Free With Ads - Steel Magnolias

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

This week we honor the passing of legendary singer songwriter Dolly Parton by watching one of her classic films: Steel Magnolias, about a group of women who get to hang out with Dolly Parton.Tune in next week when our movie will be... Clue.-----Subscribe to Emily's new YouTube Channel The Anti-Craft, coming soon!Matt will be at the Philly Punch Line Comedy Club October 13 and October 14thMatt will be at the Bell House in Brooklyn on October 15thOn Sept 9th, Jordan will be at Third Eye Comics in Short Pump, Virginia On Sept 30th Jordan's new comic The Amazing Venom hits comic book shops and so he's gonna be at the Frida Cinema in Santa Ana, CA hosting a double feature of Blade 2 and Hellboy 2. GET YOUR TICKETS NOW! Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinfreewithads

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asked the question, why pay Netflix nine bucks a month to watch a bunch of schmaltzy Southern dramas when you could go online for free and watch a smaltzy Southern drama starring a singular, once in a lifetime performer who changed the game forever and is universally beloved by the world. I'm of course talking about Tom Scarrant. I'm George Morris. I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Steel Magnolias, the 1989 classic that's got more Southern wisdom. than a Jimbugs jumble on a wet hands holler. With us, as always, is the super producer of the He Freak, Matt Leeb, hitting us with those down home drops.

Have you lost your mind? We'll sell t-shirts saying I'd slapped Weezabudra. What's up, guys? I want to slap Wiza Boudreau to feel better about my grief. I think that would help us all work through what we've got. I don't know. I definitely like. Weezer's point of view, I don't think you should slap her.

Yeah, but it's... I think you should slap her dog, though. I'm kidding. Don't be dogs. 100%. You can imagine you're slapping a fictional dog if it helps you work through things. It's a pillow that looks like a dog. There you go. Don't slap a real.

Oh, my God. There should be a Weezer pillow so you could punch it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oohie. I'm Shirley Maclean Pillow. I mean, it's very... right there. That's right there, dude. The intersection of Weezer fans and Steel Magnolia fans.

There has to be dozens of them. You know those like, like T-shirts people make. If you want to destroy my Weezer, Boobro, whoa, whoa. Oh. But you know those T-shirts that people, they like make a metal version of something that is the same name? If somebody does a Weezer t-shirt with Shirley MacLaine's Weezer picture on it. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Honestly, pretty great shirt. Somebody do it. Free idea, free millions of dollars we just gave you, or Emily just gave you as Emily's idea. Tens. Tens of dollars. Tens! Hey, in case you hadn't figured it out, we're going to talk about steel

magnolias, which is as of this recording, streaming free with ads. But first, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. So, you know, a reason we're doing Steel Magnolias, I think it's a classic we've all wanted to watch, but, you know, we are

recording this a couple days after. Dolly Parton died, a legend. We had a lot of fun watching one of her Christmas movies. I'm a Dolly Parton death truther now. Yes, dude. She's still alive. She's on an island with Elvis. Exactly.

Her and Elvis and Tupac. Just jamming. Her, Elvis, Tupac, Charlie Kirk. All the greats. All the musical legends. That's right. Yeah, stay tuned for more. weird conspiracy theories.

Yes, we're going to talk about Steel Magnolia's in honor of Dolly Parton. And I thought would just kind of make it the theme of the episode. I think we were all huge fans. I mean, who fucking wasn't, but the whole thing with her is like everyone's a huge fan.

But this is a clip I saw getting shared on social media a lot. There is a pretty lovely David Letterman YouTube channel that has just all sorts of classic Letterman clips. He was like a big part of my, you know, growing up love the guy and he

had on Dolly Parton for one of his top ten lists and here is, and she, you know, a delivery to die for on Dolly Parton. So here is Dolly Parton reading the top three Dolly Parton Pet Peaves on David Letterman. Okay, smart-ass MCs who introduced me by

smart ass MCs. She's the best. She watched this interview. I guess she was doing on a talk show. They were like, do you ever get tired of the dumb blonde jokes? She goes, oh no. I mean, I know that I'm not stupid and I'm also not blonde. Yes. Had a one-liner for everything. She really did. I mean, like, she's just a class act. And even when she was doing serious interviews, I like that she was able to throw it back equally. Like, there's this one terrible bar. Barbara Walters interview. Did you see that clip? Yes, I did. Barbara is like doing this thing that nowadays we call concern trolling, which is where you

insult the person to their face, but act like you're concerned for them. Like you just want better for them, but you just, it's just throwing shade. Yeah. And she's talking about like, you know, you don't need to look like this with the wigs and whatnot. And she just is like, yeah, I know. I want to. It's fun.

And it's funny. And no one can make fun of me more than I make fun of myself. And I was like, God damn it, I fucking love her. Just the security. She says like, um. And you give Dolly Parton business advice. I know. And by the way, Barbara Walters, oh, you're worried.

Oh, yeah, people might make fun of you. Have you heard yourself talk? Shut up. Well, she says in that interview, she's like, oh, yeah, it's definitely a choice. And I've always thought to myself, the, the tackiest thing you can be is fashionable. Yes. I was like, oh, I love that. But, yeah, she had a one.

liner for everything. Those, yeah, those interviews like Diane Sawyer and then, I think that was kind of what you were, like,

trained to do to get people to stay watching or whatever. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. There should have been a Dolly Parton's school

of shitty interviewing. Like, where it's like, this is how you respond to these things. Yeah. She was, she was the master.

She was the best at it. Yeah. Well, yeah, we also like her movies a lot, too. Yes, we do. This is one of them.

This is our second, Dolly. Yeah, our second Dolly, we did one of her straight to TV Christmas movies. Unlikely Angel. And something else that's rad about Dolly Parton. And Tim Curry, too. We have a Tim Curry movie plan for next week. That's right.

They, both of them would do whatever. I'm so respected. Did they need the money? I don't know. I mean, I think Dolly was giving it a lot to charity. So that's, you know. I don't know. I think they just like to work.

I think that's the deal. and they would both just do whatever. Like I read that Dolly Parton's last appearance, last professional appearance was at the opening of a truck stop. She had a branded truck stop. And she's like, she is one of the greatest songwriters to ever live,

wrote some of the greatest pop songs ever, but just has a Krusty the Clown-like merchandise need. Yeah. To have her face on everything. And to Curry, you know, his fucking meme doing that Command and Conquer CD-ROM game. Like, I love them.

They just both did whatever and were still legends, you know? Yeah, yeah. No, truly. And it cannot be emphasized enough that Dolly Parton was also one of the greatest songwriters who ever lived. It's true. It's truly amazing. Like, you don't see that with any other type of musician, like any other, especially

not a virtuoso songwriter. Like, you don't see, you know, Paul Simon. branded fucking merch where it's like come to my truck stop and you have the grace land yeah there's not there's not like john prine brownie mix oh a john prine reference very nice yeah just going for another you know the legendary songwriter i like that you know john brown brownie suck yeah exactly it's like here come over to leonard cohen's taco shop you know like it's just it's not it's not a thing for people who have the mystique of the musician let alone a musician who is also an incredibly gifted songwriter like that's that's a whole other thing yeah so it is uh it's one of the things that makes her so cool is that she was just incredibly humble and uh you know

also you know big she's hot she's so beautiful it's like um big kitty and i think the style yes whatever But I was also talking to someone, weren't we talking about this? Where I was like, the jugs are amazing. But the minute she starts talking, you're like, you just forget about the jugs. Yeah, it's crazy. Some people might. I mean, I don't know. I can walk and chew gum and look at tits at the same.

Well, I kind of like, I've been watching a lot of clips of Best Little Horhouse in Texas, which, boy, I'd love to watch that together sometime. But her boobs in that, I was like, those are the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen in my life. So round. But then she starts singing and I'm like, oh yeah, there's boobs. Like it's like it's so amazing. Yeah. I mean, her talents everywhere.

It's every. But yeah, she, there was another quote that she had in a talk show where they were like, so you have a lot of wigs. She goes, who's saying this is a wig? And they're like, oh, well, isn't that pretty expensive? And she goes, not these cheapos. She's like, I have over 100 cheap wigs. I'm like, yes, I love her so much. She is the best.

I got to get a pink. manicure to honor her tomorrow somewhere probably. Has anyone, did anybody see Steel Magnolias before this? I had seen bits and pieces of it. It's on all the time on TV.

Like often, at least I remember it being there, but I have seen the play. Oh, okay. So it's based on a play that came out two years before the movie and my middle school choir instructor, choir teacher played Weezer.

at Tennessee Repertory Theater and she was so good she was so good and I was like and I love this movie because it is like a play basically

it takes place in pretty singular locations kind of a bottle situation but it doesn't waste time you don't have a lot of in between it's like you're seeing the main events Yeah it's very like economical storytelling and a neat way

and yeah shows the pastures of time with the holidays Yeah, a neat A neat way to tell a story. I love it. And Sam Shepard's in it And he's a playwright. He always makes weird appearances in movies

that feel like a play. Yeah. Maddie, you had never seen it? No, I had never seen it. This is just, it's one of those movies that kind of was in the category and who forgive me from my young, ignorant mind.

But as a kid, it was like, this, Bridges of Madison County, fried green tomatoes. Never seen those. They're not like chick flick, chick flicks, but it was definitely something where I was like, oh no, that's not a movie

for boys, that's a movie for a girl. So I had no interest in it. It was a punchline for a long time. And it is like very melodramatic and kind of over the top in its way. Right. We'll call it a tearjerker is what I'd call it instead of that.

So yeah, I'd say fried green tomatoes is a similar thing. Yeah. All those movies are, It would be better if they had guns and more men and the women showed up. There's some guns in this and some crossbows as well. There is. So I saw this with my mom, who was a huge Dolly fan.

Hell yeah. When it came out in 1989 and it is the first movie I cried in and I therefore hated it. I was mad at the movie. Wow. You know, as my therapist might tell you, I'm a guy who maybe likes to keep his emotions under control. doesn't like a lot of... Wait, how old were you? You must have been, what, seven?

I was nine. Nine? And I was eight or nine. And I cried and I was mad at the... And I have like a very vivid memory of like my mom crying and everyone in the theater crying and it being this like, why is everyone crying?

We don't come here to cry. We don't come here to watch Ace Ventura. Sure. No one's talking out of their butt. No one's coming out of our... rhinos butt. I know that's the sequel. So, yeah, so this and I felt, you know, I think I've talked to this on the show before,

but feeling very betrayed by my girl, thinking it would be another McCulley Culkin Romp and then him getting killed by fucking bees. Yeah. So very, so I was even kind of like afraid of this movie, you know. It's so crazy that he, he'll make mommy cry, you know. He lived. He lived through the wet bandits, but the bees got him. The bees got, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, so this is your second time. It'd be funny if they, like, panned over from the bees, and it was like the wet bandits rubbing their hands. Like, they threw the bees over the minute. We finally got that racket, fracid him in the 50s or whatever. That's not a Joe Pesci. Anyway, so it's interesting to revisit it because I just have that very, like, core memory.

Is this your second time seeing it then? It's my second time. Wow. Seeing it in theaters with Mommy and then here with you, Mommy and Daddy. Yeah, the new Mommy. Podcast Mommy and Daddy. Oh, I like that. I like that.

Well, don't get used to it Okay, fair It's gross I won't be doing it much longer I already regret it Anyway so yeah Let's actually talk about it Steel Magnolia

It opens with Annell Darrell Hannah She's the new girl in town Beautiful little Louisiana town You got those trees You know those kind of The big swooping trees That go over the streets

You got these beautiful houses Big front porches Everybody's white just like Louisiana, it's great. There was one black person at some point in this movie, I think during the wedding scene. The egg hunt. And the egg hunt as well, yeah.

I was just like, yeah, Louisiana, you know, very white. Very white. Famously white Louisiana. So she's wandering around town. She's a real, just a great audience surrogate character. We're new to town. So is she. She's learning about all these kooky characters that live here.

She kind of wanders. Not like into, but she peeks in at a big wedding being planned. A big crazy wedding and a, you know, just a beautiful house. It is Julia Roberts's wedding and her mom, Sally Field. They're like planning it and, you know, everything has to be perfect. They try to deliver these glasses. The glasses got broken. And her dad, the legendary Tom Scarritts, is cause in trouble.

He's 93. Is he? Wow. I looked him up because I was like, which one is the hottest one in this movie? that will be my hunk. Sorry, spoilers. Gotta be scare it. His Wikipedia is like, who, jump scare picture. It's like, whoever is in charge of that Wikipedia,

do better. That is not the picture. I'm sorry. There are hotter pictures of Tom Scarrett out there. It's like a, who, whoa, God, like pictures. Same in the hospital. Yeah, pretty much. So he does look pretty cool in this. He's wearing like a plaid sweater vest

and a green bucket hat that I'm going to go ahead and call the worst hat in the movie. The worst hat. Love a bucket hat. Yeah, well, if you want a bucket hat, this is the worst hat on it, go to max fun store.com.

That's right. Thank you, Steel Magnolias. So he is using a gun to scare birds out of the tree so they don't shit on the guests. It's a little running joke in this of him trying crazier and crazier

ways to get these birds out of the tree. So yes, that's the kind of one set of characters we follow. and then we kind of go over to a little beauty shop in someone's home. This is run by Dolly Parton and her husband's spud. It's a spud played by legendary playwright. What's the guy's name, Emily? Sam Shepard.

There you go. I think he's the tallest person in the movie. Very tall drink of water. That's right. Here it is. Tallest guy. That is who Annell was going to see. She is trying to get a job working at Dolly's beauty partner.

parlor, Dolly says to call it a glamour technician, good line. And she has, we're just running through the Stings here. She has a son, Dolly has a shitty son who rides a motorcycle. I think he's supposed to be a teenager. He's absolutely the oldest teen. He looks like he's in his mid-fucking 40s. This guy's the oldest teen. Quick with the Stings this episode.

I love it. Damn, like, yeah, as quick as the motherfucker shooting at birds and trees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was attacking the animals as opposed to when animals attack, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, good time. Remember piranha.

I remember that. Oh, man. Are you guys entertained? Yes. All right. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm some fun stings. I got a lot of them in a minute.

I got to get them all out, you know. I made too many. If he keeps them inside, they make his tummy hurt. Exactly. So we also have. have as we mentioned, the kind of kooky neighbor in town, the kind of like, you know, the old divorcee widow who has cookie clothes and has a strained relationship with religion. This is Shirley McLean playing Weezer. She's named Weezer because she hasn't been good since 1998. That's the

pre-flop a we've talked about it earlier. I did it anyway. Not as funny because we talked about it up top, but I did. Okay. It still worked. It was still great. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, so she's like me and she's very mad at Tom Scarrett for shooting a gun. I guess that's a reasonable thing to be mad. Totally reasonable. Yeah, she's got a very unwieldy dog. Yes, her dog's hair is falling out. Yeah.

It's great. And she's also mad because symbolism alert, the magnolias are falling from her yard into the yard of Tom Scarrant and Julia Roberts. That's true. And they don't know whose magnolias belong to who. so that's a little tip as to what the title means. Anyway, so yeah, the wedding's going crazy. Oh, and then, so Anel wants to get a job at Dolly Parton's salon, and she takes her, and it's fun. And they, I guess there was a lot of kind of back and forth about if Daryl Hannah should have this park.

She's supposed to be really mousy, and Daryl Hannah, of course, is a fucking bombshell, gorgeous. Well, they put her in glasses, so that's all it does. Yeah. She's all that, you know? That's how it works. I will say, I think Daryl Hannah's performance is this character really does kind of make her a little bit more homely looking. I think everybody's performance in this is so complimentary to each other. That's like, it's pretty rad.

I love it. I will see the acting is so good and fun in this. I think maybe the only thing you could say is that Julie Roberts's Southern accent is a little rough. It's close enough. Is it? I like, because she is, she's a. Texas girl. So she has a little bit of a southern accent.

But yes, hers is a little bit more of a... She's trying to do a Louisiana a little bit. But I think all the older women, it sounds like, oh, they probably would inherit that accent from being around longer. So when you hear it coming from a younger woman's mouth, it's like, who the fuck does she think she is? You know what I mean? A couple times I went ma'amma, it like kind of was like, oof, a little clunky.

I got my me ma'am on my pee-paw, yeah. Okay, as someone with a me-ma and a peepaw, I'm going to need you to quiet down. I'm going to go on my fan boat that gats my son crawl down. I'm going to sit on a bale of hay and get ticks in my couter. I'm going to eat a pole boy, hell. I remember everybody. That sounds good. I was like, did you guys not get your grandparents to check your pussy for ticks when you were a kid?

Always. They were always up with my pussy. That is something I had happened. I did not have GANGAN to do that, nor Granny K. Do you remember? Bobby, can you check my asshole for worms? But, Jordan, do you remember the day at midnight

when I'd argue with everyone about showering with your grandparents? I don't, I mean, this, I don't remember this, but I believe it happened. It was really funny because everyone was in there, and I thought it was just a normal thing that people did. I was like, yeah, when I was shower with my grandma, she'd ask me to, like, get her back for it. her and under her tities and stuff like that.

And everyone was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I'm like, no, it's normal because like when you're a little kid, they can't leave you in the shower alone. You could slip and hurt yourself. But everyone was like, I feel like the more you talk, the more abused, I think you were. And I'm like, no.

I didn't drown in the shower. They helped you live. And now I know how to wash under some floppy tities. You know how to wash under tities. So also the other kind of main character we follow us. Olivia Dukakis. She is the wife of the old mayor who's died. So she's kind of like a rich lady with like a ton of money. She doesn't know what to do with. Good to see her since

Moonstruck. Good to see her. Sure. And so yes, Julie Roberts is getting married to I, I'm not being cute. I do forget whether or not it's Dylan McDermott or Dermott Moorne. I don't know either. It's one of those guys. It's one of those two guys. Definitely Dylan McDermott. And I know this. Well, because I don't know who. Do you say, Positive, Matt? Well, now I don't know. It might be Dermit Mulroney. Dermit?

There's a guy named Dermit out there. It's the same. They're basically the same guy. His first name is Dermit. Like Kermit. Dermit Mulroney, yes. Yeah. He's a very similar man to Dylan McDermott.

Hey, it's me, Dermit. Dermit the dog. God, Dermit. Get Dermott in here. Right. God, Dermit. That's what your religious mom says instead of swearing. I got to look up who Dermit Mulroney.

He's a guy. He's real. He might be the guy in the same. movie. I've seen this guy. I know this guy. That's a popular guy. He's did a lot of stuff. It's not the same guy. This is Dylan McDermott. This is Dylan. Dylan McDermott. I think it's German. Maroney. Am I right? No, it's Dylan McDermott. Fuck. Yeah, sorry. Dylan McDermott. You can tell these guys are both Irish because of their eyes. Yeah. Irish people have very specific types of eyes. It's crazy. Yes. I'm normal. Go ahead.

Racist. The Irish are weird. I'm just doing a little race science with the Irish, and I'm allowed because I'm half Irish. So the kind of the sets of characters connect when Julia Roberts and Sally Field go into Dolly's salon. They're all

kind of friends. She's doing big hair for Julia Roberts's wedding, and then Julie Roberts has a diabetic attack. They give her like candy and juice, and we learned kind of during this attack that the doctor told Julia Roberts that she either could not or should not have kids. Right.

Come into play later. They're also really stressing out about the groom's cake. There's apparently, I don't know this as a wedding tradition. There's a groom's cake shaped like an armadillo that they're supposed to be. Crazy. It's crazy. They make a lot of jokes about it to the point where I'm like, all right, is this, do we make, there's a lot of cake jokes here.

And then you see the cake and it's fucking crazy looking. And I'm like, make more jokes about this crazy. Yeah, yeah, no, they were right to make jokes about it. The best joke is when Weezer gives the ass of the... Dude. Yeah, of the armadillo to our boy. To Tom Scarratt, yeah. Tom Scarrett, who is the father of Julia Roberts' character and the husband to Sally Field,

who isn't doing much of an accent. No, yeah, maybe... That's the... Sally Field voice. Maybe she is actually the weakest Southern accent on this. Sally Field is another one that... everybody will be bummed. Oh, Sally Fields wonderful.

Do not fuck with Sally Fields, please. It's crazy. Sally Field, like, growing up, she was famous for saying you like me, you really like me. Do you guys remember this? This was like a meme. When she won the Oscar and people said it was like at the time, people kind of made fun of it. Right. Which I always thought of it is very endearing and cute.

Yeah, I know. So I wonder if kids now look at Anne Hathaway's speech. where she's like, it came true. And they go, I love that. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I mean, ugh. Yeah, I think maybe had the, the Hathaway narrative is always ever changing. Yeah, that's true.

Right now, we're all on Team Hathaway. We're all on Team Hathaway. I think people are getting the fuck over. I've always been on Team Hathaway. It's just like, God, why did the- Ever since broke back mountain. Oh, really? I'm more of a Princess Diaries kind of bitch.

Yeah, but she doesn't show her titty's in Princess Diaries. I think if you look real quick. I'm normal. I'm not as disgusting. We all grieve Dolly Parton's death differently. Sure. Let's just let's listen. Let's celebrate the titties while they're still alive.

I know. Let's not mourn the titties after they're lost. I think I got a good two years left of alive titty. So you guys better get stuck. So yeah. So we see the wedding. It goes great. It's just like fucking 15 minutes of fun wedding with Cajun

music and it doesn't have anything to do with the plot but I'm like yeah more just like show me stuff happening at the wedding oh and then Anel gets invited even though she doesn't know anybody and she meets kind of a weird awkward bartender and they have a weird cute little meat cute thing dude so that awkward bartender do you guys recognize him very familiar Dylan McDermott no but it is a another Irishman uh except for with different eyes Have you guys seen the mummy? You guys saw the first mummy? Yes.

He's the one who like double crosses everybody. Yes. He is the one who and he is old. But he's very thin in the mummy. Yes. In the mummy he's very thin. And this like he's still got some like, you know, baby fat and whatnot. And he in the mummy he plays like an Egyptian guy.

Yeah. And he he's one of those dudes who just kind of played every single ethnicity because he is completely like ambiguous but he's just like some white Irish guy named Kevin J. O'Connor it's amazing

He's played like the Sultan in something. Yes straight up it's like the first time I think I've ever seen him play just some white guy it's kind of amazing. I wonder if he'll be back

for the mummy, the next mummy movie. Oh yeah. They're trying to reboot it with the old I believe he will be. There's photos of our boy whose name I don't know why. Brendan Fraser.

Yeah, Brendan Fraser. I think that they're AI photos, but there's these photos of him in the gym getting like jacked. And I'm like, good for him, whatever. Take goodbye to the whale and hello to whatever his character name was. The tale. I think he's perfect the way he is, however he is. That's right. You love him.

Just get out there. Just get a wig, though. We could fix that. Maybe get the wig. Oh, I guess he played white and there will be blood because he was in there will be blood. He played Daniel Plainview's brother. Tang, he's got one hell of an agent. Yeah, he's fucking great.

We got to look on IMDB pro and find out who his reps are. Yeah, take him to the peach tree dance. I don't pay $139 a year for IMDB pro to not do that. Yeah, I'm not above it. And then do nothing with it. Yeah, email them like, hey. I send this information to my manager and she's like, what do you want me to do with this? I got to put my kid to bed.

I'm kidding. She can't do anything with it. So we have the wedding It went great And we get a little So we get time jump between holidays That's kind of how this movie is set up Pretty cool, pretty creative

So we start out in Easter And we go to Christmas They have a big Christmas Carnival I guess in this town There's like a Christmas queen That gets crowned Dolly Parton's working at a shrimp stand That's great

And Annell So you know time has passed She's been working at the dolly salon And now it just looks like Miniature Dolly They have her all dollied up Pretty funny you know, side gag

and apparently she She's a harlot, dude She's a harlot Her husband ran off And she apparently had a drinking They say like oh you were drinking and smoking And now she's back on track And she's weirdly religious now

So yeah, I wish we could have seen A little bit of the drinking smoke in version I know Especially while they're doing the time jumps I'm like can we get You know Nell in her addict era I don't know I just felt like

Annel was See, that's, okay, that's why we need a peacock series. We need an Nell, you know, what happened between the wedding and the Christmas carnival. It needs to be eight episodes. They're all a little too long. That's right. Yeah, because she kind of went from Mousie with like an interesting backstory to just insufferable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know, she just gets more religious. I kind of like that as like a joke of like her getting gradually more religious and annoying every time you kind of jump cut time. Yes. Yes, exactly. Yeah. You know, we kind of follow all these little plots. They're trying to kind of set Weezer up with this guy at her church. Dopee is most adorable man I've ever seen.

Yeah, they find a real, like, guy-ass-looking guy to play this dude. Guy-ass-looking guy. Does not look like an actor. It just looks like some guy who's hanging around the set. He does look familiar, though. I'm trying to think of who he is. I feel like I might know him personally. Yeah, I was going to say he might be a gaffer that you've worked with.

Yeah, I dated him, probably. Right. He might hang out at residuals, the bar by the freeway. Word. He might. Maybe. So he, okay, so, but the big, big development we get is that Julie Roberts is pregnant. She wants to have a baby more than anything.

Sally Field is very weird and cold to her. It's a pretty dramatic scene because, you know, Sally Field, was worried about her health. It was kind of a matter of the doctors told her not that she couldn't have a baby, but she shouldn't because of her diabetes, I guess. Which I don't know much about diabetes I've realized. Yeah. Yeah.

Watching this, I was like, I think I know very, very little about it because she's, I know people, you know, with diabetes will have like juice boxes and stuff and stuff ready to go for like sugar intake. But I was also like, what about insulin, guys? Is insulin not been in? invented yet? No, she left her purse at home and she had it in there at one point, but it seems like, I don't know. It's, it's scary. I don't know much about it. I should learn more about it. Yeah. So she, so they're having this very intense conversation where Sally Field is kind of

worried about the baby and Julie Roberts just wants her to be happy, just wants her to be happy. And the whole time they're in front of a pantry and you can see that there's yogurt in it. I'm like, put it in the fridge. Yeah. You're leaving yogurt in a pantry? I cannot concentrate on what you're saying because this yogurt's going bad in front of my fucking face. That's how Southern people eat yogurt. All right. Hot yogurt. Give me some hot. I want it extra fermented.

So yeah. So we kind of get that scene. Eventually, Sally Field is happy for. And then we get one of our cuts to Fourth of July. It's the baby's birthday. They're having a little birthday for the baby. Very cute.

He's in little overalls. And then we learned that Julie Roberts, she is on dialysis and that Sally Field is going to give her a kidney. So her mom's going to donate the kidney. I will see that the scene where, you know, before the wedding and it's Julia Roberts when she's having an episode and needs the juice and everything, I went, damn, Julia Roberts is a good actress. I kind of forgot.

I kind of forgot that she's really good and not just very charming and very pretty. I know. And yeah, she definitely, you know, like was in all those kind of post-proseph. pretty woman kind of like forgettable rom-coms and then um but yeah i mean she's she's she's in um august o sage county that um that movie that's also based on a play i think it might even be a sam shepherd play i think he's in the movie but it's that movie is crazy you should definitely see that okay so yeah then we get another little uh time jump uh it is Halloween they're all decorating for uh Halloween and annel is getting married she's getting married to the bartender so we kind of see

the little bits of their relationship. There's a scene earlier where she's super religious makes him pour out all his beer because she doesn't like drinking. That upset me. That's the moment I cried. All that wasted beer. I was like, I just want to know why. Why? Why?

And you're like, I saw steal magnolias for the first time and I cried like, oh, when Julie Roberts died? No, when a guy has to pour out one beer? Why? When did you cry? We know she's going to die. They like pipe it from the beginning. I didn't know a beer was going to get poured out.

Yeah, it was pretty obvious. And it wasn't even for the homies. Yeah, not a homie in sight. Not a homie in sight. But then, so we have, Julie Roberts is like playing with the little kid, getting him ready for Halloween, and he's in a little clown suit.

Looks very cute. And this, and I'm like, how much of this movie do I remember? Me, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. this this hit me like a core memory of her collapsing and him crying little kid just cries and they like

for a long time this little they really cute like this little kid is like freaking out yeah it's a very like gut wrenching and then when the dad comes in to find him and he's like where is she the kid has been pointing at where she is

forever and the dad's like could she be in the cabinet Is she in the drawer? I'm like, fuck this guy. Yeah. Fucking Dermit, moron. Or whichever guy you are. Get bet, Dernet.

Whichever one of those two guys. Dernet. So she's in a coma. And you kind of see the family kind of, you know, filing in and out. And Sally Field won't leave her side, won't leave her side. And everybody's like, you got to come home. and she's like, what if she wakes up? I want to be here if she wakes up.

And she's like reading magazines to her. So yeah, and then you see just like a little. Yeah, and this like, it's how this movie tells the story and just these little fragments. Like you see a little just scene of Dillanor Dermott like signing the release to take her off life support. It's so economical. And I'm like, and this is a,

And I'm like, you know, I don't shut up about this. I have to write a lot of comic books lately. And you have to write them kind of like that. You have to like have a little moment to symbolize something. Because that's like, it's 20 fucking pages and you have to like get, anyway. So I'm like, this is kind of like how you would write the story in a comic. Just like have these little symbols for what's happening. Anyway, it's great.

I really like how this story is told. Anyway. So yeah, they take our life support. And kind of we just kind of see how everybody's dealing with. this. They go to dolly and her husband Spud. What a fucking name to give this guy. So he's like, they kind of start the story. He's kind of not interested in her. You kind of get the sense that maybe like they're falling out of love or he is. But, you know, he, this kind of like shocks him into appreciating her and they kind of reconnect. And that's very sweet. Yeah. And so, you know, we talked about this a

little bit during the unlikely angel episode. Like, Dolly, as compelling as she is, kind of on camera, has basically one speed. It's, hey, guys, well, shoot, you know? And there's a moment in, because she plays an angel in this, and like the threat of that Christmas movie is, like, her going to hell. And there's like a moment where she's like, I'm in hell. Oh, shoot. Oh, dang.

Dang, Dermit. I'm in hell. I hope I don't go to hell. Oh, the fiery flames of hell for all eternity? Ah, shuckers. Yeah. And she's like, and, you know, she's just like unflappable. She's cool.

Like that's her whole. And, you know, and it's kind of even what this movie is about. It's like Southern women staying strong and keeping the family together. And there's this moment where her husband asks her, he has like a, like a hot wax, waxing thing. Oh, yeah, it's the wax from the little hot pot thing. Yeah. And he's like, what's this? And she's like, it's to make.

you pretty and then they just like give her a fucking moment she doesn't say anything you just have to watch her be devastated at julie roberts dying but also trying to keep it together for her husband and it's like the she's so good in that it's like a non-speaking just all in the face acting moment and it's it's great and yeah i don't know so wild to see this person who you know kind of plays herself and everything and has a little character like actually i don't no, it's great. She did it. She did it subtly, but it was great.

Oh, yeah. She's the glue that holds this movie together, in my opinion. Like, because she's the one who owns the beauty parlor. So it's like everyone is kind of in, like, she's the planet kind of orbiting around everyone. I don't know how space works. No, that's right. But you know who does? Tim Curry.

Spice. Spice. Spice. The only place to escape from capitalism. Spice. Spice. Is it all you part in any CD-ROM games? Probably, dude. I would not be surprised.

Yeah. Well, shoot, I'm stuck in mist, y'all. Oh, no, I'm in mist. I got to find a book that is shaped like this ingot. I got to buy the key. Oh, my God. Is this the last of us? I thought there was, I thought there was more.

Oh, dang. But it's the last of us. I'm going to become a clicker, ain't I? Now I'm going to be clicking. God dang it, I'm in doom. All right. Finish him, y'all. Haddickin.

Y'all got flame. Someone patch Dali Parton into Mortal Kombat and have her be the announcer. Oh, that's great. Finish him. Y'all? Fatality. Fateful. Flawless victory.

Flawless. Anyway. Yeah. So. I could do this. that for another half hour. We should have every video game

that should have Dolly Parton in it. Hey Mario, let's a go. It's a me. It's a me. A dolly. Anyway, so you get

Julie Roberts's funeral and, you know, it's very, very sad. Everybody's like breaking down. There's this moment where Annell, who is now kind of

like an annoying religious person, comes up to Sally Field. I thought she's going to kill her. I thought she's going to kill her. This, okay, this, so Annell is like, well, she's with God now, which is just like something that someone who has had a loss does not want to hear. Right. But then, so you think, you're like, oh, Sally Field's going to fucking unload on this woman.

Yeah. And then they, like, let Anel explain herself. They, like, let Anel talk about, like, how great Julia Roberts was. You know, this is how I read that. I hated it. Different, different interpretations. But I was like, oh, they don't want to make her character too much of an idiot. They want her to, they want you to understand where she's coming from.

And I'm like, oh, this movie likes the characters. Oh, they do. They're dumbasses. Like, it likes them. And it never wants you to like, I don't know. They're funny, but they're not punchlines. It's so, it's a little thing. They're not to be discarded, which is, which I think is how it works if you're writing theater.

You know, you can't just be like, because you're working with. real flesh and blood people, they're not behind the screen, they're on stage. And so having just one idiot the whole time reads as, you know, doesn't read as real

because people aren't like that. People have, you know, different layers and different dimensions. For me, when she was going off on, you know, her body was just so weak

and it could take it anymore. So she needed to like, watch her son grow up from the sky. And I was like, Jesus Christ, this is just kidding. But I think that Sally Fields' character going, turning to her and I was like,

oh, here we go. But her taking a deep breath and going, I appreciate like what you're trying to do. Yeah. Yeah. Because it just shows that these women are like the friendship part of it, being patient with each other when they're going through it. But she's like clearly just, okay,

her intentions are all good here. I'm not going to lose it. Sure. But that's what helps it build up to her losing it later. I think that the Daryl Hannah character like is starting to tap at the door of letting her. She's letting her release everything into the most amazing emotional monologue of all time. Oh, yeah.

So we're about to get to that amazing emotional monologue that Matt played a little clip of during his drop at the beginning. Before we do that, we're going to take a break. Hey, we're back. It's free with ads. We are talking about steel magnolias. So yes, Julie Roberts has died. It's the funeral. Sally Field for the whole fucking movies and trying to keep it together, trying to keep it together.

like during the wedding she's like okay my husband we didn't mention this the husband starts shooting a crossbow with fireworks at it up in the so awesome up in the tree to get the birds out there's not a lot of dudes in this movie but the dudes that are in it are fucking awesome they make the most of it yeah they're like dudes have a little bit of screen time and they fucking milk it yeah dudes rock indeed oh and there's a funny little running gag too at the wedding where he because he shot fireworks off he can't hear so he's yelling at everybody's yelling at gag. Good gag. Who's your favorite character in Steel Magnolius?

Tom Scarrett. Yes. The man. I love Gabney Coleman in 9 to 5. I like Annel's ex-husband who you never see but hear that he is a thief. I was a little disappointed that we didn't see some drama of him like. I know. And the Peacock series, the Annale prequel, that's when we see the husband.

Yes. Yes. Definitely. Hell yeah. So yes. and Sally Field, a total fucking meltdown. And then they try and get her back on track by telling her to slap Weaser.

It's so good. Olympia Dukakis like holds Weezer by the shoulders. It's like, go ahead and slap her. And then everyone just like has to laugh. Except for Weezer who walks away. I think he calls her a pig. He's like, she can dish it, but she cannot take it. No, she cannot.

But then Olympia Dukakis, like, apologize to her. And she says, I love you more than my luggage Which is a problem Women love luggage Oh yeah That's a thing Right Emily?

I guess so Do you love luggage? You love luggage, huh? I mean I've got baggage Does that help? But you love it? Yes, I do I hope you love it too

Because you're stuck with me and it We're shopping Right Emily? We can we move on from that Listen, as we learned from Geiver, women love shopping and going to Brazil. That's right. Y'all never take me to Brazil. You know what?

We don't. That's true. You're all right. I never take anyone to Brazil. Okay. So that's kind of the last bit of the funeral and then comes back around. We end where we began in Easter, a season of renewal, birth symbolism.

Oh, I just got that. Oh, yeah, sure, sure. A movie, a holiday commemorating a new life. That's right. Everybody, you know, there's a lot of like kind of gratuitous shots of kids having an Easter icon. It's very, very cute.

Yep. You know, we see some little shots of Julie Roberts's kid, Jack, and he's looking really cute and they tell like the story of her mom. Weeter has, I think, gotten married to that normal-ass dude or at least is with him. That's nice.

The baby slaps her, which is kind of a fun little payoff. And I was like, how did they get that baby to slap her so good? Maybe it's a puppet. You see him from the back. So maybe it's a baby puppet. Or they like just, I don't know, how to stick tape to its elbow and they just swat it. I think that. You just put peanut butter under their gums.

Oh. And then they slap. That's how you get a baby to slap. Usually in the South we do whiskey, but you know. Sure, either one. A lot of ways to do it. A lot of ways to do it. And then Anel is pregnant and she goes into labor and her husband was dressed as the Easter Bunny. And then Dolly Parton's shitty son who we've seen one other time, the oldest teen, he's now like punk rock. He has like a mohawk. He has his motorcycle.

The last shot of this movie is the guy dresses the Easter Bunny riding away on this motorcycle. It's very surreal. With the punk rock guy. Yeah, I know. and that's the end of Steel Magnolias. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the plot of the movie. We're going to tell you what we thought about it. But first, we're going to do the hunk watch. It's Hunk Watch. Adelaie Parton, of course, a, you know, a legacy hunk. A hunk legend. Yes, yes.

I mean, by default, of all of our hunks. So we need to pick a second hunk. Yes, a secondary kind of a hunk. I'll take the left one. Left hung. I'll take the right. And I'll go right down the middle. What are we talking about?

I think we know. I think we know. I don't. I forgot. If I say it like this, it sounds like I know what I'm talking about. Titties. Oh, titty.

I'll take the left. I'll take the right. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I'll go down the field. I knew it the whole time. I knew the whole time.

I'm just pretending. Yeah. Yep. We're both cool. Anyway, yes, any other thoughts on secondary? Tom, scare it, man.

Scarrett. God, he just, he was like the only husband that was really concerned about anyone. He was just like, he didn't like it when they were joking,

making jokes about giving the kidney. Giving the kidney, yeah. He was like, I don't like these jokes. I don't like it. So she did give the kidney, Yeah, and then it didn't work out anyway.

And then she dies anyway. Yeah. I felt like they didn't address that enough. Well, because Sally Fields' character would never complain about that. She would be like, I gave you a kidney, it didn't work out. I'm not going to get angry about that part. I'm just angry my daughter's dead. That's all I'd be doing.

It's just like yelling at the doctor. I'd be like, can I get it back? I don't think you want that one. Can you put it back in? I don't know. Great question. I mean, come on. What is it?

It's just sitting. sitting there. I know if either of you guys have a spare liver, I could really use that. I think you need that to live. That's what they call it that. That's what they keep telling me. That's what they keep saying. I'll show them.

They should really call it the heart and call the heart the liver. That's what I've always said. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, Syrette. He's great. He's super hot. I'm going Sally Field. Sally Field in this is incredible.

Like, puts on, I mean, there's a lot of great acting in this movie, but I think she goes above and beyond, especially in the scene where she finally cracks that we talked about at the, you know, at the funeral. It's just so good. And she's she's got, I don't know, she's got so many modes between like crying and between, you know, trying to. I took pictures of myself in every stage of crying through that scene. Like through that scene. Oh, I can't wait for the social media post. I'm going to do it. And then at the end, I'm laughing because of the whole like Weezer thing. And then I was like, and then I just wanted to text you guys and be like, why the fuck? are you doing this to us? We just recently had to watch Matthew Bacconi and Timothy Shalame

which was a slog and now I'm sobbing my eyes out. I don't know. This was a pallet cleanser for that shit. It was. It takes its toll on us. We put ourselves through hell for you. It's true but it was like really actually cathartic I think

this movie because it made me feel closer to the Dolly. Everybody who's mourning Dolly and stuff. It feels like we're closer to all of you out there and you're closer to us. Get in my titty. Yeah, get in. Yes, yes.

Motorboat. As that Austin Powers villain was said. Yeah, that's right. So yeah, all right, those are the hunks. We're going to tell you what we thought about the movie when we come back. Hey, we're back. It's Free With Ads. We're going to tell you what we thought of Steel Magnolias.

We want to let you know if you go to maximum fund.org slash join. That's how you support the show, the network. And that's how you hear our bonus episodes. We have a special bonus series called We Like Shows. Where we talk about favorite TV pilots this month. You can hear us talk about the outsider. Oh, yeah. Favorite Pilots?

And it's my pick next. So coming up at the end of the month, I'm going to pick a special TV pilot. I'm very excited. love for us to watch maximum fun.org slash join. Okay, uh, steel magnolias. Let's rank it on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials. Uh, Matt, I feel you don't go first a lot. I'm going to go first. What did you think of steel magnum? Jordan, you should go less instead of the one who actually saw it. Yes. Some emotional baggage. Yes. So, um, I really like this movie. I'm going to give it an eight. I thought that the performances were great.

It's very rare that I watch a movie that was, you know, adapted from a play and find myself enjoying it. And that's not to say that, I mean, I'm sure there's plenty that I just maybe didn't know. This one, as I'm watching it, I'm very aware it's a play. And yet, the chemistry between all the actors is just so, I don't know, seamless. It's just so natural that all of their conversations feel like real conversations, even if I, you know, am not in any way, you know, culturally attuned to what they're talking about. You know, I'm not a woman. I'm not from the South. I'm not in 1989 or whatever.

But, yeah, just watching it, I was, yeah, I was enthralled by it. I thought it was a fun watch throughout, even in its sad. parts it didn't it wasn't overly um saccharin in any way and it wasn't overly uh you know sentimental it wasn't like i i don't know i um in its biggest moment with the sally field breaking down they haven't broken down you know up until this point like the a lot of horrible shit has happened you know she goes into a coma she dies um but this is like the first breakdown and And at the moment where you're finally getting this like bit of catharsis and crying, they immediately just do this joke about, you know, punch lew, uh, punch weezer. Yeah.

I was just like, that is so fucking funny to like to do. It's my favorite thing ever is when you take sad tension and break it with a joke. It's the biggest laugh you get. It's one of the reasons I like, I like dramas better than comedies because jokes and dramas just hit better. So, um, yeah, I don't know. I really liked it. I can give it an eight. Emily, what did you think? I love this movie. I loved the play very much.

Trust me, the joke about hitting Weaser on stage is like, oh, riotless. It's so funny. I love just the way this story moves. I love that it opens with a wedding because everybody wants to, weddings are fun to watch. They're exciting. They're chaotic.

Her dress was, by the way, that might be my favorite wedding dress in a movie ever. love it. Um, so I was like, ooh, a wedding at the very beginning. This is fun. And then, um, just the chemistry between the ladies, the jokes on jokes on jokes and Southern isms that were so good. Um, I, it felt like a warm hug and it made me think about being a little girl in the South and how I'll never get to go to the beauty parlor with my grandmother, um, either grandmother or my mom anymore. And it felt good to watch that and be like, I'm, it's like I'm back there. Uh, so I'm going to give it a 9.5 because it's there's certain things that I don't know I think it's missing there's like little things in there that I'm like it's almost there fuck it I'm giving it a 10 hey there you go

I'm getting a tippy 10 it's a tippy 10 it's a tippy 10 it's a tipy 10 I love it yeah I also had a blast watching this and so fun to revisit because I have that memory you know of it and then I haven't revisited it. Yeah, I loved watching it too. I'm also giving it an eight. Yeah, definitely a kind of, they don't make them like this anymore movie. Yeah. And yeah, just such fun acting from all these actors that you like. And yeah, it's, yeah, it's funny and it's sweet. And yeah, it's, you know, it's, it's, it's a little schmaltzy for sure. And it's, it's melodramatic. But like, I don't know. It's, it's, it's, it, you know, it's saying something. And, uh, yeah, I don't know. I, I, I, I liked it a ton. And did you cry this time around. Yeah, I did not cry this time

around. I've built up my armor. You're ready. You're ready for it. Even sturdier. Did you cry, Matt? Yeah, well, during the Sally Field scene, of course. Yeah. I cry at fucking every movie, dude. I love it. Like, there has a bit of movie that really made me cry in a while, and this felt good. This felt good. Good. Now, yeah, it has something to do with hormones and having a kid where now everything makes me cry, dude. It's fucking ridiculous. I'm not even on my period or near it. And I was like, damn, I'm crying hard of this.

It must mean I have feelings. Yeah. Yeah, it's a terrific movie. And if you kind of just know this movie as a punchline for a sappy movie, like definitely actually watch it because it is very sappy, but it's a pretty terrific movie. And yeah, if you're just kind of looking for more Dolly Parton stuff to remember her with or because she's out there and her music's kind of been everywhere lately. Yeah, this is a great thing to sit down and watch. Yes.

I loved it. All right. Let's do a little plug-in. Anybody got anything? I'm going to just revert back to everything that you've been hearing about what I'm doing. I have a show coming out on YouTube soon called The Anticraft. There is a link in the show notes for you to go ahead and subscribe to the channel. Things will be happening soon.

Things happening soon. So soon. Matt, you got anything? Yeah. Come to the punchline in Philadelphia. This is October 13th and 14th. I am going to be there with my wife. And then on the 15th, we'll be at the Bell House in New York in Brooklyn.

So come out to that. That is Thursday, October 15th, or Philadelphia, the 13th and 14th. Thank you. Excellent. On September 30th, my new comic series with the artist Luke Ross, the amazing Venom hits comic book shops. Definitely go pick that up. It is going to be fun, crazy, weird, and a hoot.

And as part of my celebration of that release, I'm going to be doing a special event at the Frida Cinema in Orange County. They are letting me show two of my favorite comic book movies at the Frida Cinema. So come on down at 7 p.m. for a double feature of Blade 2 and Hellboy 2. Hell yeah.

Get those tickets at the Frida Cinema.org. I will have copies of the Amazing Venom there to sign for you. And I'm doing a couple other events around the Southern California area. I won't spam you with them right now. But yeah, definitely check out social media and if you're in Southern California, I will be doing a lot

of comic shops and things around there. But yeah, definitely come to the free to cinema. It's going to be a blast. Okay. Tune in next week when our movie will be Clue. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network.

Of artists-owned shows. Supported. Directly. By you.