Free With Ads - Practical Magic

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

For the final Free With Ads Hallow-Peen celebration, we all watched the 1998 classic Practical Magic, staring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman as two very 90's witches.Jordan Morris will be at Revenge... of Comics and Pinball on November 2nd for the Creators Block Party featuring such luminaries as Patton Oswalt, Jordan Blum, Josh Gad, Jesse Thorn, Elliot Kalan, and so much more! Find out more here!Also, Jordan will be at the Berkeley Public Library ComicCon on Novmber 9th! At 11am he will doing a panel at the second floor Mystery Room. Find more info at BerkeleyPublicLibrary.comVisit Emily's ETSY store right now and buy some stuff! Great for holiday shopping!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 This This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Disney Plus 10 bucks a month for nine episodes of Agatha all along when you can go online for free and watch a Witch Coven story that doesn't require you to remember what happened in Wand Division, Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness, Avengers Infinity War, Avengers Endgame, Avengers Age of Ultron, and 90 years of Marvel comics, I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Practical Magic,
Starting point is 00:00:54 the 90s supernatural rom-com family drama that's got more seasonal cozy vibes than a pumpkin spice weighted blanket. Ooh. And with us always is super producer Matt hitting us with those sweet drops. Yeah. Pfft.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Plops. Beautiful. Breath of plops back. This is our final episode of Howl O Peen, our dive into the world of free spooky movies,
Starting point is 00:01:20 where we'll probably make jokes about that dangly sex organ sometimes referred to as the peen. Before we get into this movie, which is as of this recording, streaming free with ads, let's talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. Other free stuff. Thank you. As y'all might know, I really love and get a lot of
Starting point is 00:01:40 inspiration from the career of Bobby Boris Pickett, the guy who wrote the Monster Mash, who wrote and performed the Monster Mash. You know, this guy had this giant hit, a monster hit if you will, and then just leaned in. This guy wrote so many fucking monster songs, it's crazy. Albums and albums of songs, just like, rehashing
Starting point is 00:02:05 and reshuffling the Monster Mash for all these various holidays. There's like a Monster Beach song, there's a Monster Christmas song, but also like when a new trend would surface, he would do like a version of that, but for the Monster Mash. And a lot of these were kind of like lost to time,
Starting point is 00:02:22 but I guess his estate or someone affiliated with him has kind of a newish YouTube channel where they're like uploading all his songs, really nice versions of them, and they're all so much fun and they're all so funny, and I just wanted to play for our final Halloween episode this year, his 80s take on the Monster Mash, the Monster Rap.
Starting point is 00:02:49 So yeah, he recorded this in the 80s when hip hop was a hot new trend and he decided that the monsters needed to get in on the act. The kites went up without a hitch, then Igor screamed. I'll pull this witch! The goat came down, his head went zap. Now he's doing the monster rap. Shock the body, shock the body body, shock the body, shock the body body, shock the body, shock the body body, shock.
Starting point is 00:03:19 I've given you a voice, now rap for daddy. When I shot a million bolts, it hit in my brain, now rap for daddy. I wear the shot of million bones, you're in my brain now ready to run. Oh my god, it's horny. No rap for daddy. I love it. This is kind of fire, dude. This is fire.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Right? First of all, shock the body. Shock the body. Body is fucking catchy. That's a great hook. I just am trying to find out where the hip hop was. It was all over. That was born in the streets.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Rap for daddy. Yes, rap for daddy. Where does daddy fit in the monster mesh? Yeah, I guess just he's making it very literal. He's the daddy of the monsters. He's the daddy of all the monsters. OK, OK. I was like, yeah, you got a vampire, you got a mummy,
Starting point is 00:04:17 and then daddy is there. Yeah, I guess in this, he's making it very literal, the symbolism that Dr. Frankenstein is the monster's father figure. Yes, yes, okay. Put it up for daddy. Well yes, Bobby Boris Pickett, a legend, he's got a monster song for every holiday. Hey, we're gonna-
Starting point is 00:04:40 Is he still kickin'? No, he is not still kickin'. No! He's with the monsters now. Well, RIP buddy. I hope that you're listening to this from beyond the grave. Yes, partying in hell. With all of your favorite monsters. That's really good, Jordan.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Thank you. I do a pretty good Bobby Boris picket. Did not help a lot on my SNL audition. They said, you know, we're looking for current celebrities and politicians. Yeah, that's what they said to Bill Hader when he brought in an Alan Alda. Like I always wonder. Okay, works alright for Bill Hader. Maybe I just need to keep pushing my Bobby Boris picket.
Starting point is 00:05:28 You do. I think you do. I've got an okay Jennifer Tilly apparently. Okay. Can you do, can you, can you, uh... Well, I don't know because I... Can you say rap for daddy is Jennifer Tilly? Uh, rap for daddy. That was good. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:05:42 I wonder what it would be like if Jennifer Tilly met Bobby Boris Pickett. Hmm, I bet that'd be a funny situation. Spooky. Well, hey, we're sorry in advance when we have to end this podcast to go on Saturday Night Live. It'll just take up too much of our time.
Starting point is 00:06:00 The Bobby Boris Pickett and Jennifer Tilly sketches that they're gonna want us to do every single week. Hey, we're gonna talk about our final Howl-O-Pean movie, Practical Magic, but before we start talking about this movie, we should mention that it does include partner violence as part of the plot, so if that's not something you wanna hear about, we're gonna play a little music and give you a chance
Starting point is 00:06:23 to find another episode. ["Practical Magic"] We're back, it's Free With Ads. We're talking about Practical Magic. Yeah, maybe a little bit of context before we get into the movie. I had never seen this before. This was my first time. Really?
Starting point is 00:06:50 Yeah, yeah. And I guess my knowledge about it going in was this. Kind of a minor hit. It has Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman, but it really stuck around on cable. It stuck around on DVD. And now it is just this like cult hit, and I guess they just like announced the sequel, right?
Starting point is 00:07:09 Yes, they did, which I'm like, so I also forgot that Evan Rachel Wood played one of the daughters, like Sandra Bullock's daughters, so I'm like, is she gonna be in it? That would be so cool, I don't know. I'm very excited to see it, and Stockard Channing is still with us and kicking ass, so she better be in it.
Starting point is 00:07:27 She's an icon in this movie too. Do we know anything about who's writing it and directing it, or are there any plot details? I have not looked into that. I guess I'm kind of a little scared it's gonna be not good. I'm scared about that, so I'm like not looking at it. Yeah, like what are the good,
Starting point is 00:07:46 what are the good like Lego sequels? What are the good sequels that came, you know, like 20, 30 years after the actual movie? I actually- Gladiator 2. Gladiator 2's gonna be it. Everyone's saying it's good. Everyone's saying it's really good, yeah. Everyone said Beetlejuice was good,
Starting point is 00:08:02 and then I saw it and they were wrong. I have not seen Beetlejuice yet I'm super curious, but uh, no good didn't like it didn't like it Not the right movie to do in 4dx either because it was like no, there's no wrong movie to do in 4dx It's bad. You know like like sprayed No, I was like sprayed and I was one of five people in the theater. That's funny. Like no one was there and you just, there's something really funny about a bunch of empty
Starting point is 00:08:31 chairs just shaken like back and forth. No one's in it. Yeah, there would be like a scene where someone's riding a bicycle on the sidewalk and you are just getting whiplash in your chair and you're like, what is this enhancing? I don't know what this is. I can't wait for all those 4D theaters, the theaters with the chairs that shake and the hoses that spray you during the movie. I can't wait for Oscar season,
Starting point is 00:08:56 where they have to do that for whatever this year's... Megalopolis. Yeah, Megalopolis. Whoa! I feel like I'm in the chariot with wow platinum. I'm there with, God what's Adam Driver's character's name? How would we know? How would we know?
Starting point is 00:09:12 We've all seen it right? We've all gone to, we all. Absolutely not. I did go to see it. No, I haven't seen it. Caesar Catalina I believe is his name. Caesar Catalina. Oh my God, that's his name?
Starting point is 00:09:22 I know, yeah I mean George Lucas and Francis Forde, Caesar Catalina, I believe is his name, Caesar Catalina. Oh my God, that's his name? I know, yeah, I mean, George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola are friends. I feel like Francis Ford Coppola looked at the Star Wars names and said, hold my beer. I can give some people some dumb ass fucking names. Hold my wine that I make in my vineyard. Yeah, hold my canned wine. Hold my canned wine that I make in my vineyard. Yeah, hold my canned wine.
Starting point is 00:09:45 My canned wine that I apparently sold to have enough money to make this incoherent mess. Wait, he sold his winery? I think he sold a steak in the winery to make that movie. Yeah, so I think Coppola Wine is now in other hands. And, but on the plus side, the world has Megapolis, the story of Caesar Catalina, where John Voight tells Aubrey Plaza to look at his boner
Starting point is 00:10:09 and then pulls the sheet aside to reveal a tiny bow and arrow, which he shoots her with and kills her with one shot. Actually, something that happens in that movie. I... At this point, I'm not convinced he made the Godfather. Maybe he did. I know. There's no way. At this point, I'm not convinced he made the Godfather. Maybe he did. I know.
Starting point is 00:10:26 There's no way. He can't have. He can't have made it. I'm just glad that you don't see John Voight's penis. I'm just relieved to hear that. Yeah, you do for a second think he's gonna move the sheet to reveal. Even Coppola knows you'd rather die.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Than see a Republican's penis. Oof. What kind of Sores and Legions must be on that thing? A Republican's penis? What kind of... Hey, but hey, we... Listen, Megapolis, not a classic. This movie is a classic.
Starting point is 00:11:03 I think it's a classic, this movie, this movie is a classic. Yeah, I guess when they put it on HBO Max, it immediately became the number one movie. So people love this thing. Yeah, let's. It didn't get great reviews when it first came out. Yeah, I think kind of a disappointment at the time, but just one of those movies that stuck around.
Starting point is 00:11:22 I just know that all the girls that I was growing up with, because this came out in 98, so I was like 12, which is the perfect age to see this movie. Being 12 in the 90s and seeing this was like, oh my God, I'm a witch. Did you go to see it in the theater? I don't remember if I saw it in the theater, but I do know I've probably seen it about 30 times.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Okay, wow. I love this movie. I watch it every year. I've watched it three times times. I love this movie. I watch it every year. I've watched it three times this year. No, three. Probably gonna watch it a fourth time. Is it a seasonal thing? Is it like as soon as the leaves start to turn? I mean, I know that doesn't actually happen in LA, but like.
Starting point is 00:11:56 It is, it really is. Myself and Jenna Purdy and Laura Morton, we like get together, watch Practical Magic. They have like a jar of movies. We have a jar with movies written down and pull one out. No, that's fun. And then sometimes we'll just keep pulling them till we find Practical Magic.
Starting point is 00:12:12 We want an excuse to do Midnight Margaritas. Yeah, honestly, yeah. Because you can't do it unless they're doing it in the movie anyway. Yes. So yeah, let's start talking about this thing. We open on an old timey pilgrim village and they're hanging a witch
Starting point is 00:12:32 and she has the gift of magic, says the narrator, and the witch kind of steps off the hanging platform and we see the rope break and then all the villagers like scatter in fear. This, I was a little, do you think there was supposed to be a special effect here and they just cheaped out because the rope breaking doesn't seem like it would tear. I was wondering why everyone was terrified
Starting point is 00:12:57 of the rope breaking. Well, I think it just confirmed that she was a witch and she was gonna come for all of them because they were all like really getting off on her dying. Yeah They were all excited about it those those Puritans love to hang a witch. They love to hang a witch Yeah, all she did was like, you know, fuck other people's husbands Yeah, that's what she's being hanged for they go to pretty much But they love a lot of close-up shots of angry pilgrim wives during this. Yeah, the men were all like, oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:30 So she is pregnant and she goes to live on an island and her lover never comes. And this is like part of a curse. This is part of a curse on their family. That their family line cannot fall in love without some sort of horrible tragedy happening. There's a lot of time jumping in this. We go to, then we go to kind of like the mom of the main characters, the main characters who will be Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kitman.
Starting point is 00:13:59 And she, her husband dies and then she dies and it's all kind of portended by a beetle, a creepy clicking beetle that is kind of the harbinger of the curse. And then the two girls, the two sisters go to live with their magical witch aunts, played by Stockard Channing and Diane Weist. This is just this plot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. This is a pretty one for one lift. Sabrina going to live with two magical aunts.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Anyway. I didn't even really put that together. I think that everything in this movie is like a power of twos. Like there's kind of a, Sandra Bullock has two daughters. One of them is, you know, kind of, they're all like replications of each other.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Yeah. The line. So, yeah. And then if you do three witches, then it's Hocus Pocus. And, you know, sure, can't can't copy everybody. You got to do five witches. I'm sorry. Sabrina has two ads. There's three Hocus Pocus. You got a four or above. I'm sorry. Let's have an original number of witches, people. Yeah. Instead of a cat, you have to have a bunch of lizards.
Starting point is 00:15:07 We can't do any, you know. Thank you. No problem. So we should say, you know, this movie kind of, not great reviews at the time, Middling Blocks Office, but Stockard Channing, who plays one of the ants, did win a Blockbuster Entertainment Award for her performance.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Really? Yeah, Blockbuster Video had an award show for a while. What? I had no idea. Stalker Channing won like something for this. I don't know, best actress. She's very good. Both her and Diane Weiss are really good.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I want all of the outfits that Stalker Channing wears are exactly what I will start dressing like in about 15 years. That is big hats. Why wait? Start now. Get giant hats. Listen, the titties are still up.
Starting point is 00:15:51 We're not covering them up for a while. It's like the legs of the titties are going to be out for 15 years and then everything goes into like closing sale. You need a hat so big people can't see the titties. Yeah, exactly. I will say, yes, as we mentioned, Stalker Channing and Dionne Weist dressed very outrageously in it. A lot of giant hats.
Starting point is 00:16:11 I think these hats are great for the characters. I think just technically we have to hear the worst hat sting, even though I feel positively about the hats. OK, well, play it anyway just because I just very much disagree. I think they're good hats. I'm saying I think they're good hats, but I'm saying, you know. We have to, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Sure, thank you. Great for the character, but man these are some giant hats. And they have like, in some scenes they have big like vaginal Georgia O'Keeffe flowers on them. Yeah, it's true. So yeah, we see the two girls, they're all like eating outside,
Starting point is 00:16:49 they're kind of like learning the like, learning the ins and outs of being a witch. I just wrote in my notes, cat on the table, there's a cat on the table, yay. I'm always like, is this my favorite movie now? I see what everybody's so crazy about, there's a cat on the table,. There's a cat on the table. Yay.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Love that cat on the table. I know. There's another good cat that appears at the end of the movie that Nicole Kidman's carrying. It's like a black cat. I think that's supposed to be the cat from the table. Oh, it's a good black cat. I love black cats.
Starting point is 00:17:20 My childhood cat Lucky was a black cat. Aw. Very nice. Yeah, my sister's cat Frankie. Oh yeah. We all love Frank. Good old Frankie. Shout out to my nephew Frank.
Starting point is 00:17:30 A legend, Frankie's a legend. He is a legend. So we cut to a time when I think Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are supposed to be teenagers. A lot of time jumping in this, a lot of unclear time jumping. The teenager scene was pretty funny because it's like they just put big dumb glasses on Right Sandra Bullock to make her look kind of nerdy and it was like we got a 40 year old woman and some glasses cool
Starting point is 00:17:55 What is going on here? Like yeah? Yeah, so like Nicole Kidman's running away with this dude. She throws an army sack of clothes over the balcony to run away with this dude. That's just showing their character. Nicole Kidman is the impulsive wild child. Sandra Bullock just wants to be normal. She says it many times, she just wants to be normal.
Starting point is 00:18:20 So Nicole Kidman leaves home to party. Sandra Bullock stays in their like hometown And meets a very handsome man who works at the farmers market. Hey, I think it's time for hunk watch It's hunk watch I really liked this Nameless characterless man that played her husband who spoiler alert will go on to die He just he seemed really nice. And he's definitely from, he's definitely a guy
Starting point is 00:18:47 from that thing. I didn't, I couldn't clock the actor. But. He was in some kind of, oh God, you know, what's the channel that Suits is on and Burn Notice? USA. USA. USA Network. They were, it was Royal Pains, I think is the name of the show that he was in. But yeah, he's definitely h Yeah, they were, it was Royal Pains, I think is the name of the show that he was in.
Starting point is 00:19:06 But yeah, he's definitely hunky, very like, oh, that's a daddy, you know? And he works at the farmer's market. I know, he's a cutie, he's real cute. But he's definitely in the running for the hunk watch for me, but we'll find out who my hunk was a little later. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, great, great.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Two-part hunk watch on this week. Yeah, it is a two-fer. Furry with ads, okay, great, great. Two part hunk watch on this week's furry with ads. A lot of hunks in this movie. A lot of hunks in practical magic. So yeah, so they get married, they have kids, but then, and she's, listen, she's got that normal life she always wanted, she's not teaching the girls magic, she's not gonna teach the girls magic
Starting point is 00:19:41 because she wants them to have a normal life. But, oh, you know, okay, so I guess before we talk about what happened to the husband, we'll talk about what Nicole Kidman has been up to. She is dancing around at a pool party that looks like the pool party from Boogie Nights. Yes, they're- It's cool.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Yeah. Yeah. And they're playing a good needle drop here. I think it's got to give it up. But it's clearly one of those situations where no one knew what song was playing and there's a lot of different dancing going on. Yeah. So she's like dancing with three dudes.
Starting point is 00:20:15 She's dancing with three hot guys. But the man that she cannot resist is Jimmy Angelov, a guy from Transylvania who talks like Borat. And if I, who doesn't end up being a vampire, by the way, if I was a guy, just a regular guy from Transylvania, I would be insulted by all these movies, assuming, because this guy turns out to be evil, of course. He's the villain of the movie, and of course,
Starting point is 00:20:45 the one Transylvanian actor in the movie. I don't know if he is Transylvanian. Oh yeah, I don't know if he's, yeah. But yeah, he's got a pretty heavy accent that sounds like a lot of different accents. Jordan is right, though. It is offensive to all of Transylvania. It is.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Well, yeah, to have like, why are they always evil? Like, there's definitely someone there who's like, I am a heart surgeon. You know what I mean? Yeah, also. I work with orphans. Yes. I do pediatric brain surgery.
Starting point is 00:21:20 I'm a woman in STEM. You're so brave. We applaud your bravery. Musical guest, Transylvanian villain. Honestly, that impression along with Monster Mash Guy are kind of the same. Oh yeah, I don't do a lot of voices. I only do a couple. Musical guest, and it all turns into musical guest at a certain point.
Starting point is 00:21:51 So she's, it's Nicole Kidman, is hooking up with this guy, Jimmy Angelov, but we can tell he's trouble. He wears a lot of rings, he wears a lot of jewelry, he makes a lot of weird comments, more on him later. So we go back to Sandra Bullock living her happy normal life and she hears the clicking of the beetle, the beetle that is the harbinger of the death of a husband. He's out doing his farmers market stuff
Starting point is 00:22:18 and she's tearing apart the house trying to find the beetle. Oh yeah, the baseboards, when she was with that baseboard. This is a cool scene and you're kind of cutting back to yeah, the baseboards. When she was with that baseboard. This is a cool scene. And you're kind of like cutting back to him at the farmer's market, you know, with us, the audience. We know that like something could happen here because we know about this like beetle curse. And so he's like dodging all these,
Starting point is 00:22:39 like there's the Tour de France just comes by. Their little main town. Yeah, he's got a cart full of produce and he's just walking in the middle of the road. And this is okay. So it's pretty suspenseful. We have Sandra Bullock tearing up the boards looking for the Beatle. We have him, you know, walking around in the middle of the street. Pretty suspenseful. This is the music they play.
Starting point is 00:23:08 Matt, can you play the background music to this scene? This movie, this movie is so dedicated to chill vibes. Even at the most suspenseful part, they just want you to feel like you're at a wine tasting all the time. This is what I want playing at my dead husband's funeral. Sure. So they're playing this music and then bam,
Starting point is 00:23:38 our dude just gets hit by a fucking truck. Hey Matt, it's time to play our Hot New Sting. Person in the road who the driver doesn't see and he accidentally gets hit by a car. Look both ways, kids. Look both ways. It's true. This is the third movie of Halloween. Yeah. Where we've had to use the sting. Do we think it's a horror movie,
Starting point is 00:24:05 just trope like in all spooky movies, or do we think we're gonna see this later on down the line? I mean, I know it's in Meet Joe Black, we should do that next. Oh yeah, sure, yeah, yeah. If it's free with ads. I've seen that GIF looped a million times of Brad Pitt or someone being bounced
Starting point is 00:24:21 between five different cars like a pinball. I like the part where he says, every teen guan be iry. Yeah, that is. I haven't seen that movie. Oh, it's great. It's great and it's bad. Yeah, I think it's just like plot wise, it's a way to kill a character that you,
Starting point is 00:24:40 it's like, well, it's an accident, you know, and you don't have to go into like who killed them or why. It's just like, oh, you got hit by a car, you know, and you don't have to go into like who killed them or why, it's just like, oh, you got hit by a car, you know, and then you can kind of go on with the movie just because it's something that happens. Anyway. Yeah, illness is slow. An illness death is usually a slow burn.
Starting point is 00:24:57 We gotta get this plot moving on. Sure, hit the fucking husband with the truck so we can get in the mystery cop from Arizona. Who is my honeyquad? Aiden Quinn, yeah, we'll get to his very strange plot line later. So the girls go to live with the ants but they are forbidden from practicing magic.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Well the girls, you mean like Sandra Bullock's daughters? Sandra Bullock's kids, yeah. So Sandra Bullock has two kids, one of which is a young Evan Rachel Wood. They go to live with like the aunts. So then Nicole Kidman, kind of hearing about the death of the husband comes to visit Sandra Bullock.
Starting point is 00:25:39 This movie has a wild tone. Like people, it's one of those things where it's like, the husband just died and the scene we see is Nicole Kidman talking about how much she loves fucking Johnny Angelov instead of dealing with the death of the husband. It's very jarring. And she says, we stay up all night
Starting point is 00:25:58 worshiping each other like bats. I know what you mean. You mean you stay up all night like bats, but the way you said that makes it sound like bats stay up worshiping each other. It's, yeah. That is weird. You don't know that they don't.
Starting point is 00:26:13 You know what? I guess I don't. I don't know what bats do when they stay up all night. Maybe they are worshiping each other. One time I was at camp and we did this thing where we'd sleep over in this giant like teepee that they made for us. I don't, it was like, and a bat got in there
Starting point is 00:26:30 and everyone else was fine with it and I wasn't, I was very scared of the bat. They're so gross, they're so fucking gross. Then my eardrum exploded, I had an ear infection. And that's my story about bats. Do you think they're related? Did it, did it's sonic scream it uses to locate insects? Bust your eardrum?
Starting point is 00:26:48 Well, now I think that that bat was up all night worshiping my eardrum. He was probably up, yes, because as we know from that sentence, Nicole Kidman says that makes sense. Bats stay up all night worshiping each other. Anyway, we go back to the town. As happens to all the women in this family, the like townspeople gather in groups to make fun of them.
Starting point is 00:27:09 The townspeople, kids and adults get together to point and yell things at them. And so the little girls are like dealing with it. She says to one of the like kids who's making fun of her, I hope you get chicken pox. This leads to a very funny cut later where the kid does in fact have chicken pox. So Sandra Bullock gets a call from Nicole Kidman. Her dude Johnny Angelov has been hitting her. Sandra Bullock goes to whatever city Nicole Kidman is in and finds her in a hotel.
Starting point is 00:27:42 She's got a big black eye. And then she goes to pick her up and drive her home and Johnny Angelov takes them hostage and he's heating up his ring to brand her. It is fucking terrifying. Yeah, this scene in the car where it's Sandra Bullock has to drive while he's pretty much tormenting her sister in the back.
Starting point is 00:28:05 It's crazy. Yeah. But they gave him like, Bella Donna, I guess is what she put him to sleep with when she called Sandra Bullock. So he like, kind of has a buildup to this stuff, I guess. It's kind of hard to kill this guy, as we will discover. Yeah, no kidding. So kind of what they do about it is they,
Starting point is 00:28:25 he's like taking slugs off this bottle of tequila, which will come back later, and they like put this belladonna, this like sleeping herb in it, and he like chugs it all, like finally, finally like passes out. They think they kill him.
Starting point is 00:28:39 They decide not to tell anybody about it. It's kind of unclear why. It seems like you have this out where they're like, the town thinks we're witches, we can't, but they're like, we can't do it, we can't tell anyone. So they just take her back to the, to like the aunt's house, and they wanna do like a spell on him to bring him back.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Yeah. Because they like don't, there's like a warning about bringing people back from the dead, but they're like, we don't care, we just bring them back so nobody nobody thinks you're murderers, but I did think about this a little bit about like, you know, it's clearly self defense but then I'm like, oh, the inconvenience of court in another state. because they're not even from that state where they have to, so they're gonna have to travel back to the place where they murdered this guy. It's gonna, yeah, just do a spell and bring him back. It's more convenient to bring him back from the dead than it is to have all these court dates.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Yes, it's less inconvenient. Maybe in 2024, you could probably do it on Zoom, so it's probably a little more convenient. Oh, that's true. But this is mid-90s, so yeah, you probably are doing a lot of travel. So yeah, just bring the fucking guy back from the dead. They do-
Starting point is 00:29:49 Put a whipped cream pentagram on his chest. They put a whipped cream pentagram in him. That's kind of cute. That's kind of fun when the like, I like the stuff in this movie when it's like the mundane, like how stuff kind of meets the witch stuff. That's always really fun. They do a whipped cream pentagram on him.
Starting point is 00:30:05 And before they, so they're about to put some needles in his eyes, they're about to put these needles in his eyes and he wakes up and starts screaming at Nicole Kidman, I want you to be my wife. It's so, Borat stole my wife from this guy. Sasha Baron Cohen, you should be ashamed of yourself. Yeah. Johnny Angelov walked so you could run.
Starting point is 00:30:34 I did not know that his name was Angelov. I thought it was D'Angelo. Oh, I could also be wrong. I wrote down Johnny Angelov, but you know. I mean, that's probably the right one, but I was like D'Angelo is what I thought his be wrong. I wrote down Johnny Angelov. But you know. I mean, that's probably the right one, but I was like D'Angelo is what I thought his name was. Like the R&B star D'Angelo. Yes, I don't know what he did.
Starting point is 00:30:52 D'Angelo would never do anything like this. He would never. Those cum gutters would never hurt anyone. No, of course not. No, a man with cum gutters like that. Could never do anything wrong. No. So then, so No, a man with cum gutters like that. Could never, could never do anything wrong. No. So then, so yeah, so he like pops up
Starting point is 00:31:08 and starts asking her to be his wife, his wife, and they hit him with a pan and bury him. Okay, so then, so they, yeah, so they go from just like, we can't let anybody, we can't let anybody find out we killed him, it's like, ah, fuck it, just bury him in the yard. Like, it's very much. And then they bury him in the backyard,
Starting point is 00:31:28 but then all these roses start very rapidly growing over the grave overnight. Yeah, he's kind of, he has the spell on him already. So it's like, you know, so bad shit's gonna happen. Nicole Kidman then comes to the PTA meeting with Sandra Bullock and the PTA meeting cannot believe she's here. This woman is here and they start whispering
Starting point is 00:31:55 that she has a snake tattoo and one on her boob. Nicole Kidman is not dressed that scandalously. It's one of those, like, and it's like the town is just like cartoonishly evil and they just hate her, but she's like, woo, and starts doing a dance in the PTA meeting and then just sits down and attends the PTA meeting. Yeah. With Sandra Bullock, because also I think we should mention the fabulous store that Sandra Bullock's character like runs. She's got this like apothecary
Starting point is 00:32:24 thing. It's like a, you know, an ocean side town. I don't know. It feels like it could be in upstate something or it could be. I don't know where the main. Yeah, kind of Cape Coddy to me, Cape Coddy. It's pretty. It is pretty, yeah. But yeah, the little store is like everything
Starting point is 00:32:41 in the 90s looked like that little store. I feel like these little boutique stores all looked completely white, like you're at Pottery Barn. And then. It's gotta be Monterey though, right? I don't know. Isn't she in Los Angeles with Angelov? Isn't that where they are going to Hollywood parties?
Starting point is 00:33:00 I thought it was Arizona is what I heard. Oh, maybe it was. So our dude comes from Arizona, our dude later, Aiden Quinn, I thought it was Arizona is what I heard. Oh, maybe it was a... Our dude comes from Arizona, our dude later, Aiden Quinn, but I think there's some sort of weird thing where maybe he's there because Sandra Bullock put a spell on him and they're like, why'd you come from Arizona anyway?
Starting point is 00:33:17 But you never see them get on a plane. They're driving everywhere the whole time. So yeah, it could be Monterey, it's got a little bit of a Big Little Lies feeling to it. Oh, yes. That's exactly right. Very true.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Wouldn't that be funny if it was just Big Little Lies was happening at the same time as this movie? Ooh, with witch stuff. Yeah, well there's two witches. But then Nicole Kidman would have to play two different people in the- That's fine. She could do it, let her do it.
Starting point is 00:33:41 She could do it. Where's Nicole Kidman's clumps? Nicole Kidman do a clump where she plays everyone. Yeah, well it's like, it's the same wig too. So she could just hop back and forth. Yeah, there you go. I love it. Okay, so then we have, so everything's, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:59 So I mean, I love all the stuff. The phone tree. Then we get the phone tree, which comes back later. We get the phone tree at the PTA meeting. This will be instrumental in the stuff. The phone tree. Then we get the phone tree, which comes back later. We get the phone tree at the PTA meeting. This will be instrumental in the climax. Yeah, it's super cute. I will say that like, this movie ping-pongs around so wildly to all this stuff.
Starting point is 00:34:18 And it's like, it was a novel. So you tell us one of those things where they're trying to get in all the stuff from the novel. And they have to start Yeah, I I kind of like When I'm like what's happening in this thing? like that to me is the always the explanation is they're just being so like slavish to the novel and also they have two stars, you know, so like
Starting point is 00:34:40 You know one of these actors can't be the supporting character, they both need like big plots. But I am just like, I just want this to be about Sandra Bullock running this store and finding a new love. I wanted her to be like running the store and about her second act in life, like when it goes to like the murder stuff and the like ghost stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:02 I'm always like, what's this movie? Anyway, you know, anything with the store, anything with her like funny, like employees at the store is really good. You hate the magic, you love the practicality. I'm more of a practical guy, I'm less of a magic guy. Just give me a movie called Practical. And it's about invoicing,
Starting point is 00:35:23 it's about invoicing for a lotion store. That's the movie I wanna watch. Every fall when the leaves turn. That's so funny. That is so you, Jordan. Yeah. It's so you. Give me that movie.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Meanwhile, I wanna follow Nicole Kidman around while she makes bad mistakes. Sure, while she creates zombies. Whoops. Like, yeah yeah exactly. That would be my story. I would definitely be the Nicole Given in this story. After that we get the midnight margarita scene.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Her like aunts are up doing a, you know doing a, like you think they're doing a spell but they're actually doing margaritas and there's this, you know kind of dance around music montage to you put the lime in the coconut. This is very fun. It's in a lot of like if you go on Instagram, if this is in your algorithm, you can be a friend of mine
Starting point is 00:36:13 because if that clip of the of the drinking Margarita's thing that's in my timeline constantly. Oh, yeah, yeah. And an iconic scene, to be sure. So then after this scene, after they all kind of wake up for Midnight Margaritas, that's when we have the cop come in. This is Aiden Quinn.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Is it time for Hunk Watch part two? Yes. It's Hunk Watch. Hunk Watch 2, Secret of the Ooze. He said. Is that what you think? That was the second Ninja Turtle movie, Secret of the Ooze. He said. Is that what you think? That was the second Ninja Turtle movie, Secret of the Ooze.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Oh, okay. Did you think he was talking about calm? Yeah. Ooze can be calm or. I don't know, cause I was like. It can be a mutagen that changes animals into mutants anyway. Sure.
Starting point is 00:37:00 He. A lot of good Oozes out there. Had a lot of crushes. Like I had a crush on him when he was he did Benny in June too Time I ever saw him and I was like, oh, he's so dreamy but his chemistry with Sandra Bullock in this movie is like off the charts. It's really hot. He they Stand so close to each other all the time. I know And he's a cop investigating a murder. I know. And he just always nose to nose with her. His weird behavior is kind of explained,
Starting point is 00:37:29 I guess by the fact that you learn later that Sandra Bullock maybe lured him there with a spell. But every scene I'm like, why is he acting like, he's acting so weird. He's investigating a murder, but he just makes pancakes with their kids. It's insane behavior. It's insane behavior. It's insane behavior.
Starting point is 00:37:48 And then, yeah, I guess we learn later that she summoned the perfect man with a spell. So I'm like, okay. Well, it was a spell that she did as a little girl so that she'd never fall in love. She's like, the most perfect man I'll create. That's the only man I'll really fall in love with. But then her aunts had put a spell on her
Starting point is 00:38:09 to fall in love with produce guy. Yeah, a lot of dueling spells in this. Yeah, which I thought that love spells were like things you can't do in magic. Like in a lot of movies, it's like, you cannot make someone fall in love with you with a spell. Yeah. But they're bringing people back from the dead.
Starting point is 00:38:23 You're not supposed to do that either. So I guess these are just different kinds of witches. Sure. And there's no Satan in their witchcraft. Yeah, there does not seem to be any Satan. Well, she says it, she's like, there is no Satan in the craft. And I was like, well, then who is it then?
Starting point is 00:38:36 Like, what's in there? They're really Christian witches, there's only Christ. It's boring,. Christian witches. So this cop, he's sniffing around the crime, standing super close to Sandra Bullock. Okay, he goes into her store. There's a joke that I need us to talk too much about. I had to rewind this five times. Okay, here's what happens.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Can someone explain this joke to me? An old guy comes into the lotion store. He says something along the lines of, this didn't work, I still have irritation on my scalp. And Sandra Bullock is like, you're not supposed to put it there. And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, she's like, wink, wink,
Starting point is 00:39:32 you're not supposed to put it there. And he's like, oh, and turns around and leaves. She says it in a way like it goes on your dick or it goes up your ass. That seems to be what she's hinting at. But what is this? What did she sell him? I don't remember that he said
Starting point is 00:39:52 it doesn't go on your scalp. Yeah, no, that happens. She says that, like the scalp thing? I thought, okay, when I watched it and sometimes my brain will just do things for me and I don't really make decisions on it. But I thought he was saying, it doesn't work. I put it on my scalp, and she goes,
Starting point is 00:40:13 you don't put it on your scalp, you put it, I think it was supposed to be for erectile dysfunction. I think it was supposed to be something that made your dick hurt. I heard a line, right right, cause that's the, that makes sense. Yeah. But the line about my, I still have irritation on my, anyway.
Starting point is 00:40:31 I didn't know what, I guess I gotta re-listen to that joke, but that's what I thought. Here's my guess. Yeah, Matt, what do you got? I think it said on the back of the bottle, put it on your head, and they put a little winky emoji. But what it was was... Well, okay, well that's irresponsible labeling.
Starting point is 00:40:48 And also we need to know that as the audience. It just... Yeah, anyway, drove me insane. Is that a great joke? No, it seems like there's a lot of Sandra Bullock riffing in this. It seemed like... Anyway, and Sandra Bull like, you know,
Starting point is 00:41:05 Sandra Bullock, a star, one of our fucking movie stars, maybe we don't let everybody riff. Maybe we don't let everybody riff. Yeah, that's true, not everyone can do it. So we get this scene where the cop comes over, starts making pancakes with the kids, while also grilling Sandra Bullock about the murder. They, Nicole Kidman puts a like, poison in the syrup that they're just gonna give him with the kids while also grilling Sandra Bullock about the murder.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Nicole Kidman puts a poison in the syrup that they're just gonna give him because they're gonna eat pancakes together. And they're gonna kill the cop? What the fuck is this? I guess, yeah, I know. They're just like, fuck it. What's the plan, ladies? In for a penny, in for a pound.
Starting point is 00:41:41 But the kids kind of recognize that he and Sandra Bullock are like a thing, so they like throw the syrup in the ocean, this is kind of cute. And then a frog barfs up Johnny Angelov's ring. And then the cop is kind of onto him because the frog barfed up the ring. I know.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Yeah, that's kind of a funny, like funny, cute special effect. And he acted like it was totally natural though, like they're like looking at this frog who's being weird. Yeah. But the fact that they're all fascinated by this frog, I would do that too. If I ever see a lizard or a frog or something,
Starting point is 00:42:19 I get so stoked. I don't know what that's about. It's fun, they're fun to see. I know, Los Angeles has so many lizards. I love that about this place. It's nice, it's always nice to see a lizard. Like when their little tails come off. I love it.
Starting point is 00:42:34 But yeah, so they're staring at this frog and he barfs up a ring and he goes, what are you two playing at? I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's like it's a frog. Yeah, I know and the fact that he's like, I've solved the murder, a frog barfed up a ring. Yeah, how are you gonna go tell the,
Starting point is 00:42:48 I love the idea of him going on CSI Arizona and being like, the frog barfed up a ring. Well, what does that mean? That means they murdered him. That means they're guilty. To who? Who does that mean that to? Yeah, and the fact that he knows
Starting point is 00:43:01 it's Johnny's ring immediately, that's, it's such a weird leap. Well, I think he's possibly been someone who has used that ring to do what he was gonna do. Oh, that's right. So I guess, yeah, I guess we do know that he like brands people with the ring. So maybe they like know they're already on the lookout.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Okay, that makes sense. So Sandra Bullock goes to confess, but they just end up making out. And then we learn that Nicole Kidman. It's so hot. They've got chemistry, they really do. Nicole Kidman, we go back and she's kind of like tied up exorcist style.
Starting point is 00:43:37 She's got the demon in her. Johnny is trying to like get out through her. Nicole Kidman is so fucking great at all the possession stuff in this. Make a Nicole Kidman exorcism movie, she's so good. I wanna see Nicole Kidman possessed by all kinds of demons for the duration of the film. She's like a really remarkable physical actress.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Yeah, she is, she's great. She's so great. Yeah, she's definitely one of my top favorite actresses of all time. She's, and you can see why she's definitely one of my top favorite actresses of all time. And you can see why she's such a meme, right? She's arguably the most gift actor of our generation, G-I-F-D.
Starting point is 00:44:15 And yeah, because she's so expressive. Also the hands when she was clapping at the Oscars. Oh yeah, that too. They were so weird looking. I remember that. Yes, truly one of the greats. So yeah, so she's got a demon and they've got to get it out and we'll talk about the thrilling conclusion of
Starting point is 00:45:03 practical magic. Emily, you wanted to have a word about the house that this takes place in, the mansion. It's the most beautiful house. Like, I've got, I do think we should do a It's House Watch sometime with certain movies because like the Home Alone house, I don't know, everybody's obsessed with that,
Starting point is 00:45:21 but the Practical Magic house was like built from scratch. They like built that house for the movie and then tore it down. Oh wow. Isn't that sad? But it's so gorgeous. It's like my dream house for sure. I feel like that's, I'm definitely of that 90s
Starting point is 00:45:38 kind of era. It's got a little green house where they grow like the witch herbs. That's very fun. Nobody's bedroom was really featured though. It's like their bedroom that we find Nicole Kibben in is two twin beds in an attic, like a dusty attic, and you're like what the fuck bedroom situation is this?
Starting point is 00:45:56 That is weird, and I feel like we see the little girls sleeping in the attic a lot anyway. Yeah, it's like let's get some proper rooms here. Sure, yeah. I know, yeah, beautiful like, let's get some proper rooms here. Sure, yeah. I know, yeah, beautiful antiques everywhere. Yeah, it is, it is like great. It's stunning. But also, on Etsy, there's somebody who 3D prints
Starting point is 00:46:16 replicas of the house. Oh yeah? And I think I'm gonna get one. They're kinda pricey though. They're like a hundred something bucks, but I'm like. Okay. And they're like, you know, like dollhouse size, but I'm like, I want one of those. Yeah, I would love to go into the world
Starting point is 00:46:29 of practical magic merch. I wonder, I'm sure there's all kinds of stuff out there. You can buy a frog that barfs a ring. Honestly, I want a pet so bad right now. I would take a frog that barfs rings like any day. That would be very fun. Have a little frog in a terrarium. You could-
Starting point is 00:46:47 Yeah. Yeah, you could- That would stink. You could pull the, oh, do they smell bad? Yeah, well I mean just water that sits all day usually ends up stinking, you know? You got flies in the fridge, I guess. Oh, they ain't the fridge, they everywhere else.
Starting point is 00:47:02 Tell you that. No, I'm kidding, just roaches. Okay, the frog will eat a roach, right? Yeah, maybe. I bet they will, I bet they will. Okay, so. Do cats eat roaches? Bug has killed a lot of things in her day.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Bug has killed some roaches. That's how she got her name. She loved to kill bugs when she was smaller. Now she doesn't give a shit, too old, but. Ha ha ha ha. And now I need a cat. Yeah, Bugs killed some lizards, yeah. She, you know, quite the killer back in her day.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Good for you, Bug. Yeah, she's a legend. The Nicole Kidman of cats. Yes. Okay, so Nicole Kidman, she's possessed, we gotta get Johnny out of her. So Sandra Bullock uses the phone tree, the phone tree we learned about in the PTA meeting,
Starting point is 00:47:49 to call the women of the neighborhood to come by and help with this seance. Now, this is fucking, this is a fascinating scene that they never show us. This, okay, the music in this movie, it's great. It's on theme, Stevie Nicks, Sheryl Crow, Stevie Nicks featuring Sheryl Crow. It's all great.
Starting point is 00:48:13 It's so oppressive to like the scenes. There's so many montages in this. You have two movie stars, let them act. You don't need to cover them with music all the time. And you have this fascinating thing going on, which is this town that hates witches, has to band together to fight this guy using witchcraft. And we just see her calling them on the phone tree
Starting point is 00:48:38 while this song plays, and then they all just show up. What happened? What did she say? And there's a great metaphor here. We all band together. Like, anyway, there's so many great scenes this movie doesn't show because it's doing a fucking montage. Anyway, rant over, but I was like, they're all here and this is a cool scene.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Anyway, let's just have scenes in your movie. Have a movie have scenes anyway. Boy, I think I, I hear people, I've heard this criticism before about this movie, but I think it's, I have no issues with this movie at all. And I understand, and obviously you were in the pocket for it, and there are many, many wonderful things about this movie which I will enumerate later
Starting point is 00:49:33 in my final review. Also, I love montages. Montages are great, and yeah, they are. Yeah. But I think that they should support the thing. They shouldn't tell the story, you know? They should make you, and you know, like all the music is great and there's so much fun.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Midnight Margarita, that's great, but I don't know. It felt like they were using the music to tell a story that you can use writing and acting for anyway. All right, okay. Rant over, rant over. We have them kind of joining together to do this exorcism. There's kind of a funny scene, everybody needs a broom, a woman brings a dust buster, that's good.
Starting point is 00:50:15 But when they do the broom circle, dust buster woman isn't there. That could be, anyway. She just leaves. They do this like exorcism using all the brooms. They pull Johnny out of Nicole Kidman and they sweep him out of the house. They use the brooms to like sweep his ashes out of the house and they pour this potion onto his grave so he, you know, can't rise again.
Starting point is 00:50:38 And at the end when everything's wrapping up, our boy Aiden Quinn shows up and says that he wants to be with Sandra Bullock and she kind of confesses about the like, she confesses about the like spell. And in a way it's like, hey, I actually created this spell to find like the perfect man that doesn't exist. Two, one blue eye, one green eye, you can flip pancakes. Which not, not asking for much, in my opinion. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:51:07 It is two things that are, I guess the I thing is a little bit uncommon, but it doesn't rule out everyone. But, no, that's true. The I thing is uncommon, but just like, he can ride a horse backwards and flip pancakes. I think we could find that guy. Yeah, that guy exists. If she wanted to find no guy ever, she should have written,
Starting point is 00:51:26 find me a guy who's been to therapy. Yo! What? There we go, man. Hell yeah. So he shows up, he's in, he says like, she kind of confesses about the curse, and he's like, well, I don't believe in curses.
Starting point is 00:51:39 So everything's all good there. And then we go to the like town Halloween party and and and the whole witch family They're dressed as witches. There was a rumor in the town that they can jump off the roof and fly and then They do it and the town is Delighted and that is the end of practical magic. So at the end of that movie I magical magic. So at the end of that movie, I was like, so the curse is gone because this guy doesn't believe in it? So you're saying, but her husband probably didn't know
Starting point is 00:52:14 about it if she was trying to be, so it's like his husband was, her first husband was asking for it because he believed in it? I guess, yeah, I know. Oh, and Matt, we should point out, has put on bunny deely bobs on his head for some reason, so that's going on. Oh, yeah, sorry, I just saw them here,
Starting point is 00:52:34 and I just wanted to get a little bit more sick. You want to pull focus, I get it. Just a little bit more sick. Yeah. They are my daughter's bunny ears. I don't just own them for myself, Jordan. Well hey, Matt, you look sick as in sick as hell, bro. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:51 Because those are fucking awesome Dealey Bobbers. We're gonna rank this movie on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials, but first we're going to talk about the best lines in the movie. I'll go first, my best line is when, in kind of Nicole Kidman and Johnny's, like the first part of their torrid affair, he says something so fucking insanely creepy
Starting point is 00:53:17 that if you didn't think this guy was gonna be the villain, you're positive now. Matt, can you play this? Honey, I just have to go to the bathroom. Let's go together. Jimmy come on. Let's go together. Let's go to the bathroom and I will watch you poop. I am normal. I just want to see the pee pee come out.
Starting point is 00:53:40 I want to know where the pee pee comes from. I do not know. I understand there's a poo poo hole and there is the pussy hole, but where is the pee pee? I must see your shits if you are to become my wife! Emily what do you got as far as best lines go? Fuck. Emily, what do you got as far as best lines go? All right, so when Aiden Quinn is kind of grilling Sandra Bullock on where Devangelo Diablo, I have Dangelo written in the fucking dock. I don't know. Dangelo's a better name for this guy.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Dangelo is what we're gonna call him. He's asking, did you kill him? But the thing is when she created him, well not like summoned him in that spell, there's something about it where she cannot lie to him. Like there's something she just like can't lie. So she has to make up things to kinda, you know, work around the lying.
Starting point is 00:54:46 So she tells the truth, but it's funny. Did you or your sister kill James Angelou? Oh, yeah, a couple of times. I just like that one. That's fun. They're technically because she's telling them to because they zombie them and then they hit him. So exactly. So I liked I don hit him. So. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:55:05 So I liked, I don't know, I just thought that was cute. It is cute. All right. We're going to rank Practical Magic on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials when we come back. Hey guys, Jordan here with a little bonus plug segment before the official plug segment. I got a couple of events coming up. I would love to see y'all out at those events. On November 2nd, I am going to be at the Revenge of Comics Creators Block Party. Revenge of is a really cool comic book store slash pinball arcade here in LA and they have a really really cool free event. It's a huge block party with
Starting point is 00:55:54 comic book signings, panels, podcasts, food, all this great stuff. At 3 p.m. we're going to be doing a live free mini Jordan Jesse Go podcast. That's me and Jesse Thorne. We're going to have special guests Brian Michael Bendis and Elliot Kalin from the Flophouse. And at 4pm I'm going to be signing books. So if you want to get some signed comics, please come out to the Revenge of Comics Creators Block Party on November 2nd. Seriously, so many cool people at this thing.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Patton Oswalt, Brian Posey, Megan Fitzmartin, Cody Ziegler, Josh Gad. So, so, so many folks. Check out the full lineup at RevengeOf.com. Come to see our podcast at 3 and come get some books signed at 4. And on November 9th, I am gonna be at the Berkeley Public Library Comic Con. So many cool folks at this one too. We got TinFam, Maggie Takuta Hall, Brianna Lowenson, just all the best comics folks at the Berkeley Public Library for free at 11 a.m. I'm going to be doing a panel at the second floor mystery room, so please come on out to that. You can get more info at berkeleypubliclibrary.com. I hope to see y'all at that on November to that. You can get more info at BerkeleyPublicLibrary.com. Hope to see y'all at that on November 9th. Okay, back to the show. We're back, it's Free With Ads.
Starting point is 00:57:33 We're gonna rank Practical Magic on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials. Matt, I'll let you go first and Emily, you can bring it home. Okay. I give this a 7. I enjoyed it a lot. It's one of those movies that I only saw a little bit of as a kid and I remember being kind of turned off by the lime and the coconut scene
Starting point is 00:57:55 because I was like, I'm a boy, this is for girls. And then later in life when I- A boy would never put a lime in a coconut. Yeah, no, straight into the mouth, shot a tequila. No, and then later in life when I like, you know, started loving women, I decided, I don't know. You decided to put your lime in a coconut? I decided to put lime in a coconut,
Starting point is 00:58:20 and I was like, you know, it's a really good movie. It lost only one point, And I was like, you know, this is a really good movie. It lost only one point, because I do not understand the attraction to Aiden Quinn. He is the weirdest, like, leading man I've ever seen. He just looks like normal guy, which I'm fine with. Shout out to Norm Norms, we're out here. Not being in Hollywood movies,
Starting point is 00:58:47 but I was just very confused because I was like, he's- That's so interesting. I think he's so handsome. What part? Okay, I think he's very handsome looking. The hair is great. The voice is like very sexy.
Starting point is 00:59:01 All of that's normal. Everything you said is just normal. Normal hair, normal voice. No, I think he's very handsome. I disagree. I think he's a very good looking guy. Yeah. Well, to each their own, but I still give it a strong seven. Also, I loved Aiden Quinn's Western style blazer that he wears in this movie.
Starting point is 00:59:10 Oh yeah, he looks great. They really dress him as like Arizona cop. This man's from Tucson. It's cool. This is the hottest guy in Tucson. So now I'm like on eBay looking for Western style blazer. I'm like, I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer.
Starting point is 00:59:18 I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer. I'm going to go with the Western style blazer.'s from Tucson. This is the hottest guy in Tucson. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:27 So now I'm like on eBay looking for Western style blazer. Do you find anything good? Not that will fit me, but I think that there's one back home that I used to wear that was my dad's and it was like this dark green corduroy blazer that had that kind of Western like divot thing in the shoulder and stuff. I'm gonna see if he's still got it. Jordan, it's your turn.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Yes, so witches and covens, they're powerful metaphors. They can be very meaningful. And we, as a culture, in 2024, we have so much witch shit all the time. Like we have so much witch media and we have so many witch memes and like if you draw strength from the like story of witches and covens, you've got so much stuff that you can ingest. But it wasn't always like that, you know? Like when this came out, the idea of like a positive witch story and a positive coven story
Starting point is 01:00:31 are like, they're probably pretty rare. Like we had the craft, all the willow stuff in Buffy, like but it's like- Focus, focus. Focus, focus. So yeah, it's kind of like a new idea. And it's a kind of a new idea of telling a like witch story where like a witch isn't bad, it equals strength and it's a kind of a new idea of telling a like, witch story where like,
Starting point is 01:00:45 a witch isn't bad, it equals strength, and it's like, which you know, people who society kind of denigrates can all kind of like come together and make this coven and get power from each other. It's a very like, beautiful idea, and I know like, why people are so drawn to it. I think that this movie itself,
Starting point is 01:01:02 watching it for the first time in 2024 is a little janky. I think that there's some like, it feels like kinda cobbled together. It feels like they tried to add too many plots. So it's like, the movie itself kind of like frustrated me in parts, but like I'm gonna say it's a five, but I get it. It's a five, but I totally understand
Starting point is 01:01:21 why this movie like was impactful at the time. And I think they could probably kill the sequel. Not kill it as in not do it, but in making a really great movie because we've kind of identified what people like about this and two of the greatest stars ever to be in movies will be in it. So.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Hell yes. Yeah, fingers crossed for the sequel. Emily, what do you got? I'm giving it an eight. I love this movie. I think that the vibes in this movie are just unmatched. It makes you feel like you're excited for it to be fall. And I don't know.
Starting point is 01:01:55 I think it's very glamorous, too. I love the aesthetic of everything, all the costumes, the hair. I've been trying to get my hair to look like Nicole Kidman from this movie for years. My hair will not grow fast enough because it's so long. They have this gorgeous long hair. I think the romance is really sexy in it. The chemistry between Sandra Bullock and Aiden Quinn is hot. I like the adventure element of things. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:02:22 I have a blast with this movie, but I totally get it. I guess I like when things meander because I tend to meander. So I'm giving it an eight. I'll probably watch it again before Halloween. Like, I love it. Oh, well that was our review of Practical Magic. Before we go, any plugs on anybody?
Starting point is 01:02:46 I'm going to have more witchy phlegm gem stuff out on my Etsy store. I make jewelry and stuff, but everything's very practical magic inspired right now. So if you want to go check that out, it's just phlegm gems on Etsy. It's like my last name, how you spell it. Grab some jewelry, feed it to a frog Yeah
Starting point is 01:03:08 Hey on Saturday, November 2nd, if you're in the LA area I am gonna be at Revenge of Comics and Pinball for their block party event free for everybody 11 to 6 I'll be there signing books and Jesse Thorne and I are gonna do a little mini micro Jordan Jesse go for people there so if you want to see me and Jesse Thorne do a do a wee little version of our podcast and Get a bunch of books signed go to the revenge of Comics creators block party that is Saturday, November 2nd 11 to 6 free for everybody I'll be there but also like so many fucking cool comics, people will be there.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Brian Michael Bendis, Josh Gad's going to be there. Patton Oswalt, Hannah Rose May, all kinds of cool people signing books. Good times, free podcasts. I think there will be a food truck. There's probably going to be a food truck. All right. That concludes. Hello, peen. Tune in next week when our movie will be
Starting point is 01:04:05 the non-horror movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, starring Matthew McConaughey. This is Matt. ["How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"] Maximum fun. A worker-owned network. Play with us

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