Founder's Story - What You Must Believe to Becoming a Successful Business Owner | Ep. 60 with the Leading Mindset and Behavior Expert, John Assaraf

Episode Date: December 3, 2021

John Assaraf is an entrepreneur, author, actor and CEO of NeuroGym, a company dedicated to using the most advanced technologies and evidence-based brain training methods to help individuals unleash their fullest potential and maximize their results. He is also a philanthropist and brain researcher who is best recognized for his podcasts, lectures, and his New York Times best-selling book Innercise: The New Science to Unlock Your Brain's Hidden Power. To learn more about unlocking your brain for success, you can visit: https://www.johnassaraf.com/ For more info on guests and future episodes visit KateHancock.comOur Sponsors:* Check out PrizePicks and use my code FOUNDERS for a great deal: www.prizepicks.com* Check out Rosetta Stone and use my code TODAY for a great deal: www.rosettastone.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to Inspired by Her, the podcast that will give you the inspiration, motivation, and tips for success from some of the top executives, CEOs, and influencers from around the globe. With your host, serial entrepreneur, and named one of the most influential Filipina in the world, Kate Hancock. Well, Jaina, if you tell me, what was the city or town you grew up in like? I was born in Tel Aviv, Israel, and I lived there till I was five years old. And then I moved to Montreal, Canada, and I lived there from five to 19. So for 12 years, and I'm sorry, yeah, for five to 19. Now you can tell I'm jet lagged. You know, I lived there for 14 years. And then I moved to Toronto, Canada to get into real estate when I was 19. I lived there for about seven years. And then I moved to Indiana to start my first real estate company called Remax.

Remax. Yeah. So if you can, what kind of kid are you in high school? I was in the top 1% of my class that made the other 99% possible, which means I was in the bottom of my class. I was in the bottom 1% that made the other 99% possible. Hated school, failed English, failed math, got kicked out of school numerous times, got in trouble with school, got in trouble with the law. I was a troublemaker as a kid and did a lot of things I'm not proud of. pivoting reasons for me having to change my life and fortunately, you know, finding some wonderful mentors who were able to give me some guidance that I desperately needed. Can you tell me that day when you decided to do that pivot to what is that if you can recall that moment? Yeah, it was a very, very clear moment.

It was actually right around March, believe it or not, 1980. I remember the date so well for specific reasons. So I was 19 and I was getting into a lot of trouble with the law and my family knew that I was either gonna die or go to jail. One of the two things were going to happen. And my brother, who was concerned for my well-being, had arranged for a lunch meeting with a man that he was teaching tennis to in Toronto, Canada.

And this man's name was Alan Brown. And so I took the train from Montreal to Toronto to have lunch with this guy. And, you know, at lunch, and this guy by the name, his name was Alan Brown. He had seven or eight real estate offices, 400 or 500 real estate agents. He was a real estate developer, very, very successful individual. And, you know, at lunch, this guy asked me why I was doing the things that I was doing. And I said, I don't know, I just want to make some money. He says, well, why don't you do it legally and honestly? I said, well, I have a job. I'm making $1.65 an hour. I can't make ends

meet making $1.65 an hour. He said, well, that's just because you're not using your brain the way you should be using your brain. You're a genius. You just don't know it. He said, well, that's just because you're not using your brain the way you should be using your brain. You're a genius. You just don't know it. He said, everybody's a genius and most people don't know it. And he asked me, you know, what were some of the goals and dreams that I had? And at the time, my goal and dream was to move out of my parents' house to buy a car and to be able to get a job that I made more than $1.65 an hour at. I was working in the shipping department for Philips Electronics. And he said, what are some of your bigger goals and dreams?

I said, I didn't have any. And so he actually gave me this document to fill out. And the first question was, at what age do you want to retire? And I was like, I'm 19. What do you mean retire? I like to get my career started. I'm not looking to retire. The second question was, how much net worth do you want to have upon retirement?

And I remember asking him, I said, Mr. Brown, what does net worth mean? I had no idea what net worth meant. And I had a whole bunch of these questions yeah and you know what kind of lifestyle do you want to live what kind of charitable contributions do you want to make and so I wrote down you know I want to I want to travel the world first class I want to you know live in a four-bedroom home I want to drive a Mercedes Benz I want nice Italian clothes except I wrote out all this stuff that was just in my mind,

in my head. I was just imagining this stuff. And he looked at what I wrote down and he asked me a question, a poignant question. And he said to me, he said, listen, every one of these goals and dreams are achievable. He said, but I'm going to ask you one question and the answer to this question will determine whether you achieve every one of these things or not and I was thinking in the back of my mind I was thinking sure yeah one question is going to determine whether I achieve this amazing lifestyle and so he leaned over and he said are you interested in achieving all of these things or are you committed and I remember you know thinking to myself, interested or committed, like, what's the difference? So I asked him, I said, Mr. Brown,

what's the difference? And he said to me, he said, listen, he said, if you're interested, you will do what's easy and convenient. But if you are committed, you will do whatever it takes. He said, if you're interested, you'll allow your current circumstances and your conditioning to control you. But if you aren't committed, you will upgrade your identity to match this destiny. You'll upgrade your beliefs. You'll upgrade your skills. You'll upgrade your knowledge so that you become the type of person capable of achieving the income required to live this lifestyle. And so I don't know what got into me, but I leaned back over to him. I said, well, I'm committed. And he said, in that

case, I'll be your mentor. And I remember being excited and saying to him, I said, that's great, Mr. Brown. What's a mentor? I didn't know, right? I was ignorant. I was young. And he said, a mentor is somebody who shows you what to do to achieve was young and he said a mentor is somebody who shows you what to do to achieve your goals and dreams a mentor or somebody who shows you what not to do to save you time energy and money and a mentor is there to lift you up you know and a mentor is there to pick you up and and so my life changed that day because two weeks later I moved from Montreal to Toronto I moved in Montreal to Toronto. I moved in with my brother.

I went to real estate school for five weeks. I passed the test. And then I got a job working for Mr. Brown on commission only. And what's interesting is I didn't have any sales skills. I didn't have any management skills. I didn't have any marketing skills. I didn't have any skills. But I was willing to work. And over the next 18 months at 20 years old, 19 and 20 years old, I made $180,000

selling on commission only by learning what he taught me step by step, do this, don't do that. And I just showed up and did it I didn't ask why I just said what do I do and he said this is how what you do this is how you do it this is when you do it and I just followed his formula period end of story and you know that was 40 years ago and I mean are you still in contact with him you know what's interesting is after I worked for mr. Brown for almost two years I went and traveled around the world for 14 15 months and then when I came back I went to work for another real estate company called Remax which was just getting

started in Toronto and I lost track of mr. Brown and what's interesting is even when I went back to Toronto after I moved track of Mr. Brown and what's interesting is even when I went back to Toronto after I moved to Indiana to start my own company several years later I tried to reach him and I was never able to get a hold of him and something interesting happened last year on one of the trainings that I did you know like an interview like this I talked about this story and my office got a call from a gentleman I don't remember the guy's name this was last year and this gentleman said to Kristen my head of client care hey I think that mr. Asher off was talking

about my father and and so Kristen said to me hey John this guy called in and he thinks that the Alan Brown story that you tell was his father. I said, yeah, yeah, OK, sure. And I left it alone, never followed up. And about two weeks later, the guy called again and said, did you did you speak to Mr. Astro? I have to tell him that I think that's my father.

I'd love to talk to him. So I finally called this kid up and he lived in New York. He was going to medical school. And I started telling him the story. That sounds like my York. He was going to medical school. And I started telling him the story. He goes, that sounds like my father. My mother's name is Lori. I said, oh my God, I know your mother. And I said, is your father still alive? He said, yeah, like many years ago, he retired and moved to Florida. So he's living in Florida. And so I said, can you please put me in touch with your father and mother? I'd love to thank him because I haven't been able to talk to him for 40 years to thank him.

And so he gets us on a call, and I'm talking to Alan Brown and Lori and thank Mr. Brown and remind him of the story. And he says, oh, my God, I had no idea that, you know, I even told you that, you know, I asked you that question, are you interested, are you committed? I asked everybody that question, are you interested, are you committed? I asked everybody that question. It may change my life. I mean, you helped change my life. And as a result of what you taught me then, before I set any goal to achieve, you know, I always ask myself, Johnny, are you setting this goal because you're interested? Are you setting this goal because you are committed to doing whatever it takes to achieve it?

And he goes, oh, wow. Well, thanks for letting me know. And he's got to be in his 80s now. But I had a chance to talk to him and thank him. And I actually got a picture of him just last year for the first time in 40 years. So it was so different. Wow. What a blessing.

Can you imagine if you have not met Mr. Brown? Yeah. Yeah. I hate to think of the repercussions of my behaviors back then and not having this off-ramp to take because I know where my life was headed and so did my family. Wow. Well, thank you for sharing that. John, can you tell us about your first business? You said, how old were you? You started, were you doing a franchise at REMAX? Is that what you do? I bought the franchising rights to REMAX for the state of Indiana. So I was a real estate agent for Mr. Brown first,

then I was a real estate agent for Remax. And then the franchising rights for Remax for the state of Indiana became available. So I bought it and I became partners with two of the most successful sub-franchisors in the world, Walter Schneider and Frank Polzler, and they taught me the art of franchises and the art of franchising. And over the next 10 years, I proceeded to open up 85 offices in Indiana. Went from a startup to opening up 85 offices, recruiting 1,200 salespeople, plus all the staff for those 85 offices. You know, the franchisees were responsible to recruit the staff, and we went from zero sales to $4.5 billion a year in sales.

We sold over, you know, $55 billion in the 20 years that I was there, we paid the agents over $1.5 billion in commissions. And that was my first business. And I built it over 10 years. And then I had somebody run it for me for the next 10 years before I sold it in 2007. And then I did my second business with a group of friends. Wow. Jen, how did you scale that business? So, you know, it means to be, I mean, because our club title is what it takes to run a million dollar business. I mean, you went from zero to million to billion. I mean, paying commission of billion dollars to your agent, that's an amazing achievement. So how did you scale that business? The answer is slowly, initially. Let me explain. The art of franchising is really

understanding that what drives a franchise and why people invest $25,000, $50,000, $500,000 for a franchise is because somebody else has figured out the process. So you're paying for the process. You're paying for the systems. You're paying for the masterminding that happens as 1, 10, 100, 500, 500, 1000 franchisees are doing things in their marketplaces. And they're figuring things out. When markets are good, when markets are bad, and small markets and big markets and midsize markets, and, you know, so you're figuring stuff

out. So when we got to Indiana, Indiana, there were two other people that tried to build Remax in Indiana before us. And they failed. And so what we did initially is we came up with a strategy for a leveraged model, which means we were going to go slow first so we can go fast later. And that means that we had to design and build, you know, our systems and processes from the ground up in Indiana because we also had to rebuild a brand that was tarnished for about seven, eight years by other people that had owned the franchising rights for Remax in Indiana. So in the first year, we only opened up,

I think it was 10 or 12 offices. And then we really worked on those to get some, you know, some momentum. And then we opened up like 20 the next year, and then we opened up 40 the following year, and then we opened up the balance and and so how did we scale you know we scaled by focusing on quality versus quantity first so we focused on getting the very very best people to open up the offices to run the offices and that means that we said no to a lot of people that wanted to jump on the bandwagon because Remax was doing well elsewhere and so it to a lot of people that wanted to jump on the bandwagon because RE-MAX was doing well elsewhere. And so it was a process of slow down

so we could pick up speed later, right? So there's a saying in the military that goes, slow is smooth and smooth is fast. And so when we focused on processes and systems that were scalable, we were able to, you know, grow with the right people with a leveraged model that also allowed us to do a few unique things. in the RE-MAX system, it was initially a 100% concept where the agents kept 100% of the commissions. Well, when we opened up Indiana, we actually did a 95-5 where we kept 5% of the commissions and the agents kept 95%. But then we also did something

that wasn't being done very well at the time in the RE- Remax operations around the country was we implemented a fairly high shared advertising fee that had an escalation every year. So for example, every agent every month would invest $100 into the shared ad fund. Then year two would be $120, year three $140, year three, you know, four, five, and six would be up to $150, $160, $170. And we use that money to buy billboards, to buy radio, to buy television, instead of, you know, each individual agent having to spend only their own money on advertising and promotion so we were quickly able to get onto television and blow our competition out of the water we became the

number one real estate company in the state uh within five years of startup and there have been two companies there that have been actually one company was there for over 100 years another company was there for 75 years and we were able to be the number one real estate company in the state in five years because we devised a strategy where the sum of the individuals equated to more than what one individual or one company could do so when you have agents that are participating in the success of the company then then you're able to scale faster. So this comes back down to spending a lot of time thinking about strategy versus spending your time

implementing tactics that may work for a day or two, but doesn't have the long-term vision of the impact in a year or three or five. So I was playing the long game versus the short game right off the bat. Wow. John, you're so ahead of your game. And where do you think, where did you get all that strategy? I mean, did you have a mentor back then?

I mean, not everyone, even if you buy into franchising rights, not everyone is successful. A lot of people fail, but you're like hitting out there well here's here's the the thing that you'll discover not just in in franchising but in in any in anything if you take a look at and and I'm going to give you a variety of different things to think about, weight loss, Rubik's Cube, building a business, relationships. I'm going to give you four obscure things. And here's my question for you. If you are committed to losing weight and keeping it off, does the process exist? Yes. weight and keeping it off does the process exist yes if you are committed

to solving and let me show you something hold on I'm just gonna need to lean over well give me one quick second it'll be worth it I'm gonna lean over I'm going to show you for those who are watching okay all right I'm gonna come back so if you're committed to solving the two by two Rubik's Cube can you hop onto YouTube right now and follow a step-by-step instruction yes if you're committed to solving the three by three can you do it if you go and follow the algorithm on YouTube yes what about a five by five yes what about your huge monster Rubik's Cube now I use the Rubik's Cube as an example because the algorithm the how-to exists I use relationship success because the how-to

algorithm exists I use business success because the how to generate more leads more more sales more profits all of that exists so the issue isn't in the franchise process doesn't exist here's the big problem even when people have the process many people will fail to implement the process absolutely right so we're not we're not short of a process. We're talking about business growth. There's only three things you really need to get really outstanding at in business initially, and that is generate leads, convert leads, and then nurture the ones that don't convert

into paying customers sometime in the future, and then get referrals and repeat business. Master that, you'll have enough money to scale your business. Don't master that and you will suffer forever. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. I love how your Rubik's Cube, I got to tell you this story. My 13-year-old practiced it watching YouTube and his fastest to fix the four by four is eight seconds. Yeah.

There you go. Strategy said connotation algorithm. And I don't know. He's this kid. It's fascinating. Yeah. There, there are kids,

you know, Kate that solve the Rubik's cube, you know, behind their backs, blindfolded. They look at it once, put a blindfold on, take it behind their backs blindfolded they look at it once put a blindfold on take it behind their back and because the algorithm exists of where everything

is the colors you know on the room so they know exactly which way to turn because it's an algorithm business growth is an algorithm making money is an algorithm and the algorithm consists of some knowledge and skills and application. And the challenge with, for example, the Rubik's Cube or people building a business, they've just never mastered the algorithm. It's not that the algorithm doesn't exist. It does. Right. The reason I show these Rubik's Cubes, the big monster one that I have in my hand right now, this is like your billion-dollar-plus algorithm you need to learn or somebody needs to learn. This, if you want to build a $50,000, $100,000 business, it's a lot easier. There's not that many moving parts.

It's a lot easier. And so the thing comes back down to where we started earlier. If you're committed, you'll learn the algorithm. If you're interested, you won't. If you ask how many people have tried to solve the Rubik's Cube, you know, 99 people out of 100 have tried to solve it, and only one or two have ever solved it. That's true.

Not because it's not solvable. It's because they haven't committed to learning the algorithm. And when people ask me about business growth, I've coached over 10,000 business owners to success into the billions of dollars in sales a year. So I've got clients who've generated six figures a year to a billion a year. So I've got clients who've generated, you know, six figures a year to a billion a year. And it's all a function of, you know, deciding what the goal is that you have, and then learning the algorithm for that, because all of it's already solvable. Unless you're innovating something new, like Uber, unless you're innovating and creating something new, that the algorithm doesn't exist, and you are the pioneer, you're innovating and creating something new that the

algorithm doesn't exist and you are the pioneer you're you are the first then you just need to learn what the algorithm are is most people don't have a blueprint for business growth just like they don't have an algorithm for a Rubik's Cube they don't have it so they they they fumble and try to do it versus just saying why did you stop and slow down to learn you know the components of it so that i could just implement a paint by number system and in the absence of of a paper number system there was some research done a few years ago around why business owners fail. And a lot of people initially thought that it was because they run out of money. I think it's 85% or 87% of business owners fail within three years.

And you know what the number one answer was why they actually failed in their business? It wasn't the lack of money. It was they had lost hope. They lost hope that their business could be a success, even though there were other businesses just like theirs that was successful. It doesn't matter if you're a coach or a consultant or you had a shoe store. They couldn't figure out the algorithm because they were trying to figure out on their own. It's available out there. It's already been done. Yes. Now, John, how do you retrain your mind to be committed to your vision, to your goal? Well, as soon as we're getting into,

you know, retraining our brain, I think everybody is keenly aware that we have the conscious part of our brain, which is, you know, the part of our brain that can choose our goals, the part of our brain that can imagine the part of our brain that can, you know, pick up and persist and have tenacity and resolve. But the challenge for most adults, not children, but adults, is their subconscious mind has got a certain conditioning around several keys. Number one is their identity. And they don't actually see themselves at the subconscious level being a successful business owner, okay,

at the level that they want to be at. They see themselves at the level they're actually at. Number two is the beliefs that they have, and there's something called implicit beliefs. And those are your subconscious beliefs around what you really feel you're worth. They're your subconscious beliefs around what you really believe you deserve. There's a subconscious expectation point, a financial set point that we are used to earning versus an explicit set point of what we would like to earn. And so even though we have a vision for a business or the income or the lifestyle that we

want, if our subconscious conditioning doesn't match that vision, then it's like having one foot on the gas and one foot on the brakes. And so part of what I teach all of my students and clients is how do you upgrade your identity to match your destiny? How do you upgrade your belief system? How do you let go of disempowering beliefs how do you develop new habits okay that drive 97 of your behavior uh versus you know um just having vision and goals

and dreams so when we're talking about retraining or reconditioning the brain we're actually talking about developing new neural networks and pathways and then reinforcing those so they override the old patterns and it's like a home renovation plan but this is a brain renovation plan and what we have to do is understand that the way that our brain develops new habits is repetition is the mother of learning and skill but spaced repetition is also what creates the firing of certain neurons and the rewiring of the brain and we know that it takes between 66 days and 365 days from a purely neuroscience perspective to create and reinforce a new pattern so that it actually overrides an old pattern in our brain

66 to 365 days and so for somebody who says I'm gonna have a vision I have goals this is what I need to believe these are the habits that I need and you do this intellectual exercise You know of what you need that doesn't translate into a neural network at the subconscious level that has been created reinforced and This is why so many people start and stop and so many people start and sabotage it's not because they don't want to, but when you understand the mechanics of your brain and you understand that we are conditioned to avoid change,

we're conditioned to avoid something that I call the switch cost, the cost of switching from your current self and your beliefs and patterns and identity and habits to the new beliefs and habits that are required to achieve the goals that you want. We are cognitively lazy, not because we're actually lazy, it's because our brain wants to conserve energy as its number two highest priority. Number one is safety. Number two is conservation of energy and change requires

energy. And unless we have the skills to recognize the patterns and the emotions that they create to sustain our current conditioning, we don't want to change. So it really requires an upgrading of our knowledge, but also our skill so that change becomes more comfortable than uncomfortable. Wow. Thank you for sharing that. That a lot dan yeah i know dan has struggle of selling stuff what he's offering but if it's someone else owns it he's he has no problem selling it what is wrong with his mindset john um well there's nothing wrong with his mindset, but there must be something, you know, there must be something triggering at the subconscious level around selling his own stuff. So, you know, he may have an identity or a belief that when I try to sell my own stuff um that maybe makes me look salesy uh and if i'm too salesy if people see me to be salesy they won't like me and if they don't like me uh then that's gonna

affect my self-esteem and self-worth and so it's easier for me to sell other people's stuff and promote that than promoting my own stuff. So there may be, you know, some beliefs around what selling his own stuff means. There may be some fears of being embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, judged, rejected if he sells his own stuff. And then that's going to affect self-image and self-worth, which is going to affect motivation. And he's going to say, nah, I really don't want to do that. There's also one other thing. It's called self-image and self-worth which is gonna affect motivation and he's gonna say now I really don't want to do that there's also one other thing it's called disappointment avoidance and so humans prefer to master disappointment versus

mastering change or mastering rejection and so mastering disappointment basically says that it's easier for me to master not selling my own stuff and living with that disappointment than it is for me to change and become who I need to become in order to sell my own stuff. So there may be a few things that are going on. There's also something called the law of secondary gain, which says that by not selling my own stuff, I'm actually benefiting myself somehow. And my number one, the number one thing that I usually find is how I'm benefiting is I'm safe. Well, Dan is laughing. Dan, is that correct? It could be. It could be.'s there's a lot there's a few

things in there i think i mean def it definitely is i don't know if it's the last one but i'm thinking it actually might be the first one and some part of the second one and maybe even some part of the third one so the good thing though is this this is the good thing out of all this i did join your breakthrough challenge so i'm i this, I did join your breakthrough challenge. So I'm very excited to join your breakthrough challenge today, which we put a link up because I know you only do this a few times a year and it's coming up, I believe on December 2nd. So I put the link at the top, you can join the business breakthrough challenge. And if people are on social media, they can actually message you or DM you business to your IG and they can get the link there. But I put at the

top, if you're on clubhouse, it's right there. All you gotta do is tap it. I just joined it. I joined the VIP as well. So I'm really excited because I do have that problem. Like Kate said, I need to retrain my brain. And I love all the things you're talking about getting leads and people. I mean, this, this is the stuff that's a core, the things that we're're talking about in this in this club are all the things that people need so thank you for that so people can actually tap the top join the business breakthrough challenge this is the master class with john assaraf um kate i'm gonna hand it back to you thank you yes and can i can i just share something with you uh daniel um just just i I love frameworks and one of the things I learned about franchising is they're really good at giving you

frameworks you know for what to do and and what I've discovered in in business growth specifically is many many years ago when I used to teach business owners how to grow their companies I taught them all of the how to grow your business you know how do you you know how do you do marketing right how do you create sales process maps and how do you really do the logistical way of building a business and it was great and people thought it was phenomenal but some people would apply it and some people wouldn't. And I was fascinated with how is it that I can give somebody a blueprint to build a $10 million business, and they can pay me 10 grand, and they wouldn't apply it. And here's

what I discovered. And this happened several times in my career with people that I helped. And that was unless you help people upgrade their mindset at the same time that you help them upgrade their skill set and their action set, that was part of the combination. If you left any one of those three things out, people would think that was great, but they wouldn't take action consistently. If you give somebody the skills without the mindset or the action set, they won't take action consistently. And here's the one thing that we all know is true, whether it's getting into shape, whether it's having a great relationship or whether it's growing your business is consistency

is key. And it's not just action, right? It's you have, you've got to take the right action consistently in the right order at the right time. And if taking those right actions become habitual, now we have what I call is instead of possibilities, we have predictability. Right. So I want to take theory and not make it possible for people. I've worked on how do I create models to create predictability? And that's what franchising actually does, is they give you a model that will give you predictability. Now, what most franchisees don't work on, and this is the one thing that I did work on with my agents, we went from zero to 1.2 billion in five years. And then we went from 1.2 to 4 and a half billion in the next three years. Do you know how? I worked on the agent's inner game, the identity, the beliefs, the habits,

the perceptions, perspectives. We worked on their inner game and we actually helped our agents go from an average of $38,000 a year in average income to $120,000 a year average income in a real estate industry where the average income at the time was like $28,000. So mindset plus skill set plus action set in the right environment that fosters growth and change is really what creates predictability and sustainability where you can continue to grow. And I've used that in every single one of my businesses. We did the exact same thing with Bamboo.com. We went from zero to 10 million a month in revenue. On the ninth month, we went public on NASDAQ in the first year. And we applied the same thing for mindset, the same thing for skill set, the same thing for action set. And that's what I've done

with over 10,000 business owners. I can develop the formula of the inner game plus the outer game. Wow, it's fascinating because months ago, we have a room here that they're called mindset versus skill set, which one comes first, right? And we're arguing into like a chicken and egg, but then you need all three with action set, like you said, then you get predictability. That's how you scale your business. Now, John, some people get the best action set. They don't have the mindset. Would you just

advise someone to partner someone that has the action set and mindset? What do you do? Because some people are just so vision and lots of dreams, but, can they develop the skill set? Can they develop the action set? There are only four things that hold people back. If we're looking at, you know, my specialty is behavioral neuroscience. And so when we take a look at what really holds somebody back, all right, if we were to break it down into four things, well, we know that limiting black or too this or too that or not enough of this or that. If you have limiting beliefs, right, they will drive behavior that limit you. Agree? Yeah. So that's number one.

So there are hundreds of limiting beliefs that can hold you back. Now, what is a limiting belief in your brain a limited belief in your brain from a neuroscience and neuro anatomy perspective is nothing more than a set okay of neural patterns that have been reinforced and have moved from conscious patterns to subconscious patterns that are automatic and beliefs are the lens by which your brain actually sees the world and it deletes and distorts things that are not aligned with your beliefs period and and so limiting beliefs could be holding people back even if they have the knowledge and the skills number two

is self image self-worth self-esteem those fall into the same bucket so if you have a vision and goals and even the skills to achieve certain thing then that's gonna hold you back because if you can't at a subconscious level, if you don't feel you are worthy or deserve the success that you say you want, your self-image is going to knock you down. If you have goals that are bigger than your current self-image, self-worth, identity, your identity will win 99 times out of 100. And you will sabotage your success along the way

if you don't upgrade your identity to match the vision and goals that you have. And then number three is going to be you just lack the knowledge and skills. You have the vision, you have the goals, but if you don't have the knowledge and the skill of what to do, how to do it, when to do it, that actually triggers, our brain operates on networks and triggers operating either together or not. And so let's say that you have a vision that activates your reward circuit, but you're lacking the knowledge and skill of how to achieve that vision or the

goals that you have, then what happens is you're actually activating your doubt and uncertainty circuit. And that means you're going to have one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake. And when we have a lack of certainty, when we have a lack of the skills of how to achieve the goal, then we move into a safety mechanism triggered in our brain so that we don't embarrass ourself. And this can be directly linked to fears of being embarrassed or shamed or ridiculed, judged or rejected. And we will do more to avoid failing. We'll do more to avoid pain and discomfort than being embarrassed or ashamed or ridiculed or judged or unloved. We will do more to avoid that than we will to gain pleasure. We are wired biologically for that to happen. So that brings up the fear trigger. And we have

these two parts of our brain. is like what I call is the Einstein part of our brain that can imagine right Einstein was famous for using his imagination to imagine circumstances and scenarios and he would be able to play out you know different concepts in his brain well it's easy for us to use our imagination center in our brain to imagine what our business or life could be like. But the emotional part of our brain is what I call is the Frankenstein's monster part of our brain. So the left prefrontal cortex is Einstein, the right prefrontal cortex is Frankenstein. And Frankenstein's job is to go,

but what if you fail? What if this doesn't work? What if you lose money? What if you waste your time? What if it doesn't work like last time? Don't you know that when Mary tried it, you know, this is what happened to her and she was so embarrassed. She doesn't even want to be in business anymore. So now we have the emotional management part of our brain that very few people have ever been trained on managing fear. But other people learn to use fear as their fuel for success. Right? So how is that that fear can trap somebody into inaction and fear could fuel somebody into taking massive actions. The same neurochemical of cortisol or epinephrine or norepinephrine. And here's what I'm here to tell you. Every brain functionally works the same.

Let me repeat that. Every brain functionally works the same. But if you're not a very good operator of your brain because you haven't trained it, then guess what? Now you're a victim of ignorance. Now, just remind yourself that ignorance doesn't mean you're stupid. Ignorance just means you don't know. So you're losing by default of not knowing no differently than you don't solve the Rubik's cube, not because you can't. You just don't know how to. So if you're serious and you're committed, you learn how to. How do I manage my emotion of fear better? How do I upgrade my beliefs and my identity to match my destiny? How do I let go of disempowering, destructive, maybe even negative habits? And how do I replace them with constructive,

empowering, positive habits? That's a skill. That's a skill. And so the how-to we know but you're not going to do it unless you're committed because your brain is competing to keep you comfortable versus changing and we don't like paying the switch cost of change wow that's amazing someone made a comment here doing live that you're winning the game of fears phenomenal of engaging thought patterns. So it's fascinating, John, because I myself don't have fears, really any fear, but Dan has a lot of fears. I was like, what the hell you said? We all have the same brain. So how can you? Well, we weren't born with any fear, right? Let me give you, let me, we can all play a little game right now and have a little bit of fun. So I'm going to, I'm going to give you a little scenario. I want you all to imagine this scenario, wherever you are in the world right now.

I want you to imagine that somebody knocks on your door and it's a friend. You say, who is it? And your friend says, hey, it's me. It's Joe. It's Mary. It's Sally. It's Harry. And you say, hey, the door is open. Come on in. And I want you to imagine they come in right now and there's two other people with them and they're holding a 300-foot white albino python. And they're walking this 300-pound, 10-, 12-foot albino python towards you. Now, here's what I know. People that are listening right now or watching us, there are some people that have already felt the fear of a snake,

a 10 foot, 300 pound albino, and they want to run for the door if that's a real scenario. And there's other people that are going, oh my God, what a great selfie opportunity. Can you bring the snake over here? I want to show everybody the snake. Now, if you're watching right now and you can type in wherever there's a chat, maybe, ask the snake, which one are you? Are you bring the snake over here right now and let me take a selfie? Or are you the type of person that's like, run, snake, right? Which one are you the type of person that's like run snake right which one are you and and i'm going to give you the lesson in just a second all right maybe daniel kate tell me tell me what kind of feedback we're getting right and i don't know if we can yeah so yeah so one run one is she said she'll pet the snake there you go okay so so here's what you'll find. You're going to find that about 80%, 70, 80% of people are like run away from snakes and maybe 20, 30% are like, yeah,

let's take a selfie, pet the snake. Now here's the question. What is happening in somebody's brain? Okay. That's causing them to want to run. If I say, imagine a tarantula walking up your arm towards your face. Imagine in your mind somebody taking their fingers and just going down the chalkboard where it's making that screechy sound. Now, some people, just as I talked about it, they're like, oh, stop, stop, John. I didn't do anything. All I did was talk about fingers going across a chalkboard and making that sound that causes you to feel a certain thing. Well, obviously, something is happening in your brain. some people the word snake equals right fear pain panic danger and for others the meaning that we have at the

subconscious level causes a feeling of bring the snake over here let me take a picture because I have pleasure associated with a snake. So here is the lesson. The meaning that we learned to give anything while we were growing up determines how we feel, and how we feel is an automatic trigger in our subconscious mind. All emotions, let me repeat, all emotions are triggered in the subconscious mind based on the neural patterns and memories and associations we have with that thing, that person, past or present or future. So it's never the thing. It's the meaning we have around the thing. And our brain, okay, is one of the number one priorities of our brain is to predict, to predict for safety first, to predict on how to avoid pain and discomfort first, to predict, okay, what may happen in the next second or in the future. But in that prediction,

okay, based on the memory that's in the subconscious mind, our brain releases the neurochemical associated with the prediction, not the reality, the prediction. So if the association with what it is that I want to do or what it is that I can do has got a disempowering or a potentially painful, whether it's painful physically, financially, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, if there's any pain potential associated with what it is that I want to do, then the neurochemicals and the breaks of behavior go on. We hope you enjoyed the show. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. And visit katehancock.com so you don't miss out on the next episode.