Free With Ads - Ouija

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

They made a whole ass movie out of the IP for the Ouija board and we watched it. It's called Ouija and it's about people playing with a Ouija board. It's a whole movie about Ouija board. Tune in next week when our movie will be... Ouija: Origin Of Evil ----- If you are in Vancouver Canada, come see Matt Lieb do stand up on April 5th at Chill x Studio! Pick up Predator: Bloodshed right now! While you are at your local comic bookstore, tell them you want to buy the comic book Web Of Venom written by Jordan Morris coming out on April 8th. COME GET A SIGNED COPY BY JORDAN MORRIS: April 8th, come to Comic Bug in Manhattan Beach from 3-6pm where Jordan will be signing copies of Web of Venom. April 9th, Jordan will be signing comics at Metro Comics in Santa Barbara from 5-8pm. April 11th, Jordan will be at Now Or Never Comics in San Diego from 12-4pm! Buy some of Emily's beautiful creations at FlemGems

This is free with ads, the podcast that asked the question, why pay Amazon 30 bucks for a Ouija board when you can go online for free and watch a movie about one and not risk summoning the devil into your home? I mean, he's probably not real, but honestly, better safe than sorry. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Ouija. Ouaji.

The 2013 horror movie about a ghost that apparently hates similar-looking brown-haired people. With us, as always, is the super producer, the he freak Matt Leeb, hitting us with those drops every time we look into the medicine cabinet mirror. Would it shock you to hear that I did a full version of that? Like that's the entire length of the Game of Thrones theme song. Honestly, this is like your brain when you're watching this movie. Yeah, as soon as I saw Allison Hightower, I said, oh, I'm doing this. Oh, I didn't recognize anybody from Game of Thrones.

You have to be a House of Dragon, House of the Dragon head in order to. I feel like I'm the only person who watches this fucking show and loves it. I watched the show. I watch the show. I'm just more of a Knights of the Seven Kingdoms kind of go. I like that show as well, but I feel like people talk shit on House of the Dragon, and I'm fully obsessed. I love it. I like it too.

I watch it. I claim to like it. I don't retain any of it. I could not do anything that happens. When it's on, I'm like, hey, a new one. Cool. I'm like, oh, thank God. This blonde one doesn't have an eye.

Finally, I know who and what that person is. Yeah. Same wig on everybody. I'll freely admit that. But for some reason, I'm drawn to it. I think I've rewatched it. It's two seasons so far. I've rewatched them three times.

I should rewatch it. I mean, there's no. doubt that it's like it's not not a stunning stunning show it's just like nobody's funny in it yeah no one's funny no one's funny no one's funny there's no funny guy it's just a bunch of very serious stupid thing we need a tyrian lannister like somebody to kind of lighten the moon what do you need a terrian for you have a bunch of dragons what if one of the dragons was always drunk and saying kind of catty stuff to the other ones that'd be fun huh but he's got a heart of gold he's got a heart of gold Man, all those dragons should have little eye bandanas that are purple and blue and red and orange.

And they should love pizza, dude. Hell yeah, I like that. Teenage, ninja. House of Dragons. House of Dragons. Works for me. Hey, before we talk about this movie, which is as of this recording streaming free with ads, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.

Other free stuff This is a headline I saw on DJMag.com Of course I'm always headed over to DJMag.com Great mag. Great mag, great website for the mag Just, you know, keeping up on the latest DJ news, DJ gear.

Honestly, Jordan, I somehow would not be surprised I wouldn't either and I don't know why. I think it's because you also... You wouldn't be surprised if I was into DJ stuff? I think it's because you also really like Skah. Skah. Right.

I don't know. I see them as being similar. Is that offensive? I guess a DJ can play any kind of music. Well, I don't know. I feel like Skah people probably bang DJ people. Yeah. There's something about that.

Do you guys bang? I think you're wrong. You get to Burning Man, Jordan. You like EDM or whatever. Oh, the part I didn't like about Burning Man was the EDM. Oh, well, there we go. So yeah. So maybe maybe we're wrong.

I've been the once. So yeah. But I do not care for for electronic music typically. Okay. But I do, for the purposes of this bit, love to go to DJMag.com. Hell yeah. Check this out on DJMag.com. The headline reads,

Elijah Wood to DJ at Lord of the Rings themed rave in Denver. Hell, yes. Matt, will you be breaking your sobriety to go to this event? And do Molly with a bunch of other Lord of the Rings. I always figuratively say I'd rather die to stuff, but I think I would literally rather die. And I love Lord of the Rings. But imagining a Lord of the Rings themed rave, hate it. Hate the whole idea.

It's wild that they would have a themed rave, a gathering of a bunch of sweaty people aimed at the world's most introverted fan base. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's like having a PBS orgy. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Does anyone want this? Is there an audience?

The magic school bang bus. I would not want to go to it. I don't appreciate them making it. But I'm sure there is a group of people who those interests align somehow in a weird Venn diagram. Yeah, and, you know, props to Elijah Wood, you know, who remains cool and, you know, chooses interesting products after his super. stardom, you know, cool of him to come and DJ at this thing. It got me thinking, what is the movie we have watched that would make the best themed rave?

I'll go first. It's rockadoodle. Hell, yeah. We can't do hackers. That's too much of a cop-out. Yeah, it's a little too, a little too A to B. You can't do go either. Rockadoodle would be amazing.

Yeah, just a bunch of sexy chickens and pheasants. What was the lady? She was a certain kind of bird. She wasn't a chicken. She was like a love bird or something. Somebody told us. Don't remember what it was. Doesn't matter.

Okay. Doesn't matter. She's got those jugs. Doesn't matter. She didn't have any jugs. She had a huge ass. Oh, right. That's, yes, yes.

That was the... Why am I the one who keeps track of this shit? Who had the jug? Someone did, though, have jokes. That was a fun fact about that movie is that there was a cut of that movie where the lady bird has... giant jugs. Oh, they got rid of the jugs.

They removed them because parents complained, but they left the ass. They left the ass. Well, they put them on top of the ass or something. Yeah. But yeah. Switch them around. I am the titkeeper. I know all the titty lore at Free With Nets.

I am the gate master. I am the titkeeper. I mean, I think, God, let's see, Shark Nato would be pretty sick. A shark NATO rave would rock. Almost goes to that same. Oh, no. Alien versus Predator. Oh, wow. Oh, sure.

100%. Yes, 100%. People showing up in costumes and then you get to see them hook up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think is what everyone wants. Yeah, we get, they fight first and then they, uh. Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, whenever we play this game,

my mind has to go through a roll-decks of movies that we've not just seen, but talked about and always draws a blank. Always. Without, without, like, what movies have we done? Oh, it's good to know which one of us is in it to win. and which one of us. I think that is just like podcasting at a certain point. It all just kind of like it'll all just become brain mush.

Yeah, exactly. And then somebody you'll see you on the street and go like, oh, hey, I listen to your podcast. Hold the mustard. And you're like, I don't know. And I just like, don't know that I've ever said that. And I'm like, I don't know that I've ever said that. Thank you. I'm glad you love hold the mustard.

I'm glad it meant something to you. I don't remember saying it. I'll see comments from episodes. we just released and they'll put in quotes something that apparently one of us said and I'll be like, I'll be real with you. That was never said. I've never heard that before. I've never heard it in my fucking life and I edited this motherfucker.

Are you just confusing us with Dax Shepard again? Yeah, exactly. We're not Joe Rogan. We're not Joe Rogan. Anyway, hold the mustard everybody. Wait. Hold the mustard. Wait, Matt, you didn't answer.

I did. You just said no. No, I think shark natos, I think shark nato is a good answer. It leads to like, you know, you can have like, you know, wind and rain blowing in. It's kind of a wet t-shirt contest kind of thing. And then you start throwing blow up sharks into the crowd. I like that you didn't remember that I did it because that's an extreme example of what I was just talking about. I guess I just said an example.

Something said five seconds ago. You're so right. I think it's just that I didn't like the answer. So I just chose to forget it. That's how I feel is I didn't like the episode that someone commented all. And I just go, sure, we said that. Yeah. Anyway, hold the mustard, everybody.

Jupiter ascending. And yes, the real answer is, of course, Jupiter ascending. And then, yeah, at a certain point in the raid, if they just release bees. Yeah. It's a swarm of bees. Yeah. Oh, long legs. And people try, oh, long legs rave might be fun.

Yeah. Dude, I'd be into that completely. You got to, like, find a bunch of clues to, like, find out where the rave is. You got to. Then I can bring my American girl dolls. She'll have a rave to go to you. Hell yeah. Why the long,

why the long legs rave? Just any rave? Well, no, she, long legs rave. They have the dolls. They put like this weird metal ball in the heads of the doll. You don't remember the movies

we watch either. I'm not the only one here. I will tell you guys real quick. Right. I took Felicity to the American Girl's salon the other day.

Okay. Okay. She looks very great. A little haircut, a little manny petty. Yeah, truly. I tipped the lady who did it. It was great.

That's good. That's good. Use of money. Um, yes. Anyway, anyway, always, always tip your doll barbers. That's, that's what we want to let you know here. Always tip the doll barber. Uh, hey, we're going to talk about Ouija. But before we do, we're going to let you know this movie features suicide. So if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, we're going to play a little music and give you a chance to find another episode. Hey, we're back. It's free with ads. We're going to talk about Ouija. I'm just going to say it Ouija. Is that how it said? I'm going to say it. that way. It's always been Ouija. I don't want to be corrected.

Well, that's the only way I've ever heard it been said, but that spelling is crazy. Wow. I just don't. Yes. You know, that is the spelling that is allowed in Wordle. You guys ever use Ouija for your wordles? Oh, I've never used Ouija for Wordle. You got to use Ouija for Wordle.

It's great. Because there's a lot of vowels in there. You get them all out at once. Sounds like a great wordal strategy. You guys ever play Wordle? Never. It's been a minute since I've played Wordle. I know people love it.

I know it's a good thing. There was a time when I played it every day. Does it stave off dementia? I think I've heard that. Oh, well, I hope so. Anyways, I've forgotten every movie we've ever done. You can remember the movies, Matt. I know.

And my famous catchphrases about mustard. So two questions for everyone. One, had you seen this movie? Two, did you ever play with a Ouija board? Never seen the movie. Definitely played with the Ouija board. Okay. What was your Ouija board experience?

Did anything spooky happen? No. Well, I think it's mostly this kind of game in your head where you try to figure out which friend is pulling it the hardest. It's more of that game. And then you kind of see where they're going. You're like, why the fuck did they pick this? This is weird.

That's what my experience was. But the supernatural thing we did was the light as a feather, stiff as a board. Like you usually do those two things in tandem at a sleepover. and yeah I guess we all were able to get a person up with one finger on each side you know what I mean it was kind of cool yeah yeah that's an integral scene in the craft it is have we not have we done the craft no no I don't think so I think it's kind of wild that we haven't yeah definitely something I think the sickos would like so yeah maybe we'll save it for a special occasion ooh live show oh yeah something like that could be fun um anyway Matt Ouji board seen this movie no no never saw the movie and we did have

a Ouija board growing up and I think we maybe played it twice and it always ended in a fight as most board games do in the leave household but you know between my brother and sister and I like

all of us are trying to get over on each other. It was like a house of sharks and we were all constantly trying to get over on each other. So if I wasn't pushing it, pushing it, they were. And then if no one was pushing it, I was like, well, I got to push it because otherwise it's a boring game. Somebody's got to push it or else we're just sitting here. It really is a boring game with honest people. Have you ever tried it

with honest people? And it does. I've never tried it. I've never used one of these. Yeah, I, I think it probably had something to do with, you know, I, as I've mentioned on this show, yeah, Jesus stuff. My, you know, the kids I would have been doing sleepovers with, were like youth group kids and and very like, you know, very cognizant of things that were kind of like supernatural. I remember like buying a like a horoscope book at a supermarket checkout once and getting yelled at by the other youth group kids. So yeah, I think getting yelled at.

Yeah, getting yelled at. Getting like, getting like publicly, you know, publicly dressed down because I had a little a little horoscope book. It's so weird. I feel like I, I, I, I, missed out in, you know, a culture of believing that witchcraft was real. Like, because I feel like that would have, I don't know, made me a more fascinating person, just having people in my life who were just like, don't do that.

That's devil stuff. Yeah. Just having reasonable humanists surround you at all times. Well, I think, but we, it's not that we believed in devil stuff. We just believed in ghosts and spooky stuff. So for us, it was like, I'm too scared to like bring that into my house because what if ghosts are real. I guess you never connected ghosts with religion in my brain that never went together. I don't know why that is. How was that? It's the same thing. I don't understand that.

People, you know, be like, you know, oh, I don't believe in like, you know, I don't have religion or anything, but I think there's ghosts out there. Spirits, spooky spirits. That is a silly. And, you know, hey, spirituality is a personal thing. Believe which I leave. I just thought God was a guy who I negotiated. with for how many times I was allowed to masturbate every week. Right. That is God. Three is the answer. That is correct.

If I went over three, then I had to give him my bike. Clean graffiti off a fence. No, I said I give him my bike in heaven. Yeah. But I mean, I do agree with you. I was always pretty baffled by that take of the like angry atheist person who also believes in ghosts. Makes no sense.

I'm like, your thing is just a silly. Your thing is just a silly. I've always said from the beginning, like, Like, I hope there's ghosts. If ghosts are real, it would be the greatest news that I had ever gotten because it would mean that there is something else after you die and not just infinite nothingness, which is the biggest, scariest thing there is. It's true. I'd like a little hint. Yeah.

So when people are like, I don't believe in God, but, you know, there's like ghosts and stuff, I'd be like, then, okay, I don't care if you don't believe in God. You believe in ghosts. Sure. Same shit. Yeah. God is king of ghosts. I would at least, yeah, what is God? the ultimate ghost.

He makes ghosts. He makes, yeah. He's the number one king boss of ghosts. He's King Cupa ghosts. Anyway, God is the King Coupa of ghosts. That's good to know. So, hey, what happens in this movie? Well, we see a couple of kids at, yep, you guessed it, a sleepover.

They are playing with the Ouija board. They're getting scared. Looks like a different time period than present day. Yeah, we don't get any, like, time markers on this. But, yeah, it looks like these were. These were the kids who will follow in this movie playing with a, you know, kind of a, you know, just Ouija board you would get at Target or something. Well, those aren't the kids we follow in this movie. That's a, those are characters from another time period that died in that house and then left that in the house.

Oh. They are? Yes, they are because there is in a couple years later after this movie, which by the way is a 5% on Rotten Tomatoes. That seems generous. There was a prequel that came out that got 83% on Rotten Tomatoes. Oh, wow. That's a big impression. The sequel is considered to be a very good horror movie.

Yeah, that's kind of why I know this franchise is that they're like, oh, it's this kind of junkie IP horror movie that they cranked out. And then they did a prequel and the prequel is weirdly great. Yeah. So the two little girls at the beginning, one of them will be like the little girl in the prequel. I'm assuming because she's the crazy thing at the end. One of those. Wait, so you're telling me the two little girls at the beginning aren't just the little girl

version of the brunette? And the blonde. So I think, okay, I think, I don't think we should spend much more time on this. Yeah, you're right. I think it'll be infuriating to the audience. I do, I, that was my takeaway as Matt's is that these are the kids who would grow up into the teens that we follow in the movie. Sure. But also, it's not worth arguing about.

Also, who cares? Also, who the fuck cares? Anyway. So the kids are playing this Ouija game and then we cut to a teen. Was it one of the kids or someone else who knows? She is playing a kind of old. time, you know, more spooky looking wichi board by a fireplace. And she throws it in.

And then her friend comes over and she wants her to go to the basketball game, but she doesn't. She's been acting weird. And so she doesn't go to the basketball game. She just kind of eats alone in her house. Eating alone, I was like, my God woman, turn on a podcast, put on some background TV. Why are you just sitting in your kitchen alone in the silence? It's also a spooky old beautiful house. It is, yeah.

Great, great haunted house in this movie. So, yeah, she's just kind of weirdly eating alone. A bunch of spooky stuff is happening. The stove's turning on. The door's opening. Scary, scary. And then she goes, she goes into her bedroom and finds the Ouija board. And she looks through the thing that points at the letters that I learned is called a planchette.

That's right. Whoa. A plan. Chet. So when you look through the middle, things kind of get all, you know, kind of magnified and spooky. She sees something kind of weird. Her eyes get all white. And then we go to a, that's kind of a locked off shot of their, of their like foyer. And then using the Christmas light she has up in her room. We just see her body drop off the rafters. She's hung herself. It's really shocking. and scary. In this, all say it,

bad, boring movie, there's a couple of things that are really shocking and this is one of them. I mean, this movie like starts really strong. And it just kind of hangs around. It hangs around.

Anyway. I hate to compare this to Cube because this is the only comparison. It's like Cube's best kills were like right at the top. Yeah, sure. Kind of front loaded with good stuff. Yeah, yeah.

This movie front loaded hard because I was like, damn, that was really brutal. Something about this. movie is the injuries that people get is so gutteral and scary. It's the scariest part because it's very realistic. The sound is really good. True. I will say

though, I was watching this with sort of, I don't know, guys, listen, Christmas lights are not made that well. I was thinking Hope Depot. Aren't we all thinking the same thing? Didn't we all watch it go with Christmas lights? Christmas lights. Give me a break. Give me a break.

Come on. They're cheap. But it was like, it should have just been like, do, do, do, do. At the Home Depot, we've got Christmas lights on sale. They'll last forever.

Do you want to die? Get some Christmas lights. Because she's going off to college, they should have been those chili pepper lights. Everybody puts in their doors. Oh, yeah, that's right. Exactly. Those are fun.

Yeah, but I just, there was the first thought I had. It was like, not with Christmas lights. No way. You'd have to layer and layer and layer and layer. It did light it in a cool way. though.

No, it was a cool concept. If you drew it, I'd be like, that looks cool. But as soon as I saw her pulling the lights and then she hangs yourself, I was like, guys, come on. And then kind of later in the movie, kind of one of the tenets of this is they keep her room the same. And the lights are still up in the room. Did you get her? Like, well, we should hang the lights again. Yeah, I was like, whoa, we're not going to waste these perfectly good lights just because she had one bad moment with them.

And they still work. They still work. Great. Again, that's how I knew. I was like, nah, this is a fake movie. Well, one thing about, you'd think that would be inappropriate thing for her family to do, but this movie, the parents do not give a fuck. No.

They don't really enter into it. They don't cry. They basically leave immediately and no one ever thinks to call them ever. They just never, like, when the kids start dying, more kids start dying, I guess I should say. No one thinks let's call the parents who are on various business trips. And smiling and saying, Bubba. I am leaving. Oh,

did you notice that, you know, the dead girl's mom, did you notice that actress? I did not. That is Teen Witch herself. Yeah. Is it?

That's fun casting. That's fun casting. That's fun. Good for her. So, yeah. So the town is, the town is depressed. The town is rocked by this death.

Yeah, we just, you know, one of our bonus episodes, our bonus episode, but I guess I should say this month is Twin Peaks, which also has a town rocked by a teen death scene. So very emotional.

We kind of have her friend who was trying to get her out to the basketball game. This is kind of our main character. She has a friend who works at a diner. Matt, was this Cindy's an Eagle Rock? This is kind of your neighborhood. Did you recognize that diner they went to? I didn't notice whether or not it was, but it might have been Cindy's.

I would think it was. I love that. If you're ever in L.A. and looking for a diner. It's a great. It's a great thing. That sounds fun. Oh, it's still there. You just don't go on weekends.

It's a goddamn zoo. You guys, I have something I need to apologize for. Yes. Oh, please. I was wrong about the opening of Ouija. Thank God. That's okay. You don't need to apologize.

Weiji is nonsense. I guess I just wanted it to make sense so bad. No, I'm glad. I'm glad we have alternate theories to make. make it a, I guess, not even a worse or better movie, a lateral move. How am I supposed to know that this is a different Ouija board? So there was one Ouija board. Now we found an older Ouija board in the ice.

That part of it is, that part of it's, they're playing with one that looks like it's modern. But the one they use in the movie is some sort of like old timey more, you know, kind of like witchy looking one. Anyway. I don't know. Not important. Doesn't make the movie any better or worse. So, you know, okay. I just wrote Cindy's an Eagle Rock in my notes.

I just saw a restaurant I had been to, and that was like my favorite part of the movie. So yeah, so the teens, they're grieving. There's a very random friend that they have who has one characteristic and so that she can't keep a boyfriend, and she'll kind of be along for the movie until she dies, but that's like her one characteristic.

And they all want to like talk to this friend of theirs that dies. So what are they going to do? they're going to use the Ouija board. So the main character like sneaks out of the house and then she's caught by someone I was positive was the friend from the diner. It is not.

As we mentioned in the intro, everyone in this movie looks like everyone else. There's just a bunch of brown-haired people with no characteristics. It looks like the reject casting from Twilight. Like these are the ones who didn't make it. No, they tried out. Yeah.

Yeah. You're a little, you're not mopey enough. We're sorry. You can be in Ouija if you want to. Yeah, everyone is blandly hot. Yeah.

It's just kind of a generic kind of, you know, kind of hotness. Yeah. It's nice brown-haired hotness. Yeah. The brown-haired fans are going to really, like, revolts up.

Do you like Burnett? Yeah. Then you're going to love some of Ouija. This movie has them. So, yeah. So they all go over to, like they have to do it in the house where she died. They, they decides.

They, they do it in the house. And that's when, okay, so the girl, boy, the main character has a boyfriend. Yeah. He's there. And then another guy comes in. And I'm like, this is two guys? Extra guy. This has been two guys the whole time.

They added an extra guy. Who looks exactly like the other guy. Same dude. A little different. If you don't have any characteristics, yeah. Yeah. They're just, everyone is so generic. They don't even say like,

I like a bath. Yeah. It felt like. It felt like. The person who wrote it was just like, look, I don't care how you cast this as long as they're white. Like that's what this movie felt like. He just wrote into the script, you know.

Jaden 17, white. You guys, I have a new fun connection thing. Oh, my God, God. Something to talk about. The guy, the blonder guy from. So there's two guys. There's a darker brunette guy. There's a lighter hit.

He is our dude from the bye-bye man. That's, I knew he looked familiar. I was like, we've seen this guy before. But don't worry about him. He works, man. Good for him. And it looks like kind of more horror sci-fi. Anyway, he was in bye-bye man, and that's why this felt like same vibe.

Those movies have a same vibe. Yeah, there's some by-by-man energy. I like what by-bye man, they really were just like, ah, fuck it. this movie they're desperately trying to make it about Ouija which is yeah they really are unfortunate and that by the end of the movie the excuses they make to go back to the Ouija board because it's the IP the movie is based on it's so wild we're like we got to do the Ouija board again we got to play Candyland one more time we don't do the shoots and ladders game they're going to kill my son the hippos are still hungry

They're still hungry, the hippos. Don't wake daddy. We got to give this guy an operation. Don't touch the sides. Somebody sewed his mouth shut. Oh, God. It was brutal. It was brutal.

Every Ouija scene was. Coming this fall, Michael Bay produces pretty pretty princess. Mall madness. I'm going mad at the mall. You guys, this movie. This movie grossed $103 million on a 5 to $8 million budget. We really are. We're just...

We don't get it. We're in the wrong business. I know, I know. We got to make board game movies. We really do. So anyway, so they start getting messages from the Ouija board, and I laughed at how fast it's jumping around the board. I, again, I've never played with one of these things.

but my impression is that it kind of slowly... Very slow. But it's just rocketing. And I guess they could tell like, oh, fuck, people don't want to sit here while the shit spells those out. We got to cut out the boring part where they do letter by letter. Right. So it's just like cruising across the board, fast and furious style.

Yeah. And, you know, they start to see spooky stuff and they get messages from something and they know it's not their friend Debbie. They're not their friend Debbie. It's someone with the initials. DZ. Debbie is dead. She's the one who hung herself

with the Christmas life. Also, who the fuck is named Debbie? Yeah, also bad name choice. You're correct. But you know what? Credit where credits do. It stuck with me. I knew dead girl's name was Debbie.

Because it stands out. It sounds like the lady at the office who always remembers to get the cake. Right, exactly. I'm going to think a school nurse. Like, I think my school nurse. No, this is your HR lady. Yeah.

Yeah, it's your friend's mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so Debbie, she's dead. And they start to see a bunch of spooky stuff like someone with their mouth sewn shut. That'll come up a couple more times and be important later. So, okay, so her friend, the main friend, the main brunette, she got a box of her stuff. And in that stuff is a USB drive. and Debbie was making

a bunch of videos of herself cleaning the house now I'm like this is a dumb plot thing she was videoing herself cleaning the house and I'm like wait isn't that what TikTok is? Maybe she was just an early TikTok

influencer just filming herself clean in the house making fucking millions of dollars a month back when it was musically yeah before it got turned into TikTok you guys remember when it was musically? I don't uh-uh yeah that's what it was before it was TikTok.

So it's just music? They changed it. It was like so people could like, it was like a Chinese app that you were supposed to like dance to type thing and they changed it to TikTok and people started doing all sorts essentially doing vines on it. You are way more up on stuff than I am. I was like Vine. Vine is the better and first TikTok.

Yeah, but then they ended Vine and then people started going on musically and then they changed it to TikTok. What can I tell you? I know the origin stories. Someone needs to make a different thing. The internet peaked with Vine. We all know that. It's all downhill from Vine.

I watched two Vine compilations last night. Hell yeah. That was the good stuff. That was the good stuff. So anyways, Debbie, we see her cleaning her house, and then she finds the Ouija board, and she played it alone. That's what you're not supposed to do.

You're not supposed to play it alone. So maybe... There's rules to this, which is kind of weird. Yeah, there's Ouija rules. You're not supposed to play it alone. So, yeah, they look up the people who used to live. live in the house. You're not supposed to play it alone as such a funny rule.

Yeah. Because in the movie it's like. And then how they like and then how they show that on screen later is so insane. Yeah. Because they're trying to be like, no, because then you could get possessed by the ghost. The ghost has to play it with you. Yeah. It summons a ghost to play it with you.

The real reason is because you need someone to move it. Yeah. It won't work. It doesn't work if one person isn't lying. and the other. Yeah. You can't play it alone, though, because, like, the Ouija board is a lonely guy. He hasn't, you know, fucked anyone else.

Yes. Yeah. He hasn't been able to fuck anyone else since the Jumanji game left. Yeah, exactly. Since Jumanji left him. Oh, that's a great board game. That's a good board game. A good movie.

Good movie. Yeah, good series of movies. Jumanji, way to go. I wish we were watching Jumachi. Yeah, wasn't they cool if we watched Jubanji? Oh, man. Imagine how entertained we would be. Just watching the movie being entertained.

Let's just talk about Jumanji. Yeah. Wasn't that great? Yeah. Truly a great movie. God damn. Anyway, so they like research what happened in the house and they find, you know, there was a mysterious disappearance and they go to see one of the old residents in a psychiatric hospital.

And she talks about her sister, I guess, who lived in the house. and, you know, she was a medium. She was experimenting with all sorts of which stuff. She called it mediumship at one point. Yeah, mediumship. Is that right? So that's like when you're like dating somebody, but you're not like official.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not fully shipping. It's like it's a medium ship. It's a medium ship. Yeah. We can still date other people, but we text each other every day. It's a medium ship. That's right.

You met my mom, but, you know. Yeah, yeah. But it's a medium ship. They'll call it a relationship. So they learn that And also that someone That a girl's mouth was stitched up That's one of the things that the medium mom did

She stitched up her daughter's mouth And if she can find the daughter And undo the stitches Then that will break the spell So that's their goal They go into They go into like a secret room In the house

To like find the body of the girl They go into the room It's pretty spooky. This is a pretty, like, effective scene of them in the secret room. They have to go through a tunnel thing. That's what's so creepy is. Yeah. Through, like, an air duct tunnel.

No, that that never ends well. But. Yeah. And they keep getting just, like, yanked into the shadows by something. They don't really, maybe they do explain it. Maybe I do know what that was now that I. It's, like, there's the old mom. The mom is kind of grabbing them.

But then the daughter, when you see her, she don't look like a little girl. She looks older than the mom. It's a Riverdale casting up. in here. Are you saying that that one is the oldest teen Hey, there you go. Yes, the oldest teen

is a bug ridden corpse. Still counts. They find, yes, they find the bug ridden corpse of the of the girl with the mouth sewn shut. So she's cutting the

mouth stitches because that's what the lady at the insane asylum said to do. It's so stupid. Stupid. Because at this moment, I don't know if this was true for you guys, but the moment she said, yo, you have to, you know, cut the stitches and, you know, help her. I was just like, okay, you're doing, you're doing the ring. Yeah. You're not supposed to help her. You're just going to do it in the middle of the movie and you're going to act like, oh, that's a big surprise.

That's very stupid. Jumanji was truly great. I know. And the ones with the rock are pretty good, too. Have you seen those? They haven't even seen them. I guarantee you better than this. Just the way Robin Williams was able to take any role in the 90s. But anyways, he was incredible in that.

And just if we could just talk about Jumanji for a while. Okay, we got to finish. Okay. We got to finish talking about this movie. And then we can talk about Jumanji a little bit more at the end. So they cut the, they cut the, the string. that's been sewn the girl's mouth, been sewn the girl's mouth shut.

We see the ghost of the mom start to attack. I think she's the tallest person in the movie. Mom is very tall. Tallest guy. There you go. Tallest guy. So just in the nick of time, they cut the mouth open and the girl does a ghost scream

and it turns the mom into dust. Yay. Movie over? No. So everybody goes back to their normal lives and the ghost it keeps like possessing kids. They get the white eyes and then something bad happens

to them. Those are the ones that are kind of, they're really disturbing, those like deaths. Yeah. And in the one I think maybe you're thinking of the generic brown haired friend that's not the sister is in the bathroom. Again, she's looking at the

bathroom mirror. She gets the white eyes. She hovers slightly and then whatever's levitating her just drops her and she hits her head on the sink. Yes. That was great. And I'm like, I'm scared of that.

I'm scared of that happening to me. Right. And like, IRL, no ghosts involved. Well, because this movie, I kept trying to make predictions as to when the scares were happening or whatever because it felt very predictable. But sometimes the deaths were like, oh, that's new. Yeah, totally. They filled up her bathtub.

It was like overflowing. And I go, oh, she's going to drown her. Like, duh. The thing's going to keep her under the water. Classic. Nope. The water got on the floor. and then she dropped her on a sink.

And I was like, Jesus. Because then the other guy, when he went to the pool and that like the cover, the pool cover, he jumped in and got caught up with it. I knew that was going to happen. Oh, yeah. I called that one. Very scary.

Okay. So the kids are dying. We're about to learn the shocking truth of the Ouija. And we'll learn that when we come back. Hey, we're back. It's free with ads. We're talking about Ouija. So, okay, they thought they killed the ghost.

The girl screamed her mom away and they're like, well, it's done. But it's not. All these kids are dying. And no one's calling their parents. Yeah, still no parents are gone. Yeah. Everyone's just like, I don't know. Don't bother his dad.

He's on a business trip. They'll figure it out. Those kids need to learn how to deal with some adversity. Yeah. I mean, there is, okay, so they have a grandma named Nona, or I guess that's just a thing you would call a grandma, but they call her Nona and this. And she was saying a bunch of don't go near that board type stuff earlier in the movie. So they sit down with Nona.

And she's like, we got to break the connection. We got to break your connection to the board. So they have to destroy the board. That scene is great because Allison Hightower, still don't know the character's name, but she's the lead brunette. Yeah. I think Alicent is just fine. Yeah.

So Alicent is talking. to Nona and says to Nona, we have to burn the board. And Nona says, no, you can't do that. What you have to do is you have to find the little girl and you have to find the body and you have to burn it. And then you burn the board. And I said, okay, you just denied that the burning of the board just straight up up front. You could have just said, yeah, do that but first. Like there was so much extra. Right. Hope us out, Nona. Yeah, like, all right, calm down now. You don't always have to be right. You could just admit that Allison had a good idea. She was pretty, she was halfway there. Yeah. It was just very annoying to me.

Nona's like, uh-uh. Yeah, I know. No, shut up, idiot. Listen to how, you gotta do it exactly like I say. I'm old. I know about Ouija boards. Listen to Nona. Yeah, fuck.

I just was, I didn't like her. And she didn't, no,ena doesn't even fucking help. Yeah, she doesn't help. She's not funny. Yeah. I liked that. I like when you don't put the elderly at fucking risk in a horror movie. That's true.

I want them to live. They always die. That's true. Or they're doing evil. That's true. Yeah, they could be evil. Yeah, like the skeleton key. Another one I remember.

Yeah, that was pretty good comparatively. Was the skeleton key good? I don't know. Comparatively, yes. I have fonder memories. I'll tell you that. I do too. Yeah.

So, anyway, so yes, they go like back to the house. And so, okay, what happened? So it turns out that the girl was the evil one. And that mother, although she's very tall and spooky and grabs you out of the shadows randomly, she was trying to protect the kids. So mother is trying to, like, keep the demon child at bay. And that's why she sewed up her mouth, you know, when she was alive. It's because she has that scream that kills you.

So then who was causing all the problems? do a bunch of other stuff, the ghost powers are so not specific. Who's in the insane asylum then? That's her sister. Okay, it's her sister. I see. Okay. All right.

But then who is doing all of the killing if her mouth has been sewn shut? Like, what is causing? It's a great question. The ghost has a, okay, so the ghost has a scream that can kill you. Yeah. But also can make you kill yourself or have an accident. Right. But it doesn't matter that her mouth is sewn shut.

Sounds like they are hindered by nothing. I don't see why the sown mouth is even a hold up. I mean, you know, there's a couple X-Men that just have a bunch of powers, you know. They can fly and shoot lasers and they have a tail. And it's like, okay, so this is just a ghost. Just a grab bag of mutant powers. Like, yeah, sure, I don't know. Listen, a guy drew something cool.

We're all horny for it. Yeah. Put it in the comic. Yeah. Yeah, it feels like this ghost can just do whatever. But anyway, so they go back to the house and they and so they find the girl who is now kind of like a gollum type creature and she grabs. Pretty creepy. Oh yeah.

And it's okay. So it's the girl and her sister. And I know they're trying to like parallel the sisters in the movie. Yeah, I think this is where I got confused. And also, but these, they have no relationship to each other. They have no dynamic. She's a little mean to her at the beginning when she's trying to sneak out, but that's it. So it's like, yes, the sisters must do it.

I'm like, how do you feel about each other? It's just like, yeah, it's like they're strangers. Yeah. So the sisters go in. So the ghost, in a pretty scary image, has like the hook and it's getting ready to sew the sister's mouth shut. Yeah. And so then the main character, Allison High Tower, is like, I'm going to do it. To save my sister, I'm going to play the game alone.

And again, them having to bring this Ouichy board out constantly, like finding it. Because, yes, Emily, you mentioned this at the break. The game company, like, how takes this? Yeah. Was one of the producers of this. I mean, they made the G.I. Joe movies. They, like, made a bunch of stuff. They had some successes.

Sure. Yeah. And this movie's a success. Yeah. Yeah. We're talking a lot of shit about a movie that probably made them millions, you know? $103 million. Crazy.

Crazy. So, yeah. And that is very apparent every time the kids bring out the Ouija board again. It's like, okay, like they're trying to sell games here. They're trying to sell Ouijis. So they just have to like break this out as a plot point every 15 minutes. So the girl's playing Ouija by herself. And what that does is it summons the ghost because you can't.

play it by yourself, so you need a ghost to help you. Or ghost, yeah, because don't, so don't do that kids at home. Yeah. Make sure you play with somebody else. Otherwise, it'll be bad, but you don't, not for the reason you think. So the ghost comes in and starts playing Ouija board with her, but it's like grabbing her hands and like twisting her wrists and stuff like that. It makes no sense. Isn't, ugh.

It doesn't. I feel I'm going to have a stroke. But isn't the implication. that when you play Ouija board, you're playing with a ghost always? Isn't that always the implication? Right. They're acting like, no, but this time, it's for real.

It's real. It's fake before. Like, it makes no sense. Yeah. Anyway, so, you know, just by sheer force of will and goodness, the girl kind of fights back the ghost, and then we see the spirit of Debbie,

the ghost of Debbie, um, helps them, helps them to move the, what's this thing called the planchette? Planchette. I don't remember that word at all. So it helps her move the planchette.

And then the ghost is defeated and they throw the body in the fire and they throw the Ouija board in the fire. And so, you know, it's mostly over. I kind of appreciated this at the end. They have a scene of her flossing in the mirror, in the bathroom mirror. And we're like, here it comes.

And then it doesn't happen. But you just watch her floss for like a minute. I'm like, that's kind of clever to like. Yeah. Yeah. It would be funny if she spit out blood because that's the only way you knew that flossing worked. Right. Yeah.

That's right. There has to be blood. Yeah. You got to bleed, right? Mm-hmm. That's the healthy thing. And you have to gag when you brush your teeth. Always.

Your tongue isn't clean all the way. Always. No. I gag every time. I do too. I can't get it right. I just don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it without gagging.

I don't want a brush butt down. I don't like it. Just let it be. Let it be. Those germs are supposed to be. there. Yeah, so my mouth shut. I never want to do anything about cleaning my mouth ever again. So she has this uneventful flossing session and then goes back in her room. And what does she find? Say it with me. The planchette. The planchette is sitting there. Still there. And then

she looks through the middle and then we hear a ghost scream and then the credits. Yeah, the truly horrifying thing is the movie ended with the prospect of another Ouija movie. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess there was and it was good. And it was good. So, you know, I talk about a shit. And I think they do kind of have some.

There were plans for a third movie, but I think the time has probably passed. Yeah. I think the second one or the prequel, I guess, is directed by Mike Flanagan, who directs all those. Yeah. I've, I've, I've, I've, he does a bunch of Netflix horror stuff. I've tried them and they don't really do anything for me. but I recognize that they're very well made.

I mean, I loved, I of course loved Haunting of Hill House. That shit's amazing. But this guy, this was directed by someone named White Style. Yeah. What's the name of the director of this? It's like a duo. I think it's a couple. They wrote and directed it.

And then this was his first and last directorial debut. Styles white. Styles white. Styles white, which I mean. That describes the genre that we watch. It describes the person because I'm looking at him right now. He looks like a styles white. You want to talk about like white because the room had a lot of posters in it for our main character.

Sure. And there was like one that just said, Hamlet, like really big. That's really funny. And then there was a whole scene with a giant poster that just said urban art show. Yeah. And I was like, you turn around and then the other poster says, black jazz. Right. Oh, I gotta go to that.

Oh, I love black jazz. Yeah, the only urban thing in this movie is a poster that says urban on it. Yeah. Like the whole movie, all of it looked insane. I did notice, I also noticed a cheaply art directed poster in one of the girls' rooms that just says the guys. Hell yeah. And I'm like, they were like, okay, we need a poster for maybe her favorite band. What a girl's like?

Ah, guys. It was a British flag. So I was like, is that supposed to be Oasis? Like, what the fuck? Band is that? The guys, yeah. There's a movie, there's a, like, Denzel Washington after a serial killer movie

that I got obsessed with because... Man on Fire? No, it's Jared Letto's the serial killer. It's got a very generic title, too. Because there's fallen, but that's not that because that's more like a spooky one. It's one with Dakota Fannie? No.

That's Man on Fire again. Codotta Fannie's involved. But whatever this, generic-ass movie is. He's in a bar and there's just a poster that says rock music festival. There's no date. There's no location. It's just getting you excited at the idea of a rock music festival.

Hell yeah. I got to go. Rock music. Fuck, yeah. That's my favorite type of festival. Oh, cool. I hope I find out when and where it is at some point. So I can attend.

It's on the poster. Anyway. We should do a generic. poster for free with ads, like where it's just podcasts, three people. Speaking podcast. Yes.

Talking in English. That'll be our next merch. I love it. Generic poster. Hey, we're going to say what we thought about the movie, but first, we're going to do the hunk watch. It's hunk watch.

Boy, did anyone have a sexual feeling doing this movie? No. I was waiting for a human feeling through most of it. I guess if I had to, I guess I go with Allison High Tower because I just think that she's great Yeah and while it is

unfortunate that she was sort of I don't know manipulated by her uncle Otto Hightower who was the hand of the king into marriage with Vassaris I do kind of feel like she is a more tragic character

and that she I agree completely yeah I mean she really did think that while he was dying and that she was talking about, that he was talking about Agon. I agree. That was the prince that was promised. What were we talking about? Oh.

I don't know. I think that's the dragon, I guess. I think the stiffest thing in the whole movie is the Ouija board. So I'm going to go with it. The Ouija board is my hunk. Okay. At some point, I don't know that I would call this person a hunk, but I didn't notice them. at some point the main character is watching like a YouTube video about like how the Ouija board works

and it's just this kind of dumpy guy standing in front of like a brick wall and and he's and you know I think it's coded as kind of a conspiracy video and I'm like you know what this guy is well cast he's he's really giving off YouTube conspiracy nut I think now, you know, this movie came out in 2013 or something, so now I think that guy would be in front of a green screen and it'd have a ringlight and stuff. But I'm like, hey, this YouTube conspiracy guy pretty well cast, doing a pretty good job. So I'm going to go ahead and give him a hunk of the film.

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. All right. Well, we are going to rank Ouija when we come back. Hey, it's free with ads. We're going to rank Ouigi on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials. but first we want to let you know if you like supporting this show and all sorts of great podcasts on the Maximum Fun Network, you're going to want to go to Maximumfund.org slash join.

You get to hear our bonus episodes. Yeah, it's just a couple bucks a month. It really helps us out. It keeps the show going. You get a bunch of bonus stuff. And yeah, everybody wins. Our bonus episode this month. I mentioned it is on the pilot of Twin Peaks.

So if you want to hear us talk about the pilot of Twin Peaks, which I think we all loved, loved, loved. Yeah, check it out. maximum fun.org slash join maxfundstore.com if you want some merch and maximum fund.org slash jumbotron if you want to throw us a couple of bucks to share a special message with our audience. Okay.

Let's go around the horn. Let's rank Ouija on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials. Emily, do you want to go first? Before I go into it, I do want to mention something. I'm looking at your notes, Jordan, and there is something I forgot that you mentioned. And there is a weird moment towards the beginning of the film where the words, high friend keep appearing on place for no fucking reason at all. And one of the dudes, random dudes was in a tunnel and a like grocery cart full of trash almost hits him.

And then a piece of chalk rolls towards him. But I thought it was a tampon. It looked like. I thought it was a suppository. That's what I saw you wrote. That doesn't go anywhere, does it? No, you look up and then someone with chalk had already written high friend to him. And you were like, what is this high friend thing?

And then there was one where it looks like someone gets to their desk and it looks like maybe someone carved high friend into it. But it also looked like lines of cocaine. So I wanted to know what Matt's thoughts were on that. Oh, interesting. Oh, I had no thoughts on it. I didn't care. No. while it happened

after it happened put it out of my mind actually started thinking about better movies that high friend thing didn't go anywhere but I too thought it I was like is that a tampon

and it was like how are we supposed to know it was chalk at all but yeah loved it do you have a you have a ranking for the film

oh that's a this is a Zippy Zero my friend Wow zero zero Tippy 10 to Zippy Zero is the lowest the low. I hated every minute of it.

I mean, it was a movie. It was a movie. That's true. It did last about 90 minutes. That's right. Matt, do you have any thoughts? Yeah. I, God, you know, for this movie, it's just, I got a few words for you. Okay? Oh, boy. Here's some words.

Kirsten Dunst. Bonnie Hunt. Jonathan Hyde. Bonnie Hunt. Bebe Newark. Robin Williams. David Allen Greer. Yes.

The cast of the original 1995 Jumanji. Yes. Just stacked from beginning to end with amazing character actors, with amazing lead actors, truly a clinic. The practical effects. I mean,

in this jungle, you will wait until the dice read five or eight. Are you kidding me? That should have stayed with me since I was a child. Yeah. this movie is a zero and it's lucky to get that. I'll be real.

A hundred percent, Matt. Very bad. I'll throw Ouija a couple of bones. I think I'm going to give it a three. Fair enough. Wow. As we mentioned, I think there's a couple good scares and a couple kind of well-done moments. And, you know, there's so much good horror out there.

but I think if you're looking for something to watch with somebody who maybe doesn't like gore but still wants a little bit of a vibe I think you know you could consider this movie again there's so much better horror out there maybe the maybe check out the prequel to this if you like the idea of a I'm gonna I think that we should do it if it comes out we should definitely

I kind of want to give it a chance because I feel like it could redeem Ouija one okay guys it's on there oh no should we look at it let's do it let's do it let's fucking do it what, fuck it. Yes. All officially announce it at the end of the show, but it sounds like we've picked the movie for

next week. Yeah, I'm going to give it a three for a couple of nice moments. Let's talk about plugs. Matt, you got anything? Yes. Once again, if you are going to be in Vancouver, British Columbia, in Canada, on April 5th at 7 p.m., I will be doing a stand-up show with my wife, Francesca Fjantini. We're going to be at Chill X Studio in Vancouver, British Columbia, April 5th.

Get your tickets. The link is in the show notes. All right. Emily, got anything? Flemgems will be coming back shortly towards, like, my birthday. My birthday's April 14th. Also, I can't go to that new metal night anymore because my family's going on a little vacation together. I'm very excited.

I won't say what nights were there and I won't say where it's going to be, but I'm very excited. I'll tell you guys where I went after I go. Okay. Yeah. There you go. It's exciting.

Yeah. I'm going to remind folks to go to their local comic book shop and pick up Predator Bloodshed. Issue 2 should be on stands right now. If for some reason you didn't get issue 1, I mean, what are you doing? But I think you could probably grab it there too. This series is awesome.

It's going to go to some wild places. Please, please check it out. I am very proud of this. thing. And while you're at your local comic book store, tell them you want Web of Venom, the one shot written by me about a super secret Marvel character you would never expect getting the Venom symbiote suit. That comes out on April 8th, and I'm going to be in the Southern California area signing that book. So if you're in Southern California, come check it out at the comic bug on April 8th. That's 3 to 6 p.m. The Manhattan Beach location.

On April 9th, I'm going to be at Metro Comics in Santa Barbara from 5 to 8. I think they're giving it away for free there. So if you want it for free and you're in Santa Barbara, come out to Metro Comics. And on April 11th, I'm going to be at Now We're Never Comics in San Diego, noon to 4 p.m. Okay, tune in next week when I guess our movie will be Ouija, Origin of Evil. Hell yeah. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network.

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