Free With Ads - Event Horizon

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

This week we watched the scariest space movie since that one about alien, the 1997 sci-fi horror film Event Horizon about a spaceship that goes to the worst place ever. Tune in next week when our movie will be... Predator. ----- Come to the Ice House in Pasadena on May 21st to see Matt Lieb do stand up. Tickets here!  You should read Predator: Bloodshed! Also get Baby Garfield comic by Jordan Morris, out on June 10th. Pre-order for a signed copy. bit.ly/coolgarf See Jordan at these events near you! May 29-31 GalaxyCon in Nashville June 6-7 Toronto Art Festival Thanks to everyone who participated in this year's MaxFunDrive! Still want to get in on the action? Follow this link to support this show (and get in on our limited-time keychain sale to benefit the Center for Constitutional Rights): https://maximumfun.org/joinfreewithads

This is free with ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay HBO max 12 bucks a month for a bunch of artsy horror movies when you could go online for free and watch an artsy horror movie with the ultimate visual aesthetic? Nine Inch Nails Music Video meets Trippy Screen Saver. I'm Jordan Morris. I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Event Horizon,

the 1997 cult classic about a spaceship that goes to hell because it masturbated. With us as always. is the super producer, the he freak. Matt Leeb hitting us with those cosmically horrific drops. What happened to you, Ron? We want to need eyes to say. Just say the line. Just do it the way we wanted.

I thought you were going to pick the one where the guy pulls the plug on his suit and goes, I'm coming back, motherfucker. I was looking for that as well. But I was afraid that we weren't going to touch on the total missed layup of where we're going. we don't need eyes. And then the back to the future music kicks in. Yes, I mean, just do it. You're halfway there, and then instead we won't need eyes to see.

Just stop, stop. Q Huey Lewis in the news. I know. Yeah. Don't need eyes. Don't need space. Don't need no devil to be in this place. That's pretty good.

It's pretty good, Matt. I know. New song. We've been saying we need a new remix after a walk to remember. I need a new one. Also, Jordan, did you say that the spaceship that goes to hell because it masturbated? Is it because my story about how I stopped masturbating after I watched this movie because I was afraid of going to hell? Oh, no, I was not referencing that movie in the intro.

Oh, boy, just peeling back the curtain. I write the intro. Emily's not making them up off the dome. No, I think we've mentioned this before. I think we mentioned this. No, actually, I didn't. I just thought of a, I was thinking of like, oh, it's a funny reason a spaceship. it might go to hell.

This is so funny. I feel like I've told this story before, but I saw this way too young, like I was 11 or something, or 12, and on sci-fi channel, and it scared me so much about what hell was that I stopped masturbating for like a long time.

And then I started again, but I made a deal with God that I would only do it three times a week. And then if I went over three times a week, he could have my bike, but I didn't want my bike. And I didn't really like riding bikes, so it wasn't a great deal with God. I love this.

You tried to con God. Yeah. You're like, sucker. I also like the image of God riding around on an 11-year-old's bike. You know, big guy in a robe. And funny enough. And squatting over a little bike with a bell. And funny enough, my mom, we still have that bike.

And my mom says they're giving it away because my mom can't get balance on a bike anymore. She just falls right over. She can't figure out. She's like, and they say it's just like riding a bike, but I can't ride a bike anymore. Looks like God's getting his bike. Yeah, God's getting his bike. He was owed. That's right.

Well, hey, it sounds like this movie, sounds like this is going to be a rich discussion. But before we talk about this movie, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads, we're going to answer a question from a listener in a segment we call We Got Mail. You Got Mail. All right. This question is from Legal underscore Egal. I'm guessing that's some version of Legal Eagle, but they were too late to get that. On Reddit, Legal underscore Egal asks,

Do you remember which movie you watched as a child that made you realize bad movies exist? A popular phenomenon when you're a little kid, you're just stoked to be at the movies. You think everything is good, but then there's that moment where it's like, oh, no, I didn't like. that. You know, you're developing taste. You're discerning. Two big ones stick out for me. I was so excited, because of the kid I was, I was so excited about both the Super Mario and Street Fighter movies of the 90s. And I remember going to those and going like, oh, no, they were bad. Now, when we watched Street Fighter for this show, I had a fucking blast, but I think it's because I, as a kid, I didn't understand camp.

or how to get high before watching something, which now I do. So Street Fighter, really, really fun to have that kind of redeemed in my eyes as a fun experience. Sure. But yeah, the Super Mario movie, it just being,

you know, if you haven't seen it. I fucking loved it as a kid. Yeah, me too. Big fan. Really? So even as a kid, not even just like I watched it in college.

No, no, as a kid, I saw it. I had one, there was a little bit of me that was disappointed. pointed that Yoshi wasn't a cute little cartoon dinosaur. No.

Instead, he was just a raptor. And I was like, well, I don't like that. But other than that, I thought it was great. I thought the gumbos were great. I was super into it. I think because I didn't really play the video game. I had no expectations of it. So I was just like, who are these two Italian guys?

I was like, they seem fun. They seem fun. They get mushrooms. It's Captain Hook's friend. Roger Rabbit's friend. It's me, exactly. Oh, and they got Dennis Hopper? Wow.

And the star of House of Buggin? Yeah. I liked it. Does any movie like this stick out to y'all of like seeing it and going like, oh my God, a bad movie? Well, the first time I realized the movie was bad was not necessarily because I didn't like it. It's because no one was in the theater. Oh. It was the next karate kid starring Hillary Swank.

Oh, okay. So I, and maybe that isn't a bad movie. It's just the, I just remember the theater was completely empty. I was there with one of my little friends at the time. And so his mom let us go down to the floor in front of the screen and just do fake karate the whole movie. It was a blast. But I realized I wasn't paying attention to the movie at all. So I just realized, oh, no one wants to see this movie.

It must be bad. So I could probably go back and reassess it and watch it again. But unless I have a friend to go do fake karate with on the floor, I don't know. I'm going to be into it. What's the point? That, Dunstan checks in was probably one. Oh, I was a monkey comedy, right? He's in orangutan.

And he like, I forget all of it, but I remember going, this feels like they're just going, kids will go cool, a monkey and we'll like it. Yeah, it's in the same era as like monkey trouble, you know? Yeah, which I'd love to watch. Make a monkey movie. Yeah, they were huge. Matt, G, does anything stick out for you as a movie you realize was bad? Yeah, I mean, there's a few moments from when I was a little bit older.

I mean, college was the first time I ever walked out of a movie. I think I probably talked about that before. But Lemony Snicket, I don't know why. I like, I went in and I got about 10 minutes in and I said, what am I doing? I'm too old for this. I just didn't, I couldn't handle it. And the, again, with Jim Carrey, the Grinch movie, the live action Grinch. Yeah.

I was, I did not like it. Oh my God. It just, I just thought it was, uh, it was over the top. It was, you know, a lot of Jim Carrey faces and I didn't, I, uh, it's his face in the movie, though. I know, but it was like he was doing a lot of big, he was big. He was too big. And it was like too much. And I, I kind of found myself getting quickly bored by it.

As a kid, as a younger kid, the only real memory I have was. free willie two Oh yeah Okay It was a sequel to free Willie I guess I don't The plot escapes me

Because I remember the first one They freed Willie Yeah exactly I don't remember What Willie was up to In the second one But I remember being so bored with it That I got into a fight with my brother

And he punched me in the face And I cried And it was For years after that I described it as the first movie ever cried in. But because your brother was punching you in the face. Not because you were concerned about Willie.

No, there's no emotional intelligence involved in it. I got into a brawl with my brother. But yeah, that was the one movie I remember being like bored of while it was happening and then kind of going like, well, movies are really about eating nachos. So I just ate nachos the whole time and enjoyed myself. The liminey snicket thing is crazy work. I can't believe that. I love that movie.

Yeah, I remember you saying that. I think, you know, we've talked about this. Well, the television series is better. Oh, I didn't know they made a television series. Yes, it is excellent. Not with Jim Carrey, I assume. No, it's with Duky Hauser. The guy who played Duggy Hauser, can't remember his name.

Neil Patrick Harris. Yes, he plays the Jim Carrey part. And it's really good. I forget how many seasons it is, but maybe down the line, I'll suggest it for one of our bonus episodes where we do one of our favorite. Shows. Premium choice for a bonus Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we will.

Org slash join. Do not miss that. The narrator is the high five Jerry guy. I don't know. You do a great impression of, Jordan. Oh, Patrick Warburton. Yeah, he's the narrator. Hi-five Jared. Hey, Jerry. Hi-five. Oh, that is good. I can know you can do that. I didn't remember you doing that. That's one of the impressions that I do. Patrick Warburton.

Well, yeah, event horizon. I'm excited to talk about this. Before we do, we should let you know that this movie contains suicide. So if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, we're going to play some music and give you a chance to find another episode. Hey, we're back. It's Free With Ads. We're going to talk about Event Horizon. Hell yeah. This movie looms very large for me.

I think I was such a scarity cat as a kid. And it took me so long to go see horror movies. and I think the only reason I went to see them is just because it was a big social thing. Like horror was kind of back in the 90s. All my friends were going to see them. So I had to kind of nut up and go to these movies

that I didn't want to go to. This might not have been the first one. Maybe Blair Witch was the first one. I really remember seeing this. And I was fucked up by it. Yeah. This really scared me. How old were you when this came out?

It was 97. So I was 13 or 14. I was 11. Yeah, I was... I think I was a scaredy cat. Yeah. But, you know, this was a pretty, pretty, pretty freaking movie. No, everyone I know who was that age who saw it describes it the same way as like their first, like, nightmare fuel movie.

Totally. And I think if you are like a little bit religious, which I was at the time, like, the kind of religious hell element to this is like really, really spooky. Sure. You know, yeah, it's, it's kind of suggest. that there's a scientific explanation for hell and it's there and that you could go there even if you're a good person who just accidentally built a ship that sends you there. Yeah. If you disobey the laws of physics. Oh yeah. That's right. You'll go to hell. That's a sin that you just didn't know about because they didn't have words for it back in the day. Um, but yes, Emily,

you mentioned this movie put you off masturbation. Uh, yeah. I, I, I kind of had my radar up for this movie to pop up because I feel like from day one of this podcast, you're like, we got to watch event horizon. Yes. Yes. But you had never seen it. I, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what took a handful of movies that, um, I missed out on seeing, um, and didn't, and, and regretted.

Because there were, my dad used to, uh, my dad took out the televisions in the house because we're getting bad grades. So sort of like make up for that on weekends. He would take us out to movies, which are really just babysitters. And then he would go to a bookstore and then he would read books while we watched some shitty movie. And sometimes I just wasn't in the mood. I was like, I don't want to go. They would pick some shitty movie.

Like one was Austin Powers. And I was like, I don't know what that. That sounds stupid. I don't want to go see it. Super regretted that. This movie called Event Horizon. It sounded boring. I didn't want to go.

wasn't in the mood, decided to stay home. My brother and sister came home traumatized. They were like, that was the scariest thing I've ever seen. Matt, you have to see it. It'll give you nightmares. It's awesome. And ever since then, I was like, you know, I really got to make time for event horizon. And I have not in years.

So when we started this podcast, I was like, this will be the perfect excuse to watch event horizon when it comes out. It's my excuse to watch the movie when I have a small child in the house. Yes, exactly. Honey, it's for content. Yeah, it's okay. She needs to get this out of the way early. So, yeah, for me, it was, what, 30 years of buildup.

Wow, okay. I cannot fucking wait to hear what you think about this movie. Sure, sure, sure, yes. Well, yeah, let's start talking about it. We open with a little crawl. The first date we get on the screen, 2015. The future. The future, 2015.

There's going to be a black president. And then a year later, an orange president. There will be a man named Bruno Mars. He'll teach the world to dance. That's right. So, you know, you get some kind of stuff happening. You get some history timeline stuff. And it doesn't really end up being that important to the movie.

In 2015, I think we start colonizing the moon in 2023. mining starts happening on the moon. That's not important to the movie. Why are we learning about mining? I don't know. Yeah. Don't need it. And in 2040, a ship called the event horizon disappears.

It's the greatest space disaster in history. And in 2047, it comes back. Oh, shit. Where'd it go? Why is it back? Why'd it back now? We see an early CGI-filled hallway of a spaceship with a bunch of C-G-I crap floating around. Also, we see the director's name, Paul Anderson.

Yes. And boy, was I like, ah, the Thomas is a really important key to this being a good or a bad movie. Yeah. Wrong Paul Anderson. I know, I know. So there are, this Paul W.S. Anderson, he is known as now. Paul Wes Anderson. Paul Wes Anderson.

No, no, no. He probably thought he was like crushing it with WS. It'll be great. We'll call me WS Anderson. No one will confuse me with another better director. This guy actually has a real place in my heart. And I think, I think, whether you know it or not, he does, he probably does for you too. Emily, he directed the 90s Mortal Kombat.

Yes. Oh, cool. He directed Alien versus Predator. Oh, okay. All right. This guy rules. He directed most of the Milojova Fitzgerz and Evil movies. Wow.

They are married. What a wife guy. Really? Can you blame him, though? Oh, wow. That's amazing. I kind of love him. Yeah.

He directed a pretty good remake of death race, too, that I can't imagine. We won't get to at some point on this. Anyway, I think great at trash. This dude, like, can fucking make some, make some tasty trash, I think. I mean, I, honestly, I think the idea of it being trash is, uh, I can't. make a big argument for that. I think all of these movies are masterpiece. That's true.

I like them all too. All these movies we've lifted to me, I would watch in one second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I'd say that the production design and set design is this movie. I mean, I don't know if he had a lot to do with that, but damn, it's good looking. Well, I think the movie aliens had a lot to do with that.

Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, some, it seems legally actionable. how much this movie looks like aliens. I was thinking the same thing. I was like, man, they really kind of close to that other set from the other famous space movie about monsters. There was that, but I mean, like, the room where the orb that is like the thing that opens the portal. That's true.

That's a cool design. Emily, I love the orb. I even wrote down in the notes how fucking cool the orb is. The orb's great. It's all rubber, by the way. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't watch the thing about the production design. It's like, so if they fall on it and stuff, it's not going to hurt the actors.

So it's all like little rubber pieces. Something about this ship also, in addition to, you know, looking a lot like the ships from aliens, there's just spikes everywhere. There's just fucking spikes everywhere. And the doors have spikes on them. There's things that shouldn't have spikes on them that have spikes on them. I almost respect it. I respect it.

Before the ship went to hell, it had a ton of spikes in it. Yeah, yeah. They flew a god. ship to hell, which awesome. Yeah. Yeah, it did have a very gothic kind of, also Frankenstein-esque. I felt like the new movie, the new Frankenstein, there was vibes in there. Oh, yeah.

There's a lot of like, you know, that kind of neon, I don't know, like ooze green that they have in it. It looks so pretty. There's a lot of things in this movie on the set that you're like, I wonder what that does. But the thing is when it's a non-functioning ship and everything's broken, you can just put shit anywhere. It's like, we don't have to justify what any of this is because it just don't work. Yeah. Are you a spaceman from 2047?

I thought not. You don't know shit. So we open, directed by Paul Anderson, has yet to add the WS. A bunch of CGI craps floating around the room. We get a crazy corpse who is stretched out in a Christ pose in front of a cross-shaped window. and not a subtle movie at all. Music was cool in the intro too. Yeah, music rips in this.

Music is really cool. But this is all maybe, or maybe not, a dream being had by Sam Neal. Sam Neal just shoots up, jumps awake, and he immediately starts looking at some pictures of a wife. And I'm like, these aren't just wife pictures. These are dead wife pictures. 100%.

Pretty clear that this one. I know a dead wife when I see one. That's a dead wife. That's a dead wife, I said to myself. Question for you guys. Did you know early on in this movie when you watched it that they were in hell? Or was that a twist to you at the time? That was a twist to me.

I mean, I'd never heard of the movie. It was just on sci-fi channel. And I caught it like right before the main scene that's the scariest scene. Okay. The montage. The montage. God I need a montage. Yeah.

Because I knew it was hell and part of me was wondering if it ruined it for me because I remember my brother and sister ruined, spoiled it for me. They were like, oh, it turns out they're in hell. And I was like, oh, okay. And but I don't, you know, for me, it did not ruin the enjoyability of the movie at all to know that it was hell. Yeah, no. And also something I didn't realize the first time I watched it.

Sam Neal's character built the original, like the Event Horizon, that they're going to find. So it's like, you know, he's got this dead wife. The original sin, some might say. Exactly. So to me, I feel like there's a lot of cut scenes. I've watched a few interviews and stuff. This thing was cut down a lot. And I'm like, do you think that there's a world where Sam Neal's character built this ship to go to hell to find his dead wife. Because he was certain she was in hell. My wife, she was awful. Well, no. In what dreams may come, there's another movie that the wife, you know,

dies in a similar fashion by her own hand. And so that, you know, in traditional Christian, you know. That's a good point. I actually hadn't thought about that. That's actually a really good point. Yeah. Interesting. I wonder. So there are, they've just started coming out, but there are like official sequel and prequel comics to this movie. I saw they came out like, what, 60 days ago or something? Yeah, they're kind of brand new. So I think this movie has like weirdly stuck around despite not having a sequel. And yeah, I think people do want to know more about the lore and stuff.

So yeah, and I have not read them, but I have heard they're kind of great. So I think I'm definitely going to check out the sequel and prequel comics to see. And then Jordan will write one. It'll happen. Yes, help it by from your lips to God's ears. Call me. Event Horizon Comics people. So yeah.

So Sam Neal, he's got this dead wife. But he's on a spaceship full of, full of rough and rowdy space guys led by Captain Lawrence fucking Fishburn. That's right. He's getting everybody up and around out of their cryo chamber, whatever's. What a 97 he had.

Boy, howdy. What a fucking 90s. I what a career. But yeah. What a career. I mean, this is a great. This is a great Fishburnt era. This is a great Sam Diel era.

Yeah. They're both doing great. That whole cast is excellent. Yeah, the cast is awesome. Yeah, we got our guy who, if you remember in one of our bonus episodes, if you join our Boko feed, the guy who plays Alfred Pennyworth in Gotham. Oh, okay. Is the Englishman, one of the Englishmen in this movie. Oh, see the guy who says locked, cocked, and ready to rock?

I think so. Yeah. That's a 90s ass line. Lawrence Fishburn doesn't like, doesn't like Sam Neal. He's the reason they're there. Because it turns out that their ship, which does something else, maybe mining or whatever, has to go after this distress beacon. Fucking never go after a distress beacon. That's the moral of all these.

Have you learned that from the ship, from the movie whose ship you stole? Yeah. Clearly you've seen alien movies. Look at your ship. And your clothes. Your whole vibe. Everything. Yes.

So, you know, they're going after that distress beacon. And it's apparently the famous ship, the event horizon. Sam Neal, he built it. And he's explaining the technology to people, which made total sense to me as a teenager. He uses a guy's like centerfold. He's got a girly center, you know, a centerfold where you like open it and you're like, wowee, wow, wow. Yeah.

Oh, a naked lady in the middle. Yeah. is fully clothed. Fully clothed lady centerfold. It's insane. A smock on. Yeah,

it'd be like doing that. They had an iPad though, which was interesting. I was like, wow, 1997 predicted the iPad. They had tablets. Look at that. But hard copy porn,

I guess. Yeah, exactly. That's like the contrast. So he like pokes a hole in this thing and says like, oh, you create a, if you can go faster than light, if you create a hole in the space and you go through it and you come

out the other side, makes fucking sense on with the movie. And they have a transmission downloaded, an audio transmission from the event horizon that has a bunch of fucking screaming and this fucking terrified. Terrifying. This sound design on everyone's screaming in this thing

is really, really scary, but they hear a little bit of what they decide is Latin. And the voice screaming on the tape says, Libertet may or Save me fucking scary Yeah Freaks me out

So yeah so they go from their little ship Abboard at the event horizon It's spooky Nothing's really happening Until a hand hits somebody in the face There's a bunch of hand floating around And a bunch of gore on the wall They find a video from the ship's log

Which Maybe my favorite prop in this It's just clearly a DVD player That they've spray painted back And it's a DVD comes out of it. Yeah, yeah, straight up. But, you know, it's like, it's 97s over them.

They're like, look at this. Look at this shiny disc. Right. They'll think it's a space disc. I love that. Yeah, they clearly just got this from Radio Shack and spray painted it. They're like, sometimes our prop department decides to phone it in. That's okay.

But yeah, I think a DVD was a new enough thing to where people were like, ooh, cool. I mean, I didn't think that there could possibly be anything more like, I don't know. Advanced. I remember the first time I saw a mini-disc and I said, you know what? Too far, guys. Too far. I was like, this isn't going to work.

This is too. It's too, you know, it was like the, you know, the little phone from Zoolander. Yeah. You know, I was like, you know, at some point making it this small is just a flex and is ridiculous. And I was like, well, that's it. CD is the last technology they'll be. Yeah, I love that. We have shitty AI before the microchip.

our brains. I was, now I'm like, okay, let's do the microchip if we're just going to go all out and be dicks about it. Let's go. Just shove it in there. Jam it in there. Jam it in my brain. Let me see only tities. Yes. That's a country song. Jam it in my brain. Let me see only titties. That's a funny idea is a like predictive sci-fi country singer. Yeah. There we go. There's something. Mamas don't let your babies grow up to fuck robots. All my exes into the nexus. Oh, boy. Baby, baby, baby, baby, don't do it.

All right. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Anyway, so they're going around this ship. We got a dude on here. He's unfortunate. He goes through a lot of ship.

A lot of shit. Excuse me. A lot of shit. A lot of shit on the ship. This guy's name is. Mr. Justin. Great name. They call him Mr. Justin, and I would say a solid quarter of the dialogue in this movie is just people yelling Justin.

Yep. People just yell Justin all the time. Is he the one who's Baby Bear, though? He's Baby Bear. Yeah, he's Baby Bear. He is both Justin and Baby Bear. And yeah, that was kind of the joke in my friend group after we saw this in college. We would all just yell Justin to each other.

I love that. How much. How much they yelled Justin in the movie. They yell Justin a lot. Yeah. But yes, they also call him baby bear. Was he related to the one that he later calls Mama Bear? I don't know.

Or is that just how they talk to each other? Yeah. Because if that's how they talk to each other, I could see why they're going to hell. Yeah, you're not supposed to call your know. You're going to hell for being Tweed. You're talking about, I guess she was called Peters in the movie, but the actress is Kathleen Quinlan. She's in a movie that I have wanted to be free with ads for a long time Called Zeus and Roxanne

And it's also with Steve Gutenberg And it's about a dog befriending a dolphin Yes As soon as that becomes free with ads It's on the list It's on the list I love that Those are two creatures who should be friends

They should be friends They say the dogs evolved from dolphins I don't know who said it I made it up You said it Sounds like you said that Yeah cool You can say anything on a podcast That's what it is

It's just saying stuff So our boy, Justin, the baby bear, he's inspecting the warp core drive. Yeah, as we mentioned, looks cool as shit. It's this room with a big spinning orb with multiple layers, tons of spikes. Keep a cube vibes. Yeah, kind of cube vibes, for sure. Yeah, this was an aesthetic, by the way. I think this all kind of led to the Matrix eventually.

Yes, clearly. That's kind of the ultimate version of this aesthetic. But, yeah, but Justin, he's poking at this core and he gets sucked in. to a very cool at the time liquid metal kind of effect kind of like the T-1000 in Terminator 2 also effects were in Mortal Kombat there's like a lot of stuff in the liquid kind of stuff

The 90s was very into the idea of future liquid metal shit They were just like oh man in the future Everyone's gonna look like mercury Which fine that would be sick I like that idea it would be cool I love my mercury wet wife Yes. That's right. You can say anything on a podcast. I know.

My T-wife, Thousand. Can we talk about the other parts of the ship real quick? Because when they were jumping into this realm where they could find the ship, I guess there was like Sam Neal's character gave an explanation with a pencil and a piece of paper of how they were going to. And it's like, okay, whatever. We didn't need to do that. But there's like a swing chair that Lawrence Fishburn is in. That's basically a sex.

swings. Yeah. And it's just... Got to pass the time and space somehow. And he's just swinging back and forth forever during the... Like when they're like, okay, we're not going to make it. And launching and he's just whee! Yeah.

Like it's like sex sweet thing. He's having fun. He's having fun. And I was just like that design. And even when they had stopped, he's still kind of swinging in it talking to them. And I'm like, this is the most delightful. In space, no one can hear you come. It's space.

No one can hear you swing. No. Yeah. We just do it as much as you want. Nobody can hear you. Going to hell anyway. Yeah. Yeah.

So after Mr. Justin gets sucked into the thing, that's when shit starts to go crazy. Everybody on the ship just starts seeing awful, awful things. There's a woman who has like a kid in a wheelchair and she sees him kind of running around and having gross maggot legs. Sam Neal starts seeing dead wife, but with no eyes. She doesn't have eyes. She's always popping up with no eyes. It's really scary. That's the worst special effects of the whole movie is the empty eye sockets.

Oh, the eye sockets are pretty nice. Because they're bright. It just looks like, you know, that yucky kid in class who would just turn his eyelids inside out and be like, uh-huh. That is the perfect description of there's that yucky kid was always the one who did it. I don't even know his name. I just was like, yeah, I know I know who you're talking about. At my school, it was a kid named Sputnik. Sputnik?

Sputnik? Sputnik neon television rushing. That is a cool-ass name for a yucky kid. He had a Joe Dirt Mullet. Hell yeah. Down to his butt. So, yeah, just a bunch of stuff happening to people. They're seeing things. Sam Neal has to crawl through this kind of cool looking airlock.

It looks like it's made of computer chips. Yeah, that was cool. Dead wife's in there. She doesn't have any eyes still. You think she grows them back in the airlock? I don't know. I don't know how it works. I never have eyes.

I've never been in a hellship before. In the airlock. But our boy, Justin, so they put him into some sort of medical chamber thing, but then he's fucking gone. And you know where he shows up? He's in the airlock. And he's like catatonic and saying all this crazy stuff. And he like, you know, sets the counter down to like open the airlock that's going to suck him out.

Yeah. You know what I really love about this scene is, uh, It's incredibly brutal, which is really fun for me. I like a good scary brutal scene. The stakes are high because of this scene. Yeah. And the use of the cold vacuum of space as a torture device is probably it's like probably the first time I had seen. Or, you know, if I had seen it in the 90s, it would have been the first time I'd ever seen it.

I really also enjoyed the advice that Morpheus. Lawrence Fishprin's character game, which is literally I was sitting there going, I'm someone who reads a lot of sci-fi. What you got to do is blow out all of your air and get really tight into a ball. And he said that and I was like, yo, the people wrote this movie,

they read the same books. They did their research. I was very impressed with that. Very impressed. It's the first time I've seen someone be able to be saved because we've seen things where people get, you know, ejected from the airline. or whatever and they always don't make it.

But seeing him get just like cunt punted back into the ship and he's like he's not going to be pretty. In the experience TV show, Naomi she goes from one ship to another by going out the airlock and breathing out all her air

and she survives. Although she does get a lot of like radiation burns and stuff. But anyways, I thought it was really cool for a horror film essentially, which is what this is, to use the cold vacuum of space as opposed to like, you know, a knife or various torture devices, just a really unique way of doing a horror film.

Yeah. Yeah. So Justin blows himself out of the airlock. He like kind of weirdly comes to at some point and just like, Mama Bear, don't let it happen. It's very fucking heartbreaking. Even though you shouldn't call your coworker Mama Bear. Right. And that's why he's going to hell.

That's why he's going to hell. HR is like, let him go. So yeah, Lord's Fishburn kind of grabs him. from his like space suit and brings it back in. And yeah, shit just starts going, going crazier. Going to hell, so to speak. Going to hell, yes, absolutely. Much like the ship itself.

Sam Neal starts going crazy. He starts kind of like saying like the ship won't let you leave. Yeah. And kind of other junk. That's why I thought maybe like he built this ship and maybe he's in love with like his masterpiece. And so he's right. he's more seduced by the evil of the ship

and then also finding his wife in hell. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It could be you don't really get much backstory on anybody in this. And I think it's a strength and a weakness. You know, I think it's like it doesn't over-explain stuff too much

so the mystery gets to be kind of scary. But I think there is an element of like, who's anybody in this? Right. Yeah. Why this? Why anyone? And yeah, you get a little thing of Lawrence Fishburn,

like saying that he kind of left one of his, his dudes at some point who caught on fire and the ship knows that. He never told anybody that shows us that guy multiple times. Yeah, there's like a fire zombie that pops up and starts shooting fire at everybody. It's cool. He tries to hadooking him at the end of the movie. Yeah. I know.

It's like, all right. Well, damn. I know. It's this thing of like, is this all in their head? And then I'm like, oh, no, this zombie is literally throwing fireballs at anyone. Yeah. Any question as to whether or not this is happening is now answered because a zombie is throwing fireballs at you.

Yep. So yeah, it's going crazier, and that's when the tech lady, the enhanced woman says she cleaned up that fucking DVD that they found in the DVD player. She went, and then wiped it on her shirt. A little windex on there. It'll clean it right off if you got to scratch DVD. So yeah, she cleaned it off. And so they play this kind of crazy montage of what happened to the old crew. and it's just this, you know, horrible, like screaming blood.

It looks like they're eating each other. And the captain of the last one, like, has ripped out his own eyes and he, like, presents them to the camera. It's pretty fucking scary. As Emily mentioned, this movie, like, very, very heavily edited because I guess the original cut of it made, like, audiences sick. That was the, like, story of this. Yeah. And I guess people freaked out in the screenings and stuff like that. So this version is, like, you know, way tamer.

And I think to this day that like longer cut isn't anywhere you can watch it. There's like a legendary VHS tape that has it that they say like, oh, one day someone's going to like upload this VHS tape and we'll all get to see it. On IMDB, you can read a description of what happens in this scene that got cut. Okay. And just reading the fucking text on IMDB upset me. I like did it before bed and I had to like put it down like. descriptions of the fucked up stuff that apparently happens in this.

Yeah, I was watching a YouTube video about things. I want to know. Things you missed or things that, well, we should, I mean, if you're listening to this and you think it's going to be too disturbing, I'd say, like, take a little beat. But like, there's a lot of cannibalism. I'll say that. There's some cannibalism. Uh-huh.

You know, maybe- There is sexual violence as well. Wow. They really went for it. They had that in the one that I saw as well. Wow. That's crazy. They call it the blood orgy scene

is like what people refer to it as. I could see why they cut it. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, but still pretty scary in this form. Like pretty like and again, it's like the kind of stuff you don't see that freaks you out the most.

Just kind of hearing it and seeing the suggestion of stuff really, really wild. You saw some stuff though. It definitely showed you stuff. And when I was watching it, I just went, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Yeah, yeah. It was like, oh, my God.

I know. It's like you can see why they, and I don't know if this movie was before. or after Mortal Kombat, but you see why this guy got Mortal Kombat, but then they're like, eh, it's PG-13. Nothing fucked up happens in that movie.

Yeah, no, I think that was before. Yeah, yeah. They also cut out the blood orgy scene in Mortal Kombat. A huge shame. I think we all wanted to see Goro's dick. Honestly, yeah.

Whoa, four dicks. Four dicks. Four arms, four dicks. Finish him and him and him and her. You could finish four people at once. You can finish four people at once. Thornless victory. I saw an advanced screening of the Mortal Kombat 2 last night.

It's real good. How was it? It was good? It's fucking great. All right. I had a goddamn blast. Cool. Yeah.

Anyway, okay, so like the most, the fucked up shit has happened. Some more fucked up shit is going to happen. It's not quite as bad as that. We're going to talk about it when we come back. Hey, we're back. It's free with ads. We were talking about Event Horizon. So, you know,

it's off the rails at this point. Sam Neal rips out his own eyes and just starts fucking everybody up. He's also done some self-inflicted kind of wounds and stuff on his face. Yeah, he's like super messed up. Yeah, she's like cutting himself on the face and body. And body. At this point, I was confused as to whether he is being, you know, told to do this by the devil or whatnot or if he himself is the devil.

And I don't think they fully explain. He is possessed by the whatever the omnipotent power in that ship is. Right. Because he is, the other thing, there's something that was cut out Jason Isaac's character. Yeah. He's like the doctor, I guess. He has like pretty extensive scars on his chest. Like when you see, you know, Sam Neal's character killing him.

Right. They, he's got these scars and there was like a backstory to where his scars came from. And the design that Sam Neal kind of cuts into his torso, I'm like, is there like some mirroring of stuff going on? Or is that, you know, that thing that he put on, like cut into his torso is it some kind of demonic symbol or something? But they say that this movie goes into the Lovecraftian cosmic horror category. Cool. Oh, totally. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Very good version of that. So, yeah. Very witchy. Yeah. So Sam, Sam Neal now fully possessed is going to. like reopen the hell gateway and send the ship and everyone in it back to hell. So yeah, they're able to at some point shoot with a harpoon gun. Somebody's has a harpoon gun. What is this doing on the ship? I don't know. It's fucking cool. Killing a space whale. Yeah, got to kill those

space whales. You never know. They like are able to shoot him out in airlock. Lawrence Fishburn's plan is to kind of blow up most of the ship and then they're all going to go into one little area and use it as a lifeboat. Fast thinking. Yeah, it's good. It's smart. Wait, here's something that I found confusing because the whole movie they're doing a countdown to how much oxygen they have left. Yeah. So I'm like, how does this lifeboat have oxygen when they were like two minutes left like five times? I'm very confused.

Yeah, I know. They have a ticking clock in this. They have a few ticking clocks. They do. It's just multiple clocks. Yeah. None of them ever like pay off at all. It's like, why do we need the ticking clock on here?

There was no reason for it. Yeah. I was already nervous. You don't need to make me. more nervous. But Lawrence Fishburn and Sam Neal have a big fight in the orb room, and Lawrence Fishburn kind of sacrifices himself. He blows it up, and then the ship gets sucked back into hell.

And maybe the worst CGI in the movie. Yeah. So I have one gripe. The CGI, for sure, not great. In the scene where he reveals himself right before the fight, he turns around in a swivel chair. And then lightning noise plays.

Thunder and lightning happen. And at first, when I'm watching the movie, I was like, oh, dude, it's crazy. And then, you know, my adult brain kicked in and said, wait, why was there thunder in the spaceship? Never explained. Just kind of like almost cheesy. And then it is immediately followed up with the line where we're going, we don't need eyes to

see. Which, you know, I was like, okay, so there's... But he gets his eyes back at one point. So he, like, at the very last scene, Sam Neals appears and he has eyes again. I'm like, wait, so are you just, you're a fucking, you're a liar. He magic. I think he magic. He got magic powers now.

He got magic. Magic hell eyes. Yeah. We haven't talked about the T.F. Cooper character coming back at the end from being in space. He's my favorite, like, he's like the comedic relief. Yeah, exactly. guy and he's out fixing the ship and then there's an explosion and he just like goes into space in his little space suit and he figures out on a little watch how to release some kind of pressure

and the shoot back towards the ship. Yes. And it's like he just goes, I'm coming back motherfucker. Yeah. It's a great line. It's so funny. He's just the weirdest and that's the worst CGI in my opinion. That's a pretty bad CGI.

Yeah. That's pretty bad. Yeah. The harpoon goes through. the window and almost stabs him in the face. But it doesn't. It doesn't somehow. He lives. He's fine.

Yeah. So, yeah, the kind of final, the final three, Lawrence Fishburn sacrifices himself. We got, we got, we got, we got this guy. We have just kind of a tough army lady who's very tough and puts people in chokeholds. And then we have our boy, Justin. He made it. He fucking baby bear made it all the way through. Great.

And they go into their sleep chambers. and then when they get pulled out by like a rescue crew and then one of them, the rescue crew has helmets on when they lift their helmets, it's Sam Neal. One more scare. And then we kind of go back and was she dreaming, was she not? And then the spike door closes. And that's the end of Event Horizon.

I don't know now, no now. Back from the other world's Black Rock a Beach. It wasn't that prodigy? It's one of those types of songs. Yeah, one of those electro, Euro-electro bands. Yeah, someone Dutch. Someone Dutch was involved. Everybody have funky time.

I thought it was Smack My Bitch Up. It could have been Smack My Bitch Up. It could have been. Great song. Everyone likes to disco in space. Yeah. Why aren't we all discoing in space? Dance and eat and sex and chocolate.

You can do it all in spice. Anyway. Hey, we're going to say what we thought about the movie. But first, you know we got to do this. the hunk watch. It's hunk watch. So, any thoughts on the hunks of this film?

I feel guilty being horny at this movie immediately. Well, you'll go to hell for it, but maybe it's worth it. Maybe it's cool there. You don't need eyes, apparently. Hard to say, I mean, I think, you know, there's kind of like the obvious one in terms of just pure sex appeal is Lawrence Fishburn.

I think he's, you know, tough guy, captain of the ship. you know there's there's something about him that's really good uh but i'm gonna give a small shout out to uh the cold vacuum of space oh okay the hunkiest character i think in this you know there's just something about just the empty nothingness of the universe that i thought was i don't know arousing very emo emo of you that's me yeah emily any any thoughts oh it's richard t jones as T.F. Cooper in his suit saying, I'm coming back, motherfucker. He is such a hunk. He also did not like the Sam Neal character. He was questioning him. Him and Lawrence Fishburn. Yeah, he didn't like this guy,

but he was just, God, he's gorgeous and the funniest part of the movie. So I liked him. Nice. And yeah, I'll go ahead. This is a cold take, of course. Sam Neal, any great and everything. Yeah. It was great. He also, he's healthy. He's healthy. again. Yeah, yeah. I think Sam Neal had a hell scare, but he's, but he's here. He's being delightful on social media. He think he has goats or something. I love him. He's fantastic. Yeah. I loved his opening scene where he's shirtless because he had what I would describe as Matt Lee body, which is just like, you know, a man's body. I don't know. Just a little bit of work could be, you know, a great body.

But not putting in that work is what makes it sexy. That's what I say. Yeah, I agree. I feel like I interrupted you, though, Jordan, about Sam Neal, why he's hot. Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. Oh, no, no. Yes, I think Sam Neal Bod, yes, very effective.

He's a, he's delightfully triangular with no shirt on. Yeah. And I think he, when he has to be just kind of like nice scientist guy for a while and then he has to be the devil. Yeah. And when he's the devil, he's not like, he's not going big. You know, I think there's a campier Nicholas Cage version of that that might be fun in a way, but a little less scary. But he's just like, you know, the acting just changes a little bit.

And he's, it's a really fun performance, I think. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, for sure. All right. We are going to tell you what we thought about Event Horizon when we come back. We're back. It's free with ads. We're going to tell you what we thought about Event Horizon.

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Let's talk about Event Horizon. What we thought of it overall, rank it on a scale of one to ten, super loud commercials. Matt, we'll let you take it home because this is your, you know, doing this episode was your, your baby, and I can't hear what you thought.

Your baby, baby, baby, baby. Emily, do you want to go first? Did this movie cause you to enter a no-fap state once again? State of no-fap? Yes, it did. I mean, the thing that's interesting is the only montage, horror montage I remember, is the one towards the end, which I could tell was very edited. I watched this on Pluto.

which I still wonder if it was, like, edited a little bit for Pluto. Like, I wonder. But I remember it's like the spikes come into play. You guys were talking about how there's spikes everywhere on the ship. Trust me, the spikes are used in that last montage of horrible things. Yes. And that really disturbed me. But the one in the middle I had never seen before.

And it really disturbed me. Like, I'm still thinking about it in a way where I can't stop thinking about it. Wow. That's kind of, it sticks in your head is the crazy thing. I just felt like I needed more story about the people. Like I felt like I was kind of robbed of like more, I don't know, just more story. It felt like there was more richness to be had and we didn't get all of it. True.

So I felt like I watched three quarters of a movie in a way. So I loved it, but I wanted more. I'm going to give it a 7.5. I think it wasn't. as scary as I remember it, but it is unsettling and very disturbing. So, yeah, not jump scary, but, you know. Yeah, I, because this movie, like, scared me so much as a kid, I've, like, rewatched it a couple of times, and sometimes I watch it and I'm like, what, what the fuck was I so scared about? This is totally whack, you know, what is this? But for this viewing, I, like,

really had a blast with it. And I, I think it's really fun. I think everybody's great. I think, Emily, you're absolutely right. I think because of editing or just because of like whatever, you do feel like you want to know a little bit more about the people because you like them. The actors are great.

You know, you want them to have a little bit of, you know, a little bit more story, a little bit more of a relationship to each other. Yeah. So yeah,

I think it feels a little bit half baked in that way. But the fun shit is so much fun. Yeah. And yeah, and I think it is not like, it didn't scare me like it did when I was a kid,

but the stuff is unsettling and I think that there is a lot of like, kind of in addition to the gore there's a lot of like the stuff you're not seeing is pretty effective so yeah I really had a fun time with this viewing so yeah I'm gonna go seven I think that that's around where I landed yeah the pacing wasn't bad either it was like it kind of moved pretty well from scare to scare so that it moves yeah Matt what'd you think you've been you've been waiting to see this movie basically you're holding 30 years to watch this film uh and I have to say it did not disappoint in terms of I was grading it on a curve.

So number one, it was available on Pluto, and I didn't want to take the chance that it would be edited to be PG-13. So I did watch the OG version of it. How did you find it? What source did you use? I just found it the way Matt Leib finds things. Let's just say that.

Matt Leab finds things on the internet that not everybody can find. I'll just say I watch this on the library app, Hoopla. So if you got that. Shit, okay. I watched it on Hoopla. Would you download a car? Yes, I would.

So I watched in full. It had tities in it. And I don't know if the Pluto one had tities, but the one I saw. Okay. Well, that's... Hoopla, I can confirm Hoopla had titties too. Hoopla got titties. I saw both them hoopla's, if you know what I mean.

Yeah. Hey. Um, low baby. It's just big bopper. More like big floppers. Yeah. Huge knockers. Yeah.

That's all fun. Big panties too. Anyways, I, uh, I was grading it on a curve in terms of, is this something that I would have found incredibly scary as a kid and absolutely it is. This would have given me straight nightmares. Um, it especially would have given me because I, I thought hell was the scariest thing there could be. Um, and, uh,

the method of tormenting people with their loved ones in pain, I thought was like really trippy and probably would have scared me the most. As an adult, of course, watching for the first time, I wasn't, you know, I wasn't that scared of, you know, of it. I didn't find it to be that scary of a movie. There's a little bit too many jump scares for my taste. I find those kind of like a little bit annoying, especially when I'm like, guys, I'm trying to eat a sandwich here. I'm but I was overall impressed. I'm sad.

I waited this long to see it. I'm going to give it an eight. All right. I liked it. That's what we thought. Yeah. Of Event Horizon. Let's do a little plug.

Anybody got anything? Yes. Not at the moment. What do you got? May 21st. It's a Thursday. Come out to the Ice House in Pasadena and come see me and my wife do comedy. We do it every month.

guys come back out we had to cancel last month's because of a bunch of stuff that happened with the club so uh we're back in may we're back now so may 21st come out the ticket link is in the bio uh i'm gonna throw a cool URL i think everybody should visit bit dot ly slash cool garf that's right bit dot ly slash cool garf you love yourself a funny URL i do it's true i do cool garf everybody Spelled cool garf for me. C-O-O-O-L-G-A-R-F. I knew it. The traditional spelling.

I didn't know you were going to do it. I thought maybe a K at that cool over there. No, no, no. Standard C, standard garf. That's where you can download Baby Garfield, issue three, a baby Garfield comic with a story from me and Eisner winner, Tin Fam.

That's right, a fun for all ages. Garfield romp, bit. Bit.ly slash cool garf. You can get a signed by me one delivered to you in the mail. That'll be out on June 10th. June 10th, you can pick it up at your local comic book store, but getting that pre-order now if you want that signed copy. And you can see me at a couple of cool Comic-Con coming up at GalaxyCon in Emily's hometown of Nashville, Tennessee.

Nice. I will be there May 29th through 31st at GalaxyCon in Nashville. And June 6th and 7th, I will be at the Toronto Comic Arts Festival. in Toronto, Canada. That's the sixth and the seventh. Okay, tune in next week when our movie will be Predator, 1987. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network.

Of artists-owned shows. Supported. Directly. By you.