Founder's Story - Ivan Misner: How a Quiet Introvert Built BNI into a $16 Billion Referral Powerhouse | Ep. 193
Episode Date: March 27, 2025Back by popular demand, Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, returns to Founder's Story. Fresh from hanging out with Richard Branson on Necker Island and preparing for an a...dventure to Antarctica, Ivan shares incredible insights, personal anecdotes, and powerful business lessons. This interview was originally recorded live in 2021.Episode Highlights:How Ivan founded BNI in 1985 and scaled it to over 10,400 chapters globally, driving 11.5 million referrals and $16 billion in annual business for its members.The transformative "Brody Moment" that took BNI from 20 chapters to a worldwide network.His journey from humble beginnings and financial challenges to becoming a networking powerhouse.Insights into his latest book, Who’s In Your Room?, explore the profound impact of personal relationships and core values.Why successful businesses focus on mastering a few key activities rather than chasing multiple distractions.Networking strategies emphasize farming relationships instead of transactional hunting.Ivan’s revelation about being a “situational extrovert” and practical tips for introverts to succeed in networking.Techniques to overcome social anxiety and build authentic connections.The critical distinction between mere contacts and genuine connections.Ivan's proven "24-7-30" follow-up system for nurturing relationships.Leadership principles are centered around motivation and inspiration rather than management alone.Favorite wine recommendations from Ivan's impressive 1,600-bottle cellar.Creating harmony in life instead of chasing the elusive idea of perfect balance.Resources and Books Mentioned:IvanMisner.comBooks: Who’s in Your Room?, Networking Like a Pro, The World’s Best-Known Marketing SecretRecommended Reads: How to Work a Room by Susan RoAne, Endless Referrals by Bob BurgOur Sponsors:* Check out Indeed: https://indeed.com/FOUNDERSSTORY* Check out Kinsta: https://kinsta.com* Check out Plus500: https://plus500.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Transcript
Discussion (0)
He was just hanging out with Richard Branson Necker Island. He's about to go to Antarctica.
So we called him at a good time, but I'm going to read his bio here. Dr. Ivan Meisner is the
founder and chief visionary officer of BNI, the world's largest business networking organization
on the planet. Founded in 1985, the organization now has over 140,000 chapters throughout every populated content in the world.
Last year alone, BNI generated 11 and a half million
referrals, resulting in over 16 billion,
that's what it'll be, billion dollars worth of business
for its members, which is incredible
that that is a highlight.
It's not about the organization,
it's about what it's doing for its members. He is from the University of Southern California, has his PhD, New York's
time bestselling author, written over 26 books, including one of his latest, Who's in Your Room.
So check that out right now. I'm sure you can get on Amazon or anywhere. Who's in Your Room?
He's also a columnist for entrepreneur.com, has been a university professor as well as
a member of the board of trustees for the University of La Verne.
He's been called the father of modern networking by both Forbes and CNN.
He's considered one of the world's leading experts on business networking, has been a
keynote speaker for major corporations and associations.
He's also been featured in LA Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Times,
numerous TV, radio shows, CNN, BBC, Today Show and NBC.
So among of among his many awards, which we were highlighting earlier,
he has been named humanitarian of the year by Red Cross.
And has been the recipient of the John C.
Maxwell Leadership Award.
He is proud that he and his late wife, Elizabeth are the co-founders of the B and
I charitable foundation, which is such a big part of what he does today.
He's reached empty Nestor status.
That's exciting after happily raising their three children.
Oh, and in his spare time, he is also an amateur magician
and a black belt in karate, which I did not even know until now. So maybe he has a magic
trick for us. I'm not sure, but welcome Dr. Ivan.
Wow. Dr. Ivan, I appreciate it. And just for the record, it's 10,400 chapters, not 100,000
chapters. I'd like 100,000 chapters, but we have a ways
to go for that.
That is just so amazing.
He's bringing me back, by the way.
Yeah, so exciting. So if you're watching us live, if you're seeing his back, it's not
really a backdrop, it's his real office, but it looks so flawless and curated so beautifully.
It doesn't look real. Dr. Kivan. Thank you. There's actually a great
story that goes with this office. When my late wife and I decided that we were going
to buy some property in Austin, we were living in a condo downtown, and I said to her, look,
I think we're ready. Get whatever house you want. I don't care.
Here's the budget, whatever you want.
She was gone one day.
One day.
I said, all I want is three things.
I want to be right on the water.
I want my own office.
I don't want to turn a bedroom into an office and I want a wine cellar.
Otherwise, get whatever you want.
She was gone one day, came back, said, I found our dream home.
I came out here and looked at it.
It didn't have any one of those three things. Not one. And I'm like, really? Really? I just wanted three
things. And that's when I found out she should have been in sales because she said, look,
there's this empty spot right next to the house. Just build your dream office, honey.
Your dream office. And I'm like, I like that idea.
So that's what I did.
And she said, look, there's a place under the wine cellar.
There's a place under the house.
You can turn that into a wine cellar.
So yeah, it ended up becoming my dream house.
But it was how I came and looked at it.
There you go.
I'm curious.
In that wine cellar, what's your favorite wine of all time?
Well, I think Quintessa, which is a Bordeaux blend style, Cabernet's, I like Big Bowl,
Hitch Over the Head Cabernet Sauvignon's, Chateau Montalena is one of my favorite, but
Bordeaux style blends, Quintessa, Opus, Insignia episode, these are all amazing Bordeaux blend wines that I love.
Thank you. Now I feel like I need to eat some steak to match your cab right there.
Right. Well, I got 1,600 bottles in my cellar, so there's plenty of space for more wine.
Oh, there you go. That's awesome. But Dr. Iven, tell us, what was your journey like
to get where you are?
Well, I grew up in a very low middle income family and neighborhood, but I had great parents
who were very supportive. And I was actually accepted to Occidental College with a 50% scholarship.
The problem was I couldn't afford the other 50%.
So I ended up going to a junior college in Southern California and then a state university
in California.
And it was my master's in doctorate that I did at USC.
And I started my journey in business while working for a transportation company
in California as an employee.
I was a general manager for a light manufacturing plant for a while and started my own consulting
business in my tollies.
And that's really what led me to start BNI, as I was looking for referrals for my consulting
practice. to start BNI as I was looking for referrals for my consulting practice and I started
BNI to get referrals for my consulting practice and tell my friends and it just it snowballed
People just kept coming and saying would you help me open up a chapter?
Would you help me open up a chapter and my my Brody?
Moment now, do you remember?
Sheriff Brody from
Jaws the movie Jaws?
Yes.
Well, Sheriff Brody, towards the end of the movie, he saw the shark for the very first
time and he went into the wheelhouse where the captain was and he said to the captain,
I think we're going to need a bigger boat.
And my Brody moment was the end of 1985 when we had opened 20 chapters without trying.
And I realized that I had struck a chord in the business community.
And that was the point at which I really sat down and created my plan to scale the business,
to make it something much larger than what it was. Wow.
I have to say 20 years old, built a consulting firm, created a referral business and took
off.
What a journey because most entrepreneur would say, I didn't have that kind of... What do
you think works?
With business in general or would be it-
Yes, with business in general.
You know what, I think the biggest mistake that businesses make is they try to do a thousand
things six times.
You want to be successful in business, you're going to do six things a thousand times, not
a thousand things six times.
And what I have found is that business people are constantly chasing bright, shiny objects.
Like I keep this in my desk if you're on clubhouse, you can't see it, but it's this little crystal
ball and it's on a chain. And it's like, people see these bright, shiny
objects and they go, oh, let's try this, let's do that. And they keep chasing things that
aren't part of the fundamentals of their success in business. And if I have any strength at all as a business
person, if I have any superpower as a business person, it's that I am a dog with a bone.
I take something and work it and work it and work it and work it. So I think if you want
to be successful in business, you got to do six things a thousand times, not a thousand
things. Six times, and by the way, it doesn't have to be six, it could be five, it could
be seven, but it's a handful of things that you do over and over again.
Thank you for sharing that Dr. Hyvind. Now, what was your vision in the beginning as you scale BNI?
What was your vision? What was the ultimate vision or your BHAG?
Yeah, well, and Kate, please just call me Hyven. So I wanted to help more business people.
I mean, in my introduction, you heard you passed 16 billion,
you passed almost 12 million referral for generating 16 billion with a B in business
for members around the world. And I really wanted to help more people get business referrals because most business people
don't know how to do that.
And so my BAG was, I came up with it in June of 1986, 18 months after I started BNI.
I went to the library because you didn't have anything like Monsieur Google where you could
just look up stuff online.
I had to go to a library, check out books, look at reference books for populations. And
I wanted to figure out how many chapters could BNI have someday. And I calculated that BNI
could have more than 10,000 chapters someday. And I remember telling a friend of mine this in
June of 1986, I had 10,000 chapters. And he said, Dylan, and how many chapters to make battles?
I said, 30. He said, 30. And you think you could have 10,000? I said, yeah, I really do. He
said, well, it's good to have goals. Good luck with that. And we hit 10,000 chapters
in the middle of COVID. In December of 2020, we passed the 10,000 chapter rule.
00 Wow, what achievement. And I can't believe it. You got it. I mean, at the end of the day, it's needed
for entrepreneurs more than ever.
Yeah, it really is. Business people read the foals and most business people don't really
know how to generate them. And so what we've tried to do in BNI is to codify a system to
do that. I went to a lot of networking groups
as a young man that I felt were very mercenary. Everyone was trying to sell to one another.
And then I went to these other groups that were very social, it's happy hour and herbs.
And I didn't like either of those. The mercenary groups, I felt like I'd been slimed and I
needed to go home and get a shower. The social groups were a waste of time for me. What I wanted was something that was vigorous focused but not totally transactional and
relational, but not totally social. And the glue that would hold it together is this principle
core values of givers gain, this idea that if you want to get business, you have to help
other people get business. And that's been a principle that
has been a guiding light for the organization over the years.
Thanks so much. Now, Ivan, what is leadership means to you?
Leadership to me, leadership is not about managing and complying.
It's about motivating and inspiring.
Leadership is not about managing and complying.
It's about motivating and inspiring.
Now, look, managing and complying is important, but that's business.
That's management.
That's business. That's management. That's
business. Leadership is about inspiring people. I studied under Warren Bennis at USC. He was
in his day the world's leading expert on leadership. That mantle has been handed over to John Maxwell,
who's a friend, and he and I have done a number of videos together. Maxwell is absolutely the
world's leading expert today on leadership, but I studied under Warren Bennis and learned
a lot about leadership. I studied under a brigadier general, a retired brigadier general,
which was an amazing experience to study under him at UST. He said, we teach officers, not only management,
how do you manage people, but we teach leadership. And he said, when they go to a ridge, when
they climb up a ridge and they say, follow me, we don't want people to say, well, let's
have a committee meeting and talk about that. We need people to follow that officer. And
so we teach leadership as well as management.
And they're different, both important, but they're different.
Thank you for sharing that.
We all can learn from that.
Wow.
Now, the last time you were here, Ivan, you said network is not your network, which a
lot of us were saying it incorrectly.
Can you tell us why that's not true at all?
Okay, repeat that because I'm not sure I said that, but go ahead.
Yeah, you mentioned it. I wrote it because I have it in my notes while you're here. You said
your net worth is not your net worth because it really is who's going to call you when you need
help. Yeah, okay. So, you gave me context there, I appreciate it.
You know, what I was referring to is context versus connections.
I have amazing contacts in my database.
The question though is, can I reach out to one of those contacts?
If I called them, would they take my call?
And if I asked for a favor, would they be willing to do the favor?
So it's not just the connections that you have.
I'm sorry, it's not just the contacts you have, it's the connections that you have.
It's how well you know each other.
You know the old saying, it's not what you know, it's who you know?
I don't think it's either.
I don't think it's what you know or who you know, it's how well you know each other. You know the old saying, it's not what you know, it's who you know? I don't think it's either. I don't think it's what you know or who you know, it's how
well you know each other that really, really makes a difference. And so the real question
is could I call those people that are in my contacts? Can I ask them for a favor? Would
they even take my call? And if they take it and I ask them for a favor, would they be
willing to do it? That's, I I think what makes a powerful personal network.
Wow.
Thank you for that.
Now Ivan, how can someone improve their networking skills?
You know, there's a mindset and a skill set to networking, and you need to understand
both.
But the whole thing starts with the right mindset.
And the right mindset begins with the concept that I call the VCP process, visibility, credibility,
profitability.
You have to first be visible.
People have to know who you are and what you do.
Then and only then can you move to credibility where people know who you are, they know what you do, they know you're good at it.
And that one takes time.
But when you get to credibility, then you can move to profitability where people know
who you are, they know what you do, they know you're good at it, and they're willing to
refer business to you.
What tends to happen is that most people use networking as a face-to-face cold calling
opportunity.
Hi, my name's Sohn.
So let's do business. And they try to
jump over visibility, over credibility, get right to profitability. And one of my books
I call that premature solicitation, which you don't want to say fast three times, it'll
get you in trouble. But I see that happen in networking groups. So you go to networking
groups to work your way, in my opinion, to work your
way through the VCP process, through visibility, through credibility, through profitability.
And the process is a marathon, not a sprint.
It is a marathon.
It takes time to build relationships with people.
Networking is more about farming than it is about hunting.
It's about cultivating long-term relationships with other
people. So that's the mindset, the skillset. Gee, I could talk for hours about the various skillsets
that are necessary to build a powerful personal network, but you need to look at both mindset and
skillset. So I have a couple of questions on that. Sorry, I have a couple of questions on that. I'm sorry, I have a couple questions on that. I forgot to unmute myself on clubhouse.
So you bring up a good point
and this is something I'm really bad at.
We were just at an amazing event
with some incredible people.
However though, I'm the worst in networking environments.
I don't know what it is.
I just, I like clam up.
I can't talk, I get nervous. I don't know something about it. I just, I like clam up. I can't talk. I get nervous.
I don't know something about it. What do you tell the people that when they get around
a lot of people, they just don't, it just becomes very difficult for them to open up
versus when you're in the small environments. There's just something about being around
people that I don't know. I just do, I'm horrible at it.
So you know, a lot of people will ask me or they'll say to me, you know, I'm horrible at it. So a lot of people will ask me or they'll say to me, I'm an introvert, I have a hard
time networking and I have a hard time connecting with people. And I understand that. I'll tell
you a true story about 15 years ago, and you can find this on my blog. If you go to ivenmeiser.com,
you can find this article. I'll give you the title of it in a minute. It was probably 15 years ago,
maybe a couple more than that. And I was at home with my late wife in LA and we were talking.
It was one of the few nights where the kids were at some school event that we didn't have
to be at it. It was just the two of us. It was really nice. And I said something, I don't
even remember the topic, but I said something about, oh well, honey, you know me, I'm such an extrovert.
And she said, no, you're not.
And I'm like, what?
Of course I'm an extrovert.
I run the world's largest networking organization.
I'm an old speaker.
Of course I'm an extrovert.
And she's like, hey, whatever you say, sweetie, but not so much. And so I'm getting annoyed with her because she's telling me that I'm basically
an introvert and she's reading this book called The Introvert and Extrovert I Love and she's
telling me how I'm an introvert. And one of the things in there is that you introverts
recharge their batteries by being alone. And like, well, that kind of sounds like me, but
I am not an introvert. So I go into my office in LA,
my home office, and I get on Google and I find a test and I take this test and it says,
congratulations, Iven Meisner. You are an introvert who is a situational extrovert.
And that blew my mind. By the way, the article is OMG, I'm an introvert. You
can find this at ibemyser.com. I wrote it the next day. And it hit me the kind of network
I started. I could have started anything. Big mixers, hundreds of people, mingling,
but no, I get uncomfortable meeting people in a large environment.
I have this technique where I... And it's like so much fell in line for me when I realized
this.
I have this technique where when I go to a networking event that I... A large networking
event and I don't know a lot of people, I have someone introduce me around.
Somebody who knows the people or if it's at a BNI event, somebody who is
helping to run that BNI event, I have them walk me around and introduce me, because I
don't like just walking up to strangers and introducing myself. So I am here to tell you
that introverts can be just as good. A lot of people think I'm pretty good at networking.
Introverts I believe can be... And by the way, it said you're a situational extrovert.
So when you are talking
about a topic that you are passionate about, you come across as an extrovert. Otherwise,
you're an introvert. Go apologize to your wife. It didn't say that, but I did. The thing
with being a situational introvert is that I created a network that was about having smaller groups of people, 30, 40, sometimes
less, sometimes more. You meet every week, you get to know each other, you build relationships.
And it hit me, this is perfect really for introverts. Introverts can be great at networking
because I think a good network has two ears and one
mouth and uses them both proportionally.
So introverts are really good listeners.
They're better listeners than extroverts.
Extroverts love to talk.
And what's their favorite subject?
By themselves.
By themselves, yeah.
So introverts and extroverts have a strength and a weakness when it comes to networking.
Extroverts have no problem meeting people, but their favorite topic is themselves.
Introverts have a hard time meeting people, but they're good listening, a good networker,
two ears, one mouth, uses them both proportionally.
So I think being an introvert is fine.
There are techniques that you can use to help you connect with people more effectively.
Wow, that's awesome.
That actually makes me feel so much better.
I have to say, I forced myself to network in Austin, and it's exhausting mentally.
I can't force myself or I'm not.
I would rather be a listener by that.
It's amazing. But I love how you said, Ivan, that building relationship, it's not hunting, it's farming. What are some
of the things that people are doing it wrong when it comes to building a relationship with
amazing people? For example, you yourself or Richard Branson, what are some of the things
that people are doing
it wrong?
Well, they're using networking as a face-to-face cold calling opportunity when they're networking
peer-to-peer. When they're networking up, networking with somebody above their weight
class who they think is more successful than they are, I think the biggest mistake they
make is trying to sell to the person too quickly, which is a mistake most people make, but it's particularly a mistake if you're networking up. And the reason for that is people like Branson,
and really, really successful business professionals, everybody and their mother
is trying to sell something to them. So if you want to be like everyone else,
try to sell something to them. And let me tell you, you want to ruin the relationship quickly, do that.
Instead, what you want to do is add value to them.
So you want to find out what they're interested in.
What are they working on?
What are they doing?
And when you find out what it is that they're working on or what they're doing, see if you
can add value.
See if there's something you can do to help them.
And if you go to my blog, again, at ibemyselin.com,
and do a search on Branson, you'll see on a couple of my visits to Necker Island, I asked,
I talked to Branson about some of the things he was working on, one of his books and this idea of
the B team, the business team, where business can be noble and do things in communities.
And I said, how can I help you promote this? And he said, well, you don't get
it out to your network. And I said, would you like to do a video? And I'll promote it on my video.
And he said, yeah, of course. So rather than ask him for something or ask him to do business,
I asked him, how can I help you? And so far, he has generally said, well, you could do this, and I'm happy to
do it. And that's the best way to build value, especially if you're networking up.
Hey, Kate, just really quickly on that. Thank you, because that, I think, clears up a lot
of... A lot of people want to say, how could I add value to somebody like Richard Branson or
Ivan Meisner? What do you say to people like that? Maybe they don't have that network.
Is there something else that people can do who might say, wow, this person is so untouchable.
How can I add value to them first?
Yeah. Well, everybody comes to the table with value, some type of value. So for me, I have
an audience and so that's the value that I can bring to the table. But everybody has
something that they can bring to the table to help. Let me give you an example of what
I'm talking about. I had an associate who came to me once and he was in
an organization that I'm in and he really does a lot of work with online website promotion
stuff and he came to me with this idea and I said, his name was Alex and Alex said, hey,
you should try this and I'm like open to, but my budget is set for this year.
And he's like, no, no, no.
I would like to do it for you.
I need to experiment with it so that I can sell it to people.
I'm like, okay, you want to do that, that's fine.
So he did it.
And then a couple months later, he reached out to me and he wanted to tweak something.
And I said, okay.
And a few months later, something else and then something else and then something else.
At the end of a year, he called me up.
Now he had done nothing at this point but pour into me with the kind of skill set that
he had.
The end of almost a year, he called me up and he said, Ivan, I have a favor to ask
you.
And I said, hang on, stop, Alex.
He answers yes.
What is it that I'll be doing?
And he said, how could you say yes?
You don't even know what it is.
I said, well, you have done nothing but pour into me for a year.
You've given and I said to him along the way, what can I do for you?
He said nothing.
So the first time he says,
I need a favor, the answer is yes. And I said, I can't imagine that you're going to ask for
something like, I'm not willing to do, you know me well enough, so what is it I'll be
doing for you? And he told me, I'm like, are you kidding? I'd love to do that. That'd be
easy, happy to do it. And so there's an example of somebody who with his skillset, not a big
audience, but his skillset poured into me to the point where when he needed something, I'm like,
yeah, absolutely.
Wow. Love that. Thank you so much. Back to you, Kate.
Yeah. So Ivan, aside from your blog, is there any book that you would recommend for people
how to be the best networker that really is awesome?
Well, I've written a few and I'll share some of those with you, but there's a couple written by
some other people that I really recommend. Susan Rowan has an amazing book on how to work a room.
And she's probably one of the few people who I think is an absolute expert at networking and would certainly recommend her in any presentation on networking.
The other is Bob Berg, who wrote the book Endless Referrals.
So How to Work a Room by Susan Rowan, Endless Referrals by Bob Berg.
Bob is the real deal. Bob is, I mean, he's a giver and he's written the book, The Go
Giver. So, he's definitely a giver. He does what he promises and he does it well. So,
I'd recommend those two books. As for books on networking for me, probably Networking Like a Pro, the second
edition, I'd recommend the second edition of Networking Like a Pro. I've also written
Who's the World's Best Known Marketing Secret, which is a really good book on networking
as well.
Well, thank you for that. I'm writing it down. Now, how to work a room when it's 500 people, where do you go first?
Yeah, go ahead.
I'm wondering, do you have a strategy to do that?
Like it's $500.
It could be very overwhelming.
So I'd like to hear.
Yeah.
So when you walk into a room, and ironically, I think I just posted this.
It's a concept that's in my books, but I think, yeah, ironically, I just posted this today
on my blog.
How you stand changes who you meet.
Yeah, Ivan, I'm just going to plug you real quick.
Where do you start?
Just so everyone knows, I'm going to plug just real quick, sorry.
If they go to, just so you you're talking they can check it out go to Ivan Meisner calm
IVAN
MISN er calm
You can check out his blog the things that he's talking through check out all his books
Just want to make sure that people can follow along because I know we're gonna open up to questions
I know they're gonna have a lot of questions Ivan Meisner. You can look at the top of their IVAN
MISN er IvanMeisner.com.
You can see all these blog posts.
It's an incredible website with a ton of great information because we all need to be better
marketers, I'm sorry, networkers and marketers.
And also you can check out his books and you can of course go to BNI.com for the organization.
But IvanMeisner.com.
Sorry to interrupt, but back to you.
Heck, are you kidding? You're talking about my blog. I can interrupt anytime. I've been
doing two blogs a week since 2007, so I have lots and lots and lots of content up on there. It's
all free. Obviously, if you want to book, you go to Amazon, but the blogs are all free. All the
content is free. So the article I was talking about
was when you walk into a room, where do you start? So next time you walk into a networking
event, there's a lot of people observe the room. People who are standing perpendicular
to each other, let's say two people facing each other, standing perpendicular, it's hard
to break into that conversation. So just look past that for a few minutes and then look around the room. People who are
standing in a triangle, a closed group, a closed triangle, it's hard to break into that.
People that are standing in a square, four people standing in a square or in a circle
like a huddle, it's hard to break into that. What you want to look for are what I call open twos, open threes, and open groups. An open two looks like the
letter V. People are standing askew from each other. It's really easy to slip in there and
introduce yourself. Or people standing in an open three, which looks like a U. It's
easy to step up and introduce yourself. Or an open group where you have a larger number of people but there's an open spot, look for
the open groups and slide in.
Now, if you are a member of a networking group, it's really important that you teach your
fellow members to always stand in open twos, open threes, and open groups, because it is a subtle but
significant technique to make people feel included, to make people feel like it's easy
to strike up a conversation with other people. It is a great technique to use. I've tested
it and we've seen where chapters who use this technique in BNI, people walk away going,
I don't know what it is, but it's just so easy to strike up conversations with people in this
group. Well, it's done on purpose. So always stay in an open twos, open threes and look for them.
I remember once I did a... It's so funny, I did a presentation, Tino, I talk about this. And by the way, you can see I've got on my blog,
I think I've got JPEGs in there. Let me just double check.
And then so everyone go to IvanMysner.com so you can follow along.
And you can see the JPEGs or a JPEG at least, and use that as a model of what I'm talking about.
And I remember once I did this presentation,
talked about it, and I'm standing with a guy at a networking event, and the two of us are standing,
we're doing the exact wrong thing, perpendicular, looking at each other, and he looks at me and he
goes, is it closed too? I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, okay. We open it up, boom, immediately,
third person comes in, he and I look at each other,
the first guy and I close three, we open it up, boom, fourth person, fifth person, sixth
person, seventh person. The group got, the circle got to like eight or 10 people before
I stepped to another group. But I mean, that's the way it works. Look for people in open
stances. It's such a simple technique, but a lot of what I talk about
is simple. It's not easy. If it were easy, everyone would do it, and they forget. And
so these techniques are very effective. Hope that answers your question.
Wow. That's really awesome. Now, this really happened to me over the weekend or the last
few days. How do you recover from saying something stupid because
you're nervous? This is what happened to me. I was in a bathroom and I was washing my hand and I asked
the lady, I compliment her with it's really beautiful. It's a real beautiful top, some
beautiful tops. I asked her what she does and she said she handled Beyonce's fund.
And I don't know how to say after that.
I think I said something stupid.
So I don't know how to recover.
Maybe I'm beating myself hard because I said something that, oh, that must be weird seeing
people's reaction when you say that.
Did I say stupid thing?
I don't know.
Is it what you said?
Yeah, that's what I said.
I normally don't say things like that, but I guess how do you recover from that fall?
I feel like it's a big...
Yeah, first of all, don't beat yourself up.
It's not that bad.
It's an unusual thing to say.
Listen, I said worse, okay?
I've absolutely said worse.
So the first thing I would tell people is don't worry about saying something stupid.
You will.
It's inevitable.
We all do.
I definitely have.
Don't worry about that.
What you want to do is recover as quickly as possible and ask a few more meaningful questions.
And there are some that you can use that are really easy.
Like that's a really interesting business.
What do you like most about what you do?
Well, people love to talk about what they love most.
You might want to ask questions like, what's the most challenging thing about what you
do?
And you said that she handles, was it Beyonce's foundation?
Is that what it is?
No. Yeah. So, you know, who it Beyonce's foundation? Is that what it is? No.
Yeah.
So, you know, who does Beyonce support?
What organizations does she support?
I'm really curious.
And just get the person to open up.
And then you don't have to follow a very specific line of questioning.
Remember, it's not an interrogation, it's a discussion.
Follow the thread. So if she were to say, these are
the kinds of things we support, then you could say, tell me more about that. That's really
interesting. Or I have some experience with organizations like that. This is the experience
I've had. Tell me more about your... And just get people to open up and talk. You could
recover. That was not so bad that you couldn't recover from it. Willingly,
I've said worse. It was probably one of the worst. I've never done that, but maybe I was
in the bathroom. I wasn't expecting her response. And I was kind of looking, was in the room.
Again, I was kind of looking, but then like it was a bad timing but there you go.
That wasn't so bad.
Yeah, no, that's incredible.
That same event, interestingly enough, there was somebody who is very, very, very high
level individual, used to be C-suite of a very large organization.
After two minutes of talking to them, they turned around and said, enough
about me. I want to know more about you. And that person, out of all the 50 people that
we met that day, I remember that person. So I love what you're saying around asking questions
about the person. And then you gave everyone those two examples, the challenging, what
do you love? These are great openers. We're all
amateurs when it comes to networking and I think that's why so many people are
here. Just so everybody knows I pinned to the top your website Ivanmeiser.com
so they don't have to remember how to spell it. It's right at the top of the
screen. All you have to do is just click the top of the screen, goes right to his
blog, his website. So just tap literally the link we pinned to the top. Really
simple. Tap that, go to his website. You can check out his books, his website. So just tap literally the link, we pinned it to the top, really simple, tap that, go to his website,
you can check out his books, his blog,
two blogs a week for a long time.
There's a whole lot of information to read
and we all need to be better at networking,
especially since I know I've done the most networking
in the last few months that I've probably ever done.
I think everybody right now is going to conferences,
is going to events and we all need to be better. I wish we had this conversation a week ago,
by the way, because I know a few days ago I could have done a much better job at networking. So
I appreciate that. But I think we can go, Kay, do you have any more questions or I can open up
to audience? Yes, I have one last question. These are great questions, you guys. Oh, thank you.
Ivan, how do you want to be remembered?
It's funny, the more gray hair I get, the more often I mess this question.
What do I want my legacy to be?
I think your life is your legacy.
How you live your life is how you remembered. I'll give you a variation of a quote by Jean-Paul Sartre
that I read in college and I love this quote. I'll paraphrase him. He said, we all die too
soon or too late and yet our life is complete at that moment with a line drawn neatly under it,
ready for the summing up. We are our deeds in life and little more. And I think that
summarizes what I think a legacy is. It's not what you want, it's how you lived and how you affected
people. In one of my books, Who's in Your Room, I talk a little bit about this and then
I'll... And then we can move on to the next question. I talk about the fact that we all
have people that are in our story, that there's somebody, particularly when we're young, that
said something that helped change our trajectory, sometimes the bad, sometimes the good, but
they're in our story. To me, we all have people that are in our story, but to me, what's more
important than who's in our story is whose story are we in? Whose life have we changed in some way, helped in
some way that we're in their story? And that's a life well lived when you are in people's
stories in a positive way. Great question.
Wow. Thank you. Dan? Yeah, which is exactly why we call this founder story, this segment here, because there's
so... I love that point.
There's so many quotable things that you're saying, so I hope you don't mind that.
I think a lot of people are going to be quoting Ivan Meisner.
So if you quote Dr. Ivan Meisner, please give him credit for that.
Maybe give him a hashtag on social media.
Maybe do an at right there, add in Ivan Meisner.
You can also click at the top, but so incredible
what you said.
I think there's so much inspiration and power
in the story and the impact,
and that's what people remember.
They remember your story.
They don't necessarily remember your accomplishments.
So we have Dr. Ivan Meisner,
the founder of BNI, the world's largest business networking organization. I keep saying the
world and I say planet at the end. I don't know why it sounds, it sounds, uh, it's like
double the world's largest business networking organization on the planet. Um, Dr. Ivan Meisner
here, you can click the top, the link right there. You can check out his blog
He has incredible New York Times and many best-selling books as well
Also, of course, you can go to BNI.com with this organization
And I remember going to one I want to say was maybe 15 years ago throughout my life
I've gone to different types of BNI
First in Florida one in New Mexico then also in California
And I've met some some great great people that are even you know First in Florida, one in New Mexico, then also in California.
And I've met some great, great people there, even somebody who became a great friend of
ours as well.
So I want to open it up to questions here and I want to see who has a question.
Before we do that, somebody did ask real quick, I've never seen this before, when is your
birthday?
June 30th.
All right.
Somebody asked him what.
So you might get a present in the mail.
I don't know.
June 30th.
I was born in 1956.
So I'm 65 years old.
All right.
So June 30th.
Somebody asked what is the day of your birthday?
So I don't know why, but there you go.
You might get a great greeting card.
So I'd love to see who.
Let's go to Dimple first. Dimple, Renee, Michael Butler.
Welcome Michael Butler. So Dimple, Renee, Michael Butler, and then we'll keep it going. Over to you, Dimple. Well, that's a great question.
We had almost 10,000 chapters when COVID hit, 9,700 groups,
all meeting every week, 9,700 weekly meetings in person. So we had to pivot very quickly.
Luckily, I've got a CEO who runs VNI who was absolutely visionary on this topic, and he saw that COVID
was going to have a dramatic impact in the world.
And so we started transitioning Asia in January of 2020, and then Europe in February, and
we did the rest of the world in March of 2020, the whole world transitioned to online.
And so all of our chapters are meeting online for better part of a year.
We still have chapters that are meeting online.
We have 700 chapters who started online and they may continue to be strictly online. What we are suggesting to BNI chapters now is they
consider... They can do what they'd like. They can either go back to meeting in person. I started
the organization meeting in person, so I'm in favor of that. But I also recognize that the world
is changing. And so some want to meet in person again. That's fine as long as it's safe and
you remain safe, meet in person. Some want to just meet online and that's fine. But what
I think we're going to see a substantial movement to, and I'm seeing it now, is a hybrid where
chapters are meeting online, say, three times
a month and meeting in person once a month. I love that concept because it still has people
meeting face to face in person, but the ease of operation online is significant. By the
way, I predicted in 2018, I wrote an article at entrepreneur.com that the future
of face-to-face was online, that we were going to be moving to an online platform because
of the technology that was developing mixed reality, 3D technology, holographic imaging
that I predicted that within 10 years we were
going to be meeting online. I didn't see COVID coming, but the technology is a... I mean,
think about this. What if COVID had hit us in 1990 instead of 2020? Wow. We would really, really have problems as a world and business. So
many more people would have died. So the technology has been a godsend for us worldwide. I hope
that answers your question.
Wow. Incredible. Thank you, Ivan. All right, great question too Dimple. Appreciate that.
So we had, I wrote it down here, we had Renee, Michael Butler, then Diamond Diva, and then
Bolly Paul and Katrina and then we'll go from there. So Renee, Michael Butler, Diamond
Diva, Bolly Paul, Katrina, over to you Renee and great to see you
The interview with Ivan and dr Ivan I'm just so grateful for your honesty your humbleness as well as your heart
You know for your passionate purpose of being able to care for so many. I think we have a hot a hot mic
I'm not sure but I do hear other people in the background. Just being able to really
help others to succeed, especially during this time, you know, I too was in this space of just
working online since 2016. So I definitely can, as you said, it's a gift that we're in right now,
because we've all been able to connect so wonderfully and I know for sure thanks to Daniel alongside with you we can continue on listening to your
interview how was because we hear the sincerity as well as the confidence and
also you are a true gift and you continue on giving and that's a great
gift that you've been doing I'll say this too I've had the pleasure of meeting
your friend as well as I'll say this too, I've had the pleasure of meeting your friend
as well as I would say one of my mentors, Mr. Son Richard Branson, and I am going to post this
picture up. I have the pleasure of meeting him and he's another great giver in this space.
I have two questions for you, Dr. Ivan. With a long and triumph career. What has been your proudest moment that will stay with you?
Then the second question is,
I know with everything that you do,
it's so important to understand,
how do you juggle the fatherhood
as well as the entrepreneurship
still while making time for yourself?
And while you're answering,
I'll make sure I switch
out the picture to show Alfred and Salute to Branson. Thank you.
Thanks, Renée. What a great set of questions. And first of all, let me just talk about Branson
for a second. Amazing man. His ego does not enter the room before he does, which is really incredible.
And I think I have a philosophy about humility. I think that humble people don't think less of
themselves. They just think of themselves less. And Branson is, I think, a classic example of that.
I watched him. I mean, I've been to Necker now four times and I've met him three or four times
watched him, I mean, I've been to Necker now four times and I've met him three or four times elsewhere. And for those who don't know, Necker Island is his private island. And I
watched him talk to staff and he talks to staff the same way he talks to millionaire.
He gives his staff the same respect that he gives millionaires that may be on the island. And there's a lot to be said for
somebody who's a billionaire who treats people that way. And yeah, amazing person. Okay,
so your two questions are... The second one was really, I think about balance. And the
first one is my proudest moment. My proudest moment I'm writing about right now, it will be in a book that comes out maybe
late next year, 2022 possible.
It'd be early 2023.
The book, the working title on it is The Third Paradigm.
And it's about co-creation, about how business has gone from competition, the first paradigm,
to cooperation, the second paradigm, to co-creation, the third paradigm, things like crowdsourcing.
And that's what the book is about.
And I tell a story in there about really my proudest moment.
It's too long to tell here, but I'll give you a really, really Reader's Digest version, which is it
was one particular day at a BNI convention that I knew would be either the best day of
my professional career or the worst day of my professional career.
And it was because I had released an online platform that was a total and complete
disaster. And what I had to do was fall in the sword, beg for forgiveness, and more importantly,
then move the organization in the direction that it needed to go, which means that I had to make it right.
And so getting to the point where people would go from wanting to draw and quarter me publicly
at the meeting to having them go, yeah, we can do this, was probably my proudest moment
in business. And I tell the whole story in
the book, it's called The Third Paradigm. It's not out yet, but you might find that
interesting when it does come out. Let's talk about balance. You can get this material right
out of a book I wrote called Who's in Your Room, which is about the people that you surround yourself with. And so I'm going to give you the secret to balance. Would you guys, Daniel, Kate, would you like, you think
they'd like to hear the secret to balance? Absolutely. All right. Here's the secret to
balance. Forget about balance. You'll never have it. Yeah. When I tell people that they'll either chuckle or you'll hear, especially in a public audience,
so that you hear people groan like, oh man, I thought I was going to get something good.
I hope you get something good because I think balance is impossible.
And you said it in your question, juggling all these different things.
You used the term juggling.
I think life is more of a juggling act than a balancing act because we think of balance
as scales and that our personal life has to be in balance with our business life, which
has to be in balance with our spirituality and our health and it's all got to be in balance.
And that just isn't realistic.
Life is more of a juggling act than a balancing act.
Although I don't think you can have a life of balance, I strongly believe you can have
a life of harmony.
Harmony is different than balance.
This is not just semantics.
Even the graphic for harmony, the yin and the yang are out of balance if you separate
them.
It's the whole coming together that creates a life of harmony.
And I have lived a life that is probably not very balanced.
I have 2.3 million miles on one airline alone.
I traveled immensely. It's hard to raise a
family, have a marriage of 31 years, and a successful business. And so I tried to create
a life of harmony. And I'll give you two or three things. This is right out of the book
who's in your room. The first is a technique that's about be here now. Simple concept.
A lot of what I talk about simple, just nothing about be here now. Simple concept.
A lot of what I talk about simple, just not anything, be here now.
Wherever you are, be there.
Don't be at home thinking about that project that's got to get done at work.
Don't be at work thinking about the fact that you didn't spend time with the family last
night.
Wherever you are, be fully present.
Now, nobody's perfect at this.
I wasn't.
But I got pretty darn good at being present wherever I was.
And the more you can practice that philosophy of be here now, the more you're going to have
a life of harmony.
Here's one more, and there's like six or seven different techniques to create harmony.
But one more is you have to have a life with margins. You have to have space for yourself. It's like in the margins
of a book. You have to have space for yourself. If that involves meditation, if that involves...
For me, I do meditate, but for me, it's like going out on my boat on the lake, or I have a telescope looking at the planets
in the telescope.
Okay, don't tell anybody.
Watching TV.
I watch TV.
I watch... There are programs I like.
And that's one of the ways... That's a margin for me.
I have, since I was a young man, taken almost always one day a week, unless I'm traveling,
one day a week that is my mental health day. I don't go anywhere. I don't do anything outside
of my house other than hang with the family if they're here or made to go out on the boat
or go in the hot tub. Other than that, it's my day and I recharge my batteries.
And so I talk about this in Who's in Your Room.
I don't believe balance is possible, but I believe harmony is.
I hope that answers your question.
Billy.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I appreciate it. And you're right, you didn't Thank you, Renee.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
And you're right.
You didn't say balance.
I threw that in there when you used the term juggling.
I hope that, again, I hope that answers your question.
It was a great question.
Awesome.
Thank you so much, Ivan.
Thank you, Renee.
Always great seeing you as well.
So founder of BNI, Ivan Meisner.
Ivan, how much more time do you
have just so- Oh, I've got at least a half an hour. I'm speaking by Zoom to China in an hour,
so I've got a hard stop in an hour for sure. All right. So we'll just make sure. I have Diamond
Diva, Michael Butler, Katrina, Bollie Paul. Sorry if I screwed up the order, but Diamond Diva, Michael Butler, Katrina, Bollie Paul. Sorry if I screwed up the order,
Diamond Diva, Michael Butler, Katrina, Bollie Paul.
We'll go in that order.
So please, if you could just get quickly to the question
so everyone can answer.
Diamond Diva always asks very, very insightful questions.
So get ready, because this is gonna be a good one.
I know that.
Also, there you go, don't fall out of your chair.
I just wanna make sure that
everyone checks out just click the link at the top Dr. Ivan Meiser you can go to Ivan Meiser.com
all you have to do is tap the link at the top so you can learn more about him but diamond over to
you. or One club today I'm the DB here so great to see you dr. Ivan Meiser
Again here is people space and as always I'm learning new things every time
Share and my question is in regard to something that you shared in your book
Who's in your room and so we think about the people that we?
Round ourself with the network if you will it really is important that we add about the people that we ground ourselves with.
The network, if you will, it really is important that we add the right people because guess
what?
They're dropping those gems and those seeds that grow in our subconscious mind and really
impact how we view ourselves, the world, our mindset.
And we truly are the average, like Jean Roane said said, of the five people we're 100% with.
And with that in mind, what advice would you advise
for people to be able to discern,
are these the right people in my network?
And what would you do about that?
Sounded out they were not.
This is diamond and I am complete.
So that's a great question.
And I do talk about this in, who's a great question. And I do talk about this in Who's in Your Room. Let me give
you the concept of who's in your room and then I'll answer your question directly. The
concept is imagine you live your life in one room and that that one room has only one door
and that one door is an enter only door so that when people come into your room or into
your life, they're there forever. You can't get them out. Now, many people say to me, well, that's
a metaphor. I've gotten people out of my life. And so, what I'd like all of you to do, Diamond,
what I'd like you to do, everyone who's listening, Daniel, Akade, everyone, I want you to think
of somebody that you got out of your life. And I want you to think about why you wanted them out of your life. And I want you
to think about what they did to make you want them out of your life. Now, you guys, you
don't have to say who it is, but do you have someone in mind?
Yes, I do. It's normally when someone's clashing my value when it comes to integrity.
I can't be around that person.
So I want you to think about something they did that made you want them out of your life
and then you get them out of your life.
So here's the deal.
If they're still in your head, they're still in your room and they'll be there for the
rest of your life because every decision you make in the future will be in part, anything that relates to
what they did, it'll be in part because of your experience with that person.
And so it is more than a metaphor.
One of the people we interviewed was Dr. Daniel Amen for the book.
And he said, people's fingerprints are all over your brain.
When you have a relationship with them, personal or professional, their fingerprints are all
over your brain for the rest of your life.
And so it's very important to be selective about the people that you let into your room.
And you, name big Kate, it's about values. You've got to get good with your values. You
have to know what your values are. And in the book, we have a simple values instrument
that you can use to kind of figure out what
your values are.
And there's a lot of stuff online to figure out what your values are.
And what you want to look for are people who have values that are resonant with yours.
They don't have to be the same values.
As a matter of fact, in so many ways, diversity is good.
And this is one of them.
You want people to have their values, but values that are not dissonant with yours,
incongruent with yours. And so you screen people based on their values and how their values interact
with your values. Part of the question was, what do you do with people who you finally want out of
your life or your room? And there's a couple of techniques in the book that we...
There's several, but two that I'll share here today. One is homeopathic doses and the other
is benign neglect. Benign neglect is like... We went to college with people that were friends,
high school friends, people that we really liked. And through benign neglect, the relationship dissipated.
And we like them, and that happened. Imagine if you did it with a plan. Imagine if you have a plan
for people that are problematic that are in your life, and you use benign neglect as a way of
pulling yourself away from them being active in your life. The other is homeopathic doses, where
when you have to interact with them, you interact with them in small doses. Let's say you're
going to go to a city where you've got this person that you maybe never really... They're
no longer a good fit in your life. And you know that if you show up there, it's going
to be on Facebook, and they're going to get mad that you didn't let them know.
Let them know the day before, hey, I'm going to be in town tomorrow.
I'd love to get together for a cup of coffee between 12 and 1.
And chances are pretty good that they may not even see the email that you've sent.
It's like, oh, I'm sorry I missed you.
Andy, if they do, then you've created parameters around the amount of time that you have to
spend with them.
And so, homeopathic doses, benign neglect, and one last thought.
Someone might be in your life like family members.
They might be in your life, but their baggage has to stay out.
This story is not in the book, but it will be in the second edition that we're
working on. And then I'll take another question. I had someone who told me that she had someone,
a family member who would come to family dinners and they'd have these big family dinners. And at
every family dinner, she said, this relative would throw in a verbal hand grenade into
the room and people would get upset and there'd be arguments and fighting and crying and she
just kept doing it.
And so the family got together without her and said, how are we going to deal with this?
And she actually talked about my book and different techniques and they decided, I love this, they decided that the next time
she did it, that everyone would look at her and say, oh, interesting. Okay. And then turn
back to their conversation, ignore it, no matter how hostile the statement or the grenade was, just ignore it.
And you know what happened?
That woman stopped coming to most of the dinners.
She was getting something out of winding people up.
And when she could no longer wind people up, it wasn't fun for her anymore.
And so she went to very, very few dinners and when she did and she threw in a grenade
and everyone was like, oh, interesting.
Okay.
And just ignored it.
Very effective technique.
You may be in my life, but your baggage has to stay on.
Wow.
What a timely advice before Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
Love that.
Thank you.
Thank you, Ivan.
Great question, Diamond, as well.
Appreciate that.
We're gonna go to Michael Butler here in a second.
Diamond, were you gonna jump back in?
This time.
S-A-D.
I actually purchased that book. And I'm using the techniques that you shared with some of
my friends because like you said, sometimes it's a family member.
So time is not someone that you can easily walk away from and it's important to develop
those coping mechanisms so you can protect your mindset and still have a productive life.
So thank you so much for your share.
I'm complete.
Thank you
Die yeah diamond reads a lot of books
It's always every person that we have as a guest
She's read the book and always inspires me because she has a great question
I think that's you had mentioned before she always has a great question from a book
She's read about a great host. So thank you diamond for sharing
I'm sure he's talking about tapping the house at the top,
but it takes over a million of us.
We've done some incredible guest interviews,
and we're so happy that I have this here,
so make sure you follow the club.
You can see all the stuff that's coming.
Tomorrow is actually International Women's Entrepreneurship Day,
so we're going to have a celebration there,
and that's going to be fantastic.
Tap the top here, Dr. Edmund Meiser.
You can visit his website, ivenmeiser. I can just tap the top. It's really simple
All I get to do is tap it goes right there
You see his blog says websites and make sure you're following all these incredible people on stage
I have not said that but follow everyone up here
they're just amazing and we're so happy that they're here and we also have a
Sorry, I forgot what I was gonna say.
I blanked out, see?
I was looking at who I have to call on next.
You can't do two things at one time,
but tap the top, go to Ivan Meisner's website,
follow everybody, go to social.
I would even say take a screenshot and tag Ivan Meisner.
I bet he'd be pretty happy.
Share a quote and put a hashtag in there.
I'd love to see that trending.
How cool would that be? And then we have Michael Butler was up next and just make sure we have about 15
minutes left. So we'll make sure we can get in.
We got Michael Butler, Katrina, Bollie Paul, then then Phil.
So Michael Butler over to you.
Yeah. Before you go, Michael Butler, if we can be mindful to go straight to the
question, that way we can intern as many as we can.
Thank you.
Absolutely. Absolutely. Hey, great brain tonight. Thank you, Dr. Before you go Michael Butler if we can be mindful to go straight to the question that way we can intern as many as we can
Thank you
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Thank you, Michael, and everyone, please call me Ivan.
So it's a great question.
Let me give you a technique that I talk about in a couple of my books, including Networking
Like a Pro, the second edition.
It's called the 24-7-30 follow-up system.
24-7-30.
Within 24 hours, reach out to somebody that you meet, either through a Zoom networking
event or in- Zoom networking event or
in-person networking event, reach out to them, send them an email or do something really
crazy like send them a card or something through the mail. I love Send Out Cards. I'm a client.
I don't sell Send Out Cards, but I love Send Out Cards. It's a great organization where
you can send a card by going online, but it sends it through the
mail. Nobody gets stuff through the mail anymore. So within 24 hours, send them a note saying,
hey, it was great meeting you. I enjoyed our conversation on whatever, and I hope our paths
cross again. That's it. Don't sell to them. Within seven days, connect with them on social
media. So when you're talking to them, find out what social media platforms do they use. Do they use Clubhouse? Do they use Facebook, LinkedIn,
Twitter? Where are they? Instagram. Find out what their favorite one is. And that's what's
important is find out what their favorite one is. And I learned this really from my kids,
because my eldest daughter, when she was 17, I would call her and she wouldn't answer. But if
I texted her, boom, she'd answer immediately.
And then I remember saying to her, honey, this is a phone that you have.
You can actually talk into it.
It's like, you can add there.
She said to me, dad, you're not only not with it, you're not even near it.
Like, okay, well, you still have to be home at 10 o'clock.
So then my next daughter was, if I called her nothing, if I texted her nothing, for
her it was WhatsApp.
I had to WhatsApp her.
And then my son, he didn't like WhatsApp, he'd text, he was a gamer, he is a gamer.
And so, I knew that Steam had an instant messaging platform on their games.
So I was in my 50s, I downloaded Steam, I bought a game so that
I could instant message my son and he would respond immediately. I tell you that because
you want to go where they are, not where you like to hang out, but where they like to hang
out. If you want to really network with this person, that's what you got to do. You go
where they are,
not where you necessarily are. And so, find out what social media platform they like the
most and go there. Now, I'm on all of them, but I probably am a little more active personally
on Facebook than the others on my public Facebook page. So, find out where they are, go there
within seven days and make comments, interact, don't
sell to them.
Then within 30 days, reach out to them and ask to do a one-to-one, where you can learn
more about them, find out about what they do.
Hopefully they're willing to meet with you and tell you what they do and hear what you
do.
And again, don't sell to them. Don't sell to them.
It's about building the relationship, not closing a sale. Look, even a blind squirrel
can find a nut. You'll fall over business. It'll happen from time to time. But what you
want to do is build relationships with people. And so 24-7-30 follow-up system, it's about building a relationship
with people. Great question.
Incredible. Thank you, Michael Butler. Awesome. This is the master of publishing and networking
as well. Michael Butler there. Thank you, Ivan Meisner. Click the top, you can follow
along. We have about 12 minutes left. So check out his website.
Up next, we have Bolly Paul, then Katrina, then Phil.
We'll see what we can get through.
So Bolly Paul, over to you, then Katrina.
Make sure we are getting straight to the question.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, the problem is I'm taking too long with the answers.
No, no, you are good.
I'm taking too long with the answers. No, no, you are good. Yeah, no, no.
Chase, I did this research and I really, my question is, is this, I remember Charlie Lawson,
one of us, he was preaching the group of Givers Ken and the history of it. And it was inspiring.
And what struck me was that you create that philosophy
in the mid to late 80s,
when the whole of the sales world
and the financial world, everyone was taking.
You know, it was, greed was good in the movies
and all the stocks, the Wall Street and all that.
And everything was about taking.
Sales was extremely fashionably tend
to closing the deal and all that.
And what you went the other way.
And instead of taking it to people to
give. Where did you get that inspiration from? Because that was a masterstroke. Well, I didn't like the networks that I was going to where everyone was trying to sell
to me and I just felt like I was being slimed and had to go home and get a shower. And so
I realized that the best way to get referrals was to help people. And this philosophy of
givers gain is kind of the evolution of that.
Your network, in my opinion, your network is a beacon of hope in a sea of fear. The
world's a crazy place. When you have people around you that are there to help you and
support you, magic happens. And to me, giver's gain is more than a phrase. It's a way of living one's life.
It's a perspective to view and interact with the world. It's an attitude, not an expectation.
And when it's applied properly, it'll change your life. And when it changes enough lives,
it'll change the world. I really believe in the philosophy of Givers Gain, and I have
seen it work, particularly over the last two years
more than ever before.
Hope that answers your question.
Thank you.
Incredible.
Yeah.
Thank you, Billy Paul.
Thank you, Ivan.
Katrina, you are up next.
We have about five minutes left.
So Katrina, over to you
Creating an online B&I where it doesn't have to be chapter specific to a location. So for instance, like I've been able to, because of the Zoom now, I've been able to go to other
chapters in different parts of the world and we've been able to network because our businesses
are online also. So do you see like a different type of BNI additionally being created for
just online businesses that don't need to be brick and mortar or in the area close to
other business owners to just have this? I hope that makes sense.
It does. And Nina, is it within the realm of possibility?
Yes.
But it's a little more challenging for a couple of reasons, some of which you might not be
aware of.
But one of the things that we really believe in is the power of meeting in person.
And so if it's not geographically based, it's going to be very difficult to meet in person.
And maybe that'll change someday with, like like I said with the holographic images. But BNI is locally owned and operated. And because
it's locally owned and operated, there's an aspect of the business that people who join
a group that is just global, that the company then would in effect be competing
with its own local owners. And so we have to get past that issue and there are ideas
to get past that issue that will make it viable. I think it's inevitable that BNI is going
to be a platform, a platform that is both online and in person. And it's hard to predict
when that transition of mostly online is going to take place permanently, but I And it's hard to predict when that transition of mostly online is going to take
place permanently, but I think it's inevitable. As I said in that article on entrepreneur,
that it's inevitable that technology will... It's going to change things. We're going to
be disrupted. And I want BNI to lead the disruption, not be disrupted. A lot of people don't know, but
Kodak invented the digital camera. They invented the digital camera and they licensed it out to
other companies. How'd that work out for them? There was an executive with Kodak who said,
you know, besides who's going to... They didn't want to compete with their film processing
business. And one of the executives said, besides who's going to look at photographs on a computer? Nobody
wants photographs on a computer. And they were not thinking ahead. So we're trying to
think ahead. We are taking that into consideration, but it's a little more complex than people
might recognize at a glance. I hope that answers your question. It was a good question. to make extra money, you've got to check out The Side Hustle Show. With hundreds of actionable episodes to choose from, you'll learn what's working now from real people
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