Founder's Story - Human Behavior Hacker | Ep. 29 with Susan Ibitz Founder of Human Behavior Lab

Episode Date: July 28, 2020

Susan Ibitz is very unique and has unlocked the ability to truly read people. She was ble to do this through research and training. She has focused on unlocking the science behind Human Behavior, Micro-Expression, Body Language, Deception-Detection,... --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ibhshow/supportOur Sponsors:* Check out PrizePicks and use my code FOUNDERS for a great deal: www.prizepicks.com* Check out Rosetta Stone and use my code TODAY for a great deal: www.rosettastone.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to Inspired by Her, the podcast that will give you the inspiration, motivation, and tips for success from some of the top executives, CEOs, and influencers from around the globe. With your host, serial entrepreneur, and named one of the most influential Filipina in the world, Kate Hancock. Today's episode is brought to you by Podcorn. They have been an amazing partner for monetizing our podcast through ads. They have worked with us every step of the way and even help us get our first ad ever on our podcast. It's super exciting. They are very transparent. They allow you the freedom to work directly with the brands, plus find ones that might also be a good fit. We highly recommend any podcaster to sign up today. And we are live. Hi, everyone. This is Kate. And today I have Susan Ibbits. Hi, Susan. Hi, Kate. How are you doing? Thank you for having me.

I'm so excited for you to be here. I'm fascinated by your work. So Susan, everyone, has been hacking people for 27 years. Now she is the only expert to doing the channels of communication like face reading, personality assessment, microexpression, body language, deception detection, statement analysis, forensic, and all different things that are dealing with movement and pattern analysis. Now, she works with the Navy, Harvard, and the Secret Service to use these techniques, And I'm very excited to have you here. Thank you very much. I always, when people read my bio, like, ooh, that person look amazing.

I've never met her. I'm like, oh, wait, my Mimi. They call it imposter syndrome. I always say people who are overachievers work so hard to get to the next step that you never stop and like well maybe I need to stop and smell the roses I work really hard but what happened is as soon as I conquer something I'm going for the next one next one so now then I've been having more exposure like wow it looked like I really conquered what conquered what I wanted to achieve at the time of my life. Good for me.

We need to learn as women to do this. Like, I did well. Good for you. Go for it. Well, Susan, can you tell me your journey, how you get here today? Ooh, failing. I fail. All my dreams crash. All my perfect plan as a planner, as being doing

everything the way I'm supposed to be done didn't work. And I always tell the same story. It's repetitive, but I think it's important to say, because when you have a great family and you have a great support, that can be be sometimes your family is a friend, so you choose in your life that is your family too, or who you married or your parents, whoever. So when I was a kid, we are four brothers and sisters, and my dad believed in quality time, not quantity time. So my quality time with my dad was watching Colombo Marathons.

We didn't call it streaming. Like 30, 40 years ago, we call it marathon. So that's what I did with my dad. We watched the Marathons of Colombo on Sundays. And I always said to my dad, I want to do what this guy does. Like I want to read people. I want to know what they're saying. And I practiced with my brothers and sisters and practiced with people. And I was what this six years old weird kid asking questions. And my parents were called to, even when I was in kindergarten, like something is wrong with your daughter.

And my parents like, no, she's different, but she's okay. And it's good to be different. My parents acknowledged that. Well, my dad was an artist. So I guess that opened the box was especially if I was growing in the United States, I would take in care, I would take in away from social service. Thank God it didn't happen. So when I grew up, I found out that the superpowers called the science of human behavior, and I get so excited and I can study that. So actually ended up graduating two years early from

high school because my teacher didn't want to put out with me anymore. I was annoying. I was reading. I took a year sabbatical. I decided to take a year sabbatical when I was 15 years old because I was born in school. So I said, I'm going to take a year to study on my own pace. So when I came back, I was on the university level. So they allowed me to take the test. I was out of high school at the age of 16 when you're supposed to be at the age of 18. I went to college and that's when reality hit. I failed in absolutely every of the matters, subject matter that I picked when I was studying psychology. My idea was to do a master, a PhD, I'm going to be the badass FBI profiler. And one of my teachers says, I think that you have a problem. All your papers are right by five years old and it's not a correlation between who you are and what you

write. And I found out after a week of tests that I'm highly, highly dyslexic. But because in the other hand, my IQ is higher than normal. When I talk, when I need to learn things, the incorporation of the thing take me longer, but I can't remember even the chapter and the phrase in a book. But when I need to write about it is a disconnection with my dyslexia. So I remember the guy says, well, your career on academic is not going to exist. It's not going to happen. And I was 16 and heartbroken. So I came back home crying and my dad says, what's going on? Like, I'm not going to be able to do it and explain what happened. And I ran to my room to cry. And my dad, I remember my dad coming like six, two tall Italian guy like guy like okay when you start whining and men up i wait waiting for you in the

studio like but dad i don't care cry whatever you need to cry man up and see you in the studio and he said in the studio like okay dad what i need to do like you know honey some people get to paris flying and other people take a train and look like you're going to be swimming. So start learning to swim and float. So I took six months and like, how am I going to do this? How am I going to get to the same point? Like I'm never going to, the FBI is never going to take me. So I started researching every person who teach what I wanted to learn. And for the last 20 years, I have the pleasure to study with

every person who invented what is called human behavior today, from Poligman International in London, from Hoste Negotiator, from CIA interrogation to military Israeli interrogation and statement analysis to body language in Europe. So whatever you can imagine, I study from everyone. The only person I could study with, and I really, really regret it because I didn't feel I was ready when he was teaching, was Robert Kirshner. He wrote the book, Whoever Fought With Monsters. Actually, Manhunt, the miniseries on Netflix is based on him. He's not only the person who portrayed the nickname serial killer. We know the word serial

killer based on him. He was the one who invented the behavioral unit and the FBI. He died in 2011 and is the only person that I didn't have the chance to meet and it's my only regret if I can have 24 hours with someone. I always do this question when I interview someone. If you can have 24 hours with anyone on the world, who would it be? If you can have a matrix connected to your brain, who that person is going to be? In my case, it's going to be Robert Kirshner. So I know by memory all his book and he was my hero. He created something that didn't exist. People didn't believe on it. And I've been following

people who nobody believe on it. Henry Ford never went to college and he invented the assembly line. Coco Chanel never went to college. Her first dress was show up when she was 40. So I started following and reading about people who conquer things when everybody told you, you know, cannot do it. When I was 16, they told me you're disabled. You have two options, go to work to McDonald's or get a good husband. It's not going to happen. Here I am 48, 28 years later, doing what I love. So failing was the best experience because I had my nose on the PIM and so many times bleeding. Then I learned how to land it easily. Wow, that's amazing.

Now, Susan, how do you hack a human behavior? Can you give me an example? Okay, simple. I work with lawyers, host negotiators and different professions and sales reps. For example, people say, oh, you need to know body language and microexpressions. How blind people communicate, how you do it on the phone, how you do it on an email. I cannot read your body language and microexpression. Now we got in this new era with body language and microexpression become crucial because everything happened in email and we spend more time teaching people how to manage their own body, doing the background and how to be camera ready in the last three months than we ever done in 20 years.

But if people need it, it's needed. People need to read it. So first of all, you need to pay attention to your face. You need to rate the face of the person that you're talking to. The size of the ears determine how you intake information. You intake information on the audit way or you can hear with your eyes. If you're visual and I show you too many images, you're going to get overloaded so you need to balance you need to prepare your presentation and your demo expecting an auditory person expecting a visual person or expecting someone who is kinetic kinetics that need to touch for example I'm visual kinetic I like to fix

things I've been painting my hallway for the last three months and I would be cheaper and simple to hire someone but I want to learn the experience that is my hobby making holes in the walls and fix it and now I love it I've been picking so it's kinetic so that is a way that you need to know how to do a presentation for example I hope you can hear what I'm showing you and you can feel how this product is going to help you. I use Audit, I use Visual, and I use Kinetic. So that's what we teach people who need to get a new customer, need to pitch, pitch a sales pitch, do a demo, or talk to people that are new in your life. You can know that by reading the features in your face.

That is called physiognomy of face reading. It's been among us for 5,000 years. So you can read 235 features in your face. Actually, we have been teaching police, hospitals, and banks how to read faces with a mask. Like how I read my face only with this. Well, I don't need to see anything other than your ears and your eyes and your forehead. Then if I can read those three parts in your face, I can do an easy 30,

between 30 and 35 profile of your personality. I don't need to know anything else. How you intake information, how you process, what is your intelligent level? So you're a mental person of a doer i can measure it here the shape of your eyebrows and the eyelids on your eyes and like there is around 27 features and i can read between those three i don't need anything else to be reading so once i met you and i know how to communicate with you now i need to start measuring your body language how you express if i talk to start measuring your body language, how you express.

If I talk to you by my hands on no show and you don't know what is going on. If I'm talking about private things or you're doing a job interview and I don't see your hands, it's like, what are you doing with your hands? We have this paleo memory in our brain, the same way that we know how to play the piano, even though we don't know our grandparents and we have this ability to play the piano, do the same. We have this pre-chamber memory that if I don't see your hands, I don't know what is going on. So I need to see your hands. I can tell you, I can teach you five things. Microexpression, body language, da, da, da.

Now you're visually understanding what I'm saying. Because if you're a visual person, when I'm talking to you in a video, you don't have any visual aid to use, I can do this. Now, if you're processing information and people-oriented, I need to tell you a story. If you like facts and data, I need to say three to maximum five things. No one, not two. It needs to be three or five. That's how people process information.

If you like to academic studies, you need to show me what is proof that what you're telling is right. So I can see, now I know your face. I know how your body acts. I can determine how you're doing processing information and you're coming forward, you're coming up forward, you're up, down, scrouching. That's the way you've managed.

And after that, when I'm proposing something to you, I can read your microexpression. Your eyebrows are the most important part of microexpression. If it says, oh, and Susan, you know what? This proposal is going to cost you $5,000. And you show fear. It's like I wasn't expecting that price. So like,, you know what? This proposal is going to cost you $5,000. And you show fear. It's like, I wasn't expecting that price. So like, but you know what?

Let me tell you what explained. Let me tell you what it meant. Now, I can hear your words. We do in a class where it's called deception detection when we show some people they doing this. And we says, oh, you know what this person is saying? I love my wife. I love my wife.

Do you think it's true? Yes. And when we put the video, it's like, I never did drugs. I never did drugs. So you need to read the words in order to read the body. But the good news is something called a statement analysis or forensic analysis. That is the way that Una Bomber was catch. I can determine, and everybody who is trained, we can train people. This is not a gift. This is not something that I'm born with. And the reason I always say I'm

dyslexic is like, if I can do it, you can do it. You can determine if somebody's lying in an email, somebody is deceiving you. If I say, Kate, what time do you wake up every morning? Answer to me. Nine. Okay, so you always wake up at nine. If you say, actually around nine, meaning that sometimes you wake up early and sometimes you wake up late. Actually, meaning that is not always happen. Well, depends on what are my husband or my dog. If my husband needs to go to work or my dog needs to go out early.

Depends. Depends is changing. So if you send to a customer a proposal and the customer says they decided to go with another vendor, the key on that is they. We didn't. The person who's writing to you didn't make the decision. So you need to go back and say, okay, they decided, by the way, decision is a thought. It's not an action. It's not that they've gone.

How many times you went on December 31 and says, I decided not to eat more carbs. We are made in you hiding your chocolate bars under your pillow. So decision is not a thought. It's a thought. It's not an action. So they decided to go to another vendor. So you need to come back and say, okay, they decided to go with another vendor. What is your decision?

What is your thought? What do you want? Well, actually, I think that your product is going to be more beneficial since they decided, but the other content is not signed. How we, now you use we, can make this work? Because since you're going to be the person working with the vendor and you don't agree with the other vendor, we can make this work. And we're going from losing ourselves to winning ourselves. So between having 90 days to establish rapport with a customer, you can do it in 90 seconds. What is called is profiling. That's what hostage negotiators do. They have a dude with a gun inside a house and you have 90 seconds to determine how to talk to the person to not even kill themselves or kill everybody inside. That's what we teach civilians. That's what I taught you to do. It's teachable to anyone who have the willingness to

put the effort to learn it. Now, how did you work with a Navy SEAL? What did you teach them? Actually, I didn't work with them. I learned from them. I learned from them because they have a program that it's working with teaching you how to suppress the amygdala and the fear. So Navy SEAL, they do this training with the amygdala and the fear. So Navisil, they do this training with the amygdala is with reaction to fear.

So when you are feared, you make mistakes. Why you make mistakes? Because fear is run, froze, or fight. So if you are in the middle of the war or you have a plan where the Navisil need to be interacting and you are you're gonna make the let react you can be shooting the wrong person uh your fear can block you and when you get blocked you can kill all your baton so your response and responsibility are what happened with other people so when you you have in a military situation, you have someone,

the front line, who is looking for minds and looking for friendly, if the other ones can come. If that person froze, the 20 people coming behind, they're going to get killed. So they have this training in how to manage fear. And fear is one of the things that fear and anger are the two expressions that you find the most in business. So when you as a sales rep, you feel fear or you find your customer feeling fear, you need to know how to do it. That's what I'm saying is like, I'm a badass. No, because what I do is from what I learned from it. I learned from the best to make it doable so everybody can understand it. So I bring the dark side to the human side because I study with everybody who have developed the program.

So only to be clear, I study from them. I follow the studies, how they work with the amygdala, fear, and how we manage. And believe me, after you're going to know and realize how is the training they do. Oh my God. I have a new respect for that people. Whoa. Amazing. I don't know if I could ever go to the first day of training.

They do like hardcore. Yeah. I remember I met this guy, Joko. He was, he wrote a book and like, I could just imagine the intense training that they do now Susan how do you do this now with a company with a social distancing and like we talk about masks how do you interview via zoom and how do you read human behavior just doing this the only thing that pits me off is i cannot see your feet yeah fro used to say it on 1934 that you can lie with your words with your face with your body but your feet are going to give you away it's the only thing you cannot read one of the reasons that i teach people were how how they need to face on the camera if you see as soon as we get online

everything was like pre-done it's pre-done I have illumination from the lower I illumination from the top not too much so you can see my expression in my face so you can see if I can see your expression I can see your hands I can trust you you. So we have, we move online three years ago. So when everybody was running like chicken without head, I'm like, Hey, wait, wait, we haven't been doing this for three years. Our biggest customers are in Europe and I have been in Europe for two years. So it says, if we have done it for two years, teaching this hardcore, I can teach your sales rep. I can teach your people how to move online. Actually, Twitter says there, nobody's going to come back to work from the offices.

Facebook, Google, Instagram, and Slack says nobody's going to go back to work until January 21. So this is not two weeks. This is for some people is going to be permanent. 75% of the people is not coming back to work in office. So what we have been teaching people is, first of all, the most important thing is the content what you're saying. That's important if you look hot, but you're not saying something that makes sense, it's not going to happen. I see a bunch of people trying, showing their boobs and like how sexy I am like honey okay great you look hot why are you saying get your get your

marbles in place like why you saying what you sell and you think you sell it because I can see your v-neck it's not gonna happen give me info give me something I'll get it feed my brain So that's what people want first. Second of all is audio. If I do this, it doesn't matter what I'm telling you. The audio is driving me crazy. So if you need to invest in only one thing today, it's going to be audio. I don't have a voice for radio.

And funny, most of the things I do is podcast. So I went to podcast movement. I talked to a guy who work in audiences, what I can do with my voice. So I coach my voice to go to a point because I have a good microphone who allow me to do it. So how I sound and how I say it is important. Third one is my background. If I'm telling you, I'm going to talk about huge project, we can take your team to the next three step and you can see my bed and done in all my laundry for the last weekend. If I don't show that I have my things together, by the way, I haven't done my bed in two weeks. I don't have time, but I do get my business together,

but I don't need to show you that. I need to show that I'm professionally ready. So we are teaching companies how to help the employees to move to the digital era, how to say it. I have a lot of salespeople who says, I don't need a professional background, and I show them pictures. Okay, a kitchen in the background, no lighting, you cannot see my face. You want to trust somebody that I see a body lighting you cannot see my face you wouldn't trust somebody then I see a body not to see a face I need to see your expressions because I need to

trust you you need to put a face to the voice so what we have been doing people is like how to move from person to video because before was like hey I see you next week got a coffee doesn't happen anymore so how to move with digital to person to digital. And another thing we have been doing research for weeks and we find out that a handshake is equal to three hours of human interaction. Wow. The only hormone who happen in handshake and human interaction happen when you're smiling too. So how you need to start a video is smiling. Actually, today Tribe Global published an article about, we did about it, how you smile even when you don't want to.

You know what is the number one? Yeah, what is it? Grab your phone and watch videos of cats, puppies, and bloopers for three minutes. Your serotonin, oxytocin, adrenaline is going to go up and the stress hormones are going to go down. 75% of the people is afraid to public speaking. It's called glorophobia. So public speaking and being on video is the same. Some people have confessed in talking on the videos more even painful than doing public speaking. Because now you're the center of attention.

I don't have anything else to distract you. So how you do it, change your brain to change your body. Move your body to make your brain rewire. We can do it when we stop being afraid and being aware. Again, fear is froze. So everybody can do it. The point is when you leave your training and you leave your knowledge in people

who has been doing it for a long time, only 20 days. We're not saying the only company. What I'm saying is be careful when you put in your trust because when you do something wrong and done it, it's way more painful than before yeah Wow it's fascinating now as look looking at now face to face you think you can read me how do I take information based on my brow and facial expression can I see your ears yeah I need you to lift your hair now turn to the right and turn to the left

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Oh, you process information really, really fast. Like from one to seven. Like, whoa. Yeah. It's like you get like, you tend to do these advanced and progressing. Like, come on, go faster. Go faster. I'm getting bored.

Like, faster. Like, yeah, I get it. go faster. I'm getting bored. Like, faster. Like, yeah, I get it. I get it. Tell me more. Tell me more. Yeah, I got that. Don't finish the concept. You tend to finish other people information.

You gather information too fast. And between that, you have that, you don't think there is limit. People put limit to themselves. So when people tell you, you cannot be done like, oh, sit and wait, look for me. Your favorite word is like, you cannot do it. And Katie is going to show you how I can be done and done right. That's how you like it. You're a people person. You like

to hear stories. The stories for you are the way you construct your knowledge. You're created. You're thinking outside the box. You cannot work a nine to five in a cashier or teller. Why? Because you're created. You're not good at following structure. You never would have made it in the military, honey. You're not going to do it. Everything that you start, you finish. And the problem with that is you get really pissed off when people don't finish what they compromise they're going to do. If your husband says, honey, I'm going to paint the bedroom on Friday and it's Sunday, it's not painted.

Like you talk, you're going to paint it on the weekend. Well, only it's one wall left. I don't care. You say you're going to paint it. So you don't have that in you, that patient with people because you're going to paint it so you don't have that in that patient with people because you're fast taking information you're pragmatical you start everything you says you're going to be done you don't believe in I cannot do it and somebody says I cannot do it you get pissed off and like have you ever tried how are we doing oh my god that's just really me

can we can we promise that we didn't prepare this you didn't tell me no no that's just so me i get pissed off when people like i can't do what do you mean you haven't even tried it i know you are surprised i am not surprised that the reason like What do you mean? You haven't even tried it. I know. You are surprised. I am not surprised. That's the reason, like, when people, like, I have three reactions when this happens. People cry.

And I always say, when I did Be Hero, Bitches podcast, I made cry one of the girls because, on purpose, I asked not to see her. And when I started talking to her, she cried. And after that, I debriefed. Debrief is a word we use in the forum. Casey, are you okay? I make you cry all the podcast.

She says, thank you for seeing me. What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with me. It's who I am. And for the first time, you show me the things that people criticize. I am who I am, and I'm successful. Honey, don't change anything. You're perfect the way you are because every wrong turn,

everything in your personality making you who you are. The second one is like, have you been talking to my therapist? You know, my husband, you know, my wife, you know, my parents, you have been spying on me. And the third one is like, no way. This is, this is witchcraft. Like, no, you're, I'm going to get married. I'm going to win the lottery. Like, I don't know. I'm telling you what your body is telling me. I'm telling you what your face is

telling me. And again, it was like 90 seconds. Imagine this. You're going to meet with someone for dating, for selling, for a job interview. You're a manager. And in 90 seconds, I can know those things about you. I never going to pair you with a person who is not a finisher. I need to pair you with a doer. You're thinking, doing, and after that, you're feeling. When somebody tell you, Kate, this needs to be done, you're going to look for the better way to do it faster and more efficient. You don't believe

the thing needs to be done three times. If you write an article and you send it to the editor three times and they come back with mistakes, it says, dude, you know what is your job? Okay, you need me to explain it again? to correct it you don't need three times to do it right you need to do it right the first time so I will never want to pair you neither with a client neither with a co-worker who doesn't have those things but I will ask you to help people who have problem finishing things so it says Kate I need you to help Martin, who is always having problems finishing things. He goes around his head and never ended up anything. And he processes information really

slow and he's not a doer. Can you help him and teach him how to modify the preference so I don't need to be 10 times on top of him? Imagine that you can know that in 90 seconds, no 90 days. Imagine how much money you save, how much money you're going to be made in, how happy your team is going to be, how you're going to be selling to your customer what they need and what they want. You know what is happy customer? The one month later and say, call and says, hey, dude, you know what? The car you sold me, I love you.

It's the best car I ever had in my life. You was right. It's what I needed. That is a good sales. If I go in 90 seconds after I left the car sales, I'm like, I don't have what I need. I don't want this car. It's not what I needed. That is a bad sale because you're going to have complaint returns,

bad, bad media. 80% of the people look in your media, your comments, your rates on sales and your company before even they talk to you. Talk to you, yeah. So if people says, I have what I asked for, but if promise was delivered you're always going to have bad reputation because people in at least in my field they have a lot of a lot of like oh resistant like i don't understand you so i don't understand you i don't like you

but the majority is like this person delivers i save 90 days i make. I talk to one of my customers because he wants to talk to one of my sales rep and says, hey, dude, what I fixed for you? Why you hire me? And says, why are you really asking me? Because you save me 90 days. I'm making 12% a year on gaining. My salespeople is happy. They selling more clothes and I need more people because now we're going faster. And says, how I did that? Because you teach my people to profile others from the person who pick up the phone to know who they need to refer to, how to do it to the warehouse people to know if something can be a scam and who other people is maybe being high in drugs or can be danger for other people. So this guy is making 12% more of a year on selling and I did the training

for them in January. So it's like what I'd say in the beginning, like, oh, I like the person you're describing. Sometimes you need to check to the people who you have been helping to better understand who you are and how you help people because sometimes it's intrinsic. So what I did to you with you can be taught and it's not magic. It's not black magic. Some people call me witchcraft, but I like it. It's funny. So is it based on how i move my body or my ears or my facial expression that's amazing the only thing i read was the position of your ears the shape of your eyebrows the shiny on your forehead and the front front tooth do not ever ever for any reason fix your front tooth. The reason that you are stubborn when you make your mind, and it doesn't matter who says you cannot do it,

is the gap and the size of your tooth. Huh. So when you, I have you called stubborn before, no? All the time. Yeah. You know why? Because people who doesn't have the persistent, the stamina and the drive that you have is better to criticize and come instead to recognize like, wait, if he's doing it, maybe I should do it too.

But, but if I recognize and I cannot do it, she wins. And if you win meaning that I'm lost so I need to attack you so I wrote your front tooth I read the shape of your eyebrows and how high are your ears I didn't read the signs I didn't read your earlobes I didn't read the inner corn I didn't read if they are diplomatic or not flappy up next to the. I didn't read any of that. I read four things in your face and I already know how you are. That's amazing. I haven't read your body language yet.

Yeah. Because as soon as we start talking, you stop moving. When we was prepping before, like prepping meaning that, hey, kid, how you doing? Like, oh, this is the link. Like, how you doing? This is my husband. Oh, this is my house. This is okay. My makeup, the lighting, it's? Like, oh, this is the link. Like, how you doing? This is my husband. Oh, this is my house.

This is okay. My makeup, the lighting, it's okay. You was moving all over the place. As soon as we start talking, you stop moving. Why? Because you don't know what I'm going to be reading on you. So you stop moving and say, if I don't move, she's not going to see me. And you see, you're backing up.

Yeah. Like, meaning like, oh, yeah, you get me. You move around so much, yeah. Yeah, but you're really assertive. How I know you're assert up, like meaning like, oh yeah, you get me. I move around so much, yeah. Yeah, but you're really assertive. How I know you're assertive because you keep doing this back and forth. Some people can think that is insecure, like, no, really? I'm doing this all the time.

So when I'm interviewing people, I need to make sure that my back is against the chair because I intimidate people for my eyebrows besides always wearing black what I do everybody like I wear yeah she's a human behavior hacker just that nothing happened after that like people is afraid so if I do this that's a certainness like by the way I haven't had my MPA done yet. If everything goes well, I'm going to be finished by the end of the year. I'm going to be the number 23rd on the world. Wow. So I know that you're assertive when you move forward, advance and retrieve, advance and retrieve.

I cannot talk because I'm not certified and would it be unfair and unprofessional talk about that if I'm not certified by my teachers to say, you are ready to do it. A certification is a paper, the work coming after. I respect my teachers. When they told me I'm ready, I'm going to talk about it. But I do know intrinsically that when you advance and retreat, you have persistence. You're assertive. You you're doing you're moving forward you do things in life and that's what you have been doing even though you have a pillow in your back i can see the white pillow on your back yeah you have it you have it in the lower back so you get your your position straight that doesn't change the way that you're moving inconsciently when you

see this recording you are like wow holy cow that like, holy cow, that move a lot. Yeah, I do move a lot. And you know, I struggle even with my friends or having a business partner. I'm just listening to them. Like this is not going to be a good fit for me because I want to get things done when I want to do it.

I want to get done. And if you wait for so long, it would just piss me off. And then our relationship would not be good. So it's like, it's better for us not to be a business partner because I care about those relationships so much because I know I've been hearing you doing so many things and none of them got done that's that's what the first thing I told is that what is the only problem you're going to have you're going to get pissed off with whom what I told you you? A lot. Yeah, it's struggle for me because I want to get it done. I

get it done like now. But you know what, Kate? It's not a problem because you get things done. The problem is when you're not pairing with the right people, at least you learn from yourself for being a young age. It's like, okay, this is not going to work. How much time in your case is to preserve relationships? You know that the first time. So for me, more people take maybe $100,000 in a year of the crazy, ruin a relationship, getting pissed off, losing money to something that you can get in like an hour of conversation because you read how they intake information, you know what is going to be compatible. The difference between dating and selling is the happy ending.

Sorry, but it's true. You need to match with the right person. So business and dating is the same. I need to respect you. I need to trust you. I need to trust you. You need to respect me and then you need to trust me too. How that happen? When I can says me too.

When you can says, you know, Katie, I have a problem finishing projects. So at this point of the project, I'm going to come up with a lot of ideas, but I need you to be the person who make it happen. I put it on the table. So I give you the ideas and you're going to make it happen. That is a great team. If I know that in the beginning, if it's not natural, even though everybody's a face reader, everybody's a body language expert, we need to get that Pandora box open it's like doing like cleaning closet like every winter every summer i take all the clothing on my closet all my shoes and like oh i forgot to have the harley davison t-shirt now i can ride my harley with my original t-shirt who got me with the bike great let's do it it's happened the same you need to get your brain open reorganize things so you can find it what i

need it that's what we do i open your i break your nose in order to make it straight again that's what surgeons does when you break your nose they need to broke it it's painful but believe me when they put it back you look perfect yeah okay so susan what do you do with a company so you do all the management team and you train them how to hack and read people is that what it is tell me yeah basically what we do is to teach what we know to others to do we do we do three things we do research because if you don't research you cannot teach but if you cannot teach. But if you cannot teach, you cannot research. Because a lot of things will happen in the university. One of the things, and I don't want to be in the educational master structure, is like, okay, I love these studies done in laboratory.

What happens when you put it on the street? They don't work. So we research and teach. So we know the reality of knowing. And we use that to teach people how to do it. So we are not the kind of company that I consult with you, but I keep in the secret. No, I want everybody to know about this. I want everybody to know how to communicate because data is power, the power to become humans again. I don't want you to be manipulating your customers. I want to give your customer what they need. Why? Mouth to mouth

is a cheaper, better advertising you can have. It's happened to friends and I coached them dating and like, you know what? They ended up meeting their partner because the date says, yeah, you know what? You're right. But I think you're going to be great for my friend, John. And they introduced it. It's happened to one couple. They're married because he says like, you know what? I think this thing is not going to happen and we're not going to be compatible. And he says like, how do you know? Like, it's going to be a long story, but I think it's not going to work. I think you're perfect, but you're perfect for me. And the guy says, what are you looking for? And I'm looking for this, this. Oh, let me introduce my friend.

I was throwing the flowers on the wedding. So those are the things that we teach. It's not difficult, but it's complex. It's a difference between difficulty and complex. Humans, we're complex. We have humans that are difficult. That's the one you and I, we don't like. We get like, no, we like like complex it's funny for us but complications so it's complex is required learning but the most

important required the desire to make it happen if you expecting like most video tell you 10 ways that you can be successful 10 ways that you're going to be likable. Like, no, it doesn't take 10 seconds. It takes study. It takes times. You do not run a marathon if you smoke a pack of cigarettes and eating chicken wings. You know what happened? You're going to die 10 feet away from the star line. So it's your decision if you want to train every day. The first day is going to be a walk. Second day is going to be a 100 meter until you finally train and you can run the New York Marathon. How that happened? Training every day. I ask for my student 20 minutes a day, 20 minutes. When you're doing your breakfast, when you're eating your lunch, just do the practice that we send you. We teach and we send between 8 and 12 weeks of exercise after because that's how adults learn.

But if you don't do your part, it's nothing that I can do. So when people say, oh, my team is not working, well, let me go. Oh, these, these, and these are complaining about the training, like how you know, because they never did the homework. So don't put it on me. This is like two-way dance. When we dance, one of the things that I learned trying to learn to dance is that you can have somebody to lead, but somebody needs to follow. And it's between us.

So if I lead, but you don't follow, it's between us so if I lead but you don't follow it's impossible it's going to happen so I need you to be leading I need to be following trust me I don't need you believe to believe in what I do just go out there and do it and see what happened and after that let's go back and talk oh my god Like this is fascinating and it makes sense. So for a company, they need to have at least eight to 12 weeks of training for the team in order for them to retain and know how to do this. Oh no,

we have trained people in a weekend. I, this last weekend, I do a little pro bono and it's not about bragging it's about then I do not believe that you have the right to die with your knowledge and if you are making five million dollars a year I don't care how much you're giving back in your time in your knowledge and your resources you're bad I'm not gonna say I try to be polite because I have a toilet mouth. I curse a lot.

But you don't have any right. You're not a good person. Giving money is easy. What you need to give is knowledge. That's the only thing you need to give. So that's what I say all the time. So maybe I get in the guilty part of somebody else to do it too. So there is a cohort who teach people with low resources how to sell.

My unit initially was three hours on the cohort. Now I have eight because the complaint I have that my class is too short. But I have them from B measure and 25% likability, and after eight hours are 95% likability. They go from knowing how to use their body, read people, and read faces. It's the basic training. But I have people who are going from no idea what I'm doing to be rated by AI programs to I'm never going to hire this person.

I want to hire this person. Eight hours. We do Saturdays 1 to 4 and Sundays 1 to 4. Nothing else. I want to hire this person. Eight hours. We do Saturdays one to four and Sundays one to four. Nothing else. I'm not dying. You can prove it. I can send you the studies. I can send you the names. And that happened. It depends how deep you need to go. It depends on how deep you need to fix your team, how much solutions you need. I always say nothing is value without context. If I need to lose five pounds, it's not the same that I need to lose 20 pounds or 200 pounds. I need to lose five pounds in my case. So my effort to the five pounds is not going to be like the 50.

So why you need to take your team, what is your team, and how able everybody's compromised. One of the clauses that we have in a contract is then I have the right to determine after, if the training is a year, after a month, I have the right to say who's not coming back to my class. People who resist and spend more time criticizing and deteriorating the other part of the body, they're not coming. They always say, I have a laxative pill in my contract. If your team is not ready to be amazing, it's not my fault. I don't want people who is getting down others, who criticize others, but because we don't have an open mind. I choose my clients before I choose my business. I'm not from everyone.

If I need to send you five emails to explain what I do and you confront everything a step than I do, you're not my client. I'm not your trainer. You need to be open mind because this is not new. It's been happening for 5,000 years. But the reason you haven't read this on the news is because nobody want to tell that. What do you

think I've been doing for 20 years? Training people and doing this. The difference now I have more exposure, but doesn't mean that I haven't been making money. And the reason we have a big team training this, you wouldn't be amazed the companies who hired you to do this. Wow. Now, Susan, where is your company based? The company is based in Chicago, but the secret is that I have a summer house in Indiana, in Ogden Dune, that is like 35 minutes away from the city. And what started being my summer house ended up being my home. I've been here for the last three months and I'm going to the city and what started being my summer house ended up being my home i've been here for the last three months and i'm going to the city tuesday mornings and i come back here

thursday night and sometime even from the day only to wake up to see the half an acre and the deers and the forest but the company's from chicago and we work all around the world uh but training in person is in basically midwest and all the united states but the truth to be told is like i fall in love with nature and by the way you can see my brain never stops so the only reason i haven't gone bananas is because two years ago move here like and like, I can relax. Oh my God. So the last two and a half months, I was fine. I was being creative.

And then all of a sudden I was throwing a tantrum to my husband. I got to do something. I got to be creative. So you know what I did? I said, I'm going to get an RV and I've been searching and I got my RV. And tomorrow I'm going to Joshua Tree, read a book, do my podcast there, because it drives me insane being in one place. Yeah, because I told you, you're creative. You need to be creating outside the box all the time.

The formal norms doesn't fit with you. You need to be doing things all the time. Good for you. Now you know it. Don't fight it. It's hard sometimes to like how do i sit like navigate myself because when i'm in that mode i gotta do something several times i pack my bag you know what i told my husband you know i'm married okay we get married right but i'm telling you when i

feel like the urge to travel don't stop me because that's the end of it. Because when I feel like I'm packing my bag, I have to go somewhere. And then that like really gives me energy and like, okay, I can do. And then I can get back to my day-to-day life. Well, everybody requires a special person to spend the rest of your life with. There's nothing wrong with people. I always say, there's nothing wrong with your partner. It's not the partner for you. So you have been blessed to find the right partner. So you don't feel you're in a cage. You feel like the window is always open to fly, but the window is always open to come back.

So I would say your husband is a really intelligent gentleman. Keep it away because he knows in order to keep you, he needs to keep the window open. Oh my God. Now, Susan, what is the site? I'm so fascinated by this. I can't wait to tell everyone and share this video because I think all my friends are like,

oh my God, can she read me? By the way, you can contact me with it. I don't do Tinder free anymore. Like, no, no. I have people come to me like, can you read my Tinder? It's Sunday. Like, can you read like, in order to read you in 90 seconds, it take me 28 years. So it's look easy for you.

Doesn't mean that I can do like, it's, this is my work. If you're an accountant and ask you to do my taxes for free, it's not going to happen. So only to, you don't see it. I'm a bad person. I'm not going to be reading your Tinder dates. So don't even try it because this has been happened so long. Like now that we're in isolation, dating has happened online. Can you please like, no, we're not going to do it.

It's my work. I do it for my friends. You need to gain my trust before that. Wow. Okay. Susan, thank you so much for your time. I appreciate it. Thank you very much for inviting me.

Oh my God. Now I'm like, I'm really thinking there's something wrong with me. Why I can't fit with other people. Like it's hard. I feel bad. You know what? I've been labeled as a weird when I was six years old. I feel bad. You know what? I've been labeled as a weird when I was six years old. I'm 48. You know what? I stopped running against like the salmon do it against the

water. I made a career on that. So if you cannot fight it, go for it. Thank you so much. I can't wait. Oh my God. I'm going to reach out to you very soon I would love to thank you this is amazing thank you Kate see you soon have a wonderful day you enjoyed the show don't forget to rate review and subscribe and visit katehancock.com so you don't miss out on the next episode