Fore Play - You’re in quarantine, where!?

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

Riggs fled to Pinehurst. Lurch to Charleston. Trent and Frankie are locked down in New York City. It’s quarantine show number 2 and a few of us are already going stir crazy. We discuss potential fall Masters dates, the cancellation of more tournaments, what it’d be like if the PGA TOUR went on a fanless municipal golf course tour, and take several From The Galleries!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/foreplaypod

Hey, 4Play listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Office is, I believe no one's going to the office now. I think it took us one day to figure that out. So, you know, it's Corona time and how long this thing's going to last. Nobody does. I've been pretty glued to the news. I think as everybody else has, updates left and right.

Frankie, I think, walked probably less than 300 steps totally. yesterday, which I think you're just dead at that point? Yeah, there was a point last night where I actually started to do like squats with no weights just because it was like 12 o'clock because I figured that no blood had rushed through my body at all 24 hours straight. You know, it really hit me around like seven or eight o'clock where I'm like, I haven't left this bed all day, like literally all day. I mean, for nothing. Like I didn't even go to the bathroom. I was probably dehydrated. I barely I was just eating Swedish fish and Sour Patch kids and Snickers and it was just 375 steps is it might be the most impressive stat that you have in the last calendar year

because if you think about all the time you just bring it the phone from desk to face to look at to tweet to look at Instagram I mean that's a hundred steps maybe 200 steps right there right you got to think the phone falsely recorded at least half the steps right so in a 24-hour period to record 375 steps, you have to legitimately be, like, bedridden. You have to be, like, in the hospital. Frankie's- Like, pee?

Do you not even pee? I, I went, I went pee like once, like, six o'clock. Frankie's lack of movement brings up an important point, though. Like, if we're going to be in this self-quarantine for potentially months, I got to figure something out in terms of moving because I bet I didn't move much more than Frankie did yesterday. And I was telling you guys via text before we got on, at the end of the this thing, whenever it ends, I'm either going to be 370 pounds and my legs are going to be black and blue,

or I'm going to be a shredded 190. Like I'm not going to be able to maintain you won't be a shredded 190. That's out. So 190's out. So you're just the obese man with the socks that come up to like your like almost your calves and you can see those blue lines like working through your leg. Oh yeah, there he is. Did you already have that made up? What? Yeah. What the hell is the end of doghouse? Ben Stiller's character when he's sitting on the couch with his big tits and he's surrounded by junk food, but my head is on top of it. Did you already have that made up? What's happening? Yeah, I was going to send it to you while we were recording just to see if you just burst it out laughing, but I thought that was a better time to pull it out. But like I was saying, I got to figure something out because I cannot come out of this on the other end being just 500 pounds. Yeah, it's like I could have walked outside, right? Like you can still like take a walk around.

the block. I don't think that's like the right thing to promote. Like we should actually all just be staying inside and doing the most we can inside. But I think if you want to be able to get fresh air and like physically walk around the block without like coming in contact with anyone, going to like a store or anything, I think that's fine. It has to be fine. Like there's no, I can't survive doing 375 steps anymore. Even if I like walk down the hallway or whatever, like I got to do something. I can't, I can't just sit in my bed all day and play like MLB the show and edit Pete's reviews on top of my naked body. You will truly become transparent. Your skin is incredibly white right now. Just be see-through. If there's no blood,

crazy. I was a psychopath. I went into the parking lot yesterday at like six down in Charleston and hanging out with this girl I know, now girlfriend. And I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, I was going to call back. For all the listeners before we started, we were in this little group chat thing. And Lurch must have said the word girlfriend. I don't know, seven times. the matter of two minutes. In the point of I said. Nobody ever says girlfriend in there. You know, I'm at my girlfriend's place down here in Charleston.

My girlfriend said that I'm a little too loud. My girlfriend said that the phone call was a little too long. My girlfriend said that I had to go outside. I was like, do you have a girlfriend, Lurch? I guess what's going on? So on a work call this morning, I said, and she overheard. And one of her big points about me is that I'm too loud. So actually, I don't know how long this whole girlfriend thing will last.

Because I'm just inherently loud. Loud is like your main characteristic. Exactly, that's my number one. Like on that show, Love is blind when the girl Jessica's like, I just can't get into him physically. It's like, you just think he's ugly. You just think he's ugly. That's the problem. And she thinks that you're grotesquely loud.

Yes. Is that a word? It works. But anyways, on a work call this morning, I was like, yeah, this girl I'm hanging out with cut my hair last night. She didn't take too kindly to that. So now I've been overdoing it with the girlfriend phrase to try to get back in her good graces. But anyways, we were bored last night because we're obviously quarantined. We can't go anywhere.

My hair was a little long. So I was like, you want to just cut my hair? And so then she went to town on it and went snip, snip, snip. But earlier in the day, I was just doing full-blown sprints in the parking lot. So whoever lives close by just saw my dumb ass just doing full-on sprints. Then I was doing these circuit things around like this big garden where basically you sprint one side, jog three, sprint two sides. It's jog too. It sounded like T-Rex was coming.

I mean, Jesus Christ. You were sprinting out of the parking lot. She said she heard my foot sprint, and she had headphones in. She was doing her own thing. But, yeah, she trimmed my hair last night. We're just kind of, you know, hunkering down here. You're either going to be broken up by the end of this podcast or engaged, depending on how it goes?

I don't know about that. I'm going to disagree with you there. Certainly not engaged. Okay. But broken up is definitely a possibility. So you didn't play golf with kids. didn't play golf with kids. I got a software schedule that I got to uphold.

You know, we got an end of quarter coming up, you know. Software's not going to sell itself. Software is not going to sell itself or you're certainly not going to close anything in coronavirus season unless you're, you know, working with a client, trying to be friendly to them, understand that obviously it's changing everything about everybody's business. But you've got to be there, you know. So as Trent would know, you've got to ping people.

You've got to stay in certain swim lanes. Gross. You got to be appreciative. But I think actually, next week, hopefully kids and I might be able to stir something up he couldn't play yesterday um you couldn't play yesterday sorry I couldn't play yesterday and he can't play for the rest of the week because he's going clear about that he was texting me being like lurches a pussy yeah well that's fine he's I mean it's just the inevitable he's going to beat me whenever we play especially who played

his course well and so I'm just delaying the inevitable but maybe next week we'll be able to get something on the books because he's on he's at the beach uh throughout the rest of the week with his family hanging out so look, believe it or not, we got a lot to get to. We have a ton of from the galleries. I went through a comb through, and people have been sending a ton, which means you fuckers are bored of shit, clearly. We got some headlines.

We got a lot of headlines to get to. There's obviously cancellations. There's postponements. There's speculation about the masters. We got to first plug our YouTube page. We got a bunch of videos. You're going to hear a ton of like sirens during the show because I live on Park Avenue and it's just nonstop.

I think there's just like a siren. just a siren lane where people just come down and just I actually don't hear it you didn't hear it okay good you guys hear so that's funny that you said that because the siren room by when by my window as well when you were saying that so hopefully you guys didn't hear that either well you will hear it at some point I think so it's good that I just let you guys know that you're not getting like pulled over or something if you listen to this in the car it's just my apartment pandemic good um so our uh our YouTube page we've got the Kisner video which is uh Kisner Scott Brown it's literally an hour and a half of pure entertainment with those guys, especially kids chirping.

And then we've got a bunch of other videos on there, too, that people might not be aware of or you miss that are very long. We've got like 80 minutes with Kevin Chappell where Frankie and I were out there. We've got the video of us at Beth Page, which I forgot about, which was like three weeks, three weeks before the PGA last year. We went out and got our dicks kicked in by Bethpage Black. We got the Chambers Bay video with Devon Taze, which is really good. So people can scour our YouTube page.

We got a ton of videos up there. Anybody got any shoutouts? Borrelli's restaurant. Ooh, great one. Yeah, shout at Borrelli's restaurant. We're going to need people in the Long Island area in Nassau County to rally around you, not just Borrellys, but just small business in general. Yeah, it's going to be in Nassau public storage here pretty soon, I feel like.

No, they're going to be good. My dad's working his ass off over there, just trying to just make ends meet right now. It's tough, man. Like, I'm going to be there tonight. I'll be there tomorrow. I'm just like, it's going to be eerie walking around on a Thursday and Friday night with all the chairs up and the, you know, the dining room darkened and just like my dad running just like takeout and delivery because, you know, we're not the biggest takeout and delivery to begin with. We do a lot, but like catering for big businesses and stuff, but, you know, we're on kind of like the outside skirts of the town that we're in. So it's like a lot of people have their little pizzerias within the town.

But yeah, it's going to be a tough time. For all small businesses, man, if you take two months off or however long long. is going to go on. That's nightmare stuff for, you know, you can run a business for 65 years and fucking a virus comes in and makes you shut down for just doing, like, you're just doing the work. You're not doing anything wrong. You're just, you know, people like a restaurant. They want to come in. There's not allowed. So it's, it's crazy. It's crazy to all the employees, like, you've been hearing about it left and right, but all the employees that work in, in the restaurant industry, service industry, like, what are they going to do? I guess there's talks that the government's going to bail them out.

I think in like France there people the government mandated that I think like landlords are not allowed to like charge rent for certain businesses during this whole thing and like and like utilities and this and that it's fucking wild to think how it's going to pan out. I mean your dad's got like hopefully he can just evolve and ramp up some delivery business but it's yeah I mean it's fucking awful. Dude even like big. So I tweeted yesterday sauce pizzeria one of my favorite places in the city is doing a thing where like you order a pie and they'll deliver a pie for. every order that they get, they'll deliver one to like a nurse or a doctor's office or a hospital that, you know, those people working around the clock to, because obviously the beds are all filling up. But yeah, you got to evolve, like something like that. Like I told my dad we got to start doing like frozen pizzas. People can stock them up in their freezers and stuff like that. He said that he would

be into like, you know, doing like the donation thing. Like if someone ordered like two pies or whatever, we can bring it over to like a nursing home or something that's like near wherever places that they're all quarantined and stuff. So yeah, there's definitely ways to get through it. It's just like you said that we have we we employ a ton of people a lot of waiters a lot of bartenders a lot of cooks um it's crazy they all got to you know take like fucking i don't know i just got to like i don't know you know my big um the big thing that i'm seeing is you can buy gift cards so if you want to help out that is big you want to help out your go-to restaurants or whatever three or four restaurants and bars i go to a lot you snag like a big gift card now so they've got a little bit of cash flow to like

help pay their bills and help employees and stuff and then obviously you can go there in the future or So that's a big move. Check that out, folks. I got the hell out of town. I bought a $64 flight, and I flew to North Carolina. I can see that. You're in the beautiful little living arrangements right now. Presidential, if you will. Yeah, I'm in the presidential suite at the Carolina Hotel.

And I might have an acre of this hotel to myself. I mean, there's no one, the distance between me and anybody else is amazing. It's actually quite stunning. I'm hoping that this whole place doesn't get shut down, but I figured that I just couldn't get stuck in New York, that claustrophobic place. And I think that they're heading that way. I'm hearing what is it,

shelter and place that they're doing in, like, California that they're talking about doing soon in New York. Yeah, de Blasio, de Blasio said yesterday that within the next 48 hours, they're going to decide to do a shelter in place or not. I don't know all the rules to that, but I'm pretty sure it's to stay in your goddamn apartment or stay in your home unless it's for like essential food,

or medicine or some sort of medical need. And I think that I don't know when they're going to announce whether they're doing that or not, but that seems like the direction we're headed for sure. Yeah, it could come out as late as tonight or tomorrow, I heard. It was like within 48 hours of yesterday when they announced it. But yeah, like you said, I think you, I think it's literally just stay in unless, like, you need to go check on someone. Like if you, like, take care of someone that's elderly or something, like you're allowed

to, like, leave your house to go there. If you need to go get, like, groceries or something like that. but aside from that, it's literally like just stay where you are. Shout out to everybody that's taking this seriously and actually quarantining themselves. The people that are just running around right now drive me insane. But like are disregarding this whole thing. It's just very bothersome. So shout out to anybody that's self-quarantining, kind of aware of what's going on and doing their part to what they're going.

I will say it's very. Coming from a guy who hopped on a plane and went to another state, but that's okay. I've been covering myself up. Okay. If everyone does that, though, it's not a quarantine. That's all I'm saying. I've noticed... Do you have a point? I've noticed it's very regional. Like, in New York, it all, like, it hit harder and quicker. So everyone was very much, like, more into hunkering down. And I think a lot of that happened, like, Sunday. Right? Like, Saturday, there are all kinds of videos and pictures and stuff. Like, people were fucking out and about at, like, bars.

And then things kind of changed. And Sunday, everyone's like, oh, shit, we got a really, like, hunger down and quarantine and like social distance and all this that and then i've noticed like down here i got here like yesterday i've noticed like there are people that are pretty plugged in and then there are some people who are just fucking clueless like i'm like there's shuttles as you guys know like we did pine nurse there's like the shuttle right it just like takes you everywhere everything's within like a mile or a half mile or whatever but there's like shuttles i'm like no i'm not gonna like ride the shuttle i'm just gonna walk anywhere like if i want to go putt or something i'm gonna legit grab my putter. I'm going to walk the 10 minutes from my hotel to like the putting green.

I'm going to stand by myself, put, and I'm going to walk back and not interact with anybody. But like, and most people are practicing that. Most people are like get it and are social distancing and like people aren't shaking hands and stuff. But you also have like the shit, like there's a people on the shuttle like stopping me while I'm walking and stop and they're like, hey, why don't you hop on? Grab your clubs. I'm like, don't touch me. Like don't grab. And then like some people think you're being rude. And they're like, so you don't know how to say like, no, no, like don't get. within six feet of me, especially like if they're older people. I'm like, you know, I don't, I don't have any symptoms before what I've heard like for five, you can go like five days

without having symptoms. So I'm like, no, no, I'm like, treat me like I have the coronavirus and like you're supposed to stay far away from me. And I legit, like if you don't, like I could in theory kill you because like, you know, it's fucking crazy. And you like most people I get, again, like get it. But I've noticed it's very regionally different down here and even like talk about my family back home and like in Missouri or like Colorado where like, it hasn't quite reached. I think it's been accelerated the last handful of days, but it hasn't quite reached, like, people that it's as serious as like in New York.

And obviously in New York, we have like, there's like a thousand cases in New York versus I think in like North Carolina, there's like 35 or 40 total so far. So I get that that's different. But it's very weird how like in the bigger cities, it's almost like fashion trends and shit like that, how they hit. And then like six months later it becomes like a trend in like in the Midwest or in other cities and stuff. and it's like that almost the exact same way with this.

Yeah, I was talking to my brother in Cedar Rapids, and he said over the last two days, it's gotten very serious and accelerated in terms of shutting down bars, shutting down restaurants, telling people not to go in public because someone at one of the restaurants tested positive for it. So it's almost like people aren't heating it until it actually hits where they're at, and now they're shutting everything down.

I think it is very regional. Like you said, in New York, obviously, if one person has it, there's a good chance that, you know, thousands of people have it. In smaller places in, like, the Midwest, I think it actually has to hit where people like, oh, we actually have to take this thing very seriously. Yeah, it's different. I think everybody is catching up really quickly.

And like now that even when you see like the president starting to take it like significantly more seriously and the messaging is very much like, oh, no, this is pretty intense. I think that kind of resonates with people and whatnot. But yeah, the governor here, I think, yesterday mandated that all restaurants and bars be takeout only so they are um so yeah it's just it's fucking wild the craziest part i would say is that like we're probably in day two or three of like two months of this scary yeah that's the thing that's just keeping me in like my mind at limbo

and just uneasy and just i feel like i can't do things because i just don't know anything except I'll be inside and be in quarantine again tomorrow. Like how long is this thing going to last? Is it going to be? It's certainly not like a week or two. Oh, no. Like I just- It can't be.

Yeah. Everything is canceled. It's crazy. It cannot be a week or two. It has to be two months. Like the fact that the NHL, NBA, Rider Cup, all these things that are happening,

like all these rumors and all these cancellations and every, like clearly it's bigger than what. Just FLAO. Yeah, big FYI. Yeah, true. Not yet. Don't say not yet. Take that back. Not now.

Not now. It's not post-book. I am, so from the outside looking in, I feel like I'm a guy. If you looked at my life, like I would be very well prepared for something like this. But I've found that I'm not handling it all that well because I think I like having the option to go out and do something. Like now you are forced. Like you don't have an option. Like when I would sit in my apartment on the weekends in the past, like it's like, if I wanted

go out to dinner right now, I could just go. If I wanted to go to a bar, I could go meet up with people now without the option at all. I'm getting stir crazy and we're three days into this thing. So it's, I can't imagine how people are all going to handle it, but you like, you have to do it. I think that scares me is like, like 60% of us could just have it at some point. Like we all could just be walking around with it. And we have no idea. No one's going to get tested, like just if you don't have symptoms. You can't even get tested if you, if you don't have symptoms. It's just the people that have severe symptoms that are getting tested. So these numbers are so low right now.

I understand like the death and mortality rate and all that stuff will go down. But like it's going to get to the point where everyone walking around like every other person is going to just be carrying. That's what if it doesn't, if we all don't just sit in a room for two months and just let it all die out. I was thinking too like there's got to be in the future, right? Let's say like two years from now.

The coronavirus is still going to be like a thing that people get, right? Like just like the flu. Like it won't be like clear like. like in theory if we're doing all this stuff we should have it under control the medical and health care system should catch up and we'll have like some sort of vaccine or or some sort of like medical advancements to treat it and help it and all this that but like it's not going to disappear right so like in two years in theory like the same number of people that have the flu on a on a daily basis or whatever seasonal basis are going to just have coronavirus right like it's

not going to go anywhere i think you're right and the most disorienting thing about it all is how fast it happen. And we talked about it on, I think, the last podcast, the one before that, where a week, a week and a half ago, everything was normal, literally everything. MBA was going on, MLB was doing spring training, NHL was heading towards the playoffs. And then within, you know, 72 hours, and now, where we are now, it's like, everyone has to stay inside. So it almost hasn't hit me that this is going to be lasting for months and months and months. It's weird. Horrifying. Well, folks, while you are, you know, hunkered down, one of your few versions, methods, methods, mediums you have to communicate is your phone. And if you're like us, you're probably trying to, you know, you're trying to

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dominates them. You can head to robociller.com slash foreplay on your mobile device now. Download the app. New users get RoboKiller for free for seven days. So grab your clubs, grab your, uh, you know, maybe your Xbox controller, maybe some video games, maybe go run around and, and, and do some exercise, get a workout in in your apartment, but do not get distracted by spam calls while you're doing that because you're going to go to robociller.com slash foreplay and you're going to take care of those callers. masters potentially moving to October so as we talked about the last show kids thinks it's not going to happen there's a bunch of debates about the grass the ryegrass and you know when it can

grow in when it can't augusta famously closes down during the entire summer for like three months we've all seen that drone video of how in the middle of summer the whole thing's like brown and dead and there's nothing in the bunkers and all that so folks are like well if it can't be by may which it can't because we're all going to still be in quarantine and then it can't be June, July, August. The course isn't totally regrown yet by like September. So then you're looking at maybe October or, you know, December maybe. December apparently gets pretty chilly. So you're kind of looking at October. Folks have been trying to do a little investigative work, not me, but other people tweeting at me and then I just tweet them myself and say that I'm doing

investigative work about, I think it's October like 9th weekend is where a lot of things are coming together folks and it is yeah it's like October I think October 8 9 10 and 11 and people are saying that the hotel prices in Augusta are like through the roof now so if you try to get a time a hotel in Augusta in like mid September no problem you try to get a hotel in Augusta this week that we're talking about in October they're like 900 bucks in these crazy crazy amounts there's also you know some people are saying that Augusta reached out to the education board of Georgia and the local counties, or surrounding counties and areas about extending their fall break.

Augusta needs a bunch of volunteers and they need homes to rent so people can rent homes because obviously tens of thousands of people come into the city, into the town for the masters. Point is keep your eye on that weekend. I believe it's October 8th through the 11th. And we might have ourselves a master's in October. We talked about what that could possibly mean with the fall foliage and this and that. But it'd be fucking weird to have the master's.

I was thinking as like the last major of the year. Like it'll be bizarre. I don't have changed things. Like you know, all these other storylines going into it. Are you the number one in, on a report of news outlet for the Masters? Are you the number one guy out there?

Do you think anyone's closer to the situation? Anyone aggregating more details than you, Rigsie right now on this? No, but I will say that I think people are, I think other people have a stronger filter than I do. on that information getting to the public. Right, I would agree with that. Because I have none. The thing about the education system,

wanting to extend fall break so they can have more volunteers out there, that seems like the most concrete thing that I've heard. See? And if that came from you, then I think that you might be number one. No, and I will say I've gotten, I have a handful of folks who I know are legitimate sources.

They've sent me pictures and stuff that I can't. They ask me not to go public with. So there's a few people that I, but I don't know how much they know. Right. Like I know, I know some of the stuff that they know is legitimate, but then like even them, people love to have like information, right? They know, they might have heard from a guy who's on his like team who heard from a guy who

talked to like the chairman and this, that. So trying to siphon through that kind of stuff. But, but I do think in terms of conditions, like I think by in that early part of October is when they can get the course ready, all the other stuff that we kind of talked about with the education board and all this, that. And then the fact that they can work out, I think they're trying to work out with CBS with the football games because, you know, if they've got a football game at like 3 o'clock, they obviously don't want to conflict that with the masters and this, that. So other things to figure out. But and then we also had the PGA championship postponed, which is supposed to be mid-May.

That's postponed. And the PGA tour canceled four more events. So at best case scenario, professional golf on the PGA tour level resume like May 20th-ish. That's best-case scenario, which is over two months from right now. This is hard to fathom, you know? I also love that you're just spitting out the facts. That's something that I would do. I love the fact that anything you get in, you just regurgitate right out because at this point,

even if you swing at like, even if you fire at like a 600, like you're batting, 450 or 500, it's still leading the league. You're Hall of Fame. Like, what's the worst that could happen? Even if you bat fucking 300, if you're wrong seven at ten times, you're a Hall of Famer.

Dude, even if you, in Riggs's case and in all of our cases in terms of breaking news, that's not how we make our bones. Like, we're not Woj, we're not Schafter, we're not shams. You do other things like the podcast, and if you get one thing right out of a thousand, people are like, oh, that's pretty cool

that you got that right. Big time. And it also just doesn't matter. Like this is a thing that doesn't matter if I'm wrong. Like, how's that going to change anybody's life? Like if I, if I, and I'm also like back to back tweets, I'm just tweeting conflicting things. Like I tweeted my one, I had one tweet yesterday where I was all this reasons why it could be Christmas Masters. And then my next tweet was how like that's impossible and it's going to be in October.

Just take both sides of the coin. Therefore you can retweet it later and be like, oh, it's right. Yeah, I'm just tweeting out the information. I mean, people are DMing me left there. I got a guy knows a member. This guy's on the fuck. And this team that works at Augusta, this guy, you know, and I'm just putting it all out there and people,

they're going to have a ball with it. What else are you going to do right now? The only risk you run is getting disappeared by Augusta National. Well, everybody's quarantined right now. And Augusta members, well, Trent, Augusta members are typically old. So they got to be really careful. They come after me. There's a lot of corona.

They've got to kind of navigate their way around. And that might take them out before they get to me. That's a good point. might be the one time where Augusta doesn't have power in terms of controlling people because they can't leave their homes, otherwise they're going to drop dead. Correct. So, you know, it's a weird time. It's as a bizarre time.

There was one time quickly. Like the other time that I can compare this to, sorry, is Riggs and I were both living in Boston at the time. And it was during the Boston Marathon bombings. And so we actually were under like house arrest, depending on where you lived in the city. But you knew it was kind of a short amount of time. So it wasn't like this.

And also, you know, the opponent had a face. Like in this case, it's just a, it's faceless. You have no idea kind of where it exists, where it is. And being under house arrest was weird at that time, kind of just tracking each and every storyline. But now it's just so bizarre to me. I can't wrap my head around it. And I apologize, Tran, if I cut you off there.

No, no, you're fine. And it's almost, it does, doesn't make sense to make everything come back to coronavirus, but that's just where we're living right now. Like talking about the PGA championship, talking about the Masters, we're talking about potential dates. We just don't know. But I understand that like October, that's a few months from now, maybe we'll be in the clear. I would love an October of Masters. Can you imagine, it doesn't matter if it's going to be the Masters or whatever golf tournament or whatever sporting event, that first one that happens, that's going to be the biggest event in human history. People

finally being like, we're clear of this thing. Let's try to get back to. some normalcy and let's watch some fucking sports. That's going to be amazing. I tweeted that out, believe it or not, I said the first event back, and this was five, six days ago, the first event back is going to be the biggest event in history. People are going to go nuts. It's going to be a national event. Like I was saying it should be like, they should restructure the hockey season for

like to be Islanders Rangers. That's like what I would want. But like it has to be like New York versus Boston, something like just, I don't know. like Yankees, Red Sox, like something's got to be huge. You know, it would be really cool if they did not to put on like this heroic hat move, but like if they took like the women's professional like hockey league and had their like championship game be like a day before anything else. And this, the whole fucking country went like bananas for like a women's like professional

sporting event. And they just got like unreal attention that they don't typically get. and then that like kick this off and everything else because like Red Sox Yankees, that's always going to be crazy this, that. But it is like the watch parties and shit for whenever like we're back, whatever that event chooses to be, whatever that like string of events going to be. Everybody's going to like celebrate being out at bars, watching together, being at the actual event.

Like it's going to be fucking crazy town. I don't even know a scenario in which we can like get back to just going to bars. Like who's when are they going to allow that to happen us to just be in huge groups? Like I don't under, I don't get how that's just going to be okay at some point. Also, the way the world's going right now, how are they going to be like, yep, today's good. Also, you're just going to go to a bar and like accept this random person delivering you a drink that they've touched. Dude, the world's changed forever. I'm going to rub that with like a little Purell wipe.

I may never, I may never shake someone's hand again. Dude, so my brother's on their birthdays. I don't know. And you know what, the head. It's out. I don't know if I can shake hands. And handshakes have existed in one form of another for thousands of years. but its origin is somewhat murky.

So let me tell you something about where we think the handshake came from. One popular theory is that this gesture began as a way of conveying peaceful intentions. So by extending their empty right hand, strangers could show that they were not holding weapons and bore no ill will to one another. Some would even suggest that the up and down handshake motion was to dislodge any knives or daggers that may be hidden up the sleep. Incredibly interesting that the next time you shake someone's hand, if you are, you know, strong enough or courageous enough to shake someone's hand,

that at one point that was done, that actual motion, that like businessmen, Trump, all these guys who have real strong handshicks, that was meant to dislodge any knives or maybe some weapons up in the upper arm area. I'm going to go out. I'm going to say that that might be the truest fact that I think you've spewed. Not necessarily shaking out other things, but I do believe that the handshake came from like presenting that you are presenting no harm. Yeah, conveying peaceful intentions.

I'm revealing myself to you. You know I have no knife, weapon, whatever it is in my hand. Here I am. You can touch me. And we're now like we're on the same page. Now here's another one that's similar to that is the cheers, which I actually don't have in front of me. I just know this one from the back of my head. Someone had DM me this too.

Now, this is wrong. The cheers was actually when a king would meet another king or maybe like someone would come from another land and present himself to the king, they would often share a drink together. And they would actually pour the king's drink into the other person drink. We've seen this in Game of Thrones before

and like other old time, whatever, like fucking prehistoric times movies and shows. I couldn't think of the word. Whatever. Not prehistoric. Medieval. What type of stories were toasting before they did? And then a Tyrannosaurus rats walked by them.

Anyway, they would actually cheers it and be like, all right, I trust you that this drink is not poisoned and we're both going to take this together. This is a form of peace. And speaking of prehistoric, let me hit you with one more fact. Frankie's flying off the fucking handle today. Someone told me that if you were on, if you were on a star or a planet that was 65 million, light years away and you took a ridiculous telescope and you were able to see Earth that they would be looking at the dinosaurs right now. Yeah, because it takes, it takes that light, which is how you see that stuff, 65 million

years to get there. That puts your like pretzel mind of we do this podcast today, but when will people actually listen to it? Dude. But my point is if you have, here's my point, here's my point. If you have a telescope that can reach the fucking actual, it can really, it can reach the fucking earth how how is it i don't know it doesn't make any sense to me you also can't stand on a star so like you know what i mean no but even if no he's saying even if you just had a

if you had a telescope here on earth from fucking your backyard that it over out in the in long island that could see all the way to a planet orbiting a star 65 million light years away it would be the same thing. You would be seeing in the past. What you would witness would be in the past. It happened 65 million years ago. So let me look up at stars. They all could be dead right now.

So that whole entire, that whole entire Milky Way galaxy could have vanished already. And we won't know for another 65 million years. It's like, what the fuck? Well, those stars could be burned out. Yes. Let's not take. So the white is still traveling to us,

but the star itself is burned out. horrifying and let i know that that's making everyone drive off the road and just give up on life right now because it is a scary place we live in we live on a planet we're actually flying through space right now um you know how fast we're going horrifying speeds do you know how fast the earth is moving around the sun we move around 365 days that's how we go around the sun yeah yeah but how many how many miles per hour do you believe the earth is hurtle around the sun on its orbit. I think it's like something like,

isn't it like 10,000 miles an hour or something like that? 67,000 miles an hour. That makes me want to throw up. We are moving. On top of that, we're road, so we're going this way at that speed, and then we're also rotating at a thousand miles an hour.

What was that alert? So not only are we traveling, but we're spinning at a thousand miles an hour. No, we're not spinning a thousand miles an hour, alert. We're not fucking spinning around like we're in fucking musical chairs or like the teacups at fucking Disney. We are not

a thousand miles an hour. I believe it's 920 miles an hour that we're spinning as we're zooming. We're spinning and it's our zooming. How fast does the earth spend 1,000 miles per hour? Bingo. Dude, we're moving right now.

I'm just, I'm going to quarantine. We're flying around. I'd also like to answer a question that we talked about last podcast. I pull it up here. Heavy jet aircraft do not have keys. You can enter the cockpit door, which do not have locks, start up the APU, a small jet engine in the tail to give you power and air, then start the main engines, all of which you just have to toggle or push button switches. And then this last sentence seems crazy. It would be very easy to steal if you knew the systems. That's part of the paragraph. That's the first Google search, and that's the last sentence of it.

We need to put that guy on a list. That seems. It would be very easy. to steal if you knew the systems. So no, planes, airplanes do not have keys like Kiz was saying. Roeback active wear. Now look, there's a whole little spiel I'm supposed to read here, this, that. We've been rocking Roebuck for like a year and a half now. We put our logo on their performance teas. I got the blue and the gray one.

Their stuff is phenomenal. And the biggest highlight, I would say, that comes out of Robach on their polos are their collars. I don't know the science behind it. I don't know how these guys. guys figured it out. They're great dudes, by the way, small little operation. And they've grown it and grown it and grown it and grown it. But they figured it out where the collar, it just holds like its shape and the integrity of the collar forever. And we all know that like you wear, you wear a polo once, you throw it in the wash, you don't know how that collar is going to come out, or you put

it in a drawer, you stack it for a couple weeks. Maybe you don't get to wear. And like the way it was stacked with like the other shirts, it might just totally crush or crease the collar or like whatever. the collar on rowback polos, it's like it's invincible. It's like they put something in there that legitimately, physically doesn't make it possible for the collar to ever lose its shape. It's amazing. Last week, Bengals head coach Zach Taylor was wrapping a rowback QZp at Combine Media Day, so whenever that was. Look, you go to rowback.com, use the promo code for, and you. you're going to get 20% off through the end of this week.

That's 20% off all polos, all quarters zips, all T's with the code four. They drop some new St. Patty's Day, spring break performance polos, Q-Zip pullovers. Go check them out. Roback is popping up all over the Barstool Office. They'll soon be taking over the entire world. Go check them out at rowback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-com. promo code four.

You're going to get 20% off. Trust me, they make very, very, very good stuff. I rock their polos, their performance teas all the time. They got the long sleeve and the short sleeve. I wear them around the office. You probably see them a bunch of videos. So rowback.com promo code for false report that the Ryder Cup is postponing to 2021. I will say it does feel kind of weird to call it a false report when in reality it could

just like tomorrow or next week or in two months it could just like get postponed. So keep that in the back of your mind. but it was interesting that this the telegraph, telegraph sport or whatever, I guess this guy's pretty credible, tweeted out. They even wrote an article being like, we have it on like the report is good,

that the reporting is good, that the PGA of America is going to announce that the Ryder Cup will be postponed to 2021, which made everyone be like, oh, they're making room for the masters and the other majors, and they're going to have to move everything back and all this, that.

And then it turned out it was just like wrong. Yeah, I can't imagine, the like the rumor mill around that organization because, you know, people, like, you hear this rumor and it actually got so big that I bet people internally were like, wait, is this? Who said this? Where did this stem from? Like they had to vet it out internally before they came out with like their official statement and then the post on Instagram and a bunch of different outlets. But I can only imagine like the panic and just uneasiness internally when you're like, imagine if there was a huge rumor that went viral that was like my company was shut down. know, you'd be like, what? Where did this come from? Right? And then they have to, it's just nuts. Yeah, because unless you're at like the top of the food chain, right?

Like, and even then you might be like, oh, the logistics department or somebody like made this call without going to me. Like, so yeah, I'm sure that was happening. I will say I was correct and out front of that one by about two minutes. I tweeted out about two minutes before the Rider Cup USA tweeted it out. I tweeted out, first of all, hold your horses, everyone, was one of my tweets. And then the next one was per sources, this is a false report. The Ryder Cup is not postponed.

And like two minutes later, they tweeted out that it was not postponed. So I was actually, on that one, I was correct. I could, I think we're in for a month-long Riggsie hand pat on the back. I think you're just going to walk around and just continue to slap yourself on the back for the next month. I'm just, no, no, no, I'm not. Up front reporting you're doing it. I'm just now reporting on how accurate or inaccurate some of my reports are. Okay.

All right. Fair enough. My shoulder's so bad. I can barely pat myself on the own bed. You're not very flexible, huh? Well, there's no blood running through his body. So how could his body, you know, the whole thing? Yeah, I agree with you, though, Riggs.

It is a weird place to be in where it's like, no, this will go on. It's like, actually, like, I can't even, like, walk to the grocery store right now. So why don't we stop talking about, like, what can go on? Like, even though we want it to go on, it's like that everyone rallying around. That could be that moment that, like, the whole country gets behind, like, a sporting event. It's a international play. it's it's it's an unbelievable oh shit whatever five dollars i don't care um it's fine it's a shock it up yeah you have i mean we have we have it's a society we have rules even though things are falling

apart we still have to say five dollars of the kitty yeah um but yeah it just feels weird to say that anything is staying on and like i don't know i just like you said we're two days into this lurch and it feels like we're going to be here for a long long time i'm already reading reports like when the NHL Players Association is, like, deciding when they want to come back. It's like, why don't we figure out that everyone can just stay healthy and not die, and then we'll figure out when we're going to start playing sports again. Right. I don't know if you guys actually, there's these great, like, little business intelligence tools

that show you if people don't quarantine versus fully quarantine, and they make people little dots that bounce around and how fast. Did you? But, like, because with that. The whole internet saw that a couple days ago. Well, I just want to make sure. that was maybe the most viral thing two days ago. What did you mean by like business tools?

You thought like only people in the software world? Yeah. Would you like log into your fucking like business tool that was just like a gift online? Would someone slack that to you and you're like, oh, I got to let the world know about this. I'm going to pay the world. It was on barcialsports.com. Did your girlfriend show you that? Oh, let's find a perfect swing way to ping that too.

By the way, I trip my tooth. So I have a baby. I have a little baby. I have a baby tooth. With a baby tooth. No tooth was underneath it. No adult tooth was underneath. So my dentist was like, we're just going to let that thing ride out as long as it can go.

Now we're 26 years in and it's finally almost done. It's like on the side where you guys wouldn't be able to see. But last time I was eating chips and tuni, tuni bagel. Tune and I had some chips. Time out. Time out. Time out. Yeah, big time out.

Roll it back. What the fuck did you just say? What's a Tune? You're talking about tuna? Tune. Tune. Isn't that the power coin in Canada? Yeah, Loonies and tunis.

No, I call it a tuny fish. I don't know. Sometimes I'll say tuny fish. What's life without whimsy, you know? How are you on that side of the coin with tuna, but on the most annoying side with Montereylle? Wait, what do you mean? Like in the way that you say them.

I'm still churching up tuna. Top. You're just being a four-year-old. Listen, Tune. Anyway, my Tudy. And right now, while you guys are talking, I'm just playing around with it with my tongue. that's not fun. I have a chip tooth.

Oh, yeah. You see that? So I chipped it when I was playing hockey when I was younger. My dad said, my dad's a dentist, obviously. So my dad said, I'm not going to fix that until you're done playing hockey

because I don't want to have to keep fixing it. And then I haven't been playing hockey for like a decade now, and he just like never fixed it. I just have a chip too. Although hockey players in their teeth are just absurd. It's one of the more crazy things that we live with in a society that these people just walk around with just no teeth and they all have just fake teeth and at any moment they just explode like brock nelson uh has just a bunch of fake teeth on the

bottom and the top and when there was hockey being played a puck went off the backboards uh behind the glat behind the net and came right back and hit him in the mouth and just exploded his teeth next night he was at dinner where just no teeth in his mouth and just like at a nice town restaurant just like showing up he has a huge scar on his face no teeth probably could buy out the whole place if he wanted to do, but the waitresses and the, yeah, the host is probably like, who is this guy walking in with no teeth? Who's this hillbilly? Walking in with no teeth. And he's about to sit down. Meanwhile, he has probably the biggest bankroll at anyone the whole entire fucking place. It's nuts. Lurch, do you want to go on about your super secret

report that only software salesman got? No, no, it was really nothing. It was just, I was just making an upfront point to then go down a tangential line of discussing that we're just in limbo and how frustrated it is and like, you know, the coronavirus it is. And it's just, it's just, it's, it's making my mind just so uneasy that I want to do something, but like when am I going to be able to do that? And I just, now I'm just sitting. There probably is there isn't an answer to this. But we're talking about the Rider Cup, which is months and months from now. What's the earliest date of something where you would think, oh, yeah, that's probably going to happen. I don't know if there is no answer to that.

Years. How can we say that when we're still in limbo on the fact that we're getting it locked into our rooms within the next 48 hours? We're so early in this right now. Right. Yeah, you're right. I think in May, I think mid-May we're going to be starting to become... No.

No. Wrong. You're talking in May 2021? No. You can't be May. They're already canceling stuff in mid-May. I already know people that are like canceling weddings in like June. This is, it's like real life shit's going on.

What date would I be comfortable like putting my, putting my stamp on like this is when things are going to, this is when I think this event will, would be like August. Wow. I'm earlier than that. I think everything gets, no, no, May, I think it's really going to turn around and we'll be able to, you know,

do what we please. That wasn't the question. I think, I think early summer then. I'm early summer. I'm a big, advocate for just canceling everything until, especially sports, just the next season.

Are you happy that the islander, that the season is, got like stopped because when the islanders were losing every hockey game ever. Some people are saying that the islanders, if this goes on until August, they would have had won a hockey game in like six months because they hadn't already won the last three weeks of the season. They lost seven in a row, four of them being in overtime. They haven't been playing as bad as people think.

They've been moving up in the standings. They've been getting points. They've been scratching and clawed. I am very happy at the fact that guys can get healthy. I'm not happy at the way this is going down. Because when they come back in August and they play a three, three week, I don't know, when they come back in July and play a three week, like, hyper fast, like, tournament where, like, only eight through 12 play each other. And, like,

they're doing all these things that, like, the Players Association is trying to drop all these ideas. Like, that is just not going to be what I'm, like, if the outler just don't make the playoffs because they lose a three game series against, like, the Florida Panthers. Meanwhile, like, they could have had, like, regular season games at that point. Like, it's just not going to be real. Like, whoever wins the Stanley Cup this year is going to get a huge asterix next to their name. And if it ends up being the islanders, I'll take that back. Let it be the Rangers. I mean, it would be the Rangers year to win this year. It's just like go out and, like, just

like when they won the other three out of four cups, all they have to do is beat three teams that they played against and they didn't have to win a playoff series. They just had to finish top six out of six and they were awarded the Stanley Cup in 1929 or whatever year it was. This would be a time that the Rangers win a Stanley Cup when the hockey was, when the NHL was put on hiatus for four months. Guys are flying back to Russia and shit and couldn't. They can't skate right now. They're all these,

uh, rinks. And I'm sure, I mean, like, I'm, I'm sure like golfers are figuring out ways to get the golf courses. I mean,

Riggs is fucking playing golf. You guys are playing golf. But like hockey players legitimately can't skate right now. So like guys are just sitting at home just eating cheeseboards and drinking wine. It's like, what do you? Totally. Jump back into the biggest part of your season.

And like I could see, um, I could see guys getting out in their home country or, or city or town or whatever, like skating. by themselves. Like, I think guys will be able to maybe do that a little bit here coming up pretty soon. But, like, kids made the point even when they were talking about continuing the players

championship of, like, our sport's different because we don't come into, he's like, we don't come into contact with each other. Like, we don't, like, bleed and sweat all over each other. And, like, it's not a contact sport. Like, you can just keep your distance from other people. And golf's like that, too, with, like, practicing. So I do think, like, golfers more so, like, even hockey, if you go out and skate by yourself or football or whatever, like, they go out and, like, practice by yourself.

it's just like your your ceiling on like how much you can practice and train is much lower than like in golf where like you can it's it's an individual sport like you go out and play and that's it's not reactionary to other stuff whereas like hockey there's a big difference to be being in like your own personal like hockey shape and like real person like hockey shape where you're out there and like the game the speed of the game and making passes and like this and that um which like you you just don't you just don't have to worry about in golf so i think that there is a distinct advantage to golfers being at, like, elite level versus other sports right now. I think once we get to a point where, like, it's going to be safe to carry on with somewhat of a daily

activity for people, you can go back to work and you can go to restaurants, but, like, they're, they're going to stop, like, stadiums from being filled for a while. They're going to stop, like, movie theaters, all these close quarters. I think they should bring back golf with no fans. I think that's one of the things that people will rally around. And, like, you can have, like, a big tournament. You can, you can, you know, put it on CBS. and maybe even like ESPN picks it up and like golf could be that one sport that would be like, all right, these guys aren't touching each other. They're literally, like you said, 10, 15 feet away.

They're not going to touch each other. They're not going to touch the pins. Maybe whoever touches the pin holder that holds a that actually just has like gloves on, right? And the guy just comes in and raises the pin, like just a caddy on each hole. And at that point, hopefully all of them will have been tested so you'll know who hasn't and who doesn't. Like they could just in terms of whether they have to stay away from each other, that could be way easier with that. that small number of professional golfers, if they all get tested,

it's like everyone in this field doesn't have it. Let's have like a semi-normal, no fans, but like everybody can kind of interact a little bit. You think a part of the quarantine and like the, well, not the quarantine, but cancelling golf for this long was based upon like them saying, well, we understand that we are at less risk of getting it than any other sport or any other,

even like company like in the world because we're not next to each other. Like we said, and we're out and open doors and all these germs are not everywhere. Do you think that they had a lot of pressure on just, I'm like not spreading the word that like it's okay to go out and golf like that's why they're canceling for so long and they're canceling all these tournaments like they don't want to be the ones that are saying like no you can actually go do this you can watch us on TV and you can go out and go I think it's logistics I think honestly like they're learning that each event and I bet they got pressure from the sponsors are like that logistically they're going to save a ton of money by knowing now that they're canceling right so like a lot of the grandstands and the supplies. and the things like that stuff as we know because we've like we've been able to see sort of the bones and the makeup and all that behind the scenes of tournaments that goes into it there's fucking insane and like even like getting the porter potty's there and transporting like extra golf carts there and the ropes and the the grandstands they build like little cities and shit you have to start that months and months in advance so i would guess that like logistically and all that they save a ton by just canceling it now that would be my guess and like canceling it well in advance versus canceling it a month out or two weeks out where I think like you've already invested everything. You've already spent all that money in time doing X, Y, or Z and you can't go like it doesn't help you now.

Whereas I think now they can like there's an opportunity, there's a, there's something that they can save by canceling in advance. That'd be my guess. You don't want to get caught in a position where the player's championship where they found out a couple of days before and they had everything set up all the grandstands like you're saying. All the volunteers were there. All the infrastructure was there to have a tournament. and then they just didn't get to use it. And if like, you're like, Riggs is said,

if you cancel them in advance, you don't have to do any of that. Yeah. So I think that's a big part of it. You could be right, Frankie, and that like they didn't, yeah,

they probably, and there's a ton of people that are super sensitive right now, right, to being, like, shamed for being, you know, open or accessible or whatever the hell it is.

You don't like, everything's so sensitive right now that you don't want to be on the wrong side of that. And even I think it was Matt Janella, who tweeted out yesterday, kind of like getting a debate going on, on golf. And like, is golf, like, is that something?

Because, like, all the characteristics we talked about that's, like, okay or is nothing okay. And, like, some people are saying vitamin D, I guess, and the sun is, like, good for, like, fighting viruses, even the coronavirus and activity. I think one of the things that's under the shelter in place is, like, exercise. Like, there's a certain degree of exercise. That's, like, an exception to, like, being outside of the shelter in place thing. And so, like, does golf fall underneath that? And then some of the, and then some of people pushing back that, well, if you have a golf course that's open, you're going to have somebody's got to, like, run the pro shop. And, and like, that's interaction.

And that's too much interaction. Other, like, some courses I saw are doing cashless and they're doing just electronics. So, like, you just book tea times online. Then you show up. You don't have to interact with anybody. You play around. I thought one course they had, like, the cups were out, like, two inches above the surface of the green. And they're like, if your ball hits this cup, you're in the whole.

so that nobody has to like pull a pin this that so like I think the pins by the way I saw that do you think you just shoot a much lower score with that and just drill it let me how good lurch would be a putting you just drilled it right at the hole I was thinking you just drill as hard as you can everybody I mean it's the same thing you miss it then it's just way by like hit it right it's true but I think that you're I think your probability of skit or like at least touching it it takes out like a lip out for example like there's no lip out because if it just hits it, you just count it as good. And you breeze right through the break, too.

If I have like a little slider, no, you're missing it. What do you mean? If you hit it harder, it goes through the break. Yeah. Take out just like the, what are you talking about? What am I missing? You could still do that today. Like, if you hit the center of the cup, it's still going to go in. Yeah, but it could like hit the back or it could fucking skim out the side.

Like, all I have to do is just hit it as hard as I can. There is a certain level of like speed that the ball wouldn't go into the hole now, that it would still hit the hole if you did the thing. Fair, fair. Just to disagree with Frankie quickly, there's no way they stopped golf because of people going out and playing kids made a point that they would love to be the sport that everybody could enjoy during this hard time but i think it's a hundred percent logistics i think you're 100 percent wrong that it's about people going out and

playing and they don't want that i don't i asked a question i never made a statement number one you dumb fucking ogre and number two uh why can't they just play why can't they just play without all the tents and all the workers, why can't you just show up to a place like Bandon or like Cabot or Cyprus and like just have absolutely no, and just have absolutely no grandstands and just like a couple camera towers and you just fucking film these guys play golf courses that have no people on. The people hear the like, um, there is, okay, I was wondering, there's a mowers and whatnot going on outside. I think, um, well, I think, I think we might get to that point, Frankie.

Like, I think that they could be the first sport that gets to that point where, in two months or so they could say like, hey, we, you know, we kind of, um, we pivoted and we're going to go to a band or something that's very remote. We're going to have only essential personnel. We're going to be there. Um, they're going to play and get to that point. But I think that like the system, the health care system and the testing needs to catch up first because even then, like you would have to like travel. You'd have to have a bunch of people that travel, all the players, all their caddies, probably a swing coach or two. You'd have to have like the film crew, right? the people that are in the truck.

So like I do think like you could, you could have people can travel small here and there and like try to stay spaced out. But I don't think we're at the point where like the tour or any golf entity would be comfortable like putting on an event that sort of forces people's hand to have to do that. But I do think in two or three months we can get to a point where like they have the, the testing or whatever to make sure everybody's good and then put an event like that on. And they can do it before hockey or basketball or any. any contact sport could. So I think it's like they very realistically could be the first sport to be back.

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You can make off of LetGo. It's a good time to be out there checking, searching, check an inventory around your place, figuring out maybe what you need to elevate that lifestyle. Like I mentioned earlier, download the Letgo mobile app at letgo.com slash barstool. that is let go.com slash barstool live and let go you can sell your items right on the app browse check out the inventory it's a great way to kill time see what's out there you'd be very very surprised so again you go to let go dot com slash barstool and check it out what's the number one golf course you'd want to see a pGA tour event at wow cabot oh that's a good one dude cabot cliffs i would love to see them play cabot they would first of all like that course up by that. And it would be a million under.

A million under, but it would be so much fun to watch them play that golf course. Well, what's crazy? So I was reading on the plane, Mike Kaiser, who's obviously built, abandoned, Cabot,

San Valley, who's an absolute hero and a total legend, like the billionaire who just totally committed to, like, trying to invent Scottish light golf here in the United States and knocked it out of the park. They're having the U.S. Amateur abandoned this year

for the first time. And like, so there's going to be really, you know, the best players in the world that are like too young, basically to be fully developed and on the PGA Tour now, are going to be playing banded dunes and banded trails for, you know, a major championship essentially. Like that's, if you look like Jack Nicholas still considers his U.S. amateurs, like major championships.

So they're going to be playing a place, they're going to be playing banded dunes at that high level. So I think that's going to be as close as you get to that experience. They used to play Cyprus as part of the, AT&T Pebble Beach Pro Am. Like for a few years they played Cyprus and there's like the book about the match at Cyprus. But I would love to see Cyprus. And then honestly, I would love to see like, you know, I'm trying to think of like a course.

You know, think about your local like track that you play. Like there was a place that we played growing up or in college called Newton Commonwealth and Newton, Massachusetts. It was like 5,400 yards from the tips or something. And they legit, it was an original dollar Ross. course and they had to sell off like a third of it for like residential stuff since then. So there's like I think the par four 13th hole. There's literally it's like 240 yards from the tips.

But there's a there's a pond before the green and there's a sign that says if you go for the green, you'll be banned from the course forever because it's right next to the clubhouse. So you just kill people. And like I think everyone listening probably they have their local muni or the course they grew up on that like seeing the pros play it, even if they shot 55 under for the week would be fucking awesome. Dude, there's a place called Airport National in Cedar Rapids. It would just be the funniest place for a PJ tour event. I can't even explain why it's very hilly,

very short, but it would be if we could get a PJ tour event there, it would be gangbusters. They'd shoot 120 under. And keep it in the condition, right? Like, because people talk all the time about like, well,

they always have perfect grass and perfect greens. And like, here I am. Every time I miss the green, I'm in like a fucking crater of like mud between patches of rough. How the fuck am I supposed to get up and down from here? Like keep it in Munich condition and just like have tour events with no fans and no infrastructure at like munies around the country.

That'd be amazing. I'm going to tweet out of photos. First of all, Newton comm is incredible. That hole that you talked about is amazing. And actually when you get to that hole, you have to walk up like 20 or 30 feet of vertical to get to the T-box. So me and my buddies that were lazy and just didn't want to walk up there to just bunt a shot down the hill would actually take a golf ball from that point and just throw it down the hill,

let it roll, and then just play wedge shots in. But last time I was there, all the greens were just covered in sand. And I don't even mean like a little bit of, like a thin sand layer. I mean you were putting on a beach. It was the most absurd environment for a golf course I've ever seen. So to actually see professionals show up to that golf course and play and put through sand, I'll see if I can actually tweet that photo out. It was the most absurd thing in the world.

I'll find that photo. Newtoncom, too, it had like probably three or four T-boxes were just mats. Like, they just had mats. So, like, the third hole is, like, a pretty sick, like 160-yard par three with, like, a two- or three-tier green. And, like, like, like, Lurch is saying there's, like, no grass on the green. So the greens are actually awesome to play on because they're rock hard and they're lightning fast with, like, way too much undulation for having no grass. So you would have like five foot downhill putts that legit you couldn't keep on the green if you missed the hole. And it would just be a total circus.

But then the next hole, they have back to back part three. The next hole is like 110 yard part three that there's no legitimate grass on the T-box. They just have a green mat like here at the driving range that you have to hit off of. So you're hitting like this wedge off of that. And then if you miss a foot left, it goes like 50 feet downhill, down a hill into the trees. Like watching the guys play these kinds of golf courses would be. It would be great. It would be great if it just started up a muni circuit.

That would be awesome. So good. That really would be great. I wish we were all sick. Well, like, yeah, I mean, those guys should just go to muni courses and just light it up. That would be. I'd love to bring kids to like a bunch of go-pros running. Exactly.

Be so good. The place that I was able to shoot like 39 average in high school because it plays, it's just straight 380 yard par four, straight, 360 yard far four, straight. It's just kids would just be driving. wedge tap and birdie on every single hole. JT tweeted out a picture of like, you know, he was giving himself a little pat on the back. He was like, yeah, I got crushed by rookie today, shot a 65, Ricky shot a 60 with a 29 on the back or the front. I can't remember. But I'm sure they're playing a legit course from the tips in 7,500 yards to see them play Newton

and rip that sign off the wall. So because they can obviously just go, I mean, they might shoot. I mean, they're looking at a low. How much lower can you go, though? That's why I mean, like, They're playing the Tiger Woods video game where like if you're not, if you're not 22 under par during that round where you just hit restart, you know, and you start over again, that's what it would be like. Like they, they're like every par four at Newton Commonwealth is drivable. Like we think like Justin Thomas can go to that place and shoot a 52. Yes. It's close to the first hole. The first hole is like 290.

A 290, no trouble right or left. each par five is insanely getable. The second, insanely getable. The second hole might be the only legitimate hole on the course, like a 550 yard par five, dog leg left, water, creek uphill second shot. It's awesome.

But then like eight for me. The fifth hole, yeah, it's impossible. I've made really high numbers. The fifth hole is probably like a 440 yard par five. And then the next hole is probably like 300 or no, probably 260 yard par four. Like it's just, that's just what it is.

So like, and we're just talking about that, that whatever that hole is, it's either 12th or whatever it is on the back. That's a par four that's 220. So you just, I mean, like,

I mean, they're going to light that play. If you put 10 pros on there, somebody shooting sub 55, I would say 54 and a half is the line. I will say this on that golf course. They have like internal netting everywhere because the course is so tight that they literally have nets between holes.

And then it's also so tight that like on the other side of it, there's OB everywhere. So like, on that 220 hole we're talking about it's the 13th hole I was just doing it at my head okay 13th hole and it is you hit your t shot like we're just saying down this hill and then there's a pond before the green and you know how like 15 at augusta they talk all the time about like the third shot if you lay up you have like a downhill wedge shot over the pond to like a green and it's hard like you watch like Sergio made a 13 there and like guys will chunk it

and like it's just a hard shot to hit a fucking uh uh leading edge like wedge like wedge off a downhill lie. And Newton Commonwealth, dude, you have like a 55-yard wedge shot on a severe downhill lie with no grass on the whole golf course that you have to hit over this pond. And if you catch it a hair thin, you're just hitting a car and you're out of mouth.

It's amazing. We have to, I was just thinking about it, we have to do an 18-hole round. Like a new-and-com. It would be incredible. It is circus golf. It would be a lot of fun. But yeah,

You're out at Riggs. You're at Pinehurst. What's the vibe there in terms of like golfing and what everybody kind of feels like what's going on in the world? Yeah. So I, um, you know, they've got the sanitizer everywhere. People are, um, all the restaurants are closed for takeout only. And then, you know, the golf course, like there's not, I wouldn't say it's not packed, but like there's definitely people about on the putting green.

Everyone's like keeping their distance. And then I watched a few groups come in on. I played Pioneer's number one this morning. I was the first guy off at like 745, played in like three hours. And I afterwards, I walked, whatever, 50 yards away. And I just caught up on my phone and watched a couple groups finish up on a couple different courses. And like everyone's doing like the hat tip from like afar instead of shaking hands on the 18th green. And then I noticed people were either digging into the hole like with their putter to get the balls out for the most part.

everyone was leaving the pin in on every hole so that nobody would ever really like remove the pin or they were doing like the two finger tickle in there where you don't touch the side or the pin you just kind of like grab your ball real quick like a fork you know what I'm talking about yep um so like people are playing people are definitely like out and about playing but they're all kind of exercising the same sort of social distancing stuff like within um within kind of the confines of that uh there's no one obviously like in the establishments and even like around the hallways in the Carolina hotel and stuff, there's like no one. Like you don't see anybody and all that. So like it's it's busy. There's people around playing, but also Pioneers has nine courses. Like even if it is busy, it doesn't look like it's that busy because there's so much space and all this that. But yeah, I mean, people are kind of feeling like I mean, I do know I've been talking obviously a lot with the people at Pioneer. And like they're super sensitive to it because the governor came down yesterday.

I believe it was the governor in North Carolina who said he put the mandate in like, bars, restaurants all had to close down. And they're very conscious of like they don't want to be doing the wrong thing. But they also want to like honor the fact that this is kind of an escape. It's keeping people sane. Like this is an area of the country obviously as we know where like golf is kind of the epicenter of a lot that goes on here. So like, you know, people if they feel like they can get out, walk, get out of their

house for a little bit, not really like do anything socially wrong during the epidemic, then they kind of like feel like it's their duty. deep piner's like stay open but they're also very sensitive to the fact like nobody really knows so if they're told like that's really fucking wrong this that they're like we'll shut it down but um so they're sensitive to it but i think most people are kind of doing it understanding that like they don't think they're doing anything that's like worsening the spread of the disease so that's kind of where people are at um are you getting room service right now or no hold on say it again my are you getting room service right now or no room service

You are. I'm sorry, cleaning ladies. Are cleaning ladies coming in and cleaning your room? Like turning down the bed and things like that? Because I would reject that. I don't want that. I didn't think about that.

Oh, yeah, I guess somebody probably made my bed today. Riggs just had a look at, oh, that's a nightmare. Look on, just flashed on Riggs's face like, I have grown a virus.

Yep. I didn't think about that. Patient Zero in the presidential suite. Bro, put that, do not disturb thing outside the door. Oh, yeah. I'm going to do that from now on. I didn't think about that.

But I will say, like, even when they come with the room service, you know, I, like, have them just set it down on the desk. And then I immediately, I immediately go to the bathroom and I wash my hands. And then I, like, I have a little packet of, like, desanitizer stuff. And I just wipe the whole thing down every time. I will say, based on where you're staying, I mean, I went to, I don't know, some grocery store down here the other day. And they were wiping down every shopping cart.

And that's just at a grocery store. looks like where you're staying the people are clean washing their hands doing everything in their power to make sure that nothing happens down there so i think you're sick look where i came from new york i think has like five new york city alone has like 500 confirmed cases or something at this point and the state of new york has over a thousand and again i think like a total of 40 confirmed cases in all north carolina and zero so far in the county of pinehurst i think that'll obviously that we know that'll change and go up um but i feel like you know it's a little bit of a little bit more remote.

But having said that, like, people are clearly not as, you know, focused and, like, committed to it yet. They're getting closer. But again, it's kind of where we were, like four days ago in New York. I mean, like I said, Saturday in New York, I mean, people were just fucking out and about everywhere. It's like 60 degrees and all this stuff. I don't know what to do, man.

I want to go back home. It's like, what am I supposed to fucking do? What do I do? What are we going to, should I stay in New York? I don't want to be locked here, man. but I also like, am I going to go home to sit in my living room and, like, go into the kitchen and just, like, mix it up with my family. Like, seems like too many steps for you already. He can't go that far. I mean, your body hates you.

Number two, what am I supposed to do? I just see you taking photos of this group chat. I don't know what you're doing with them, but all I can see is your phone. Sneak into view, you like get this sick, twisted laugh, and then you put it down and you're like, If we're being honest, I look the worst out of all of us. So, like, you look fine. I don't know. Riggs has, I mean, the room looks great, but his microphone has a red shining light on his face.

Yeah, I know. It's like, there's a red light on your microphone. Yeah, there's a red light on your microphone that's like making your face glisten. Every time you speak, I want to hear, dum, dom, dom, dom, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Dude, I look fucking ridiculous. Why do I look so ridiculous? You're melting. Red light. Why is it on your teeth?

I'm melting. Why does this thing come with a red light? Why do I need this? Looks like a hairdry. It looks like you're operating in a hairdryer. Jake tweeted out a picture of me of Foreplay with my DJ headset on, and it looks like I haven't had a glass of water in a month. But really, though, answer my question.

What are you supposed to do in this time? Because, like, I still want to quarantine myself. I still want to go home, into my own room, my house, my family's house. in my old room and like just sit there but like is it really to the point where I can't leave this apartment I can't get out of the city I can't go back home because I'm going to be with like my parents and my like girlfriend and like their family like what are you what are you supposed to do right now just say no to that I have no food left what's sorry and I shouldn't laugh yeah what's the are the streets like dead in New York right now or what is that

they're pretty they're pretty dead I mean uh like Like I was saying, so where I live, it's like there's eight lanes of traffic, Park Avenue and then whatever, 23rd. I always say where I live, but 23rd in Park, it's four ways. It's two lanes going each way on both sides. And usually it's just madness. Cars like wanted to make laughs and honks all over the ways. I haven't heard shit. Last night was dead quiet.

Crazy. Not a car to be heard the whole entire night. Not one. that's that's so eerie so eerie yeah i don't know what to do tweeted out a photo of uh time square no one there i mean the whole thing it's just it's you know i don't have um so the the stooleys and the listeners and uh everyone that's been you know the four-play listeners have been really hit my fucking dms with with facts so i'm going to hit you with another one right now because i know that i'm never going to have a too little amount of facts to go at this point because

I get about 20 to 25 origin story facts. Well, there's also a lot of facts in the world. Like, you could do that. There's so many good facts. It's insane. But this one is really interesting, not more like mind-blowing, but just very interesting. The fact is about pirates and the reason why they wear eye patches. Would you be able to know why they wear eye patches, lurk?

I have no idea. Dude, this is interesting. So the reason why pirates wear eyepatch is not to look badass while they're drinking rum. It's not to look intimidating to enemies. In fact, it's for night vision. While wearing an eye patch, they keep one pupil fully dilated. So if their ship got invaded, especially at night, the crew would go below deck and flip the eye patch over to the other eye

and immediately have an upper hand on the enemies because their enemies would have to adjust to the dark while the pirate's eye has been fully prepared for this moment. I love that. How far? How fucking sick is that? How fucking sick is that? It'd be like, boom, I can see in the dark

and just fucking just start. slicing people's heads off like holy you shit now i don't know if that's true right that could be a frankie someone also messaged me also frankies facts before falsehoods or something like that like it's a fact before it's proven my thing with you know facts is if i like them i'm just going to take them as this one i'm going to repeat yeah that one that one that one works like in my brain that's perfect it makes sense it's validated the one that's about golf courses like does golf make you have fun. Like when you're raiding golf courses, are you having fun? It's not about like what the architecture and all that stuff is. Are you having fun? Do you think that you're going to take my fact

and repeat it to someone else? That is, that is the threshold on if it is true or false. If you're going to take that and be like, hey, you want to know something about fucking pirates and their eye patches? It was actually night vision goggles. And that's the reason why they were covering their eyes. That's fucking factual. Dude, your fact about why brides have bouquets of Flowers. I couldn't have told my roommate Robbie Fox that sooner. I couldn't have told him faster. Was he like, holy shit, man.

He was like, that makes sense. Yeah. What's the flowers one again? So in the 1500s and early times that they would only bathe in these massive, in these massive pools. Yeah, math of, that was crazy. Baved and massive. Quaky doesn't know how. speak. I got two.

But they only showered in the 1500s once a year. So when they got married, so they didn't want the bride didn't want to smell. So when they walked on the aisle, they held a bouquet of flowers and they smelled like the flowers. I don't even know that it has to be correlated to the bathing. I think that just like in 1500s people smelt that. And it was like they figured out ways to like mask the body odor. And one of them was that they would carry around flowers with them. And I'm assuming now this is something me just rifting off the fact is that

people that that's like maybe how like people like i don't know people started having flowers in their house and like uh guys would come home and give flowers to their wives and stuff maybe it was just because things smelt so fucking bad that was like the fear the first like home air purifier like to make your your house smell nice because everyone just reeked of their own shit oh here's another one that blew my mind not really a fact just a just a a play on words outrageous yeah but dude this people are hitting me with the I want it. It's crazy.

So you know why they call it the mall? You go to a mall? Why do they call it the mall? Because they don't just have one store. They have them all. The mall. Is that like a Mr. Frankie Brown?

I don't know. I swear the guy says that that's why they call the mall. That's why they said it was called the mall. With a handshake. Then you followed it up with a couple bad facts. You started hot with the icon. A couple bad facts. Then you came back with another one.

Wait a minute. I've only said three facts. No, no, what did you do after the handshake thing? That was worthless, too. I don't remember. You went somewhere after the handshake thing. Oh, the 65 million years, but that was actually interesting. Yeah, I guess. Is your lawn looking a little crappy lately? Weak, thin grass. Does it always feel like you're doing too much work when it comes to your lawn? How can you get results with doing the same amount of work that you're doing now? our very good friends at Scott's lawn care. Okay, we talked a lot about these guys last time. They're going to help you out because, look, we know everybody. If you're out there, you got a nice lawn. We don't in New York City. It stinks. It's a bummer.

That's one of the great regrets. It's one of the great things that you miss out on living in a concrete jungle is that you don't have something like a lawn to take care of. Lurch has talked a lot about how one of the maybe most important thing in his entire brother's life is his lawn and taking care of his whole landscape and the whole situation. You get it. People out there.

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They present from the gallery, which is up next. We got a bunch of good submissions. Kyle says, should Jack have won a lot more majors? Jack Nicholas finishes majors are insane. He has 19 second places, 48 top threes, and 56 top fives. I wonder if this is my roommate Kyle sending this in because he's the biggest fucking Jack Nicklaus fan in the world. We argue Tiger v. Jack all the time.

It's outrageous to have your favorite. He argues for Jack? It's insane to be 26 years old and be a fan of Jack Nicholas, as if, like, you watched him when you're, like, would you watch YouTube videos? It's crazy to, it's crazy to take Jack's eye when you're 26 years old growing up with a mythical creature that is Tiger Woods

and take the side of Jack Nicholas. I've talked about this before. I just had to say it because it says Kyle and it says Jack. Yeah, that, you might as well be like, who's your favorite celebrity? Be like, Galileo. Be like, what do you? I have a kid.

You can't, that doesn't work. The Guido Torpren. Peter Pee-Doh, my friend who helped us with Tiger Woods at the PJ Championship last year, his favorite baseball player is Mickey Mantle. How is that possible? We used to fucking shit on him all the time. Like, what do you mean your favorite baseball player is Mickey Mantle? You grew up with the 1997 through like 2009 New York Yankees, like Derek Jeter,

Bernie Williams, Horacea, anyone? If there's not a possibility for you to like do whatever you need to do to go watch your favorite player play and like witness them play. in real time at an event, at an arena, at a golf course, at a tournament, whatever, then they can't be your favorite player. Your favorite player cannot be dead when you were alive. Like, or like, when you were born, yeah. When you were born, yeah.

Or like just, or be retired for 30 years before you started even watching sports. It just can't happen. Like Mickey Mantle has, like, just highlights on YouTube, and half of them are like, like, like, shit, like, like just not even that good footage. Like, oh, you saw him hit a couple good home runs and like that really long home run at Yankee Stadium. I'm like, what do you, what's, what is, what makes him your favorite thing?

Right. A big part of having a favorite player is that they existed, their peak performance, their prime, was when you were either a kid or at least like when you were in your teens and you watch them and like, oh, I remember being this age when Michael Jordan did that. Mickey Mantle, he had done everything and he was dead before that guy was born. Just imagine your favorite golfer being a 26 year old golfer, a guy who, who likes to play the game of golf and likes to watch golf and listens to this podcast, Kyle. I know that you're listening.

Like, how can your favorite... Is he in your apartment? No, I'm quarantined by myself. I've been going insane. Like, I don't know. I'm just screaming. Is anybody here? Like, no one's here.

The whole fucking building is empty. But how can your favorite golfer of all time be Jack Nicholas? It just makes no sense. But carry on. I just noticed, Frankie, you put your little links, Jim's bed page. You created a little studio. I don't want I have something to say about this actually

that I probably didn't even have to say the first day I brought it home I broke it I chipped it it's just so gradual that like I put it down and just like I put it down too hard almost like when like a phone hits like the corner and just like splinters

but it's still in good shape I mean it's got some character now got some character you're not great with gifts No. When people give you gifts, you're not, you don't handle them well. Well, what other, I'm frantically thinking of when I've not handled other gifts before. The wine.

Oh, the wine. Yeah, Taser. Taser was at the driving range today, just isolating himself at Cherry Valley, I think. Also, what did you? Great. Who's this? Devon Taves. Oh, yeah.

What gift did you give your girlfriend's father that was like, master's oh i got him a uh a master's that polo and then later on like a couple months later he was like oh uh brawny wants to bring back a shirt from the rider cup but i'm like i'm not fucking taking a shirt from something i've never been before i got to be there you like said it at dinner and i was like well like why don't you just go shove that fucking master shirt right up your asshole because i just i waited online and like in the 100 degree weather we missed like the masters to like get that shirt I was at Augusta National and waited online to bring you that shirt.

Like, I wasn't watching golf in the greatest place on earth to bring you this shirt. And now you don't want it. It's like the best gesture anyone's ever done is like to leave heaven and like go walk into like a merchandise tent and be like, I'm going to stand in here for the next hour and not watch Tiger Woods or he wasn't there that year. But like, so did he receive, you gave it to him. And then what, you were at dinner and then he was talking about another shirt that he would never wear. because you've never been there. Yeah. And then the best part was,

the best part was they went to Bandon, they went to Bandon, and I couldn't go, and they brought back a quarter-sit for me. Like, I think it's a whole fucking game they're playing. Yeah, there's a big, they're in on it. Oh, big time.

That made me picture Frankie Brelly in literal heaven, and then going to the heaven merch shop and standing in line to buy like some wings. He's like, I'm going to get these for my father-in-law. And then they're like, no, you'd go fuck yourself.

I don't want these wings. That's great. Jay says the coronavirus has inadvertently eliminated the debate about the players being a fifth major. Playing a full round and just canceling the tournament with absolutely no pushback from players or social media. If this were a true major, people would be going crazy about who got screwed out of a major, whether or not it deserved to be a major champion on their resume, or at least a bunch of pushback. Really, it asked the question, like, if the masters were one round into it like the players was, like would they have just canceled the tournament?

Yes. I think so. I get what he's trying to say. Got to do it. Yeah, go ahead. No, no,

no, you go, Trent. Well, I was just going to say, like, I get what he's trying to say, like,

that this makes sure that the players isn't the fifth major, but I think if you play the scenario out, like we are, at the Masters, at the PGA, at the U.S.

Open, I think it's very similar where they're like, it's just not worth it. The public pressure is too much. We got to end this thing. I don't think it really has anything to do with what

this happened during, it's just that it would have happened at every tournament. Yeah. And then my point on top of that was I was in this bucket, but until Kiz, he made a few good points about international players and like Francisco Molinari and, you know, anyways, Eastern Europeans that are, that are playing. Like, you have to factor those people in so heavily into the decision that I don't think that there's any way. What do you mean facts to them and how?

well like you have to factor in their well-being their family's well-being like you know there's just a bigger thing at stake there that i think any tournament would have been canceled after day yeah yeah i think it probably would have been too i don't know that that necessarily because like the players is pretty much as big as it can like it can get it's not like there's a huge like i get that the players isn't consider me but like it's in that realm of six or seven events that are on a different level um so uh if if you played augusta from chris i kind of um I kind of tweaked this question a little bit, but I think it's a good one. If you played Augusta, which T's T's would you play from? The Masters T's are like 7,600 yards, and the members T's are like 6,300 yards. So which T's would you play from if you're playing Augusta?

We've talked about this before, I think. If it's your first time and you want to enjoy it, you play from the members T's. You don't fucking, you're one time, if it's your only time you can ever play Augusta National. If you're going to play it from the 7,300 yards, I know that you're going to be like, okay, let me do, let me see how the pros play from.

Like, you're not a pro. you're not going to enjoy yourself. You're not going to hit it as far as them. You're not going to hit it the way the course is designed or whatever you're going to rebuttal me with. 6,300 yards is actually more fun to play. And I think we've also said this before in the very podcast that you'll find yourself in situations that are more pro-like if you play from 6,300 yards as an amateur. Like you'll find yourself being able to reach greens, reach the green in three on a par five and certain shots. Like par three has become easier and not as much of like a, you know, like me. being a hack on most holes, like playing from 7,300 yards, I have no chance on some holes. I'd rather have a chance on every hole. It doesn't mean I'm going to do well, but at least I'd give myself a chance. Yeah, you're right. We have had that conversation before because I think the point around, like, for most amagers and weekend golfers like us, like playing it from around

6,300 yards is going to make you hit the same clubs and have a lot of the same decisions that the pros have. Yeah. Whereas playing it from 7,600 yards, you're not going to have any of those. Like playing it for 7,600 yards, like it's not like on, on, you know, number two, which is like 580 or 400 yards or whatever it is. Like, like Louis Eustace and hold out for Albatross with like an iron in his hand, like 580. Like I can't. I'm hitting like driver three wood pitching wedge into like that hole.

And so whereas if it's 510 or whatever because you're playing from 6300 yards, like I hit a really good drive, I might have like a three iron into the green or something. but I get to try to play the same kind of shot that they get to play. Yeah, I'm, I'm been thinking about this one. Trent, are you ready to answer? I need another minute. I couldn't have said it better than Frankie said.

For me to enjoy myself? I need a minute. What do you make it a pros and cons list? Well, no, I'm just racked in my brain. You know, much like a waiter comes over and we're ordering food. I'm not ready to deliver what I want. Yeah, we're not at dinner. This is a show.

You're definitely the guy who knows what he's going to order, and no matter what happens when the waiter comes over, you still say, um, and you open back up the menu. You open the menu back up. You know, all right, I'm going to get the chicken parm and a penny and,

you know, maybe a glass of red wine, but when the guy guys, are you guys, are you guys, you get a brownie and like, you literally grab the menu and you go, um,

I'm going to take the chicken farm actually. I think I played from 76. If I was going to play it once, I think I played from 70s. Hardo. No, just because, I mean,

yes. Yeah, I just, I would, I would want to, such a hardo move. not really. I mean, I would struggle all day long. I mean, I can't hit the driver for the So did you play Pebble Beach from the pro tips? No, where do we play it from? We played it from,

we played it from like 6,900, which is the blues, which is the furthest teas that they have out. But you can like walk back to the U.S. Open teas. I don't know. I've never done that. I don't know if you could do that or that. I think you probably could, but we played it probably could. That's the number I would, I mean, yeah, I think in my head I would prefer to play. the tips. But if, like, you could play a combo set of T's and sometimes play the members, sometimes play, you know, the tips, I would do something like that. Yeah, you can't.

That's not the, that's not the- Just too long. It's just too long. And it, I don't know, we're not professional golfers. 100%. The course was not designed for our swing and our ability to play the game to play that course at 7,600 yards. Here's the other thing.

For us to play at 6,300. If there was three golfers in the group that want to play from 63, I would just play from 63. Like, there wouldn't be that much of a difference to me. But if I was playing myself and played at once, I would play from the tips. Have you guys ever been in a group where you have gone against the group and played a different set of T's? No. What are you a loser? No, that's crazy.

That's ridiculous. Thank God. Well, I thought maybe someone was going to confess how much of a harder they were. What do you think that's me? Well, I don't know. Maybe if you were with like a bunch of guys who would just like, you know, weekend. And you would just walk back to it. A couple weekend hacks.

I want to play the white teas and like, you know, they're like, yeah, we want to play like 6,200 yards. And you're like, well, no, there's a blue tee at 68. That's more better suit in my game and you just walk back there. I'm 99% sure that that's happened in this group at least once. There's no way that people, there's no way. You're all good. Riggs, you've never once been with people and played back there and like walk back and like, no, I'm going to play the blues because like that's just what I like to play.

No, you know, we never play like, I never try to play like the lot, the deeper T's. I think I. Not true. You are, yeah, you are not a longer. you usually advocate for the shorter one. Why are you guys saying some little fulgin smirk on your place? Well, I remember with the Whitney debate, it was like it was a huge debate on he wanted longer and he said that it didn't help your game, which is true.

Oh, totally. But that would be just like if Kisner and Brooks Kepker are going to play like a $2 million dollar match, Kiz is going to root for the short. It's not so much a chirp. It was just an observation that I didn't remember. He had a little smirk on your face. As he was explaining it, he realized it was going to come out as a chirp and he started to smile.

He didn't need it that way. I can understand the debate. I can see you doing it, though, because you're such a long hitter. No, I mean, to Riggs's last point, if we're playing any match for money, I want to push it back almost as far as I can go because the best part of my game is hitting a long iron. And so that's like, and I also, yeah, I just like. So to the Augusta point, I really like hitting like a four or five on. Like I like trying to do that more than I like hitting, you know, 7, 8, 9 iron for whatever reason. So playing it from a deeper distance is going to give me a better chance to enjoy, like, those fun, long shots where you smack it.

So that's another reason that I would like to play it from deep. But again, whatever the group's playing. I get the argument of, like, wanting to be able to like, if you make, if you make Bertie on 13 or something, then you can always be like, yeah, I've played the exact same hole that they play. And I made birdie. Whereas, like, you're playing from 6,300 yards. there's always the caveat of like, well, we played it from fucking 1,200 yards closer that, like, is always going to be in your brain that maybe you didn't get the same experience or this, that you want to like, you know, even on the 11th hole that's like fucking 525 yards

or however long that hole is now, like, you want to hit a good drive and then see how far out you are compared to like where the pros are. If you're like 280 and they're fucking, you know, they're like, tigers got like 160 and one day you're like, holy shit. So I can understand that, but I do think, like, and I've come around on that, right? Like, there was always probably a phase for all of us where, like, you wanted to be like, yeah, let's like tip it out and see what it's really like for the, but like as you play more golf, you learn.

They're like, no, that's fucking dumb. And you want to have the experience that, like, you want to be able to hit the same kind of shots. And, like, if I play a course with 7,600 yards, I'm never going to have the temptation to go for a par five and two because I just don't hit it far enough to, like, get to any of those holes in things. Not like me on eight at Pebble Beach. I don't know how much further back the pros tee off from where eight, but it seemed like we were as far back as possible. I mean, there's not much more room on the AT box from where we were, right? I couldn't hear you on.

On the AT box, you can't go much further back than that. Maybe you could go back up to six green areas. He heard every word I said. Oh, he did. But it basically was, I mean, it was. Damn it. He heard.

But, yeah, you know, for you guys, for you guys, it did feel good to be able to play a whole exactly the, way the pros did and make a score that, you know, even pros would take on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a felt good. It did. No, it did. I would also, Augusta, the 18th T-box, I would love to hit one from back there.

Just through that gauntlet and just, I mean, I would hit every branch possible. I probably had 10 yards because it just go dead right into the tree. Spee did that when he was like, oh my God. Two years ago. And speed was like, what off the lead? Yeah. That's Patrick Reed. And he hit, I mean, he had.

I mean, he had a three wood into the green because he hit the left trees. How does that not happen more often? Like, that shoot looks like it's four yards wide. It's a crazy shoot. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, Steve hit that branch. It went straight down and he legit had a fucking three wood into the green.

I'm like, couldn't get there, I think. He was like, he was like three, ten out. He fucking hit the rain. That would be like if you were ever the psychopath that played by yourself and your buddies are waiting for you on every green because you're playing the tips, everybody's playing the members tease. and you're on the 18th and you just push one, it takes you like four shots to get even up to the right T-box.

On the 18th, you're like, dude, F this guy, this is awful. How mental is that T-box, so because if you're a professional golfer or even a golfer to the level where you can make it to the 18th T-box at Augusta, you should be able to, the path of your ball from the T-box to the front of the fairway should be able to find a window of 40 yards left or right, right? Like, these guys shoot darts with their club. Like, there's no problem there. but you do see guys like speed and stuff.

I mean, when you stand up there, it probably looks like you're trying to get it through a pinhole. And like for us, right? Like we don't have that much confidence. So like any little, any inkling of confidence that like the course sucks out of you means that like it's exponentially magnified into your swing. Like the minute that I have like any tentativeness in my swing,

it's like the ball could go fucking anywhere, especially outside of a 30-yard window. And my point too is like, what if they, what if you played in like a simulator or like a fake world in which like the trees were lined on the 18th T box the way they are at Augusta National and all of a sudden like they just disappeared them and there's just kind of like a line on the grass how often you would hit it in between those lines like perfectly without seeing the trees and then when they put the trees back up how different your T-box your T-shots would be I bet you hit like eight out of ten through the tree line no problem if there's no trees there if they just threw if they drew if you went to a driving range and drew a red line and you went to a red line and you where the trees are out into the driver range. I bet you keep it in there. Yeah.

Instead of it has to stay in, eight out of ten times, nine at ten times. I agree with that. Yeah. We had one of the front of the galleries we debated one time in the show. It's been a couple of years. Was like, if you had to make a five or better on the 18 team from the tips. And like, if you did it, you get a billion dollars. If you don't, they shoot you in the head on the spot.

Would you like take that deal? No. It's got to be a seven. It could be a seven. And even then, I can't risk the shot in that. No, I just, I just bit my lip. This podcast is just no joke. I would say, yeah, it's tough life.

What if it was six? What if it was six? Six billion dollars are shot instantly in the head. Immediately, man. What if you shank of all? There's a green jacket with a pistol, and he's standing right next to the flag as you're like putting out. You had shot by Fred Ridley right in this man.

It could be any. everybody. Let's not put a name to it. Yeah, you're right. My answer, and it's a six or a five, are we going on a phone now? We all agree nobody's doing it for a five, right? Six. Six.

Six and a half. From the tips. From the tips. No. Nope. No. Dude, the thing is, you need a 10, I may not do it. The T shot alone is where you just, oh, nope.

Imagine how nervous you would be? Seven I would do it. Seven I could get home. I don't think you would. I think that'd be crazy. To just get shot in the head. I mean, how nervous you would be?

You're standing on that T, being like, if I hit this in the trees, I'm dead. Seven. Could I make a seven? Yeah, we'd have to start at nine for me and where I'd even begin to talk about it, but even that.

That's good. Just say you hit the tree, you punch out. Now you're like behind the green and three. You're chipping on for four. Now you're putting five with your putting on that green. Like, what if you just leave it short? Now of a sudden you got like a four footer for six.

Yeah, No, but we, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you can push seven, though, it's seven and a half. No, it's six and a half. Six and a half. Oh, yeah. So no chance, bro. No chance.

So, let's just, so one, two, punch out. Yeah, I have to, yeah. I either have to hit a good drive or I've got to hit a good third shot. I need one of those. Or, like, yeah, right, because, like, you could have, imagine you're up near the green and three, and then you just chunk or blade a wedge? Anything. It's over.

It's over. It's done. I would hit my drive and instantly sprint away. Just like, oh, just run. Not even finish the fucking hole. Oh, man. What was the one we always? I want to know what people's number are where they're like, yeah, I'll do that.

But like seven. No joke, a nine. I need to be able to make a quad. Okay. My number would probably be. Nine is a Cinco or whatever. Dude, I would say probably. where I would really realistically do it,

I would probably say an eight and a half. Okay. So you got to make an eight. You got to make an eight on the hall. You got to make an eight. Yeah, that's what I would do, I think. I think I could make an eight. And then you said quad.

So those are two. Well, I mean, you want to be, I have to, well, if I, yeah, basically eight and a half. I have to be below a nine. Like, I'm envisioning, man. Like, I'm up. Imagine I hit my third shot. Like, I hit a bad drive.

I hit it up there. short and then I hit like a bad wedge or approach shot with a short ironed like a bunker. Yeah. Then I like scull it over the green. Right. Like I need a lot of shots. Yeah, because at one point at a certain point. And then I have to deal with Augustus greens.

What? Right. You're always going to be thinking about how if I fuck this up, I'm going to get shot in the head. But as you proceed to blade wedges and hit horrible shots, you're going to be like, oh my God, now I'm getting even closer to getting shot in the head. Every chunk the guy like puts another bullet in the gun and he's like polishing it up. And then, like, as you're walking up, as you're walking up to your put, he just, like, takes the safety off and, like, clucks it clicks it back. And you're just like, holy.

Yeah, he progressed. Like, at first, you don't see the gun. When you're on the T-box, you don't see the gun. And then every shot, he starts to slowly bring it out. And then as you're putting, he's basically got it to your head. It's a colonial, like, like, an old-school Civil War musket. And, like, he's just fucking putting in the powder, like, slowly just. you also like you almost have to build in an extra stroke and a half for the fact that like any put outside of a foot and a half you know you're not making it you got to make it like you have to make the pot that's what i mean because if you're that nervous there's zero chance you can make that put so you need to like you need to build in an extra stroke so that anything inside of 10 feet you can lag and then tap in so here's here here's here's a question i would not take this you've got a two and a half footer you lie seven

do you take the bet at that point? Got to make an eight or a better. So you have to make the two footer, billion dollars or shot in the head do you take the two footer? No, no chance. No, can't. Can it, bro.

You can't. It just comes down to percentages, right? Right, right. I'm going to make that probably, I want to say 70, 60. Although if you want to get, I don't know if this is dark or not, like it's dark.

We're talking about getting shot in the head on the 18th green at August. If you make it, you have a billion dollars, Right. Right. Life's good. If you don't make it, it's over.

It's not even over. It's just like silent. I don't even know. It's just silence. Right. That's like it's the risk of playing Russian roulette. Like you either win or you don't even lose. Or nothing happens.

You don't lose. In theory, right? Like in, um. Trent's been saying that sentence a lot. I wouldn't say you don't want to start. I may need to come over to your house and you need to have a talk because. No, I'm just saying like. He's like, nothing bad happens if you get shot in the head.

You're just. nothingness. I mean, if you say you don't lose. Like, as a human being, how can you utter the word? That is literally,

on the head, you don't lose. That is quite literally, that is the most losing you can lose. The only goal, yeah, it is true. The only goal as a human is to not die.

Right. But you don't know that you lost. You just, you're down on both your knees and somebody puts a revolver to your skull. You're telling me, I think I'm winning. Right before.

Exactly. I think I've won. You're going to know for a couple seconds that you lost. No, it doesn't work like that. As you're putting, the person has the pistol like an inch away from your forehead. Oh, my God. I'm never taking that two-footer. You told me I stand over a two-footer.

Now you're talking me into it. Yeah, I'm saying the literally the fraction of a second that it's confirmed that that putt's not going in. Like, he's pulling the trigger. It's either I have a billion dollars or I don't have to pay rent. more. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Tread. Jesus. Christ. Lurch, I don't know if you, I don't think you were on the podcast when we first did the original, how many putts would you take from five feet? Each one is a million dollars, but each one you miss is a year in jail. I was like, I was like $10 billion. I was on for that. Because then I was out in, yeah,

my buddy and I did just like jokingly did that playing out in California. How many did you make? Out of five, I think I made two. He made four. Oh, my God. Three years in jail. Yeah. You made two?

I think two. You suck. That's not great. I missed a couple. I'm just thinking of the guy having the revolver to my head. And like, then I thought of. Just clicks it.

Yes, exactly. And I'm thinking of, you know those images that they put on the screen where like the ball's in or out of the make or miss range? You know what I mean? It gives you that funnel. As soon as the ball leaves that funnel, just... I like to think that he shoots you before you even putt because he knows what's going to happen. He's so frozen. Sorry, he's so frozen.

Boy, is he... Yeah, look, he looks... He looks... No, he looks completely normal. What? I'm just kidding. I've taken a couple pictures of it. Yeah, no, you can't... Legitimately, you can't take that, Matt, that Augusta deal.

What's your dog? You got it? Realistically, 11. 11. Yeah, all right. Because it's really that number is like, I'm, I think 85% I'm going to make that number. That's like when you're, you know, I think for an eight, I think I'll make an eight or better. You're talking under normal circumstances?

Yes. Nick Foles to the Bears? Yeah. Now we're, we're breaking football news on four. I've got to be honest, I've been sitting around for too long. I've been sitting on this couch in a weird awkward position because I'm trying to talk into the microphone. It's all my laptop. So I've been hunched over.

My back hurts. I really haven't eaten a full meal. I ate chili this morning that my mom, uh, frozen gave to me. And I had chili and sour cream. Yeah, it was nice. It was good. But I mean, that was the best fucking breakfast I've ever had. Um, you know, I'm trying to get home.

I'm looking at Uber's. They're $200 because people aren't trying to leave their house. It's nuts. Uh, I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should go home and just walk around. around my house and like start touching bananas and shit like is that or just staying I mean like just normal like everyday recief I want to oh I just go home to touching bananas I'm like picture myself walking through the kitchen bag oh how's it going like grabbing a banana and like going over to the

water cooler and like just like grabbing a water and like I don't know like doing normal shit in my house I'm leaning towards just hunkering down in New York City well you wouldn't fly back that's the thing. You're not you would, did you ever think about that? Yeah, for sure. Really? I mean, these guys are flying to Charleston. He's flying to Pinehurst. Like, people are doing it. And if you're going to do it, the time to do it is now, because who knows what they're going to do with domestic travel going forward. I just don't want to get other people sick. It's the thing.

We could very easily be fucking carrying it. No, 100%. That's why I decided against it ultimately because my parents, they're pretty old. They're old now. So if I have it and I don't have symptoms, and I go give Papa Trent a hug and then it could be over. I don't want that on my conscience. Yeah. No, I hear you. I think Riggs is the internet just disconnected.

I don't think he's ever coming back. No, he's not. Let's leave this time to talk behind his back real quick because I'd like to do that. Whenever people... So you think he was the hard out? Oh, here he comes. Oh, there he comes. We think he was the hard out?

Damn. Well, we were just about to talk behind Riggs's back, and now he can't because he is back in the room. Riggs is smiling and smirking because I often, I often use that time when people are out of the room or maybe they disconnect from the podcast that I can say what's on my mind, but I'm not going to now. I honestly didn't know what I was going to say. I was just going to fly off the handle.

I had nothing prepared. I had nothing prepared. I don't know. My mind is empty. I think you were going to go to the T-box thing. I think you were going to go to the hard mode move and go on there. You said that you're probably, I would say that you're up there for the biggest talk behind people's back guy of all time.

In the world. Yeah. Yeah. I think you just love talking behind people's balls. For sure, because here's the thing. And I'll always admit this. I am not strong enough in my mind or my body to speak shit to anyone to their face. I will get beat up.

I will get beaten in an argument. I'll do whatever. I thrive when you are not there. And I can say all the things that I want to say about you because you can't reciprocate. You can't get in my face. you can't do anything about it. I get to just do whatever I want. I get to dance all over your body.

If you were a politician, the only way you would get into office is if you ran unopposed. Dude, if I was in a debate, I would debate the person, he'd leave. And I'd be like, oh, by the way, that fucking guy, as he's shaking hands behind the stage,

as the credits are rolling on, I'd fucking rip into him real quick. By the way, that guy hates his family and he's a fucking douchebag. And it's just like, just fucking rattle. off and then the show ends and I'm just like I win that fucking debate. I'm the president now.

It's good to be self-aware about that because you are. I talk a ton of shit. I've always talked shit. I went in high school, middle school. I used to say a ton of shit. And then people would be like, well, why are you talking so much shit? I could beat this shit out of you. I'm like, I don't know, man.

It's just, I don't know. I'm just my idea. Well, I'm glad I'm back then. Jesus. One of your all-time stories, maybe there's the first time talking fucking shit in a long time is when who Roscoe Johnson was behind you. and you started tapping some kid on the forehead. Oh, yeah.

Well, we got into a little thing and one guy was behind, yeah. Giving shit the bars out. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was great. So huge, uh, big time shit talker.

Big time shit talker. All right, boys. Well, yeah. I imagine the world will be even different, more different of a place next time we do the podcast. That's right. Yeah. Changing. It's going to be.

I think I want to go. I think I want to go home. There's no. sense and sitting in a fucking room right now. I sit in a room back home and just like be not in the city. I actually think there might be a better chance of you just dying and just like going into complete mush if you stay in your apartment rather than risking it and going home. If you stay in.

I think you'll just melt into the floor. Like your bones will just turn into soup and then you'll just die eventually. My health is more, I have a better chance of being healthy by going out into the unsafe areas than staying in this safe quarantine department right now because taking 300 steps in a day will literally my heart will just slowly stop beating and it's just going to just like it'll just turn into a murmur and then just stop and i'll just be asleep just fucking sitting there with my headset on my fucking dick out just playing fucking just playing a fortnight being like oh and just dead they come and check my pulse like he hasn't breathe he hasn't taken a breath in two days he hasn't

walked, his blood flow was just solid. Oh, that's great. Everyone stay safe. I hope I love everyone in the podcast. I love everyone listening. I hope everyone gets through this. We will talk to you guys on Tuesday. It's actually going to be Monday. We'll talk about it. I've got to remember to bring all this shit home.

I remember we're doing this podcast from home forever, right? Like we're never going back to the office. I think forever. I think I want to try and hit a driving range on Friday, too, just try and get some swings in. Let's try to play some golf this weekend. Get that body moving. Get that body moving.

It just like Greg said, there's nothing wrong if you're by yourself. And not everyone should do that because if the whole world thinks about fucking going out and doing that, then we're all not going to be separated. And then there goes to fucking kaboom. But, you know, if you find little places and little areas to go to, I think you need to get fresh air. Big time.

No, I agree. I think it's, I mean, I think golf's like the best activity you can do right now if you do it with some certain, you know, cautions. great all right boys great great week great weekend be safe

try not to go too stir crazy and that's it hit it hard hit it hard hit it hard hit hard