge Unless you launch over the green you never said you cut a flush Yeah 165 no nine okay Really Jesus Christ

He's crazy he pounds the golf ball It's a low bullet it's not a pretty ball fight I've seen it yeah it's all right He's got another one. I've seen it. One more. Nick McCarrio. All right, is this the last question?

Yeah, can we get a round of applause for the social guy for... That's Zach's brother. Hey! That's Zach's brother. Zach's brother's a stick. And Lurch, I'm a St. A's guy, so go Hawks. Go Hawks. Go Hawks up.

I'm going to give you this question. I was going to give it to all for you, but I'll make it easy. You have one person. You've got to choose Trent, Frankie, or Riggs. You have to play them. and if you lose, you have to give up the game. Who do you think you could beat easiest? Straight up?

No, which shots? With shots. Who could I beat the easiest? Yeah, who would you choose to play? Yeah. For sure. Frankie takes himself out of half the holes if he plays single. Right.

I mean, yeah, Frankie. Riggs and I have played death matches time and time again, and T, I'm, like, fearful of his strokes. So it's a Frankie. I carry you in half the travel scene. This is going to get ugly. By the way, fuck the New York Rangers. Am I right?

I think we can all agree. That that team's a fucking Fugazi piece of shit organization. They've been around for a century. They won four cups. Three of them were before polio was cured. I'm a Boston Bruins fan too, though. Fucking piece of shit organization. Tough loss.

Missed a lot of those games, too. Islanders have been around since 19702. We got the same amount of wins as these pieces of shit. Lisa gave me the mic, so I guess one more. Okay, do it. Boston Crowd, so what do you think the U.S. Open winning score would be at Newtoncom? Oh, wow. Well, can you, what's that?

Is that the 10th or the 9th? No, it's, hold on, it's 13. 13. You're asking, can you drive the green because there's a sign that you're allowed to go for the green? Because we get to there, instead of walking up the 20 yards, you just throw it down the hill and play it from there. So there's a, yeah, right. There's a course, Newt Con, have you ever played a number? I have played it, yeah.

I think it's an original Donald Ross track, actually. I think that's right, right? BC sold off a bunch of the land to build dorms or whatever. And so the course went from a legitimate golf course to, yeah, like 5,000 yards from the tips. And there is a hole, I think it's 13, that is about a 210-yard par four, all downhill over water. And it says if you go for the green, you'll be ejected from the problem. The clubhouse is right behind it. Oh, the clubhouse is right next.

So you just, I mean, you'd be killing a car after car. Dude, instead, what they didn't calculate for. instead you hit this little like limp dick shot down the fairway that runs down the hill and then you have a like a 15 at augusta shot like on a hill like this with a wedge and people just blade them into cars so yeah god at newton commonwealth i think somebody would be oh god shoot the winning i mean the person would shoot 15 under a day maybe right yeah you're definitely every par five's like four ten yeah yeah for sure you're probably looking at 40 something 45 under would be, I think the biggest line would be 40.

That live $54 million bonus isn't played. Somebody shoots 54, they get 54 minutes. You see that? At the trophy ceremony? I could see that, yeah. The guy brought it up. You shoot 54, they give you a $54 million bonus. Dude, I showed up there one time.

At the live golf tournament? No, no, no, no. At Newtoncom. And one green was just covered in sand like we're at the beach. I mean, like, I could not believe how much sand was on the green. It was just. Hard green is there, actually. Grimes.

One is one, is one completely astroturf or is that a T-box? No, you're thinking of the par three, it's like a third or fourth. 10th one's like that, too. Full Astro-Turf tea. Like the whole course is grass and then there's just a full Astro-Turped tea. The thing that's redeeming about that place. You're not allowed to, yeah, you can't use a driver because you can't put a tea in the ground. That's true.

There are like two or three redeeming holes, though, about that place. Dude, the second hole is one of the best par-fives in the state. With a pre-going-going. You have to hit a sling and draw. It kind of off. Awesome, of course. Um, Kirkmanahan, when are your, when's your Wilbur's show? Uh, when is it calling him?

July 16th. We have, uh, two shows, July 16th. Two shows, July 16th, right here. Right here, yeah. Going back to back. Back to back, yep, yep. Like, are you going to change it up? We'll change up a little bit of it, yeah. I don't know if you're just going to berate the people in the crowd the whole time.

It's a good question. I don't know. Yeah, so I mean, yeah, it's, I don't know if there may be some tickets. I don't, I know. I know they sold up, but then they said, I can tell you know a lot about this. I don't know. I'm, I'm, I'm, we're working. I get nervous. I like the fact you actually can barely

see anybody here. I'm worried about that. That's a part of it. It's perfect. Two. I've never done the show that hasn't sold out. So I don't know. I don't know what... I figure you'd go there at some point. What do you mean? We're blaming it on the Celtics. This is the bad crowd. I think it's a pretty good crowd.

Yeah, yeah. No, that's good. I think you guys... I'm not saying the people are good. I'm saying the sizes. Okay. These are stupid people? Yeah, you know. But so like, going forward, are you guys going to do more of these? Like, are you going to do more? I think it's harder for you guys in a way.

I was saying to Lisa before because you're not, like for me I can do this because I'm regional, right? Like I don't know what your, like, if I said to you guys, what is your base? Also, a lot of our events people can golf in. So it's like there's always that extra added, like, value in it. That's what I mean. For this, the fact that people show up and listen to this talk is fucking awesome.

So thank you to everyone. That's been here. We love her. Suck their cocks a little bit. I'm actually going to toss a little thing out to the crowd here. I just took all this from my closet, by the way. It's a one bite. This is an old school one bite.

fucking thing right here. I'm going to close my eyes. I'm going to toss it as far as I can. All right, look. I know the Celtics are on. We got U.S. Open, obviously, this week. Huge thanks to Kirk Minahan. Make sure that you sold out so you can't. Thank you guys. July 26, thanks. I'm going to be on the Kirkmanahan show Wednesday. Wednesday, yeah. We're doing Wednesday. So I'll be in studio on Wednesday.

Big thanks to Kevin Kisner, even though he's not here. So we don't have to be nice to him because he's not here. All of our crew that put this whole thing together. Phenomenal work. Thank you guys, everybody that came out. Let's have a great U.S. Open. Thank you.