Free With Ads - The 'Burbs (1989)

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

We heard there was a new The 'Burbs on Peacock so we made the thrifty choice and watched the old The 'Burbs from 1989, starring Tom Hanks and Carrie Fisher. Tune in next week when our movie will be... Hackers. ----- Follow Emily on Instagram and visit Emily's ETSY store FlemGems See Matt at the Punch Line in San Francisco March 3-7 with Beth Stelling.  Jordan wants you to order Predator Bloodshed right away! So do it! Also, Jordan has something great coming out soon: Amazing Spider-Man: Spider-Versity

Welcome to Free With Ads, the podcast that asked the question, why pay Peacock eight bucks a month to watch the new Burbs series when you can go online for free and watch the original movie and pretend it's still the 80s when everyone was cool and did cocaine. Nobody said, hard pass or we did a thing. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is The Burbs, where you get to see famous nice guy Tom Hanks act like a total fucking asshole. With us as always is the super producer, The He Freak, Matt Lee. E. Hibin' us

with those drops that make us say, hey, maybe the American dream isn't all it's cracked up to be. I want to kill

everyone. Satan is good. Satan is our pal. Hell yeah. Satan is our pal. Satan is our pal. He is. What a guy.

Hey, before we talk about this movie, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads, we're going to answer a question posed

by one of our listeners in a segment we call We Got Mail. You've got mail. This question is from Instagram user, Film Guy, 1989. Love a good film guy. Sure.

Don't love that he's younger than me, though. He flams me out. Never like when anyone's younger. Maybe that's just his favorite film year, and he's in his 60s. Or he's Taylor Swift fan. Could be as Swiftie. She's in her film guy era.

Taylor Swift is singing songs about heat. Yeah. Dog day afternoon. The fact that we haven't done heat, I mean, the boners must be just throbbing. Oh, people are ready. and wait. Please do heat.

I mean, I've always heard that if you get on a dating website and you're like a woman, that you should put heat is your favorite movie and you will get matches. Okay. I mean, but are the caliber of matches that you want? Oh, I just never will say that because sitting through a movie where, I don't know, Val Kilmer's dick isn't in my mouth. It's weird. It's a weird experience.

Why would I even sit? Why? Film Guy in 1989 would like to know if you can make a sequel to any movie you've covered on the podcast so far, which one would it be? Death of a salesman, too. Jesus. Rebirth of a salesman. Willie Lohman backed.

We've exhumed Willie's corpse. Repeat the question one more time for me. Sure, if you could make a sequel to any movie you've covered on the podcast so far, which would it be? Now, this comes up every time we reminisce about movies we've watched. The first one was bad. I would watch Jupiter Ascent. too.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of just, I'm kind of just fine if you just let the Wachowski's do whatever. Yeah. And it might not be great, but it will be interesting. It'll be a movie. Jupiter ascending, yes, yes, the bees.

Right. Oh, yeah, cross it over with the Wicker man. Yes. Yeah, put a cage on Channing Tatum's doghead. Oh, my God, perfect. Well, I mean, Moonstruck 2 would just be the disintegration of that marriage because we We know where that was going. Yeah, Moonstruck 2 is more of a bummer than death of a salesman.

Oh, for sure, it's a bummer. And that's why I don't want to see it. Yeah. But, yeah, that's a tough one. I mean. Greece three. Yeah. Even older teens.

Greece again. 60-year-olds. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, no, Repo, the Genetic Opera Part 2. Yes. Yeah. I think we are all just chomping at the bit.

For more of that guy. Or more of that. What happened? to the siblings at the end. Do you still have genetic opera left? I don't know. What? Baby, baby, baby.

I know. You know what's so crazy. He struggles to find stings all the time, but that one, it's ready. The trigger finger on that one is just locked and loaded. Jesus, itchy trigger finger. I just, I don't know. Would they ever make a sequel to Sonic the Hedgehog? I don't know.

I have ideas. Call me. You know, I mean, so. I think they'll be making those until we're all dead. There's a movie everyone wants us to do, which is like the second, the return to Oz, right? Oh, yeah, sure. But the fact that Labyrinth hasn't been sequel. Right.

Or remade or something. Well, no, don't even fucking do it. Like, they probably are. They've threatened it, but. Threatened? They've threatened it. But to me. I'm sure it would be.

like, you know, they would replace Bowie with like someone with no juice. It would be like Benson Boone or whatever. I was going to say Timothy Shalame. I was thinking of an artist. Speaking of Timothy Shalemate, have you seen that him and Matthew McConaughey have a podcast together now?

I've got to kill me, dude. We need to cover that eventually except for we don't want to. Yeah, imagine listening to it. Yeah, that would mean listening to it. I have a hard enough time listening to his like Instagram clips. I can't imagine. We all do. And honestly, I can't even think of how Timothy ishalame's voice sounds.

Yeah, what is his real voice? I don't know. I think Dune, he's not really saying much. And I don't think, like, as popular as he is and as many movies as he's been in, I don't, I can't imagine him moving or being human. Like, I don't know what he does other than have a nose. Sure. Yeah.

Like, you know, like. Just gazes defensively. I'm like, the only voice you know. he does, like what his real voice sounds like, is the voice from Dune. Well, I don't even know what that voice is. That's the one where it's like, you know, low in his head and it makes you do stuff. I don't. I can't even imagine it.

Like, it's, I know that this, I think it's because of how old I am. Drop the knife. I think that, see, that's the thing. This is probably how he orders coffee. Right. Like, it's, it is just so insignificant to me. But them being together in a podcast says a lot. lot to me about their careers equally.

Okay, I'm going to propose something. What? Other hosts, shoot this down. If, uh, if, if, if you think this is a terrible idea, Max Fund Drive's coming up. Oh! It's coming up. We're, we're going to try and get people to join the network to support the show. I don't know why I gasped.

I know what calendars are, but I just got excited anyway. It's exciting coming up in April. If we get, I'm going to say a hundred new members. Wow. who join and support this show. Yeah. Okay. We will listen to an episode of Matthew Beconi and Timothy Chalmey's podcast.

Oh, no, no. Maybe 200. 100. No, I'll do it for 100. Uh-uh. We're doing it for 200. Absolutely not. Okay.

You cannot know. All right. We're going for 200. 200 new member. We also don't have to do it. Well, okay. Well, for 200, we definitely have to do it. Well, I mean, okay, fine.

I'll do it. Yay. Oh, God. Okay. So excited to listen to advice. I just. Just, yeah. I want to hear them give me advice.

Oh, their wisdom. I love their wisdom. Oh, think of the wisdom they've accrued over years of being handsome. Yes, years and years of being alive and fuckable. I don't, like, one of them is handsome. One of them looks like Wynonna Ryder. And I don't. Who is also very handsome.

No, she's beautiful. But, yeah. Okay. She's good at stealing. Film Guy, 1989. Does that answer your question? Anyway. Time to talk about the burbs.

I think we're talking about this because of the new TV show. Yes. Also, because it is a constant free with ads on YouTube. I've seen this over and over, and I've never quite known what it was. Like, I've seen it. There's a guy in a house coat outside with like a plug that looks like it's electrified. Oh, you've never seen. This is your first time seeing it.

This is my first time. Okay. Oh, interesting. But I have seen it as a free with. that's option forever. And I have always thought that it was a movie about an apartment that was a money pit, which is a movie. You're thinking of the movie,

Money Pit. Which does that have Tom Hanks in this? It also has Tom Hanks. So I thought those were the same movie, which made me want to never watch it. Yeah, one of them is a money pit. The idea of buying a house and everything falling apart, not interested. I don't want to watch, like, everything go wrong.

Yeah, like financial stress. Yeah. Comedies. I have a hard time with it. Maybe not a millennial thing that we want to watch. Maybe not something we're interested in. We'll live anywhere. We're millennials.

Like they own a house? Awesome. Yeah, good. Who cares? If it's falling apart. Honestly, live in the fucking filth. I haven't had hot water in three days. Right.

Exactly. I took a cold shower today in a way where I think I grew new abs because I made my head go back so far to get my hair wet to wash it. and it was so cold. That is my existence at the moment. I should move, but my credit's bad. Anyway, so I thought for some reason, like, kind of a, you know, whatever weird effect where you think things are the same, I thought that that was money pit. Yeah.

And then the show. The Dylan McDermott Dermott Mulroney effect. Exactly. That's the one. So then I saw that the Burbs show with Kiki Palmer, Love Her is coming out. And then I went, oh, the Burbs. And then I went, oh, we should watch this. Did you have I seen the show yet?

I have not, but I've heard it's very good. Yeah, I've watched a couple. I like it a lot. I have a lot of affection for this movie. I've seen it a ton and was excited about the show. Can I ask you about it? So for me, I also, I know it the same way that Emily does, which is I confuse it with the money pit.

Really? Same thing? Yeah, same thing. And then I've also seen it a bunch for free. In it being available for free, I'm sad to say that I judged it. Yeah. As like, oh, it must be one of like Tom Hanks's 80s flops. Like, you know, every actor is, you know, he was.

You know, I think it was a bomb at the time, but was one of those always played on cable movies. And then I think got kind of a cult following from that. I mean, the cast is stacked. Amazing. Yeah, kind of the show as well. The show, like, has an awesome cast. And just kind of watching this and then watching the show, I'm like, oh, both of them are kind of light on jokes. skate by on like just awesome people you love to watch.

Well, the characters, like the character development and the like ensemble of this movie is the strength. Yeah, totally. By far. Well, yeah, let's talk about it. We start out with the Universal Studios logo that we zoom into that globe. I love it when they use the logo. Which made me think this was going to be an alien movie, like immediately for some reason.

Because I know this is supposed to be kind of spooky. Yeah. So you're immediately going, okay, is it vampires? Is it zombies? Is it aliens? So you have a lot of assumptions going in. Right. Yeah.

And I think so. And I think people maybe even kind of maybe even misremember it. Is there being like monsters on the block or vampires? It's just Europeans. It's just, yes, men with accents. Same thing. Accents. Why he talk like that?

He must be from space. But we zoom into a coldest. where we have suburban guy, Tom Hanks. He's walking around his cul-de-sac, but there is a creepy house on his block. A great 80s movie trope that we got used, that got used a lot. I don't have you out of a spooky house in your neighborhood?

Yes, we definitely had those, and we also, next door to my parents' house, there was an older man who lived alone. My parents could probably talk about it. I don't know if he was married or whatever, but he's a nice old man and eventually his lawn got really overgrown

people had not seen him in a while so all the dads on my street went and broke into his house and found his body was he still alive? No it would have been funny if he was and so they they handled him being sent where he needed to go so that's the unfunny version of this movie

Well, I also just, I find that to be, but I find that to be very noble and I'll never forget it because I think about that because I live alone and I will probably die alone in my apartment and I don't even have a cat to eat my face. So how am I going to get in the newspaper? I'll eat your face. Thank you. And, but yeah, I'm sure we can get a fan to eat my face. Oh, Emily, your DMs got flooded before you said that. If we had 300 new members, someone has to eat your face when you guys. You can watch your cat. Yeah, 200, we listen to Matthew McConaughey's podcast. Yeah, 300. Oh, no, if we get a thousand more listeners, you can eat half my face. Like, truly. Hell yeah, hell yeah. I only need half.

You don't need half the pot. Listen, I mean, the boobs are, you can't eat both tities. You've got to eat half my face. So as long as I got the boobs, I think I'm okay. That's all you need, baby. Truly. Phantom of the boob, bra. Oh, God, kill me.

So, we're going around. his little cul-de-sac. A lot of fun characters. There's an old guy named Walter. He's got a cute little dog. Wait. Yes. The old house that's in this, is it related to the Munsters at all?

Like, there was something about this house that feels like it's from old Hollywood, like, set stuff. You know, this was shot on the Universal Lot. When you take the tour, they pointed out. And the show is shot on the same cul-de-sac, which is really cool. So, yeah, it's, so that, I think, and I think the Munster's house is, on the universal lot. So the spooky house might be the Munster's house. I think it might be because the Rob Zombie

Monsters movie, which I found kind of charming. People don't like it. I thought it was fun. Anyway, it kind of resembles it. And I'm kind of like, maybe that's the one. I don't know. I should have researched it. But it's a cool fucking house.

I'll tell you that. Yeah. So we have the Walter, who owns the little dog, that little dog still alive. owns a used bookstore in Santa Fe. Very happy because I still does cons. I did a little community theater every now.

There's a lot of good dogs in this movie. No cats. Zero cats. That's weird. I know. Anyway, so Corey Feldman is there kind of playing a typical 80s dude with this 80s dude voice. Wait, I have a new proposal for a sting. We've got oldest teen.

What about teenist old? Okay. Because supposedly, that's his house, but he looks like he's 15 years old. Yeah, I never really understood. I guess I didn't get the detail that it was his house. Well,

he keeps like Bruce Stern goes, paint your house to him at some point. And he doesn't have any parents. Yeah, you never see any parents. I think it is his house. And he is painting. I think you're 100% right.

He's teenest old. He's listening to this. Give me that sting, baby. Oh, here it is, baby. Teenest old. He's doing them your eyes. Doing them live. Doing them live.

Hell yeah. So yeah. Corey Feldman's there. He's doing the dude voice. He's playing rock music. He looks 13. He sure does. Bruce Dern is there.

Bruce Dern is like a used to be in the Army guy. Very tremors coded. He is. Yeah, he's definitely the, I forget the name of the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yes, that is the same kind of character. Yes. He would be like a prepper now if they, you know, straight read the movie.

He is married to a beautiful babe woman who does doggy style gardening. She only gardens in doggy style. Yeah. And he doesn't pay attention to her while she's doing it. I know, such a babe. She's in the new one. She's a new character. Oh, really?

Yeah, she's terrific too. And it's a nice thing of like, you know, she's very funny in this movie, but she is kind of just there to get ogled. But they give her like a really cool character with like a fun mystery and a fun backstory in the show. Yay. What network is the new one on?

It's a peacock. All right. I'm a big peacock guy. I have a peacock prescription. Prescription? Yeah. Take two a night. I know.

Yeah, I have that. Take two twisted metals. I'm still an S&L. And call me what you've seen ponies. But yet, I'll watch it. I'll probably watch it soon. The peacock doctor. But that's really cool that they did that.

Yeah, it's really neat. So Tom, Tom Hanks, he's married to Carrie Fisher. Wow. And they basically only wear bath robes. I love it. They just wear bath robes all the time. She don't always wear a bathrobe. Oh, that's right.

She does kind of get babed up to go across the street. In a dress that I will fantasize about every day. I want that dress. She looks incredible. Yes, help us. Carrie Fisher. And she's like a really great wife character that I think easily they could have written her in a way where she was naggy. Yeah.

Or shrill when she's just really the coolest wife you could possibly have. I don't think that's the writing. I think that's her. That's her. I think she does only. have nagging to do, but she's like terrific and like elevation. She is a writer and a genius and brilliant

and you know, like there's no way that she brings things to stuff that nobody could. But there somebody brought this out to me that I was talking about that they they keep score at Jeopardy like. Yeah, there's a scene of them watching Jeopardy and

they're like keeping score on paper so. That's so cute. That's a fun couple like as a couple's thing. Yeah. I think that sounds really fun. That's how you keep the magic alive. They also have, like, really good chemistry. And I kind of wanted them to make out more. Me too.

There was something about, like, both of them together. They're sexy together. They're really sexy together. And I was like, I love this couple. I wish they would stop fighting and fuck. Yeah. Mom, dad. I really, I think they should.

Also, they had a son that you only see in the beginning and then never again. Yeah, that son just kind of disappears. Although the first time you see him, he's eating Gremlin cereal. That's a fun nod to. the director of this movie Joe Dante. Oh, that's cool. That makes sense. So, yeah, it's Tom's vacation.

He just wants to hang around and spy on the neighbors. They want to, but Carrie Fisher and the kid, they want to go to the cabin. He didn't want to do that. He just wants to hang around and watch Jeopardy. His dumb buddy comes over. Who's a hungry guy? Yep, this was a comedy character you had in the 80s, just a guy who was hungry. Hungry neighbor.

We found out had a wife at some point, like towards the end. And you're like, what is happening? They just didn't want to pay a woman to have a character. No, they can't have the cool guy across the street. You can have the cool guy across the street be someone with a wife. Have you ever seen that actor and anything else? Oh, yes. He's wonderful.

His name is Rick Dukamon. No, it isn't. It is. For a minute, I'm like, is this one of the Bill Murray brothers. But yeah, this guy is like a perennial 80s guy. Canadian sort of like comedic actor. You, the only other movie that I remember him from was Groundhog Day. Oh, yeah.

Where he has a very small role. Oh, wow. When Bill Murray says his name is Phil, he turns around and goes, Phil, like the groundhog? That's it. That's his line. And I was, for some reason, I was like, I love that guy. And then I saw him again in this. And I was very happy.

Wonder if he's still around. He's dead. Oh, wow. Anyway, the character's name is art. We will be referring to him like that, moving forward. Yeah, he was a major part of this movie. But, so they are, you know, spying on these weirdos across the street. Some new people moved into the haunted house and they don't even know what's going on over there.

Well, it's noisy. We know that. Yes, there's weird noises coming from the house. They go over, they knock on the door and bees come out of the house, a bunch of bees. I'll say there's not a lot of, like, funny lines in this movie. But, like, there's a lot of fun slapstick. There's a lot of people falling down, and the falling down made me laugh. Well, there's also our buddy from Children of the Corn that is our redheaded weirdo.

Oh, does he play the weird kid in this? Yes. Oh, I didn't know that. That's the children of the corn guy. Holy shit. This guy had a fun 80s. I know. Well, it's like, we talk about this sometimes that, like, there's a role that you know helped to get them another role.

Right. Which I think Children of the Corn had to be before. this. I'm pretty sure. Oh yeah, yeah, definitely. But yeah, that definitely, so people went, a guy from Children of the Corps. Yeah, if you just need a spooky kid. Yeah. They just got this guy. I mean, and boy, did they, I don't think they needed to do as much makeup on him as they did. They gave him these crazy under eye and it's like,

he's a ginger, it's enough. Yeah, just look at him. Just look at him. This freakish red hair. Yeah, he's fine. Courtney Gaines. That's the name of the actor. Courtney Gaines. I mean, he's still around. He is. He's only 60. And he's 5 foot 11. Good for him. He's still playing creepos.

Do you know that, man? I don't know that. I'd have to look into what these movies are. He did a movie called Candy Corn in 2019. I assume it's a Children of the Corn spin off. Or a parody or something. But yeah, as soon as I saw him, I went, Children of the Corn.

All right. Good eye. No problem. He's got a, wouldn't we all like to have a lane? That would be nice. I mean, that's true. It's like. To have a lane.

As we talk about this a lot with like character actors, just like when we watch Ghost, our guy who was the angry ghost and the thing where it's like a character actor who is recognizable, but you don't know their name. If he's walking down the street, you're not going to bother him kind of thing. That is the sweet spot. Yeah, totally. I think all three of us would just die. You'd all die to be that guy.

To be those guys. We would die for it. So salute to you. What's his name? Corn cheese. Well, yes. Corn cheese. His name is corn cheese.

Corn cheese. His name is. His name is. His name is. Bucks snoring. There you go. What is he's? Outlander!

Yeah, Outlander. They should have had him say Outlander in this. Come on. You probably get the people that they want. He gets that a lot. So Walter, the guy with the dog, goes missing. Nobody can find Walter. And we start to suspect that the people across the street are responsible.

There's kind of a funny little scene where Tom Hanks is kind of getting paranoid and he's flipping through the channels. and he only sees horror movies. And then he goes and has this like very crazy, stylized dream sequence that is like nothing in the movie. Amazing. And it's awesome and you kind of wish the movie. Yeah,

because the actual movie is all boring. It felt very Tim Burton, like Beetlejuice kind of thing. It felt like Mandy. Yeah, no kidding. Yeah. But yet, more of this, please. I know. It was cool as fuck.

But, yeah, so the dog is loose. But also this dog gets, he just lets the dog rip and go shit in everyone's hearts. But I love the dynamic of the neighbors all being kind of tiffy with each other. They're all spying on each other all the time. Yeah. Which is kind of fun, very judgy. And it just goes to show you when you have enough money to have a house in a nice neighborhood,

you're still always paranoid. Yeah, you're inventing problems. You still don't trust each other. It's just like that's, which is the point of the movie. But they thought because the dog is loose, this old man is dead. his house. Right. So, yeah.

So he has this dream sequence where, like, he's getting barbecued by, like, Satanist, like a chainsaw comes through his wall. It's just everything he'd been watching in these movies. And this has what I think is the best gag in the movie where, so he kind of sees Walter with an axe in his head. And he's whole, Walter's little dog has a tiny axe in its head. They gave the dog a little. It's so funny.

Very good. And it's like, and you're like, why isn't the fucking movie like this? Why isn't the movie just like gags and... It was having so much fun. There's a lot of fun in the first half of the movie. Yeah, and it's like... And it's like, this guy directed Gremlins. And Gremlins, too.

Like, he's crazy. What else has he directed? Is he... Anything else? Let's see. Joe Dante, the first piranha movie. Fabulous. Which I can't imagine we won't watch.

Oh, 100%. Lunitude's back in action. Hell yeah. Oh, that's good stuff. I think there's a lot of directors, like, from this time, who just wanted to make Looney Tunes movies, you know, and kind of tried to put that slapstick shit in there, and he actually got to make it, which is kind of cool.

That's so cool. So, yeah, Joe Dante, a bunch of great stuff. Good for him. Is he still with us? He's still with us. That's amazing. Yeah. I know some people who worked on the Gremlin's animated show,

and he would, he was Joe Danty pretty hands-on and pretty lovely, from what I understand. What? There's a Gremlin's animated show. Yeah, it's on HBO Max. There's two seasons of it. Wait, is that from current day, Is that like a 90s?

Yeah, it was made a couple years ago. What? I know. A lot of TV. Too much TV. Too much TV. Okay, cool. And too many jobs.

Am I right, guys? I got all these jobs. I'm drowning in work. I hate what people say that. Yes. Anyway. So, yeah, they decide they're going to like go over to the house now. Like they've been snooping around for too long.

They go over to the house. Carrie Fisher gets all babed up. Looking great. Hey, she looked great in the robe, but yeah, whatever this dress is, she looks fantastic. If you can look good in this kind of bowl cut situation. Yeah. Good God, woman. Like, you're the hottest babe there ever was.

Yep, hottest in the world. Definitely up there. She's so cool. And no one oonga, if you know what I mean. Jabba no bother. Stop. Do you know what I mean? I do, unfortunately.

Yes. So there's, as we mentioned, a creepy family with weird accents. We've got the redhead kid who has like mutton chops. And we have Rubin, who is just kind of a, I don't know, just kind of an old creepy guy. And then they're like, the leader of their family is the doctor. Yeah. They keep asking Rubin, he's like, are you Slavic? Just over and over.

It's really funny. This guy for some reason is obsessed with finding out of this family is Slavic. And that's like a funny kind of old guy who just wants. And, you know, it's usually because they're racist. Yes, yes. They're so racist that they want to know what kind of ethnic white you are. Because once they know what kind of ethnic white, then they can do the appropriate slur. It's like, I need to know if you're Polish or not.

What are I going to do with these lightbulb jokes? I need to know how much you like the Pope because I have a feeling about that. I'm an old guy. Well, and the character, the Bruce Dern character that is clearly. He's clearly, you know, former, he's a veteran, some kind. And there's also a lot of guns in this movie. A lot of guns. The guns don't really go any.

They do, they're like a, you know, Chekhov's got, they go off a bunch and they never come back later on. Right. But, yeah, there's like, there's a lot of idiots. And then the guns never, it pisses me off that the guns never really come back. But the Bruce Stern thing is, yeah, he wants to go into a war somehow. He's very like into it. And I think that's kind of the thing of like Tom Hanks and art and like you can tell they love this. Yeah. And like it's giving their lives purpose. Yeah. It's giving me Harriet the spy vibes too. Maybe a little bit. Because like which we should watch some time. But like this whole idea that everything is a mystery and I document everything and I'm spying on everybody. And that's probably you know, that's that's how fortune and QAnon started. Sure.

That's right. That's right. I know, yeah, these guys, if you think about their modern equivalents, not so funny. No, not funny. Yeah, you can find this premise on Nextdoor on that app whenever you'll be. They managed to be racist against three white men. These actual guys are spying on comet ping pong right now. Yeah, exactly.

What's in the basement? Literally, they're asking about the basement. They have hobbies. So, yeah, so they have this very, like, awkward, like, tea time with them. This is a very fun little thing yet. They light a bunch of weird spooky candles and, like, we thought we'd make it romantic for the ladies.

So many candles. A lot of candles. And so, you know, it's weird, but they don't see anything explicitly criminal going on except Tom Hanks found Walter's toupee. So that convinces Tom Hanks that like the body's buried somewhere. So they had this big, like, raid on the house. And that's kind of the grand finale. And we'll talk about it when we come back.

Hey, we're back. It's free with ads. We're going to talk about the thrilling finale of the burbs. So all the dudes, Tom Hanks, Art, Brewster. And they're all going to, like, go over and raid the house and look for Walter's body. There's a great gag where Corey Feldman just invites over all his dumb friends. to watch. Who all look like they're 16

and you're like, is this a home alone scenario? I know. It's like, what's the movie going on there? There's like a whole separate movie about Cory Feldman. We're just not seeing. Well, it just feels like he's a child that owns a, like, an expensive

home in this suburban called a... I don't know if they ever say he owns it. They never say it, but I mean... I like your head cannon that he owns it. But I mean, but Bruce Stern goes, paint your house. Yeah, I think it is.

It is absolutely he owns it. That's what I got from. It is the weirdest. I'm sure that if I looked into it further, but it is the weirdest decision to make, because I thought for sure he was the son of someone else. I also thought he was going to fuck Bruce Stern's wife the whole time. I thought that's what it was setting it up for,

was them having like a little sec, because they were like, hey, we need to put boobs in this movie. It's the 80s. Comedies have to have boobs. Well, it would have made more sense that it's like, okay, this is like kind of a frat house. or something.

Right, yeah. But instead, they didn't want to do that. I'm so confused. And what's even weirder about it is they basically stopped making him a part of the crew halfway into the movie where like when they're all in the toupee guy's house, like looking to see if he's still alive. He's interacting. It's great.

It's fun. He like knocks over a plate of food. Art was trying to eat food again. So funny. The thing about art. He's really. That is the thing about him. This guy's hungry.

I will say this. In the opening, Carrie Fisher is like, are you even going to eat this food? Like, she's making breakfast for her son and for Tom Hanks. And he's just so distracted by the neighbors that he's like not hungry. Right. So crazy. You can eat and be obsessed with the neighbors. But she feeds art and the sausage links.

I got to tell you, I am weak for a sausage link. Oh, yeah. I would love a sausage. I'm not a sausage patty. I'm a link girl. And that, my mouth just got so wet. Hell yeah. All I want.

I like when you describe it that way. Some listeners loved that noise and some hated it. Sorry. I think just like the idea of like eggs. If you love the noise, maximum fun.org slash joll. 200 gets you more mouth noise. If you want to listen to me, eat eggs and sausage, I will give that to you because I am so hungry right now.

but like like okay Biscuits with white gravy How many DMs can one person get? I'll be honest with you Can I tell you you think I get a lot of DMs But I don't like the thing that I get Is like weird Etsy messages occasionally Oh yeah

Oh that's fun And um Let's try to get you more I don't want them Oh okay All right well I don't want them because it don't stop sending them It don't make me no money

Yeah Oh you don't want the Etsy messages I don't want the Etsy messages that are creepy buy something god damn it but also if you send me... It's people sending you messages on Etsy? Yeah through Etsy Okay which you know Is people not buying anything? Yeah

I encounter this too When you're like promoting something specific And with you it's Etsy it specifically is Yeah And people are like I like when you're posting about the thing You're like hi something else And I'm like okay I'm talking about this thing

Yeah But something else I'm like nope I don't want to get into a whole other thing. Could I draw everyone's attention away from this thing you need to make money? Yeah, exactly. I got to tell you that I'm starting to become more of a seasoned bitch. And if you're doing stuff like that, I'm going to tell you, you're out of here.

I'm not doing it anymore. This is your block era. Yeah. Sorry, guys. I just, I got to protect my pace. That's right. My pace and he's protecting. When it comes, our peace is all we have.

But that's not to say that we're not. very thrilled and gracious that people give a shit about us. Yeah, no, I think most, most messages are good. Most messages are good. I like our messages. Most messages are, yeah. It's crazy how lovely our fans are. Like, I don't, I don't know.

We listen, we ratch you, listeners, but you're great. You're great, but every once in a while, some of y'all tell me to, some of you all tell me to film myself taking a shit for $35 on cameo. 35 is so low for that. Wow, really? Uh-huh. Did they reference the pot? Is it someone from the podcast?

I don't know, but they went on Cameo and asked for that, and now my price is $80. Uh-huh. Damn, they single-handedly raised the price of the brick. The price of the brick going up. The shit request, the brick went up. Yeah, that is. Well, that's tariffs for it. I mean, just like, that is.

It's in the news. It's turdiffs. Turtifs, yes. A tariff on turds. I ironically love that joke, Jordan. more creeps than say stuff like my prize is going up yeah oh yeah anyways Cory Feldman should have been in the movie yeah I wonder if he was like written out or cut out or if they like I think there was a parent in because they needed a young person I think

they did that I think that's it I think there was another character that was his parent yeah maybe that was cut out or something and it just became too complicated but it's like the way that they fit in this like clearly 14 year old who just is supposed to paint his own house like wild but every time he like his buddies all came over they're like this is going to be the best part oh that was kind of fun yeah and they like his group of buddies is very well cast there's a moment where yells at bruce third of like hey i want you to meet Andrew johnson and the guy just goes hey yeah and i'm like who's this guy and yeah of course they talk about like we got to call the pizza dude and they have and they say pizza dude

so much. I'm sure that was just like, that was a punch line that was like saying hard pass now, saying pizza dude. There was the thing really exciting about calling for pizza. Oh, totally. Yeah, when we were kids. Because you really didn't know when it was coming. Yeah. But it was fun because also like as a teen, which this guy is the teeniest old, like your parents gave you cash. I know. And you sat there with the cash. Put a little magnet on the fridge, magnet at the 20 to the fridge. You got to tip the guy. And you felt like an adult for the first time in your life.

You had to give them the coupon too. Oh, the coupon. Cut out that Domino's coupon. You're getting two mediums, bitch. When you guys were kids, what, uh, which pizza brand were you ordering from? You were dominoes in our family. We were dominoes. Yeah.

Oh, no, let's see. When we, I think we, which one did the Bigfoot pizza? Ooh. Is that pizza hut? I think that was Pizza Hut. I don't know about this Bigfoot pizza. Yeah, I vaguely remember. That was a really big pizza.

Is that like a Harry and the Henderson's promo? You know, it might have been. Honestly, because I mean, we were from the golden age of tie-in fast food. Which, can I tell you, Harry and the Henderson's never free with ads? And I have been searching and waiting for it. It is killing me. Anyway. Bigfoot pizza was the launch in 1993.

It was Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut. Okay. And it looks like. What was it? Was it a square pizza? What was it? It's Pizza Hut did the square pizza.

I mean, they also did round as well, but the big food. They had round. Matt, they had round. I know they had round. They also had round. They had round. And they had stuffed crust, which I thought was really cool. That stuff crust mess was crazy.

Yeah. But yeah, Domino's for us because, damn, those wings. Anyway, my mouth is wet. Wet mouth. Watch out. So, okay, so Corey Feldman and his like dumb buddies, they're all watching the house. Waiting for the pizza dude. And so, like, Tom Hanks is in the basement digging for bones.

And wouldn't you know it, Walter, who they think is dead, comes home. He was just in the hospital. But Tom Hanks, while, like, that's being revealed, hits a gas line and blows up the house. Yep, yep. Which also, they had a crazy furnace in the basement. You have to kind of reference that. Like, everything about this house is suss. Right.

And for good reason. They're not wrong to be afraid. They're not wrong to be suss as hell. Like this furnace goes to, I forget the degrees, like 500 degrees or something. A lot of degrees. Yeah. That's like pizza oven. Yeah.

You could throw a big foot in there. Yeah. Whoa. You could throw a foot in there. Sure. Which they did. Spoiler alert. But anyway, yeah, there was like everything was suss in that place, which I wish we would have

known a little bit more about the details of why things were suss. Yeah. They tell you the story of the. previous owners, right? Right. Like that is sort of the lore of the house, is the previous owners. It was kind of like the story you explained,

but it's a funnier version. Right. It's, well, it's my friend just, well, my neighbor just died. Right. This was like a family that was killed by a guy, and he was like an ice cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I think he owned the drugstore. He was like the soda jerk guy. He held his family with an ice pick. Isn't that crazy that that was a thing at drugstores? It was like, you could get, soda pop and heroin

Yeah Well I mean That's kind of where The soda shop Ice cream and suppositories That's right Yeah dog That's fun night

Reparation H and preparation I For ice cream Nah that's a fun joke Yeah well I mean There's still are Shove ice cream up your ass Oh my hemorrhoids

I gotta get some rocky road up there Mint chip Kill the pizza dude I gotta shove the ice cream up my ass Who cares you can say anything on a podcast Far out. I don't know if you guys ever had a bad hemorrhoid before. Oh, yeah.

I have my first one recently. And I did, I had an ice cube. Okay. Oh. Well, you wrap the ice cube in a washcloth. And then you just kind of do your best. And you do. And that's all you can do.

This is our only fans episode. No, I think this is. You got to put this behind a payroll. It's too hot. No, but I think it's important for people to know you're not alone. And that's so true. That was my remedy for. for discomfort.

And I think it was a pretty good one. There you go. Absolutely. But you're supposed to go into a warm bath and do like bath salts. That's supposed to be the good thing. But my bath is full of roaches. Okay. So maybe don't go in there.

And no hot water. Can we blow up your place? It sounds like we need to. Honestly, yeah. I would like to. It would be good. So the house, the house blows up.

Tom Hanks comes out like looking like Wiley Coyote. He just like has the, you know, I just got blown up by the big circular bomb. eyes is swollen shut. Yeah. And so, like, he kind of apologized to Carrie Fisher. He's like, oh, I've been such an asshole.

And then they put him in an ambulance. And I'll say, like... She doesn't get in with him, which is so funny. I know. He just kind of, like, goes in the ambulance by himself. And I will say that, like, you know, I razz this movie for its, like, lack of jokes. But, like, Tom Hanks, when Tom Hanks freaks out, it's so funny. He's so good at it.

He's so good at it. Yeah, I'm so good at it. It's just to like, hey, I'm Tom Hanks. I'm out. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. I'm talking. He is good at that.

He's great at it. Yeah. And that is like consistently funny in this movie. So yeah, he gets in the ambulance by himself. His wife doesn't do anything. Nobody helps him in there either. Yeah. He just goes and lays down.

He walks his ass into an ambulance. That's like a funny just like locked off shot where you have to like watch him get in there and try and like put himself on the gurney. Yeah. How does insurance even bill you for that? Like. Yeah. They'll find a way. So yeah.

But the doctor. He's in the. ambulance with him and he turns out was bad the whole time oh shit twist i know and he killed the owners of the house before them so they could move in yeah um creepy children from the corn kid is driving and he is wearing a like alpine hat which i think is the worst hat in the movie hell yeah yodeler hat yep yep yep which says to me that this whole time they're trying to figure out what they were they're German or something. Yes.

I don't know. Swiss? Swiss maybe, yeah. I think they did kind of a Moira Rose thing where it was just like, it was like an all over the place, European accent. Just a European accent.

Yes. The ambulance crashes into Arts House and they see that the doctor's trunk was full of bones and that's evidence enough for the cops. But it's also like... I love how you say that as if it's not evidence enough for anyone else.

Well, whose bones are they? I don't know. But that's the thing. I can get you bones. I didn't kill somebody. I can find bones. Just because my trunk is filled with bones. Doesn't mean I killed something.

People are always making assumption about my bones piles. Honestly, that just... Human bones are around. It just looks like inventory for the store I used to work at. That's right. It's right. If you had, I don't have a car, but like if I did, it would just be like... So there you go.

Which, you know, Nancy, the owner of Necromance, who's now back in New Orleans, You know, she was kind of a recurring character on storage wars. Okay. Really? Yes. And that's how she often, like, found because there's like, you know, medical schools and facilities that will store, you know, skeletons and stuff that the schools no longer need. So she would bid on those things. It must suck to be a skeleton that's no longer needed.

You know, this was something I was talking to someone. Maybe you wouldn't feel useful. Yeah. No. I used to be at a science class. Well, no. I was talking to someone. point at me and tell me what I was.

Like people donate their bodies to science. And now I'm in a rob zombie music video. Exactly. That is exactly true. Now I'm in Johnny Depp's guest bathroom. He puts scarves on me. It's so true. It used to be kids would point at my femur and say what it was.

What the fuck? I was on Broadway in Hamlet. I mean, I don't know. Like, yeah, that's true. It is kind of weird. because eventually, I guess they cycle through the bones. But that's so that trunk could have just been going to Necromay. That's right.

So the trunk's full of bones. The guy who was actually bad. But why? What was he doing with him? Yeah. I'm just ending. It's very much like. It is the weird.

I was like excited for the twist. Yeah. And the twist is just that like, oh. Europeans bad. I guess. Europe bad. I mean, you know, nine times that. pretend you're going to be right about that.

I mean, they got that Pope over there. What's he doing? You can't trust that. Also, three men living together? Thank you. What's going on? Very European. Very European.

So, yeah, and then they do that thing that I love in 80s movies where they show the actor and then their name and they show like a little clip. Yeah. Anyway, I like that. Yeah, that was nice. I like that too. I should keep doing that. Yeah, and that's the end of the burbs.

We're going to rank. it but first we gotta do the hunk watch hell yeah it's hunk watch i think we're gonna be in agreement on this one uh oh actually i don't i mean we may let's hear it i think i maybe didn't know that this was a cut and dry hunk watch what do you think emily it's carrie fisher yeah all the fucking way like this woman without her in it i think would have been a little too silly i think her as the straight man yeah was she's she's not just a straight man she's so charming you are happy whenever she's on camera. Totally.

Because she's the best. She's the goat. But she has this sex appeal that is like undeniable. Yeah. Like I, it's just something that cannot be taught. She's amazing and so funny without having to say incredibly funny. Yeah,

she doesn't have a lot of like awesome dialogue. But she makes a meal out of it. She really does. She is funny and charming and fun. And her and Tom Hanks being married to each other. it is lovely to see to age appropriate people who are equal and attractiveness. It's true. And it was fun.

And that dress, I will fantasize about that dress forever. It's like, I can't, it's like a sundress. That is a sundress. Whenever people talk about sundresses, like make men horny or whatever, that is the sundress. Like when people talk about sundress, I see other people's examples of sundress. those are not sundresses. This dress that she wore when they go over to have tea, that is a sundress.

It's a very nice sundress. Yep. I would like to undress that sundress. Yeah. Hold on, that's too fine. I'm going to cut it. No, I'm going to add it again. You know what?

Double it up. Double it. I make a sting out of it. I think that every girly girl deserves a sundress like that. Okay, I'm with you on Carrie Fisher. Matt, do you have any... I mean, I think if we're doing it in the, you know, honest way, It is, of course, Carrie Fisher.

You were 100% right about that, Emily. I will just give a quick shout out to Henry Gibson. This is the doctor. The little guy. I love him. Somebody's trying to be different. Just a shout out to him because he's like one of those like character actors. He's another that guy from that thing in this movie.

He was also a magnolia. He had a bit part in that. I've never seen that. Oh, it's so cool. We'll do that eventually. Well, you'll hate it. You have ADHD. Hang on.

Your ADD will not. I'm a David Lynch girlie. Okay, you might like it then. Like ADHD is not cut and dry. You're right. That's true. That's true. Hopefully you, what is it called when you like micro-obscise?

Hyper-focus. Hyper-focus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like imagination. Yes. So you may like it. But anyways, Henry Gibson. Shout out to you, little guy.

Love you. Little guy. Love you, little guy. All right. Well, we're going to rank the burbs when we come back. Hey, we're back. It's free with ads. We're going to rank the burbs on a scale of one to ten. Super loud commercials. But first, we want to tell you about some stuff. First of all, hey, I think this may be a given. I'll say it anyways. If you're not subscribed to this podcast, subscribe. Some people I know just kind of pick and choose episodes or they listen on the desktop. Give us a subscribe. If you like the show, it helps us out. It's an easy thing you can do. And, you know, rank us five stars on your podcast and platform. That's nice, too. and go to maximum fun.org slash join.

You can hear all our bonus episodes, including the one we just taped. Matt, I don't know if this one's dropped yet, but... It is true. Well, then you can listen to it right now. We reviewed the pilot of Beverly Hills 902-1-0. Yeah. Yeah, tons of fun.

None of us had ever seen Beverly Hills 902-1 before. So if you want to hear our gut reactions to a cultural touchstone that we kind of didn't like, maximum fun. org slash join. All right. Let's rank the burbs, shall we? I'll go first since I have the most experience with this.

I watched this movie at a time as a kid. And watching it, I kind of realized what I think I liked about it as a kid is it's kind of spooky, but nothing scary happens. And I was such a scared cat as a kid. It took me forever to be able to watch a horror movie. It's pretty spooky. Yeah, it's really spooky, but there's no like gore, nothing like upsetting happens. And yeah, just the horror twist.

just happens randomly out of nowhere at the end. And it's not much of a twist. It's just like, he was bad. Like there's bones. There's bones. So yeah, I, but yeah, revisiting it, I was like, a lot of funny stuff happens in this. Yeah. It's like charming and it's like a great hang.

And like, yes, it's like all the 80s, you know, heavy hitters that you love. So yeah, I'm going to get out of as a six. It was a really fun revisit. But yeah, I think there's like funnier. comedies from this era. But like it's it's it's a pleasure. And if you like loved it as a kid, fun rewatch. Emily, what you think?

I was a little disappointed with the ending. I'm going to tell you. I loved there were little details at the be. I love the characters. Like that's the thing. Anything with a little ensemble cast where you get to know neighbors at different like places in the neighborhood that are all like connected to each other. And it was cool how they came together.

and it was fun. And then there were little details like the spooky house, they were spying on them, and they'd open a garage to bring out a spooky car just to take the trash out and then bring the car back into the garage. And I'm like, oh my God, I can't wait to find out why these people are so weird and quirky. And then it just goes nowhere.

Sure. I hate that. Like it really felt like, they got lazy and gave up on the movie like towards the end and the first half was so fun it felt like a Ryan Murphy show where like they're building up stuff

and you're so excited yeah I cannot end anything look at all these stars in this thing and then just the flaccid sticking of that landing is it bummed me out so yeah I'm giving it a six as well it's a fun hang I think that's a great

way of putting it. The Corey Feldman of it all makes zero sense. I don't know what the fuck that was. I bet you he was so famous at the time. They just that they're just like oh we need a kid in here. I know but it was like you could have just made him

Tom Hanks's son. Like what is this? It's so confusing. And then at the end there's more neighbors that just are coming out of their house and I'm like who are these people? I don't know. It was a mess and it feels like something that was edited to death maybe,

but I had a blast watching it. I'm just very disappointed in the ending. Also, it felt like maybe there was supposed to be a lesson in xenophobia. No xenophobia is right, it turns out, according to this movie. According to this movie. Judging people poorly or obsessing about people that are different from you. And instead, they just went, no, if you have suspicions about people who are different from you. You're right. It was a fucking mess. I don't know.

So yeah, it's a six for me, dog. Matt, what, what do you think? I am also, you know what? We're doing it. We're giving it a six, six, six, six, baby. Just like the address of the house when they knock on the door and the numbers fall over. Mark of the beans. Oh, yeah. You mean all the booby traps that went nowhere? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The home alone house that wasn't. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I feel you guys, I will say that the, I found it was a funny comedy button of like, hey, your suspicions are right. I was like, that's funny. It's a good twist, I think, although I do wish they had expanded on it a little bit more. Yeah. I enjoyed this movie. I was shocked at how much I liked it. But at the same time, I did find eventually I got, I was like, all right, let's wrap it up, folks. Oh, and they won't really do that.

Yeah, yeah, it was great. Oh, yeah. Well, that's our review of the burbs. Just a quick check-in about something said at the top of the show. Emily, you mentioned Timothy Shalamee and Matthew McConaughey's podcast. Yeah. The thing you're referencing their CNN variety town hall. What?

This is, I guess maybe this is, and we can dive into this at some point, but I think their conversation was some sort of CNN thing. Thank God. So it's not a podcast. I think it is in the style of, I think it's a loose hang. with two visionaries. Oh, I still, I still need 200 new members to watch it. So I think it like,

so let's, let's call it this. So if you, if we get 200 new members, we will watch this Timothy Chalomey, Matthew McConaughey, full conversation, which is,

anybody want to guess what the time is on this thing? 420, huh? Oh God, I fucking wish, bro. 666. That would be nice too. 69. It is one hour at

10 minutes. Oh! Just get those joining fingers ready for maximum fun. Do you think there's a world where we can live stream and it's legal? I have no idea how that works. Maybe if everybody just pushes play at the same time, they could watch us watching it. Oh yeah, watch a long type thing. But then it's like I want to be able to pause it and go hang on.

Yeah, exactly. Maximumfun.org slash join. All right. It's up to y'all. Anybody got any plugs? I don't. Matt? By the time you're listening to this podcast, you have already missed me.

What? Yesterday, I was at the punchline in San Francisco. But guess what? I am also at the punchline in San Francisco again tonight. That's right. You can see me all week and weekend from March 3rd until March 7th. I will be at the punchline in San Francisco with my good friend Beth St. We are going to be performing.

It's going to be great. Get your tickets. Link in show notes. All right. And I will remind folks, you can pick up copies of Predator Bloodshed, the Marvel comic written by me at your local comic book store.

Now we've got five issues coming your way. If you like the first one, please tell your local comic book concierge. I don't know. Sure. Yeah. Tell that nice person with blue hair that you want all five issues of Predator Bloodshed.

And while you're there, pre-order Web of Venom and Spider-Versity. Two other Marvel Comics written or co-written by me. You're going to love them. They're turning out great. And I'll be talking more about those on future episodes. All right. Tune in next week when our movie will be hackers. Maximum Fun.

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