Free With Ads - Silent Hill, with Gwynedd Stuart

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

Today we welcome our friend Gwynedd Stuart to the podcast to talk about the 2006 video game movie Silent Hill, starring Sean Bean and guy with a pyramid on his face. Next week is the start of July-brary where we watch movies we rented with our library card! Tune in next week when our movie will be... True Grit (2010) ----- Listen to Gwynedd's music trivia gameshow Musical Puke.  Pre-order signed copies of Jordan's new comic book series "The Amazing Venom" here at bit.ly/goofriends   Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinfreewithads

This is free with ads, the podcast that asked the question, why pay a movie theater 20 bucks for a ticket to see a big screen adaptation of your favorite video game when you can go online for free and see a video game movie that might not make sense, but really is a ham sandwich Nebraska Toyota Camry hippopotamus medicated ceiling fan. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Silent Hill, the supernatural horror movie about guilt, generational trauma, and what it's probably like to go to a spirit Halloween on mushrooms?

With us as always is the super producer, the he freak Matt Lebe, hitting us with those hard-to-parse drops. You stupid cop. Fuck you, stupid cop. Yeah. That was my favorite part. It was just a great line. And hey, you heard her talking.

I might as well introduce her. She's with us today. She's a very special pal. You know her from Good Mythical Morning, Spork and her music trivia game show musical Puke. It's Gwynedd Stewart. Hi, Gwen. Hi, my friends.

You're here. I'm so happy to be here. We're going to talk about Silent Hill. We can't wait. We're champing. My favorite four-hour movie I've ever seen. Your favorite four-hour, two-hour movie? It's like Ishtar, but worse.

Yeah. Hey, we're going to talk about Silent Hill, but first we're going to get to know our guest. in the segment we call Talk to Guest. Talk to Guest. So, Gwitted, you have a new-ish music trivia game show. It's called Musical Puk. Were you a game show trivia person before starting this show? I sure am.

Did you know I was on Jeopardy? No, I fucking didn't. Yeah, I was. You've been on some other game shows, too, haven't you? Yeah. Okay, wait, you were on, like, regular person Jeopardy? I was on regular person Jeopardy. Jeopardy?

When Alex Trebek was still with us. Wow. Still in the land of the living. Feather in your cap. Yeah. How'd you do? Hey, not good. But thanks for asking.

Just to like get there, you have to pass a bunch of tests and stuff. Oh, you do? Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was like Price is right. If you look like a weirdo, they go, ah, he probably knows. He probably knows something. Get behind this podium.

Tell us about Guam. They actually didn't make me take any of the tests because I looked like such a weirdo. They just kind of... Well, those brainiacs probably knows a bunch of weird stuff. No, it was great. That's so cool. And then two other...

I was on two other, like, game show network game shows. Which ones? One's called Chain Reaction. Okay. It was on in the early 2000s and then was like off for a long time and then it came back in like the 2020, 2010? 20 teens? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I was my all ages punk venue growing up. Oh my God. Cool. Wait, that's in Orange County.

It's in Orange County. It's in Orange County. Cool. Recently closed, RIP. Oh, I know. That's right. God, that's sad. I hate hearing stuff like that.

It makes me sick. And then I was on another one. God, this is so crazy. I can never remember the name of the show. I really can't. Was it Wheel of Fortune? No. It was another trivia show.

Was it that one where people had sex in the box? Did you remember that one? Yeah. No. I do. Was it called sex in a box? I don't think it was called sex in a box. Oh, yeah.

You're talking about fuck box on box. I'm not talking. It's not called. I think that's what it was. Right. Anyway. I do not remember this one. Matt, would you find out the name of the Sexbox show?

I'm going to continue letting Gwen and plug her. I was going to say, will you Google what game show? Yeah. Also, find out what game show. Was this the most recent one that you did? Because you did one really recently, I remember. Yeah, it was a few years ago. Oh, I thought it was one while you were, you and I were at Mythical.

No, it was before, it was before Mythical. What's the biggest thing you've won on a game? show. I think we won a chain reaction. I think we won, it was a team of three, but we won like $13,000. What? Yeah. We like won the game.

It was so fun. My husband, Tim, and my friend Allie. Did you have to split the money? Yeah. That's too bad. I know. I tried to kill them, but they didn't die. I was going to save.

It feels like a hard to kill. Weirdly hard to kill. Sexbox 20. Yeah. Did we find out the name of that show? I'm going to be real with you. there is a show in Britain called Sexbox. And I don't think it's that, right?

Maybe we had an American version, like how we got the office, you know? Yeah, it doesn't look like there is... The problem is I've typed in Sexbox reality show, and it's like, here you go. Yeah, you're just getting porn up. Here you go. Sure.

It's just somebody stuck in a washing machine. Yeah, that's what I call the Sexbox now. I don't use this to clothes anymore. Just for stepmoms to get stuck in. Anyway, that's porn now. So this is cool. So musical puke is a, it's music trivia with famous rock stars. It is.

We have bands on and we do little trivia quizzes for them and it's so fun. We've had like some really fun good bands on. We had like Thursday and minus the bear. And we have some really good ones coming up too. Like Walter Shrifles who is. I don't know that person, but fucking great name. Hey, heard of girls. Briella Biscuits.

Yes. Oh, cool. Quicksand? Yes. Neat. That's great. I know. Shannon Shaw, yeah, we've had, like, lots of really cool people on.

It really is helpful to, like, when you have, like, a podcast that's, like, new and not a lot of people listen to if your husband's, like, been in a band for 30 years. Yes, your husband and co-host is a rock musician. I guess that's important info, yeah. So my husband's name is Tim Casher. He's a lead singer, a band called Curson. And yeah, we're co-hosts of this program. I think I've heard of course it. I didn't know that, Matt.

They opened for a sex box on the Warstor. Right before the birth ramp demonstration. Oh, that rule. Do you have music trivia areas where you're, where are you weak in and what are you strong in? Oh, I don't know. That's the thing. Like, I feel like I know what I know. It's kind of, that's the way it is for everyone.

We ask the bands in advance. Like, hey, like, what are you kind of know? know about? Like what, like, what era are you most familiar with? Because you do. You, you know what you know. And then other things, you're just like, I have no clue. Like, if anyone asked me about classical music, I wouldn't know anything about it. But we don't do that to people. I did ask a question about the Boston Pops recently, and it really went over poorly. Okay. This is an Acapella group. No, my mom? No, like a symphony, like, conducted by Arthur Fiedler. So now you know that. So now you can be on musical puk and you'll know the answer to that question. So you're all prepped now. I'm going to say,

I'm going to answer every question like that because it's not exactly wrong because I'm not saying. Anyway. Listen, if you're ever able to have people on who are not in a band, we would love to be on and talk about movie soundtracks. I really, really think that's a good idea. Because we're very, we're very into movie soundtracks. We do rounds about movie soundtracks. They're good. Yeah, but then sometimes people are just like, why are you asking us about like we've had, I've had a contestant say like, huh, that seems like more of a movie question. Gwen, thank you for this

beautiful segue. What are some of your favorite movie soundtrack? Yeah. The movies and we'll talk about the movie. Some of my favorite

movie soundtracks. The first one that popped into my head is an embarrassing one, but I'm going to say it anyway. Oh my God. I loved the wedding singer soundtrack.

Oh, it's a great soundtracks. When I was like in high school, I was like, this is, I mean, they got really, they used to have budgets. Yeah. Sure. For like music and movies.

It was pretty. Because, you know, back in the day, you couldn't just have a playlist on streaming. You had to have a movie that was like, here's some songs you might like. Yeah, I think that is so lost on the generation after us is how big movie soundtracks were to our music consumption. Because it was the value. You got so many bands with one CD from Tower Records. So that's like part of like, so my wheelhouse especially is like clueless soundtrack and Romeo and Juliet soundtrack. Those are two of like the hottest.

hits of the 90s? I saw band, not super recently, it was a couple of years ago, but I, I wasn't sure if I was going to stay for them. They're called Dimber.

Have you heard of Dimber? I haven't, no. Dimper's great, and they listed their name on the flyer, or their genre as clueless soundtrack core. I'm like,

well, I'm staying for this. And it totally was. It like fucking fit perfectly. I'm like, this is, anyway. I love that as a genre. Yeah,

I can listen to that soundtrack all the way through. It's great. Nothing but hits. Nothing but hits. I know. I think we, yeah, around that was about clueless soundtrack or Romeo and Juliet soundtrack and it was just like

wasn't in the real house. Any time that there's a list of like people go, what is the best movies? The Romeo and Juliet soundtrack is always on there because it is solid. Clueless two Radiohead songs on the... Really? Well, I don't know if it's on the soundtrack. It's in the movie. Oh.

Romeo and Juliet had Radiohead too. And Radiohead had one radio head song in Romeo and Julian. Look at that. They were everywhere. That soundtrack is the reason why I got into God. garbage. Oh, yeah. You know much about garbage.

Big movie soundtrack band garbage. Yeah. That's such a good one. I learned, can I share some music trivia with you guys? Yay. That would be so fun. Okay. So I learned this kind of recently when I was working on a game.

Tim and I write all of the questions ourselves. And it's actually kind of time consuming, but we learn things. So we like it. So do you know where Radiohead got the name for the album, Pablo Honey? Oh, I actually don't. And I feel embarrassed. Matt's the radiohead guy. It's a source of a little bit of tension.

I'm an anti-radiohead guy. Emily does not like them. No. Matt likes them. Uh-uh. Huh. And I'm medium. Okay.

Yeah. And yeah, I think I'm, I'm enthusiastic, but not like they're like my favorite band. It's crazy that I don't know this. Yeah, but yeah, Pablo, honey,

that was kind of their big, like, we broke out radio song album. Yeah. Creep is on there. It was like, it was like the album where everyone was like,

ah, they're just a one-hit wonder. And then... What was Karma police on? That was on OK computer. Yeah. Yeah, that's the only one I know, the name of... That's a good one.

So where Pablo Honey come from? A jerky boy's sketch. No way. Isn't that crazy? Really? They should have called it sizzle chest. Sometimes. Sometimes I learn things while we're working on the games and I'm like, certainly that can't be true.

Because you can't, like, can you trust the internet anymore? That's very true. Remember how it used to be like, Wikipedia is not a real source. And now it's just like, no, I think that's about the best that we have. In theory, that's still made by people. Well, my favorite source is now to go on YouTube and watch vlogs about something. And then watch people in the comments duke it out over which thing is real or fake. And then looking up those facts to cross-reference.

And then I end up actually learning something. I love that. That's exactly how the Internet should be used in the. this day and age, unfortunately. This is Emily's version of reading both the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. Yeah. It's getting both sides. Never done either of those fucking things. You've read full comment section replies that were just people fighting and threatening

the docks each other. No, it was like, so I, after watching this Silent Hill movie, which we're about to talk about, I was kind of like, there's video game references in here because there's things in this movie that I'm like, I don't understand why this is in here. So I thought, oh, if I look up some of the video game lore and it was really interesting, to look up some of it, because I'm not a gamer, but, and it was fun to watch people kind of arguing about what things were referencing and whatever.

I'm really glad you did that. Because I kept being like, you should look up game stuff and learn what's from the game, and I never did. Yeah, I'll never play a game. But I like watching other people play them, and I like learning about lore of games when other people talk to me about it. Wow.

Yeah. Well, hey, wonderful segue. We are going to talk about Silent Hill, but before we do, we want to let you know that this movie features sexual assault. So if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, we're going to play a little music and give you a chance to find another episode. Hi, everyone, we're back. It's Free With Edge.

We're here with Gwynette Stewart. Yes. And we are talking about Silent Hill. All right. Let's do a little check in before we talk about the actual movie. Who's seen this and has anyone played the Associated Video Games? Emily, you are super hot to watch. You've been hot to watch this movie for a while.

Yeah, I've never seen it. I've watched people talk about it, and I like watching people talk about the lore of the video games and stuff. But I always wanted to see it, and people were like, oh, it's pretty spooky. And I was like, you call this spooky? This is something else. This is another thing. Well, some people are scared when they're confused. Yeah.

And I think those people find this movie scary to be confused. I'm scared all the time. Right. But I always wanted to see it, and I find it to be interesting. I love stuff about like, you know, is it Resident Evil and this? These games have been around forever and people always talk about how scary the game is. So you're like, is that going to translate into a horror movie?

And I was excited to watch this. It feels like a free with ads movie. Yes, absolutely. In many ways. Gwinnig, you had seen this before, right? I definitely saw this when I came out. Yeah. Like, I was pretty.

I would have been like a year out of college. A woman. A tax-paying woman. And yeah, I would have been like, I would have gone to the movies to see this because it looked like pretty spooky, right? Yeah, I mean, fun. I mean, I bet this makes a mean, I bet this makes a mean, I bet this makes it great. If you have some slowed down song, what song would have been hot in 2002, 2006 that you could slow down. There you go.

That should be perfect. How did you come up with that that quickly? That was so perfect. Well, oddly enough that he's going to kill on musical puke. But literally about like a town that. burned down. Well, yeah, I mean... Oh, it's getting hot in here.

So rip off all your skin. I mean, Ring of Fire is like their only... Oh, that's the only needle drop. It's so fucking on the night. I know. I'm like, wow, they had a little budget. Little budget.

Yeah. Blowing it on one song. It's just going to be a bunch of foghorns. So yeah, I did... I had kind of sort of seen this. I watched it as this, you know, I'm in my 20s when this comes out.

So I'm going over to my shitty friend's house, and we're doing bad movie nights. Ha, ha, ha, ha. We're so funny. And so this was like a bad movie night thing. So, you know, I feel like I've kind of half, I recognize some things, but a lot of this felt brand new to me.

So, you know, we were probably drinking and talking. So anyway, this was a half new movie to me. And I've played a little bit of some of the games, and I always bounce off them. They're too boring. Anyways. God, even the games is boring. The games are real slow,

and I just need to shoot something. And it seems like based on what I've learned, the storytelling and the lore of this is so complicated and weird that they did it. They say that they did an okay job simplifying it for this movie, like somewhat. Yeah. But yeah. We'll see. They simplified it by not doing any exposition. They just did nothing.

They throw your right in, huh? Yeah, they do throw you in and they just kind of go like, I don't know, you're going to be walking around for a while. Matt, had you seen this movie or played any of these guys? I had not seen this movie. The game looks sort of familiar, especially a triangle guy. Yeah, it's my pyramid head. It's very Hellraiser-esque, though. I think a lot of the game was probably inspired by Hellraiser.

Yeah. Yeah, totally. But the triangle guy looked familiar. I feel like maybe I played an arcade game version of this. I don't know. The whole time I was like, I want to play Time Crisis. That was a good ass game, dude. You get to step on a pedal.

You step on a pedal. It's fun to step on a pedal. It's fun to step on a pedal. Is there a movie of Time Crisis? Probably not. think so. Let's make one. Let's do it. Matt, get Namco Bandai on the phone. We got a pitch. It's all pedal stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's while you're watching the movie, you can stop watching the movie by letting go of the pedal. All right, and go get some pizza. All right. Well, let's talk about Silent Hill. We start with a hysterical woman running around. This is Rose. And she is screaming, Sharon, Sharon. I hope you like that because that's half the fucking dialogue in this movie.

is this woman screaming Sharon. And what like a assistant office manager name to give to a haunted girl? So that's my mom's name. So while... It's okay for moms. I was immediately scared because I'm like, Mommy, something wrong with Mommy.

Where's Mommy? So her daughter, Sharon, is missing. She finds a bear. Fucking bad sign when you find the bear. And her daughter is on the edge of a cliff. And while she's there, we see, is it a hallucination? We don't know. The cliff turns into like a barbed wire factory.

But they save the daughter before she jumps off the cliff into the whatever. And the daughter is saying something about Silent Hill. Silent Hill. So later on, they're hugging in a field. And she asked the daughter about Silent Hill. Daughter has no memory of it, you know, total fugue state. the girl's coloring are, I wonder if the drawings are going to turn creepy in some point. They do.

She's doing a normal drawing, but soon they'll be creepy kid drawings. This movie does that kind of thing. So anyway, so the mom's solution to her daughter's fugue state where she wanders to the edges of cliffs is they're going to find Silent Hill and go there. Crazy idea. Doesn't that seem like the most obvious thing to do? Yes. Go to a place where my daughter clearly experienced trauma. Let's go.

Don't bring your husband. Don't tell him where you're going. No, do not so. Well, don't tell Sean Bean because he'll die. Yeah. Sean Bean plays the dad and spoiler alert weirdly does not die in this. Does it. And he was, I guess, added into the movie after the fact because there were production notes.

Because they said there's no men in this movie. That's funny. Okay. That was my number one note about this movie. I was like, this is a Beckdale movie. Like this for sure passes the Bectal test. I know. Oh my God.

That's almost all funny. Sure. Yeah. Well, I guess they... Some say pyramid head is the ultimate girl boss. Oh, she ate. She ain't. She ain't.

Yes, Mama. Slay, Mama. Yeah, no, they just added it towards the end there, which is like why you just see him wandering around. I mean, it makes, I mean, nothing in this movie makes sense, but that fact makes sense because he does not affect the story. I don't. at all.

At all. No reason for him to be there. Okay. It's weird that they added him in post. They liked, the fact that they added him meant that they could add this cop character. That's what I was going to say. So the man was added to, probably. He added some exposition kind of a little bit to the background of what happened.

So they were able to, because yes, this movie is a little confusing. So there's a little bit of dribblings of information from that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yes, everyone's acting. Tingia's so weird.

My favorite thing about Sean Bean being in this is that he sometimes plays an American and then sometimes he's Scottish. Here is just one of my favorite line reads that he does. Nine years ago, a baby was left outside this orphanage. My wife and I were the ones who adopted her. I just straight up like,

A baby. A baby. Nine years ago, a page in my belly is what I did to the baby. Yeah, baby. All I can think of when I hear his voice is in Game of Thrones when he's talking to Circey Lannister and he goes, your brother or your lover. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, just let the guy fucking have it. Didn't it like the last Lord of the Rings movie come out like a year before this? Yeah, that's true. Wow. I mean, he would have been a fucking huge get here probably for this movie. He would have been like on top of the world ostensibly. This is a crazy role. Maybe this was shot a little bit.

before that. I don't know. And it did come out for a while. I have no idea. But yeah. So mother-daughter exposure therapy. That's where we're going to do. Yeah. So we're going to Silent Hill. We make a little stop at a rest stop. Did anyone see the sign with the services

that this rest stop? I wrote them all down. I love them. If you look at the exterior, they're in a diner. But this diner also has, Gwen, let me know if I'm missing anything, a notary, live tattoos and body piercing. You can get all of that done

at this one place. Cigarettes and tires. Don't forget those. Oh, right. Cigarettes and tires, too. Truly a one-stop shop. I was so obsessed with it. I mean, take me there. Can we? Yeah, is Smitty's real.

Back when America was great. Mac, Google a Smitties is real. Oh, take me back. Too bad it's not a bar. We could add it to. I know. Add it to our favorite movie bars. You could get a drink at Smitties. Yeah, I mean, you could definitely go get it somewhere else and bring it in.

Yeah, Smitties is fine. They could B-Y-O-B that shit. Oh, yeah. You can do anything you want at Smitties, clearly. Yeah, it's all. Yeah, Smitties is annexed from the United States. Smitties is an independent nation. Sovereign.

It's just burning man, fucking 24-7 at Smitty. No shirt, no shoes, extra service. Yeah. I'm the president. No problem. The president of Smitties. Yes. all the girls have to be naked All right, Mr. President.

So yeah, outside Smitties, she, Rose gets accosted by a lady cop who is dressed all in leather. It's so hot. You can tell she has a bang and bod. And she has like her helmet and glasses on, but you could tell full face of makeup. It seems like she's going to a bachelor party

to say like there's a bunch of, bad boys in here who are double part. But then I started looking at stuff of the video game and she looks just like the character in the game. Oh, funny. I guess I didn't know she was a character from the game. So there were things in this that I kind of went, okay, there's these slutty nurse things.

This just must be in the game. This hot cop, she must be hot in the game. And so I just, every type of thing didn't make sense. I mean, all cops are beautiful. Especially this one. Um, and Bucksum. Oh, Bucksum. That's a better be for this particular cop.

Yeah. Do you get out tickets for motorboating? Anyway, this is what the... They do have live bait. They do have live bait? They're taking your motorboat. What happened at the end there? I got sick of it.

What are my doing? He choked out some jugs. Sure. Motorboated into just straight up eating. Gm-g-gum-gum-gum. So anyway, the hot cops after... And she becomes a literal hot. cop later in the movie.

Oh shit. Spoiler-less. Ouch. Anyway, so they get to Silent Hill and it's like it's this kind of cloudy town with ash raining down constantly. Well, they almost hit a kid. Oh, yeah, they almost hit a kid. Right. So she almost hits a kid in the street that causes her to like bump her head when they wake up full Silent Hill.

Yeah. Silent Hill looks pretty cool. Yes, it does. I think the people who like this movie are like drawn to the style stuff. Some of it looks cool. And just particularly when they get out and it's a bunch of ash, it looks kind of cool. It looks like it was fashioned off of the current state of my ceiling fan blades.

Sick. If I turn on my ceiling fan, it's just full on silent. Just real quick. You know, there's a sting that I've been dying. Oh, yeah. When the kid is in the road. So I've. Oh, yeah.

We have a sting for people being in the road. That's right. Here it is. Person in the road. Who is driver doesn't see. And he accidentally is hit by a car. There we go. I forgot about that sting.

It's been almost a year. I've been like, come on. Somebody almost getting by a car. I thought this was a movie trope. Apparently, it's barely in anything. So yeah, so they're in Silent Hill. and she's looking around. There's an air raid siren.

She sees somebody kind of strung up with their guts out. That's pretty scary. And then a bunch of baby zombies attack them. And they disintegrate for some reason, randomly. Stuff just happens in this. I don't know why they disintegrate. And that's when we get the ring of fire drop. So she's kind of on this day-night cycle.

So she'll periodically pass out and wake up. And then the air raid signals that things are about to get spooky. comes and then goes away in these cycles. It's like demon periods. Yes. Demon menstruation. I'm going to be real nasty for a week. Yeah, exactly.

When she woke up after the spicy babies, she was in this super cool bowling alley and I was like, sick. Island Hill might be a nice place for a long weekend. Yeah. Unwind. So yeah, so Sean Bean is looking for them. He goes to the garage. he needs a will notarized and a septum piercing.

He learned about a coal fire that closed down the town. So that's that every's like, I get the silent hill. Like a coal fire closed it down. It's a closed town. Anyway, back in Silent Hill, Rose and Hot Cop are looking around for the girl, a big torso monster.

How would you, I'm calling it a torso monster. Does you might know what this? I think, I don't know what there. It's just got. There's legs, but no arms and no neck and no face. And he's got venom. Yeah, it spits like acid blood or something.

Yeah. Real video game ass character. Totally. Yeah. This is just like, oh, cool. That's cool. It scared the shit out of me, kind of.

And then like the acid spitting thing. I was like, oh, fuck. This is going to be action. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some of the monsters, the monsters do look like the CGI is bad, but bad in a stylized way. In a stylish way, yes.

So, you know, I think it looks, it could look bad, but kind of. they lean into creepy and sometimes it works. It looks cool. I think it looks cool. What's realistic about any of this? Sure. Yeah, I know. Have you ever been to West Virginia?

No. Is that where this is that? I didn't know this is. Yeah. It is. But they keep saying Toluca Lake, so I'm like, wait a minute. It is very confusing. How many times they say Toluca Lake?

Touluca Lake means a lot to Angelinos. It's a neighborhood in our San Fernando Valley where you go to where you go to eat at the Bob's big boy. Exactly. Tulsa Lake is just nice and suburban. It's a nice place. I was confused. I was like, damn, is everything set in California? She goes, West Virginia, and I'm like, okay.

But yeah, you don't have to make anything look real. Like a condom man, a man who just looks like he's made out of condom with legs. Yeah, just make it look like that. I don't know. Sure. Anyway, so she goes into a gross, oh, there's a witch lady. There's a witch lady who's screaming at them and talking about Alessa. She's giving it a performance.

Yep. Have you guys seen cats? Yes. The movie? Like either the movie or the stage show. She looks like Grizabella. Yeah. Emily, she does look like Grizzabella.

And then it's crazy that there's a character called Christabella in this movie. I was like, what? Who's Christabella? She's the evil priestess. The main bad lady. That's so crazy. I didn't even think about that. I know.

Connections. Connections. It is. But Grisabella is the one who sings. Drew Lloyd Weber's Silent Hill. We're going to go to Silent Hill. Silent here Hill superstar. So, okay, she goes into a creepy bathroom.

We see another gross body with wires. And so she sees the gross body and her immediate thought is, let's reach in the mouth. That's the most fucking video game logic shit. I know. That's part of, okay, so I, I, I saw that that is part of like the puzzles that happen in Silent Hill. They put things in gross places. Yeah.

And of course, when you're playing the game, you know, well, they put that there because something's there. Yeah. But she just knows. And maybe that's the way to watch this movie is like she knows she's in a video game. Yeah. I was going to say because otherwise it's just a woman indulging every bad impulse she's ever had in her entire life.

Reaching the mouth. Oh, I want to slice this. Painting open. Well, it did say, like, double dare you and then, like, pointed an arrow. Oh, I missed that. I missed that. So that makes a little more sense. So this is in, like, a school at this point.

And it's like, so we're kind of, there's maybe the little girl that she was going to hit with the car who looks a lot like her daughter. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. I was going to say. Sharon. Oh, my God.

I got to find me, Mommy. I'm in the silent hill, mommy. That's perfect I just kept thinking about Stan Marsh's dad Randy on South Park because their wife is Sharon Sharon

I was thinking Why do you take his pants off Sean Bean is like the action version of Kenny isn't he? Oh yeah Oh my God you killed Sean Bean You bastards Can we get a T-shirt of like Sean Bean

doing the many deaths of Kenny and he's got the little hoodie on and everything Oh my God you killed Sean Bean I mean, you bastard. You would make a million dollars on T public with that. Yes, you would. Oh, my God. Maybe that's how they sold this to Sean Bean.

You're like, hey, you want to be in this video game movie? We won't kill you. I know. He's like, okay. Oh, all right. I'm listening. Last man standing. I get to live throughout the whole thing.

And do fuck all. I'm not to sleep on the couch. As long as I don't have to do. And I don't have to have a wife. Sleep like a baby. Sleep like a baby. Anyway, so, okay, so once she gets the, whatever, the blue key for level five out of the mouth of the guy, things start going crazy. Reality starts melting down.

Bugs start going everywhere. And that's when we see our boy, pyramid head. He's buff. He's got a steel pyramid for the head, and he's got a bunch of swords. Cool. Okay. He's electric. I think I'd, listen, I think I, I'm, spoiler for Hunkwatch.

Anytime pyramid heads on screen, I'm like, this guy's got his. 100%. This kid's got, got jazz, baby. Give him a five-picture contract. I want to see him in a drama. Right. I want to see him in a comedy. Yeah, no, he is great.

It was the one time in the movie where I felt like I was getting what I paid for. You know what I mean? because I'm like, what is this game? I don't understand it. I don't understand. I get that you're looking for Sharon, but what is happening? Yeah, you build that.

So boring. Her name is Cheryl in the game. I don't know why they fucking changed it. That's really funny. I know. I don't know what that is. And I guess in the game... Executive's kids named Sharon or something.

That's my kid's name. We're going to say it's Sherin. It's supposed to be Sean Bean, who's in the main part of the game. But like in the movie, he should have done it. But I guess the writer decided that there was so many

maternal themes in this story that he was writing he goes it makes sense for it to be women I like that the writer made one decision right I mean I would argue that this movie is full of decisions I think they made a lot of them did you guys know that did you guys know that the guy who wrote this movie wrote a little he co-wrote a little movie called Pulp Fiction yeah won an Oscar for it are you fucking serious

he did wow and then he killed a guy with his car and went to prison. Whoa. Well, I mean... He was drunk driving. Oh, man. He wrote a lot of stuff. Jeez.

That is wild. Oh, man. Listen, peaks and valleys. Peaks and valleys. A life is full, isn't it? So anyways, Pyrham hits after him. He's swinging his sword. Looks pretty cool.

And he... Describing the plot of this makes me feel crazy. I know. It's really hard to explain. Oh, yeah, the pyramid head guy. I don't know what supposedly all these characters are representations of something that happened in the town. I guess I'll say one thing. The town, this little girl that she's like going to get hit with a car, blah, blah, blah.

This town is full of like religious fanatics who set people on fire. And there's like a vengeful spirit that created this whatever. So all of these things, the monsters are supposed to be representations. of something. Yeah. And I don't know what the hell. Can you explain pyramid head? I cannot.

Okay, that's okay. I can explain. I can explain the other guy who was in the, you know, she had to get the thing out of his mouth. Oh yeah. What's his deal? That's the, I'm going to just go ahead and warn you the stuff we talked about maybe, you know, disturbing.

Okay. So there's this little girl character that you're going to find out about who was treated, bullied and treated like shit in this town full of religious fanatics. and she went and cried in the bathroom and there was a janitor in there who took advantage of a little girl. And so then when this little girl, you know, I guess got powers?

I don't know. She turned him into a monster and now he's like this thing that terrorizes everyone else in the town because she just wants everyone in the town to be tortured because they all tortured her. I do think they deserve it. They do.

They totally deserve it. Seems like a bad town. Bad town. But yeah, they were witch burners this town, supposedly. We'll get into that. But it's like, was this little girl a witch or was she not a witch? Because it certainly seems like she is a witch. Yeah.

Like, every, let's start talking about the weird cultist. Maybe you should have done a better job burning this little girl. Yeah. Like, I don't know. They do fuck up their witch burning. Apparently, for a town that loves witch burnings as much as this town. So, yeah, well, let's get into that part of the movie. We start to this town.

starts to be full of people who look comparatively normal to the melting babies and condom people we've seen. Just quite dusty. They're very dusty. You're right. They're very dusty. And they're all wearing like black kind of veiled clothing and stuff. But yeah, it's and there's a lady

who they find who's looking for supplies or something in her name's Anna and then something very horrible happens to her. Yeah, so Anna and they're saying a lot of very just kind of generic like culty person thing. Like there's a witch. She's impure. Burn the witch. Burn the witch. Burn the witch.

So Rose and Hot Cop are like, let's bring her along. Them bringing her along is so funny. That's very video game because it's probably like you have to bring her along because she knows things or whatever. Exactly. Yeah. If she dies, then you have to go back to the beginning. Yeah, it's an escort mission.

So yeah. So then we kind of learn about some of these culty people that were there. and then they all run to like a church. The town starts melting again when the siren goes off. Where were these people before? What are they doing out of the church? I don't know.

Why would you leave the church? I know. Too scary out there. Maybe I don't know, whatever. And so they start running to the church. Pyramid Head comes back, grabs the... Anna, their buddy or whatever.

And does a one, two, three like you've never seen. Rips off her clothes. rips off her skin and then throws the skin against the door. Now, it was so shocking. I liked it. Now, I'm like, I love this movie.

I'm not made a stone. That's rad. It was so fucking crazy. It really does have its moments, I will say. It was for being such a kind of softball, like movie to getting really fucked up. Because to me,

it's like, this looks like a PG-13. Was it PG-13? It can't have been. It can't be. That has to be rated R. because that was, I mean, I've watched some scary, I love scary movies, watched quite a few, saw backrooms recently, saw the, this was so fucked up.

Yeah. And I think that's part of, like, I think there's a couple of reasons why people are into these movies. And I think that's part of it. I think extreme gore people like that stuff. Well, anyway, hey, so we're kind of like coming on to the conclusion of the movie. Why don't we do this? Let's take a little break, and we'll come back for more. Hey, we're back.

It's Free With Ads. We're here with Gwinnett Stewart. We're talking about Silent Hill. So there's these fanatics. And then Rose gets her mission that her daughter is in the basement of the hospital. Yeah. And so they go to the hospital. A bunch of coal miner guys beat up hot cop pretty bad.

You think she dies. Well, the Grisabella or Christabella, who is like. The leader of them. Jellicle demons. Rip off your skin. And the kitty cat. But no, she's like, we'll help you get to this place, but you'll probably never get out alive. So Christabella, like, brings her there.

And you're like, oh, okay, I guess these weird cult people are going to help them. And then she, like, hands her back her locket, sees the picture of her daughter. Yeah. And goes, it's the reincarnation of the demon. Yeah, Alessa. Alessa. These names. And by the way, I do would have mentioned the Nokia phone necklace that we've got.

Me too. So Rose, the mom, has this like lanyard with a Nokia phone she's wearing all the time. Listen, if you get bored, you want to play snake. I know. I was like, Jen D would love this so much. Well, I was like, that was my first phone. It was kind of cool. And this was 2006.

I had that phone. It was then. It was the phone everyone had that, yes, he played a stanchard. What the fuck, Mom and Dad? I didn't even know that existed. Yeah, her carrying, I'm like, they're going to use his phone for something. They don't. They don't.

She just wears it the whole movie. She calls Sean Bean's character at the very end. Well, no, there's at the beginning, too, and it's jumbled like he can't. Oh, sure. Maybe that's interesting. He can kind of hear it, but not. And so at the end, when she calls him, it's jumbled again and lets you know they didn't make it out. I know, but that's like literally how making cell phone calls was back then.

And it's like, uh-oh, did she have unlimited text? And I bet you the, like, look the, um, out of, out of network calling for Silent Hill is insane. He's going to get that bill and be, I was so pissed. But yeah, no, so there's, they look at the locket and they go, that your daughter and they go, they're trying to stop her. They're trying to stop her from going now to get the daughter because they're like, you're going to bring back this, this witch demon that they set on fire that was a little girl. So yeah, so she's going into the basement of the hospital.

And that's where we see a giant flock, throng, what do you call a group of haunted nurses? Sexy haunted nurses. So they have no face. They have very cleavagey outfits. It sounds like the perfect woman. Am I right guys? No face in huge guns? And they're doing kind of the thriller dance.

It's like, Yes, they're modern dance zombies. My favorite type of woman is silent, like Silent Hill. They got two silent ills right down the front. Boom. Let me get a squeeze on them, Sarah Hill. If you're in trouble, hit the double D button. Am I right?

Oh. Let me put a quarter in there. Continue? I think I will. This is great. We're having fun. We are having fun. This is good.

It's good to do a show. It's a quiet motorboat. So if you just get it. It's just idling. Oh no, I'm running out of gas. And so she has to kind of make her way. So the light activates the zombie nurses. So she has to turn off the light and kind of make her way through them while they're like shimmy and shaking.

This is a pretty good scene. Yep. This is pretty cool. What was the point of them? I was going to say, because it's actually not that hard for her to get around them. Because they just start attacking one. another yes and even the christabella kind of told them that they are attracted to the light yeah you're gonna need this to see so i don't know what to tell you so she makes it to the end we see

this flash of light and then we get just a huge lord dump a dump where at the end some stuff is clear so the lord dump is this let me know if i'm missing anything oh and this is kind of cool it's it shot with the film grain so it makes it looks like the 70s the plot's kind of like rosemary's baby it's a fun little reference. Yeah. Okay, so in the 70s, this town of fanatics thought that a little girl who had no dad was evil. So they took her to a hotel and burned her with a complicated swinging apparatus. Yes.

But it swung around too much and knocked over the fire, which is what burned down Silent Hill. Yes. This little girl did not die. She just became an overcooked hot dog. Yes. Oh, yeah. And it gets grim. And before she was burned, she was assaulted by this janitor, which made her pregnant.

She gives birth to a baby, which is Sharon. Hang on. I missed this part. I think this could be not real. I don't know that at all. This is not that. So there are three girls. Yes.

Well, there's three entities. So I did a little bit of digging on the. this confused me. So there are a couple of school of thoughts on this. So we've got schools of schools of thoughts. Oh my God. But the one that I believe is true. So there's Sharon is the good part of that lives inside of hot dog.

What is hot dog? Alessa. Alyssa. Alyssa is a hot dog. And then there's bad. Why do you call her the hot dog? Because she looks like a hot dog that was on a grill too long. She got burned.

I remember. And she's real like kind of greasy, glassy. But yeah, so it's like... She's covered in catch-o. Alessa, like the hate and anger and fear within her, which it sounds like she's a witch, it created this like entity to visit her, which is like the evil Alessa.

Dark Alessa. They were calling her in the caption. So we're assuming that dark Alessa is this like evil entity or whatever that visited her. and then harvested her hate and rage and then split off all of her goodness into another being that then they put somewhere else so that she didn't have any goodness in her.

And then the rage and everything turned into this, like, disease, magical, like vortex that sucked this town into this hellhole. Yeah, so they're in like another dimension. And we see that when Sean Bean is investigating is like they're kind of in the same place, but he can't see them. So, yeah.

And then, okay, so we know that. But I'll say your explanation makes a whole lot more fucking sense, Jordan. I was going to say, because that makes sense why they would show that the janitor thing at all. I was like, huh?

I know. It's just like you're trying to be edge lord. You're just showing me fucked up stuff. Yeah. And at some point they say to the crone woman, this is your granddaughter. Oh, my God. Because that was her kid who got burned anyway.

Okay. I see, I think that maybe that was the original idea and then they backed away from it because it was too fucked up maybe because yeah this happened in the 70s we've got our little Sharon now so how does that make sense if they split off I know she would have been born yeah so yeah yeah in 1990 yeah thanks or something explanation oh yeah yeah oh yeah what's it up oh yeah what is it the it's according to uh Wikipedia it's a bad movie oh oh okay okay okay okay okay so the uh so the uh so the entity enters rose she goes into the church where the fanatics are they stab her but that

lets it out shit gets crazy so the girl the burned girl in the bed raises up out of the ground with barbed wire tentacles kills all the cultists the main cultists goes up through through the legs tree from evil dead style rips her up with barbed wire pretty fucked up terrible cg i but very fucked up things happening. It was pretty gross. It was great though. But they burned the cop lady too. Oh, they burned the cop.

That's right. My hot cop joke now is funny. It is. Remember when I said that? I'm good. Thank you, Emily. That was the part, that was another part of this film

that I was like, it has some redeeming qualities because that was really gross off. And they used that, I guess they improved on their swinging apparatus. Because it was, it's a ladder.

It's a ladder. They talk about hot dog roasting. It really was. They like just lowered her on this ladder. It was really fucking gruesome. This movie did not give a shit. Yeah. So they anyway, it's over.

They're dead. And so they go in the car. They drive away from Silent Hill and they get home and you think they're going to run into Sean Bean and happy family, blah, blah, blah. But you can see that they're in a world of cloud and ash and he's in the real world. So they're still trapped in the other dimension. And then you get a long shot of plants for some reason in the movie's over. Yeah.

Well, also, we know that we know that Sharon is, has the bad. And she has the bad. The bad, Alessa, inside of her. Oh. Well, there are two more movies that maybe explain that.

The second movie, which we had a wonderful time watching the sequel to Ouija, which was really good. Okay. And the first movie had like a 5%. So Silent Hill, I don't know what the Rotten Tomatoes is, but the second movie is an 8%. So you,

better believe it's going to be trash. It's going to be worse in this one? Sean Bean is in it. What? John Bean's like, I'll do another one. Does he have ambling debts? What is his email? And John Snow is in it with him.

Wow. They're both in it. Unofficial Game of Thrones prequel. Yeah. So we got to watch that eventually. Yeah. We'll see. Oh, God damn it.

We'll talk about it. Whatever I suggest a movie, it's bad. That's not true. That's not true. Yeah, you have lots of good suggestions. That sounds like sarcasm. No, I meant to. Matthew.

Just not this one. All right. Thank you. Hey, that's the end of the plot. We're going to tell you what we thought about it. But first, you know we're going to do the hunk watch. Gwinnett, for you, we like to talk about the hunks of the film. This could be someone you were into, someone you thought to give a particularly great performance.

I already tipped my hand. Pyramid Head. is no one else. Yes, daddy. Pull off my skin and throw it against the wall. But my clothes first, do the close first. I know who mine is. That's when it?

Officer Thomas Gucci. Yes. We didn't even talk about Officer Thomas Gucci. Gucci. He's your main man. I thought he was going to be in on it. I thought he was going to be another cultus. You can see him in the flashback, making this more fucking confusing.

So he is some kind of spirit guide from the 70s. Cool. Anyway. But now he like, yeah, he definitely got like, some kind of promotion on the force because he wears like a suit now. That's right. He looks. So he's the one showing Sean Bean around.

Yeah. Yeah. And his name is Thomas Gucci. Yeah. He's an actor called Kim Coats. Okay. That's a character actor's name that I know in my head by heart because he's in a lot of Lifetime movies.

Oh. There's one called Westerns too. He's like in, he's in a lot of stuff. This guy is working. But he's in one called. friend of the family that I think came out in like 2005-ish that I highly recommend everyone watch. You're a lifetime movie fan? I love lifetime movies.

We need to do more lifetime movies. Oh, he was in Sons of Anarchy. Yeah, he's what it was. Yeah, he's in some good stuff. He's in some questionable stuff. But the fact that his name was Gucci. Yeah. Girl.

In West Virginia, Thomas Gucci. I loved him. Emily or Matt, any thoughts on the Hanks of Silent Hill? Mine is going to be a lady cop when she's burning to death. Before that, you're like, I don't see it. Before that, I was just like, what's the point of her? And then when you just see her melting, you're just like, oh, all right. I'm sorry, guys.

Honestly, I'm having. I like a milty. I'm having a hard time choosing between pyramid head and the lady cop. but I'm going to give it to the brick house of the Nokia brick phone. Hell yeah. The phone was the hunk. Talk about a brick habit.

Yeah. It's my kind of hunk. I like them thick and juicy. Yes, exactly. I'm going to play snake on that thing. Oh, yeah. Letting it all hang out. I'm going to try all of the ringtoes.

In public, drive people crazy. All right. That's the hunk watch. We're going to tell you what we thought of the movie. when we come back We're back. It's Free With Ads. We're here with Gwinnett Stewart.

We're having fun talking about Silent Hill. We're going to rank the movie, but first, some very exciting programming news. Next week will be the start of a very exciting theme month for us. Emily came up with the name. I'll let her do the new. honors what is next month

July Brary month yes July February yes so in this month we will be watching movies from library sponsored streaming services there's a couple of great ones you can watch them with your library card

no ads don't explain how the name of the show doesn't make sense it in July it doesn't matter our podcast will just be free with sure free with card Free with card. Free with card. So this is kind of cool.

We love libraries. Libraries get their funding based on use. So if you're using one of these streaming services, your library's getting money, baby. They're really cool. We are going to be watching Canopy and Hoopla. So if you don't have your library card, fucking get it. Get yourself some free movies.

This is going to be tons of fun. Jew library. Great name, Emily. Thank you. And, yeah, and of course, go to Maximumfund. slash join. That's how you support the show and that's how you hear all our bonus episodes. Maximumfund.org slash join. Okay. We're going to rank the movie. Gwinnett, you're our guest. We will let you go first. Can you rank this movie on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials?

That's the amount of commercials you would watch to watch this movie. Yeah. Oh, three. Three loud commercials. That's not good. I mean, I think it's very honest and I respect it. I went straight to letterboxed with this one and it got one star. I'm sorry to say. How many stars on Letterbox out of a potential? Is it five?

It's five. Okay, one out of five. So that translates to about three stars on the free with ad scale. I was going to say, so I explained this to you guys earlier, but I fell asleep the first time I watched this movie. Because it is literally two hours long, which is too long for this movie. I kept looking at the thing going, Jesus, how long is this? It's crazy, crazy long. had to rewatch it.

When I rewatched large chunks of it, I did like it more than one star, but not much more. Okay. Emily, what did you think? I kind of was surprised by this movie. It is a mess. It is a total mess.

But I like anything with weird horror lore with little creepy girls. I don't know. I got a thing for it. There's a lot of that. And I'm going to give it a five. Because just sounds shocking the violence and the horror parts of it were,

I was kind of impressed. I've seen, we've watched a lot of horror movies. We loved watching Predator. This was more gory and fucked up than Predator. I was kind of blown away by it. So I'm going to give it a five

because of how like crazy it was. Matt, what you think? I hated this fucking thing. It's one of the worst things we've watched. It was worse than repo. It was worse than repo. Repo at least felt like

you could watch a guy's insane stream of consciousness. You know, he's, like this movie, it felt like, let's pump out a video game movie that is so boring and dry that you actually miss that Josh Whedon fucking like, oh, so that happened. Like, they should have said so that happened. Straight up, I was like, okay, you do need one guy in there or girl, whoever. Someone needs to be in there. Or a pyramid head.

What's going on? I'm wondering what's going on. So I'm giving this a two because I like the pyramid head and I like once you got your skin ripped off. Yeah. There's one thing I want to say, though, about like, you know, things people say like that happen. They said sharing a lot, but then also everything's going to be okay over and over and over. And I'm like, people don't mean that. Like I don't think, like I don't think our parents ever meant it.

Everything's going to be okay. No, it's not. We're all going to die. Not everything's going to be okay. Nothing's going to be okay. So I hated that they could A barbed hospital bed girl is going to kill us Yeah

And there was like when the lady was The cop was on fire on the ladder Or whatever she's like it's got to be okay Everything's gonna be okay I was like no how many times Can parents say that and lie Anyway and there was also multiple In the eyes of a child

Mother is God Oh in the eyes of a child mother is God Yes So that's where this line comes from It's like you watch the movie Like oh this is everybody's saying that all the time Okay, yes, I will go. I mean, I, like, this movie has fans, and it has two sequels.

So, like, people, there's... One from this year. Yeah, one sequel to this movie came out this year. What? Anyway, straight to the one remaining red box. Yeah. There's one red box at a gas station inventor. All we got is silent heels.

Do they have tattoos and... Right, yes, and piercing... Nightrollers. And Silent Hills. And Silent Hill 3. So yeah, I think some of the gore stuff is fun. Some the look of it is fun. Like, it has that.

And I can see why the YouTube people love it because it's a puzzle box. And people like the puzzle box element of it. Yeah, I didn't like it. I'm going to go ahead and give it a three. I think you can enjoy some of the clips of this and like kind of get the fun of it without having to watch all the stuff in between. But I see you out there, Silent Hill fans. I respect you.

Go watch your, congratulations on getting two sequels to this. Yeah, no kidding. Go on with your bad selves. Go on with your bad selves. Gwennett, thank you so much for joining us. You guys, I had so much fun. This is fun to hang out with you. Do you want to tell us a little more about musical puk,

where we can find it, and about anything else you have going on? Yeah. So yes, mostly musical puk at the moment. We're really excited about it. It comes out every other Tuesday, which I recognize is not helpful. But you can find us wherever you listen to podcasts. And also on YouTube, we put video up on YouTube. So you can watch it. Is it a musical puk channel? Yeah. Yeah. It's just called. So I think if you just go to YouTube and you look up musical puk, you'll find it. Or if you go to Spotify or Apple or whatever, you can look up musical puk and find it there too. And please, listen, I think it's super fun. If you like trivia, I think it's really fun. You all get great guests. It's a blast. Yeah, we like it. Thanks, guys. Matt, Emily, anything? Nope. I mean, my impending YouTube channel is coming in July.

Nice. I'm excited. So yes. Get yourself, subscribe to YouTube now. So make sure you have YouTube when Emily's channel comes out. I am going to tell people to pre-order a new comic series coming soon from me and artist Luke Ross. It's The Amazing Venom. Yeah, that's right. right, a super weird

Marvel character has a goopy venom suit and he's going on an intergalactic adventure. It's going to be a ton of fun. If you want to pre-order signed copies of all five issues, go to bit.l.ly slash goo friends. Bit.l.w. slash goo friends. That's good friends without the D.

You know, because Venom's made a goo. That's really fun. It's good that I made that URL. Bit.L.Y. slash goo friends. You can get them all delivered to you in the mail. Tons of fun. You don't need to do a ton of Marvel homework. If you're more into the movies,

it's kind of a Thor Ragnarok. It's kind of a Guardians of the Galaxy. We're going to have a good, crazy time with the amazing venom coming in September for me and Luke Ross. Okay. Tune in next week, the first week of Jew Library,

when our movie will be. True Grit, 2010. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artists-owned shows. Supported directly by you.