Free With Ads - Penelope, with Mikayla

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

This week we invited Good Mythical Morning's very own Mikayla Barnes to talk about a movie that she has loved since childhood, the young adult fairy tale film Penelope starring Christina Ricci as a lady with a pig face.Watch the newest episode of Good Mythical Weekend in which Mikayla goes on a date live on the show. Free With Ads merch is finally here! Go to the MaxFun store now and buy something for yourself!Also, we are having a contest! If you buy some merch and take a picture of yourself with that merch and send it to [e-mail], we will pick one of you and the winner will get to have any song they want Godzilla-fied. That's right, Matt will make a Godzilla remix of your favorite song.

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Paramount plus eight bucks a month for that one episode of The Twilight Zone where everyone has pig noses when you can go online for free and watch a movie where just one person has a pig nose. I mean, who needs that many pig noses anyways? I'm Jordan Morris. That's so, oh, Jordan, you're so right. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Penelope, the 2000s fairy tale comedy

starring every actor you like except Danny Trejo for some reason. Hey, Danny Trejo, why weren't you in Penelope? With us always is super producer Matt, who stuffs our faces with greasy wet drops. Oh! Thank you. The greatest drop ever.

I still have the sexy lady. Still a moan, huh? I long for the day that that changes. Drop lady, if you're out there, call me! I love how you exhale. I love you, dream woman. She's a DJ. Wow!

She's the DJ. Wow! She's the one spinning and scratching. Does she have a Vegas residency? She better. Oh, I can't wait to see you at Wynn. The Wynn Buffet. Oh. Um, ah, she's great. She gets me Wynn Buffet passes.

Oh, yeah. She's the best. Those things are 86 bucks, bro. Yeah, hell yeah. And, hey, joining us today is a producer and on-screen talent for the hit YouTube show Good Mythical Morning, Michaela Barnes. Hi, Michaela.

Hello, hello, hello, hello. We are gonna talk about Penelope, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads, but before we do that, we're gonna get to know our fabulous guest in a segment we call Talk to Guest. Talk to Guest, Talk to guest, fuck. I do that one live. Try it again, try it again.

I do it all the time, try it again. Okay, that's great. What are you talking about? No, we're gonna do it better. It's flawless. We're gonna do it better. All right, shut up. Mm-hmm.

Talk to guest. That's perfect. You know, that loud, the first one was shit. Now that I hear the good one. Yeah, it's really good. Thank you for doing it, thank you for doing it. I thought it was gonna have like a verse to it and like a chorus and a bridge. No, no, no, no, no. Is this really just talk to guest? No, it's really good. I thought it was gonna have like a verse to it, and like a chorus and a bridge.

No, no, no, no, no. It's really just all two guests. No, it's too much. I'm a minimalist. Right. I like that, I like that. Next time you come on, we will request that. We want a 10 minute Inna Gada DeVita style song.

Taylor's version, Matt Lee's version. Yes. Talk to guest, part of the Matt version. He was fighting with his record label, so he re-recorded all the drops. Yeah, it really was just fighting with you guys, because you were like, shut the hell up, Matt. Yeah.

Who are Matt's drops about? Who did he break up with when he wrote that drop? Ooh. All right, come on, this is talk to guest, not talk about producer. No, you're right. It's not talk about producer. It's talk to guest.

Michaela, you're a- I love this episode already. You're a producer on Good Mythical Morning. It is a YouTube show. Emily, Matt, and I all appear on it with some regularity. Yes. Sketches, games, challenges. The producers and kind of people behind the scenes

of Good Mythical Morning often shoved in front of the camera to do weird stuff. What are some of the weird things you've had to do on camera for the show? I try to not do weird things, but they still are like, we'll do them. And so I don't know if it's like weird because I don't get embarrassed.

Okay. That's true, you don't. Hence saying yes to this show. Yeah, hence I'm here I don't get embarrassed. I don't have. That's true, you don't. Hence saying yes to this show. Yeah, hence I'm here and I've already been yelled at about talk to guests. So that's so, it's interesting. I work really hard on those stings.

I'm gonna be making fun of, it's gonna become a stem for me. I get like little vocal stems, so I'm gonna be thinking about that one a lot. Oh dude, I think that most of our show, it's just the stings are really just stems. Yeah. At this point. It sounds like it.

The show is just ASMR to help people fall asleep. Yeah, and that's great. I love you. I think it's more of a put on pants. Right. It's more of that. Just reminders. Yeah. But I don't know, I think of it as like enjoying things, so like. but on pants. That's more of that. Just reminders.

But I don't know, I think of it as enjoying things. Okay, that's a great perspective. Cookie Monster in particular is the main one that still sticks out to me, because that was just like, I'm dancing with Cookie Monster. Oh yeah, you did an episode, I wasn't there for that day. I remember it being a huge deal

that Cookie Monster came on. So wait wait the actual Cookie Monster. Wow! The Cookie Monster and the voice of Cookie Monster for 20 years. Well no, there is no voice. It's just Cookie Monster Yeah Cookie Monster real Just so you know, everyone who listens to this show still believes in Santa Claus People believe in Cookie Monster. Cookie Monster is real. Cookie Monster is real to me. But you met some of his helpers You gotta fucking people believe in cookie monster cookie monster is real cookie monster is real to me, but it was

his Helper the helpers the first I worked for Disney for a year at Disney World And we would call like the people in the quote-unquote costumes is what is a costume We would call them friends of so like I'm friends with so they would say I'm friends with Mickey Mouse So I'm so we can call them friends with Cookie Monster Yeah, all of my friends wear my skin Inside me and I'm just the skin of the Candy randy and I didn't call for this either. Somebody cracked a window. I'm not at work right now

Alright Michaela time for Will It Lasagna? We've got a handful of Skittles and Pipe Cleaners. Will these lasagna? No! See, it's like ingrained in me. Okay, so yeah, so Cookie Monster, I mean that's like, I mean, an icon, right? I mean, we all grew up on Sesame Street. So when Cookie Monster is like on set, people are freaking out, right? like, I mean, an icon, right? I mean, we all grew up on Sesame Street. So when Cookie Monster is on set,

people are freaking out, right? Yeah, everybody showed up. Everybody showed up that day. The office was packed, and I still have that group picture of everyone, and literally, there's like 50 people standing behind Cookie Monster. I was right next to Cookie Monster, though, because that was in there.

It is such a cool episode, too. It was. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever had to eat anything weird on camera? There's so much weird eating on that show. Have I? I've had to eat like gross peanut butter things, and then-

I mean, what's a gross peanut butter thing? Well, there was like one episode that was like, they had to like make some kind of like sour peanut butter thing. Okay. And it was like, Link, Neil in particular, they had to make some kind of sour peanut butter thing. And it was like, Link, Neil in particular, I have an onscreen beef with him, so I don't really get to relax when I'm on set ever.

And so when he finds out something that could possibly or potentially torment me, he'll call me in and be like, McKenna, come down there, yes. That's my Linkin Park situation. Spot on. Wow, that's amazing! That's my Lincoln, Bryce. I'm sorry, you like it? Spot on! Wow, that's amazing. It's like he's here! Yeah, that's crazy.

Matt and Emily, does anything stick out as the weirdest thing you've had to do on camera? I will go ahead with this. I think I've kinda gotten the lighter end of the spectrum on foods. I have watched people really, I have gagged a little bit on camera. I remember the first time I was ever on camera

for Mythical was a more. And there was this at the time, and I guess this was like 2018, this is ye olde, long time ago. And there was this tradition at the time that your first time on a moor, you would have to eat something gross. And I got there, and they gave me

a tube of preparation H. And I think they thought I would just taste it, but I squeezed like half the bottle in my mouth. Sure. And they were like, no! And then they like handed me a bucket and I'm like, what? I see you guys eat crazy stuff.

Yeah, they used to be crazy. This is nothing to me. I mean, and what is the mouth but the asshole of the face? Exactly. It makes sense that you would thank you. Snaps to that. Yeah, they have me spit it out,

but I honestly think that that was less bad than some of the other stuff I've had to eat. I've had to eat quite a few kind of gross things on the Kitchen Channel and on GMM. Kitchen Channel, I've eaten tongue, I've eaten like tongue within gelatin. Oh my gosh.

Yeah, beef tongue in gelatin. That was in Abraham Lincoln's inaugural feast. That was a thing that it was not bad. Really? I don't know how to say that it wasn't bad. Yeah. But there's other things. He was the president.

But yeah, there's other things. He was a wise man. Yeah, he had presidential beliefs. Maybe bisexual. There's other things. Arguably. Yes. But there's things I've rejected and stuff.

There was like the, we did that episode where it was like pushing the limits of macaroni and cheese. And they had macaroni and cheese with haggis that was inside of a beef bladder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just went, no. I'm out. Like, I can't do it. But you know, I bet I just went, no. Yeah. I'm out.

I can't do it. But I bet it wasn't that bad. I bet it wasn't. I mean, Scotland, they eat it all the time. And I'm Scottish, but fuck you, ancestors. I don't know about you. That's why I love Scotland. Stupid ancestors.

Silly. I will never say silly ancestors. I love my ancestors. Hell yeah, girl. How it's tell the people. I haven't had to eat anything that weird, mostly because I'm allergic to everything and I don't drink. So they're just like, Matt can't do the tasting episode.

And so I'm just like, no, it's fine. You do the ball torture episodes, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mostly it just, you know, will it gape? And they stretch me out. We gotta find out, will it gape? All right, three centimeters. Jordan, you've had some fucked up shit in your mouth though. I know you have.

Yeah, I've had to eat a lot of hot stuff. Oh, and I did a, there was a cooking segment where Josh, the chef, prepared a testicle breakfast burrito. I believe they were bowl testicles. They were boiled and he made it into a breakfast burrito which is my favorite food. But you had to eat them regular first. And I did have to have a bite of a like unprepared,

just boiled, unseasoned testicle. I don't know if seasoning would have made it better. No. Probably not. Doubt it, absolutely seasoning would have made it better. No. Probably not. Doubt it. Absolutely. But yeah, very, very gross. I can still, when I shut my eyes,

I can still taste that ball. Wow. I can still taste that boiled ball. It stays with you forever. It does. It's like a ghost or a lover. Like the perfume of a lover. But you are here to talk about a very cool episode

that you are, let's say, the star of. You're OK with star, right? You're OK with star? Yeah. I'm very humble. Of course. You're not saying star. We are saying star.

We are. We are saying star. I'm being forced to say star. Oh, OK, Matt, don't do me, because you have those weird things, and I'm going to make fun of you for it. The, okay Matt, don't do me because you have those weird things and I'm gonna make fun of you for it. The drops. Okay, be nice to me.

Be nice to the star, Matt. No one's ever bullied Matt. I can do that easy. I love bullying men. Easy. Matt can just be like, oh, you bullied me. Sorry, the mic's broke. True, but I will take somebody else's mic.

I'm bold. Don't try me. So you're going to be the star, Matt. I'm going to be the star. I'm going to be the star. I'm going to be the star. I'm going to be the star. I'm going to be the star.

I'm going to be the star. I'm going to be the star. I'm going to be the star. I'm going to be the star. I'm going to sorry, the mic's broke. True, but I will take somebody else's mic. I'm bold, don't try me. So there's a special Good Mythical Weekend episode. Yes, it's back, baby. It's back. That is out now. Were you like, they did like a blind date off to find you a date. Yeah. Was that nerve wracking?

It was, I mentioned being single in Emily's episode because we did the same interation with Emily a few months before. And since I did that, and then since they announced that I was the one, it was like, have y'all seen the movie Smile? Yeah. I have not seen either.

I've heard those smile movies are kind of good. They're really good. They're really good. They're really good. I kinda want some smile. But it really felt like when I would walk around the office, the smile demons were looking at me and nonstop smiling, and I'm like, please, I'm gonna vomit all over this office if you don't stop looking at me.

It was just, it was- Because they wanted you to do this. Yeah, everybody wanted me to do this. I don't think I can say that I've ever put myself out there like that, too, to do something like this. And then also in my brain I'm like, dang I work so much, might I make work hook me up with somebody?

Because it's like, why not? I'm here all the time. Yeah, maybe if not for work, you could be doing more dating. Yeah, yeah. What did it consist of? Did you like have to ask them personal questions? Did they have to do weird challenges? Did they have to eat bull testicles for some reason?

No. Just before the producer and the writer asked me what my type was, what I was interested in, which I don't really have much of a type. Bullshit, tell them what you said. I said tall. No. Don't make me be the dev, like David Beckham,

to your Victoria Beckham. I wanna know what I said. Be honest. Rat boy. Oh. Rat boy? No, okay, here's what happened with the rat boy. Here's what happened with the rat boy of it all, okay?

He's married, Mikaela. I'm married. I'm a tall rat boy. Listen all, okay? He's married, Makayla. I'm married. I'm a tall rat boy. Listen, I'm gonna boogie somebody into these pants. I'll tell you that. Anyway. So I said, they were like, what's your type? And like the movie of the year for me,

personally, is Challengers. And because of that, they're like, oh, you like rat boys? You said you like rat boys, though. You can take that. When did I say that? Did I say it in an episode? You say it to me personally.

Is there a hard and fast definition of rat boy? There's a, you can all, like. It's pretty much the hottest boys in everything. Who are the archetypal rat boys? Benny Blanco. Barry Kiyogan. Yeah. Adam Driver.

Adam Driver. The dudes from Challengers. Yeah, the dudes from Challengers, both of them. I'd say who's Amy? The mouse from Secret of Names. Amy Poehler's husband from Parks and Rec. Oh, yes. Adam Scott.

Yeah. I think he's the OG rat boy for me. Interesting. Cute little rat boy. And of course, Master Splinter. Master Splinter. The one. He's a rat man.

He's a rat man. He's a rat dad. Yeah. Exactly. No, these are all the hottest dudes, period. They're really hot. Rat boys are not a dig at all. Rats are really industrious and fun.

They are, but what I hate- Loving pets, I'm told. I might say that Matt Lieb might be- Oh, I'm absolutely- Ratish. Like a hot rat boy. I've always been a rat boy. I remember when a rat boy started to become a look.

It was Adam Driver, who was the first- Is he ratish? Oh, for sure. His features are so big. Yeah, he was the first rat boy- Yeah, rats was Adam Driver, who was the first. Is he rat-ish? You've got some, oh for sure. His features are so big. Yeah, he was the first rat boy. Rats can be big, bitch. Of my generation. And yeah, rats can be huge.

R-O-U-S's. Yeah, a good R-O-U-S. Sure, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so. That's Adam Driver. They asked me what my type was, I said both of the guys from Challenger,

so if you're listening, hey. Hey. Oh. If you're listening, help us. So Adam driver they asked me what my type was I said both of the guys from challenges Little buck-tooth friends to come on the show. We have cheese. We have cheese in here. It does. We have cheese in here. A little bit. I wish we had cheese. That'd be great. That would. I got water and a lollipop. Yeah, I love a cheese.

And then that was basically it. They went to casting networks. They asked people that worked at the company. And then during the episode, they set up like actual dating profiles that we like swiped through, read what they put in their descriptions. And then at the end, I chose one, and then we went on a date for the cameras.

Oh, my gosh! And people can watch this right now at the Good Mythical Morning YouTube channel. You sure can. Link in the show notes. Yes. Exciting. Please watch can. Link in the show notes. Yes. Exciting.

Please watch it so I can do more things. Exciting. Yes. Watch it and comment. On the channel. Comment, Micaela's a star. More things. More things.

Yes. Well, I might even like to make a little top three Micaela videos underneath that. Oh, sure. That would be really fun. Yes. Absolutely. My own personal Micaela playlist. Micaela My own personal Michaela playlist. Michaela playlist. Link in the show notes.

Good Mythical Morning. Make sure you're subscribed. And you don't get to tell me which one. Okay I'm scared. You have a top three of me? Are you that obsessed with me? I'm very obsessed with you. I have fallen asleep on your beanbag chair in your apartment.

Yeah you have. What a great bonding moment after I made you cry because I told you how great you are. Oh. You're so great. Shut up. That's like a fun night. And you have a beanbag chair? Cool.

Speaking of rat people, I threw a rat and shit. She did. OK, wait. So outside of her apartment. What's going to happen in this story? I don't even care about the pig movie. We have so many stories. Pigs are over. It's all about rats now.

So, Kayla and I have a lot of stories. But one night there was this rat in the bushes, like outside of the apartment, of her door. And it's just been there. And she's putting in requests for somebody to get rid of it. And it was a big fucker, dude. It was so big. He's dead?

Yeah. He was dead. I walked out of my apartment one day, and I like looked, or I just locked my door, and I looked, and like right there was a dead rat. Yeah. I was like, oh. You were like, oh.

Remy. He was going to be my boyfriend. And yeah, he came with a little bouquet of flowers and died. And then died. No, no. Because that's how lucky I am. We came back from something and I was drunk and I was like, I'm just gonna pick this fucker up.

Yes. And so, what did I get? A trash bag? I got like a plastic bag. I grabbed him with my hands. Her bare hands. No, the bag was over my hand. I mean, but it was still bare.

Okay, whatever. I disagree. You had a bag on your hand. Exactly. It's like how you pick up dog shit. You did the right thing. So I picked it up, put it in there, tied it off, and then she had a dumpster, and I, like, swung it around to throw it in the dumpster,

and I threw it too far, and it shimmied behind the dumpster and the cement. So it's just behind the dumpster and the cement wall. So I did it. Like Jimmy Hoffa style. Yeah. I pretty much did the worst thing you can do. Sure.

You took it out from in front of my apartment and I appreciate that. That's true, but it's just rotting behind a dumpster. Just get a trash bag, find a snake, throw and I appreciate that. That's true, but it's just rotting behind a dumpster. Just get a trash bag, find a snake, throw the snake back there that'll eat the rat. Yeah, yeah. But it was so funny.

Swallow the rat to catch the snake. Because I did it and we were like, wee! It went into the, and then it just shimmy. She threw it so hard. Throw, like you didn't, like I promise you, she was like right in front of the dumpster so she coulda did like a dance a little but she really like David and Goliath like David just like swinging the thing

Like damn you need to do I don't care Okay, oh god Yeah, let Emily know I don't care. It's not in front of my apartment. It's okay. Oh, God. If you need me to pick up rats for you. Yeah, let Emily know if there's any... She is the rat girl of my dreams. Could I be a drop? Sure. She is the rat girl of my dreams.

It's got a lot of words. Too many syllables. It's got to be one, two, three. Rat girl of my dreams. Three syllables. Rat girl three. Rat girl of my dreams. Three syllables. Rat girl dreams. Rat girl dreams. Rat girl dreams.

There you go. Good sting, good sting. Honestly, rat girl dreams will probably be here for Hunk Watch, like, sub-sex. Okay. For sure. Oh yeah. Well hey, speaking of, speaking of movies

that we watched for this podcast, we watched Penelope. Michaela, this was your choice. Tell us your relationship with this movie, why you chose it. I had not seen it. I had never heard of it before this. Really? Yes. So for a long time, my whole life, back story. No, I'm kidding.

Once upon a time, we started just like the movie. It was a little girl in Chicago. No. Who dreamed of producing. Who dreamed of living elsewhere. Anyway, I have always been like a big movie person. I do like movie reviews on my Instagram stories. Follow me on Instagram, at mckayla.rela.

Hell yeah. But Penelope, me and my mom have always watched like really weird movies, like the entirety of my life. Like we never watched anything normal ever. Like I remember there's like a movie with like McCully Cuckin and Elijah Wood and they were kids. The Good Son. The Good Son.

I'm not The Good Son. I'll never forget that movie. Like we used to watch weird stuff like that. You and your mom watch that? Yes. Yes. You and your mom, I'm just saying the two movies you've mentioned, Penelope and this one,

have to do with moms. And both have Catherine O'Hara in them? Yeah. Is Catherine O'Hara in The Good Side? No, I think I just, I just in my- You conflated The Good Side and Home Alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's like moms having to to make some weird judgment. Yeah, like well my mom

Sorry mom if you listen to this, but my mom has a weird relationship with her mom So she tries to like do basically the exact opposite of everything that her mom did And so I think she likes movies with crazy moms because it's just like well at least I'm not doing that because I remember I remember or my mom would always tell me the story of when I was a baby I have a very like specific nose and my Nana who is my grandma my mom's mom she would like pinch my nose as a baby because she was like, her nose is weird. We need to make it not weird.

What? So she would pinch my nose and just hold it as a baby so my nose shape would change. Like, stuff like that. So this is a very personal movie for you then. Yeah, I have a weird nose. No, I don't think I have a weird nose. I did a gorgeous nose.

Yeah, thank you so much. Beautiful nose. I always joke with Emily because she gets so mad. I'm like, one day I'm going to fly to Turkey and I'm going to come back with a brand new nose. I'm like, I can't tell you how angry this makes me. Is that when you get a cheap nose job? Turkey? Oh yeah. Yeah, you got a turkey for a nose and a teeth. Girl, you're in Los Angeles.

Yeah, but it's expensive out here. It's so pricey. But also. Where can I get Big Naturals? Big Naturals. You're in Los Angeles. Yeah, but it's expensive out here. It's so pricey. But also... Where can I get Big Naturals? Big natural noses. Yeah, I need a Big Naturals. I got a Groupon, I'm in Turkey, it's time to get some titties.

But not fake ones. They gotta be natural. What do you think you're talking about? I won't, I will not continue to get upset about this because I have been drunk at a bar with Michaela, guess how beautiful she is. And every time she talks about changing her nose, it makes me so sad. I don't really want to change my nose, I just do it to piss her off when she annoys me.

It makes me so upset. I can't, you're so beautiful. So yeah, me and my mom watch a lot of weird movies, we watched a lot of weird movies the entirety of my life. I also was very like rom-com-iverse growing up. So like it took me literally until like years ago to see like the popular rom-coms. Like I didn't like them.

Cause I'm like, oh, cute white people. What are they gonna do? Fall in love. Cool. Once falling down. How relatable to fall down. There's Matthew McConaughey. Oh God.

Very free. Wonder what he's gonna do. Like, it was so. He likes beer and she likes something else. She's quirky. Cause she wears sweaters. Girl, you wanna talk about some quirky sweaters. Watch all those. Something else. She's quirky, because she wears sweaters. Girl, you wanna talk about some quirky sweaters. I've been watching all this.

This movie. This will be a great sweaters and great scarves. Yeah, the best quirky sweaters I've ever seen in my fucking life. Well yeah, let's talk about it. As we mentioned, it starts once upon a time. It's a fairy tale. And we get the two parents of the protagonist

coming out of a limo, and this is like a positive jump scare. I didn't really know who was in this movie. Everyone is in this movie. Everyone you like. Everyone! And so this limo opens, and Catherine O'Hara and Richard E. Grant come out.

Are there two actors you would prefer to get out of that limo? I don't think so. No. That's like ideal. I'm like, oh my God, here we are. No, question. Richard E. Grant was in Shape of Water. Or no, what am I thinking of? There was something else he-

Saltburn. Yeah, so he's- Saltburn, he was the cunty daddy in Saltburn. There you go. Okay. He's great, I love him in that. He's always playing the cunty daddy somewhere. No, he's not a cunty.

Okay, we'll talk about it later. Okay. You think he's hunky? I think he's hunky as fuck. I love this guy. With Nail and I is a favorite movie of mine. He's in Bram Stoker's Dracula. This guy, yeah.

Every time he pops up in something, I'm like. He's an amazing guy. There's the guy. So yeah, obviously, Catherine O'Hara. Queen. Great in everything. Yeah, even when the thing is not good, she's amazing in it. Catherine O'Hara, one of the best.

So yeah, awesome. And yeah, this movie is full of that. Like awesome people just kind of pop up for these little roles. So fun, so cool. So, they are a rich family. There's a curse on the family. One of their ancestors like slept with the,

you know, the chambermaid. And then the, then a local witch cursed them to have a daughter with a pig nose. And the family doesn't have daughters, doesn't have daughters for generation and generation. But then the first daughter is born, that's Penelope. We see her getting delivered, so she has a pig nose but also ears.

They don't talk about the ears a lot, it's mostly about her nose. They don't, they cover them up. But the baby has these very clear fake ears pasted on it. It's very funny how they just had to glue these weird ears on a baby. Yeah, so that's Penelope. That is our main character.

And so we kind of cut to her and the situation they have her in. So her rich parents have her in this special room and she talks to suitors from behind glass. rich parents have her in this special room and she talks to suitors from behind glass. Literally the love is blind premise. Yes, literally. Penelope predicted love is blind. She did.

Oh my God, you're right. But it happened in an anthropology store. Yeah, so yeah, let's talk about Penelope. Oh yeah, sorry. She was also actually ugly because love is blind people aren't ugly. Yeah, well some of them are ugly on the inside. They're ugly on the inside

and that's why you're not married. Well he's married. Not you! I mean my love is blind. They're not married. Right, right. Yeah, and so she was like, I mean I don't think she was ugly though.

Let's get to it. So yeah. I would love to talk about that. Yeah. Yeah, and so she was like, I mean, I don't think she was ugly though. Let's get to it. So yeah. I would love to talk about that. Yeah, so, okay, and I don't quite know what the movie thinks about this, but like, elephant in the room, pig in the room. Penelope is played by Christina Ricci. The pig nose they put on her is not that weird,

and she is one of the most beautiful people who has lived. And she looks amazing in this movie. And the pig nose, yes. Put more pig stuff on her, give her a curly tail. Make her oink. Can I be honest? She's gorgeous. She's so pretty.

Well, I think that what's weird, the pig ear thing, which we saw when she was a baby, I found that to be because they give an explanation as to why they cannot give her a nose job. Because all of us are going to be going, oh, I ain't going to give you a nose job. Go to Turkey. Everybody knows.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, there's a blood vessel going straight through that pig nose or something. I can't remember what it was. I love the thing. Carotid artery. Carotid artery. Could've killed it.

It was the only thing I actually heard in the movie because I spent the whole time going, wood! Yeah, exactly. But they never said anything about the ears part of it. So it was like, I kind of wanted her to have those cute little ears and stuff. Because with just the nose, it was like, I kind of wanted her to have those cute little ears and stuff. Because with just the nose, it was like, look at this beautiful, cute girl in all twee, anthropology apparel from 2006.

Cute hair, amazing eye makeup. I was like, she's so cute. There was actually a really good line, I think a quarter of the way through the movie where it's our boy, Daddy Grant, the dad character. The mom was like, this guy might go out there and tell people, give a description of her and how she has a pig nose. He goes, well, that could describe anyone

and any woman in Los Angeles, or any woman in London. Yeah, that was really sweet. And I was like, oh, that's funny. But I'm like, he hates women. Yeah. I saw it as a nice thing. I know, I know. What's wrong with my daughter?

Well, he's just like, that could describe any woman in London. And I was like, aw, shit. Here's the thing about this movie. They make these British people do American accents. I have no idea. Richard E. Grant is doing one, he can't do it. James McAvoy, who is Irish, is doing one. He's a little bit better.

I think he sounded awful to me. Why, like, this movie is just in a random fantasy city. It is no place. Yeah, it's not a real place. Why in the world are they making these guys? And Nick Frost, who has one line later, we'll talk about that, is also doing a weird one of these American, I'm just a guy from Brooklyn, sir. And I'm like, why? And then Reese Witherspoon's Southern Ass

is in there for some reason. I know that too. Yeah, exactly. Well, I think she produced it. I think this was one of the first movies she produced that she funded. When I saw her, I'm like, oh, is she going to be like, A-lo, Govna, it's me, the punk rock Vespa girl.

Anyway, we'll talk about the Reese Witherspoon stuff. But anyway, so people are doing weird accents. That's like they don't need to. Why are you doing this? Just let them speak how they speak. Thank you. I know. It literally adds to the fantasy of anything. Agreed. Yeah. Like if you're doing a fairy tale, fairy tales have British people. We all know that.ed, yeah. We would have accepted it. Like if we're doing a fairy tale, fairy tales have British people, we all know that.

Yeah, yeah, correct. Anyway, so what happens in her love is blind thing is that she meets a guy they connect, and then she'll come out, and then she'll reveal the pig nose, and they all inevitably jump out the window. There's this montage of dudes jumping out the window that is so fucking hilarious,

and then they have their butler tackle the guys. It's great. Men are so weak. The like... They would rather jump out a window than commit to a beautiful woman in a pig nose. I'd rather die than see an ugly woman. See ugly. But yeah, the movie has a real cartoony sense of humor.

I really like that. I like the slapstick stuff. It's really great. But also like the reporters are always trying to get photos of Penelope. She's like a local legend. One of those reporters, Peter Dinklage. Again, you're like, hey, someone we love.

He's like a reporter. He's in a little drawer and Catherine Roher hits him with a spoon and I guess it knocks out his eye because he has an eye patch for the rest of the movie. Well, also, don't sneak in a bitch's house and take pictures of her baby. No, I agree. Catherine O'Hara was in the right.

She's very valid in that. She's right to hit him with the spoon. Yeah. Stand your ground laws in London. Yeah. Or wherever they are. Right. They have guns over there,

but they'll whack you with the spoon. When they say open carry, it's someone with a spoon in their back pocket. I do think there's a little bit of a thing to mention where it's like, okay, so Catherine O'Hara and Richard E. Grant, their characters are from, they're a blue blood family. They're from this like, you know, old money lineage.

So in order to break the curse of this pig nose situation, even though it's not really, she looks whatever. She looks great. The pig's amazing. It's that she- Matt, you had something to say about that? She has to be, Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. She has to marry or be accepted by someone from their own kind. Right. So it has to be someone who is also a blue blood or whatever, who accepts her for who they are and like...

Yeah, she has to fall in love with someone from her own kind. There's a very fun resolution to what that actually means at the end. Yeah. They're kind of like looking for someone of like high breeding. They find James McAvoy. Again, we were so rich with McAvoy for a while and then no McAvoy for a long time. Maybe he's on a show on Epix or something,

but I'm like, where's this guy? Oh, he's around. Yeah, he's been around. So he was in that movie Speak No Evil this year, which is maybe not a great movie. He's awesome in it. He's so good. He's so funny.

Fantastic. Oh, Split, yeah. Well, Speak No Evil is a remake of another international, which I've watched that movie, so I've had no reason to watch the remake except for him. He's great. He's the man. I like that movie he's in where the bullets curve.

Oh, yes. Wanted. It's pretty cool. Wanted with Angelina Jolie. Did you ever think about whether bullets could do that? Yeah. It's crazy. He's like, we're going gonna do a hunk watch later

He's the obvious hunk watch. Yeah, of course no-brainer. He's such a smoke show, but also Rat boy or go right but go talk about mr. Thomas We cannot forget about mr. Thomas in the line the witch of the word I never I read those books as a kid, but I never saw the movies. Oh my God. The first two movies are fantastic. They are. James McAvoy was a fuckable tumnus?

Yes. Yes, very. He had no shirt, but a little red scarf. Yeah, and a little fur on his chest. I know what we're watching next week. And then he had them goat legs. Them goat legs. Them goat legs.

Them goat legs, though. Can I do this? Them goat legs. Them goat legs though. Can I do this? Them goat legs. Yo, what them hooves do? Yo, goat boy, I got a can for you to eat. Goats love cans. Whoa, here he comes. He's a can eater.

Holland goats. Holland goats. Holland goats. Holland goats. This is the funniest thing I've ever done. Anyway, there's rat boys, there's goat boys. Goat boys. Okay, so this kind of like starts the little romance between James McAvoy and Christina Ricci.

They're like dating through the wall. She says to him that, I know you play an instrument. This is a little, I don't know how she figures that out. She's like, I know you play an instrument. And he says, I don't know why he doesn't own up to what instrument he can play, but they do this. She was trying to make him interesting, and he was trying to seem like mysterious boy.

You know, like it's weird, weird flirting. And this was very 2006. Like, I feel like the Romcom, like Tweed 2006 era was full of this. Everyone, it was like Amelie did it right. Which I love Amelie so much. Amelie is one of my favorite movies of all time. And then everybody tried to do a lazy version of that

where it's like, everyone's got a little story inside them. Yeah, right. What instrument do they play in their heart? So they do they have a little tin box in their soul? Like full of spindles? I play the creme brulee. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. With my tiny spoon.

What is the creme brulee but an instrument that you eat? Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, Oh, god. Anyway, so there's this thing, there's this kind of like cute gag that happens because of that where like there's a huge jazz band in his little room and he's playing all the instruments badly. Very cute. Like that joke. Okay, so then he sees her and like kind of reacts badly. This part of it I didn't quite understand what was going on. So he, and then they, he runs out and he's been working with Peter Dinklage and one of the

other guys who had some sort of like scandal that he's trying to clear his name. He's trying to like prove that there's actually a pig woman because people think he's crazy. So like McAvoy's in cahoots with these guys. They kind of find out that he's been working with these guys, because he like gambled away all his money. And then she kind of gets insulted by this and runs away. So she covers her face with a little scarf, which is like- Cute scarf.

Cute scarf, she looks great. She has a nice, like a multicolored coat, very Paddington. And I'm like, she spent her whole life in this thing. No one's covering her face so she can go out to the fucking park or something very weird Yeah, well the whole thing feels very like Children's book yeah like logic based on a children's book feels like it's based on a children's doesn't it I don't know if it's based on a specific one, but it has that very fairy tale

Logic, but they've tried to put it into this hipster, semi-realistic life. But, yeah, all of her clothes are amazing. And, I mean, if I was like any girl from the 2000s, Anthropologie was the store. And I have not set foot in there in a decade. And, but it's like, it had all the best features. The little room where she hangs out behind the glass.

So there's all the suitors that hang out in the library on one side of the glass. And then she hangs out in this beautiful terrarium type green room with like little kitschy bullshit under little glass bulbs and she has a swing, a swing in there. It's like my greatest fantasies. I still want that room. I still wanna live in the anthropology store from 2006.

This movie spoke to that part of my soul. It was so hard. As a bedroom stan, is this the greatest bedroom in a movie we've watched? Yes. Oh it is. This is the one. My other one was It Takes Two, the fancy bedroom that

Oh that is a good bedroom. Is a fucking good bed, but this is the better bedroom. Bedroom. My personal favorite is from Princess Diaries Two. Ooh. When she goes into the castle for the first time, and then she walks in that closet, and everything just comes out,

like everything opens, and all the jewelry, and the shoes, and then the big, giant, massive bed. I think we can make that happen for you. I just want to say, I think that is more realistic than having a family in this day and age. Than having a family. Women can have it all. The job, the bedroom, and that's it. That is more realistic than having a family in this day and age. Women can have it all.

The job, the bedroom, and that's it. That is all women can have. That's all we need, truthfully, at this point. Listen, you and I have talked about our struggles with all that, but I think we can make that goddamn bedroom happen. Okay, thank you. I'm gonna make it happen. So Penelope's out, she's like discovering the world,

she like tries a beer at a bar, she like gets a straw and like drinks it through her little scarf. It's one of those things where she's like, give me a beer and the bartender just gives her something. What kind of beer? Everyone in a movie, say, just say stout, say lager, don't just say a beer and then the bartender gives it to you. Just, it's not how it works.

What in the world? The first time I went to a beer. Jordan got so angry. He got so mad. Because that never happens in movies. But it doesn't teach you. Give me a beer. Because the first time I went to a bar, I was like,

alcohol, beer. Give me one alcohol, please. And I had a beer. They gave me whatever. And I was like, this is horrendous. Why does no one talk about how nasty beer is? Yeah, cuz they don't they're just like I'm gonna drink it in said also not high in alcohol content So like how are you getting drunk off of one beer? Well? She's been trapped in a room her whole life

Okay, true, and she was 25 years old And she is like genetically at least part pig so who knows what's going on And I think she just eats candy. So she only eats candy outside. And she is like genetically at least part pig. So who knows what's going on in there. She probably needs to be eaten a lot more than she does. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah.

You never see her eat. You never see her eat. It'd be so funny. Catherine O'Hara goes, darling, here's your trough. Eat the slop, hoss. Eat the slop. Not your trough of eat the slop hoss not the trough not that at the bar she meets

she meets Reese Witherspoon who is this kind of like tough punk rock she rides a Vespa she's like a delivery person or something like that and she says to the she's like talking about how she like doesn't date. I think she's supposed to kind of represent a woman who doesn't need a man. And she also had just gotten hit by a car, which doesn't factor into it.

But she did realize it's a really funny way to enter a bar. Yeah. She came in like, ah, I just got hit. Hey, I almost died. And so she says to the bartender, something along the lines of like, she came in like ah, I just got hit. Give me a bit. Give me a brisket. Hey, I almost died. And so she says to the bartender, something along the lines of like, she's talking about the guy she just broke up with. He's like, oh, he was trying to like make me a white picket fence girl. Do I look like a white picket fence girl?

Yes, you do. You're Reese Witherspoon. You look like a Thai coolin' on a windowsill girl. You look like a chasin' bullfrog. Yes, you're a white picket fence girl. Can I just say something? She had to invent a whole ass movie in order to say that out loud.

Right. Because she and I are both from Nashville. She went to the high school that was Harpeth Hall, that was our rival in sports and stuff. We whooped their fucking ass. Yeah. Boo them. Be like, the way they rock and roll her up,

is she has a leather jacket and one braid. One single braid. We would be like, the way they rock and roll her up, she has a leather jacket and one braid. One single braid. One singular braid and they put eyeliner on it and then smudged it a little bit and was like, hot rock! I know, it is so like, yeah. She's alternative. But really?

I'm sorry, this is a role for Lori Petty. Where was Lori Petty? No shit. Yes, that would have been so cool. Yeah, what the fuck? I'm sorry. This is a little for Lori petty. Where was Lori petty? Would have been so cool So like Reese Witherspoon kind of tools around with her on the Vespa and they like learn about life and honestly it when she came On camera with her. It was kind of a brush like a breast a Brush it was a breath of fresh air. I felt like everything else was just a lot of people kinda pretending to be something else.

And then here's this girl that's just a mess. My favorite part is when Reese Witherspoon is acknowledging Penelope, whose face is totally covered, and Penelope is saying, you're so beautiful, and she goes, are you drunk? She goes, I am drunk. And I was like, cool. I wish people would say that to me

when they gave me a compliment. And I went, are you drunk? Yes. Yes. Blackout. I will not remember this. What's that have to do with anything? Yeah, exactly.

Wood. So they, God, Matt. Something happens in their adventures where Penelope's face gets revealed and everybody sees her, and this starts a movement where everyone loves Penelope's face gets revealed and everybody sees her and this starts a movement where everyone loves Penelope.

She's like this, she's just like this national celebrity, there's all these newspaper headlines. This movie has great newspaper headline gags. Just the most insane newspaper headlines you can see. Yeah, there's like Penelope embraced by city, scarf sales soar. I'd love that that's a newspaper headline. We need it to need a little bit, for sure.

Also. And it's on the front page. Nothing else is happening in this world. No way. Nothing else. It does need to be said how much she would thrive during COVID. Oh, yeah.

Watching that, I was thinking the same thing. I was like, this, you know, it almost feels dated because people are like, why are you wearing that thing around your mouth? And it's just like, no, cause you know, there's a lot of good reasons to do this, guys. Right. Bad nose job.

You know? Yeah, bad nose job. She could have said, I'm sick, you know. Different time. Yeah, easily. Different time, different time. Yeah, I mean, if scarf sales are soaring or he's on the front page of the newspaper,

we're probably living outside of a time in which any real news is happening. It's not like there's a war on terror during Penelope. All the news is scarf. You can see in Dinklage's office, so Dinklage writes for the newspaper, he has a framed headline, the front page headline is,

World's Tallest Building? That's not how newspaper headlines, that's a noun, just one noun. Actually, I was for a minute there, enjoying all of the big pun headlines. And one of them was Penelope squeals no. Yeah, that was great. It's really good.

Are there others or is she the only little piggy in town? It's very cute, I know. They kept flashing news headlines and I was like, y'all, if you got any other headlines, let's fucking go. The writer of this movie, their main credit is like 50 episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond. Interesting.

Yeah. So you know, like the jokes get kind of like yuck yucky, but like it is a professional sitcom writer and you can tell by a lot of these jokes, like they're like good solid sitcom jokes. Totally. And funny enough, I graduated with a degree in journalism and like in order to get that degree,

I would just pitch weird stories like that. My journalism teacher. Like world's tallest building. World's tallest building. World's tallest building. No, literally it would be like, in the cafeteria, this cafeteria is serving pig brains on Wednesday. Can you believe it?

I love it. I love it. I would do stories like that. Fake lies? No, not even real. Were they really doing that? But my teacher would be like, can you just do like a legitimate story at least once?

And I'm like, no. You're like, no, that's real news. I don't wanna do that. So seeing those headlines, I was like, oh, that's fun. You could make it in the newspaper business. I could, I have a whole degree in it. You have a whole last degree. You're living in the wrong reality.

You're supposed to be born in the Penelope you want. I should be in the Penelope you want. I don't know, I think Micha You're living in the wrong reality. You're supposed to be born in the Penelope world. I should be in the Penelope world. I don't know. I think Michaela's living in the right reality. So OK, so everyone loves Penelope. And then the guy, the kind of evil suitor, tries to marry her to repair his image. I don't mean to be the make sense police with this movie. If everyone loves

Penelope and is the movie not over? Like dramatically. Like if it's weird that they're like, okay, now we have to break this curse because the parents are so worried about her being a shame on the family, but she's a celebrity. So I'm kind of like, why are they working so hard to break the curse still? Anyway, more stuff has to happen, I guess. Yeah, character development has to happen. I don't think she was fully developed. She just became a star and was just like, oh, I'm just going to keep wandering around

the city with Reese Witherspoon, with the pig nose. She wasn't really figuring out anything about herself in the meantime. She is still on the lam from her parents at this point. Yes, yes. Which can we talk about how, I did like the idea of, I think as southern women, you and I, the southern mothers, I think, the traditional thing is that the best you can look is gonna give you the the best life the best life Yes, it's in that is just and I think that's all women in general

Yeah, I do feel like when I was watching Katherine O'Hara's character in the beginning. You're like Oh, she's just looking out for her daughter. She wants her to have the best life It seemed like she really loved it. But as time went on you went, oh, she's just looking out for her daughter because she wants her to have the best life. It seemed like she really loved her. But as time went on, you went, oh, no, no, this is about her. This is about her image that has nothing to do with her daughter. And it was slowly, because you don't want

Catherine O'Hara to be a bad mom. You want her to be a stressed mom because she's the best stressed mom. And they have her do things in this movie where they have her like scream at the camera and faint. I'm like, she's just doing the home alone move. And if you get Catherine O'Hara, you have her do the move.

She's the best stressed out mom of all time. But yeah, it was, it made you think, I think in the 2000s too, because it was very looks oriented decade. We'll be honest about that. But so you're like, you had a big old step ahead if you've looked a certain way or whatever. But it was like, I don't know,

that was a positive message to be like, even if your mom feels this way, it doesn't matter. You have to, you know. But you were bummed that Catherine Harrod turned out to be kind of a little bitch. She has some great, and they hold on her at the end of scenes while she's spinning her wheels. I'm sure she's just improvising.

She's had so much funny shit in this. There's something like, she's like, oh, I was just making my daughter feel bad. Isn't that what moms do, make their daughters feel bad? And it's just holding on her. I'm like, they're just letting her go. It's so fucking great. Literally, if they had taken Christina Ricci

with the pig nose to go buy swimsuits with her mom, that would have been very relatable. Right. It's like, no, you don't look like a pig, and it'd be like, ugh. But that's the point, too. She never taught her daughter how to live life. When she escaped, which also, y'all just

left the door open for her. Y'all don't have security. Y'all are rich. Anyway, y'all just left the door open for her. Like, y'all don't have security, y'all are rich. Anyway, but like, they just, like, she went out to the world and her first instinct was to go eat candy. Like, she didn't know how to cook, she didn't know how to clean,

she didn't know what a Vespa was. She didn't know anything. And like, they spent the whole, her whole lifetime obsessing over her face when they didn't teach her a life lesson, how to live her life. There's a very important life lesson in this movie that we'll get to right after this. We're back, it's Free With Ads. We're going to talk about the heartwarming conclusion of Penelope. So they're trying to get her to marry this jerky rich guy.

There's this very labored twist involving McAvoy that he was, he's not actually a blue blood, he's just a normal like bum, that they confused him with Nick Frost, who we see at his poker table a lot. Nick Frost does not talk in this movie until we reveal the twist. There's a lot of like shots of him opening his mouth

and then the camera cutting away. Yeah. I would love to know what was cut out of this movie until we reveal the twist. There's a lot of shots of him opening his mouth and then the camera cutting away. I would love to know what was cut out of this movie. About 45 minutes of the lost content. There's a whole thing we haven't even mentioned about James McAvoy being a jazz pianist. Anyway. Yeah.

And with some pretty terrible fedoras, which I think we can all agree are the worst hat. The worst hats in movie history. The worst hat. Nailed it. Hey, get your own worst hat. The worst hats in movie history. The worst hat. Nailed it. Hey, get your own worst hat. Yeah, yeah. That was fun to store.

But also, before the hat was revealed, that terrible fedora, his emo haircut was like, when that came out, the little peasy, greasy little peaces in his face, I was like, I wrote that in my notes as the worst hat, because sometimes the hair can count. Well, and I was like, that's the worst hat hat and then he put a hat on top of it and I went Oh my god double-decker big bad worse

Male stylistic choice because I think of like High School Musical and Zac Efron's hair was like oh my god You're right. I think they wanted him to give a little Efron You're right. You're like really need a little Efron at that point. Oh, you're right, you're right. We need someone to Efron in this movie. We need the girls to watch the movie. Quick, get a guy who's ten years older and Scottish. Scottish, they do the worst acts whenever I give them... Give us a little Efron.

It looks drunk all the time. Smells bad, probably. Yeah, he probably does. I bet it's a great kind of stink though. Yeah, like a great, like, oh, I can't kind of resist it. I would take a stinky McAvoy over a nice smelling Efron any day. Oh, I can't say the same.

I'm a weak woman. Ooh. Both. Right. Woo. Woo. Right. Right. Wood!

Wood! Wood! Wood! Wood! Wood! Wood! Wood! Wood!

So that's, so she decides not to marry the guy. She like says, she like runs away from the altar and she gets, she gets back into her beautiful anthropology room and she says to her mom. That dress was beautiful too. We don't talk about that. The wedding dress? Holy shit. That wedding dress was gorgeous. We don't talk about that wedding dress. The wedding dress? Holy shit.

That wedding dress was gorgeous. Oh man, I thought that too as well. But I always feel like as a single woman saying I love a wedding dress makes me seem insane. And I am. Well you talk about anthropology all the time. I could wear that in my attic while I wave. While I wait.

Oh yeah. You talk about anthropology all the time and when I go, because I go to Century City Mall weekly, don't come look for me, though. I will not say hi to you. But at the anthropology... No, you and I went to the Grove. We went to the Grove where the anthropology store has a wedding section.

I forgot you and I went there. Yeah, I go to the Century City Mall and I go walk around that section too. And I'm like, when? We had a whole afternoon where we thought about just getting an appointment and trying on wedding dresses at Anthropologie for fuck it. Y'all are learning so much, Michaela and Emily Lore. Like there's so much

Friendship lore. There's a lot of lore. We pick up rats, we try on wedding dresses. In the same day, this is the same day. This is all the same in the same 24 hours. And then I fall asleep on a beanbag chair. We try on wedding dresses. In the same day, this is the same day. This is all the same in the same 24 hours. And then I fall asleep on a beanbag chair. You guys are like if Mrs. Havisham was poor. Great expectations reference.

Literally. So yeah, we're almost at the end of this thing. Penelope says to her mom that she likes herself the way she is and that breaks the curse because someone of her own kind, her, falls in love with her. Fucking beautiful. Way to go, movie. Way to go, movie.

And then it's this huge dramatic thing and it's just a fucking nose. It's like not this huge, it's not like, you know Beauty and the Beast, he gets wrapped up in this curtain of fabric and then his whole body turns into this man. Her nose is just less big. Like, it's like not that it's.

Not much really happens. People. Yeah, the budget of this movie, they did not have anything for CGI because they were busy editing out nine subplots. Well, the only CGI they had was like the fake city in the background. Oh yeah, the family tree,

there's a little CGI family tree too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is pretty funny, because it's like, OK, we're used to Hunchback of Notre Dame, or Beauty and the Beast, where it's a whole man's whole thing that we're like, yikes. But a woman's just her nose is the thing that makes Ben go, ah, I'm jumping through a fucking window. Men are weak. Men are weak. There you go, man, I'm jumping through a fucking window. Men are weak.

Yes, men are weak. There you go, Matt. Let's do it. You can do it, Matt. All right, you got it. Fine. Men are weak. Yes!

Oh, no. That is really funny, though. Men have to be a whole ass beast in order to be considered not fuckable and people will admit they would still fuck the beast. Yes. We all would. Honestly. Would.

So yeah, so that's kind of the end of the movie. Then there's this thing that where she goes back and she gets McAvoy and her mose is normal. There's another flash of like newspaper jokes that like the world is tired of Penelope. And to illustrate that, one of the newspaper headlines says, Gorilla Boy found in laundry. I have not laughed so hard this year as I have at Gorilla Boy found in laundry. So many questions and not a singular answer. I know.

I love those jokes where it's just like, what happened? I want pig lady and gorilla boy to fuck. Make that the sequel. She ditches McAvoy, meets gorilla boy. I'm sorry, the squeak-wool. The squeak-wool. The squeak-wool. Yes.

So you know, she marries McAvoy, The squeak-wool. The squeak-wool. The squeak-wool. The squeak-wool. Yes. Oh, wow. So, you know, she marries McAvoy and he pushes her on a swing, and that's the end of the movie. That's Penelope. Yes. It's a good one. It's a good one. Are we gonna do Hug Watch?

Yeah, so we're gonna try something a little different today, because we know there's nothing podcast listeners like more than slight changes to familiar formats. Certainly no one will freak out. Everyone's gonna be so normal. Everyone's gonna be very normal about us changing something slightly. I won't. I'm mad. The show's gone downhill.

Boomy. Boomy. So what we're gonna do, instead of doing our best lines of the movie, we want to dedicate an entire segment to Hunk Watch. We feel like it's everyone's favorite part of the show. Everyone has opinions. So before we do our review, we wanna dedicate an entire segment to Hunk Watch. We feel like it's everyone's favorite part of the show. Everyone has opinions. So before we do our review, we're gonna do Hunk Watch. It's Hunk Watch.

Yeah! So we're gonna talk about our favorite hunks in the movie. Let's go around the horn. I mean, you know, Christina Ricci, all time hunk. I think we can race her into the rafters at this point. I'll go, you know, I'll go first. I don't know if anybody's gonna say this, but I feel very strongly about this. Dinklage.

No, I agree. Do you? I actually, especially after he gets the eye patch. Oh, he looks amazing with the patch. He looks so good. What's under that patch? Probably another dick. Nothing.

Oh. Nothing, a big hole. Hole, another dick. Nothing. Oh. Nothing, big hole. Hole, another hole. Hole, yeah. But he is so great in everything. He's so funny, he's so cool. And yeah, I love his outfits in this movie,

love The Patch, love the old newspaper reporter stuff. Yes. Any other, let's hear about some other hunks. Anybody have any different opinions? Richard E. Grant. I wanna hear your explanation for this. Okay, I just think he is one of the most effortlessly classy, sexy men.

He seems like the same age as long as I've ever seen him on camera. And I feel like he could take care of me. And I feel like those fingers are long. Yeah, fingers. Yeah, yeah. And I think he's probably the tallest person in this movie. Yes.

Oh! We'll see. Hold on. Oh. Tallest guy. There it is. Yeah, I think you're right about that. And also, you did mention fingers, so I think a fingering story.

Thank you. Sorry, Michaela. Matt do you have any opinions on the hunks of the movie? Yeah I've got a weird hunk. It is a actor by the name of Byrne Gorman. Okay tell us more. Who did he play in the movie? What?

In the movie he played sort of, he had a very small part. You will recognize him, do you guys, oh we all watch Game of Thrones right? Yeah. Remember when they were living outside the wall and all of the Night's Watch guys had a mutiny

and then this one guy with this really British bone structure is getting drunk and he's on a power trip and he eventually gets stabbed in the back of the head and the sword goes through his mouth. I don't think I remember that death but I think I can picture the guy. This feels very specific. You have to look up.

You're going to have to Google. As soon as you see his face, you'll be like, that guy. He's in this movie. He has a very. He has the face of a marionette puppet. Yes, he has a face of a marionette puppet. Oh, this guy. He's also doing a weird American accent in this.

He is another of the many British actors who cannot do an American accent and they got them all together in this movie. I just find something incredibly hot about him. I think you're right, he's very handsome. He's in the Pacific Rim movies. He's in the Pacific Rim movies. I like him in those, he's great in those.

He's not even a bad guy in that, which is weird. Dude, he's in so much shit. He was in the last Beetlejuice, too. He was the priest, and he weird. Dude, he's in so much shit. He was in the last Beetlejuice, too. He was the priest. Draw the Damian. He did a lip sync for your life there at the end. Yeah. He did all that.

He's a classic Jordan Morris, that guy from that thing. Yeah, that guy from that thing. And people should know his name. His name is Burn Gorman. What a name. It's a cool ass name. And he is truly a great actor. He's not great in this, but he's hot everyone He's barely in it. Sure. Yeah

I wonder what his subplot was Yeah, well we're gonna rank Penelope on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials when we come back We're back, it's Free With Ads. We're here with Michaela Barnes. Yay. Howdy. Producer on camera talent for Good Mythical Morning. We're gonna rank Penelope on a scale of one to 10, super loud commercials,

because that's what you gotta pay to watch it. Yeah, I'll go first. It's a six for me. I really had a fun time watching this. It's a little bit of a mess. It's kind of cut up. It doesn't track in some areas, but it is funny throughout.

It has great gags. I laughed a lot watching this. And yeah, some great scenery, fun, and basically every actor you like pops up in some capacity. So yeah, it's a blast. It's a cool cult classic. And thank you, Michaela, for bringing it to our attention.

Thank you, Michaela. I hadn't even heard of this thing. Thank you for watching it. I loved it. Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally. It's a total blast. Emily, what do you think? I'm I loved it. Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally. It's a total blast Emily. What do you think? I'm gonna give it a solid seven. Mm-hmm

I enjoyed myself watching the whole thing. There was a little bit of like forced Like a connection between James and Penelope when he's behind the glass and she's behind the glass And I was they don't have electric chemistry the two of them don't have since she's behind the glass. And I was like. They don't have electric chemistry, the two of them. They don't have chemistry, which it's crazy because they both are able to have chemistry with so many people, but somehow,

I think it's probably because she's shooting all of her scenes separately. And so is he, so it's like they aren't really given the chance. And I think it wasn't really about the chemistry, it was about their own individual journeys, except for James McAvoy's journey was convoluted and didn't exist.

Sure. He just had to find Penelope. He just had to find her. And also jazz? Music. Music. Yeah, I know. I kind of wish that he was just a blue blood kid

that hated how rich he was and was blowing all his money, and that was it. And then she inspired him to be more or something. But instead, jazz. kid that like hated how rich he was and was blowing all his money and that was it. Yeah. And then she inspired him to be more or something. Yeah, sure. But instead, jazz. I don't know. Too many twists. But, yeah, so I wish there was a little bit like more connection between the characters.

I loved it as soon as Reese Witherspoon came in and was besties with her. That was actually where the thing got down running for me. Yeah. But I would watch it again, I had a blast, it felt very whimsical, it felt very 2006, it took me back to going to the sales section at Anthropologie and stealing the candles. Maybe as far as vibes go, this movie's kind of

a proto-Paddington I would say. Oh yeah. I think like, yeah, so if you like that kind of thing, this has that in its days. Matt, why don't you go and then Michaela, you can take it home. Okay. All right, I'm gonna give this a what?

What? I really enjoyed this movie. No, I would give it a nine. It is, I cried twice. Oh my gosh. Matt, what are you talking about? It was, there was some, okay, I get really emotional when I'm tired, also I have a daughter,

and so everything in this movie just kinda like kept going back to this idea of raising a daughter in a society that, you know, kind of like lauds beauty as like the number one thing that matters for a child. And so, so for me, watching a movie about someone who's like, you know, everyone is calling ugly, like hurt, but then also like watching, I know they didn't have chemistry,

but I thought it was cute, the idea of James McAvoy and Christina Ricci together, so I like that. I would have given it a 10, but it didn't end with her getting the pig nose back. I kind of thought that she... Sure, I'm with you. I was the one, it was the one weird thing about this movie. She accepts herself and is finally like,

no, I love myself, I love my pig nose. And then they're like, the curse is lifted, now you're hot. And I was just like, but... She said she liked who she was. Right, she just said, so to me and I was just like but she said she liked who she was right yeah just said so to me I was like the curse wasn't lifted you just got double cursed now you have to live life being like oh I guess I was right I was ugly and also what if you don't like this fucking nose right and also she loses all of her fame What if the new nose is wrong?

So it's definitely like a when Harry met Sally situation where the ending betrays the theme of the movie. Yes. Like, when Harry met Sally, they shouldn't get together at the end because it's about can men and women be friends? So the answer ultimately is no. Right. Because they get together.

So this movie is kind of about, accept yourself for who you are, but I mean, I'll change the nose. I know. Yeah, get the nose, get the surgery. But also like, is it more of a fairy tale if we don't do that, and are they making it just more of kind of a fairy tale story?

Yeah, Michaela said to me, it was like, so you wanted the ending of Shrek, and I was like, yes, I wanted the ending of Shrek. Yeah. Yeah. Which is crazy, because it's like, every movie where it's, you know, the woman, it's like, it's more empowering if the woman stays the non-beautiful form,

but the man never does. Like, yeah. The man never changes on me. And I think this movie could've used some smash mouth. I'm sorry. Yeah. That was what I was confused about too. Literally.

Oinked me. Oinked me. It didn't have like. Some body once porked me. And thened me. Oinked me. It didn't have like. Somebody was porked me. Not porked. I ain't the sharpest pig in the pen. She was looking kinda. Wow.

Micaela, you can take it home. What's the rating? What are your final thoughts? I am going to give it an eight. Just because of the lifelong, it feels like, connection. Because I told everybody how old I was when I came out, or when the movie came out, and everyone was like, what? Don't say that!

So, it's been pretty much lifelong at this point. But I need more weird romance movies. Because again, I don't really love just straightforward, two cute white people who pine each other because she fell on the ground. It's gotta be two white people, but one of them has a pig nose. One of them is a little weird looking

and also has a curse on her. And we just need some type of weird circumstance. We need a weird circumstance. And I need more of that. And I feel like I need more Christina Ricci too. Like I know she's on Yellow Jackets right now, which is like really, really popular. She's great on, do you watch that show?

I've watched like a few episodes of the first season. Yeah, maybe she hasn't gotten in the show yet. She's incredible in the show. I need to keep watching. If you wanna binge that sometime on your beanbag, I'll be there. You'll come over and sit on my beanbag and watch Yellow Jackets.

We can make that happen. Hell yeah. But yeah, no, I loved it. And I love every movie Catherine, I don't think there's been a Catherine O'Hara movie that I've watched that I did not like. She's great in this too. So yeah, so it's a solid A for me.

Good story, super funny, super fun. I love camp, I love weird things. It is camp. It scratches a good itch in my brain. All right. Well, that was Penelope. Michaela Barnes, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. This was fun. Subscribe to Good Mythical Morning

where Michaela is a producer and on-camera talent. Check out the show notes to this episode and watch her dating episode. Anything else you wanna plug? You wanna plug a social media? Yeah, follow me. All social platforms are at Michaela, R-A-E-L-A. Michaela Rayla, that's how you say it, full out.

And yeah, that's pretty much it for now. Good follow, good follow. Also, there will be a little Michaela playlist. Yeah, and check out me. Emily's making me a playlist. My top three Michaela moments. Hey everybody, we mentioned it earlier, but we got merch, we love it.

It's so cool, we think you will love it. To maxfunstore.com or the link in the show notes. We got t-shirts, we got pint glasses, we got stickers, we have hats that say... Oh, god damn it. You gotta always get a hat. The worst hat you have. You happy? You happy with fucking sows? We need our slop and the slop is drops.

Num num num. Eat the slop. We love it. I'm going to roll around and shit. I'm going to roll around and shit I make Eat the slop. We love it. I'm gonna roll around and shit. Oi for your slop. I'm gonna roll around and shit I make from the drops. Shout out to Penelope. Shout out to Penelope. Maxfunstore.com is where you go.

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