Free With Ads - Pride & Prejudice (2005)

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

This week the free movie gods blessed us with a quality romantic period piece, the 2005 Keira Knightley version of Pride and Prejudice, starring Matthew Macfadyen as a british guy!Tune in next week when our movie will be... Showgirls.-----Emily Fleming has a NEW SHOW coming to Mythical Society called "Emily, Have You Seen This?" and you should see this!Matt Lieb and Francesca Fiorentini will be at the Sacramento Punch Line on March 16th! Buy tickets now!Also, Matt and Francesca will be in San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club on May 7th! Buy tickets here! Jordan has a story in an issue of Marvel Comics Spiderman, it's called Web Of Spiderverse which comes out on March 5th and you can pre-order it RIGHT HERE! So do it!Also, Jordan contributed to Godzilla vs LA, a comic book anthology which comes out April 30th and all the proceeds will go to those affected by the LA fires. If you can't figure out how to get the comics, Jordan is offering tech support. Email us [e-mail] for Jordan to help you!Jordan and Emily will be at Wondercon in Anaheim on March 28, 29, and 30th.Jordan will be at Cape and Cowl Comics in Oakland on March 15th!Finally, PLEASE BUY OUR MERCH HERE!

This This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Netflix eight bucks a month to watch Bridgerton when you can go online for free and watch a costume romance that might not have a ton of pussy eating, but makes up for it with a lot of glances and letter writing. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Eveli Fleming. kind of pussy eating, but makes up for it with a lot of glances and letter writing. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Evelyn Fleming. Today's movie is Pride and Prejudice,

an Oscar-nominated Jane Austen adaptation starring Keira Knightley and the guy from Succession who ate his own cum. With us always is super producer Matt hitting us with those dignified arthouse drops. Are you so severe on your own sex? Bruh. Beep beep beep beep.

Ha ha ha ha. Lots of sound effects in that one. I love it, I love it. Before we talk about this movie, which is as of this recording, streaming free with ads, we're gonna talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. Other free stuff.

Emily, you had a video you wanted to share with all of us. Okay, so I have a big crush on Crispin Glover. Hell yeah. I don't know. I don't think that's very surprising to anyone. Nope. The original Marty's dad from Back to the Future who was replaced for the sequels. Yes, because he's a weird guy.

Weird dude. Was he replaced for the sequels. Yes, because he's a weird guy. Weird dude. Wait, was he replaced for the sequels? Yeah. They had a different Marty McFly's dad in Back to the Future 2? Well, there's quite a bit of controversy about that because supposedly there's like a digital replication of his face on somebody. That's fucked up. Or they tried to make it look like him.

I don't know. I know that people in the comments and on Reddit will set the record straight about the history of Back to the Future. They certainly will. Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait. You're all so smart.

You're such smarty smart guys. Now hang on. Hang on. We do love you. We do love you. I do like knowing some things that people put on there. I do. Yes. And I don't want to look this up, so y'all do it knowing some things that people put on there. I do. Yeah, but and I don't want to look this up

So y'all do it. I love that anyway, so I I think he's very cute. He's also in the One of the Charlie's Angels movies, right? You know the ones with Drew Barrymore and stuff and he's very hot and that he's just got a good head of hair on him I guess is what I'm gonna say, But he's also artsy and he seems kinda misunderstood and deep and stuff. Is he the original Rat Boy? No, he is Willard. Well, he was in Willard as well, but also, you know.

His look is he. His look is Rat Boy. Like that hot thing that people like, Rat Boys? I don't know if I'd constitute him as Rat Boy. He might be Mouse Boy. I don't think that women like him as Rat Boyz. He might be Mouse Boyz. I don't think that women like that as much. I don't think he's either one. I'd call him Raptor Man or something.

He's got a little bit of a dinosaur image. He does look like a dinosaur. And he can open doors too. So, Crispin Glover did learn to open doors. Clever girl. Anyway, so. That's interesting. There's some Rat Boyz issues I'd like to bring up

with today's movie. But we, as we say in podcasting, we'll get to it. There's some rat boy issues. I'd like to bring up with today's movie. But okay Anyway, I've always thought that Chris Mcglover had this like aura of mystery and sure and then I saw That he made a song and I don't think he's that Interesting or mysterious. I think he's just a weird little guy. And so let's... The song changed your opinion. The song changed my opinion.

Please play Crispin Glover's Bop. Here it is. Should I read the caption on here? No. Okay. All right. Here we go. We're going in blind. Here it is ground i didn't make a sound then i turned around and i saw a crown

had a frown stood on a mound started barking like a hound so how many more rhymes we got? I found something that was brown. So we know great friends. Oh my god. Late in life, we got sick. So you guys need to understand what's also happening in this music video. It's very, I don't know how to put it, Manson family coded. Like there's people wearing pig masks.

There's a lady in a mask who just threw up. Of course there is a clown. And there is... And he's got, he can, like, I don't know if like, what's that website we always use as writers? Rhyme? Rhyme Zone, yes. Rhyme Zone, yes. Yeah, Rhyme Zone. Dude, we love Rhyme Zone. What's that website we always use as writers rhyme? Zones on yes

I bet that rhymes that was invented just for this moment Yeah, I hear this song was actually the first dance at Tim Burton's wedding. Oh That makes a lot of sense I am kidding. I just thought this I don't know anything about Tim Burton I don't know anything about Tim Burton. I don't know. That sounds right, though. It does sound right. It's too close. It's too close to a possible truth.

It's true. Yeah, it's like it's pretty fucked up. But like I like the first stanza. And then I kind of like move on. You don't need to watch the whole thing. You know, here's here's what I would like to hear from people. And maybe we can maybe we could play some of these on the show. I don't necessarily want to hear your corrections

about things we got wrong. That's right. But I do like this category of music. This like, a celebrity who maybe has never been told no, gets to do a music project. I think we talked about Burt Reynolds weird country album. Oh, yes we did. That shit slapped.

I think it was kind of in this zone of just like, oh, you did some blow and went into the studio and they had to put it out. Some blow and into the studio. Oh, there you go. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Take that, Chris McClough, or we can do it too.

Damn, this is like a rap battle. Yeah. For people with cognitive issues. So if you out there have a favorite celebrity wacko vanity music project, send it to us. Send us a video. Send us a link, free with ads at maximumfun.org. And we will try and find the weirdest

celebrity music vanity project. I love it. Oh man, this should definitely be a theme that we've got going, because. It's amazing. It's a gift that keeps on giving. I didn't realize it till you did the Burt Riddles thing, just how many there are.

Yeah, and obviously these are classic examples, but I'm sure there's like real housewives out there recording music. Oh, I'm sure. Jordan, Jordan. Tom Hanks' wife fancies herself a country artist. The great Rita Wilson? Wow.

Okay. It is woof city. It kind of makes sense. Chet Hanks makes more sense with that context. Yeah. So during the pandemic, there was a live show at the Ryman that they did to benefit the musicians in Nashville, I guess, during COVID. And also they had just lost John Prine, who is John Prine, who is a kind of folk, bluegrass country,

like country rock, you know, musician. But they would cut to people from their homes all across, you know, the world or the nation. And we had a, you know, Rita Wilson singing with a big Nashville hat, those felt hats that girls in Nashville love to wear that are just horrible, and a wood room singing to a audio recording in the background, and it, I've never felt more cringy

in my fucking life. Rita Wilson, who's probably not left Malibu in 20 years. No, no. You're like, maybe COVID's good. I think that Tom Hanks is just so famous that he's like, nobody will ever, like everybody needs their moment in the sun. So he just lets people do whatever they want in his family.

And I think he needs to step in. Yeah, Tom. I think he needs to step in. Chet, no more saying Bumba Clut. You can't keep saying Bumba Clut. If you're out there, send us your favorite weird celebrity vanity music free with ads at maximum fun org and Yeah, we look forward to listening to them on future episodes But for this episode we will be talking about the 2005 Oscar nominated Pride and Prejudice

Emily this was this was your pick and you said you had been I think when we were talking about what movie to watch you Said you had been like watching this constantly on a loop. Yes, this movie is my boyfriend, essentially. Like, it's, I know that romance like this is not realistic. Of course, this also takes place in the Regency period. Sure. Like, back when women's best option for having a nice life was marrying well.

But there is the thing romantic about the idea of being a somewhat wealthy, young white woman in a little dress, like, and going to balls. Going to ball after ball, constant balls. Ball after ball, ball constant balls ball with the ball Yes, sir kid Lord King rock of King of Rockington. Yes, exactly

That is like, you know, it's it's like porn almost it's like these are fantasies These are not but there is the thing, the romance about it. There is some, I don't know. It's also edging. All of these recreated movies are edging and I forget how horny I could get without watching porn. Like how I don't have to watch the-

Just two people standing in the rain scowling at each other, almost kissing like this palpable, like, I don't know, like urgency and need and then not acting on it. Fuck, it's so hot. The dresses and we've got our girl, Beth Dutton, the actress from Yellowstone playing the bitchy, you know, side character to Darcy. the actress from Yellowstone playing the bitchy, you know, side character to Darcy and she's so beautiful and amazing.

Anyway, I watch this whenever I am bummed out or I'm sick or I need to get shit done that I don't wanna do. It's great for cleaning, cause I'm like, I'm just a simple girl living in a cottage and I must do my own cleaning. Oh, if I could only marry well, then I wouldn't have to wash another dish.

Did anybody have to like read this in high school? I think it was assigned, but I never really read what was assigned in high school. So this was a first for me. Oh, okay, yeah. I was coming completely blind. I know these characters only through cultural osmosis. I was like, I know that Mr. Darcy is sullen but hot.

And I know that the sisters are sullen but hot. I didn't really know much about it other than it was very British. And I was like, I like British shit. Let's go. Yeah. I never had to read Jane Austen it was like Jack London was just dogs and wolves yeah and twigs with ice on them and it was like fucking big fucking deal Jack Frost whatever your name is. Who cares what a dog thinks about?

I want to watch the movie with Ethan Hawke. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, exactly. More like Call of the Mild. Eat a dick. Matt, that's mean. I got his ass. Somebody tell Crispin Glover we've got new lyrics coming his way. Well, yeah, let's talk about it. Let's get into Pride and Prejudice.

Pride and Prejudice. You selfish girl. Sorry, I just had to do a sting. Ooh, that's good. I like that one. Is that Judi Dench? Judi Dench. Dame Judi Dench.

Legally required to be in these movies. Legally required. You cannot get the funding for these movies unless Judi Dench has at least two scenes. Yeah. She's there for when you're edging and then you're like, got to come back to reality. You're like, oh, all right. Speak for yourself. But sorry, sorry, pants. Sorry, pants.

You want to you want to fuck that chunk of missing teeth in the side of her mouth? I do. She has just never fixed it. I kind of love that. It'll never happen has just never fixed it. I kinda love that. It'll never happen, it'll never happen. When she's a young woman and stuff, there's like these two teeth from the side of her mouth just never been there, never been there. And I kinda love that she's like, fuck you,

I don't have two teeth on the side of my face, I don't care. I love that too. I'm a dame. I love it too. Does a dame need all her teeth? No, she does not. No. The dame does not need her teeth. I mean, listen, what's more British than being missing some teeth, you know? Sure, and having a title. Having a title.

Oh, it's me, damn yeah, I got one tooth in me mouth. Not me, yeah. I've got to delete all of this. I bet that like outside of America, people who listen to us, I bet we got two British listeners who were like, well, fuck off. They're like, well, fuck off. We're not saying I'll listen to you and I'm cleaning chimneys. Shut up. I'm going to put me fish and chips away. Where are you going to put them? Free with ads at maximum fun.org. Let us know if you're British.

Anyway, so we have our main character, Elizabeth Bennett, played by Keira Knightley. She's walking around with a book. That means she is a modern woman and does not have time for social norms. She's walking around with a book. We know that's what kind of person she is. She lives in a beautiful manor house, but it is kind of run down.

There's a lot of animals around. I guess this is kind of trying to tip us off as to where they are in the class system. They're still wealthy landowning people, but kind of like... They're still part of society. They still get to go to balls and things. Right. They still have part of society. They still get to go to balls and things. Right, they still have servants. Yeah, they have, yeah, there's even a little moment where someone implies that maybe they cook their own food

and it's kind of an insult. They get kind of insulted, because like, whoa, of course we have a staff. Of course we have a staff. Yeah. But it's also like, my favorite thing about their family, it's like very homely. Like they, it's the kind of family that I think we all want.

Like everyone's too busy, like being a family It's very homely, it's the kind of family that I think we all want. Everyone's too busy being a family and enjoying each other to clean or do anything. You're just kinda messy. Sure, and I think that the family relationship in this movie is great. Everybody has a ton of family chemistry. I think that the chemistry between the leads

we'll need to discuss at some point. But like, I feel like the like, you know, the other great love story in this is between the family. There's like, like, Keira Knightley has such great chemistry with like her sisters and her dad, like all the scenes with Donald Sutherland are so great. Oh my god, R.I.P. Donald Sutherland.

Yeah, I know. I forgot that he passed until I saw the Oscars last night and he popped up in the memoriam and I was like, oh my god, I forgot. Yeah, a lot of those this year. I was like, oh, James Earl Jones. Oh my god, I remember that. Yeah, but he was so good in this movie. He is great in this movie.

Amazing. Amazing. Can he do the British accent? No. Does it matter? No. Wait, wait, wait. He's not British? Donald Sutherland? No. wait wait wait he's not British Donald Sutherland yeah don't stop oh he's Kiefer's dad yeah he's Kiefer's dad

yeah no British person would name their child Kiefer I don't know I don't know that sounds kind of British the more it sounds like a name yeah it sounds like a name you could say with an overbite or no teeth. Sounds like something that's cockney rhyming slang for something else. Hey, roll me a keifa. Get me keifas up the apples and pears. Free with ads at maximumfun.org. We are going to get disowned by all of our English listeners. We're going to get British cancelled.

So yeah, so she lives in this kind of run down mansion with Donald Sutherland. It's her dad, and all of her sisters, and the big news. And the dogs, I love all the dogs running around. Great animals, and the big news is, a man is coming to town. Not a man! A single man is coming to town from the North,

and he makes, get this, 5,000 pounds a year. Everyone knows how much money everyone else makes. I love it. They have the information off the dome. Kind of amazing. Not something we do in America. In America, everyone keeps their income a secret. They will die with that information. But I guess back in the day in Britain, everyone was like, oh my 5,000 pounds, I do. Yeah, it's pretty fun to me that right now, everybody, there's a lot of men with microphones,

not the two of you, of course. Not us, not us. But who would like for women to go back to being just wives and things like that. But the thing is, during that time period, you knew how much the men made, and that was why those women would pursue those men. And now it's like, I don't, it doesn't matter,

you're a gold digger. You're a gold digger if I make a lot of money. And it's like, bitch, what do you want from me? I just like. You lie on your taxes. You're definitely gonna lie to me. Yeah, exactly. So this 5,000 pound a month man is coming to town and there's going to be a ball.

A ball. So this is what I realized watching this movie. I don't know what a ball is. It's like a school dance. But why do they throw them and who throws them? Is it just like a rich person showing off? Someone makes a comment about public balls though. So does the government have balls? Why do you, why a ball, why does a ball happen?

Okay, so I know this from Bridgerton because I also love watching Bridgerton. Explain balls. So I think that when there is a house, like a, you know, a house, a family that is out in society to, it is a, it's a good look for your family and it elevates you in society to throw a ball that everyone else in society gets to benefit from. So it's like, you're being a host for a big party, big lavish party.

I guess you do it in your house. Yes. So you have to have a big house. house you do you have to have like a drawing room like a big You know big room. Did they ever have like kickers back then? What's a kicker? You know just like a chiller Sober people learn his name for party It's like you have to go to San Diego more. It's like Chiller, you know? Yeah, somebody puts on a movie, crack open a couple beers. Yeah, exactly. Play Mario Kart, you know, maybe like 10, 15 people. Not all this glancing.

Can I tell you, I picked this movie so that we wouldn't have to talk about any of the bullshit you're talking about right now. So this is my moment and if you say Mario, I will reach my hand through this computer screen and take the father away from your daughter. I just I just think that Mr. Darcy could have actually like, you know, hung a little bit better with Elizabeth. He's a bad hang. He's a bad hang. Oh yeah, he's a bad hang. If he had just been a kicker. 100% a bad hang.

Not chill at all. No. So yeah, so there's a ball. Everybody's there. And in walks the man from the north. They've all been talking about Mr. Bingley. Now, Emily, I'd like to throw this to you. Mr. Bingley, Rat Boy, question mark?

Yes. Okay. Oh, he's a rat boy? 100%. Rat boys are getting hotter and hotter now. Eventually, they're just gonna be hot guys. Well, that's the thing, it's not that... I thought you needed to be a little ratty, you know?

Like a little, because to me he's not was he ready he was hot, too Who mr. Billings Lee or whatever the fuck Bingley Bingley's hot. He's definitely hot The thing is I think it's more about I don't know. I I speak for myself, but I find Prominent noses on men right very attractive I find prominent noses on men to be very attractive. And I think that that's where this comes from. Like, you know, like Adam Driver, we're just like, this guy has got it going on. Yes, he's rat boy completely.

100%, and I think it has to do with the prominent nose. And there's something very sexy about, of like, I don't know, a nose with character. Yeah, it stands out Hell yeah, yeah, so bang least here. Oh, I was just also thinking they kind of announced Recently ish that like Amazon bought James Bond and we're probably gonna have a bunch of new James Bond was at some point The next bonds gonna be a rat boy, right? They're gonna pick some They can't do a rat boy, right? They're gonna pick some little wiener. They can't do a rat boy Bond. They might.

He needs to be hot, hot. That's what I say. Yeah, he's gotta be powerful at least, because James Bond has gotta do a lot of escaping. Most of James Bond is trying to do something and then running away from it. Yeah, you can't have a big ass rat nose if you're trying to escape from gold fingers. Yeah, you could get that chopped off by a car door.

There's going to be some little rat boy who can't fill out a tuxedo going, Help me, Moneypenny. Help me, Q. Hey, Judi Dench. Help me, Judi. Anyway, so, but Mr. Bingley has a friend with him. It's Mr. Darcy of Pemberley and Derbyshire, and this guy makes, get fucking this, 10,000 pounds a year. Everybody knows it.

Everyone knows he makes 10,000 pounds a year. Oh yeah, and he acts like it too. This is Matthew McFadden from Succession. Breakout role. I think he's the tallest person in the movie. Tallest guy. And he's scowling. Oh, he's scowling around at everybody.

This guy. He's an asshole at first. Sure, yeah. And then you get to know him, but yeah. And Elizabeth overhears him talking about her and he calls her barely tolerable. And then we go to some dance and everybody's looking around. Elizabeth's sister has a thing for Bingley.

So they're looking around, the fucking glances are firing off, glancy glance, glance. Everybody's just giving hot horny glances at each other while they do a big synchronized dance. When do people learn the dances? How do you learn the dance for the fall? Well, you know what's so funny is I thought about this. No, no, I think about this a lot is,

and maybe this isn't the same for Girl Scouts all over the country, but in the South, there's a lot of historical, like you kind of learn about the area that you live in when you're in Girl Scouts. They would have like events where you like, I don't know, you like learn how to butter churn and there's quilts and all that shit.

But they teach you how to contra dance and square dance and things like that. So there were like, it's kind of as a girl, I've had to learn weird historical dances. And I feel like that was more commonplace then. Just like piano playing, which is a tradition in my family that I fucking broke. And I'm so sorry to my ancestors,

but like the every girl in this movie was expected to play the piano and draw. And I was like, if it was just drawing, I would have fucking killed it back then. But playing the piano and draw. And I was like, if it was just drawing, I would have fucking killed it back then. But playing the piano, and it's like, this whole playing the piano tradition, you have to know how to dress or dance, play the piano and draw.

I thought that was so funny. Yeah, drawing is a really funny one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's interesting, that they were supposed to be able to draw. I thought that was cool. Draw me a woman with big titties. Yeah.

Um. Okay, Mr. Darcy. So everybody, everybody's dancing, everybody's glancing, and then Elizabeth talks to Mr. Darcy. Remember, she heard him say the shitty thing that he said, and then she claps back with this. Matt, play the clip. What do you recommend to encourage affection?

Dancing Even if one's partner is barely tolerable Slam got his ass god. Hell. Yeah, she's always clapping back with stuff like that So later at home her and her sister oh Her sister is gone girl, right Rosamund Pike So fucking beautiful like oh So they're under the covers giggling. This is like great. They like have such good sister chemistry Is it weird that when people talk under the covers

in movies in the strike period, I'm like, that breath is boot nasty and you know that under those covers, it is rough in there. You know it is. Especially whatever century Britain this is. Exactly, this is what I mean. There's no toothpaste and everyone's just got

mushrooms growing out of their own pits. Don't think about the stink when you're watching this movie Somebody's gotta get under the covers with Judy Dench everyone in this movie stinks This movie just smells so rank. They're wearing nine layers and the swampy British summer They never they only drink ale and mead They drink me the sweats and fucking moiled stomachs Anyway, so So she's you know, she's got a thing for Bingley her sister and then the next day or eight weeks later

I don't know how long it takes these people to get information whatever sometime later a letter arrives from mr. Bingley and She wants he wants her to go over to his house and her mom has this fun little trick where she makes her Go to the house on horseback instead of the carriage so she gets caught in the rain gets sick and has to stay there mom Tricky yeah mom you could have killed your daughter. Yeah, you basically die of being wet in this time. Yeah, exactly. You get the flux or whatever. But it works. She's over at the house, and so she's like staying with everybody. Elizabeth goes to check on her. She's kind of, she's kind of messy and does the, you know,

kind of does those put down some Mr. Darcy. He loves it. We can tell. He loves it. She's not like other girls. This is a very late. She was reading a book in the beginning. She's not like other girls. She doesn't care about norms. She likes to walk and reads. She hates norms, social norms. She doesn't need them. Anyway, we see this thing. All of her other sisters are really excited,

because the troops have arrived. I don't know a lot about English history. I don't know what they are arriving back from. Probably some sort of horrible colonizing. X years war. Just put in whatever number. Yeah, let's not listen. See, this is why, like, we were talking earlier

about Downton Abbey and why I haven't gotten into it. It's because those wars are ones that I know about. Right, those are modern wars. They're like World War I and like the Titanic sinking. I don't wanna know. This one, it's like wars. Okay, just wars. What were the British soldiers doing? We don't know and there This one it's like wars. Okay, just wars. I don't know.

What were the British soldiers doing? We don't know and there's no way to find out. There's no way to find out. It was probably fine, whatever they were doing. Whatever it was, they were fighting France. And the worst. Oh, we hate those guys. The worst was like, you know,

there was like 15 guys who died. Like it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. Nobody died in those wars. No one died. They all played doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. Nobody died in those wars. No one died. They all played chess and then went home. Yeah. They shot slingshots from 300 yards away

and if one guy died, they said, never mind. You can have the land. So there's another ball that happens and then a cousin comes to town, Mr. Collins. He is their rich cousin who is gonna inherit their land because there's no male heir. He's not even rich though, he's just the only male heir. He's a preacher, he's a pastor.

He comes in wearing one of those giant kind of vampire hunting priest hats. I think this is the worst hat in the movie. Yeah, yeah. Oh. The worst hat. So this guy. And that haircut too, woof.

This guy is like the stealth MVP of this movie. Yes. So creepy and so funny. This guy is such a hilarious creep. I really, really love this performance. He's incredible. I don't think he's a creep. Really? I mean, I think he's socially awkward and his eyes are too wide. Sure. But he's trying his best. I think that he's been in seminary, becoming a man of the cloth. And he has spent his time with nose in a book and doesn't really understand women and has avoided them at all costs.

And now he has to take a wife in order to secure the estate that he lives on. And he's like, OK, I'll pick the prettiest one, that one. And then she's like, sorry, she's going to get engaged. She goes, I'll pick the prettiest one, that one. And then she's like, sorry, she's going to get engaged. She goes, I'll take the other one. I'll take the second most prettiest one. Like the other one. And then he's just kind of like, he's doing his fucking best.

And he's a dweeb. He's a dweeb. He just reminds me of a lot of nerdy boys that I went to like school with. We had no friends and we're trying their best. And then you would try to make friends with them and then you went nope I can't do it. I can't cuz then I have to hang out with you in front of other people No, no, I just had to hang out with you and you're not fun to be around and it's like but you deserve to have You just yes, he deserves love. I just

Yeah, he doesn't deserve Kieran Knightley He deserves love. He just, yeah. He doesn't deserve Keira Knightley, let's be honest. Fuck, no. But it's like the most painful, one of the most painful moments is when he's at the ball pursuing Keira Knightley's character. And the poor thing, it's like, and then he wants to talk to Mr. Darcy and he's just being ignored by everyone.

And no one, he's just, you could tell he's nervous. He's trying so hard. This actor has, I think, some of the funniest, he's some of the funniest British eyes I've ever seen. Like he's just able to do this wide-eyed stare. His name is Tom Hollander and he was also in the HBO mini-series John Adams where he played King George

in the moment when John Adams comes to England and is like, we've won the war. And he doesn't say anything, but he has one of the best roles in it where he's just staring and he's mad and his eyes are watering. I was like, who is this genius? He's incredible.

Well, Emily, your empathy for Mr. Collins is admirable. No, I don't know what it is. We should all be so understanding of the weirdos in our lives. Well, I don't think that they should marry the guy or whatever, but it's like, he was just doing his best. I don't know. And he's very honest about it.

He is honest when he's like trying to propose. He's just like. Yes. I'm doing this for a reason because my parish demands I take a wife. Yes, my parish demands it. And because I know a really like fancy lady who will approve and this is the best I can do.

And you're kind of hot. He's upfront, he's not fucking with anybody. He's laying it all out on the table. Yeah, I mean, everything ended up the way it was supposed to for his character and the woman that he married. I think that they're a perfect match, honestly. But like, the funniest line that everyone talks about in this movie is him trying to complement

the boiled potatoes during the scene. Him just trying to find a compliment. And just failing miserably. There's something else I noticed other than the potatoes at dinner. The potatoes did look pretty good. They have something on the table. There's a lot of stuff.

They have huge, huge meals. There is something that has been molded into the shape of a chicken. What is it? Is it chicken? Is it chicken meat that has been molded to look like a whole chicken? Did anybody else notice? Have seen cake molds that are like but the bunt like

Cake it looks like it's pieces of something anyway What was the chicken on the table free with ads at max Maximum Fund. Everybody comment, we want chicken on the table and war stuff. Yeah, no, no, no, no war stuff. That makes it not fun. Okay, don't do any of that. Chicken stuff, chicken stuff. Okay, okay.

So there's another ball we meet, we meet the soldier Mr. Wickham. He'll kind of enter into the plot later. He's got long blonde hair, very attractive man, Wickham. Yes. He tricks all of us into making us think he's the good guy. I know. It's quite quite a twist what happens with Wicom. He's dead the whole time. He's dead. Yes uh-huh uh-huh yes that is it. He's the Wicom man. They give him of bees. Yeah, Nicholas' head in the cage. It's very weird. Give me the bees, yeah. Not the bees.

Not the bees. So, so Mr. Collins the next day comes in and proposes to Elizabeth. He gives her a very like sad flower. He has this one little sad flower. They're so funny because there's flowers all over everything and he finds the saddest, like most most dejected one. I'm telling you, he's doing all over everything. And he finds the saddest, like, most ejected one. I'm telling you, he's doing what he can. No, I appreciate this.

I just feel so bad for him. But Elizabeth turns him down. They go to see Judi Dench, who is Mr. Darcy's aunt. She's really mean to everybody. It's really funny. Great to see Judi Dench. We love her. So then Mr. Darcy kind of, they're all staying at like his house. I guess in this time, if you

were another rich white person, you could just stay at whoever's house anytime. You could just go to their house in your carriage and they had to let you stay there. Well probably because they had fuck tons of rooms too. Oh yeah, yeah, we see Darcy's house and it's fucking gigantic. I can't wait for a time in my life where I have another room. Yeah, ugh.

That's gonna be so cool. I just have one room, y'all. I know, that is kind of part of the fantasy of these movies. It's like, ugh, remember when you had so many rooms? One room and a guy that is, I don't know, likes touching my hand so much that it frustrates him. Oh yeah, sure. Yeah, that is pretty sick.

So Mr. Darcy, he kind of comes in to try to talk to Elizabeth and he just runs out. You know, he's so weird and he has such a hard time talking. And like, it's interesting, because I'm like, oh, this is one of the great romantic characters in fiction, right? Like Mr. Darcy, like Matt, you said, even if you've never read this or seen this movie,

you know who that is. And I'm like, huh, this is such a strange, genuinely uncomfortable guy, giving such a weird performance. And it is like, I don't know how like Jane Austin heads think about this movie, but I wonder if like his weirdness was like off putting. I wonder if like this is supposed to be this

suave character. Yeah, tell us what you think, Emily. Okay, do you remember our second episode ever, he's just not that into you. Yes. I think this is the start of that thing where you're like, oh, he was in love with me. He just didn't know how to say it. And so there's this guy that you have a fantasy about that like, it makes you think that all

men are like this and all men are in love with me but they just can't tell me. And it makes life a little bit more pleasurable when you just think everyone's in love with you and no one can do anything about it. Even if they randomly run out of the room after staring at you for two minutes straight. I mean look at Twilight too. We've done Twilight. This guy wanted to barf when he smelt the bitch. So this guy is basically that. This is just an archetype that has been going on probably since this fucking book. Sure, yeah. This is the beginning of it.

But it's also like, I think that, and I don't want to generalize, but I think this movie might be about men on the spectrum. I was thinking this too. This is exactly what I was thinking, especially considering the, what is his name name Hickam or whatever? Wickham sorry, we said we did the wicker man joke. You can do this I don't care their names. They're all British. Oh, who's wickle me? Oh, it's Billingsley. Their names are teapot

Yeah They're all divey Beckham, okay? So. Oh my god. Free with ads at maximumfund.org. You have to know if you're British. Wickham's character, you know, you're tricked into thinking,

because the beef that he and Mr. Darcy have, you're tricked into thinking that Mr. Darcy really is an asshole. Like this guy. Because on the surface, he seems like one. Yeah, he seems like one. And meanwhile, you know, Wickham's, you know, says like, oh, he only hates me because his dad loved me more than he loved his own son, Mr. Darcy. And later, as you know, the movie goes on, you realize who's a villain and who's not,

you do kind of realize that it's like, oh, this is about, you know, like, yeah, how not having the social skills to properly explain yourself can get you into trouble. Meanwhile, people with those social skills can con you really easily. And I was like, I love this. This is kind of great. It's like all of these Regency era like type things,

like I think Bridgerton's very similar. It's all about how you can't say certain things and like, you know, it's in like that's improper to say this or you can't be in this room with this woman alone and all this kind of stuff. So it's like a perfect recipe for miscommunication. Yes. And that is pretty much all of these movies where people say, they argue about the same, like, you, do you like dancing? No, I do not. Well, you should like dancing when a lady asks you to dance. I don't like ladies. You're just like, what? Like, it's just this argument.

You're not handsome enough for me. If only you were more handsome, then I would give my hand. Your hand is dirty, sir. Wash your hand and then kiss my hand. It's just like, what the fuck are we talking about? You gotta know all the rules, and if you don't know the rules, then you're gonna look like an asshole, but you may have a heart of gold, like Mr. Darcy. Well, Mr. Darcy, he's looking like an asshole.

Will he redeem himself? We'll find out when we come back. We're back, it's Free With Ads. We're going to talk about the shocking romantic conclusion to Pride and Prejudice. So there's a lot of stuff going on. Mr. Bingley has been kind of like, you know, flirting with Elizabeth's sister and he kind of just disappears randomly. And then her younger sister disappears with Wickham and and they can't find her, very scandalous, the whole neighborhood.

Played by Jenna Malone. That's right. Yeah, a lot of great actors in this, a lot of great people just kind of starting out who we'll see later in other things. It's a real who's who, and everybody is very good in this movie. So these little scandals are happening,

and then Mr. Darcy comes back and it turns out he has been behind the scenes like fucking fixing all of this shit. He like, he gets Bingley, he makes Bingley come back and propose to the sister, to Jane. The older, prettier Rosamund Pike character. But I do think that we should say like we love the you know the family the main family the Bennetts because they are it's very lovely the

fam the familiar you know relationships but they are kind of loud and like jovial and fun, and some people in society find that to be inappropriate. And I love the mom especially. Yeah, we haven't talked about her yet, but she's great. She's so funny and I have a soft spot. She's very extra, she's too much, she's always. She's the best kind of lady ever. She's the best life of the party kind of lady. But a little bit of a boozer, that's my kind of gal.

100%. But also she reminds me, I have a big soft spot for this movie because of my grandmother, my Mimi, who is that lady. She just is that lady, she's big, larger than life, too much, and I've, you know, she's that family member that everyone's like, can you please keep it down or whatever. But I love that her dad, Mr. Sutherland,

just lets his wife be this big personality. He just lets his girls be who they wanna be and doesn't stop them. He's such a good dad. I did spend most of this. Well, there's a couple of moments where you're like, come on dude, you could probably step up and care a little bit more.

But. I like his aloofness. He's hot too in a Mr. Darcy kind of way. This is kind of a girl dad movie. Yeah, it is. It is a girl dad movie. He's so sweet, but I just, I really loved the parents of this,

but I guess the display of jovial, like, you know, all of that nature is something that made Darcy kind of try to persuade Mr. Bingley to not propose to Jane, Rosamund Pike, and he's fixing it. He's fixing that. He's fixing it. And so he also, like, we kind of learned this thing about Wickham.

There's this subplot about Wickham that's like, kind of complicated. He... The most boring part of the whole fucking story. Yeah, it's tough and we kind of get it in these big info dumps. So he like was supposed to get some land or something from Darcy's dad

and then Darcy's dad gave it to him but then he gambled it away. So I think Wickham is kind of like a piece of shit but Darcy goes in and pays for their wedding. He pays for the wedding of him and the younger sister. And so... To make it not look like a scandal. To make it not look like a scandal.

Because he absconded with her, essentially. And then convinces an uncle to also give them, I guess, a dowry or something like that. So he just kind of comes in and just explains to Elizabeth how he's made all this stuff right. He says, you have bewitched me, body and soul. And yeah, and then they kiss and we kind of get, then they get married. And then- Which is the closest we get to this fucking in the movie. Yeah, that's the closest.

Sure. Honestly, the whole floor was wet when I was done with this movie. The whole thing was like when I was done with this movie. The whole thing was fucking in the movie to me because I don't know, it's just a very sexy movie to me. But the scene where he proposes to her but he has to go ask permission from Elizabeth's father, Donald Sutherland.

And then she has to go in and tell him that, they're like, I thought you fucking hated this guy. And she's like, I don't, he's all right. He's all right. But then she tells her go in and tell him that you know, they're like I thought you fucking hated this guy I don't he's all right She tells her dad all the nice things Yeah doing and he like cries and so he's like he's just like I didn't think anyone would ever deserve you and all the stuff I'm like Will I ever have this moment in my life? I really want this moment. I don't care if I get divorced later. I just want one.

One marriage. I don't give a fuck if it ends. I just wanna have this feeling. I'm crying right now. I'm really crying. You'll get it. I was. No I won't.

I'm old, man. I'm old as fuck. No you're not. My dad's like getting up there too. Well just, that's when you just. I'm gonna die, never have gotten married. None of us are gonna die. So sad.

I was kind of constantly looking for a way into the romance here, because it is just like, I mean, it's kind of reminded me of the Nicholas Cage stuff in Valley Girl, right? It's like he's just a mean to her, but then she loves him anyway. And I'm like, what is this?

Like, you know, I get that they have like chemistry and I'm like, and you know, this is from a different time. What is this? And I'm like, oh, I think this movie is about how the sexiest thing in the world is if someone apologizes. It's about the power of an apology. And like making it right.

I'm like, oh, he is weird. Matt, you're totally right. As like, if, you know, in modern times, maybe this is a guy with some like social, you know, differences, right? And he fucking realizes it and he fixes it. It's a movie about apologizing. It's a story about apologizing, I think.

That's a really, that's- That's pretty insightful. Yeah. It's a story about apologizing, I think. That's a really, that's so amazing. I guess this is like, that is the thing that's, I'm like, oh, okay, I kind of get this relationship a little bit more now. Anyway. But that does show you why he's so sexy to women. Sure, yeah. That not only did he apologize,

he went out of his way. Made it right. To make it right and help other people and stuff like that Sure, does he have ten thousand pounds a year to do this? I guess that's very true. That's really true Jordan That's very true, but he's also a miserable guy who doesn't want to do shit. He doesn't even want to dance He's just like he just wants hot hot rich guys What's the right poet I think he likes on it or some shit? Yeah, you know he likes thatnets or some shit. Oh yeah, I think he does like sonnets.

He likes that. I don't know, I can't really tell you anything he likes other than being a little bitch. He likes to hang on in quiet desperation. What's wrong with that? Yes. Although, I will say this, the hand thing, which everybody, we watched clips of it quite a bit.

Oh yeah. He helps Elizabeth into the carriage, and then he does this like tension thing with his hand. There's like, cause he just touched her hand. I think that counts for a fingering story. Cause I felt fingered. I felt fingered during that. The fingers of the window to the soul.

Yeah, the window to my pussy. I'm awake. Scandalized, scandalized. So, yeah, we're going to talk about what we think of this movie overall. But first, we've got to talk about the hunks. It's time for Hunk Watch. Oh, it's Hunk Watch. You know, a rat boy, he may be, but I am a Bingley fan.

I think he's he's a hunk and he has kind of a red mohawk He's kind of got a very modern mohawk II red hairstyle So yeah, he definitely looks like he you know played bass in my chemical romance for one album But it's a cool look I like him he's a rat but he's a rat boy I can get behind Tell him any thoughts will let Emily I'm sure you have an essay prepared for this so Mine is going to be behind. Matt, any thoughts? We'll let Emily, I'm sure you have an essay prepared for this. Oh, God. So, Matt, let's... Mine is going to be, you know, whatever, Donald Sutherland, whatever his character's name

is. The dad. The dad. He's my hunk watch only because that, truly that scene where he and Keira Knightley are talking about Mr. Darcy and he's like, you know, trying to understand when she's explaining what makes him so wonderful and he realizes, wow, you really are in love with him. I burst into tears. I was like, Oh, this is really touching.

Cause like he's so happy to see his daughter in love. And I was like, this is, what a hunk. That's what I said. I know. What a hunk. Oh my god, I'm crying all over again. Just remembering that scene is emotional. It is.

It's so sweet. Emily, thoughts on hunks? I mean, I agree with both of you on this, but it's going to be Darcy's hand. Ooh, yes, just the hand alone. I have to, like, I'm crying from that. Oh. It is a beautiful scene.

It really is so good. I mean, they show that clip of the father-daughter scene in a lot of stuff when people talk about this movie. But yeah, I mean, Darcy is a fucking hunk in this movie. I don't know, I love his face a lot, that actor. There's a super cut on YouTube called 10 Minutes Straight of Darcy Pining. It has like two billion views.

Text it to me, text it to me now, text it to me now. Show it to me please. Show it to me now. Show it to me, please. Show it to me, Rachel. Show it to me. Oh, show me. Show me, Rachel. Please. Rachel. Oh, that's from a TikTok.

It is. So, yeah, wonderful. Well, we are going to talk about what we thought of this movie overall when we come back. We're back. It's Free With Ads. We're going to talk about what we thought of Pride and Prejudice. Matt, as the one who has never interacted with the story, other than kind of knowing it from pop culture, why don't you go first?

I'm going to have to give this an eight. This was one of the top movies for me. It was really, really good, enjoyable all the way through. Didn't really want it to end, which is how I know I like something. I know. Yeah, just because like I just, every time, you know, they would get pulled further apart, Darcy and Elizabeth, I was like, oh good, that's gonna prolong the movie. And that's, yeah, fantastic movie, love it.

Yeah, I'm going eight too. I think we haven't really talked about it, but Keira Knightley is so good in this. She's got an Oscar nomination for it. She's like 20 when this is being filmed. Wow, really, she was 20? Yeah, and she makes all the like, old timey dialogue sound supernatural.

Yes. Not like it's a ghost, but like, you know, she's saying it naturally, like it's how she speaks. Right. Yeah, and she's terrific and she nails the humor. There's those like Jane Austen one-liners and she's very good with them. Yeah, she like, has like tons of chemistry with everybody good with them. Yeah, she like has like tons of chemistry

with everybody in the movie. Yeah, it's interesting because I feel like we had a period in movies where we were trying to cram her into these blockbusters. And it's like, she's good in some of those, like she's totally good in those, but like this is her lane. Like this is so her lane.

Yeah, so I think, you know, we were kind of looking at her IMDB not too long ago, and like, I think she's been in like kind of prestigey BBC stuff since then. I'm like, ooh, I'm gonna look at some of these modern, like, BBC mysteries or whatever that Keira Knightley's in, because I bet she's awesome in them. Because yeah, she's really, really great in this movie.

As are many, many actors. Yeah, it's terrific. It's such a great one of these, and like, you might be thrown a little bit terrific. It's such a great one of these and like you might be thrown a little bit because it is a it's a pretty modern one of these that's not commenting on them. Like Bridgerton, right? Like Bridgerton's just a big comment on these, right? And it's interesting that it's just down the middle and it's not trying to like, and you know, like the I think a little bit about the the Little Women adaptation that came out a couple years ago, and that is kind of like pulling. Smooth.

Oh, I really like it. I'm a big fan of that movie, but it is like pulling apart the story a little bit, right, and saying like. Yeah, I think the story was good as it was, but that's, you know. Yeah, we can agree or disagree on the modern literal name. I hated it!

Okay, we'll talk about it later. Sure, I think, you know, I think the 90s. I thought they weren't little enough. Should have been littler. More little. So you watch this movie and you're like, oh, where's the commentary? Like it's not doing that.

It's just telling the story, but it tells it great. It's, yeah, I think it's a terrific movie, eight. Emily, what do you think? It's a tippy 10 for me. I love this movie. I will probably watch it again in a week. I just, I love it being on. There's just something about,

A, there's so much nature in this movie too. I love how beautiful it is to look at everything and I like how there's mud all the time. I don't know. I like- A lot of great mud. A lot of great mud. A lot of great mud. It's just very pastoral and like, I don't know.

It's very romantic and I don't know. It also makes me kind of miss my family. Oh, fuck, now I'm gonna cry again. Why is it doing this? Oh. It makes me miss my grandmother and my sister and all that stuff. And I just think it's a fun.

Are they in England? No. OK. But we probably came from that shit. I don't know. We're from Scotland is where it is. Yeah. But I'm sure a lot of good mud in Scotland, a lot of good mud wherever. But I don't know. It just I think that every single actor was excellent. I think the costumes are beautiful. I think it's just, I think the music is really cool.

I just love every minute of it. And there was, and I feel the same way, Matt, where it's like, it's coming to an end and I'm like, I don't want it to be over. And then Judi Dent shows up and is like, don't marry my, when I'm like, sweet, another wrench thrown into the situation and it's gonna keep going. More movie.

More movie. And so it's, I wish that, I wish there was more, I sometimes watch all the credits hoping that there's a post-credit scene like it's a fucking Marvel franchise. Yeah. And it's not. That's when Joe March comes in.

I also like to walk and read. I'm also a walking, reading woman who doesn't like norms. Exactly, but now I'm just gonna have to binge watch Bridgerton again. Worth it. I can't get enough, I can't get enough. So I'm so glad we watched this. I love it so much. And I'm glad that

did your wife watch it with you, Matt? We watched just the ending. We watched the scene with Donald Sutherland together and we both teared up. It was very cute. Okay, cool. Well, yeah. So that's I'm glad we got to watch it. It's so good. Yeah, that's Pride and Prejudice, we like it a lot. Hey, let's do a little bit of plugin. Yay! If you are listening to this on the week it comes out, I will be at Cape and Cowell Comics in Oakland,

signing books with the great Derek Kirk Kim. We're gonna be signing comics there at Cape and Cowell in Oakland, 1 to 3 p.m. Please do come to see us and If you are attending wonder con in Anaheim on the 28th 29th and 30th of March I will be there all three days doing some pretty cool stuff not announced yet So keep an eye on your wonder con schedule for me doing things and also signing books. Matt, got anything? Yes.

Once again, if you are listening to this and live in the Sacramento area, then come out to the Sacramento Punchline. March 16th, that is a Sunday, and I will be performing with my wife, Francesca, if you're on TV. Not together, we're not a duo act, but we're co-headlines. You're going to do Who's On first. Oh, for sure. Everybody's favorite. Yeah.

And yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun, so please check out the show notes for tickets to that, or you can see us in San Francisco if you want to wait uh till May we will be uh in San Francisco May 6th at uh Cobb's Comedy Club go headlining there so come out Emily you want to take it home? You want to know something interesting Jordan? I too will be at WonderCon. Oh my gosh! I cannot tell you why and I cannot tell you what the date is but I will be at WonderCon. Oh my gosh. I cannot tell you why. Oh. And I cannot tell you what the date is, but I will be making an appearance. Wow. So, yee.

If you're in the Southern California area, it sounds like you gotta get your ass to WonderCon if you're listening to this. Or Sacramento. Or Sacramento. Two wonderful places. Both in Southern California. And come to either of them dressed as Sailor Moon.

Yes, please do. Hell yeah. Okay, so WonderCon at some point. Anything else? I'm trying to set you up to talk about the show. Okay, well I have talked about this before, but I would love to talk about it again, and I will continue to talk about it forever, potentially.

I have my own show on Mythical Society, which is a wonderful platform for big fans of Good Mythical Morning and Mythical Entertainment in general. I have a show called Emily Have You Seen This? It is an internet clip show where I talk about all the fun things that I find online, which I usually put in my stories on Instagram

and annoy Matt and Jordan with. No, no. But no, no, no, I'm kidding. No. And I'm really proud that I get to do it. And the first episode has come out. If you go to mythicalsociety.com, you can sign up to be a member.

My show is available on second and third degree memberships. So I would really love it if you would go support it. All right, yeah. And if you, I don't know if this is how their algorithm works, but apparently you should, if you sign up for something and the first thing you watch is Emily's show, they know that that's the show you wanted to see the most.

So if you haven't signed up for Mythical Society, sign it up and click on Emily's thing before you click on the other things. A lot of good stuff right there. Hey, and a little bit of some cool stuff happening for this show and all the shows on Maximum Fun. MaximumFun.org's pledge drive is starting next week. So that is when everybody comes together,

does a bunch of cool stuff, does a bunch of cool bonus stuff to try and get folks to join MaximumFun as members. It's how this network keeps going, MaximumFun.org slash join. There's gonna be a lot of cool pledge drive gifts. There's gonna be a lot of cool bonus drive gifts. There's going to be a lot of cool bonus content. Everyone in the network is doing it.

You're talking my brother, my brother and me. We're talking Jordan, Jesse Goh. We're talking Joe Rogan Experience. Everyone who's on the network. We're talking The Daily with Michael Barbaro. We're talking The Daily with Michael Barbaro. We're talking Calm Town. God damn it. The Adam Friedlich.

Yes. These are all podcasts. Anyway, MaximumFun.org. We're going to be doing a lot of cool bonus stuff, so stay tuned for that. And because it's the pledge drive, we're gonna be kicking out some extra cool fucking episodes from y'all, including next week's episode, where we will be reviewing,

because we know you fucking freaks want it so fucking bad. You little freaks. You piss-pakes. And we weren't gonna give it to ya, but I guess we have to. So because you're so fucking gross, we're gonna do fucking

Showgirls next week on Free With Ad! Showgirls! Alright! Fucking buckle up, baby! Free With Ad! Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows.

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