Free With Ads - Phantom of the Paradise

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

This week we watched for the very first time the 1974 cult classic Phantom of the Paradise, a Faust meets The Picture of Dorian Gray meets meets cocaine rock opera with original music by the guy who wrote Rainbow Connection.Tune in next week when our movie will be... Repo Man-----Come see Matt do stand up at the Ice House in Pasadena on Weds October 1st!Watch Good Mythical Weekend every Saturday!See Jordan Morris at LA ComicCon Sept 26-28, tabling at JO7!

This is free with ads. podcast that asked the question, why pay an indie movie theater 10 bucks to see a midnight screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show when you can go online for free and watch a similarly toned camp musical, get to bed at a reasonable hour, and not risk getting a thigh rash from discount fishnets. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is The Phantom of the Paradise, the 1974 musical extravaganza directed by Brian De Palma and co-written by a wheelbarrow full of cocaine. With us, as always, is the super producer, the he freak, Matt Lee, hitting us with those decadent drops. Carburetors, man. That's what life is all about. Yep.

Best thing in the movie, easy. Carboretors, man. This movie hates the Beach Boys. I know. Yeah. Shots fire. Shots are fired, for sure. Of course, the guy who directed Scarface hates the Beach Boys. Like, it makes total sense.

He doesn't like fun. He doesn't like beach. He doesn't like car. No, not at all. Well, yeah, we're going to talk about the Phantom of the Paradise, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads. But before that, we're going to dive into our email inbox in the segment we call We Got Mail. You Got Mail.

Woo! Okay, I want to say a couple of things about the email inbox before we get to this wonderful email. Uh-oh. This sounds like a dad who needs to give us. us a talking to it's maybe there's there's going to be some dad in her am i in trouble are we in trouble no one's going to Disneyland this summer you're all going to summer school I'll stop sending you pictures of my penis no no that's not the complaint the penis pictures are fine free with ads at maximum fun.org that's our email address

we love hearing from you a lot of our emails are movie suggestions we are not taking At the moment, we're going to, like, reserve the, like, listener picks for special occasions. That's right. So, you know, just hold on those movie suggestions. We'll let you know when we're taking them. Just to address some of the things people are suggesting over and over again, we will get to repo the genetic opera at some point. Obviously.

We will obviously get to repo the genetic opera, the movie where Giles from Buffy steals people's organs, and it's a musical, and I think Paris Hilton is in it. Yes, Jordan. going to hate this but like after we were done we were going to talk about what to do next and repo man is available and i wanted to do that oh the amelio estavs one or the jew long one oh let's do repo let's do repo man i'm always down to do but is that but is that trolling our no no no i think they want to see we're listening it right now next week repo man because the thing is we love a soundtrack that is something that all of you know about us and the repo man soundtrack is one of the most legendary movie soundtracks of all time so i'm sorry no repo genetic opera but we'll do it we'll do it at some point we know we know you want to hear it we're saving it for a special occasion so yes so we'll do it needs estabas um thank you i want to address we've done tremors thank you for everyone who's suggesting tremors we've done it there is an episode

about it, maybe you missed it, refresh your feed. Don't like my opinions about it. What was your, what was your, we don't, we like tremors, right? Do they not like that you like it? Is it problematic? Oh, no, there was, I remember we've gotten at least one email that said like, I tried to listen to the podcast, but it's clear that you don't understand tremors. And I was like, I thought we, we liked it. Right?

What did we, what did we miss about tremors? We didn't give it its proper due because it's, um, uh, uh, uh, It's someone who, like, really likes tremors. And that's great. I think you're... Was it a graboid who learned to email? I can only imagine. Type in with the little tentacles that come out of the mouth.

Honestly, those tentacles are probably better at typing than I've ever been. So, fair enough. But we love that movie. So we even want to go to, like, Lone Pine and go to the thing. Yeah. I think it just, there are going to be people who discover this podcast and the thing they discover is that in general, we think movies are fine.

We don't think... Yes. We don't think... Those movies are fine. We don't think they're art. Well, I also think it's very important to know that, I mean, the two of you gentlemen may be in a different arena of literacy and writing and whatnot. But, like, I'm...

I thoroughly think that my contribution to this podcast is how fun I think something is. Yeah, sure. I am not. a movie expert. I am not a critical. I'm not a critic. None of us are. And this is about how it's free

and how fun it is when it's free. And so I may not be a brilliant movie critic. Listen, we're just, the podcast exists to set Emily up for stories about public sex. Yes. Does the movie? It's the movie. Who cares? Whatever.

Does the movie make me horny? That is it. That is all of my input. There you go. The movie. that has to at some point lead to this sting. Fingering story. Thank you.

So all the podcast is. So, yeah. Quit looking to me for like, like, what is it, academia? Like, don't be looking at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't be coming to me about fingering shit. But also, Emily, maybe don't read the comment so much.

Maybe say out of the comments. Oh, Jordan. I know. It's all I have. It's all I have. That doesn't seem like it's fun. Anyway. So, yes, we've done tremors.

We're sorry if we didn't like it. Enough. Instead of we just kind of regular liked it. And yes, we did it. And if you, we will try and do one of the tremors sequels soon. So there we go. I feel like I've addressed all the recurring things in the email inbox.

Yes, yes. Let's read this actual email we got free with ads at maximum fun.org. That's the address. This is from Elise. They write, Hi, Emily, Jordan, and Matt. I thought you would appreciate a podcast slash cat related story since y'all love the kitties. I was driving one of my cats

Nira to the vet today to get an ear hematoma drained gross but necessary She usually sings the song of her people Nonstop while going to the vet Which gets old fast I have tried a thousand things To get her to stop singing to me over the years

But nothing has worked until today On the way home Matt did you have a thought on ear hematoma No I have a thought on singing the song Of her people we're talking about a cat I think the meowing I think she was just saying Meow is in a cute

way. Okay, okay, got it, got it. Having to go to a vet. I was very confused, but now I understand we're being whimsical. Fun, fun, fun. Yeah, we're, you know, being kind of cute with the... Memories all alone in the mudline. You have to understand, as soon as I had a child, I looked at my cat and said, oh, that's just a

fucking cat. And so I lost the whimsy that comes with them. I'm very sorry. It's not your little baby. It's not my little baby anymore. You're fuzzy man. Honestly, it's an argument against having children because... It makes you like the cat less.

Yeah, it does. It's so sad. Matt, give me your cat. No, I still love her a little, even though she shits everywhere. Just a little. So yes, the listener, taking the cat to the vet, cat will not stop meowing in the car. Elise goes on to write, on the way home,

I was like, screw it. I want to listen to free with ads. So I started playing the podcast, expecting to have her sing the whole time. I was listening to the Black Christmas episode but Anira got quiet and started listening. Oh, my God. Or cat whispers.

Yeah, sure she would interject at times, probably commenting on the feminist themes, but she was largely quiet. Don't worry, she's also old enough to listen. She's 11, so like 60 in cat years. So thank you for getting my sassy little girl to take a chill pill at a significantly lesser frequency. Rock on from a cat lady librarian, Elise and Nira, the best cat.

I love that. It's a fun, see, it's a fun, feel-good story. I know I complained about everybody who emails us, but sometimes they're nice. I feel bad about everything we said before this. We said nice things mostly, and the things that weren't nice were cut out, so they don't know.

Okay, so to make up for it, we're going to do a shot-for-shot reenactment of Repo, the Genetic Opera. We're going to do it. These are different things. I don't think this writer cares about repo the genital. You're making a lot of promises for us. I'm sorry.

We'll use all of my action figures. It'll be great. It'll be great. You'll love it. So yes, thank you. Yes, we do love your emails, free with ads at maximum fun.org. Hey, this would be fun. If you have a, here's an email I think we'd like to get.

I would love to answer some of your questions at the top of the show. So these could be movie questions. These could be just fun either. ores. These could be would you rather type questions. It doesn't have to be about the movies. So yeah, let us know. Free with ads at maximum fun.org.

And maybe we'll read a question or two on the air. Jordan, yes. If you have pictures of your cat with any free with ads merch, if you want to send it in. Oh sure, that'd be fun. Yes. If you can listen, free with ads, maxfundstore.com.

We got shirts, we got hats, we got pint glasses. if you can, you know, safely and humanely put free with ads and merch on your, let's open it up to all pets. I bet we have some lizard voodos out there. Or next two. Yeah, next two. Yeah, let's do that. And we'll highlight those on our social media. Oh, my God.

So, Maxfundstore.com. A kitty cat with a bucket hat? Are you kidding? That'd be fun. Everyone would like that. Free with cats. Or Jordan, Jordan, a kitty cat drinking water out of the pint glass because you know they only drink out of human cups. That's true. If you're

drinking the water, they want to stick their little head in there. My cat has absolutely stuck her head in my free with ads pint glass. Maxfundstore.com. That's where you go to get your merch, free with ads at maximumfund.org. That's our email address. And yeah, give us a follow on Instagram. Free with ads pod and we'll post

those pet picks if we get them. All right. We're going to talk about the Phantom of the Paradise, which does contain suicide. So if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, We're going to play some music to give you a chance to find another episode. We're back. It's free with ads. We're going to talk about the Phantom of the Paradise.

This is a movie that I had been wanting to watch for a long time, a new popular cult movie. Popular cult musical. These are all things I'm interested in. but I had never seen it before. I of course knew the image of the phantom, right? The guy with the kind of bird-like mask and the weird silver teeth. This was a popular t-shirt for goth girls

who would not talk to me in high school. And yeah, so I had always kind of, I knew the imagery of this movie, but I had never actually seen it. Had y'all seen this before? No. Never seen it, only heard about it from people who also liked Rocky Horror.

Oh, sure, yes. And so it was like... Impossible not to compare these movies. Right. So it was always like recommended to me to watch at some point. And every time I just would kind of go, I'd rather, I'd literally rather do watch anything else. Like I couldn't think of a good reason. I have a sort of, it takes me a while to like watch a musical.

Because I have to be like mentally prepared to enjoy it. And, you know, so when this came free with ads, I was like, let's finally do it. Let's watch it. I'd been seeing it on, like, clips on Instagram and TikTok. Once again, like so many of the things that I suggest end up being from insane clips that I see. I'd never even heard of this. Right.

It's a very clippable movie. I have to say watching it, I was like, yeah, I could see how someone could see a one-minute-long clip of this movie and be like, well, I have to know what is happening here. It is beautifully shot and completely strange. Yeah, it looks cool as hell, but the sounds. Sure, yeah. Well, yeah, let's get into it. We start with a little voiceover, a voiceover by Rod Serling from the Twilight Zone.

What? No, yeah, that was him. I remember being confused because I was like, wait, when did he die? And it turns out he was still. He dialed while recording this voiceover. he recorded it in a kiddie pool full of cocaine and had a heart attack

he died a year later in 1975 oh my gosh whoa then wait oh that was Casey Kasem I was like I know I know I was like wait who was due a top 40 all those years there's

you know both of them had voices though yes they both like great great voices and they look a little similar well Dick Clark definitely looks like Sirling. But Rod Serling is, I mean, he's the goat. This guy, Twilight Zone and he wrote him, you know? Yeah, sure. That's so crazy. Cool voice. And yeah, and this, it seemed like,

okay, so this is going to be kind of Twilight Zone Zee. So yeah, it's the story of Swan, a famous record producer. He has no other name. His past is a mystery. He's a guy who's just constantly winning gold records. And one of the things that the narrator says about him, he brought rock and folk together. So this guy's responsible for Dave Matthews band and John Mayer. Cool. Thanks. This guy's responsible for

Dylan going electric. Yeah. Cool. Everyone's favorite Dylan moment. So yes, he is starting an amazing rock club like no other called the Paradise.

And his main band that he produces, His big hit band is called The Juicy Fruits. We open on them. The worst gum of all time. I kind of like a stick of juicy fruit. It doesn't, you know, different gums for different mouths. The flavor goes away in five chomps.

Like it's, it ain't shit. Some mouths like certain gums. And I think that's, and I think that's beautiful. That is true. We see the juicy fruits playing. They're like a, they're like a, they're a grease. are kind of band. They make the teens from Greece

look like a public enemy. They are very corny. They're wearing kind of like pink bowling shirts and they're doing some kind of like doo-op song. Yeah. While this is happening, yes. The Oneaters.

Oh, yeah. Before they became the Wonders with the W. The O'Neiders would drop kick these guys. Speaking of, had you ever seen the video about how, one of the dudes from ICP tried to drop kick Fred Durst but ended up just

falling and hurting himself Yeah That sounds like the ICP guys Sounds about right Yeah I have not seen that But I totally believe it exists I think the own eaters would do that Yeah

And so you know Maybe worth talking about this up top I don't think the music in this is good The music has the quality You know when we watched All Dogs Go to Heaven? Yes. And we learned that the music in that is so weird because Burt Reynolds just wanted to sing whatever he wanted to. And later someone dropped in music.

I don't know if that was the case with this. It sounds like it. It sounds like people are just singing do-de-do-do-do-do-do-do. And then later, weeks later, someone on speed tried to like do a lead vocal. Yeah. Okay. It's so strange. It's so strange.

a note I've only like I sometimes do like Emily's notes at the end of our doc I only had a couple of things and one of them was favorite lyrics and I only have one and it's dream a bunch of friends yeah he does what dream a bunch of friends like he kept saying it and it was like in the first song and they never sang this song again yeah he was like so angry that they stole his music and I'm like I don't think you should probably bang out another one of those huh Yeah, I think you can do it. Yeah, a little cocaine and one late night, I think you'll be able to get a few more mid songs.

Sure. Yeah, this is like if Amy Schumer took your worst joke. Right, yeah. Who care? It's okay. Yeah, I mean, to bring up that thing you do yet again on this show, maybe even the most oft-mentioned movie on this show, like the amazing thing about that.

And, oh, gosh, the guy who wrote all that music, is the guy from Fountains of Wayne. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the guy from Fountains of Wayne, who passed away not too long ago, wrote all the music for that thing you do, and I've heard it said, I'm repeating someone else's observation,

that he had the insurmountable job of writing a song that felt like it was the biggest song in the world, and you believed it, and he did it. Yeah. And he just wrote a song that you believed was the number one song, whatever the year that takes place. Like it actually became sort of,

of a hit song it was totally yeah it's better than the movie yeah well no there's and there's other good songs that he wrote for that soundtrack that right sure but it was like tom hanks produced it and they had like a contest people could just send in music anybody could have done it and they didn't think they were going to find anything and then that song went in there and did it my family the the carpool on Westwood Avenue where I grew up it was it was the Austin Power soundtrack and that thing you do

non stop non stop Adam Schlesinger the guy's name RIPE legend so you're supposed to like believe in in this movie that these songs are huge hit songs yeah not fucking one of these is memorable

they're all so weird and koki yeah and you know it's like part of the vibe of the movie it's dream like it's strange it's kind of satirey but yeah i i feel like that that that prevented me from enjoying them like the songs in rocky horror are great like they're all so hummable and singable anyway these songs are so strange it's kind of like that's why i can't enjoy a movie about stand-up comedy because there'll always be a scene in which someone is doing stand-up comedy and that's not even close to what it would sound like yes it's like no one's doing a good joke

You need a good joke in there. Or a joke at all. And it's usually because a screenwriter is attempting to write what he thinks stand-up sounds like. And those don't necessarily, you know, they're not necessarily the same thing. Well, do you think that maybe, so I don't know when the musical Phantom of the Opera came out. In 86 or something like that. So that was after this. Yes, but Phantom of the Opera had been around, you know, it's like a book from 1910 or something.

music of Phantom of the Opera. So it felt to me like if he had heard the music for Phantom of the Opera and been like, fuck you, I hate the Beach Boys and I hate the musical Phantom of the Opera. I'm just going to take a diarrhea all over music and musical theater. Right. So the guy who wrote the music for this is Paul Williams, who plays Swan. And he is a famous songwriter. He wrote The Fucking Rainbow Connection.

Like this guy, you know, he's written tons of hit songs. you know but yeah i think he did uh some songs with daff punk later in life too and uh yeah like he's i guess they have said that their helmets are inspired by this movie oh so maybe uh that that makes sense fun little fun little full circle thing but that's pretty cool so yeah this guy knows how to write a song but i don't know none of them in this movie like did anything for me i thought the beach boy parody thing was funny but other than that like anyway yeah well maybe he didn't want to give us his best to the devil in the movie and like he's like well i can't give you the best ones because i sold my soul yeah the problem is is like a lot of the music up top is music that is supposed to be a joke sort of

about the genres that they that at least paul what is it paul wilson what's his name paul williams paul williams it also plays the kind of weird uh little enous and um uh smoking the bandit anyway oh yeah that's right that's right i knew he looked familiar um yeah and So, yeah, but the problem is it's not being, it's very of its time. So it's at a time where people are, like, the Beach Boys is a punchline, you know? People kind of saw them as like this campy band that sold their soul to do surf songs, you know, throughout the Vietnam War, you know. Yeah, what assholes to try to make a smile a little bit. Fuck the Beach Boys.

Yeah, I know. And it's like, it's like that, you know, that piss take. It's just like, well, well, are any of these songs good? Like, I don't know. Maybe the Beach Boys are corny, but like. Right, but do a good song in comparison or else this sucks. Well, it's also not a series of noises that from a split screen at moments where it was like, what the fuck. Yeah, the moment they're doing the Beach Boys parody, it is a split screen of what's going on backstage.

So you're hearing the backstage conversation and this Beach Boys parody. and which you know cool filmmaking idea I guess but it it made me feel insane yeah me too yeah well I don't know about you guys when I listen like when I listen when I watch the movies that we do for this podcast I don't usually just sit in one place and watch it I'm usually like you know I'm kind of folding my laundry and doing which I think that's good for watching movies at home a free movie with ads you should be able to live your life and watch the movie at the same time. This movie will not allow you to do that.

No, it just will not. You will have to, you'll be frozen in like, in a herky jerky twitch in, like, in order to get through it. So going on after the juicy fruits is Winslow Leach. He is a dude playing a piano. He makes Billy Joel look like a member of Guar. He is, I think, supposed to be kind of an Elton John,

kind of an artiste. He writes these songs that, you know, like that thing you do, you're supposed to believe these are going to be these giant hit songs, and they're just these kind of weird, free association, hookless, chorusless, noodlings. Have a bunch of friends.

Yeah, in the world of the movie, I guess these are supposed to be hit songs. He gets approached by Swan's Goon to sell the songs. He says he won't do it if they're given to the juicy fruits. He'll let the juicy fruits open for him, I guess,

but you won't sell the songs to them. The goon says, okay, well, we'll make an album with you and we'll give you a record contract and he takes all the sheet music. And I guess the guy, like, buys this. A month goes by, he doesn't hear anything. He, like, sneaks into, like, the record company office death records. Death records.

Yeah. Cool as fuck, by the way. Yeah, I know. The logo was. logo really sick. I'm sure there's death record shirts on Etsy. Oh my God. I need. I need. Apparently they were going to call it Swan Songs. Swan Songs Records, because obviously Swan.

But they decided to change it because that became literally the record label for Led Zeppelin's like Vanity Projects. So they didn't want to get into a protracted legal battle over it. and the last minute changed it to death records. And honestly, great change. Great change. Cool dead bird as a logo. There are hella death records t-shirts all over the internet. Oh, I guess something we should mention to a kind of, you know,

ham-fisted analogy that comes back repeatedly. This guy is writing a rock opera about Faust, a character who's sold. Oh, boy, here's where that not academia Fleming comes in. Yeah, well then for you. Can you guys real quick? Blaine Faust. It's like a German story about a guy who sells his soul to the devil. Oh, okay.

It's like a, you know, it's a Faustian bargain is, you know, you sell your soul. You know, you get the thing you want. But then, of course, you know, everything goes awry because you sold your soul to the devil. Well, he could have just said Charlie Daniels. He could have. And then I would have understood. Well, then nobody gets a gold fiddle in the movie. And nobody gets a good song either.

Nobody goes down to Georgia. So he is trying to, like, get them to acknowledge him. And, you know, I think the movie, like, a lot of this movie is ineffective. Something I think works really well is this feeling he has of being, like, gaslit by them. Of saying, like, we never took your songs. Like, as a, you know, low on the totem pole, lower middle, creative person, the terror you feel. Just like a fucking bazillionaire or a giant evil company will just steal your shit and

you will be out on the street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Relatable. It is related. Yeah, totally. And they burn your face too? Well, I think he burned his face. Oh, yeah, that's true.

But inadvertently, they burned his face. So, yeah, he's trying to get this record contract. He goes into Swan's house, which has like no security. He just goes in. and there's a bunch of women there auditioning with his songs and he so he tries to like

he tries to like infiltrate the house to get Swan to pay attention to him and we see this moment of like what's happening in Swan's bedroom he has this big circular bed wait we got to introduce the female he meets Phoenix oh sure he meets Phoenix there Phoenix will come back

she's this kind of nice nice gal who just wants to sing her heart out Well, she's the actress from Susperia as well, like, from the original. She's, like, kind of a... She had a fun 70s. Horror icon. She's been in a lot of stuff. Like, she does other roles.

She was in the Rocky Horror sequel as well. Yes. I know there was a Rocky Horror sequel. There is, oh, my God. It's kind of unofficial, I feel like, but it's written by the same guy who did Rocky Horror. I didn't know that. But, oh, my God, we have to do that one. but she's um her voice is the most okay voice i've ever heard and yeah no one is no one in this

seems to be a good singer um foo boy we'll get to beef at some point oh but hang on now don't you fucking shit on you're a great beef you're a beef fan all right oh i think we know who the hunk watch is going to be for this episode and i agree so yeah so he meets phoenix there and to kind infiltrate things he sneaks into like swan's bedroom and he has like all of these women kind of laying around rubbing each other on this circular bed they're like swan likes to watch us before he joins and i am like here we go yeah it's i like hell comes to frogtown you assume this movie is gonna be way hornier than it is 100% basically nothing nothing else sexy happens in this movie they were even talking about taking off the chick's blouse and I was like, do it.

Yes, I was so excited. They didn't even do it. People are so clothed in this movie. In this movie about sexy rock and roll excess. Everyone is wearing huge ponchos and jackets all the time. I know. Well, the other thing was in Hell Cups of Frogtown. I told you guys about how I am as a straight woman somehow still very turned on by the

meatlove music video with the women all. Yeah, I would do anything for love, yeah. This is the same fucking thing. And it wasn't hot to me this time. Yeah. It wasn't hot. Yeah. If you think this movie is going to be some sort of like decadent, sexy, rock and roll good time.

It is not. No, not sexy. It's not trying to be either, I don't think. You know, yeah, I feel like it wants to be at certain times. There's that, like, weird sex scene between them anyway. But yeah, it's like, it's like, it like, It, uh, yeah, nothing, nothing titillating happens in this. Uh, unless you like silver teeth and, no tits. No, yeah, no tits whatsoever.

But, yeah, I guess if you like bird masks and silver teeth, maybe you'll be horned up by this movie. By the way, this movie, this movie is rated PG, by the way. Sure. It is, what? And has some stuff in it, uh, anyway. Yeah, maybe don't, maybe don't show this to your eight year old. Right. It's crazy that this movie is rated PG. I saw that and then I was like, oh, there won't tits in this. Wait, wait, wait. What is Rocky Horror rated? That's a great question.

I don't know. Because Rocky Horror is one of the most sensual experiences as like anyone I think you'll ever have. And I don't know when that came out versus when this came out. That came out a couple years later. So Rocky Horror, what? Rocky Horror was a play before this. Oh.

This movie comes out and then a year later the Rocky Horror Picture Show comes out. so I you know and it's impossible to compare not to compare these movies but I I do feel like maybe they saw the play and rip this off that that's that's this is my I agree that has to be it also Brian DePama seems like a bitter betty I'm gonna be real like this movie just feels like I hate the beach boys and like fuck that play that was trying to do this like a little bit But, I mean, sorry. It's all the same guts for sure. But, yeah, definitely one of these movies.

But Brian De Palma, you're still alive. You're 84. If you need anyone to write anything or get your coffee, we are all available. Absolutely. Do you want to be a guest on a podcast? Yeah. Get over here, you bitter bitch, Betty. I love to have you here.

Come on, Brian De Palma. You want to watch Laura Croft Tomb Raider on Zumo Play? Join us. That might be fun to watch sometimes. I would be. anyway so yeah so the movie isn't sexy they he uh what's our whatever our dude's name who becomes the phantom he like dresses up and dragged like you know he's like in the pile of women again this all should be sexy and fun it's not um he's just like in the pile he gets thrown

out and like um like he gets drugs planted on him by the cops yeah and he gets he gets he gets thrown into this jail where sing sing where they have to take it's like he gets he gets his teeth out. But that it's owned by Swan, the villain, owns the prison now. And again, this kind of like, I think it does a pretty good job of the like the paranoia of the giant corporation. Like the guy owns everything. So he's just fucked like no matter what he does.

Yes. I did think the gag of everybody at this prison has to get all their teeth pulled was good. Yeah. That to me is kind of a dark, funny, brazili type joke that I liked. So he gets, he gets in this jail. where he gets his teeth pulled. He gets the, like, silver teeth that maybe you've, like, seen on the posters and on the, you know, in the clips. Cool as fuck.

Yeah, he looks super cool. He escapes jail somehow. He, like, gets in this cardboard box and kind of falls out of a truck. This little segment is kind of fun. It's a little zany. I think maybe you're kind of supposed to think of a hard day's night a little bit here. He's kind of sped up. But anyway, so he tries to blow up the record company with, and I appreciated this,

A big bundle of dynamite. Now, would I have preferred it to be a giant circular black bomb with a wick at the top? Yes, that's the way you blow something up. But bundle of dynamite, pretty good. It does the trick. It does the trick. As long as the detonator is a thing that you have to push down like a T, you know, and just go like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, plungered.

Yeah, that's a fun way to blow up a bomb. And as we mentioned, he gets his face smashed in one of the record. record presses, scarring it so that he must, he must don a mask, he must don't a crazy bird mask. But it was more than scarring it. It was putting his eyeball in a different place in his eyes. It moved his eyeball. That's how bad he got burned. His eye moved.

Yeah, he turned into sloth from the Goonies, essentially. So, yeah, he put, and again, this, like, this look of his is so fucking cool and genuinely pretty scary. And sexy. And maybe a little sexy. There's a lot of, like, cuts to him reacting to stuff going like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like his, every time they did that, I'm like, oh, that is my face when I'm looking at the Yelp page of the restaurant I'm going to that night. Ah, yum, oh, ha, yummy, yummy. I'm going to have the Brussels sprouts.

Which I hope I have room for dessert. Oh, yeah, punch cake. When will six o'clock? Get here. I have a question, though. Yeah. Maybe I missed the context for this, but his mask that he takes on does look a lot like a bird mask. Yes.

Which we've got Swan, who is our villain, and then Phoenix, who is our female protagonist. Was he just going as the phantom, or was there another bird he was in a game? I mean, he looks like a bird. He looks like a two can. He looks like two can and Sam. Yeah. Gop. I think there is.

I think you have identified a genuine film motif, which is bird. Which is very academia of you. Very academia of you. But I mean, they could have, the phantom, they could have called him, I don't know, there could have been some kind of a phantom too can't. I don't know. There's a pun in there. But you know what?

The fact is you identified it. And for that, we're going to give you this honorary degree. Now, hang on. Just because I'm admitting that I'm not an academic does not mean that we can. and just stupefy me. No, we haven't stupefied you. I'm saying, you're right. There is, that is the motif of it.

He looks like a bird, goddammit. No, you are, you are correct. And then the guy's name is a bird name. What in Tarnation? Give me my gun. Poo! Poo! Moodfroker! I'm literally not making fun of you.

I'm telling you you're right. I know, I know. You are correct. But the thing is everybody starts painting their face like his character in the, like, chorus and stuff for things moving forward and it makes you think oh is it supposed to be swan is like i don't know either way cool mask looks like a bird yeah you can see like why why the like image of this has like endured totally because it looks awesome and yeah so they he like terrorizes the record company a little bit they swan makes a deal with them he's like stop terrorizing me and

i'll let you rewrite your musical uh so they lock him in this like room with a bunch of synthesizers pretty cool. I guess it was an actual recording studio that Paul Williams used to make better songs than the ones that appear in this movie. Sure, sure. But secretly, they are trying to find someone to perform

the music who is not Phoenix. The Phantom has said, he only wants Phoenix to perform. And they're like, yeah, sure, but they stick her in the chorus and they try and find a new singer. I don't exactly know why. I don't know what their problem with Phoenix is. I guess they just want someone more.

He said something about she was too perfect. Yeah, you're right. That's something like that. It feels like a statement on hating. It's like very much like the experience of Paul Williams and a producer he hates. Yes. And this is just like, you know producers how they're always like you have the song, you have the perfect person and they want to change it. And it's like I don't know that.

But that I could see how that sucks. You know how you write a beautiful song? they give it to Kermit the Frogs, thing? Yeah, I was like, he's bitter about that his whole life. Been there, dude. Yeah. The other thing.

That was for Christine McVee. I think that that's 100% correct. But then I also think this idea of someone being perfect for someone, for something, and then stringing them along to kind of make them more obsessed with pleasing you could be like his motivation to string Phoenix along to the point where she knows she's better than these other people and then the moment he gives her the opportunity he's got her in the palm of his hand

so yeah so we so he's he's trying to like yeah he is stringing her along but he's like trying to replace her behind her back and the guy he gets is beef that's right beef who is a supposed to be kind of like a glam rock guy maybe he's supposed to be kind of a bowie pasty shirt you think it's meatloaf

oh maybe maybe there's a little meatloaf in there, all the glam guys from the 70s. Yeah, he's very camp. What I love about this character is the guy who's playing him is like he's doing an over-the-top like effeminate, you know accent, he's got a lisp.

You know, there's a lot of what do you call it? Cibbolent S's and stuff like that. And the character itself is mostly comic relief. And what I enjoy is the fact that

there's one guy, and we say this every time, there's one guy who knows what movie he's in. And this is my guy. I'm watching him enjoying his performance is perfect. He's not a great singer necessarily, or at least not in this movie. Now hang on. I couldn't tell.

It's hard. It's hard to tell. I'd agree. Beef is funny in this. He does some like falls that kind of got a laugh out of me. Yeah. It's, he understands like, okay, this is kind of like,

Like a stupid silly movie So he's doing great I have a lot of opinions About stuff I definitely think this is a dig at meatloaf Especially because we know That the musical came out and all that stuff And I think Meatloaf was in the musical

I'm not sure Now that I'm looking at it I feel like there is some Underlying men You know what? This is An assumption may not be true There is a little bit of underlying homophobia.

A hundred thousand percent. To juicy fruits. Yes. Calling the beach boys juicy fruits because you don't like them in this time period. And then making this character that I think is referencing meatloaf who was in Rocky Horror. Yes. Maybe that. So I'm thinking there's something going on here where there's some machismo.

100%. I think Bowie was kind of like out at this point. So maybe there's a little bit of like, look at these gay. guys and their makeup. So, yeah, I think that is absolutely here. But I love Beef. I think Beef was just said yes to a gig. Sure.

And did the best, he changed the octave, as he should have. And I thought once he got that, I think he was a good singer. Yes. Because the thing is, okay, I don't think that you're supposed to be an amazing singer at everything. I think you've got to give it the umph. Yes. That, you know, that something, something that makes.

makes you feel the music. You don't have to be, not everybody's Whitney Houston, y'all. That's right. That's right. Sometimes you just give it the. Have a unique voice. Give it the juice, if you will. Yeah, the juicy fruits.

The beef, the beef's got the juice. Give it the beef. Here's the beef, motherfuckers. Yes, I agree completely. I think, listen, I think, you know, Beef's performance, I think you can feel a lot of different ways about it. I think we can all agree

he's probably the tallest person in the movie. Oh. Tallest guy. You're sure it's not swan. Yeah, I don't think so. I do probably need to see them back to back. Yeah, yeah. Did you guys do that too when people wanted to go back to back with you?

Matt, you probably had this experience. Oh, I love it. It's my favorite game. I always win. As a girl, everybody's like, oh, we'll go back to back. And I'm like, just look at me in the eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can see I'm taller than you.

You're at my nipple level. So beef is the new, like, star of this. show this Faust rock opera um they do that like we get to see the play and it's like not as cool as you want it to be the like juicy fruits come out and like kiss makeup and they like have they like cut up these dolls i couldn't i couldn't tell if we're supposed to think they're actually cutting up audience members or not i anyway whatever yeah which the audience was losing their mind over it yeah the audience is freaking out and it's it again it's that thing of like you're supposed to be buying that these are going to be the world's greatest songs.

And you just, they're so weird in atonal. You just don't. And anyway, oh, and also, so Swan and Phoenix have a, like, a little love affair. They go to his circle bed and you're like, okay, here's the sex scene. And she just kisses him on the cheek and they remain fully clothed. Well, she does some pajama grinding. She does some pajama grinding. They do grind pajamas.

But wait, we have to talk about how. I've heard of a BJ, but a PJ? But a PJ? But we had to talk about how beef got set on fire and exploded. Wouldn't the beef get set on fire and exploded? Before this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, this was, beef dies.

This is after, you know, the phantom threatens him in a psycho, you know, in this. Shower scene. There's a little, yeah, parody of the psycho shower scene. Yes. The phantom threatens it with a plunger, puts a plunger on his face. It's pretty funny. Right. And he breaks out, basically. they were trying to

okay so they were going to trap him in the room where he's writing all the songs by bricking it off which a plan immediately fails because he just breaks out because he just breaks out of the bricks and then he goes and he threatens beef

and he says those songs are only for Phoenix but you know in his robot voice and then beef is about to quit the show and he does it in such like a great way where he's like I'm a professional when I say I don't want to do a show I'm not going to do a show

and then the guy threatens him and he does the show anyways and then on stage as he's performing the phantom throws a neon lightning bolt at him which looks like a prop I guess

I don't know yeah it's like in the world of the show is this a prop is this an actual lightning bolt where did he get it? It's the power rangers logo it actually was and then he gets electrocuted

and then explodes and sets on fire and they take for ever to like to extinguish it and then Swan goes over to Phoenix and goes now you have to sing the songs and she goes out and does

the okayest job and then everybody loses their fucking mind the like twist I guess I passed over is that we see this we see this like very tepid PJ sex scene between Swan and Phoenix

the Phantom is watching this he like he just a knife he like stabs himself but he can't die and we learn that swan uh has has a very on the nose backstory where he like the main character of faust made a deal with the devil to stay famous and he can't die uh so he can't die because they're both contractually linked to each other that logic make it's like it follows yeah it's a little bit like it follows so yeah they both like try and kill themselves and can't. It's so stupid because it's like you can't have more Faustian bargains. Not everyone can have a deal with the devil. You can't just

keep doing that over and over again. Maybe his like deal with the devil is that he has to keep getting people contractually obligated. It's like an MLM but with the devil. Well no no exactly it's like the ring. He just wanted to sell a bunch of leggings he has in his garage. He's got to sell some cutco knives. Exactly. It's like the ring where it's like I make a tape and you got to watch the tape. And then it is. It's exactly like an MLM. I love multi-level marketing devil.

He's a real son of a bitch. I mean, I know he's evil, but this is really, really dastardly. You know, I think that the sad thing is that the devil is probably not as evil and exciting as we think we are, as we think he is. He's probably mundane as fuck. Absolutely.

Like that with MLMs. I think that is where he lives. It's going to be selling supplement. in the afterlife. A girl. So, yes. And so Swan has this plan to kill Phoenix on stage

for some reason. He hires a sniper. And before we talk about the weird, confusing ending of the Phantom of the Paradise, we're going to hear a little message. we're back it's free with ads we're talking about the conclusion of the phantom of the paradise so yes as we mentioned beef gets blown up with a lightning bolt the phantom as the phantom of the opera also does is kind of like sneaking around up up in the wings up on the up on the you know,

proscenium or whatever. He's throwing stuff down. I don't know if that's what it's called. Boy, I love it. The comments are going to take that comments. I'm going to get roasted for misusing proscenium. Oh,

it was the perennium. Perennium, sorry. Paranium. Yeah. Perennium, I just met him. We're having fun. The perineum. It's the little ramp backstage between the penis and ball.

The phantom of the. Irony-on. Sure. Anyway, so, like, Phoenix is the star of the show. There's these, like, bikini dancers who are just kind of, like, gyrating around her. And she just gets on stage and kind of spins around. They didn't give her any choreography. She's just kind of randomly spinning.

But the Phantom saves. He saves Phoenix. And he jumps down, and I think stabs Swan. And then, like, everybody turns on Swan. I don't know. know if it's supposed to remind you of like people killing Caesar, but maybe that's kind of what it's supposed to look like. Well, there's something about with his deal he made with the devil, it was about him

staying young and beautiful. Right. And so he had this kind of Dorian Gray, like a video thing. No, literally. Literary reference, somebody's in academia. Look at that. Look at academia down there. Somebody got horny to Penny Dreadful.

Blah! Anyway, so anyway, he's got a... Shout out to Reeve Carney. But also very the ring coded where it's like he, his, instead of a painting, it was a video recording that he had to like reference every night in order for him to stay beautiful. And I think when our phantom was watching it, he had destroyed it.

Yeah, he burned down his video room. And you knew it was a video room because every single video said video on it. Yes. And so. So we nullified all the contracts, I guess. I guess. Or he made him not beautiful anymore. Yeah.

So at the wedding, which this was a wedding for Phoenix and. Live on TV. Oh, right. Sure. Like live. He was going to kill her at. Yes. And I think that that is supposed to be a sacrifice in some way.

I think that the point was muddled. But in my opinion. Because he's bad. well he forced her to sign a contract in blood the same way he made um the phantom sign it and i feel like he was going to take her voice which is like a little mermaid thing i don't know and or a phantom of the opera thing so when he like shit goes down his face comes up and is looking at her and it's all burned off right and you assume that's because he fucked up his dorian gray video i guess i don't know I'm just accepting it as that. Sure. That's what I think. I think that's a fine explanation.

Thank you. To whatever happened in this at the end of this movie. I just like things to like be somewhat, you know. That makes sense. That sounds fine to me. Thanks. Yeah. And that's the end of the Phantom of the Paradise.

We're going to rank it on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials. But first, you know, we got to do the Honk Watch. Yay. It's Honk Watch. Emily, I'll let you kind of like take this home because I think you have the biggest opinions here. I'll just say one of the juicy fruits at the beginning was smoking a cigarette while he was playing the guitar.

That guy was pretty cool. Yeah, he was pretty cool. That's my guy, the guy who smokes and plays the guitar. Matt, did you have any thoughts? I mean, it's got to be beef. Like, I truly was, Beef made the movie watchable to me because even in the scenes where he's singing, even if I'm not fully enjoying the singing,

I was enjoying watching his performance of it And yeah Like I said He's the one guy who gets that he's in a movie that's stupid And I respect that And he was very attractive Emily These are your you share these thoughts

Yeah beef is my guy I just I liked that he was actually a good guy I like characters that are seen as vain And frivolous That are actually they have a heart of good, a heart of good. A heart of good.

Heart of good. Hard a good. Hard a good. God damn gold. Yeah. And they, just because you're frivolous and selfish, doesn't mean you don't give a fuck about other people. Right. And I think he's one of those guys, but also he's hot and he's got that curly

head of hair. And he's got a cool voice, not a good voice. A cool voice. Yeah. Yeah. It was, you know, a movie that should have had more hunks. I feel like one of the things that was missing. I mean, it's a movie about how I guess like glam rock sucks or

something. So I figure like we'll have some more more glam guys in it. What are we doing? Have hot dudes. Show the chest. Yeah, I know and it's like, and again, you hate to do this. Rocky Horror is so full of hot people. Yes.

Anyway, so if they were like ripping it off, they like didn't, they got so much stuff wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's the that's the Hunkwatch, we are going to rank this movie on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials when we come back. we're going to rank this movie, the Phantom of the Paradise.

I almost said repo the genetic opera. On a scale of one to ten super loud commercials. But first, we want to remind you to go to maximum fun.org slash join you become a member and you get to hear all our bonus episodes, including our most recent one on the pilot of Mighty Morphan Power Rangers. We had a blast talking about that show.

And you get all our bonus episodes. you get all of the bonus episodes from all of the max fun shows on jordan jesse go we just did a review of godzilla versus con with uh elliott caylin from the flop house we reviewed that movie uh because it has podcasting in it that's what we're doing for our bonus episodes we're reviewing movies that have podcasts in them so uh yeah so check it out all the shows have really cool weird fun bonus episodes uh us included go over there to maximum fun.org slash join and uh keep the show go All right. We're going to rank Phantom of the Paradise on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials.

Emily, let's hear from you first. What'd you think? Okay, so I love camp, you know me, and I like silly, and I like big swings, but I don't like it when it's got hate in its heart. And I feel like this movie had nothing but disdain and hate in its heart. The joy, the joy wasn't there to me. I want to see something that is joyful or at least

I mean it's definitely a good movie to have on the background of a party of course that's one of my main things but you can't even have it on in the background of doing stuff around your house because it's like I don't know it's just so jarring I would rather watch

hell comes to Frogtown twice twice back to back than watch this movie ever again It is a two for me. Matt Lee, what do you think? I, yeah, I mean, I mostly agree, although my rating is going to be a little bit higher because I found there to be some redeeming aspects to it. But I agree.

It was, I could only see it as coming from a bitter and hateful place. There was just something about it where it was just kind of like, you know, sort of hackneyed, which is kind of. maybe unfair because maybe it was groundbreaking but to me the like man aren't record producers like the devil doesn't feel like a groundbreaking insight um and also the music wasn't great and i feel like if the music isn't great what are we what are we really doing here um and yes i do feel like there was sort of a latent homophobia to the whole um not just the beef character but sort of the the anti glam rock stance that it felt like it took which in the 80s really I mean goes

hardcore in that direction and in the 70s I feel like well the 70s was the beginning of sort of the backlash of the of the you know 60s and sort of like you know the yeah all of our men aren't men anymore you know wear their makeup yeah yeah they're doing dresses and they look awesome yeah yeah and they look cool and they fucked way more than you ever will so what do we talk what do we really doing here? Yeah.

Why are you mad? But yeah, so there was a little bit of that for me, although, again, I don't know if it's fair to say if it meant to be that way. And yeah, but visually cool movie to look at. I'm going to give it a four because of how awesome the makeup was and how awesome the costume design was. Yeah. Yeah, I'll go right in between you guys.

I think it was a three for me. Yeah, I was kind of surprised I didn't like this more. I like all this stuff. I'm like great. I, you know, I like camp. I like a rock musical. I like a, like a cokey weird 70s thing. But yeah, all the stuff we've mentioned, you know,

and I think just the main crime is that the music isn't great. Like, if it would have an awesome Beach Boys parody that you were humming, or if it had a great glam parody that, like, felt like, you know, the coolest glam song you never heard in your life, it would like that, you know, even if you are sending the stuff up, You know, Weird Al Yankovic has affinity for the music he's parodying, you know. So, yeah, it, I thought all the, yeah, if the songs were better, it would be totally different ballgame. But yeah, I think, I think like last week's Hell Comes to Frogtown, I think this movie works so well in clips.

And maybe that is just the best way to experience it. Check out a couple clips, you know, see some of the set designs, see his weird costume, which is genuinely very cool. and but yeah don't don't feel like you need to waste a movie night on this thing in my opinion um all right uh let's do a little little plug it emily think you got anything coming up i mean as always i'm going to say go check out give it the cool weekend on saturdays on the uh gmm channel on youtube you can just put in gmm and then it'll pop up and saturdays we're all on there oh yeah go check that out uh matt anything yeah you should if you are in the last Angeles area, please come out to the Ice House in Pasadena, where my wife, Francesca

if you weren't seeing me and I, I'm sorry, I can't help it. We have a monthly show over at the Ice House. It is called New World Disorder. We have our next one on October 1st. So please, if you are in Los Angeles or Pasadena or Altadena or somewhere in the greater Los Angeles area, please come out for that. Alameda, maybe? Sure. Well, Alameda isn't that that's far but if you're maybe a little far that's maybe a little far but if you're in Alameda and you're in Alameda and you want a nice long weekend trip yeah drive down to L.A take a boat or take a plane or take a car and camp onawanna yeah I hold you in my heart this thing came apart yeah I hope we never part now get it right or pay the price look at that

do we all know hey dude no wait uh no what show is that excuse me salute the short hey dude was also Very good. Oh, look at us. Are we 90s kids? Are we, you're a member that, are you know you're old? Kill me. You can see the. Kill me.

Kill me. I want to die. Um, yeah, so please come out to the ice house. It's going to be really fun. Linked in bio. Yeah, also, uh, something else for you lucky folks in the southern California area. I'm going to be at LA Comic-Con September 26th through 28th. Uh, I'm going to be tabling at J-O-7.

You can remember that. by remembering Jack Off 7. That's where I'll be. At the table, I'm going to have a new guest with me every day. So I'm going to have a buddy with me selling stuff. So it'll be me in a rotating group of pals selling stuff at L.A. Comic-Con September 26 through the 28th. And on the 27th, I will be doing a panel 1 p.m. 407 with a bunch of other cool comics writers.

So come see that. Come to the table, get some stuff. Remember, Jack Off 7. That's where I'll be. Jordan. L.A. Comic-Con. Will you reveal one or two of those people in the future? Like, will you give us a sneak peek?

You know, I can do that right now. I'll do it. Wow. On the 26th, joining me will be Max Funn's own Jesse Thorne. All right. He's going to be selling weird stuff from the, his online store that put this on shop. He has a bunch of weird pop culture stuff he'll be selling. On the 27th, my buddy Eliza Skinner will be with me, selling her.

Pop Culture Ceramics. Oh, shit. On the 28th, Rob Cutner, a great comedy writer will be there selling his comics and graphic novels, and I'll have copies of comics for everybody. So come down, hang out with

those cool folks and me at LA Comic-Con, the 26th, through the 28th. Okay, tune in next week when our movie will be Repo Man. Woo! Maximum Fun Maximum Fun

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