Founder's Story - From a $60 Million Exit to Helping Thousands of Women | Ep. 32 with Shelley Zalis

Episode Date: August 15, 2020

Today's episode is sponsored by USUAL WINES. Use code: KATEHANCOCK for $8 dollars off your first order. Shelley Zalis, CEO, The Female Quotient is known as the “chief troublemaker,” a pioneer for online research, movement leader, and champion of gender... --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ibhshow/supportOur Sponsors:* Check out PrizePicks and use my code FOUNDERS for a great deal: www.prizepicks.com* Check out Rosetta Stone and use my code TODAY for a great deal: www.rosettastone.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to Inspired by Her, the podcast that will give you the inspiration, motivation, and tips for success from some of the top executives, CEOs, and influencers from around the globe. With your host, serial entrepreneur, and named one of the most influential Filipina in the world, Kate Hancock. Today's episode is sponsored by Usual Wines. I would love to drink more wine, but I'm worried about the sugar content. That is why I really love this wine. But don't grapes contain sugar? To clarify, all Usual Wines are produced using natural, sustainable grapes harvested every fall. These grapes are picked at optimal ripeness to ensure all sugar will be fermented completely

until the wines are dry with no residual sugar. I do love the fact that it is single serve. I waste so much wine because I can't finish it in one sitting. Go check your first glass on us. And we are live. Hi, everyone. This is Kate. And today I have a wonderful guest, Shelly Zales. Hi, Shelly. Hey, how are you, Kate? Excited to be with you here live. Yes. So everyone, Shelly is known as the chief troublemaker, is a pioneer of online research, a movement leader, and champion of gender equality. She's also a founder of SeeHer. She's done a lot of things. A movement led by the Association of National Advertisers to increase the accurate portrayal of women and girls in advertising and media. Now, Shelly has also been awarded the Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award, which is

that is the hardest award, Shelly, and the Global Marketing Leadership Award. So ARF, Great Minds, Innovation Award, AWNY, Game Changer Award, and the Matrix Award. Wow. My greatest accomplishment, though, is my three beautiful poo-poo-poo children that are 23, 25, and 28. And my incredible husband who just supports me through all my crazy, weird, zig-zag moments, which are quite a few. And you just mentioned that they're traveling to Miami, right? They today, believe it or not, my 28 year old son named Alex is marrying the most beautiful woman. Her name is Adina. And today was supposed to be their wedding day in Israel. They were getting married in Israel, because it's where my father is buried. So they wanted to honor my father. And of course, with COVID, we've had to postpone TBD.

And they've really embraced it. Listen, it's really hard with how we all have to pivot in this moment of uncertainty and unprecedented moments where there is no textbook, no rule book for where we are and where we're going. You just got to embrace life, live in the moment and know that there's always this silver lining. And so we were laughing because May in Israel is usually the most beautiful time climate wise. And this week, which has never happened before, they are having this incredible heat wave where the weather's normally 70, 75. In Israel, it's now 100 to 105.

So I said to the kids, see, aren't you glad that you didn't get married in Israel today? Because it would have been unbearable climate. So you know what? You got to always look for the glass half full instead of the glass half empty. So who knew? Absolutely. Yeah, I could just imagine being a wedding gown in 110. Right? Yeah. You know, so, you know, there's, there's always a reason, right? You know, there is always a reason. And, you know, when one door closes, a new one

opens. And, you know, we talk a lot about this moment of social distancing. I think we're physically distancing, but more socially connected than ever before. And a lot of the experiences that we are going through right now, you know, I hope that we don't go back to normal or people talk about the new normal. I'd love to start thinking about how we're going to create a better normal, how we're going to create a more equitable normal and start taking advantage of all of these moments that we're experiencing now that are goodies. Like let's keep the goodies. Let's get rid of the junk in the trunk from the past and just close that door and open a new one of opportunity across the board

and not be afraid of that. You know, I think this is a really powerful pause moment to, you know, not think about what we're going to do, the to-do list, but really the to-be list, you know, who do we want to be as we emerge into, you know, our next chapter into our future. I think it's such an exciting moment for all of us. Absolutely. Now, Shelly, can you tell me what was your journey like to get where you are? Oh my goodness. So, you know, I really did not have a predefined journey. And a lot of people said, well, how did you know what you wanted to do or who you wanted to be or, you know, what kind of company? And I said, you know what?

I've never known where I was going. The best experience is you will know what you don't want. The more things you do, you'll be able to know what you don't. And then you land on what you don't want the more things you do You'll be able to know what you don't and then you land on what you do want I don't talk about the cognitive or the rational that you could talk yourself in or out of something because then you make some of The wrong choices. I always I call them heartbeat moments. I really finally understood although your heart Female intuition it's when you go where you feel right I really finally understood, follow your heart, female intuition. It's when you go where you feel right, then you know in that moment, that's where you belong. And I always say, when you love what you do, it's called passion.

When you don't, it's called stress. So I have always gone for the purpose and passion, not for necessarily the money. Because when you do follow the money, you might make the wrong choices in life. You might not be satisfied. You might not feel fulfilled. You might not be on that journey that really feels rewarding or that you're going to look back in life and say, wow, I'm so proud of myself of what I've done. And every step along my journey, whether it was good or bad, they were all learning experiences and helped shape who I am today as a leader, helped shape the work that I am doing today because I've wanted to give back to so many women what I wish

I had rising the ranks. And I have a no regret policy. I never want to look back in life and say, should have, would have, could have. I want to think forward and then live in that moment and make those decisions. And so my whole career, I would say, will I feel bad about that decision that I made? Will I feel bad that I went on a business trip and missed my kids play? And if the answer is yes, then I didn't do it. And if the answer was no, I did. And no one later in life, especially in the workplace, is going to remember that meeting that you missed, that trip you didn't take. But I can guarantee you, your kids or whoever you were making that choice for will remember those moments. And those were priceless moments.

So my journey has been crazy. I started in market research that really was, and I fell into that by accident. I mean, all of my moves were by accident. I just kept propelling myself to making those decisions. But I started in market research at a very tiny little company of five people, four women. And our boss was a guy named Baldev Videra, Dave Videra from India, who wore wallabies, which you probably don't even know what those are, and corduroy pants and red socks, the red socks for good luck. And he taught me so many things in life that I will never forget about the power of relationships, how everyone's voice matters. We had a brilliant idea jar that when you had a brilliant idea, whether someone else thought it was brilliant

or not, you put it in this jar and every night before we closed down the office, we would sit around in a circle and pull out the ideas and have a glass of wine and talk about them. And it was so inspiring. And so he taught me so many important life lessons about relationships. And then I moved to a bigger company called ASI. And I learned the power of team, you know, that we all need to cover each other, especially when I started, you know, having children and, and I would negotiate, you know, a company is not going to say, all right, take this moment off or don't. But I realized that we all have a life, whether we have children or not, everyone has priorities.

And so if you become interchangeable and share skills with, you know, your coworkers, that is a great thing. You know, even if you're making them smarter, I found that to be the best way to share job responsibilities. I'd say, I got to go to my kid's softball game, but I'll cover you tomorrow with your client, you know, so that you can go on a date or, you know, whatever. And so I grew a lot in that part of my life. And I also started realizing when I went to a bigger company, that the only way to define myself was to believe in me, and that my differences were my greatest strength, and I shouldn't hide them and conform. I mean, that's when I started following my greatest strength and I shouldn't hide them and conform. I mean, that's when I started following my heart and I pioneered online research in a day and age

where only wealthy old men with broadband were online. And of course, then I left to build my own company. And then that was a whole amazing concept. I was the first in the world to pioneer online research. So I am the mother of that invention. Now online is the new normal for research. And then from there, I sold my company and stayed five years at a global organization. You know, so my company was doing about 60 million of profit revenue with 250 employees in six cities. I sold to a company doing $2.6 billion of revenue operating in 83 countries, 16,000 employees. So lots of life lessons from that chapter of my life. And then five years ago, I left and I started my company, The Female Quotient, all about advancing women and advancing equality in the workplace. And that is where I am today.

I love it. I love, I love that. Now, Shelly, what was this city or town you grew up in like? So I was born in San Francisco, lived in Germany for a couple of years. My father was a cardiologist in the army. So I was an army brat. So I lived on a San Francisco base and in a base in Germany. And then we moved to Los Angeles when I was maybe six years old. So really grew up in Los Angeles and then went to school in New York.

I went to Barnard. And so I've had, you know, great experiences. Now I live on United Airlines. I'm a 3 million miler and I'm, you know, a woman of the world. I really do pop in and out of countries helping women all over the world. So it's been, you know, quite an amazing journey. But Los Angeles, I love living in Los Angeles. I'm one of four girls. So my parents raised four daughters and, you know, all of my sisters were great friends. We compliment each other. People ask my parents all the time, how did you raise four daughters that weren't, you know, competitive with each other? I mean, it really was a great childhood for me. And my parents really taught me, A, that you, you know, confidence, I coined the phrase confidence is beautiful, that I believe in yourself, if you want others to

believe in you. And also to value, you know, one who is wealthy is one who's happy with what she has. And so we've never defined ourselves with material value. Actually, if you ask people in my family what I do for a living, they probably wouldn't even know because that never defined me either. It was about giving back, paying it forward, and building community and living in a community. So I was raised in a neighborhood where we had a great community, you know, helping each other, supporting one another. And I think that really was, you know, some of the most important life lessons that I didn't even know I was learning, I was experiencing them. And then my mother, who is 83, she is, she's like a 60 year old. She's amazing, lives on my block. She was the first, she worked for Pete Wilson, the former governor

of the state of California. And she started the first conference for women in Los Angeles, in Long Beach. And it was only about four years ago, where now here I am empowering women, advancing women, bringing visibility to the unsung and, and having women realize that their invisible strengths are actually the greatest qualities of leadership today. I was giving a speech to thousands. I'm like, Oh my God, my mother created the first conference for women in the state of California. And here I am doing these pop-up lounges, you know, all over the world. And I never really thought about that. And I called my mom and I said, mom, thank you for this incredible inspiration

that was subliminal. And all of a sudden, you know, I hear myself speaking sometimes, you know, because I can't when I'm in the moment. But if someone passes me a video that I did, I never watched my own videos. I'm like, wow, I am my mother's daughter, you know, an apple definitely does not fall far from the tree. So I, she is really such an inspirational role model. And that unconditional love from both of my parents. My father passed a couple of years ago, but invaluable. I could not have asked for really a better childhood, which has propelled me to really wanting to be that same kind of parent to my children, the same kind of partner with my husband and really living life in the

moment. You know, my father always said that if they left an inheritance of money for all of their children, we didn't live life. And so we would do family trips every other year. We chased total solar eclipses and it, we're now a family of like 22 traveling all over the world. And that connection between all of us, I think, is what keeps us so connected as a family. Wow. Now, what is the name of the conference that your mom created? That's amazing. It was the Governor's Conference for Women. I think that's what it was called. Yeah. And I mean, Maria Shriver took it over after a few years. And I, you know, but it was a she had

5000 women in Long Beach coming. And I remember thinking to myself, I must have been 30 years old now I'm 58. I have to look up what year that was. I don't know. But I showed up at this. I didn't know what it was. I was just going to support my mother. I was not, you know, in the female space. I was, you know, all these speakers and all these women asking questions and, and everyone had a box lunch and you had different tracks to choose. And I mean, it blew my mind. And it wasn't until later that I really appreciated that. And I loved the vulnerability and the the the authenticity of the the speakers and the the audience interaction so who knew that yeah and that's and that's what everyone's doing right now and your mom is like amazing she started that very first conference for women. That's amazing. Yeah, she's a badass. My mom's a badass.

Wow. Wow. Now, what kind of kid are you in high school, Shelly? You know, it's so funny because I did not know people. I did have most likely to secede, which is strange because I didn't even know that people felt that way about me. I actually thought once I got married, I would be a stay-at-home mom and raise my children and be PTA president and do good in the world, but not, you know, in a business sense. Because my mother, as we were growing up, was a mom. She was involved in a lot of foundations and, you know, stuff like that. But I really had no idea. And so I saw my yearbook and I started laughing because

I thought that was pretty funny. I was very social. You know, I had a lot of amazing friends. I was a tennis player. So I played tennis. So I hung out with a lot of athletes. But I was, you know, a kid that wore, you know, 501 Levi's and tennis shoes and, and love to live life. I was not a textbook kind of girl. I did not like studying in high school or in college for that matter. For me, the greatest life lessons, and I went to an Ivy League school. So like I did have to study a little bit, but the courses I did the best in were ones that were more what you learned on the street. You know, I loved meeting people and coming into my dorm and hearing someone play on the piano, like this incredible concert pianist. And I would go and we had mainframe computers, these big computers. We didn't have

these little, you know, laptops or we didn't have cell phones. It was really the social interactions that I feel was my best education that I've ever had. And even in high school, you know, I knew how to get by with what I needed to get good grades. But I was really, you know, more that social person in school, having great, you know, networks of friends. And, you know, when we hung out, you know, I told him 58. So high school was, I graduated from high school in 1979, and college in 1983. So a really long time ago, for us, entertainment was we'd go to our friends' houses and we had like vinyl records. We'd put the record on and play and play the songs and hang out. You know, that was like really fun for us.

You know, so now I look at how we've evolved, you know, across different generations, very different perspective. But, you know, I went to a great high school that had, you know, 1000s of kids, but we, you know, had our groups. But I always felt that, you know, and I was homecoming court. So, you know, I, Mitch Gaylord actually was my date for homecoming. He was the Olympian perfect 10, the gymnast, which is pretty funny, but we were pretty inclusive school. Like, you know, there, of course there's always the popular kids, but I felt that it was just a really happy experience for me in high school. And when I went to, I think I went to my 20 year reunion, I think I missed the 10 year one because I was living in New York. I think I went to my

20 year reunion. And it was so great to see friends that I have not stayed connected with. Sometimes I'll get a message from people, but they all, you know, a lot of them follow what I'm doing. And it just, it just felt good. You know, it didn't matter how many years passed. I mean, that, that bond, that support system, those experiences that we shared translated even to 20 years later, where we were all sharing where we were at, at this stage of life. It was wonderful. That's amazing. Now, Shelly, what is your favorite aspect of being an entrepreneur? You know, I think for me, I have a philosophy,

which is I need to be the first, the second, and the third. When you're an entrepreneur, you build things that are firsts. And you usually, you know, fail. We talk a lot about failure. For me, I embrace all of my failures because they, you know, if you don't try, you don't know. And if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, you're certainly not going to be an innovator. And so, you know, for me, the first is always the one that comes up with this crazy idea, but there's no ecosystem. There's no funding. No one thinks you're right because you're a little too ahead of the curve. The second is the copycat. They copy everything you've done, but they don't really know what's under the hood. The third is the sweeper. They

win. They get the money. They get to pick up where you left off and they get to go. So for me as an entrepreneur, I have always said to myself, I need to be the first, the second, and the third because no one is going to beat me at my own game. And so that really has always been my philosophy. Being an entrepreneur, it's scary, you know, because you're building, you're putting yourself out there, you're trying new things. But for me, it is so exciting. And had I not have taken that plunge, that leap, I would definitely not have created some of the things that I have created. And being the first is hard, really. It is scary. But I also have realized that

when you, there's always a yes, there's always a solution. You just have to find a way, right? And a lot of people are like, no, no, no. But with every no, there is a yes. You just got to twist it up and find that little niche. So I have found that you got to look for the whole, you know, and the first question when I pioneered on my research, I remember going to Warner Brothers, and I knew nothing about the entertainment industry, because I came from the package good industry. And I said to the head of research at Warner Brothers, are you perfectly satisfied with how you do research today, which was mall intercept. They looked at me and he said, how could anyone be perfectly satisfied, satisfied, but I'm not perfectly that word. Perfect was my whole was the loophole. Wow. And I said to him, I don't know what I'm doing, but let's do it together.

You know, we'll, we'll learn together in full transparency, what works, what doesn't, and, and let's move forward. And the second loophole, they had exclusivity with the person that owned the mall intercept research for movies in the entertainment business. His name was Joe Farrell. May he rest in peace. He passed recently and he, he was the godfather to everyone's, you know, to studio chiefs and, and the client said to me, but we have an exclusive relationship with Joe. I said, let me see the contract. And in the contract, it said, exclusive exclusivity for mall intercept, because that's all they had at the time. And I said, but I'm online. That was a loophole

call, you know, like, so there were all these little loopholes. So the first thing I realized is there's always a solution, you just have to find it. The second thing I realized is we're better together. And, you know, whenever I have that scary moment and it's how the female quotient started, whenever I have a scary moment, what do you do? You call your girlfriends and you say, I want to try this. Will you come with me and pay it forward to other women? And, and that was, you know, what, and that really is my modus operandi today is really there is nothing more important than the power of the pack. A woman alone is power, collectively we have impact. When you're a little nervous about doing something, how do you really eliminate that fear? You go together. And it still might be scary, but it's a lot less scary when you go together and a hell of a lot more fun when you're all together. So Power the Pack really was another really important moment for me as an entrepreneur trying new things. Wow. Now, Shelly, can you name a person who's had tremendous impact on you as a leader? So many, so many people that, you know, I admire

and have inspired me in so many different ways. You know, I created this phrase mentorship in the moment. It's not just about wisdom from the top down or bottom up, it's sharing the learning all around. And you can get bits and bytes of, you know, knowledge from so many different people. I don't think that it's one person that, you know, defines that, you know, those learning moments for me so many. Right now, I have to say it's my pack. It's, you know, the FQ pack. I'm surrounded by the most incredible women supporting one another. Madeline Albright says women that don't support other women deserve a place in hell. We say that women that support other women deserve a place in heaven.

And there are so many incredible women in my life. I just hung up the phone with my girlfriend, Gail Tifford, who's the chief brand officer at WW Weight Watchers. And she just was on Gary V's show, Gary Vaynerchuk's, talking about the power of the pack and how for her, it was this, you know, support system that we've all created collectively that give us all that confidence to bring our best selves to the table, our whole selves to the table, our true selves to the table, our true selves to the table. And, you know, when you are all working together with this shared voice and amplifying each other, realizing our differences are our greatest strength, I mean, magic happens. And, you know, so I have so many amazing

girlfriends that I could talk about individually as my network and women, you know, the best advice comes from women who have been there, done that and can share truth. It's not, as we said, it's not in that textbook that was written a long time ago. It's, it's that living and breathing life lessons that we continuously grow, stretch, learn, but you gotta be open to it. You gotta have, you know, you can't be that defenseman. No, you know, you gotta be able to listen and hear, not just listen.

You gotta process that and, you know, internalize that. So I just wanna thank everyone in, you know, the FQ PAC that every single day challenges me, supports me, has been calling through this moment in time, what can we do to help? And I think that's really what makes the world go around and makes us all so much better. That power of collaboration where we're all in this together

and we know that we are better together when we're sharing. Wow, I love that. I have this tribe, a women tribe, we call it the Women of EO, And we know that we are better together when we're sharing. Wow. I love that. I have this tribe, a women tribe. We call it the Women of EO, the Entrepreneur's Organization. And we are just in communication every second. Anytime we share our issues with no judgment, that's amazing. Everyone's embracing that.

So it's really important. Yeah. Listen, I find it so valuable. That's amazing. Like everyone's embracing that. So it's really important. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, I, I find it so valuable and you'll always have, you know, those women that just want to be in their own zone or, you know, and that's okay. You know, it's not saying it's, it's for everyone, but I have to tell you the love, the light, the support. I mean, it has just, it makes me a better person every single day. Love that. Now, Shelly, what have been the biggest challenges you've had to overcome? I've so many, I've so many. And I didn't even, sometimes I don't even think I knew they were challenges. Like I'm sure I was paid less than most men at my level. So if I went back and asked for what I was worth at the time, I'm sure I could, you know, have a lot of extra cash in my bank account. But they also have been driving forces

for me. And so, I mean, it really all started when I had my first review. I must've been 25, 26 years old. I don't remember. And I, um, maybe I was 27 and I, I walked into my interview, uh, my review and we only had typewriters at the time. And it was my boss. It was a 10 page review and I'm like walking in with confidence. I'm going to get a raise. I'm going to get a promotion. I'm so good. I'm doing so much stuff. You know, I support everyone. I, you know, I do everything I'm supposed to do. I'm a goody two shoes.

And I walk in and sit down and the first three minutes of my hour review were very generically nice. You know, you're nice. You're, you know, a good team a good team, whatever. And then the rest ripped me to shreds. I push people out of their comfort zone. I take too many people to lunch. I don't need a free lunch. I do it because it was about relationship building. I'm supposed to be an order taker, which was not who I am. It was horrible. And I remember like these tears, I'm with this mailbox, these tears coming

down my face. And I remember having two options, one to agree and say, you're so right, you know, I'm going to change or do what I said, which was look at him and say, you are so wrong. You are making the biggest mistake of your life, because I don't know how to be someone that I'm not. And I'm, you know, I'll never forget that moment. And I stayed a little while longer. But then I had another moment in that same company where it was just my time where I thought to myself, well, why am I never right? And why is the way I operate or lead or manage clients not okay? And I just can't be someone that I'm not. I can't fake it consistently. I have to be me. And so there was this moment where I was sitting and talking to

all my bosses, mail, mail, mail, mail, mail. And they were talking about, you know, what they think the innovation strategy was. And I remember saying, well, why don't we migrate research from offline to online? And they said, well, it's not the right time because there's no one online. It's not a representative population. The next week I was on a panel with the chief research officer, Procter Gamble, the largest marketer in the world. And my bosses were all in the front row and I'm whispering with Larry

mock. And I come off the stage and my bosses are all surrounding me. What happened? What happened? I said, I just asked him, when is the right time to come in and talk about online research? And he said, next week. So I guess it's the right time. And my boss is like, oh my God, that is amazing. Joe will go, Paul will go,

Ringo will go, and Star will go. And I'm like, well, what about Shelly? And they're like, well, it's really a boys club, which it was at the time. Like men couldn't even wear earrings in their ear at Proctor at that time. And so we think this is the right group. And I said, well, that's fine. If you're the right group, I will cancel the meeting and you can all wait for the right time to go. And, you know, and that was just this incredible, I call them heartbeat moments. It was a heartbeat moment for me where I asked myself the question, when will I ever be right? And unless I go and create my own company, which was called OTX, online testing exchange, and I create the uncorporate rules, undo all the rules that I hated about that corporate structure, I will never be able to thrive in the workplace and manage having

a family and manage a career. And that was this pivot moment for me where I just said, this is it. And from then on, I just had to follow my heart, follow my intuition, right or wrong. I needed to be consistent and live the life that I wanted to design for myself with a no regret policy. Wow. Now, Shelly, where is that strength coming from? You can't make this shit up.

I didn't have a choice. It was survival of the fittest and I had to survive for me. But I didn't want to just survive. I wanted to thrive. And I wanted to bring, you know, all dimensions of who I am. You know, we think about work life balance, there is no such thing as balance. Life is not 5050. It's not neat. It's messy. You have one life with many dimensions, your career, your family, your community, your friends. And the fifth that we always forget about is ourselves. And you can't always split the pie, you know, five ways with 20% each, you're going to have to accommodate throughout your life stages,

you know, what works and what doesn't. And sometimes I had to combine things. So I, you know, the me time was exercise, My friends, I would just combine it. My friends would all come and we'd work out together or I'd have breakfast with them or, you know, so you just got to mix and match in the moment. Wow. Now, Shili, what advice would you give to an aspiring female entrepreneur? Oh, so many pieces of advice. Failure will lead to some of your greatest successes just don't make stupid mistakes typos and you know those are dumb mistakes big or little it doesn't really matter those are growth moments um so own your mistakes as steps

in your journey don't be afraid to zig or zag as you need to. A lot of us are, you know, so afraid of what's next. The worst thing that can happen is you goof. The best thing that can happen is you evolve and learn. Third, there's always a yes, you just got to find it. And that's, you know, be creative. Fourth, you have a whole network of incredible people out there. Ask. If you don't ask, you'll never know, right? The worst thing that can happen is you'll get a no. The best thing that can happen is you'll get a yes. Mentorship in the moment. Don't look for that one perfect mentor. Perfection is, you know, I think our imperfections are our greatest perfections. Um, just collect knowledge from wherever you can get it and absorb process. And then, you know, find your own, you know,

definition that imposter syndrome. We all have that voice in our head. My girlfriend, Wendy Clark says, just shut that bitch up and move, move on men and women have it. Men just ignore it. And women, it gets amplified and screaming in your head, shut that bitch up. And I think most importantly, and Sarah Jessica Parker says this in one of her movies, trying to be a man is a waste of a woman. Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman. Don't just conform to the masculine, decisive, linear, aggressive, assertive. Embrace your feminine, those soft powers, those invisible powers, nurturing, empathy, compassion, resilience. You are seeing this, especially in COVID moments. These are the strengths that are defining true leadership today. Women on the front line,

countries run by women, they were the first to act. We might not be able to brag about ourselves, but we have no problem bragging about, you know, our girlfriends. So, you know, embrace that. Brag about yourself. Be proud of yourself. You know, that is okay. And celebrate your differences as your greatest strengths. And then, of course, Oscar Wilde says, be yourself because everyone else is taken. And I think that that is just such an important value mechanism. If we all look the same, acted the same, thought the same, we would be unnecessary. And so you have a seat at the table because you are worthy of that. Know your value. And so for all of you

entrepreneurs out there, it's not just about having a great idea because a great idea is not going to have legs in the long run. Have a great idea, but also surround yourself with the right group of people that can take that idea along its journey to turning it into a business. And just because you have a great idea doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with being a great leader. So, you know, you gotta have that skill, learn that skill, build that skill, or surround yourself with complementary pieces so that you can ride the journey through the zigs, the zags, the ups, the downs. And especially in COVID moment, don't just think about cash flow liquidity, but think

about cash flow runway. And my girlfriend, Hope Tate's, you know, taught me that. I think that it is such an important nuance along the way. Wow. A lot of great wisdom there, Sheila. Thank you for sharing. Now, how do you find success? To me, success, and it's what I talked about before, it's what my parents taught me. There's a Jewish expression, he who ha-ashir ha-sameach b'chalko, who is a wealthy one, one who's happy with what she has. And I think, you know, so many people are always wanting more and aspiring, but you know what, love yourself

and where you are. And, you know, I really do believe that for me, success throughout my career, you know, when you love what you do, it's called passion. When you don't, it's just so incredibly important to love what you do. That's success for me and not being so hard on yourself. It's what I talked about in another podcast, this expression, perfect people aren't real, real people aren't perfect, but success is really about internal happiness. And you're going to have good days. You're going to have bad days. But, you know, really, you got to always look at the how do you turn lemons into lemonade? You know, there's always a silver lining. And you've got to make your own bed. No one's going to make it for you. So, you know, I've had tough times and, you know, moments that I kind of just can't do this. But the truth is, yes, you can.

Success is how you define it and what your bar is and what's your threshold. And Tony Robbins taught me something. I got stuck on an airplane with him over 30 years ago. And it was just so, this wisdom, you know, and he drew it on a napkin for me. And I share it all the time. And I actually saw him recently and reminded him of the things he taught me. And he's like, oh, my God, I can't believe it. He says, sometimes we put success or, you know, into one big bucket. You go from here to here. And if you don't get

there, you think you failed and you go backwards. He says, success is like being in a hundred story building. If you're in a building and there's an elevator, you push a hundred, you shoot your way up to the top. But if the elevator is broken, you have to take the step. If you get to the 10th step and it's got, you know, red tape, what are you get to the 10th step and it's got red tape, what are you going to do? Go back or you're going to find a way around it. So success is truly how you define it. And then one day you're going to look back and say, wow, look how far I've come. So don't be so hard on yourself. It's not going to happen overnight. It is a process. It is a step change. And you can navigate your way through it because you control those choices in your life, that intentionality of expectation. Love it. Now,

Shelly, what do you see as your place or purpose in life? Just to be the best that I can be and, and live in truth and, you know, know that some of my mistakes, I'm just human. Um, but, Oh, all right. Let me just get my, Oh, come on. Let me just get my kid. I have to pause for one second. Everyone that's watching on live. Sorry. My son, Alex, I was talking about you and I love you. Call me from the road. Love you guys. Have the best and I I love you call me from the road love you guys have the best time I love you take food for the road oh that's my kid

those are the ones that today was their wedding day so they're going to Santa Barbara to have a little weekend just to enjoy um anyways so you know I I think, I think that it's your value system. And it's, I just, I just live with who I am, because you can't be someone else consistently, right? So I really do think forward of what is legacy for me. And it is about giving back with generosity. It is about paying it forward with kindness. And it is juggling, multitasking on steroids, and just doing the best that you can do and not apologizing. Sorry, not sorry, but this is just who I am.

Love it. Oh my gosh, She Shelly that's a lot of I have to keep on listening to this podcast over and over again write everything all the advice that you've given us now Shelly where can we find you what's your handle so at Shelly's Alice at female quotient we also also have our website, the female quotient.com. You can send me a text 3 1 0 9 9 0 1 8 9 9 LinkedIn. I mean, we're, we're kind of, you'll find me. So if you want to find me, I am here and I will respond. And you know, I think this is what makes the world go around. We all, we're all here for each other.

Yeah. Well, Shelly, thank you so much for your time. Those are great advice. I love all those wisdoms. I can't, you know, I, oh my God, I appreciate your time. And thank you so much. Oh, my greatest pleasure. You're a great interviewer.

I had so much fun with you. No, thank you. I was very nervous knowing what I was going to interview. I was like, you know, I get a little bit nervous. Your lesson, because by the way, I did not sense that at all. So for everyone listening, sometimes you've got to get, you know, you're going to be uncomfortable. You're going to need to be uncomfortable. But the more uncomfortable you get, the more comfortable you become comfortable you become and you know that's just what it is so I gotta say you didn't seem nervous

at all I loved the conversation and you are just you know one of a kind wonderful so you keep being you thank you so much and you keep inspiring all of those around you inspired by you i'm just just listening to you giving me goosebumps thank you so much stay safe stay healthy you thank you bye bye everyone we hope you enjoyed the show don't forget to rate review and subscribe and visit katehancock.com so you don't miss out on the next episode