Free With Ads - How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

This week we finally got around to watching a Matthew McConaughey movie, the romcom hit "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" where he and Kate Hudson con eachother into falling in love.Jordan will be at the Berkeley Public Library ComicCon on Novmber 9th! At 11am he will doing a panel at the second floor Mystery Room. Find more info at BerkeleyPublicLibrary.comVisit Emily's ETSY store right now and buy some stuff! Great for holiday shopping!Emily will be doing some Texas shows with the Good Mythical Tour. November 15th in Dallas and November 16th in Houston. Buy your tickets immediately!

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Max 10 bucks a month to watch Matthew McConaughey go gradually insane from pursuing a serial killer and true detective when you could go online for free and watch him go insane from having to attend a Celine Dion concert and eat a cucumber. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the Y2K romcom classic that's been embraced by Gen Z who just can't seem to stop embracing weird shit.

And with us as always is super producer Matt ladling out those hearty steaming drops Hell yeah, when are you gonna do it like a new fart? I'll update it You gotta you know, let one go for a while, you know, eventually it'll be a silent but deadly one that one is You won't hear it, but you'll smell it from your iPod I think everybody listening to this is listening on an iPod. Do people still have iPods? Yes, I think everybody listening to this is listening on an iPod with a wheel. Yeah, it's the only way to listen to podcasts. Yes, and then they'll listen to Sex and Candy by Nirvana.

Yay, what? That's Marcy Playground. Dude, yeah, that was old school, like Kazam rules, baby. It was just like whatever band you thought it was. Yeah, in the days of Napster, et cetera, stuff was often mislabeled. Really? So Sex and Candy, often attributed to Nirvana.

I'm the only gay Eskimo, often attributed to Tenacious D, when in fact it's Corky and the Juice Pigs. We all know this. I remember that song. I still don't know who does Sweet Dreams. Is it Aerosmith or is it Led Zeppelin? It's the Arithmetics. Or no, what is, no, no, no, no.

What's that other song? Dream On, that's the one. I know who does Sweet Dreams. Yeah, I believe that's Aerosmith. Oh, okay. They sound the same. That is such a weird throwback the the gay Eskimo thing I thought that was like Monty Python or something

There's no way to know because everything was mislabeled Hey before we start officially we should say we're taping this on the on the night that the Dodgers won the World Series Matt Rilled you're a baseball fan. Oh man. I'm so excited that I gotta play a sting. Okay. Dodgers won. All right. I'm so stoked. Should we just like, next this recording,

do you wanna go out and start flipping over cars downtown? I really do want to, but I hurt my back washing dishes. but I hurt my back washing dishes. So I'm officially too old to do anything fun. Even too old to do anything that's obligatory as an adult. So that's my life. But you know what? I will watch people flip cars from the comfort of my own home. Well, you know what else makes me want to flip cars?

This fucking movie. In celebration. Buckle up. own home. Well you know what else makes me want to flip cars? This fucking movie. Yeah. So. In celebration. Buckle up. So let's fucking go baby. Yeah well hey we have one more little piece of business before we get to how to lose a guy in 10 days.

Before we talk about this movie which is as of this recording streaming free with ads, we're gonna talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. Other free stuff. Hey, after months of making fun of Matthew McConaughey's weird social media, we're finally doing one of his movies, it seems fitting, to do an edition of our classic segment, What's Matthew McConaughey Talking About?

Yeah. In this segment, we go into a piece of Matthew McConaughey's social media and try and figure out what the fuck he's talking about. It is the game with no winners because no one can actually tell what Matthew McConaughey is talking about. What we have here is a recent tweet from McConaughey. It's a series he does that he hashtags, hashtag iMcConaughey, lowercase i. So I think what he's doing is he's trying to play on iMac. You know, that thing that is still, you know, the iMac. That thing that's still around. Yeah, I have it next to my iPod.

It's how I load in all of my songs. Exactly, it's how I listen to. Satisfaction by the Beatles. Right, and Brown Eyed Girl by Pennywise, yes. Yes. Yes. So this is a series he does where he posts like a fake iMessage conversation between him

and a fake person that doesn't exist where the fake person sets him up to like say something deep. I thought we would do a dramatic reading. I'll be the fake person. Emily, do you wanna be Matthew McConaughey? Yeah, is Matthew McConaughey the blue one? He's the blue, yeah. Okay.

So I'm this guy that doesn't exist. I wanna be great at everything. Okay. How much time you got? Not enough. Hang on, let me take that again. I think you really got a character here. I've never tried to do that, even kinda. Do you wanna take a shot of tequila

and walk around Austin Barefoot for a while? No, but I do have some Malort. Should I do a shot of Malort real quick? Take a shot of Malort. All right, I'll be right back. He, he, he. Shot of Malort. Ooh, you can't see this if you're listening, but I just wanted to show off my little shot glass

I stole it from a restaurant. Oh It's so pretty I had to take it. Okay, ready one two three There it goes down the hatch We're gonna call chilies and tell him you stole that shot glass. How did you know? I know a chilly shot glass when I see one. It's a little Chili pepper on it. Okay, hang on. Okay, take two on I, Mack, on a hay.

All right, let's do it. All right. Okay, I'm the fake guy. I want to be great at everything. How much time you got? Not enough. Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at.

Beautiful. Okay, that's it. That's what Matthew McAtehay thinks is super deep. I don't know. What is he talking about? What is he talking about? What is he talking about? All right. Who is he talking to? Is the real question. Don't know, it's just a bubble, just a text bubble.

There's no context. Here's what I do like about this, is that in the text, it's got an iMessage thing. Maybe it's iMacanahe, like iMessage instead of iMac. I don't know. That's, he didn't notice. Somebody texted him at 9.30 and he responded like within two minutes, now that's my kind of guy.

I wouldn't lose that guy in text days. You know what? Don't, because he, you know, with as wacko as he is, the man can return a text. Yeah. Especially if it's to himself, and it's for a... For social, to post on social media. Post on social media, yes.

Right, right. Yeah, Matthew McConaughey never gives you the, oh, sorry, just seeing this. Yeah, yeah, sorry, I've been really busy texting back other people with life advice. Yeah, who is his friend? I gotta know. I mean, he starts a text with, I want to be great at everything. Right, yeah, that's the thing. It's like it's just setting him up for this dumb thing that he thinks is...

No one has ever texted that to any... I guess it just means focus. I guess it just means like focus and don't get distracted. I could see that being from some Ayahuasca friend. Oh, I could see that. It might be from an Ayahuasca friend. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, maybe it's a friend he went on a vision quest with who left the vision quest

and realized he was bad at everything. I feel like half of his blood must be Ayahuasca at this point. Like, I don't think he's always on a vision quest. Yeah, when you hear about someone's Ayahuasca, whatever point. Like I don't think he's always on a mission. I feel like when, yeah, when you hear about someone's ayahuasca, whatever, and I have not done it, but I've definitely heard about a lot of people. So I was like, oh yeah, like God told me I'm made of

stardust. It would be whack to come back from the thing and go like, oh, like I suck. I'm not good at anything. I talked to God and he told me I suck. I talked to God. He said I was made. Yeah, this is, Yeah, this is...

Yeah, this is not... So sayeth the Lord. So sayeth the Lord. Thou art mid. Thou art mid. Yeah, we need to hear more of those stories, more relatable Ayahuasca stories. Yeah.

It's always just the same story. It's like, I took Ayahuasca and now I'm not in tech anymore. Good for you. I'm making brick oven pizzas, cause an alien told me. Anyway. So let's get into it. Let's talk about how to lose a guy in 10 days.

I had not seen this movie. Me neither. Yeah, I just kind of figured, we've always been talking about McConaughey, let's do one of these, he made a bunch of these rom-coms in the Y2Ks. I guess so in boning up about this movie, I guess people love it when it got dumped onto Netflix,

it was the number one movie, Netflix originals and all, and I read a little, and both he and Kate Hudson, the other star of this movie, like in interviews say they want to do a sequel, so they're always like teasing this sequel. And I read an article like Screen Rant or something said that like, the theory is that Gen Z loves this movie because they like seeing people with jobs and nice apartments. That makes sense, actually.

That's why we were fucking watching it too. Like, I don't, like, we watched Friends, we did all that. This isn't, god damn it. Yeah, but- Come on, Gen Z, be interesting. Like, just like, instead of being mean to us, like, be interesting. Like, I judge- Stop making fun of my front tuck and my girl boss mug.

Oh, I'm in the middle of getting my side part back by the way fuck you forever making me have a butt cut I hated it. I hated it I looked like a little point Dexter for like I don't know how many years now, but it's I'm growing out the bangs I'm getting the side part again. Fuck you. I'm doing it and you Gen Z bullies take a walk Yeah, how and pound sand you gen Z bullies. To be fair to them, they are right in that it is like looking at a filmed dinosaur, watching someone whose job it is to write at a magazine.

Yeah. You know, like those jobs don't really exist anymore. At least not with an office. Right, well the thing that, and it's much more glamorous and stuff like that, and B.B. Neuwirth is your boss, which is killer, but oh my god, how many movies have we had B.B. Neuwirth pop up in so far? Yeah, we've been rich with B.B. Neuwirth,

and she's a bright shining light in everything she's in. Yeah, we've had more B.B. Neuwirth than Matthew McConaughey, which is pretty cool, but no, like my favorite. bright shining light in everything she's in. Yeah, we've had more BB Newworth than Matthew McConaughey. Which is pretty cool. But no, like my favorite. Who needs M.M. when you have BB? Anyway, I just put M.M. Why do I like that joke so much?

Who knows? It's the Malort. Yeah, there it is. The Malort Toggin. They love that joke in Chicago. Everybody's cracking up in Chicago. No, the magazine reminds me a lot of Cosmo. I had Cosmo growing up and stuff like that,

but it feels like Buzzfeed kind of replaced that type of click bait journalism with quizzes. And pop-up. Quizzes and no money. That's what they replaced it with. Quizzes, no money, and then top 10 this. So it was quizzes and top 10s, which is not too far off, but yeah, you can't make money anymore, I guess. Top 10 Disney princesses only Latina nurses recognize.

It's a great list. It's got gifts. It's got gifts list. It's got GIFs. It's got GIFs. It's got GIFs. Ooh, GIFs. And no words. No words. Well, yeah, let's talk about this thing.

Speaking of magazines, it opens up in the pages of Composure magazine. Emily, yeah, it's kind of like a Cosmo. It's kind of like a, you know, it's a women's magazine. What could we have called this magazine other than Composure? Because it sounds like a word that you tell a woman that you say is hysterical.

Yes, 100%. Like calm down. Like instead of getting a lobotomy, why don't you just have some composure? Sure, yeah. You know? Have some, yeah. Instead of complaining about your right to vote,

why don't you just get some fucking composure? Calm down and look at this list of 10 cute scarves for fall. Calm down. I can do both. I can vote and have scarves. So yeah, Kate Hudson writes for Composure magazine. She's the like, she's the how-to gal. So we see these like clips of her like doing the stuff that she's writing about.

There's just an arbitrary clip of her trying to put together like a bed or something and falling down. I guess that's like rom-com shorthand. There was some trope like in a rom-com the leads have to fall down so they're relatable. So like they just do that in the first like two seconds. This movie is like full of notes. You can just see the notes like make her fall down. So she does that. This movie is full of notes. You can just see the notes, like, make her fall down. So she does that. Yeah, we see her getting out of a ticket.

But then back at the office, her glamorous giant magazine office, where everyone's well dressed and makes money, she wants to write a piece on how to bring peace to Tajikistan. She wants to write about foreign affairs, but the boss, she'll never go for it. And that's when we meet our other character, Matthew McConaughey, riding his motorcycle through New York City. Hey, New York City, it's like a character in this movie.

Do you guys think that New York City is like a character in the movie? No, it's not. No, it's not. You want to know why? Because in the first 20 minutes, there is someone that our main character has to get out of bed because she's depressed and she has to get to a meeting in 15 minutes in Manhattan. And she hasn't even taken a shower yet. It's and she makes it. They got coffee along the way. Fucking makes it on time for the meeting. I, I have never once done that. I was chronically late when I lived in New York City. I had been fired from places.

It is one of my, it's the worst. It's the worst. You know, I'll say New York is definitely a character. And it is also incredibly miscast. Because later we meet all of Matthew McConaughey's family. Southern family. And they're all from the South. Yeah, but they all moved to Long Island?

Staten Island. Staten Island. They're Southerners, they're all like, hey, welcome to Staten Island. And it's like, why? I'm Jim Bob. And they literally put up roots, because there's babies there.

I'm like, what Southern person is having babies in Staten Island? I love the idea of like the seventh generation statin, statin Islanders who are all just like, we're keeping the accent. I'm Bobby Ray. I used to be in the East street band. Well, listen, I lived in New York and it's been like this forever. So people made fun of me all the time. Oh my God, you guys, I was looking back at pictures on Facebook recently and I was like, I feel like at my internship in New York in 2005,

I only wore flip flops in New York. Hmm. OK, that's that I did. I did only wear flip flops. I had two internships that I would run to in midtown and I was wearing those brown leather flip-flops that they were Ram, Rainbow Brand. Do you remember those? Oh yeah, sure.

I had rainbows growing up. That was my only pair of shoes. I love the bravery of someone who's just like, I don't give a shit. You can bite my toes, rats. Well, I just thought that that's what was in style, but I look at the picture and then everyone else is wearing closed-toed shoes.

I'm the only one wearing denim Bermuda shorts and fucking rainbow flip-flops. Did you always have tetanus and rolled ankles? No, I didn't. I was like very healthy in New York, I don't know. It's like, I have no idea. But the funny thing is the picture of me in the flip flops and the jean shorts

is at a jello wrestling event. Hell yeah. Okay. Even better for close toes. Sure. Well I know there's just like loose jello stuff all over the floor and I'm like, eee, bang, ba-ga-ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Like it's just just so dumb.

Anyway, that's funny. So anyway, that thing that happened to you is funnier than anything that happens in this movie. So okay, we go back to Kate Hudson and she's going to visit her friend and coworker, Katherine Hahn. You know, if there's a minute where you think this movie's gonna be great, you're like, hey, fucking Katherine Hahn's here, oh my God.

And it's definitely a Judy Greer thing, right? Have you seen that sweatshirt that says Judy Greer should have been the lead? No, but that's a great sweatshirt. Yeah, so it's that phenomenon where the best friend is always the more interesting, better actor, and it's like, oh, just make this move, okay, whatever. I had a theory here.

Catherine Han, a guy broke up with her, she's in a big, poofy nightgown. Emily, did you want the nightgown? No. Oh, really, you didn't like the nightgown? Uh-uh, I had those nightgowns as a kid. They were these up-to-the the neck flannel nightgowns. As a little girl, I thought they were cute,

but they itchy as fuck. Oh, okay, okay. Itchy, and they don't breathe good. So you know the nightgowns though? Oh yeah, I know the nightgowns. I had like a red and white one with like a bow pattern all over it. I'll find a picture.

But my favorite thing to do would be to, we have these registers, we had an old house, and there were these like, you know, registers on the floor where it was like, that's where the air conditioning and the heat comes out of. I didn't know they were called registers. I think that's what we called them.

I don't know. I like it. Yeah, the little vent guys. Yeah, the little vent guys. I would hover over those with my nightgown and let the warm air go up it, but I also peed in there. Sure, cool. I don't know why.

A lot of things to pee in. I got caught doing it too. I don't know, my friends and I, it was like, we would wait to pee for so long, or you'd be in bed and you don't want to get up. That's how you get a kidney stone. But you know what? There's a register in your room you don't want to get up. So then you'd be like. That's how you get a kidney stone. But you know what? There's a register in your room.

So you just pee in that. Pee in the register. Cha-ching. But you're already wearing a nightgown and no pants. Just hover, hover over it, baby. It's a great tip. New York sounds fun. Yeah. This was Tennessee.

That's Tennessee. Fair, fair, fair, fair. I didn't pee in registers in New York, but that would have made more sense. It's okay. You didn't like the nightgown, that's swinging a miss for me. Okay, so what happened? Kathryn Hahn broke up with this guy she was seeing

and their boss, Bibi Neuwirth, who looks awesome in this, always got her in something cool. Amazing. Fun to see her. Bibi Neuwirth loves this. She loves the breakup and says, "'We gotta write an article about this breakup. And then, Katherine Hahn doesn't want to do it, but Kate Husson kind of jumps in and save

her and says, I'll do it. I'll write the article and it'll be about all the bad things women do to drive men away and I'll lose the guy in 10 days. Bibi Neuwirth loves it. Oh my God, start writing that article, she says. So parallel to this, Matthew McConaughey works at an ad agency. Tom Lennon also works at the ad agency,

great to see Tom Lennon. Yeah, way to go Tom Lennon. A young, fresh off the state Tom Lennon, he's in a little bow tie, it's very cute. So Matthew McConaughey wants to, at his ad agency, where he takes off his shirt a lot, just to hang around the office with no shirt on, he wants to be the head of this diamond campaign,

but the boss is like, you're a man, diamonds are for women, and he's like, I'm gonna prove to you, I know how women think, I'll make a woman fall in love with me in 10 days! Oh, shit. So he has 10 days to attend this work party with the woman who is in love with him. If the boss deems the woman in love with him, he gets the diamond account. Fucking whatever.

All right. It makes enough sense. Sure, I guess. I guess we can keep going with the movie. My favorite thing is how this man knew that she was in love before she did. Like, let's tell her how she feels. Yeah, okay, you're in love.

He gets the diamond account. All right, shut the fuck up. You're in love, hey. Yeah, so they both have their missions, and these missions will line up in some hilarious ways. So they're at this like restaurant and Matthew McConaughey is looking for a woman to fall in love with and Kate Henson is looking

for a guy to drive away in 10 days. Matthew McConaughey is kind of scanning the bar. Hey, I think it's time for Hunk Watch. Woo! It's Hunk Watch. Okay, there's this thing where they're scanning around the bar for like women to date and they like go to all of these supposed comedy choices.

Right, like oh my God, can you imagine Matthew McConaughey dating her? And the women they go to are all hot and infinitely more interesting seeming than anyone in this movie. I wanna shout out the two, like, quote unquote, comedy choices who I would much rather have spent this fucking movie with.

There's a woman in leopard print who's chugging a Budweiser. She's great. I would be so happy about her. She seems like a friend. Can I tell you something? Today, I wore this leopard print mesh top and like hoop earrings. And then I was watching this at work and I went,

oh that's me. This lady. I'm in the movie. She's kind of a big lady, she's drinking a beer, wearing a leopard, I was like, what's wrong with her? She's great. She's like in the Sopranos. Oh fuck.

This is like when Junior Soprano sees Larry David on TV and thinks he's on TV. You gotta watch the Sopranos, it's a great moment. So she's rad, and then the other one is like a woman in like a cape who they call like Babylon 5 or something like that. I guess she's supposed to be in there. And she looks fucking awesome,

and I bet she's fooling it anyway. Fucking movie, Hunk Watch, these women are great. So, but they finally land on Kate Hudson, and so it's on. They have this like flirty one word each conversation with each other where he's like, dinner, she's like, maybe, now, okay, let's go, uh-huh. And then they go out and like ride his motorcycle.

So it's on. It's really hot. I actually really It's fucking hot. I was like I was like yeah There's there is some chemistry here. Oh, yeah They're both like they both are good at this the movie being bad is not like their fault like oh You know like Kate Hudson's miscast but like but you know, they both like know how to do this Kate Hudson's miscast, but they both know how to do this. Here's my biggest issue with this movie is the level of cringe. Yeah, oh my God.

I could barely watch this movie, I want you to know. I wanted to leave the room, and then I had to force myself to sit here and watch the cringiness. Ugh! Yeah, no, I think- It'd be crazy. I think Gen Z likes this movie because they have all not had long-term relationships yet. And so in watching this movie, you're, as someone who's been in multiple long-term relationships

and is currently married, I was just like, you guys, just get your shit together. Find love, find someone you like, develop a partnership, like what are we doing here? What are we ruining each other's lives? Well, also it was cringe for me because it was like, oh, it's a reminder that I forgot that I'm not supposed to do all the stuff in this movie. You're like, so that's how I lost those guys in 10 days.

Well, I thought I- Now, now you're not supposed to take a piece of pizza out of your man's mouth and put in a cucumber sandwich. I know you're always doing that. You're always buying tickets to Nick's games and making him miss the ending. Yeah. No, I mean, it's just the,

all the stuff that Catherine Hahn's character, they were saying she did, that she was just like, oh, it was the best week of my life. And they broke up, I'm like, oh, that's pretty. Yeah, I know. A little on the nose, guys. What are we doing? I'm in the movie again, and I'm not chugging a beer

wearing leopard print. Well, I bet you that lady was doing that earlier too. So that kind of starts the comedy set pieces a little bit. So they go to this Nick's game together. Kate Hudson is actually a big Nick's fan and so is Matthew Bacanahe. So one of the first things she does is during the last play or whatever,

she says, get me a soda. I'm thirsty, get me a soda. And he keeps having to go get it. It's such a fuckin' non thing. And he sees the end of the game on the TV anyway. I know it's weird not to be in your seat anyway. The fuckin' soda thing sucks. And then, so it's just like her,

it's just a series of little sketches where she's trying to drive him away. She says she got tickets to something, he thinks it's a Nick game. It's a Celine Dion concert, hey! Boo hoo! Which we, I bet that's fuckin' great. I bet a Celine Dion concert. Hey. Boo hoo. Which I bet that's fucking great. I bet a Celine Dion concert is amazing.

Incredible, incredible. And there's no way that he left that concert still being annoyed. Like maybe he'd show up there, be like, man, I thought it was a Knicks game. But like two songs in, he'd be like, oh, is this the best living singer of all time? But also it feels like Celine Dion is the equivalent

In her prime. is the equivalent to a Knicks game. Yes. Like here's the most. Also too though, if this guy's a giant Knicks fan, why does he not know they're not playing? Yeah, he should have known that 100%. Anyway.

Yeah, the soda thing was wild to me. I can't imagine, I barely get a cup of water after sex Then going back cuz they got the wrong soda sure no I just get splashed with Gatorade He gives me a sip of his He just gives me a sip of his and then takes it back over to the side of his fucking bed. As soon as I enter that stairwell where she can't see me, I stand there and watch the rest of the game. That's what I would do.

I wouldn't actually go get the soda. There's 30 seconds left. Come on. Play dumb. Yeah. You play dumb. Oh, sorry, there was a line. She can't see.

Fuck her. Sorry. So he, so you, sorry, there was a line. Well, she can't see. Fuck her. Sorry. So he, so you know, so it's a bunch of stuff. She goes over to his like poker night and they're eating pizza and she takes the pizza out of their mouth and like puts in cucumber sandwiches. And they all like gag.

And I'm like, like, if you make it something weird, write a fucking joke, like a cute, like have her having made something really, really crazy. Like, but like just like. A vegetable is not that crazy. I know, yeah, it's just this thing of like, guys hate vegetables, women love Celine Dion. Also, if you were gonna drive away a guy in 10 days,

wouldn't you just start hitting on his friends? 100%, yes, very quickly. You can drive a guy away. Walk Tom Lennon in front of him. By the way, yes, Tom Lennon, you're first. Yeah, he could get it. Adam Goldberg too, Adam Goldberg. People sleep on Adam Goldberg,

but he's one of the hottest 90s guys. He's cute, he's cute. But Tom Lennon, we gotta go comedy, gotta go topic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going comedy. Anyone who is in the state. Yeah, exactly. So you know, there's a bunch of these things.

He agrees to go see a couple's therapist, but they just dress up Katherine Hahn. I'm like, oh cool, this might be. That was funny. Yeah, I'm like, Katherine Hahn playing a character, that's kinda nice. There's these little moments where this cool, extended cast gets to shine.

And that's something they did really well in these movies. We watched, what was the other fucking one we watched that's based on a book? Oh yeah, he's just not that into you. Yeah, that is also a very bad movie, but it had all these great little performances from cool comedy actors doing a good job. This movie felt a lot, I was thinking about that,

that this movie felt a lot like that, but it was funny. Like it was, How to Lose Guy in 10 Days is definitely, they don't care about being subtle or thoughtful or really thinking about it. They're just like, we're going straight to stereotypes. I don't care, I don't care. Two big stars that they're taking to the bank. That's essentially what was going on.

Yeah, yeah. Here getting a paycheck. I like big broad comedies, but you have to either, ideally you have both, either someone who's written great jokes, it's Mean Girls. Justina Fey wrote the fuck out of that script. And it's big and it's broad and it's kind of mean in places, but it's full of great jokes, like it's Mean Girls. You know, like Justina Fey wrote the fuck out of that script and it's like big and it's broad and it's kind of mean in places, but like it's full of great jokes.

And like, or you have like a big cool comedy performance. Like if Kate McKinnon was this lead, you know, like you could see maybe it being something, her playing kind of an unhinged psycho, but whatever. Yeah. So. Or if Catherine Hahn had just been the lead. Yeah, I know, right?

Geez, yeah. Kate Hudson for all her talents, can't do this. And I will say this- Who could though? I guess who could? The night before I watched this, I watched The House Sitter, and that's Goldie Hahn and Steve Martin, and that's currentlyie Hawn and Steve Martin. And that's currently through with that.

And it was like, they both are, Kate, okay. Kate Hudson is a singular talent. She's not exactly like her mom, but. Of course. It is kind of nice, because she reminds me so much of her mom, and I love her mom so much. But yeah, but she's her own thing.

It's kind of crazy, because this is not the first, they've done another movie together called Fool's Gold in 2008. So they were, they made a couple of these horrible romantic comedies. The Y2K, Bogie and Bacall, Kate Hudson, and Matthew McConaughey. So yeah, so this whole fucking thing goes on.

They finally, they go to his parents' house. Yes, his parents' house on Long Island. Is that where it is, Matt? Staten, Staten Island. Staten Island, they're fucking twangy Southerners on Staten Island. Oh, us? We're Italian.

Gaba-gool, y'all. Yeah, yeah, We're Italian. Gabbagool, y'all. You're gonna eat that mozzarella. Bless your heart, I'm walking here. You know, I woke up this morning and I got myself a gun. It does gotta work. And shots and possums. Hey, there's a duck in my pool. That's gotta work. Yeah. Yeah. And shots and possums. Hey, there's a duck in my pool.

Southern Sopranos, I don't know. You gotta watch The Sopranos. Get mad TV back on the air, this Blink Patch would say. Okay, so this part of the movie is just like, I'm just fucking relieved nobody's being awful to each other. Like his family's cute, they're playing cards, it's cute, they're both being charming.

Like this is the most tolerable part of this movie. It's like, I'm like, okay, yeah, this is like how these movies can kind of be fun. They have this little moment in his, like she needs to, what happens to her where she needs to shower, she gets something on her? Like they have a funky shower where the handles don't match.

Oh yeah. Which I feel like everyone's shower is hard to figure out, like I don't know why that is. Yeah, a car like does that thing in movies where a car hits a puddle and sprays water, it's like disgusting water all over them while they're out in Staten Island and then they have a hot shower together.

Or almost a hot shower. Well, I mean, it was pretty hot. It took forever to get their clothes off though because you just saw them shuffling around for like five minutes and I'm like, are the tits out or not? Take them out. What is happening?

Dump them out. And like, so that was really hot though. And I don't know, I liked that house. And I remember she said this thing. And this is like when, you know, she's starting to have feelings for him, even though she's been trying to drive him away. And she was just like, I love this house and all the smells

and the way it looks and all this stuff. And I'm like, oh God, that's exactly, that is the kiss of death. When you meet this guy's family and you like the way the house smells, you are done. You are done. You are in it. It sucks.

And she is so horny by being in his mom's, mom's in the other room watching 60 Minutes. We have to be quiet. A little, a little bit, that's kinda hot. We gotta be quiet. Like being a couple of 40 year old teenagers. I think that I've never brought a boy home to my parents. And I wonder if they'd make us sleep in separate rooms.

I don't think they would. Not now. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I haven't asked him, because I don't have a reason to. And maybe I never will. Someday you will. Someday.

Someday I'll have to argue to fuck this guy in our house I grew up in. Okay, you can sleep in the same room, but it's bunk beds. So we have to be in bunk beds. Oh yeah, well if that's the case, then I'm gonna piss in the register so hell yeah fuck you mom fuck you mom pissing in the register

give me that nightgown right now! Merry Christmas! god damn it ebony just stay in a Marriott just stay there stop peeing everywhere and yelling at us and fucking central AC cost $25,000. I'm also gonna do that thing where I wake up middle of the night and open the pantry and I lick my finger and stick it in the brown sugar

and eat it. Oh yeah, that thing. A lot. I coulda gotten a spoon. But no. So this part of the movie is like nice. It's just a relief that it's not like a bunch of bad comedy. And you know, you get to see them be charming

and it's cute and there's like a connection and some real like observations about you know, early relationships and falling in love and stuff. Anyway, so they go to his big work party. It's a big like diamond gala. They meet the like head of the diamond company, Mrs. Dularre. She is wearing a bunch of feathers on her head.

I think this is the worst hat in the movie. Yes! I was hoping you'd do this. Yeah. She's kind of a kooky fun character, but too little, too late movie. They both find out that each other was a bet or a magazine article or a diamond commercial

or whatever they're trying to do. They're both mad at each other. Marvin Hamlisch is the musical guest at this gala. Who is that? He's like a famous composer. Okay. Yeah. Who's to me?

And it's him and it's like the actual guy and he, and I'm just like grope, I'm just like, something funny happened in this thing, please. And they get on stage and have this big like karaoke fight with each other and just, they tell Marvin Hamlisch to like, play this song, play, oh, play You're So Vain. And he just like rolls his eyes and starts playing it in this way where I'm like yeah fine.

He just has this like all right I guess I'm in this movie look that. I'm like yeah, it me Marvin Hamlisch, it me. He tries to get out of it and goes I don't even know that. And then he's like come on help me out. And he's like okay I know that, fine. I even know that. And then he was like, come on, help me out. And he was like, okay, I know that, fine. I need the check. So okay, the, yeah.

Wait, I do wanna talk about the diamond necklace. Oh sure. That thing is like, it became incredibly famous, that necklace. From this movie? Yes, I think it is like a, the design is like a one in a, I don't know, I think it might be completely unique,

but Lady Gaga wore it when she won her Oscar for best song. Really? Oh, I did not know that. Yeah, she was- And people are like, that's the how to lose a guy in 10 days necklace? Literally, that is what people said it are.

They're like, that's a- No way. Yes, yes, because that yellow dress and that necklace have kind of, they're in every kind of top 10 best like evening gown like list. And then that necklace is like, if you look up top 10 most famous, look at me, I'm being her. Yeah, you're doing Buzzfeed.

I know, if you look up like top 10 most important pieces of jewelry and film, that necklace is gonna be in there. Interesting. Crazy, I did not know that. Along with the heart of the ocean and stuff. Okay. Damn, that's crazy. It's a, so this necklace fiend's watching this movie

on Netflix over and over again. That's me. Well yeah, exactly. I was the audience. Okay. And Celine Dion sort of makes an appearance in both. Oh. Holy shit. Yeah, all right. So we should do six degrees And Celine Dion sort of makes an appearance in both. Holy shit. So we should do six degrees of Celine Dion.

She's near, she's far, she's wherever you are. Man, she would have been a great insurance salesman. That would have been great. I'm near or far. I'm wherever you are. So we're almost at the end. Let's take a break and we'll talk about the fucking dumb conclusion of how to lose a guy

and friend and whatever. We hate it. Hey, before we get back to the show, very exciting. Hey, before we get back to the show, very exciting, we got a new Jumbotron. This is where folks go to maximumfund.org slash Jumbotron. They pay a nominal fee, and then we share a message with our listeners. Could be anything. Could be a personal message to friends. Could be a plug,

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but whenever is great. So yeah, we decided to attach this to the scariest movie we've ever done. It is truly horrible. Oh, what if a man had his CDs replaced by a woman? Musical guest. Musical guest, someone else's music. Or what's the guy, what's the dude, the fucking composer?

Yeah, Marvin Hamlisch. Musical guest, what's the dude, the fucking composer? Yeah, the beautiful. Marvin. The musical guest, Marvin Hamlisch, who we'll be talking about later in the episode. Ooh. That's the Jumbotron. Maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron and Maximumfun.org slash join. These are two ways to support our show

and ensure that it keeps coming out. All right, back to the show. We're back, It's Free with ads. We're talking about how to lose a guy in 10 days. I have an answer. The end part of it, how do you lose a guy in 10 days? Show them this movie. Boom have an answer. The end part of it. I have an answer. How do you lose a guy in 10 days? Show him this movie. Boom, fucking roasted.

I'd hate to be this movie right about now. Um, cause I would suck anyway. So, you know, they don't like each other cause it's the third act and the thing happens and they don't like each other. But then Kate Hudson is like crying to Katherine Hahn who has a big cat of course she's a sad cat lady and then and then there's a knock at the door and the guy that dumped her in the first act he's back Mike Mike's back I think Mike's the tallest person in the movie tallest guy there it is uh and the whole so she

and Mike are reconciling and the whole time I'm like close the door the cats gonna run out Fucking thing when you have a cat and someone leaves the door open you freak out and can't concentrate on the movie. Yes Close the door Katherine Hahn And then the next day the article comes out the Matthew-con-a-flipped through the article. It's three pages long, this thing. It's like huge type. It's like, whatever. So he reads it and it's this thing where we don't actually read the article,

but just something in it moves him. He realizes that she was in love the whole time. And so he runs to her office, classic romcom ending. They are like, he's like, where's Kate Hudson? And they're like, she just left for a job in Washington. So he of course jumps on his motorcycle, like chases after her cab. The cab pulls over and they kiss and the movie's over.

Okay. So fucking stupid. Yep. That's the end. I'm sorry, but this whole thing about like, I just want to write about politics. Show her reading once. Like show her being interested in politics once.

I think it's actually an interesting character. Sure, it totally is. I know. So yeah. Being forced to write like this schlock when you really want wanna do something serious is totally like fine. And I think relatable in some sense,

but show her being that interesting. No, the only other personality treat they gave her was sports. Yes, that's it. They just gave it the Knicks. Like she likes the Knicks and also politics. Like why? I don't know.

We never met her parents or her family. It's like, it's just, she's a blank slate of someone pretending to be someone else. He was a way more fleshed out character than she was, and she's supposed to be our main character. It is. He actually has no good reason to be in love with her. No.

Like, like. The whole movie was him being kind of nice. Like. Yeah, and him being shit on. And then it ends where he's just like, oh wait, I am in love with her. Why? Why? Yeah. Because she was nice to you one time with your parents?

She was acting insane. Yes. And the idea of a person ping-ponging like that between insane and nice to your parents, anyway. Red flag. Listen, we've all ignored a red flag or two in our lives. Yes, we have. We've all done it.

But, you know, armchair quarterback, I know what they should have done. Yeah, hindsight is 20-20. Anyway. But, you know. I love red flags. Whatever. Sure. They mean go.

I sail the boat toward the red flag. My boat is made out of red flags. Wow. I tied together red flags. Anyway, we want to talk about the best lines, but I do think it's worth doing a little dive into the comment section. Comment section. To look into the comment section of

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is to stare into the face of madness. If they ever do another Evil Dead movie, instead of reading the Necronomicon, they should read the comments of How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, and that's how you get Satan inside you. Because the fucking insane shit that's in the comment section of How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days is crazy. Okay, here's just one. I had to cut out my own children. I spoiled them to the point that they no longer respected me They loved all I did for them and the money and I love I spent on them

They never complained about the vacations and gifts and good life But had a problem when I demanded respect it is what it is say lovey smell you later. Take care brush your hair Go kick rocks Am I turning into a toad? That was like a spell. Is this comment section the perfect place to go scream into the void? I think it is. I think it's just a void people go and scream into. Maybe it is.

Maybe, yeah, they're just doing primal shitposting therapy. I propose a new recurring segment. Sure. I'm gonna put something crazy in the 10 ways to lose a guy, or whatever, in 10 days, whatever. I'm gonna post something absolutely unhinged in this comment section and see if anyone notices. I love it.

Oh, so we'll check in with it. We'll check back in. Okay, Emily, you'll do a post between now and the next episode and we'll check in and see what kind of wacky responses you get. This is Emily being the new how-to girl. There you go. How to get blocked or banned from YouTube

because of a comment section. Maybe you'll get a job at Calm the Fuck Down magazine. I love reading Why Are Women Like This? Sure. Did you get the newest issue of your shouting in the restaurant? Anyway. I love reading Are You On Your Period? Sure.

Like, magazine.com. Aunt Flo's monthly visit, that's when the magazine comes. So, all right, so let's talk about some of the lines in this movie, best lines. Okay, so there's one of the wacko things she does is name his penis in this little segment. Aw, the Princess Sophia. Come on, Blake., the Princess Sophia grumble.

Who's Princess Sophia? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, you're kidding me, right? Princess Sophia? Little big, little big, I don't know, we will find out. So they call back that fucking Princess Sophia thing 40 times. They thought this was so funny And I love just like it's the laziest movie just during this sex scene. There's plan Just like has that anyway yeah as anyone in the history of soprano sex ever actually fucked to it like after 1997 maybe.

Like. I don't even, Kenny G's like turn this off. Yeah, Kenny G's like this is just for the dentist. Okay, well can I be a little gross? Please. You may. And do my hunk watch. Yes.

Oh, there's a hunk we haven't, do you haven't talked about yet? Yes, go ahead. It's hunk watch. Again. It is just Matthew McConaughey's torso. I mean, he's not, he's not. She rips the shirt open

and starts making fun of his penis. That woman is into some BDSM. Like, I mean, I couldn't, I wouldn't be able to make fun of his penis. It's called femdom, and there's nothing wrong with it. Okay, good. Some of us want to be called little worms, all right? Princess Sophia's.

Oh, God, little worm is fun. I gotta be honest, this is a completely unrelatable part of the movie to me. I think it's only relatable if you are so hot that you literally could just have sex whenever you wanted, in which you would complain about what a woman calls your penis, whatever. They're gonna touch it.

That's amazing. I'm just happy they're gonna touch it. Call it whatever you want. Call it Shrek, fine. Yeah, I don't give a shit. The fact that he's like, no, it needs a cool name. I was just like, you fuck way too much then. You don't deserve sex.

Yeah, Shrek, it's a little swampy and it smells like onions. Yeah. And as a friend named Donkey. What does any of this mean? Which is also an ass. Yeah, okay. That's right.

Okay. Yes, yep. All right. Both of you are named Shrek in the piece. Cool. Right, hey, right, we. Yes, yep. All right. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Both of you are named Shrek in the piece. Cool. Let her know. All right, hey, we're cool with it. We said, go ahead.

I can be Shrek. I hate myself. Emily, you got a word? All right, okay. I thought this opening was kind of insane with the women's magazine that was called, Take Her Kids Away, She's Nuts, or whatever the fuck the name

of it, no matter what, yeah. So, BD Newworth is kind of the, you know, Anna Wintour of this whole magazine. And all the ladies are gathered around for pitches and poor Catherine Hahn, they're like, oh, she's not having a good day. She got broken up with. And this is what transpires.

I wasn't feeling very well. She got dumped. Oh, no, Michelle. What a hellish ordeal for you. But I must say, you are looking fabulous. Are we loving the way she looks all? Oh, you're so right. She looks great.

I haven't eaten since the split. Good for you. Write about it. That was a funny line. That was a good line. It was funny because it's also just like, the movie seemed kind of self-aware at the beginning about how stupid these magazines can be

and how they're like, all of these tips and tricks and stuff are actually very hurtful to women. But it was like, I liked them painting B.B. Norwood as kind of this villainous boss, and then they didn't really... Yeah, they teased it like it was going to, the movie was gonna make a statement about these kinds of magazines and articles, and then they said, no teased it like it was going to, like the movie was going to make a statement about these kinds of

magazines and articles and then they said no, forget it. We're just gonna watch them be mean. It was, well I was kind of excited. I was like, oh, I haven't seen this movie because it seemed kind of, I don't know, I didn't really want to see it. And yeah, but then I saw that was like, okay, this is like you got Katherine Hahn, you got B.Buwirth. Also Shalom Harlow is the two business ladies who work at the Diamond Place that are trying to, they're in competition with Matthew McConaughey. Shalom Harlow is the very tall brunette who is one of the most famous supermodels of all time.

Oh wow, okay. And it was really cool to see her in this movie, I loved it. Yeah. It was like, look at all these fabulous women, and then it was like, Princess Sophia's a dick. It was like, ugh, I don't know, so much potential. Yeah, I know, the first like 10 minutes of this movie,

you're like, okay, all right, hey, all right, this might be, and then yeah, just Princess Sophia until the fucking end. Okay, we're going to rank How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials when we come back. We're back, it's Free With Ads. We're going to rank how to lose a guy in 10 days on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials. Matt, you want to go first? Yeah, we're giving this bad boy a hot two.

One two, and that is one point for being New York. Did you just say hawk two? Yeah, yeah, one hawk two. No, I'm giving it a hawk two for that. Learn to count with memes. Three moo-dangs. Yeah, three moo-dangs. Four I like turtles kids.

Yeah, no, I get it. I don't need more memes. Yeah, that's it. That's all there ever was. Yeah, I give it two because, you know, it was mostly bad, but I did like for a second this fantasy world of having a job in a magazine. And I did think they had chemistry. So, you know, that's what they get. Emily, what do you got? All right.

I'm going to give it a three because of Bibi Neuwirth and Catherine Hahn. Like it was I was happy to see them. I loved the first 20 minutes. I was very intrigued. All of the romance and back and forth was so painful for me to watch that I didn't give a shit what happened at the end. Also, I guess I give out like a half a point for diamonds.

OK, so three point five, I guess. But I don't want to watch it again. But, you know, there it is. OK. Yeah, yeah, I'll go ahead and finish this out. I'm gonna give it a zero. Wow! You know, for all that stuff that happened in it. I respect you.

So, thank you. I'm a man of, I'm a principled man. I want to remain consistent with men. That's right, Princess Sophia, you are. Thank you. Oh, really, me, a princess? Oh. That means I will be queen someday

when Mama passes away. Mama is my balls. Mama, yes, my balls are Mama, the queen. No, no. This is fun, I guess. I'm sure we're doing the best we can. I know. Okay, that's how to lose a guy in 10 days.

We'll do a little bit of plug-in here. On November 9th, I am going to be at Berkeley Public Library Comic Con at the, you guessed it, Berkeley Public Library. Yeah, it's a free event. There's gonna be a bunch of cool comics folks doing panels, signing books. Hey, a signed comic book.

Great holiday gift, by the way. Come grab one at the Berkeley Public Library Comic Con. I'm gonna be doing a panel at 11 a.m. with my good buggy Maggie Takuta Hall, brilliant comics writer, and a bunch of other cool folks. So come to the panel at 11 a.m. and get some signed books. Why don't ya? Berkeley Public Library Comic Con,

you can go to berkeleypubliclibrary.org to find out more information. Emily, got anything? Yeah. Good Mythical Tour is coming back the weekend of November 15th and 16th. I don't know if those are the dates of the shows, but it's on that weekend. You figure it out. Sorry. I should be a lot more thoughtful than that, but that's what we're doing.

It's an easy Google. That's an easy Google. Yeah, just Google the shit. But yeah. And there'll also be a link more thoughtful than that. But that's what we're doing. It's an easy Google. That's an easy Google. Yeah, just Google the shit. But yeah. And there'll also be a link in the show notes. Oh, yes. Thank you, Matt. But yeah, we're going to be in Texas. So two different places in Texas. I know one of them's Dallas.

Uh, I'm going to try to do some stand up while I'm there, too, in Dallas. So I will probably have something about that coming soon. But I love you. All right, that's the show. Tune in next week when our movie will be Son of Godzilla. ["Son of Godzilla"] Maximum fun. A worker-owned network. Thanks for watching!