Free With Ads - Road House (1989)

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

It's the MaxFun Drive and we are celebrating with one of the most badass movies ever made, the Patrick Swayze dude flick Road House (1989). Tune in next week when our movie will be... The NeverEnding Story. ----- Please help the show joining Maximum Fun! Here's our very own link! https://maximumfun.org/joinfreewithads   Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/joinfreewithads

This is free with ads, the podcast that asked the question, why pay Amazon 15 bucks a month for a bad roadhouse remake when you can go to maximum fun.org slash join and give that money to a worker-owned podcast co-op and just listen to three idiots describe the original instead. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Because it's Max Fun Drive, we're reviewing the best movie in the world if you like Patrick Swayze's butt and hate pool cues, roadhouse. With us as always. Super producer, The He Freak, Matt Lieb, hitting this with those throat ripping drops. Prepare to die. You are such an asshole.

I love that line. You are such an asshole. Hell yeah. Got him. Perhaps the most quotable movie in the history of movies. I can't wait to talk about Roadhouse. It feels like the podcast. If quotes are kicks, I don't know.

Yeah. It's got quotes. It's got kicks. They're kicking me in the face with quotes. It's beautiful. Yeah. Here we are. We've been building to this for, you know, a little more than 100 episodes.

Our whole lives even. Oh, yes. A special, special movie for a special special time. It's the Max Fun Drive. Yeah. We love it. It's the time of year when we try and get folks to go to maximum fun.org slash join and join the network. That's what keeps this show coming.

That's what keeps all the shows on the network coming. We're going to talk about a bunch of fun stuff. you can get if you join. We're going to talk about our new bonus content show, Big Tees. You're going to love it. And some gifts you can get when you join up. All very exciting. But maybe most exciting,

or at least exciting to a certain kind of sicko listening to this show. We are going to announce a special our show-only prize pack that includes not only a Buffalo Wild Wings gift card, not only a signed poster, but Emily, what does the winner get? You get a bra cup that you could wear as a hat Or just keep it in your coat pocket as a hanky, a little pocket square. Or just sniff it.

Emily, is this just a random bra cup from a random person? No, it's mine. It's from my tits alone. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. No one else has worn it. Sometimes my friends wear my bras on their heads to like laugh about it and go, wow, these are so big. Because it covers their whole head.

talking about me and I still think it's a funny bit every time I do it. It's a classic bit. We should do a photo where I make you guys wear one bra cup on your heads just to prove this point. I wear it to synagogue every Friday. You know, you really could wear these like a gamica. Except for it's like a hat. Oh yeah. I don't think it's even small enough. But we'll see. Only one can find out. Only one of you. Only one can find out. One lucky man or woman, but let's be honest, man. Until the next Max Fun Drive, where I will have the other one. Oh, okay.

Well, we're getting ahead of ourselves here. For now, go to maximumfund.org slash join, and we'll talk more about it later. Of course, we want to talk about Roadhouse. We're champing at the bit. We're chomping at the bit to talk about this thing. But first, we want to talk about a question we got from a listener in a segment we call we got mail You've got mail

This question is from Tell Tale Reaper They write What is your favorite Mental Health gift You give yourself You're always so positive But this world

Can be a sucky place Thank you for that question Tail Tail Reaper I will go first So I was actually Kind of having a day You know Having a day

Everything's going wrong Every dog has his day Every dog I'm listening I'm the dog here I was having the day day. Woof,

woof, you know. And I, and I'm like, okay, and I'm like, okay, and got to watch the free with ads movie.

Oh my God. It's Roadhouse. Thank you, God. I know. What a gift we gave ourselves. I just,

you know, I just tried to, tried to put all the distractions away and let Roadhouse wash over me. Yes. So I think there are certain movies and shows

that just kind of like put you in the zone. This is one of them for me. And, hey, I'll get a little sincere here. I'm like, hey, and I get to talk about it with my two buddies. Two of the funniest people I know.

I'm very lucky that this is part of my job to get to gab with you guys. So I think, you know, the world. Same here. Very lucky. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think we were very lucky to be doing the show and I'm lucky to have such nice listeners. And I think all of those things help me, help me with my mental health.

Y'all, does anything spring to mind as far as like when you're having a day? what do you do? Do you want me to go next, Matt? I'll go. No, yeah, you go ahead. Yeah. Honestly, you're absolutely right, Jordan, about watching the movie for the podcast. It's become kind of like a ritual that's very pleasurable.

Yeah, totally. And it's like, it's not like, oh, I have to watch the movie. It's I get to watch a movie for the podcast. Sometimes it's I have to watch a movie. Well, but also sometimes it's still funny. I would say that one out of every five, yes, but that's true. Listen, I would say that one out of every two Ouija board movies. It's not a.

ton of fun to watch. But, totally, totally. Half of them are fun to watch. Yeah, that's a pretty good ratio. Pretty good ratio.

Yeah. But whenever I'm feeling down, I always forget that working out helps because I, it's so annoying to go do it. Like, just a walk is really good. But afterwards, I'm like,

damn, I should really do this more often. I feel a lot better. But the other thing is if I'm spiraling and really upset about something, if I just go to bed. Yeah, that helps too. The next morning,

it's like fucking no big deal dog like it's like maybe it is a big deal but it's less like overwhelming I think like take a nap or go to bed if you're freaking out about it if you can you know but like just wait till the next day just wait till the next day it is amazing how like the like the mental health advice you give people like like obviously there's you know there's therapy there's meds all of these things help people oh yeah oh yeah I do all those too but like also take a nap Right, right, right, right. But some of it is just like the shit you would say to a little kid. It's like, are you hungry?

Are you sleepy? 100%. Are you thirsty? Are you thirsty? Are you dehydrated? Is there? Yeah. No, it's true.

But I always hated like, because I, you know, I threw a lot of tantrums as a kid. I had a hard time regulating my emotions. I would have like huge fits in school, which we later found out, maybe a little bit of like the symptoms of ADHD, emotional regulation. Yes, yes. So I remember like the teacher would come to the bathroom. and get like a paper towel, put cold water on it, and hold it on my face and be like, let's take a deep breath and count to tent. I fucking hated that shit.

Any time people made me count to ten, I was like, I know how to fucking count. Fuck you. Like, it made me so crazy. Well, like, you see it at Empire Records, actually. They like when Tyler is breaking out. I just want to let you know. No, they just get, they make it a cold wet paper towel and like, put it on your face. And then they pour it and they say where it's bin Laden.

Well, it's like, they're talking. They say that, you know, if you're really sad, sometimes you fill up a bowl with ice water and put your face in it. Oh, I do that for my exima. That's very helpful. It, like, shocks the system, which I think that they then made it like, what is it, the ice bath things, which I think is insane and, like, witch doctor shit. But I think the whole, if you're really, like, sad, putting your face in, like, a bowl of

ice water, it really does, like, jumpstart your system to go, whew, get the fuck over it. I love that. Ice, Yeah, that's pretty good. And puffiness be gone. Yeah. Mad, you got anything? This is going to sound like a fancy boy thing to do.

Ooh, ice bath. No, it's a little foie gras. Yeah, a little bit foie gras. A bit of patte on a quarter cracker. Yes. I torture the duck myself. No, I, I, if I am feeling stressed, and it's usually like, stress for me isn't, momentary thing. It's

like a week long, you know, like, I'll have like a moment of stress and I know I'm going to be stressed. I will schedule myself a little spa day at Burke Williams. What's Burke Williams? I don't know about this. Burke Williams is just like a place where you can get a massage where you can, you know,

it's a spa so they have the hot tub or they have the cold plunge or they have the schvitz. It's like got the baths and stuff. Yeah. And I'll schedule myself like a little, you know, an hour-long massage. It's cost like $120 bucks. So it's like not cheap. Well, listen. But every once in a while. That's worth it. I would assume. Where is that place? Because I want to go. There's one in Pasadena. There's one in West Hollywood. There's, they're kind of all over

the place. It's a chain. Who is this mysterious Burke Williams? Yeah, who is this Burke Williams? Sounds sexy. The most relaxed man in the world. Yeah, yeah. It's me, Burke. He's just always. always wearing Birkenstocks. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Those are coming back. Birkenstock.

Bergenstock, William. Hell yeah. No, I want to go. That sounds great. It's really nice. It's really nice, and it's like relaxing, and it's away from everything.

And, you know, it's a place where you don't, I mean, you can have your phone, I guess, but no one really has their phone, but why? So you just kind of chill. And it's nice. And yeah, you're going to see some old balls. But that's not, that's not so bad. You know, you'll see old titties.

Yeah, I always like the old titties at the gym. It's like the great equalizer because I can look at my future and kind of go, that's what it's going to look like. Yeah, all right. Yeah, if you're lucky. And then I can scare the younger people as well. Yeah. And be like, look into my eye nipples.

Try to find them. One's winking. Yeah. But I did, I got one of those scalp treatments, the scout massages. Yes. I had raging anxiety the entire time. It didn't do it for me, y'all. What is the scalp treatment?

So they like, you know, wash your hair for an hour. Okay. Wow. Well, they do a little picture of your scalp, like with this little tiny camera. And so they see how much build up. Yeah, they don't need to do that. It's the worst part of it. They start off by telling you how oily your scalp is as if they're pretending it's the,

pretending there's a medical reason for why they're doing this one. Really what it is is too. Oh, no. It's so oil. Oh, oily. Just play with my hair, please. They're just playing with your hair. It is so nice.

Yeah, this one, for some reason, I was stressed that day or something, but you have to lay there and then they gave me like a face mask, but it was like heated, like, you know, those hand pads that you put in your gloves and the, they put that on my fucking eyes. I was like, nope, not what I want. And then. I need to get one of those. But they also do this thing where they'll really scrape your scalp to get all the dead skin off and stuff.

But the best part was when she's, She blow-dried it for me and stuff and just played with it. I was like, all right. Yeah, that's really what you're there for. That's what you're there for. Yeah. Something that is that I think others find relaxing that I freak out during is, Matt, have you ever had the, like, straight razor shave?

Like, you know. No. Man, that thing, I think people like it. They say it's, I think people think it's luxurious. But when, like, the fucking barber with neck tattoos breaks out the straight razor and wants to give you the old time dead. wood shave. Yeah.

I'm just like how long, this guy has been like, this guy might have been like up for days. Right. I don't want to be the guy who's there when he snaps, right? Sure. Or, you know, hey,

we live in LA. Could be a fucking earthquake while I'm at that place. It's too sharp a knife too close to my body. I think that like guys should have like a girly like spa situation like, you know, like, okay, the girl who does my hair, Caitlin,

who I think you've met Jordan and Matt, you'd love her. She's a barber. She's like studied to be a barber. So if you ever need. a nice girl in Venice Beach who likes to party. Yeah. And it's also a good barber.

Come hang out with Caitlin. I'm married, but cool. She and I are going to Florida again this year. We're planning the trip. Very excited. Hot damn. All right. Well, there's some self-care tips for you.

Yeah. Okay. We got a couple things to do. We got to talk about Roadhouse. We got to talk about the Max Fun Drive. But first, before we talk about Roadhouse, we should let you know. It features sexual assault and partner violence.

So if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, we're going to play some music and give you a chance to find another episode. Oh, we're back. It's free with ads. We are going to talk about Roadhouse very, very soon. But first, hey, what's this Max Fun Drive thing I've been hearing so much about? What is it? Well, Matt, let me tell you.

Huh? The network that makes this show possible, maximum fund.org. It is not a giant tech company. It is not a company that makes other stuff. It's not a company that pays hundreds of millions of dollars in order to put Joe Rogan on the air. No, yeah.

Max Fund has never given any money to Joe Rogan. It has never used our voices to train AI. It has given, I don't know, a president money to build a ballroom on the side of a White House. These are some other things that some... Podcast companies use money for. Right. Now, would we love to have a Christmas party that Flo Rida performs that?

Sure. Of course. That would be fun. But I think, I think, I think it's a net positive to be working for this little company. It's a worker-owned co-op. It just makes podcasts for weird nerds, and that's all. That's right. And we're here.

And I think the reason that we can make this show, which, Has, I'll go out on a limb and say fewer listeners than Joe Rogan. Yeah, allegedly. Which is fine. Yes. For a lot of these giant companies, like, because they operate the way they do, shows need to have a million listeners or they go off the air or they disappear. Not max fun. It's small.

The business model is like, hey, if you have a couple hundred, a couple thousand sickos who want to throw the show five bucks on. month, you can keep going. And that is lovely. And that is lovely. Three people with, you know, you know, modest fan bases like ours can do this show. And it does, we don't have to, we don't have to hit a million listeners. Modest but mighty. Modest and mighty and lovely.

So if, you know, you've been listening to this show and you've canceled some streaming services because of all the free content we've let you know about, hey, maybe go to maximum fun. dot org slash join kick a little bit of that money to the network we would really appreciate it it keeps the show going uh it pays match producer salary he doesn't just co-host the show with us he produces the fucking thing he's i cut it all together he's he's up he's up until 2 a m making stings every night that's right um i'm in the i'm in the content minds just trying to mine you know all of the fingering stories out of there listen each show has three to five fingering stories emily tells

six to ten. Yeah, exactly. Very few of them make it on air. There's a lot of fingering on the cutting room floor. Some of them aren't like good experiences. Yeah, some of them are bad. Some of their terrifying nightmares. And so without me, this show would be a lot more triggering.

So in order to pay my salary, in order to pay you two, because you two are paid not, you know, you guys are paid by the fact that we have listeners who pay to listen to our bonus content. And that is something that Max Fund, you know, has been very kind to us to let us grow the show and let us do it. And it not only helps us, it helps the entire network, but most importantly, it helps us. So, you know, you can join and help us. Yeah, but it's also like the first time, you know, we're associated with a big entity that we all met through. That's right.

called mythical entertainment, but it's really cool to do our own thing and find out that there's people who will come with us for the ride and support us. And no matter what number it is, it's just very thrilling that you all have done that. So thank you so much. Yeah, totally. And that really does mean a lot. Because, yeah, I think if you know us from another thing and you check out the other stuff we do, it always feels really nice.

It feels like, you know, the person actually likes you and not just like. like the thing you're apart now. Yeah. That's right. Really nice when folks are like, you know, if they, you know, saw Matt do stand up or they, you know, know, know, know, know, know me from another podcast or saw Emily Un Mythical. Saw my ass crack. Yes.

If they saw Emily's ass crack on the internet and said, I wonder what she thinks about Ouija board movies. So, yeah. Again, thank you so much. And again, I think we've mentioned this basically every episode. But hey, at five bucks a month, you get all our bonus content. We got a brand. new show that we're going to debut in the Boko feed, not totally dissimilar from the old one, but with one key difference, it is called We Like Shows, Sting Goes Here.

And it just played. Here's what We Like Shows is. Like our old bonus content, we are going to be reviewing TV pilots, but we're going to go kind of around the horn. Each month, another one of the hosts is going to pick the show. It's going to be something that we're watching. It's going to be an all-time favorite. It's going to be like that person's pick. The other two have to watch it no matter what it is.

And because it is behind a paywall, we are opening up the shows we can watch to paid services. So it could be streaming services. It could be cable networks. It also could be free with ads. We're not taking it off the cable. It could be Blu-ray. You can watch it on Blu-ray if you want to. So Emily has the first pick this.

month in your bonus feed right now, you can hear us review what, Emily? I have chosen my favorite show of 2026 thus far, Night of the Seven Kingdoms. I love this show so much. I've rewatched it twice and I've started rewatching it a third time. I just, I discover something new about the pilot and about everything every time I watch it. And I just think it's, you know what it reminds me of? It's very different than Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon in the way that it tells the story. It feels very Princess Bride to me. Yes, 100%.

The rhythm. And it also feels like a video game. Like it's like you get to point B. He's got the horses. Then he's got to get this thing. And then he's got to meet this guy who meets. I like the way that it works. It's just so different from the other Game of Thrones content.

And it's very, I don't know, cheerful. Very excited to talk about it because I, I too really love the pilot to a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. It's a great show. And it's behind a paywall, you know, for both us and for you, all of you out there. But I think that it's the reason why I chose it, because we usually do, our bonus content is pilots of shows that are free with ads. But for this, it's, I would not make y'all watch something if I didn't think it was not worth the money. So I think that this is, I wouldn't lead you a strict.

I wouldn't make you go pay for something that wasn't worth it. But also, I only watch it because I have my sister's HBO password. Well, yeah. Hey, listen to all of us. Get those. I'd say. My sister has mine. Nice.

Look at that. So grab, listen, grab your siblings' passwords. While you still can. While you still can. Or, hey, just listen to us. Talk about it. Maximumfund. org.

We're going to be talking about shows. in the bonus content, all-time favorites, stuff we're watching now. It's going to be a blast. Well, yeah, we're going to be talking a little bit more about the Max Fund Drive later. We're going to talk about prizes you can get. But yeah, let's do this.

Let's, you know, just to take a break, just to come down off all that excitement of the new bonus content announcement. Yeah, yeah. Let's play a little music, and then we'll talk about a roadhouse. We're back. It's free with ads.

We are talking about a roadhouse. Hell yes. So we've we've all seen it. We all love it, right? This was my first time. Matt, okay. Okay. Okay.

What's even worse is I have seen the remake of Roadhouse with Jake Dillon Hall. Wow. Yes. I saw that one first. And I tell you, you know what it will really make you enjoy Roadhouse even more is having seen that one. Yeah. Because you're thinking, oh, this is a, this is going to be a, this is a really, shitty premise is what I thought when I saw the original or when I saw the remake.

So this was my first time, guys. And I got to say your excitement, 100% matched by my excitement for it as well. It really isn't a great premise if you were in the pitch like room for it. It only works in the 80s. It only works in that sort of milieu, in that vibe. The vibe of it makes total sense. But it's also the stars. Yes, that too.

That's part of it. Yeah. And the music of Jeff Healy, who was like the musician who's like playing behind a cage in the bar. I've got to know more about that. His music is so cool. Like it's so. Is he actually blind? Um, is he blind?

Because I was kind of like, I feel like there's some things that, but I don't know. I'll have to look that. I assumed he was. Uh, but I guess we'll all look it up at the same time. Oh, here it is. When he was almost one year old, um, he lost his sight due to, retinoblastoma. Oh shit.

I'm definitely pronouncing that incorrectly. No, I think that's right. Cancer of the eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His eyes were surgically removed and he was given ocular prosthetics. Well, that's amazing because he's playing

all throughout this movie. He's fucking shredding on the guitar. He's acting. He's like acting with Swayze and doing a great job. And he's good. And he's really good. He's also pretty dang cute. He might make it to hunk watch for me.

I mean, I'm sure this hunk watch is going to be two and a half hours long. I was so anxious thinking about the hunk watch. I still don't know what I'm going to pick, you guys. Well, yeah, let's talk about it. Roadhouse. It opens up with a babe getting out of a major convertible. Hell yeah.

We're cruising around a roadhouse, not the titular roadhouse, but a different roadhouse. Guys are forking over cash. We've just got close-ups of women's cleavage just, just, So sick. It's so sick. A beautiful montage. It's 1989 and nothing bad is ever going to happen again. Oh, yeah.

Reagan's going to be president forever. He's not president at this point, but he'll be president again. Who is president around here? HW was, yeah, which was basically Reagan again. Do you guys know that when I was a kid, like Bush was president when I was little, I guess, and then Clinton was the next president. and I was a kid, I didn't know. I just felt really bad that this old man lost his job.

Oh, I love that. That's really cute. He's a hobby. I know. So Patrick Swayzee, he's presiding over the whole thing, calmly, coolly. Great hair. A dude starts making some fucking trouble. I don't know exactly what this first guy is doing,

but he stabs a $100 bill with a knife on the table. Everyone in Roadhouse carries a knife. Everyone has a knife. Basically no one has a gun. There's a world of knives and a few guns. And a world in which people are not as scared of knives as they should be. Oh, no. I found the knife stuff to be very terrifying because you know they say that thing about

how if someone has a gun run towards them and if someone has a knife run away. I see. I've heard that. I don't know if it's true. I don't know if I believe that. Yeah, definitely run away no matter what. I think. You can't really run away from a bullet.

So you might as well try to get it out of the person's hand. This is not great advice to anyone. Yeah. I'm just like, this is just what I've heard. These are things we've heard. This is not, if you're being held up right now.

I would love to think that someone's in that situation. He said, well, Emily from Free With Ed says I should run short. Help me podcast. Well, yeah, because they're less likely to shoot you,

I guess. So it's like easier to like run up and push them over or something like that. Yeah. But a knife can accidentally like get you, which I have like a bunch of different boot daggers. I'm about. like I'm narrowing it between three different boot daggers right now because I've always wanted one.

And so maybe I should post it on our Instagram and ask what people think, which one I should get. Emily's going to become a knife fluencer. Well, I have tons of knives already, you guys. I mean, I'm saying knife fluencing. There's got to be knife talk out there. You can get big on knife talk. And if you watch one of the Good Mythical Morning episodes as of recently, they did a knife. like contest and that was my pitch.

Oh wow. Okay. That's a good pitch. It's like sharpened knives and they cut like water bottles in half and shit. And I was like, guess who's, guess you pitch that one? I bet you could guess. So this guy, Swayze's calming him down. He's stabbing money like crazy. And he says to Swayze, I've always wanted to try you.

That will be a recurring theme. Everyone has heard of Patrick Swayze because he is a- He is a famous bouncer. The most famous bouncer. I don't know how he got famous. Everyone knows this bouncer. It's crazy. It's kind of like over the edge where it's like these famous arm wrestlers.

Like who the fuck knows about this? But in this world, bouncers are celebrities. Even in that world, arm wrestling seems to be televised and they have competitions. Right. Good point. But where have people seen him bounce before? These guys go to a lot of roadhouses. I think it's just word of mouth.

I go around from roadhouse to roadhouse, getting in the fights instead. Dabbing random guys. And you're the guy I've wanted to stab for years. Yeah. So Swayze tells the guy to step outside and, you know, ostensibly to fight him. But the guy steps outside and Swayze just turns around and walks back in. What? This is a different kind of action hero.

That's right. One who doesn't want violent. Yeah. No. So he, so he like, don't see this guy fight. This guy who, you know, we're being told is a total badass. He gets, he does get stabbed at some point. during that altercation

and he's sewing up his own fucking wound in the bathroom. Yep. He's so cool. And while he's sewing up his own wound, a sleazy business guy comes in. This is Tillman. He owns the double deuce.

That's right. Double deuce. My new nickname that I insist everyone call me from now on. Yeah, you're double deuce now. Oh, I'm double deuce. Yeah, I'll be that guy. Double dee.

I'll be the guy who calls you double deuce. Thanks, buddy. Hell of it. So Tillman owns. That's when you poop, pee, and then poop again. Yes, exactly. I did a double deuce.

I did pooh-pooh, peepie, pooh. Oh, no, I don't want the nickname anymore. Too late. Too late. I'm double dues. There's always poop and then pee, but never pee and then poop. That's true.

That's very true. Sometimes. So Tillman, he owns the double deuce. This place is wild. He says every night after closing, he has to sweep up the eyeballs. That was a cool line. Yeah, what a weird way to say that, like,

my bar is rough. if people are getting their eyes poked out. We sweep them up. So I wonder where this, like I heard, you know, Tennessee, Texas. Like, I'm like, where is this first bar at? Where was he? I think because he, there is a legend that why he's so memorable is he killed a guy in Tennessee. And so that's kind of a recurring thing that comes up.

But I don't know where these bars are supposed to be. But I want to be in them so bad. I know. They look so much fucking fun. And yes, absolutely. when like people are getting their eyeballs poked out you're like oh i can't i want to be there watching it all happen i want to get my eyes poked out yeah i've never been at a place where there were bar fights really i've only been in like one situation but it was a bar fight in an italian restaurant in the

um the the century city mall was this was there a bar fight at a bucccadipo no it was like if you go to the century city mall there's this kind of you know like ass like italian restaurant and some guy like broke a glass over a guy's head. Oh, wow. Holy shit. Oh, classic roadhouse shit. That is. But it like went from zero to 100.

Like I didn't even hear them arguing. It's just and I was like, whoa, that's the most action I've ever seen in a bar. I've never seen fights other than that. And you'd think that I would have. Yeah. But I haven't. That's true. You do frequent a good amount of roadhouses.

Well, the crazy thing is like those people seem like a pain in the ass and all these bars. None of them seem cool. Yeah. Yeah. The people who go to this bar. I mean, yeah, everyone in any bar in this movie will just start fighting immediately. They're dicks.

We'll grab any tits they see. A lot of good titty grabs in this movie. A lot of good titty grabbing. A lot of, a lot of tits, a lot of grabbing other tits. Top shelf tithies at these bars. Oh, totally. I for, like, this movie, to me, was like always on cable as a kid. It's like a quintess.

And I think still is to this day. I bet you could still turn on T&T or something and see. I don't know. It's pretty grap. I bet maybe censorship has kind of elevated. I have, for a while, I had only seen the like TV version of this, which is heavily censored, not just like the tits, but the violence and stuff like that. And I think maybe like when when Netflix started mailing DVDs, I got this on D.

I'm like, oh, watch Roadhouse. I've seen this movie a million times. And I'm like, there's tits? Oh my. You know, so seeing the uncensored version of this after seeing that cable version, million times was just like wild. I was just like in 2001 where he's seeing through time. Anyway, so he goes, he goes to the old double deuce and it is, it's as wild.

It's as wild as advertised. Things are going crazy. The bouncers are hitting on women. The bartenders are stealing money. Bartenders are stealing money. This guy goes up to, there's like a major babe in this movie and this kind of doofy. dude goes up to hit on her and he's like you want to get nipple to nipple

what the fuck was that? Some of the lines in this movie they're like they like don't totally make sense but they're awesome yeah um that guy's on his rum springer he doesn't know what the fuck right it's like this movie was written by someone who has never had sex

before but I never touched it before he'll touch tongues and then yeah let's get nipple to nipple and then she says I can do that without you and I think what she's getting at is that she can have sex with someone else. But it sounds like... That's not what I thought.

It sounds like she could like press her breasts together. Yeah. And make the nipples touch. Yes. And I immediately tried to do it. Oh, yeah. Can you do it? I think we all did.

I can. It doesn't feel good. It's a lot of stretching going on. I could do it. You got to scoop under and get in there. Scoop. You got a scoop under. I can't do it.

So yeah. So I think everyone who just who listens this podcast, they all try it. it simultaneously. And I love that. I like imagining that someone's at a stoplight and they're like fucking diddling their

tits at the stoplight. How do you get them to press? I got to touch the tips. It's got to be a way. Yeah. So yes. And of course, Swayze is there like surveying

the situation. Everyone has heard of them and they say that yeah, they say he, something happened in Tennessee. They say he ripped a man's throat out. Yeah. And someone says to him.

Chekhov's ripped throat. Yep. Oh boy. I love it. I love it. It's so cool. He has a signature move.

He has a, Patrick Swayze has a fatality in this. He sure fucking does. Just forward down, forward low punch. Yes. And Patrick Swayze rips a throat out. Finish him. Finish him. Now cry.

They keep saying that like everybody underestimates him. That's a running kind of. Yeah. It's not how small he is. We thought you'd be bigger. And it is strange because. Yeah. I know in real life he's probably what like 5-5 or something, right?

Because he's a- But he's got broad shoulders. He's an actor, every famous actor that you think is cool and a hunk, they're all five-five. The thing is, in the movie, you can't tell that he's particularly shorter than anyone else. So I have no idea what they're talking about when they say, I thought you'd be bigger. And it's like, he looks like just normal. And also he looks strong as fuck. So I'm like, what are you talking about?

Yeah, maybe at the time this movie was made, like he was, you know, at the height of his fame. So maybe there were just a bunch of short jokes. about him at the time. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. That's exactly what I'm thinking. Yeah, well, I also think that, you know, he had done probably dirty dancing before this. And I think there was maybe this, oh, this guy who dances and stuff. How could he ever be tough?

So they decided to call him small to kind of like get people. Amasculate him so that he could overcome it in the movie. Overcome it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's like lean, mean, fight and machine. His muscles, his arms, like, he's in great shape. Most of the other bouncers that you see are just dudes with beer guts that happen to be taller than him. Right.

And that does not make you a better fighter, guys. Certainly does not. Trust me. Knowing all the karate, doing Tai Chi at dawn. But to be fair, if you listen to our first Boko, We Love Show's episode, we're going to talk about, you know, Sir Duncan the tall and how he's underestimated because he's huge. That's huge.

It's huge. So there's a flip-flop to this, I guess. Yeah, sure. There's all kinds of people you can underestimate. That's true. So, yeah, someone also tells him, I heard you had balls big enough to come in a dump truck. You know, what's that mean?

I don't know. A tonka truck. Oh, yeah. I've been thinking about your balls a lot. Just letting you know. How much comb you could make. Yeah, I bet you can make a lot of it because your balls are so big. You guys, I was looking up like, is there a roadhouse video game?

Because, like, he's got that, you know, that killing move. And I'm like, is there another. So there is a roadhouse simulator. Okay. Drago Entertainment. So I guess you can play this game. You start out as a bouncer and like, I mean, I don't know. Maybe you guys are more gamers.

I don't play games. Yeah, I haven't heard about this. Yeah, this looks like maybe it's like, just looking at the page for this on Steam, it looks like maybe they tried to make a roadhouse game and then couldn't get the license. So they just called it Roadhouse simulator. Anyway. Roadhouse, if you made the remake with these like big fighters and Jake Jillenhall and you didn't want to make a video game, do you like money? Yeah, they fucked up.

What the fuck is wrong with you? I know. It's like, yeah, this movie like is, this movie is a video game. Yes. There's also, okay, so there's the remake with Jake Gyllenhaal, but between that and this, there was a direct-to-d-d-d-d-de-TV sequel starring Jake Bucy. What? I've never seen it. I'm, yeah, dying to see it.

I bet, I mean, I bet it sucks. I don't want to see it. Jake Bucy, though. You see. So yeah, Dalton decides he's going to clean up this roadhouse so he like moves into the little town. He finds a kindly old farmer man and rents a room from him for a hundred bucks a month. And this like loft that he goes into, it's like it's like the coolest place to live in history. The loft in this farmer's barn has so much like cool furniture and shit in it.

Yeah. And he gets access to all of his horses. Yeah. And he can play with the guy's horses whenever he used to. Yeah. I wish my apartment had horses. Yeah, me too. Me too. I hate horses, man. I'm kind of scared of them.

I'm terrified. It's not that I hate them. I just like watching them at a distance. And I was, when I was growing up, it's like all the summer camps in Tennessee, you have to ride a horse. Like you're just, Girl Scout Camp, got to ride a horse. Like day camp, got to get on. I kicked, screamed, hated it, did not want to get on one. And now I'm like, I really wish I knew how to ride a horse. That would have been cool.

I stayed in a dude ranch in Colorado when I was a kid, like the whole family for like a vacation to like get out of the city, right? And it was the first time I read like I had riden horses before like Will Rogers Park. Oh cool. You know, but like this was the first time I was like with horses. And I lasted about two days until I both my eyes got really swollen because I was allergic to something. No. And yeah, so my city boy asked, literally my DNA was like you are allergic to nature and being tough guy. So I've always been jealous of people who can ride horses.

You got to wash your hands after you pet a horse because if you put it in. Well, because when I was working for the bone store, the taxidermy weird oddity shop I worked at, like all the taxidermy that still has the fur on it, any time that you handle one of those, you cannot touch your face afterwards. You have to go wash your hands because that fur and everything, there's just stuff in it, especially feathers. If you handle like feathered taxidermy and then touch your face, you get like, crazy, like, allergic reactions. So yeah, if you ride a horse or whatever, wash your damn hands. Don't touch your face.

So, yeah, Dalton's got this great place access to all the filthy disease-ridden horses that he wants to. So yeah, so he's kind of meeting the people in the town. There's old guy that rents him the room. room and then there's this nice guy named Red who owns the auto parts store. Red. Love this guy. What is it?

Was Red short for something? There's so many like old kindly countrymen named Red. He had like a strawberry colored beard and hair. Yeah, I feel like back in the day like whenever there was a ginger around, everyone like breathed the sigh of relief because they knew what nickname to give him. They were just like, well, that's red. Good. We have a red.

Yeah. The question is what do you do when there's a second ginger? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Are they also red? Crimson. Yeah, exactly. That's what they,

I just started watching the comeback, you know, the Lisa Kudrow thing. And her, um, hairdresser slash like assistant, he calls her red all the time. Right. It's really cute. But nobody has ever called me red. I'll call you red. We're all got new nicknames. I'm double deuce.

You're red. I need one. Well, guess what? Allerger. Well, Matt. There was. Exima face. So as, as the two of you don't watch, like, look at the Reddit stuff.

and I do. There was a post where they were, there were like stickers or something from like a Comic-Con something. And there was a cotton candy, Randy one. And then there was poison ivy, Harley Quinn, and Rogue. And they were like, well, I know which one Jordan is. So which one is Emily and Matt?

And they were like, Emily wants to be rogue, but let's be honest, that's Matt. I'm rogue. Somebody says you're rogue and I'm Harley. Is it because I have more gray in my hair? You call us sugar all the time. Well, I think it's just like, I'm between us, I'm definitely more of a Harley. For sure, 100%.

So I guess you're a rogue. I'm rogue by you folk. Okay, I'll be rogue. Red, double deuce, and rogue. That's right. It's our new names. Hell yeah. Here on out.

I am rogue. There you go. Double deuce. Yeah, that works there. Yeah. Rogue, red, and deuce. There you go. Three, the three months.

Musketeers. So yeah. So Patrick Swayze, he's going to, he's going to clean this place up. So he goes and he's kind of like laying down the law. So he like fires the guy who was skimming money who was going to turn out to be a problem later. One of the guys is in the back room like having sex with one of the customers. And so the customer who he's having sex with just like has her boobs out and her like pants, you know, around her knees. And he got he is totally nude. He is taking off all of his clothes. Yeah, socks and all. He's one of those guys who like takes his pants off to shit. 100%. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, he's the guy who pulls his pants all the way down to piss at the urinal. What is that? Some people just know when they have a nice ass.

What I love is that like Patrick Swayze opens the door. And before stopping, he like looks and he's admiring what he's seeing. There's part of him that's like, that's a nice body. I'm sorry to have to fire you. but you have a very nice ass. Yeah, he was like, go on break and stay on it. Yeah, yeah. The guy's like, I'm on my break.

Yeah. Stay on your break, buddy. Like, it wasn't like even a firing where he's like, you're a bad person. He just went, we can't do that here, but good for you, buddy. And I almost felt like he was like trying to not cock block by saying, okay, stay on break. Like, keep going if you want. But I do think we should have the best ass of sting for movies like this because good man ass. Like there's like because there's a couple of good asses.

Yeah, I think this movie like, and I think you're right, Matt about that like look that Swayze gives him that is very much like, you know, and like everyone has chemistry with everyone else in this movie. Right. Like, yes. I think this movie exists in a like pansexual world where everyone is hooking up and also there's one gun in the town. Right. And everyone else has, you know. Everyone has a knife. It's this weird fantasy world.

So yeah, I think part of that is like it does seem like everybody is sexually into everyone else. 100%. Yes. So yeah. Everyone's hot. You can't deny it. I know. Everybody's hot. So yeah.

So across the street from Swayze in his humble barn loft that's like the coolest Airbnb you've ever stayed in. There's an obnoxious rich guy. Brad Wesley played by fucking Ben Gazzara, the late great Ben Gizzerra, the late great Ben are a wonderful that guy from that thing. Jackie Treehorn. Jackie Treehorn. Yeah. Awesome in this movie, a great scumbag.

Yeah. So yeah, he's kind of this like mafia dude who like has the whole town in a chokehold. He like gets protection money from everybody. And he's having these like wild parties. So yeah, there's this wild party at this dude's house. They take a topless woman and throw her in the pool, but she has high heels on. Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty sick. So anyway, so Patrick Sway's kind of like watching this guy and like who's this fucking. like the next day he wakes up and there's this like kind of like quirky fun waitress that works on the bar she just love her she's great she sings later probably you know she's lip singing i don't know if it's actually the actor singing but she is a voice actress um i really love her i've she pops up she's another like um actress who's that you've seen her before yeah yeah but she was the uh the voice of pepper ann in the in the cartoon pepper anne which was one of my favorite

favorite cartoons from being a kid but she's also been in Twin Peaks which I don't remember who she's played before but yeah she's been a lot of stuff

I'm not sure if she's a singer but she is a voice actress oh that's great yeah she is really fun she's like some really fun comic relief in this so she just found where Swayze lived

brought him breakfast he gets out of bed totally nude does not care it's where you see a real just like tight tight shot of his butt Oh my God. And she's just like,

go-go. Well, also, so I've kind of touched on something about, you know, everybody is like supermodel playboy hot in this movie, but she is very beautiful. And like, remember how I talked about how Stephen Root was my crush in a different movie because, like, there were hunks in it. But if I were in the room with everyone, I'd be like crushing on young Stephen Root. Right.

Like if I were in a room with her in it, I'd just go, this woman is. is so beautiful. But of course, she's not like the, you know, like the music video blonde with a thong on, but she's like very beautiful. Yeah, and yeah, just terrific in this movie. Oh, and also, here's something fun. Yeah.

So she's, that actress is released two albums. Okay. So Kathleen Willoyt, Willoyt, I think is her name. But it said that her songs have appeared in Roadhouse. So I guess she wrote the song that's in Roadhouse. Oh, cool. That's right. And then she's had songs that appear in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Nice. There you go. Super cool. So Ben Gazar and his go to the roadhouse. They know that Dalton's trouble. They are also extorting the bar. They're like controlling the liquor that comes in and out of the bar. So there's kind of this, this is this one Patrick Swayze knows that like Ben Gazzar is onto him and he's bad news.

He brings a bunch of dudes, including like the guy he fired who's Ben Gazzar's nephew. who pulls a, you guessed it, giant knife. This guy also has a giant knife. And this is like one of the first times we see Swayze actually fight. And he grabs him and this. And before he punches him, the guy's nose is already bloody. I saw that. What the fuck was that?

You know, listen, it was probably just bad filmmaking. That's right. But I choose to believe that Swayze is so powerful that as soon as he grabs you, you start bleeding from the face. That's how powerful. his Tai Chi aura is. Absolutely. But yes,

that's what would happen to me. Either that or I'd start coming from the dick. Yeah. So I'm bleeding from the face or coming from the dick. Yeah, you never know. So yeah, he like fucks up all these dudes.

He gets like, and, you know, something interesting about this movie is that like, Swayze himself gets really fucked up. Like he's not just this super guy who wins every fight, right? Like he's not like, like the rock has a thing in his,

uh, contract where he can't lose. But like Swayze loses a lot in this and he gets hurt. I think that's kind of part of the, I don't know, that's part of, a little detail of this movie that I really like is that like you do see him get fucked up. And obviously it leads to this little plot point that we're going to get to because he gets stabbed and he goes to, he goes to the doctor, Dr. Clay, who will be the love interest of this movie.

Have you heard the legend about Bill Murray's prank? on this actress's husband? I have not. No, what is it? Please tell me the legend. Does it make us hate Bill Murray? Well, I mean, the more I hear about it, the more I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no.

He's one of those guys. I don't look into it. Oh, sure. Yeah. Should I tell that story? Oh, please, yeah. I mean, either one. So there's plenty of things about Bill Murray that are, you know, unsavory, but I'll

tell you one positive story. Okay. My dad did, the steel drivers did the same. soundtrack for a movie called Get Low starring Robert Duval, Bill Murray, and Sissy Spacic. And it, they were filming it in like 2009 or 10 or something. And they could have gotten me to be an extra, but I guess my dad did think about that. I would have appreciated it. But anyway, it was filmed in the wintertime and it was really cold and it was like a movie that took place in the early 1900s, I guess. So it's like old-timey. And Bill Murray plays like a mayor

of the town during that time. And he was. he has a band that backs him up when he goes and talks on a stage somewhere and the steel drivers were that band. Oh, cool. And he loved the steel drivers. My dad also said that when in between shots, Bill Murray would hand out little flasks of whiskey to the extras. Okay.

Just like pass it around. And then he would just do jokes and make them laugh during in between, because it was winter and it was cold in Georgia. And then he would pick up the steel drivers and his limo and take them to breakfast and and wanted to talk to them. And then years later, they played in, it was South Carolina or North Carolina, where he lives, and he showed up, bought all the remaining tickets and handed them out to everyone in line for the show.

Oh, that's really nice. So he sold out the show, and he's played on stage with the steel drivers and John Prine at the Grand Ole Opry and the Ryman Auditorium. So, yes, I'm going to tell you a kind of a fucked up story about him, but like that's the nice story. Okay. Yeah. So he play,

the Kelly Lynch is this actor. Yeah. So Kelly Lynch's husband, I guess was one of Bill Murray's friends. And every time he watches Roadhouse, he calls their house and lets him know that Patrick Swayze is fucking his wife. That's kind of funny. That's nice.

I get behind that. I mean, that's kind of funny. Yeah, and the movie is on TV so much. I know. So he like calls them every time. Five times every weekend.

So yeah, that's the story. Yeah. So she is, they have like, you know, insane chemistry. Obviously, everybody in this movie has chemistry with everybody else. But, yeah, there's is off the chart. She asks him, how do this happen? He says natural causes. And then she asks if it's painful.

And he says, I don't know, for me, this is an all-time movie line. pain don't hurt. Pain don't hurt. There it is. Just fucking baffling. Makes no sense. And then she staples his wound and he winces. He goes,

which I love, I loved that. I loved that because at first you're like, man, that is such a cool line. I don't really know what it means. And they didn't follow it up with like, you know what really hurts is heartbreak or whatever the fuck.

And then she staples him and he winces. And it's like, Okay, so he does feel pain. I love that he's kind of, he's kind of a dork. Like, he doesn't win all the fights. He's not invincible. He's not invincible. He fights really well, but also, you know, he fights and dances.

You know what I mean? He's doing dance fighting. It's like there's something about this character that is like self-effacing in a way that is almost subversive. Like they're not telling you, like it comes off as a tough guy movie, but they give little winks to the audience that it's not really. a tough guy movie. Well, the idea that it's a tough guy movie, all I see is a bunch of little fucking bitches getting in fights.

It's like little whiny cunts. It's almost like men are kind of emotional. Men are kind of emotional. Sure, yeah. This is kind of like maybe they can't control their emotions. Uh-oh. Men will literally wreck a roadhouse

before going to therapy. Oh, isn't that true? Oh, my God. Literally wrecking in therapy. Literally therapy and do therapy. Literally. Anyway. So she.

Literally chop a throat out of somebody's neck. Them will really rip out the throat of someone who's talking about fucking them in prison. We'll get to it. Anyway. So, so yeah, she gives him the, I thought you'd be bigger line. And then she says that there's, there's like, this is like the greatest scene. And there's like 10 amazing lines in this, in this scene. So she's looking at his, he's like medical chart.

And he says, your file says you have a degree in philosophy. Your medical chart? Why is that in there? Can my doctor tell that I have a degree from UC Santa Cruz? Is it in there? Wait, that's kind of true, though. Because when I go to the doctor, they go, like, they'll ask you a bunch of the stuff and they'll just be like your profession or whatever.

Okay. And I always lie because sometimes I don't have one. Sometimes it feels good to lie. Like right now, I'd have to do. change it to podcaster. You still have a profession. Podcasting. Podcaster and sometimes Etsy store lady.

That counts. That counts. So yeah. So this is great. They're into each other. He's asked her if she wants to come by the double deuce for a cup of coffee. And so yeah. So he, and so Ben Gazar is kind of like wrecking the town. He roughs up red in the auto parts store. and Patrick Swayze, he knows this place is going to be trouble.

So who does he put in a call to? His friend, Sam Elliott, who's bouncing at his trip club. Sam Elliott, just damp, damp, damp, just always a little wet in this movie. Best hair. Always looks like he's just been crying. Yeah. And he's got the darker, it's like not the all-white silver fox. It is the salt and pepper fox, Sam Elliott.

And boy, is he tall compared to everybody. Oh, yeah. Tall, tall man. And beautiful. Looking awesome. And yeah, like this strip club he's in looks like so wild. Everyone has water guns. Yes.

I feel bad for these strippers, but the men are spraying them with water guns the whole time. Well, it's better than what they did the 2000s, which is spray champagne on everyone. That's true. That's worse. Yeah. At least it's not sticky. Yeah, exactly. But he does have like one button on that shirt that he's got.

And it's towards the bottom. Oh, yeah. He looks fantastic. So yeah, so he's calling Sam Elliott. He's going to like kind of swoop in a little bit later. But yeah, you see this kind of like, well they won't they thing with Dalton and the doctor. She kind of comes, she tries to come to the roadhouse and he's like kicking the shit out of people. And she's like, oh my God.

But she's really super into him. How could she not be? So she kind of shows up at his house one night and it's like a total booty call. And we get this very like 80 sex scene with them. where like there's nudity but not a ton of it. It's very tasteful. They're listening to Motown while they do it. Which fellas, do that more.

Put on a little Motown. A little less like, I don't know. What's the? Power Man, 5,000? A little less massive attack and a little bit more Motown. I feel like that's flaming lips and massive attack. I don't like music. Forever.

You don't like music during sex. Like National Public Radio. I like silence and I like all the lights to be on. Am I weird? No, I think that's very healthy. But I also think if anybody is having sex with our podcast on in the background, please let us know. Yeah, let us know when you come.

I would love to know if that's true. That would make me so happy. Let us know which bit made you come. Yeah. Maybe we should do sometime just do a Boko thing where we're just talking you through fucking. And like help you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're doing great.

You're good at fucking. That's as hard as it needs to get. Listen, you might need to fart, but it'll pass. Like, you can just suck it in. Don't think about that.

Think about the finish line. He does this move in the sexy where he's like, like doing a kind of a spin thing. Like you remember that that JPEG where it was like, you spin me, right? Right.

Yeah, the penis. It looks like he's kind of doing that. I just want the men out there to know, don't do it. I've, like, it seems like that was. a move that everyone thought they were going to do.

Everyone thinks they can do a swirl. They can't. It hurts and it makes you have to pee. You're doing all sorts of weird shit. It's not good. So yes, they have sex. Ben Gazzara kind of creepily watches them from a rocking chair across the lake. Later on, back at the old double deuce, the Ben Gazzara goons are like trying to like,

trying to like take all the liquor. And so Swayze goes to stop him. they start to beat him up and then fucking Sam Elliott shows up on a Coral F Chopper Helps them with a fight and immediately the movie goes from a great movie to one of my favorite movies. Yeah. Them as

like them as like a pair is so much fun. Oh my God. It's so cool. And I like looked at the time and I was sad because I was like God damn it. An hour had to pass before Sam Elliott shows up and kicks the shit into high gear. Yeah. Damn it.

Like it made me sad. Like literally I was like, I wish there was two more hours. I just want to see them. They are my favorite power rangers. Yes. Like the two of them. They could really fuck up some putties. Yes.

One of the guys asked him, you want to fight? And Samuel, it says, I sure ain't going to show you my dick. And by the way, like Swayze and him have a pass together. They don't say exactly what it is, but it really seems like they were in a relationship. A hundred percent. Yes. Yes. Again, this movie is doing little.

winks to a whole alternate history theory about what's actually going on here. And I love it. I think there were an item 100%. So they, you know, so they kind of go out with the doctor. They're this like weird little thruple out on the town. And then we kind of get a little, like while she's off at the jukebox, we get a little bit of the Swayze back story. Apparently, according to Sam Elliott, Swayze was involved with this married woman and the husband pulled a gun and Swayzee,

I think we're led to believe this is where Swayze did the throat rip for the first time. So Swayze, you know, maybe killed this guy who was trying to to kill him. So, okay, so we're about to get to the part of the movie

where shit gets even more insane. It's the kind of crazy third act that just ramps into high gear. It's so crazy. Let's take a little break. Talk about some Max Fun Drive Pledge Gifts. And we'll come back. Hey, it's free with ads.

It's the MaxFund Drive, Maximumfund.org slash join. That's where you go to support the show. We didn't mention this at the top, but this is something we mentioned on a previous episode. We're looking for, hey, we're looking for 200 new members, not just to the network, but to our show specifically when you go on that website we keep mentioning, maximum fun.org slash join.

You can pick the show if you listen to. Great website. One of our favorites. One of the best. One of the best websites to go. to. Better than ask Jeeves. Oh, so much better. Fuck Jeeves.

Fuck Jeeves. Rip is brood out. So if we get 200 new members, we will watch the town hall video between Matthew McConaughey and Timothy Chalome to handsome, confident idiots trying to blow each other's mind. Funny, this video, this came out. This was like an award season thing that they did. this is where Timothy Chalemay said that he doesn't like ballet

or that ballet sucks Oh my God, it did end up having a whole life of its own Yeah, so we will watch that And we will try to live stream ourselves watching it And I imagine it will be like, you know that scene in Grizzly Man Where you see Werner Herzog with the headphones on Watching the guy Burn this video burn this cutoff

I hope no one ever sees this film Never listen to this So that will be our faces while we're watching those two dipshits try and impress each other. I have a feeling I will be pacing in the background with my hands on my head. Like, okay. So if we hit 200 new members, we will watch the Matthew McConaughey, Timothy Shalomey Town Hall. If we hit 500 members, we will do a live watchalong with a movie TBD. So we'll all press play at the same time and it'll be like you're watching the movie with us. us. And then if we hit 900 new members, that's for our show, not for the whole network in general,

but 900 free with ads members, we will release sting tones. That's right. All of our famous stings made by Matt Leib will be released as MP3s so that you may use them as ringtones. Yes, whenever someone texts you, you could hear fingering story or any one of our beautiful stings. So 200. A review of the Timothy, Shalomey, Matthew McCona Haytown Hall. 500 new members. We will do a live watch-along. And for 900 new members, we will release stingtones. Our stings as ringtones. So yeah, if you want us to do that, that's a reason to join. If you want to get our bonus content, that's a reason to join. But if you're a new or upgrading member, you can upgrade folks. If you're already a member and want to kick us a little more money, we don't hate that. and you can also get some of this cool stuff.

Five bucks a month, you get the bonus content. That's the reason to do it. But 10 bucks a month, you not only get the bonus content, but you get a keychain themed to your favorite show. If you pick our show, this is Emily's Brain Child. Our keychain, our special show-specific keychain is Stingy, the Sting-Rae. Is he a jellyfish or is he a stingray? You're right.

He's a jelly. I'm sorry, Stingy the jellyfish who loves stings. Because it looks kind of like a weird dick. It does look a little bit like that. You're right. It's not, it is a jellyfish. It's a jellyfish who loves stings. It's if someone had a dick and then we shredded the dick under the head.

It's exactly like that. That's exactly what it's like. Who doesn't want to have something that looks kind of like a shredded dick on their person and or things? I think everyone wants that. For $10 a month, you get that keychie. Jane, you get the bonus content, you get a max fun membership card. That'll look great in your wallet.

For 20 bucks a month, you get the good, clean, fun bag, or the rocket visor. I actually saw the rocket visor today. It's like a little, like a little Velcro sun visor with the max fun rocket on it. Very cool. And the good, clean fun bag carries all your travel essential. So if you want a fun little travel bag, 20 bucks a month, you can also choose that visor. And it's and it's and it stacks. The gifts stack.

So if you do the 20 bucks a month and you get one of those gifts, you also get the keychain. You also get the bonus content. All kinds of stuff on there. 35 bucks. You got a cool water bottle. 50 bucks a month. You get a custom metal membership card. And again, if you if you do one of these levels, it goes backwards.

So you get all of the gifts. Maximum fun.org slash join. Oh, and the good clean fun bag is what I call my right. breast. There you go. The other one is filthy. Thank you for mentioning your breasts, Emily, and reminding me to say this. We,

us, our show, only our show. We are picking someone who donates during the Fun Drive or someone who is already a member. We are picking one of you to receive a special free with ads prize pack. We will choose you at random

from our roles and you will not only get Emily's bra cup. You will not only get a $25 Buffalo Wild Wings gift card given to me by some lovely listeners at a book event. You're going to get a poster from our live show that Emily designed.

I'm going to throw in a free comic book and maybe we'll throw in a couple other little funsies there too. So if you want a chance to win that, maximum fun.org slash join. Okay, we got a lot more roadhouse to talk about.

So we're going to play some music and get back to the convo. Hey, we're back. with ads. We're talking about the thrilling conclusion of a roadhouse. So at this point, Ben Gazzara, he is on to Patrick Swayze and he's just about to make life a fucking living hell for this town. He burns down Red's auto parts store. It just goes up in a giant fireball. It's such a flammable auto parts store. He has a monster truck. He has a bigfoot style monster truck. He just smashes all these cars in the car dealership. It's such an 80s thing because

It is like only in, you know, this time period could you have one of the villains be a monster truck? You know what I mean? Like you don't see monster trucks used anymore for anything. Not even monster truck shows. I mean, I'm sure they have them. Righteous Jimstone had a little monster truck like storyline. Right, but it was like a throwback type thing. You know what I mean?

It's like... You should be more. I agree. Monster trucks are, you know, one of the movie monsters we don't talk about anymore. But wait. Have you guys been to a? a monster truck rally ever? No, but it sounds amazing.

I have not. I want to go so bad. I want to go too. Do they have them a lot anymore? I don't know. I did go to one. A friend of mine was dating the announcer, so we all got free tickets. And so yeah, we got to listen to the guy now.

She's like, that's the guy I'm dating. I'm going to research this because the three of us at a monster chuck rally is like, fucking fun. Oh, Rogan double deuce and red hitting the old monster truck show. All of us brought a knife is our date. We all brought a knife. No one has a gun. So shit's going crazy in town.

They're just like trying to, they're just trying to get to Dalton. They have a, there's a, okay, so, so Ben Gazzara has a super turbo goon guy named Jimmy. Weird name for your turbo goon, whatever. He, like, has an open shirt. He's got a bunch of jewelry. He's great with a pool cue.

He does like pool cue martial arts. and he like kind of challenges Dalton to this big fight in the middle of the night and it's a it's like a very cool fight it still looks cool in 2026 uh they say a bunch of crazy things to each other uh that sting that matt played at the top of the show but also uh jimmy says to dalton i used to fuck guys like you in prison yeah the craziest thing they don't explain it um again this is i'm telling you that this movie was was doing a lot of hints at the sexuality of Dalton. And, you know, he's like, everyone is calling him essentially a slur, an F slur.

Sure. And it is just, it's hinted. It's part of it. And, of course, he's, he's, you know, about to do something really. Yeah, I'll be honest. It doesn't feel like the men in this movie are actually attracted to women. It just feels like they're trying to piss other men off by grabbing women's breasts. Yeah.

And they're like, that's my woman. And I'm like, I don't feel like you even. like her that much. Like it's, yeah, this movie is like a weird parody of masculinity. Yes. Yes.

I think that, you know, it was co-written by a woman. So I think that's maybe, you know, why you get some of this flavor, you know, that is just a little bit off

from a normal action movie. Yes. Yeah. And it really, really reminds me of point break. Yeah. That is another movie where you're like, is this serious,

is this kind of commenting on masculinity? Yes. Anyway, also point break directed by a woman, Catton Bigelow. Of course. That's right. No, I think you're 100% right Because every time I was like, I was like

Watch it at it's like almost just like making fun of masculinity It is. It is at once one of the greatest action movies ever And also one of the greatest parodies of action movies. Yeah, totally. You cannot tell if it's serious and it doesn't matter. No. It's just people getting in fights for no fucking reason.

Everyone starts fighting immediately. It's all vibes. I love the vibe. Have you all ever been in a bar fight? No. Barely been in a fight. Yeah. I'm allergic to being near horse.

Can't be near horse. Let's not get in fight. So yeah, so Swayzee does the throat rip. He does his signature fatality. Fucking crazy. But then fucking Ben Gazzara has Sam Elliott killed. Find Sam Elity on the bar with a knife in his back. Jesus Christ.

He kidnaps the doctor. So Swayze, it's fucking on. It's just on. He's in turbo kill mode. Now the characters seem to have guns. In this whole movie, no one really had a gun. Now everyone has a shotgun. Things have escalated.

Things have escalated. Yes. He breaks into the guy's mansion, to Ben Gazzar's mansion, like takes out the goons one by one. He becomes Michael Myers in this last part of the movie. You don't see him until he jumps out and kills the guys. It's really cool. It just changed, you know, you're following the goons around and then Swayzey's jumping out and killing them. It's fucking great.

It's awesome. Okay, so he pushes a stuffed polar bear on top of a guy. That'll come back. And he gets into the final fight with Ben Gazzara. And I turned away for a second, maybe to write something down. And I looked up and Ben Gazzara had a spear. And I'm like, sure. Yeah.

Why not? Why not? It doesn't matter. He's got that villainous, like, character that's like a dentist who goes and kills tigers on a safari. Yeah, he's got a fucking. big game hunting room. He's got all of his like taxidermied fucking polar bears and shit.

It's like this guy. I hope he washes his hands after touching. I hope he washes his hands too. You don't know what's on that bird. But yeah, it is it's, he throws a spear at it. And the funny thing about the spear fight and this whole end fight is

Ben Ghazari is like old. And but because he is a an end fight, he's a boss. They're like, well, he's got to have more XP than most. So he ends up being pretty good at fighting the hero of the movie, which is very funny to me. Yeah. Wouldn't he just beat the living shit out of him? It's like, no, he's actually really good at fighting.

That's how he became boss. It's very stupid, but I love it. I know. And so Swayzey prepared, he gets the best of him. He prepares the throat rip. He has his fingers ready to rip. Yeah. And then the doctor comes down and Swayze decides he can't do it.

Yeah, not again. He's already, he's already scared her once. Yeah. No juices on the throat rip. No, it's a one a day. It's a one a day situation. Single deuce. It's throat rip.

Throat rip, piss, shit. That's right. Piss, throat rip. That's right. And then, so then he doesn't kill him, but he doesn't have to because everyone from the town comes in and blows away Ben Gazzaro with shotguns. Yeah. Love it. Love it.

They all do it. It's so great. Murder on the Orient Express. Press level logic here. Yeah, they all did it. They all did it. None of us did it. And then the cops come in, they all say, I didn't see nothing.

And then the goon who had the polar bear fall on him says, a polar bear fell on me. And that's the last line of the movie. It is. That was so funny. And the doctor's skinny dipping. But that's the last line of the movie is, a polar bear fell on me. It is. What an incredible line to end the entire movie.

I mean, I did kind of like that. So the townies. there was like another scene where they're all just like, we can't stand up to this guy. He owns the whole town. So the only way to get rid of this guy is to kill him. And like, and they all did it together.

Yeah. Together. That's masculinity right there. There you go. Togetherness. It's working together. It's togetherness murder. It's community.

And it's not snitching. It's not snitching. It's 100%. Yeah. Well, that is Roadhouse. Hunker down. This is going to be quite the hunk watch. It's Hunk Watch.

My God. What do we do? Swayze is in the rafters, right? We know that he is, the person that the word hunk was created for, perhaps. Right. Like, he's the alpha and the omega. So we can maybe just assume he's one of the greatest hunks of all time. Right, he's got a retired jersey.

We can't just, yeah, we can't give the MVP to Michael Jordan every year, you know. But however, Sam Elliott is another. in the rafters for us in free with heads. Like frogs. He's a hunk. We had, oh shit, tombstone. We've got like,

he's our hunk for a lot of stuff. And I think, I mean, catch me if I'm wrong, freebies. Let me know. But I definitely voted for him more than I voted for Swayze. And I'm going to do it again, baby. Okay. Yeah, fair enough.

Fair enough. It's Sam Elliott, but especially when he's got the half up, half down ponytail, when he's got just the top part his hair in a ponytail than the other part hanging down. Oh my God. He is a, I have a lot of crushes on bartenders and it's very ill, like, advised because they're just doing their job and they make you feel like you're special, but that's because they want money. And that's exactly what they

should do, but I think they're all in love with me. And, um, and then if I saw him in a bar, I would be like, please, please, I'll do anything. Kick, kick me out, daddy. Yeah. Kick me in the taint, daddy. Anything you want, please. Get me with a pool cue. He's so hot. I'll give the little shout out to Red. I think Red is a real nice. Total hunk. Matt, any thoughts?

Mine is Jeff Healy. Oh, yeah. He's great. This is the first time I was introduced to him. I had no idea who he was. And then when he's singing in the movie and he's blind and he's playing a guitar in his lap. And I'm just like. Singing his ass off.

Like truly a voice that made me say, whoa. And I have no idea who the fuck this guy is. I had to look him up on fucking Wikipedia just to be like how did I just miss a whole guy? He is incredible. He is hot. The soundtrack his whole

thing is incredible. Yeah, the soundtrack is him and he is kind of good at acting. It's crazy. It makes no sense. I don't know who this wonderful man is, but I thought he was the hottest. But also, Sam Elliot, when he showed his scar

and it was really close to his dick, I was like, oh no. Word. I'm alone. Oh, man, I know. I'm just like, there's something about this guy. Show it. Yeah, come on.

Oh, yeah, the cum gutters. Don't they call it that? Yeah, nice cumgons. DeAngelo's word de angeloing. Also, Kathleen Willoite or Willoite or whatever, how you pronounce her date, like, she is a total hunk, I think. She's a hunk, too. She's great.

She's our girl. She's like, cool chicks. Cool chick. who works at a bar, very scrappy female character. Even guy who got his fucking throat ripped out. He was a hunk too. I had a difficult time with that because we hate him. I know.

He is evil, but... Also, you got a hunk taken out of your neck, so you're automatically not going to win the hunkwash. You got to keep all the hunks in your neck in order to make it. All right. Well, we already took a little break to talk about the MaxFund Drive.

We'll remind you one more time, maximum fun.org, slash join, but let's roll right into those ratings. Maybe I'll go first, Emily and then Matt, as the first timer. I think we all, maybe most want to hear what you think about it. Yes, listen, I don't want to be the guy who just goes and fucking gives out tens all willy-nilly, but it's a fucking tent. It's real house. It's so much fun to watch.

It's all of this stuff we said. It is the best parody, but also the best action movie. Yeah, I mean, obviously it is like sleazy and has some, like, you know, stuff in it. If you're kind of squeamish about, you know, kind of. sexual stuff, I think that, you know, maybe this is one you can skip. But yeah, if you're like, if you're down for the sleaze, if you're down for, you know, the most 80s-tastic thing you've ever seen, uh, Roadhouse. It's obviously legendary.

And if you haven't seen it, it is a fucking blast. Emily, what do you think? I'm with you on this, Jordan. It's a tippy 10 for me. Um, it just feels like a free with ads classic. It's like, it's something about the, um, the, the, the smutiness. the griminess that like it's just fun. If you put it on, you're going to be entertained.

Yes, it is very violent, but I feel like it handles the violence in a way that doesn't feel realistic. No, it's a cartoon. It's a cartoon. So you're able to go on the ride. Also, it's a super masculine movie, but it is eye candy for people who are attracted to a man. And people who are not always attracted.

It's just hot. The whole thing is hot. It's a hot movie. These are the most good-looking human. beings in a movie I've ever seen. There ain't no ugos in this movie. Ain't one. Ain't one.

Not the one. So yeah, I love it. Matt, your first time. You've never, you've only seen the bad remake. I've only seen the Jillen Hall one. I have to give this a 10 as well. This was, I think, of all the movies that I've watched on this show, this was the first time that I was introduced to one that I was.

I think is perfect. It's like one of those, I mean, because like I've been introduced to a lot of movies on here that I think are good or fine or whatnot. But this one I was like, it was, it's like someone that you meet that you're like, oh man, this is like meeting an old friend. This is a movie I had not seen. I'd only seen clips of it. And immediately, as soon as it started, that warm feeling of that comfort movie that you watch just because it's on. like a Shawshank Redemption or whatever. Like that's what it felt like to me.

And it's rare for me to have a movie that becomes grandfathered in as like a comfort film. But this was one. I loved it from beginning to end. Yeah, definitely background of a party classic too. You got this on. Oh, yeah.

I've been in so many bars that have Roadhouse on the TV. And you can't stop looking at it. I've probably only seen it as something that's been at the, you know, the TV at a bar and I just went, oh, this looks like a cheesy, shitty movie. That's what I thought it was going to be kind of cheesy, kind of shitty, but it's like a hot, you know, Patrick Swayze. It had every reason to be a shitty movie. It had every like, like, you know, they could have just made a shitty movie and everyone still want to see it. It might be. By a metric it is, but like, I don't know.

That's not what our show is about. Show is not about if it's good or bad. It's fucking free. And you should watch it. It's about how many commercials would I watch? Are you willing to watch? 10. There you go.

You can pepper this motherfucker with 10 commercials. And I'll still watch it. All Flo's weird friends she has now. We are not film critics. We are critics of a good time. That's right. Like if you want to know how to have a good time, we're your boys right here. Red, rogue, and double deuce.

That's right. The three musketeer. Reporting for double-ducee doury. Oh, yeah. We're dozing on the toilet. Poop is poo. Um, well, thank you. We'll remind you once again,

maximum fun.org slash join. Hey, if you want us to keep making poop jokes and talking about Patrick Swayze movies, help us out. Maximumfund. org slash join. Uh, let's do a little plug in. Uh, anybody got anything? Hmm.

I don't actually. I mean, the, the, um, the, um, Flim Jim stuff, you guys. I'm going to be doing my best in the next couple of months to be more consistent. But also, I will have a cool announcement coming up in the next couple months. So stay tuned. Stay tuned. Cool announcement.

April 23rd, I will be at the Ice House in Pasadena. Come out to the Ice House. April 23rd, 7 p.m. I will be doing stand up at New World Disorder with my wife, Francesco Fuerentini. Check that out. Great lineups on those shows. Great lineups. Great lineups.

We got the Sklar brothers this month. Hey. Oh shit. Two funniest dudes. They are funny. Yeah, I'll tell you about a couple of comic book things. Predator Bloodshed. Issues 1 and 2 are out.

Issue 3 out soon. I think issue 3 is my favorite. Issue 3 gets fucking wild. It goes hard. We get a little backstory for the cybernetically enhanced professional wrestler character. It's a ton of fun. If you're not reading this series, please, please do. Predator Blood Jet at your local comic book store.

The Amazing Spider-Man Spider-Versity, the new series I am co-writing with Joe Kelly, about all your favorite spidey heroes. That comes out on April 22nd. I will be signing comics at Golden Apple Comics in Hollywood, 11-2 on the day it comes out, April 22nd. On April 24th from 5 to 8 p.m.,

I will be at Things from Another World at the beautiful Universal City Walk. So come on down, grab a comic. get a drink at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. And on May 2nd, I am going to be at Collectors Paradise in Pasadena, 11 p.m. to 1 p.m. for free comic book day. So it is at your, whatever your local comic book store is, they're probably doing free comic book day, lots of cool stuff, including a predator comic written by me that ties into bloodshed.

So wherever you are, you can grab this thing. Check out your local shop. And if you're in the LA area, make that shop, Collectors Paradise in Pasadena, 11, 2, 1. Okay. Next week, week two of the Max Fun Drive. We're sorry. Prepare to cry.

Our movie will be the never-ending story. Ah, Tex! Wham! We're! Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artists-owned shows. Supported.

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