Free With Ads - Longlegs

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

We continue Hallowpeen with the closest thing we can get to a "recent" movie, the 2024 horror film Longlegs, starring Nicolas Cage and directed by Osgood Perkins.Tune in next week when our movie will be... The Ring-----Watch Emily, Matt, and Jordan on Good Mythical Weekend! Watch "Emily Have You Seen This?" on the Mythical SocietyOn Oct 22 you can get a copy of Jordan Morris's comic book Predator: Black White and Blood #4! Jordan will be signing the book Sat Oct 25th from 4-6pm at Things From Another World at Universal Citywalk.On Nov 8th, Jordan will be at the Burbank Book Festival, at the Buena Vista Branch Library from 10am-11am.And later that same day, Nov 8th, Jordan will be at Revenge Of Comics and Pinball for their Comic Creator Parking Lot Party.

This is free with ads. that asked the question, why pay Hulu 12 bucks a month to watch a bunch of recent Nicholas Cage movies when you can go online for free and watch a recent Nicholas Cage movie that's actually good? I mean, all Nicholas Cage movies are amazing, but you get what I mean. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Long Legs, the 2024 horror hit directed by Oz Perkins, the son of screen legend Anthony Perkins. I've heard of a Nepo baby, but a psycho baby? What about a Psycho 2 baby? arguably better than a psycho one baby that's my hot take my wrong hot take

with us as always is the super producer the he freak hitting us with those haunting seasonally appropriate drops there it is that's me when I'm looking for my parents in the grocery store it's true guys there were so many clips that I could have chosen for that intro. What were the backups? What were the backups? I have so many. Let's get a look at your process, Matt. For all the process nerds. Behind the music. Yeah. See how that sausage is made. I would love a mockumentary of me in a really just ungodly

big studio with a mixer that I do not use. And it's eight hours. It's like, get back. Peter Jackson recreated the footage of you making drops. And it's just me fighting with my bandmates. And yeah, I have bandmates uh yeah so i mean like i've just i've got a bunch you guys are so mean to george harris that's a good one you know just like there's it's endless it's endless you didn't have the song that he did oh you think i don't you think i don't have let me in now and it can be that's uh whenever god it's so good whenever i'm waiting to get led into the zoom call

i like how i like how how you have like these are like deleted scenes but they're drops for people who buy the DVD people don't know the amount of prep work that goes into making this dumb podcast and I appreciate a little recognition most of the work is Matt

let's all recognize Matt let's all recognize Matt Jordan has this gigantic doc filled with facts and scene by scene breakdown and I'm like I made the little music from clipies and I have tits that's true

Which is a kind of work. Yeah, someone's the brains of this operation. I'm the tits of this operation, there it is. We're going to talk about long legs, maybe the most recent movie we've ever talked about on this podcast, a movie that came out last year. Imagine that. We're going to talk about...

Can't believe this is available. This is really crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to talk about long legs, which we watch streaming with our library cards on canopy. But we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. This is something. There it is.

Sorry, Matt again. I don't respect you, so I talk over your drops. I apologize. I recognize Matt. The George Harrison of this operation, the sweet spiritual one who doesn't get enough respect. That's right. Can I be Ringo? Sure.

You're definitely Ringo. Yeah. What are tits but the drumsticks of the chest? That is so true. That is so true. Drumsticks of the chest Yes I got a bad back

Because of my giant tits I can't find a good sports bra Oh I mean an octopus's garden It's hard It's hard to run Because of these giant knockers This is fun We should just do this instead of talk about the movie

Why even watch a movie guys Why do we do anything Like okay What if the Beatles had big jugs That's the show week anyway we want to

talk about long legs which is as of this recording streaming free with ads but we want to talk about

something else we found free on the internet this week Matt Till you want to play the drop again of course

I'll play the drop again of the free stuff rock and roll okay so this was a link to a Wikipedia page that I saw

posted on the blue sky by a great writer Ryan North Ryan North good writer fun poster on blue sky this is a

wiki Pedia lists of what is considered to be the worst music ever produced. And guys, would it be gratuitous if I told you I made a sting for this particular thing? Oh my, for this one? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Here we go. The worst hat song edition.

Wow. Matt, you are kind of a long legs. You're leaving us all these clues, all these ciphers. What is he? what is he doing down in that basement with those dolls? I know, I'm like, avoiding his child meets the snowman. So this is, this is the worst hat song edition. That's right.

Rolls off the tongue. That sure does. Perfect name. So I think when, when people, so they're, they're kind of like cobbling together the worst songs based on like critic reviews, you know, the reader poll type things in like Rolling Stone, like negative YouTube comments. So they're kind of going year by, year and saying, what are the worst songs and albums? And I think anyone who would look at this,

at least a few times would go, oh, fuck, I love half these songs. And I think anybody who looks, and you feel like shit because you're like, oh, wait, all these scientifically determined bad songs are all on my running playlist. So I want to talk about some of them, but I thought we could go through it, find some that we personally are shocked or on there. Uh, here is mine. Matt, would you play this? Absolutely. We built this city. Oh, God.

I love it. I love it. We built this city on rock and roll. Built this city. I love how it doesn't make sense. I love how it's a rock and roll song that's not really in the genre of rock. It's a wrong about rock and roll. It's not really a rock and roll song.

I mean, it's a terrible song. How dare you. But there is something about it that, like, like it makes you want to dance which it sure does it's not what rock does no it's a song about rock and roll that's in another genre yes the genre is you know 80s cocaine driving i guess um i love i love the shit that doesn't make sense i love marconi plays the mamba i love uh corporation games um it feels like it should like um have some with We Didn't Start the Fire.

Like, it feels like those two songs would date. Yeah, yeah. I know. But this song, like, we didn't start the fire did its homework. This song did not. Like, we didn't start the fire is like, is like, you know, a student who wants extra credit. And this is some, like, fuck up who rolled out of bed and snorted some adderol, you know, like this. And I like that about it.

So, yeah. The two ends of each spectrum. Of course. You need both. You need both. And yeah, like every, I think this has kind of died down a little bit the past couple of times I've been to karaoke. But I feel like for a solid five years, every karaoke, you had to hear Journey three times, right? You had to hear Don't Stop Believe in. Every time I've heard, don't stop believe it. I'm like, this should be, we built this city. This is a better version of that. It's the same genre. I think it's a better song.

I think they should have ended the Sopranos with We Built This City. Yes. Great point. Great point. Anyway, and I think what we need to do to reclaim this song, we need to get five-year-olds into it. Here's how we do it. We built this city on Paw Patrol. Oh, I love it. I was thinking if you made it the ending of the Sopranos, it's we built this city on Gabagul. Oh, my God. Matt, have you never done that on your Sopranos podcast? I haven't because I don't live in a parallel universe in which that was the ending song. We built this city on Gabagabagoo.

I mean, if I could go back in time and remake the Sopranos, I'm somehow a part of the crew now. Yeah. I would have told them, guys, forget, don't stop believing. It's about we built the city on rock and roll. Yeah. Emily, what's your song from this list? Oh, should we just have Matt play it and we'll, this is Emily's song? I just want to know.

what people listening to this thought mine would be and you're right so play it here it is yeah yeah where did you come from where did you go

where did you come from it's funny you mentioned running playlist Jordan yeah oh yeah you could fucking sprint to this oh my god this song Trulio

it's a great song it is great it rules and there's a banjo solo We got to play the banjo solo Yeah, there it is. Here's the thing. What I love about the banjo solo is It's a keyboard for sure.

It's done with a keyboard. There's something about turning on maybe the worst like banjo patch ever recorded on a fucking synthesizer and being like, yeah, this will sound good. I love it. And I think, I mean, related to this week's movie,

I think you could do a serial killer movie in 10 years called Cotton Eye Joe. Oh, easily. You just have a guy whispering this. Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. I'd be married a little time ago. No, honestly, the lyrics sound like lore. They do, yeah.

Yeah, lore about. Where do you come from? Where do you come from? Where do you go? Cotton-Eye-Jew. Joe. Yeah, yeah. He was married a long time ago, like you meet his wife. Oh, the wife is dead. She's weird and fucked up. She's like strapped to a rocking chair or something. Yeah, she's a skeleton. Yeah, she's a skeleton.

Bam-ba-dam-da-ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-bom. Matt, did you have one? I did. And it was a very interesting list because I like the way in which they organize it. Because the first few, you know, it's chronological in the first, like, maybe 10. I'm like, I have no idea what they're talking about. Of course, they're terrible songs, so maybe I wouldn't have heard them. It's like, they're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away. Like songs your dad thought was funny. Right. Yeah.

And then as the decades go on, I start recognizing the songs and getting a little bit hurt, just going like, oobla, de, obla, da is a bad song? I know, I love that song. That's a weird one, too. I think everybody loves that song, right? Right. It's very strange to me. But I found one that I was like, how dare you?

This is the greatest song Of my childhood And here's what it sounds like I love God Yes I love this song too So good It's great

It's great It's crazy All night long Let me see that song So good It's great It rules He's so passionate.

He's so passionate. Cynthia Arrivo just did an interview. I forget for what publication about her favorite, like, pop performances, vocal performances, and this was one of them. It's truly a great vocal performance. The run he does on just the word baby, like if you. Baby. Because if it was just, it's like eight notes. Like listen to how he says baby.

Hold on. Right here. Check this out. Baby Who can do that? Virtuosic Virtuosic Imagine having that

vocal control and being like I'm going to sing about thongs I'm going to use that instrument I'm going to use that He took a song that would just be corny And it would have still been a hit

Yeah He didn't give it that But he gave it everything He gave it so much I did discover some new music Funny you should bring up pop songs about the butt man. I did discover some new music looking at this list. I do think there were some songs that

deserve their place on this list. It's not all, you know, it's not, yeah, they're not all bad choices. This is a song I had never heard. This is the 2002 entry, I believe. Wow. This is from a band called The Cheeky Girls. Matt, can we play a little bit of this? Here we go from the Cheeky girls So they're They get their Chicky Girls

You are the cheek boys You are the chickie I think so Yeah It's about They get their Buts pinched

At a certain point in the video This is Is there a more European sounding song I can't believe

It It's so British I want The guys from I'm Blue. I want them to beat this shit out of the cheeky. Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. I mean, which, I bet that song was up. They should have blue handprints on their butts. I got a blue hand and it's in your face. To be clear, the song is called Cheeky song. Parenthetical, touch my bum. Touch my bum. So in case you were confused about the double

entendre in Cheeky, they are also talking about butts. Very clear. But yes. an inferior song to Cisco's thong song in my opinion. I'll be the first to say it. USA, USA, USA. That's right. Nobody does but songs like us. Well, yeah, now it's time to talk about long legs, I think.

We're going to talk about this movie. But before we do, we want to let you know that this movie contains suicide. So if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, we're going to play some music and give you a chance to find another episode. We're back. We're back. It's free with ads. We're talking about long legs. Emily, would it be fair to say that you're a sicko for this movie? Yes.

I remember, so I didn't know it was coming out, and you showed me all the weirdo teaser trailers they made for this movie, which had fucking awesome marketing. The marketing of this movie like made it ten times scarier. It did. I honestly, some people are kind of like,

oh, well, the marketing made it look different than the end product, but I consider all the marketing to be part of the movie. Like, I think that that's just a weird part of it.

It's the whole journey, experiencing that marketing and watching the movie, and then watching it a second time. It's like, I don't know. You notice more and more things when you watch it. Also,

when you watch a lot of people, um, dissecting the movie, which I have. Yeah, there's a lot of, there's a lot of, a lot of Easter eggs in this thing, a lot of like, uh, yeah, like fun subtext and like prop work. Yeah, the like IMDB, you know, trivia section of this movie is a fascinating read.

Um, yeah, I saw this, uh, in theaters too. And, uh, yeah, liked it a lot and I'm stoked to talk about it. Matt, you've also, oh, you saw it to play a character on Good Mythical Morning, right? Or Good Mythical Evening, the R-rated version of Good Mythical Morning. Right. I was playing shlong legs. Shlong legs. And I, you know, I got the character and I was just like, well, I guess I should probably see it first so I can know what he sounds like and ended up sitting watching the whole movie. And I was just like, this, what is this movie about?

And will I do it justice? I don't know what he sounds like, Matt. He sounds like 10 different guys over the course of this movie. it is the like craziest cagiest nicholas cage performance i loved it i loved it he had so much fun the only thing i wish is that he was in like he we saw him more in the movie yeah yeah he and you don't see him in any of the trailers in any of the marketing you you know like he he looks crazy when you finally do see him which i made a point to not see what his face looked like until i went into the movie like and it was very hard to do because instagram

People were putting in, anytime I almost saw it. It's very memeable. It's a very memeable face and movie in general. Yeah, but I, that, this opening scene where you get your first jump scare, I screamed so loud. Yeah, this, so yeah, let's talk about it. The movie starts out with a quote from the glam rock band T. rex, which is kind of the musical motif. It's kind of like glam rock from the 70s that recurs a couple of times. It's not like super explicit why that's there.

I think if you read a bunch of the backstory type stuff, the idea for Nicholas Cage's character is that he's like a rock and roll guy who made a deal with the devil and he's possessed and he's so anyway, but they don't say any of that in the movie. That's all very phantom of the paradise. Yeah, for sure, for sure. These are similar films in many ways.

But one is good and fun to watch. watched Oz, like Perkins movie The Black Coats daughter. Oh, how was that? It's very good and there are a lot of similar themes in this one that I feel like

they're kind of, I don't think they're like same universe, but I think that they are cousins or siblings to each other. Interesting. But our girl from like Mad Men and Killing or whatever. Kieran and Shipka. She's in the Black Coats.

daughter and then she's also in this and I was like oh her performances in both are so good i think she's a she's a great actor i've liked her thing she's like she's in a lot of like cheesy schlock stuff she's always great in it though i think she's a awesome actor yeah yeah she's great in it but yeah i'll probably at the end of this talk about like the two things about this movie that i think are tied in those two films oh yeah please do uh yeah so we get this terex quote we get a lot of spooky fonts uh and we see a little kid wandering around a snowy yard. It's in a weird aspect ratio.

We will learn that means we're in the past. It looks like a, you know, eight millimeter movie or something like that. Very cool. And a weird guy who we don't really see shows up at her house. He says, I wore my long legs today. And then you get a weird jump scare as he takes her picture. We don't really know what that is yet, but we'll learn what that is.

This is very much a movie that just dumps a bunch of a weird shit on you and then gradually explains it. She takes the picture of him. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also some of them they don't explain. Well, but she takes a picture of him. Yes, that's true. Yeah, you're right. Good correction. That will be a little piece of evidence they'll use. And this little girl grows up to be Lee Harker, a FBI agent looking for a killer. She gets briefed. They go to a cute

little neighborhood. She has a very cheekboney partner who will die soon. This This guy looks like he has a mouthful of Legos. Geez, the cheekbones. I know. He's jagged. Sharp cheekbones and chin. It is, he's a really striking looking person. I was sad to see his head get blown off.

Yes. So she's a little bit psychic and thinks she knows which house the killer is in. She's right. This guy knocks on the door, gets his head blown immediately off. His, and cheek shrapnel goes everywhere. Jagged chin fragments fly out and kill everyone in the neighborhood. Um, so, uh, so she's a little bit psychic. They, they catch, they catch the guy and, uh, it was a, well, they don't catch the guy.

Here's what's crazy. Yeah. Um, he gives himself over. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he just puts his arms up like, as if this was a plan. Very creepy. Something going on here.

But also, I guess before they went hunting for this guy, her, you know, what are you call them? Supervisors. or whatever, like, this guy will be dangerous and will resist, and then he didn't resist when it was her. So, I don't know. Yeah.

They put her through these, like, psychic tests. They're looking for a killer named Long Legs, who leaves little notes around during all of these, like, serial killer massacres. And the thing is that he doesn't do it. It's usually a murder-suicide type thing. So all of these cases where you get a long-legs note, They're all tied together because it's like a family that kills each other, basically.

It's a dad who, like, kills an entire family and then himself. Is that like Amityville horror? Is that like what that movie is? You know, I've never seen any of those. Well, I think there's one where it's like the father loses his mind and then he kills everyone. Like that's, you know, kind of a theme. Sure, yeah, it's a shining type thing. Yeah, it also happens in real life.

Sure. It's also based on things that happen. Sorry to bring it down after the thong song. but you know but um also save us Cisco save us from these bad lives let me kill my mom baby no but um I wanted to ask you guys when I was watching these FBI psychic tests which do they really have these in the FBI is something really interesting but I was like we all have ADHD what were your tests like yeah you had them yeah they were they were kind of of similar but it was it was an interesting thing in this movie because they didn't make her just psychic they made her half psychic yeah she's and it doesn't really enter into the plot they kind of drop the psychic thing it doesn't really like she finds long legs because she's connected to him because he's like he's part of her family he's her weirdo dad in many ways well you know blah blah blah that'll get revealed but yeah the psychic thing doesn't really enter into it and it's weird to make her

half psychic because that is that's just not psychic like if you if you can guess things 50% of the time i guess you could be a little psychic but it also uh eventually it just is like a probability but also the shittiest psychic because the killer lives in your basement right yeah who's psychic now yeah i guess she's also yeah she's also yeah also dumb we will learn later yes uh long but there is a thing about there is something that only lets her see what it wants her to see that that happens later so it's like half of her memory is there and then the other half is kept quietly

on purpose to be clear it's a surrealist movie so it's not meant to if you find a plot hole it's not a plot hole it's art right and yeah and if there's any anything in this movie doesn't make sense it was because the devil did it that's right yeah the devil if it's something weird it's because the devil was there and you see little shadows of him throughout the whole movie kind of subliminal that shit is such a stretch everybody was like then you see the devil back there I'm like it's a fucking shadow of nothing yeah that's the Arby's hat

ah the devil no I was like I guess the devil's just whatever you want it to be we have the beast they could do that they could do that hell yes um so Um, so she's got a hard ass FBI boss, Blair Underwood, who is fucking great in this. I love, this movie, the casting in this movie is awesome. Every like side character is great. Every like little one scene character is like an awesome weirdo you love. And yeah, he's like, he's so fucking good in this. So yeah, he, he, he's always trying to go here to get her to go get a drink.

She doesn't drink. But he's like sitting like watch me drink and tell me about long legs. and he sits in this cool bar and sits in this, like, giant leather chair and she's, like, talking about all the stuff she's found by looking at the long legs vials. So, we find there's another, this is happening again.

It's a pattern. And so she's, she's like trying to figure out who long legs is. She lives in the world's creepiest cabin. She lives out in the woods in a terrifying house. She's going over the things. There's a knock at her door. We see a bunch of weird shapes.

It's all very like, it's shot in a very cool, intense way. The knocking at the door is so scary in this. Yes. And then as she's kind of like running around the house looking for who is knocking at the door, she gets a little letter on her desk, a birthday card from long legs with a cipher.

So she can like, there's like a long legs code and she's like trying to break the code. Meanwhile, another family died. They have been in the, the house for a long time because they were supposed to go on vacation and so no one checked on them so they're like all decomposed

so they go in we see the kind of gross bodies of the family that died but their cat is okay which I was relieved their cat is fine a month well he ate their faces yeah I know like we have to we have to that's why the cat survives

because he ate a lot of face and he's looking healthy too this cat really looks great that cat is living it up beautiful fur, beautiful sleek fur that I imagine you get from eating the best cat. The shiny man. Shiny cat. Made me like long legs a little bit. I was like, okay, you know, he's making families kill each other, but he's leaving the cats alive.

Did anybody see that Thanksgiving horror movie? I think it's just called Thanksgiving that Eli Roth made a couple of years ago. It's a kind of a whatever movie, but it's fun. It's like a Thanksgiving slasher. And there's, I'm spoiling a moment in this, but he, he kills someone really brutally. And there's a cat in the house. And I was like, oh, no, he's going to kill the cat. And I'm going to hate this movie.

And then he feeds the cat and leaves. Oh, it's so good. I love that. Yeah, me too. We love a cat that survives the movie. Yeah. So in the long legs note, she finds a couple of clues. There are references to a farmhouse.

And the farmhouse had like a famous. murder that happened at it. And there was one survivor. It was a, the little girl was at school. So she didn't get killed when dad went on his dad rampage. So they're going to make two stops. They're going to go out to the farm and then they're going to go visit the little girl who now is grown up and living in an insane asylum.

They go to the farm in the middle of the fucking night. Wait till morning. Worst time. I know we're trying to catch long legs. Go at, go at 9. Yeah. Go at 9 a.m. Especially since you, you,

You know what date he kills people? Yes. You've got time. You've got a night. Sleep on it. Which I'd like to say. So it's usually their ninth birthday. It's a child's ninth birthday.

And it's always on the 14th of the month. And guess whose birthday is on the 14th of a month? Yeah, the main character. It's me. Oh, no. Emily. Oh, you're going to get killed by long legs. No, it's April 14th, yeah.

Wow. But also, I made it past nine, so I think I'm okay. And your dad's a great guy. He would never kill everyone. Your dad would never kill the family. Oh, my God. It would be the clumsiest killing of our family you ever saw. He'd be like, do we have any knives?

Where are they? Your mother knows where they are. My knee hurts right now. Could you just walk into this knife? I'm going to go to bed. Kill yourself on the way out. Guitar's whiskey guns and knives. He writes a hit song.

That is a steel driver's song. Is it? It was a good-ass song. I was like, did you just come up with that? Nope, it's a song. I got to start listening. That's a banger. You should.

So they go in the middle of the night to the world's creepiest farmhouse and they follow a series of clues and find a really creepy doll with human hair buried under some floorboards. That was so fucking scary because I thought it was a corpse. Yes, it looks very corpsy. It looks, it's a real, it's one of the creepiest dolls ever to be featured. in a creepy doll movie. Yeah, even creepier than Megan. Yeah, way creepier. I mean, well, Megan slays, okay.

She ate, okay? She's an icon. Megan is brat. Yeah, Megan is brat. Are people still brat in 2025? The dolphin long legs was not serving, cunt. How people talk about Megan.

You know, whatever. Are we relatable, Genzi? Do you like? God. He's not listening to this. Yeah, I know. That's right. She was serving mother, though.

She was, yes, she was mother. Because she was mother. She was served to a mother and then the mother died. Yes, that's true. It's a very good point. That is true. So they decide to, now that they have this creepy doll, oh, we start to like see some scenes of long legs kind of randomly throughout the movie here. So we kind of see him wandering.

around he's dressed all in white how would how do you describe how he looks if people haven't seen the coolest costume i've ever seen i love it so much it's like white denim but it's filthy but you know it's still white like it's still dirty and then he's got this kind of tan vest underneath the white jackets and everything and then his face is basically queen elizabeth the first white like sure yes yeah and then the hair and none of this is explained none of this gets explained we don't it looks like his hair is like house painted you know what he looks like he looks like uh jack white's father you know what i mean like if jack white had like a crazy a crazy dad you know right like uh my dad's long legs honestly his he is a white stripe yeah yeah a hundred percent so yeah for uh for me i was

uh watching him just with raconteur songs in my well it was also like the face that they came up with for the character long legs is like over plastic surgeryed like the cheeks are huge and the lips are crazy it's basically Kardashian with baby powder on it like yeah pretty much it's like uh you know one of those um you know plastic surgery uh nightmares shows where you see like some really you know messed up plastic surgery nightmares shows where you see like some really you know messed up plastic surgery. surgery. And it's like, the face, the makeup in this is so good. You don't actually know that it's Nicholas Cage until he starts doing Nick Cage. Acting in a way that no one else in the world would act. And so it's, it's pretty impressive to watch. I'd say that when he goes into the hardware store is, oh, great scene. It's, you know it's Nicholas Cage, but again, the like, I don't know, It's like an optical illusion It's just crazy looking

He yeah And so he makes weird cuckoo noises At the teen girl And again this teen girl is so fucking perfectly cash She has two lines and they're awesome And she nails them And she's just like The

She's Oz Perkins Perkins daughter Is she? Oh yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah so when she was Calling out for her dad

Her dad was actually in the room Honestly That is one of the best nepo casting of all time listen you're like i'm a nepo baby i got listen i got to like i got to pay this forward i have to start creating more nepo babies um so uh yeah so she's like dad this gross guy's back again and that's when we see you know we cut the long legs in his car going mommy daddy unmake me very weird uh very very cool makes makes for a great drop um so the FBI folks they go to the insane asylum and so it turns out long legs checked in to the insane asylum he signed her name uh the

fbi agent's name uh harper harper harper harper harper lee harper lee harper lee which oh harper lee he wrote to killing mockingbird that's harker it's got to be harker right yeah no it's lee harker there you go lee harker thank you very much i wouldn't be surprised if there was a purposeful like kind of parallel to that but oh yeah probably um my favorite another amazing side character is the guy who works at the mental institution who kind of wasn't this god fucking rules in in a movie that has nicholas cage this guy almost has the most memorable performance of the movie yes he he's just so blasé about running a mental institution and they so they're like okay so this guy came in this is the serial killer we're looking for he visited the he visited the the girl and she stopped being catatonic

she woke up um who was it he's like he's like he's like he doesn't know and they're like so did the guys at the front do they check IDs and he's like it sounds like a good idea but no that is the hardest i've laughed in a theater in five years yeah it's so yeah there's a lot of really funny weirdo little moments in this movie that is yeah i i looked around a little bit i couldn't find that guy. I'm sure I just didn't look hard enough, but he's a fucking star. He's so good in this. Yeah. Yeah. One scene and he almost like upstages. Right. He's probably Carrie Grant's grandson or something. You know. Well, his talent reel is fucking killer. Yeah. With that one. It's great. I would just put that on repeat and send it to every casting agents.

Remember this from long legs? Oh, yeah. Oh, you're that guy. I love that line. Yeah. So we kind of like start seeing some flashbacks. We see the flashbacks. We see the flash of the what happened at the farm that day we see you know and it goes into that aspect ratio it goes into like eight millimeter aspect ratio and we see the like farm dad kill the local preacher kill the mom and I guess the little girl played by Kiernanen Shipka yeah just because we can't all pronounce this name can we just call her Sally Draper for the rest there you go yeah yes apologies Kiernan Shipka yeah yeah apologies but I will always know you a Sally Draper Don Draper's wonderful daughter.

Iconic, an iconic role. You got kicked out of a sleepover for masturbating. That's right. I can relate. We've all been there. Been the same girl. Girl same. I'm different only because I was listening to Hot Night Joe at the time.

There you go. And you didn't get kicked out. Everyone joined in. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that music just makes you want to flip the bean, doesn't it? Exactly. Yeah, especially the banjo part. Yeah, yeah.

That's my clit. We can do it in time. Yes, what is the banjo, but the clit of the pants. There we go. Yeah. Say stuff. Say you can just say stuff. That's a podcast.

I think that we have a lot of what is a blank. Yeah, I know. I'd go to that well too much. No, but no. I think it's a catchphrase, you know. Honestly, I think it's my favorite form. of joke. It's the, sure.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, then I'm doing it on purpose, not because I'm lazy. No, I do it all the time. And I say it never gets old. I think it's funny and we're going to keep doing it.

Always funny. Because we are good at it. Funny every time. We haven't talked about Lee Harker's weird mom. She gets a lot of phone calls from a weird mom who we haven't met. She goes to her weird mom's house. Mom is a younger woman.

In old age makeup, we will see, you know, mom at various ages later in the movie. We learned that mom doesn't throw anything away. Mom is a weird hoarder, and the mom doesn't throw anything away will come back in many ways. Oh, I have a question about something. I want to hear y'all's opinion. In the horde nest of her mother's room, there is a bottle of tea, and it says 10 years. so it could either be it's been 10 years of hoarding other children's teeth which is some other people have talked about but I think because she hordes most of the stuff that Lee has she likes hoarding like hair that Lee had stuff yeah I think all of Lee harker's teeth fell out like fell out at once when she was 10 oh those are all of her baby teeth okay like so he spared her on her ninth birthday and it's like I think that there's trauma or something to all of it and all of her teeth fell out.

I love that theory. I don't know why I think that, but I'm like, it says 10 years. So I'm like, okay, we've got nine years being very significant. So 10 years feels significant. So I just thought, all your teeth fall out. All of her teeth fell out when she was 10. So mom, they, she, they learn that she kind of has these recovered memories of a weird guy coming to the house. It was long legs.

And yeah, we just talked about it in the kind of, opening you get that jump scare of the picture being taken so she has a little polaroid of long legs uh they they really find him quick after this polaroid is produced they immediately find this weird drifter he's he's waiting for because uh he's very recognized yes he is the weirdest looking guy in history so you know what maybe it's not that far fetch that they find him quick yeah um he's just waiting at the bus stop with two little suitcases where is he going no i would love to see the movie of him just go somewhere on the bus you know what else i like grace land yeah that does look like it but another thing is i think there is something um fourth wall breaking about how long legs

treats the camera in a way like when we first see him and he ducks into frame of the camera it's almost like he's doing this for us like there's something yeah totally we're in the movie almost So when he's got those suitcases, he's just staring down the barrel of the camera. He spends most of this movie staring down. Like, save for the scene in the hardware store, I mean, there's limited screen time for long legs in this. And the scenes that he is in, like a bulk of it takes place in an interrogation room. And he does spend, you know, a good amount of time looking directly into the camera. saying hail Satan at us.

So, yeah. So it's like we are whoever he's talking to. Right. Yeah. We are actually in the interrogation. Like, I don't know. It's pretty amazing. Yeah.

I mean, Nicholas Cage was there for three days. A day and a half of that was getting into the makeup. Like he's not in this movie a ton and you just remember fucking everything. Like it's, yeah, every scene like totally counts and it's super memorable. Yeah. So they, the big swarm of guys comes to. catch long legs as he's waiting for the bus and then uh they all the FBI kind of crowds around to watch this little video of him um and he's you know he's like I need to find Lee I need to find Lee

it's her birthday happy birthday and they so he's just like singing happy birthday and this this FBI agent this like female FBI agent we haven't seen before she pauses it and she goes it goes on like that for a while another fucking huge laugh from a two scene character they're like how long he's like 26 minutes of him just singing happy birthday she gets her head blown off in a little bit but um really she had a great line really nails really nails that one little scene um so they send her in so they send lee in because they're worried that there's going to be another dad massacre so lee is about to interrogate long legs and we're going to talk about it right after this We're back. It's free with ads. We're talking about long legs. So they got long legs. Our main character Lee. She's in the interrogation room with him. He just says a bunch of long legs. He just says a bunch of of crazy shit there's and yeah like Emily actually like you mentioned he is just kind of like there's so many shots of him looking at the camera from her point of view and he's moving around like a snake he's kind of bobbing and weaving there's a lot of like snake imagery there's a lot

of just like cut to a montage of creepy stuff in this movie and like it's a lot of snakes and he's kind of like moving around like a snake and then you know he's asking her so we kind of know he had an accomplice right who's the accomplice that's who they're trying what they're trying to figure out and he says he doesn't tell her but he says hail satan and then bashes his own head against the table until he dies and he has a crazy skeleton face after he bashes his nose in oh god that was so fucked up yeah that was incredible and i i i love the commitment that nick cage had to really bashing his head in like it was it was like he almost asked for extra makeup

so that he could have just the joy and catharsis of breaking out of that mask by bashing it. It's so fun. I guess I haven't looked into how much of that was just practical effects and digital because it was really

wild to look at. But yeah, I bet the choreography was crazy. You know that the legend has it that Detective Lee did not know what Nick Cage looked like until that scene. Like she met him for the first time in that scene. I know.

I've heard that too. Yeah. That would freak me out. Imagine, yeah. Really wild. So we kind of know at this point that mom is involved somehow and we see mom in a flashback with a shotgun. Guess who never throws anything away. We go back to the farm and mom is carrying a shotgun and she blows away that woman who has that awesome one line in the briefing room.

And she has the shotgun when Lee finds her, she's got the shotgun pointed at one of the creepy long legs dolls that is dressed just like her when she was a kid. Mom blows it away. And there's we learned there's a guy who dissect the dolls and they have little metal balls in their head. Anyway, that's where Satan lives, I guess They don't really explain the balls But kind of a black smoke comes out of them That's what controls people It feels like a movie that had a great concept

And bits and pieces And that it was like, well, let's just wrap it up Like But sure The end is It's insane, yes, I know The end is very season six of Riverdale Which is the highest compliment

I can give a piece of art So here's what's happening Let's just explain what the long legs thing is So long legs He's possessed by Satan He's a doll maker He makes these dolls with metal balls in their head He brings them to houses

Where the kid is having a birthday On this cipher date And he recruits Lee's mom To dress up as a nun to get the dolls in the house so they can control the dad to kill the family for Satan.

It's really crazy. There's no way to figure it out by watching the movie. I mean, Taylor's oldest time. Oh, sure. Yes, that old chestnut. This is why we all have, you know, hey, if you see a nun with a doll,

you don't let them in. That's what my parents always told me. They did. Also, so the reason why Lee's mother has been doing it is because, I guess long legs came for her when she was nine and the mom like begged and pleaded for him to spare her and he said you have to be you know a servant of the downstairs man and me and I'll spare you but they made he'd already made a doll of her and so the doll I guess is supposed to have like blind her from certain things so she doesn't remember certain things she doesn't know that he's in the basement of her own house so I just like a The long legs moves in. He's in the basement.

He's been down there making the dolls the whole time. And I just like imagining, so if her doll is keeping her from seeing things, that he's just up there in his, like, droopy, tidy, whiteys, like, making cereal sometimes. Yeah, sure. And that she just doesn't see him. Did I get a package? Amazon says they left it. I have a picture on my phone.

Who drank all the orange juice? Where's my grubhats? I labeled that yogurt. Did they ring the bell? I told them not to. Anyway. I love long legs roommate. Long leg's roommate.

Bring back mad TV. An old blank patch joke. Bring back mad TV so I can pitch blank. Anyway, so the kind of like very, very darkly hilarious thing at the end with the final scene is that Blair Underwood's daughter has a birthday. They've been teasing this very cute little girl, Miss Ruby, having this birthday party for the whole

movie. And Lee gets there and guess what's happening? Her mom in a nun outfit showed up and brings this little doll that looks like the little girl. And there's a crazy standoff. And Blair Underwood and his wife go back in the kitchen and he kills her. and the acting in this scene is so fucking good you can tell just by how weird they're acting that they don't want to be doing this but they have to

it's this thing about them like well we got to go cut the cake from Miss Ruby and you can tell that they're like oh my God I know what I'm about to do it's wild yeah yeah the him Blair Underwood and whoever the actor is who plays his wife are so fucking good in this scene there's also a great moment where you know Lee's mom is there and she's like, you know, mom, no, stop. And her mom goes, don't you call me that?

Don't you dare call me that? As if to say, your mom isn't in here anymore. Yeah. And then so, you know, Blair Underwood kills his wife. Lee kills Blair Underwood and then her mom. And she tries to shoot the doll that is like possessing the little girl, but she's out of bullets. She's out of bullets.

And then she just says, let's go. And we have one more shot of Nicholas Cage saying, hell Satan. And we cut to a very jaunty T-Rex song and the credits, not going up, but going down. Oh, whoa, that's not how credits usually go. Yeah, the music was super cool. The music was super fun. I liked T-Rex. When I worked in a retail store, a men's retail store, you know how, like, they have to pay for a certain catalog of music.

I didn't know that. Yeah, you're not allowed to play your... Spotify playlist. No, you're not allowed to do that. have to like buy a license little thing so i heard the la la la la la la la la like that was just constant oh yeah the passenger yeah it's it's you're bringing me back to the time i went into a pacific sunware and was like what is this magical song and it was just some song by the band genesis and it was like a some phil collins song and i was like well i'm never going to tell anyone

that that's what it was but i really liked it you know also what is on that were songs of all time Wikipedia page Sue Studio. Yeah, I saw that. Sue Cidio's great. People like Su Cudio.

I love Su Cudio. People like that. What are you doing? Making us feel bad? Come on. Anyway, so that's long legs. We're going to say what we thought

about it, but first we got to do the Hunk Watch. It's Hunk Watch. Anybody? Anybody? Got any strong thoughts on the hunks of this movie? I have a very obvious one.

but um i want to see blare underwood player underwood is so good in this he's such a dad he's such a cool dad uh yeah a like hunk he's got a great job guy's been fucking hunkin since the late 80s yeah this guy hunkin for hunkin for almost fucking 40 years yeah and i don't know the character's name i keep forgetting what it is but i just call whenever i see him on screen i call him blair underwood

which is like it's so like funny how much of a white girl name that is. And he's not that at all. And the contrast of that is just makes him badass. It's very cool. And yeah, he's super hot, too. Yeah. I'm going to go with the portrait of Bill Clinton behind Blair Underwood.

We learned that this is set in the 90s because of a portrait of Bill Clinton that is everywhere. It's so heavily, like, featured. and when you go into one of the flashback scenes the family has a big portrait of Nixon so they just use presidential portraits to let you know what year it is. It's so weird as if you need to know what year it is in order to contextualize the film. It's like

one of those movies. Yeah it doesn't make this movie make more sense whatever. This just happens in a weird time warp If it happened during the war on terror, would it not work? Like why does it happen? Yeah. I mean, I I have to go with, and I'm sorry to be basic, but I'm going with long legs. He's the hunk of the movie.

I mean, he is, he doesn't have much screen time and yet, you know, he attracts the eye. You can't stop looking at him. Also, I would love to say I had a man in my life who remembered my birthday. 100%. There you go. He remembers long legs remembers your birthday.

He breaks into your house, gives you a little card. Exactly. Unmake me, daddy. Yes. And make me, buddy. It's so good. Oh, my God. It's just so good.

He's hot. He's hot. He's hot. Long legs. Emily, do you agree? Yes. I agree with both of yours, actually. I think that they're hot in different ways, but equal.

Equal. All right. This is a movie full of unlikely hunks. Okay. We're going to rank this movie when we come back. We're back. We're back. It's free with ads. We are going to rank long legs on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials.

But first, we want to remind you to go to maximum fun.org slash join and hear all of our bonus episodes. We've got a spooky halopine themed bonus episode for you. We reviewed the pilot of the Twilight Zone and we've done a bunch of

other cool free with ads TV. We've done the Frazier pilot. We've done multiple Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes. All kinds of good stuff for you there. You can listen to it. You support the show. Everybody wins. And of course, go to maxfundstore.com to check out our

merch okay emily i'll let you like close it out because i think you're the you're the you're the biggest uh you're the biggest uh you're the biggest stan of this movie let you have the final word uh matt why don't why don't you go first what did you what did you as a man as someone who's played long as someone who has embodied the character uh through a parody form on um a paywalt version of a family show yeah sure um uh i'm gonna give this a solid six i i really like the movie uh in terms of no i mean you know it's i'm not here my my issue with it in general is that it is um it's it's kind of doing too much here's my problem i watch this movie trying to get into character for slong legs i ended up watching the whole thing and enjoying it upon rewatch i did find

myself um fully spent from my previous watch of it like i i didn't gain anything more from it And in general, I don't know I like a I kind of I realized the movie I wanted to see had a lot more long legs and a lot less psychic abilities and so it lost a few points in my mind

so I'm sorry but I'm giving it a six six is not bad though It's not a bad score No I mean it's a failing score in school Like 60% Well depends how we all do If we grade on a curve Okay.

All right, cool. So I am going to give this movie at eight. I really like it. I was wondering, I had maybe a little bit of a different experience than you, Matt, rewatching it. I was worried. I'm like, okay, well, this is, this movie is set up, like, here's a bunch of weird shit. Let's gradually explain it. And I'm like, will that be fun to rewatch if I know what it all is?

And I really had a good time. I got, you know, the atmosphere of the movie got me, the weirdness got me. Um, yeah, I love all those little side characters. And yeah, and I had a really fun time, you know, I'm, uh, I looked at the, you know, the trivia section of IMDB and liked looking at all the Easter eggs. I'm sure there's a million people on YouTube who break this apart in a video that's longer than the actual movie. Uh, so yeah, I like that there's all this little stuff to discover and, you know,

you can kind of like learn about the backstory. I think that the less is more is, is really great with the backstory. Uh, so yeah, I'm going to give it an aid. I like it a lot. And I think, uh, for me, it held up to a, to a repeat. viewing. Emily, what about you? Yeah, I'm going to give it an eight as well. I love the ambition of all of the little elements, and of course, I love the marketing

campaign. I do suggest watching Black Coat's daughter. It's a previous movie of Oz Perkins, and that movie, both of these movies, I think, are about the pointlessness of depending on the devil to help you like be your own devil well yeah in Black Coat's daughter

and if you this is a spoiler so if you don't want to listen it's about a girl who had the power of the devil on her side and then he abandoned her and she spends

the rest of her life trying to find the devil again to be her like companion and and then this movie it's like this guy who is clearly not succeeding in life like serving the devil in a ridiculous way that seems futile it doesn't seem like any

of these things are actually too complicated yeah it doesn't seem like it's giving him what he wants and it's certainly not giving anyone else it's like it's just this futile repetition that is nothingness it's just evil so i think both movies are about how stupid it is to rely on loyalty from the devil. I like it. It's like a complicated faust. Yeah, so I haven't seen his other movies, but I love both of these.

So I'm giving it an eight. Black Coat's daughter for me is like an 8.5, but like it's, I love long legs. I think it's really good. And I like that it's so ridiculous that it's funny in a way, just like all of it, even the scariest moments.

It has a really weirdo, specific sense of humor that really works for me, totally. It would have been a nine, if Nick Cage was in it more or that interrogation scene was three minutes longer, just three minutes more. I read that they

actually did shoot when the lady says he goes on like that for 24 minutes. They actually did shoot 24 minutes of him just add living into it. No way. I'm sure he loved that. Dude, don't you just want that? Don't you want to own that?

There's got to be a way to, yeah, it's got to be Blu-ray for fucking sure. I want to see it. Oh, I would love it so much. Yeah, it was rad. That's our review of long legs. Anybody got anything to plug?

Matt, how about you? You want to start? Nothing. By the time this episode comes out, I will have done three dates in New York that have already passed, and they all... How did they go? Oh, I, Christ.

Whoa, sick, dude. You should have been there, idiots. But yeah, no. So just, I don't know, follow me on Instagram at Matt leave jokes. Follow Matt on Instagram. Emily, you got anything? I'm going to continue telling everyone to please go to mythical society.com and become a second or third degree member and then click on. Emily, have you seen this?

Be sure to do that first so that they know you came there for me. Yeah, that's your show where you watch weird internet videos, right? Yes, and we will be doing a spooky episode for October. Pretty soon. Check in it. So buckle up. Hey, surprise. I got some Southern California-based book events for you to attend.

That's right. On October 24th, Cody Ziegler and I will be signing copies of Predator, Black, White, and Blood, number four from Marvel Comics at Things from Another World, 4 to 6 p.m. This is a fun little wrinkle that we can announce. Cody and I will be doing the signing wearing tank tops. We have both agreed to wear tank tops. So if you want to get a signed Predator comic from both of us and see us in tank tops, come to Things from Another World, 4 to 6 p.m.

Jordan. Yes. Can you tell the people what kind of tank top you're wearing, or does that have to be top secret, and they have to come in order to find out? It's tank top secret. It is tank top secret, but you know what? I think I can reveal. It is a vintage Predator Tank Top featuring the poster from the Arnold movie.

Nice. And with every comic, you get a free ticket to the gun show. Hell yeah. That's a bargain, a bargain at twice the price. And on November 8th, I am going to be at the Burbank Book Festival at the Buena Vista Branch Library. Don't go to the main branch. I'll be at the Buena Vista branch. 10 a.m. to 11 a.m.

I'm going to be signing comics there. And then later on that day, I'm going to be solution across town to run. Revenge of Comics and Pinball for their comic creator parking lot party. Nice. Times to come. So that's November 8th at the Buena Vista Branch Library and Revenge of Comics and Pinball. If you're in Southern California and I don't see you at any of these, what's your fucking deal? Just come see me.

I know. I love it. Just really, I mean, come on. You can find him. You can meet him in person. Meet me. You love to meet me. You love to meet him and you will love it.

Also, I want to just say I got on a, for no real reason, on an alien tip where I just was like, I'm going to watch all of them. Pretty good franchise, huh? Oh, maybe you don't think that. No, I am very much enjoying it. And I just now started watching Alien versus Predator Requiem. Okay. And what, I'm halfway through. What a journey.

and it makes me want to start watching all of the Predator movies and you know if I do so I'm going to also purchase your comic book Oh my God, okay well thank you man

I'm sure you'll find a lot to like I just have to watch eight hours worth of shit No no you cannot go into the comic cold You cannot go into the comic cold And if our listeners don't want to do all of that

they can just listen to our episode of Alien versus Predator Yeah I know I can't believe I'm mad I can't believe you're watching AVP Requiem and not for this podcast. You know we're going to have to do it at some point. It is very strange watching any of these movies, not for a podcast

because I'm just like, if I'm not talking about it, why am I watching it? Why am I watching it? And I remember that that's how humans are. We just enjoy things and let them go, you know? Fuck that. Yeah, that is stupid. Do a podcast. Monetize it. Monetize your movies.

Anyway, um, hey, next week Howlopin continues. when our movie will be The Ring The Ring Maximum Fun A worker-owned network

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