Free With Ads - The Faculty, with Janet Varney

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

On this week's Hallo-Peen episode of Free With Ads, we invited comedian Janet Varney (The JV Club) to talk about the high school sci-fi horror film The Faculty, starring Josh Hartnett, Elijah Wood, Clea DuVall, and Jon Stewart! Check out Janet's podcast The JV Club and also her new podcast E. Pluribus Motto with Janet Varney and John Hodgman.Visit Emily's ETSY store right now and buy some stuff! Great for holiday shopping!Jordan, Emily, and Matt did an AMA livestream on YouTube, so if you missed it you can watch it right here!We have a TREAT for you MaxFun members! We just released a new BONUS episode of FWA  - the never-before-released pilot episode of the podcast Free With Ads in which we talk about the 1972 horror movie Frogs. We recorded this episode on Emily's couch and had no idea we'd ever do more than one episode. To listen to our bonus content, join Maximum Fun now

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Netflix eight bucks a month for five seasons of Stranger Things when you can go on YouTube for free and watch teens fight monsters for a tidy 90 minutes plus all the FAMCA you can handle. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is The Faculty, the teen sci-fi horror movie which could only be more 90s if it showed characters chugging Crystal Pepsi at the Warped Tour. It's Hello, Peen, our month-long celebration of free horror movies

and jokes about the male reproductive organ that some call the peen. It's very exciting because today we're joined by an incredible guest. She's an actor, improviser, and podcast host. You've heard her voice on animated shows like The Legend of Korra and on podcasts like The JV Club. And soon her new show, E! Pluribus Motto with John Hodgman right here on Maximum Fun. It's Janet Varney.

Hi, Janet. Hello, friends. Thank you so much for having me. I am glad that I showed up for a class today and didn't have my parent write me a doctor's note. I guess I'm going to start making high school jokes now. Wasn't planning on that. Yeah, I think that works.

In case that wasn't obvious, that was not funny. Just look out. Someone might try and put a weird worm in your ear. Oh, I hope so. Yeah, that'd be fun. Hey, before we talk about this movie, which is as of this recording, streaming free with ads, we're gonna get to know our guest

in a segment we call Talk to Guests. Talk to Guests, ding. Hey, Janet, your new podcast, E! Pluribus Motto with Jon Hodgman, you talk about state mottos and the various signifiers that states use to identify themselves. How did y'all come up with this idea? Like any good podcast idea, Jordan, it came up doing a different podcast. Everything.

It's a real inception, inception, layer, layer, layer. Hodgman was on the JV club and we were talking about a bunch of different things and there were a handful of things that we were joking about that we were like, I do a podcast about that. I do a podcast about that. But the one that really stuck, like I couldn't get over how much I would do a podcast about it and so what he was this conversation about, and I think it was probably, what's the one that it's like the one that everyone always gives an example of and that Hodgman especially

loves which is like, add Astra, par Astra, Astra, Astra. And so, and I was like, oh yeah, that's the same- Astra meaning skyward maybe? Yeah, like to the sky, we sky, to the sky, star sky. And so we ended up sort of threatening to make this podcast during a Max Fun Drive and then lo and behold we started recording it and we are about to release our first mini season. They're kind of seasons of chunks of states like in little groups.

So the first season will be 10 states and you could hear all about things like you know the state mammal and then the state like other mammal. There's a lot of small. Who decided for these to all exist? Like who got together like you know the Declaration of Independence or whatever but like who got together and said there's got to be a bird, a mammal, a mineral Independence or whatever, but like, who got together and said there's gotta be a bird, a mammal?

A mineral? A flower? Exactly, exactly. A side dish? Exactly. That is weird. It's something we definitely explore, especially because you may or may not be surprised

to learn a lot of kids sign petitions in classrooms and send it up the chain, and then stuff gets signed in as legislation. And then there are just, I guess, powerful mineral lobby groups that are like, well, we do, you know. We do pick a lot of peaches here. So there's just a bunch of third graders in 1975

who are like, we love Quartz. Honestly? And then Michigan's just fucking stuck with it. Yeah, I don't know if it's Michigan and I do but there's a lot of there's a lot of moving parts to how things and some things are unofficial and some things are official and Sometimes we go down the rabbit hole of like what it takes to make something official And that is also kind of gobsmacking. I guess I will admittedly, my home state of California, I don't know the motto or mineral. I'm guessing the animal is the bear because it's on the flag. Guess what buddy, we haven't even gotten to California yet. Maybe we'll have you on for California and we can all discover it together.

I would guess that the motto of California, I don't know this, it's, oh, I spaced. Oh, oh, I spaced, I'm sorry, oh. It's either that or that's what's up. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. California. And Emily, Tennessee's talk shit get hit, right? Yeah.

Or at this point it might be Hawk to I don't really know. Our forefathers Hawk to it on this land. Yeah beautiful beautiful. Janet you're joining us for Hello Pean when I asked you you know what your scary movie tolerance was you you're you're like pretty game you like a scary movie tolerance was. You're like pretty gay. You like a scary movie? Sure, yes. I think I said to you, I'm up for almost anything, but I don't tend to care for the really disturbing. I mean, I gave Hereditary as an example.

I've never seen it, but it has been described to me, and I was like, nope, never need to see that. Do not need to see that. It'll fuck you up. It fucked me up pretty bad. So I don't need, yeah, I guess nope, never need to see that. Do not need to see that. It'll fuck you up, it fucked me up pretty bad. So I don't need, yeah, I guess I don't need to go there and then, but I can sort of handle, I think, anything else. Yeah.

Do you remember, a listener asked us last episode what our first horror movie in the theaters was. Do you remember yours or the first time you were ever just fucking scared in a movie as a kid? Well they re-released Bambi when I was a kid and my dad took me and I had to be taken out when Bambi's mom got shot. So for a long time I had not seen the rest of that movie. You thought it ended there. I was terrified. I think I had a sense that it continued.

But you're really not going to like hereditary. I know, I've heard. Believe me, I've heard. Dead Mom City. But so yeah, I was definitely so scared and upset about that. And again, I don't want to spoil too much for people, but there's a reason that Bambi doesn't have a mom for most of the movie. And so that, and then for some reason I also am picturing like seeing the first Batman

in theaters, which I loved. So yeah, but I think I was a little creeped out by some of it. I mean, you know, the Joker, like, anytime you fall into a vat of something that gives you extravagant makeup. Vats are bad news. Just all vat, why do we even have them? Who needs that much liquid? Also, Jack Nicholson hitting on you, it's rough.

Yeah. Yeah. Makeup or nah. Yeah, it's weird. But there is something about loving that movie that you're also terrified by. I've mentioned this on the pod a couple times, but one of my favorite movies, like top three,

is probably Roger Rabbit, but I was terrified of all that Judge Doom stuff when I was a kid. Totally. I mean. No, I'm- I kill your brother! No. I touch his, I touch his! No. So scary. And then the eyes scary it's well documented that I can start crying Just describing the scene with that shoe the shoe. Oh my god when that shoe

looks up at Doom as it's being melted and looks at it like Why? it's being melted and looks at it like, why? It's devastating. I definitely feel like when I donate my shoes, I say goodbye to them. Yeah, that's the right thing to do. You got me through some interesting moments in my life.

Goodbye, so yeah, that shoe scene, I think that's what made me do that. But it's a great movie. The shoe scene is very upsetting. He's very scary. Well yeah, let's talk about a movie that, I don't know if it traumatized any of us. I think we've all, did we all see this in its theatrical run in 1998 or whatever?

Yup. Me too. I think so. I think I was jazzed to see this. Oh, I was too. Yeah. This was one where we've talked about this in the Godzilla 98 episode. There used to be soundtrack, like, what are they called?

Vending machines used to be vending machines for soundtracks and movie theaters. And I got faculty and Godzilla. And from those. I'm gonna have to go back and listen to you talk about the Godzilla soundtrack, because I could not pull a single song from that. Oh man, it's lit. It's amazing.

It's amazing. Not as amazing as this soundtrack though. I think Faculty's soundtrack is way better, in my opinion. Well, the Godzilla soundtrack just had brain stew with Godzilla screaming in the background. That's what I'm imagining. No, it literally was that. This was the Godzilla remix.

This should have like offspring Squid Monster remix. And then, you gotta keep them separated. Braa! Braa! Well hey, let's start talking about it. The Faculty from 1998. We open on a football game, and I think maybe the most famous needle drop from this, this is definitely the song I associate with this movie,

The Offsprings, the kids aren't all right. See, the famous song is the kids are all right, but they switched it to talk about the dark underbelly of suburbia that lies beyond the white picket fence. Ooh, suburban pirate, Jordan James. Why did I pirate during that? Why did I pirate?

I've always gone forward for it, I'm glad you did. Arr mateys, my sheepish parents making me go to church when I don't want to, I just want to hang out at the Hot Topic and smoke with the cloves. Oh my God, I have cloves right now. Do you? Should I smoke one during the episode? Mail me one.

Yeah, mail me one also. I want to taste that little sugary clovey. You can get them in Nashville. Do y'all have memories about this song? Like, this song, I mean, growing up in Southern California, this fucking song was everywhere. I? I mean growing up in Southern, California. This fucking song was Everywhere. I guess I don't know what's I thought it was the Brick in the wall song that was playing at the beginning, but I I don't know

That's a little later and yes, they have a lot of like famous covers of classic rock songs I think I think the the the offspring opens the movie now this song, you know, 90s pop punk banger, I think most would agree. I have not forgiven the offspring for a recent song. Are y'all familiar with Cruisin' California, parentheses bump it in my trunk? No. This is an offspring song from like five years ago

or something. I need people to hear this so I know I'm, I chew she calls you out in hool I know you heard that bass Whooping in my trunk I'm whooping in my trunk I'm whooping in my trunk I'm whooping in my trunk I love that! What?!

I love that! It's telling a story! That's true! And it's got Godzilla in it, just like it did originally You added the Godzilla Don't give the song more points by adding Godzilla It's telling a story. That's true. And it's got Godzilla in it, just like it did originally. You added the Godzilla. Don't give the song more points by adding Godzilla. So anyway, I don't know.

Bump It In My Trunk gives me goosebumps and not in a nice way. I don't know. Maybe we'll be playing it on this show for 10 years. You might be. I was not, I was in a, I feel like I was in a snobby, like maybe getting into some like, Brit poppy kind of stuff in this era.

Like I definitely was not into American pop punk. Right. Like everyone sort of- You talking like Oasis? Or like what? Yeah, like pre-Oasis, pop punk. Right. You're talking like Oasis? Yeah, like pre-Oasis, I think. The hardship. And like, you know, yeah. I would say pre-Oasis, but Oasis came in there. So this would have been a song that I would not

have been able to tell apart from any number of other songs. And that's what I thought when it started to come on. I was like, oh, it has that nanny nanny boo boo. This is like almost, almost. Green Bay or some 41 or Blink or. Yeah. Bumpin' in my trunk. Yeah.

Don't bump in my trunk. Yeah. So as the song's playing, we got a football game going. And the coach, he's a mean guy. He's played by Robert Patrick, the T-1000 from Terminator 2. Everyone is in this movie. Everyone is in this movie. Everyone is in this movie.

Stacked cast. Absolutely stacked. It's amazing. Basically every character. What a fantasy school to go to. Yeah, I know, right? I know who I wish were my science teacher now. Didn't know I wished it before,

but then you watch this movie and you're like, yes I do wish that Jon Stewart had been my science teacher. Oh no, is it too early for a hunk watch? Yeah, we can do a hunk watch. Because I agree. Yeah, so let's do it. We talk about, Janet, on this show, we have a segment called Hunk Watch where we name a hunk watch. Yeah, so let's do it. We talk about, Janet, on this show, we have a segment called Hunk Watch

where we name a hunk of the movie. Emily, sounds like you got somebody in mind. It's Hunk Watch. Oh, it's Jon Stewart all the way. Yeah, Jon Stewart looks great in this. That goatee, weird. Yeah. He still looks good with a 90s goatee. My dad tried that one. We tolerated it with a, you know, a 90s goatee.

My dad tried that one. We tolerated it for a year or so, but like, yeah, he's cute. He's kind of gross and creepy in the teacher's lounge at one point, but that, I remember the line that he says in the teacher's, he's like hitting on one of the, I guess the nurse or whatever, and then she won't respond. And he goes, I guess stab I guess the nurse or whatever,

and then she won't respond and he goes, I guess stab me in the eye or whatever. I'm like, oh, that's where you fit that line in, huh? That's weird. And that happens later, it happens later. The movie's good. Yeah, I will go ahead. I will go ahead and shout out the divine Miss Bibi Neuwirth.

Oh, hell yeah Yeah, she is smoking in this by the way. How about just bangs watch? Oh sure yeah I have things right now. I felt seen I'm super seen by Everyone in this movie like somehow everyone had bangs. You're so right I think that I identify the most with Cleo Duvall's greasy bangs because I'm trying to grow these out and it's like every day licking my fingers, flattening them down. Understood. Been there.

Been there. Femke also sporting some short, I guess, yeah, short 90s bangs. Maybe a little, I would say maybe hair a little too long for how short the bangs are or vice versa. But she is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. She's my hunk for the movie for sure. I love her. I will always love her.

And I love her. Do you have a Fomka role that you consider to be the iconic one? Well, I definitely remember. My mom took me to see the James Bond, the 007 that she was in. Ooh. Yes.

And so being introduced to her as a bit of a sadomasochist if memory serves. She kills a man with her thighs, I believe. Child mind, did not understand why that was so exciting, but I definitely was very much on board for that. And I'll never, I can't, you know, I can't tease apart just how great she was in that. Because a lot of those roles are thankless. You know, they certainly have gotten better, but like they were very thankless.

And she was doing so much with what they gave her. I was like, what a star. Yeah. So yes, hunks hunks for fucking days in this thing. Yeah. So we have Robert Patrick, he's the coach. Now this is important, he sees a sprinkler and he doesn't like that it's going off

because at this point in the movie, he doesn't like water. Later, he might change his tune vis-a-vis water, but at this point in the movie, he doesn't like it. So he's trying to stop the sprinkler and a mysterious shadow looms over him. Who is it? We'll find out later. We go to the teacher's lounge. It's B.B. Neuwirth. She's the principal. In this movie, it's an alien possession movie. When the alien gets ya, in some cases, you get sexier. So she's, she has not. Most cases. Most cases.

It's not all cases. Now there's one that's not there one. There's just a couple of the teachers who just don't sex up. It wasn't, their bodies rejected the. Yeah. Oh yeah, okay, you're right, you're right. That will come later. But B.B. Neuwirth, she's complaining. There's no the... Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay, you're right. You're right.

That will come later. But Bibi Newell, she's complaining. There's no money for anything. They're gonna have to reuse the set from R-Town for the drama department. Joke's on them. The play R-Town doesn't typically have a set. No it doesn't. Maybe that's the joke.

The drama... I think that is the joke. I think the joke. And guess what we did in our high school the year this fucking came out. You added a set? Well no, we did Our Town and it didn't, so we all when we went to see this movie gave each other a knowing high five.

Well wait, should we talk about? And we pledged to keep our virginity forever. But we haven't talked about like, have we talked about that as directed by Robert Rodriguez and that like Kevin Williamson of Scream, like they brought him in to do some punch ups and as happens I guess he got most of the credit but the two guys who wrote the original

are also in the credits which is good. Yeah, yeah I mean, like behind the camera, fucking awesome Robert Rodriguez, who did from Dust Till Dawn and El Mariachi and Desperado. Like, oh man, I want to see this guy make a horror movie again. He makes spy kids movies now, which are great. Good for the fans of, but oh man, he's so good at this. That makes a lot of sense now that I think about it.

This movie is like one of the best like teen accessible Like PG-13, I think horror movies. Yeah, that's ever been made like it's scary, but it's not like, you know scream violence and gore scary like It's a perfect little side. Yeah, it's a nice It's a nice if you're if you're a little bit of a timid kid like I was seeing this in theaters, this was a nice, this is a nice amount of terror. Yeah. So yeah, but yeah.

And it doesn't feel like it's like adults trying to write teenagers or adults trying hard to hit something, like it feels like it hits it. I mean, I certainly felt that way then, you know, when I was a target audience. Yeah, totally. Like, I definitely felt like, yeah, you get it. Adults feel like they're aliens. Adults, I don't know what adults are doing.

Yeah, yeah. I feel like sometimes the marker is, do you wanna be these people, like when you're a teen? Like, I don't know, sometimes when I think old people write teens, it's like, they seem intolerable and you don't wanna be them. Like I still kinda feel like Mean Girls is that. I'm like there's a middle-aged woman who wrote this.

And none of these people are likable. Yeah, so faculty, I was like I wanna be everyone in this movie, like so bad. Yeah, I think like Scream, a great screenplay and yeah, you can see why they had this guy rewrite fucking everything, you know, for five years after Scream. I mean, he wrote, I know what you did last summer. Like, it's, you know, this guy did all of these.

Yeah. So, Bibi Neuwirth, she's complaining about the school not having enough money. She's leaving for the day, but the coach comes in and he's acting real creepy. And then he does the creepiest thing one can do, which is try and kill her. He asks her if she has a pencil, and then he stabs her in the hand with a pencil. So there's a lot of like school implement

being used as weapon in this movie. Stabs her with a pencil, very horrific scene. And then he says, I've always wanted to do that. What? You've always wanted to stab Frazier's ex-wife with a pencil? That's a very specific thing to want. Anyway, it's just a catchphrase for the sake of one. Anyway, and she is running around. This scene is so fucking, this scene is so well done. It's like very suspenseful. All the suspense work. You never really know where, you know, Robert Patrick is, he's chasing her around the school, she finally makes it out and the like, um,

dowdy drama teacher is there, and oh she's gonna help her, no she is bad too, and says, stabs her with scissors, and says says I've always wanted to do that. Now the you know doesn't pay to think too much about the logic of these things but I wonder so they're aliens and they put the alien in your ear to right it's a parasite I guess is what you say but it doesn't get it doesn't erase who you are. Yeah, you kind of co-exist with it. Yeah, I think you become this like, I don't know, maybe all of your impulses come to the surface, which they didn't explore that much

because then they kind of become mindless zombies in a way. Yeah, there's not like super hard and fast rules about these things. And like, my thing, when I watch this movie, I've seen this movie a ton. I watched this movie, I've watched this movie two times this month, so like, you know, I'm in it. This part of someone is like, why are they stabbing her and stuff?

They just need to put the parasite in. Anyway, it just makes the scene scarier. But we're not supposed to know about that. You're right, you're right. So we need something else scary. And this starts quick. Like, this chase scene and the stabbing of the pencil, I did not pause to see what the timecode was,

but I was like, oh, this has just happened. Like, this is, and in fact, isn't it a cold open? It is. Yeah, it takes you to the titles after this. Yeah, at least the to the titles after this. Yeah, at least the, yeah. So yeah, so something's going on. And now we meet the kids.

Josh Hartnett rolls up in his muscle car. Oh, talk about bangs. Yeah. De, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, Is that the muscle car song, Janet? I don't know. I just felt like when we meet the kids, maybe there was a musack version of Another Brick in the Wall part two? I don't know. I just felt like when we meet the kids Maybe there was like a music version of another brick-in-the-wall part two

It might have been that was beautiful too Josh net I just heart no I do believe is the oldest teen in this movie He's 20 And there is a little bit of there is a little bit of an explanation They do explain that he was left back, which I think is a great little detail because of the student teacher romance stuff that's later. It makes it a little bit less icky. So I'm glad they did that.

And it also explains why Josh Hartnett looks like your college chemistry TA. So we're meeting the kids. Josh Hartnett, he's got a muscle car, he's selling drugs, it's a powdery drug that you snort out of a Bic pen, it's called scat. I love fake drug names in movies. Oh, I didn't catch the fake drug name. It's called scat, yeah.

Gross. Which is, you know, also animal shit, but it's kind of a fun thing to call a drug. It's also a fun jazz style of singing. There you go, a lot of fun stuff to be called scat. We got Elijah Wood, he's a nerd, he's a little nerdy guy. Oh, those baby blues though, my God. Piercing blue eyes on this guy.

Jordana Brewster is there, I mean, I'm just gonna be naming great people. She's the popular girl. And you know she's popular because her sweater is knotted around her shoulders. And that's how the popular people wear their sweaters. Transcending through time. Where you're, that's the universal sign. Yes, and we got her boyfriend.

I have not retained this actor's name. He didn't become super famous, but he's just a fucking working guy that's in everything. He's a football player. And then we meet kind of our last kid. Yeah, again, another like not super famous person, but like working person you see in everything. Mary Elizabeth Hutchinson is the character's name. She says her oh Mary Mary Elizabeth Beth Hutchinson, she says her whole name every single time. She's the new kid from the south. She is from the south and she has moved here to this state that they are in. She's just sexy foghorn like. Yeah, I do declare. I say, I say, don't put that alien in my ear, son. And her and a dog clock in.

Anyway. So yeah, and then we go back to the teacher's lounge. Selma Hayek is there for two scenes, and she is treating Harry Knowles, who's the guy from Ain't It Cool News, which was like the cool movie blog at the time, like one of the first things on the internet. So a little cameo from this guy. The legend goes that Harry Knowles was on set with Elijah Wood and said,

Peter Jackson is making a Lord of the Rings movie you should audition, anyway. No way. Yeah, it's in the IMDB trivia. I don't know if any of that's true, but... Yeah. So no faculty, no Elijah Frodo Baggins. Yeah, no Elijah. Yeah, we would have yeah, we would probably would have had you know Jean-Claude Van Damme is

Is that also in the trivia? They are the same height Same audition. Same audition. They are the same height. Yeah. That's true, that's true, that's true. So back in the teacher's lounge, we noticed the drama teacher, once Doughty,

is now all glammed up, as we mentioned. When you get the parasite, you get a little sexy. I wanna shout out Piper Laurie. Would you please? From Twin Peaks, and I believe from the movie Carrie. I think she plays the mom of Carrie. Oh yeah. That's right. In Carrie, so she's right. Great choice.

Another great pull. Feels like there are reasons, like whether or not these reasons were real, they're the kind of actors you can imagine also choosing to cast for like confusing faculty member types. Like, B.B. Neuwirth is both great as a very cool person and also great as this very sinister person. Piper Laurie can be super sinister. Robert Patrick, hello. You said it yourself. Like, he seems like he is T2 in every movie he does.

You have a sense that there could be just a robot body. Was Robert Rodriguez, was he involved with Dusk Till Dawn? He directed it. So Salma Hayek, I guess he went, wow, you've been in a horror movie, get in here. Sure. Well, and she's, I think she's a bit of a muse of his, right? Cause she was in Desperado also.

Desperado, yeah, they've done a lot of movies together. Yeah, but anyway, yeah, like they're all, you could sort of go, oh, I could see why it would make sense to you To cast almost all of these people then there's a the older woman who kind of reminds me of like a Ruth Gordon Who yeah was in Rosemary's baby? So that's like where my mind attaches to that like well Ruth Gordon was not alive anymore But they found someone who kind of looked like yeah, who was in Rosemary's baby a super creepy movie Yeah, and again, I think these I think you're right about that, Jan.

I think there is like, these movies, I love this era of horror movies because they all feel so well made and I think that's because they are consciously trying to reference classics, right? Like Scream is psycho, you know? And I think this movie, they are trying to get paranoia movies and possession movies.

And I think that it does, I don't know, it just so much, I think it's more well made than it has to be. And I think a lot of these movies were. Even not just horror, but clueless. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, sure. Clueless is similar era and it's the same sort of like,

wow, you really took something that you were inspired by and turned it into what could have been this most stupid movie in the world and instead is this beautiful little classic. Yeah, you're right, you're absolutely right. Set in high school. So yeah, and we got a couple more kids, maybe the last of our kids we haven't been introduced to,

Stokely, she's a goth, but one of those goths who has a giant, visible Tommy Hilfinger logo on her shirt. He has a black shirt. Shefiger logo on her shirt. He has a black shirt. She's wearing it ironically. Right, exactly, yes. She's wearing it ironically. God, I'm just one of these Tommy Hilfiger sheep, right?

Well, should we mention that Tommy Hilfiger pretty much did all of the costumes for this movie? Oh, I didn't know that. It was a whole, there was huge ad campaigns in like Seventeen magazine. I remember I saw it in Seventeen and was obsessed with it it made me want to see the movie even more like her so yeah yeah there's like yeah there's online it's kind of fun to yeah check out some

of the faculty Tommy Hilfinger commercials with all the cast goofing around there's magazine ads they're a ton of fun so yeah so her and Jordana Brewster like hate each other. Jordana Brewster comes up and says like, that's a lovely shade of black you're wearing today. And Stokely says, fuck you, gutter slut. It's so five to 10. Stokely rules.

Stokely totally rules. All of Stokely's insults are great. You know, maybe time to mention at this part, there's some 90s shit that hasn't aged really well. There's a lot of gay jokes being made about Stokely and they kinda suck and I think just like, if you watch this movie, just kind of be prepared, there's gonna be that little 90s.

Well, Mean Girls has the same thing. There's like- Sure, totally. Yeah, the character that's the goth girl, that is the number one insult they gave her. It went on for a long time. So yeah, if you see Mean Girls and that felt icky to you, this is gonna feel icky too, but you know. That being said, huge shout out to Clea Duvall,

someone I know and like very much and respect. And she also made, But I'm a Cheerleader right around the same time, which was a great, and really has been very queer positive. She herself is gay, and she has a partner, and has, I think, advanced us further than this movie would pull us backwards,

to the point where I had forgotten that like, when it started I was like, oh yeah, a proud lesbian in this movie. I'm so proud of this movie for being so fierce and cool about it back then. And then as it like unravels and you're like, oh no, she's straight? It's like so disappointing.

Yeah. Yeah, she is. But rest assured she's not straight, you know what I mean? She's a fricking icon. Oh great, that's great so disappointing. Yeah. So yeah, she is a camera. But rest assured she's not straight. You know what I mean? She's a fricking icon. Oh great. That's great to hear. And she is awesome in this movie.

She is so fucking good. And yeah, and definitely like, you know, kind of transcends the icky jokes. So you know, just if you're watching, just know that that's coming up. Also, the smudgy black eyeliner in this for her is something, I've taken screenshots multiple times. I'm going to try to do that soon. You'll succeed. Yes, I know you will.

If I was in high school, I would have followed this girl to so many Romstein concerts. I would have just like, oh, I'm going too. I'm also going to see Romstein. Do we see any other Goths? Like, is she that novel that like, that's what Jordana Brewster has? It's like, you wear black a lot. You wear black.

Well, there was the girls that our little Atlanta girl go and introduce herself to, where she's like, hey, do you know where the office is? And then this girl just kind of has a cigarette and like, pour points it that way. I think maybe they're coded more as stoners maybe? Oh yeah. If we're looking at high school. I mean it's nebulous for sure. You're right. Side note, there's a lot of kids smoking on campus which feels strange because I was in school at the time that this movie is displaying what school looks like,

and you could not smoke on a football field and have your coach not suspend you. Of course. Well, this was set in Iowa, wasn't it? Or Ohio or something. Well, maybe things are different there. I don't know what the setting is, yeah. They shot it in Texas.

And there's a bunch of dazed and confused actors in this too, so I think they shot it in Austin or something. I guess you could smoke on campus everywhere. No, no way. No way They must have been doing that ironically part of the fantasy So Elijah would he's hanging around on the football field drinking apple juice just a fucking nerd who loves his apple juice drinking apple juice just a fucking nerd who loves his apple juice and he finds in a box yep yep he's drinking just a little Mott's box of apple juice not a pint glass no no I'm a man I drink my Mott's out of a pint glass drink apple juice out of just FYI of course yeah so he finds a weird thing on the football field. He takes it to hunky teacher John Stewart.

It's a little cocoon thing. They put it into water and it turns into a bad 90s CGI alien. It swims around. Hey, I thought it looked pretty good. I did too. I love how it looks. I love the, I think in this case, the like jank of the CGI makes it look kind of creepy in a fun way.

Yeah. And when people's like faces start getting tentacles and like worms underneath like I Think the fact that the CGI isn't the best makes it look a little weirder and creepier. Yeah. Maybe so. I mean, I don't know if yeah, I wouldn't have perceived that that's why but I do think that it's fun and creepy I also don't think they were too ambitious to the point where they were biting off more than they could chew And I think some of the practical effects towards the end. Oh, totally pretty cool. Oh, yeah

So it's a little alien. It's self replicating And then we go back to football guy. He's in the shower. And then, as we've discussed, the scariest thing in the entire world comes in, an old woman who is nude. All right, can we talk about this for a second? Matt, I put it in the notes that I really think it's time for a new sting about this. Old naked lady. Thank you. There you go. Janet, I for a new sting about this. Old Naked Lady. Thank you.

There you go. Janet, I wonder if you thought about this too. There's so many horror movies that have an old naked lady in it as like one of the scariest things. It's like a woman over 50 without clothes is like, ah, like you know, like barbarian. Do you think The Shining kicked that off

or was that something that was happening before then? Oh, you might be right. Is that such an iconic one. That might be the proto of old naked women. Nothing creeped me out more than that. Well, maybe Psycho is the proto of that. You have an old lady's body that they're preserving. That's true, you're right.

He probably had to get her naked to do that. To take her dress, yeah, sure. That's an old lady killing a hot naked lady. Ah, that's right. But that is close. Yeah, once you hot naked lady. Oh, that's true. But that is close. Yeah, once you merge the two. Yeah, that's true. That's an old naked lady.

But yeah, and I was, I don't know if you've seen the substance yet, but that is basically the horror of the entire movie. I feel like they're definitely playing into it, but. I haven't seen it, I've heard that's great. I see it quite a bit. It's like satire-y kind of about that. Oh boy, it is terrifying. But yeah there's another old scary

naked lady. We've seen a couple in these movies. I can't wait to count them all. Yes so we have old scary naked lady. Part of her hair comes off. That's pretty gross. Later Elijah Wood and Jordana Brewster are looking for clues together. They're a mismatched pair. He's a nerd, she's the popular girl. They have a fun flirty little banter. You can tell there. Well yeah, they work for the paper. They work for the paper, yes.

They're looking for a story, a big story for the school newspaper. You can say scoop, it's fine. Oh, I would never say scoop. That's for journalists. I respect journalism, so I would never say scoop. That's for journalists. I respect journalism, so I would not say scoop. Okay. I apologize.

No, that's okay. Journalists are heroes. So, they hear the teachers coming. They hide in the closet and then get a bunch of info dump about the aliens. They need water to survive. And the old naked lady had an alien in her, but the body was too old and couldn't survive. Not enough moisture.

So they need, not enough moisture, they need young moist people. They need young moist teens. Oh no. And then Salma Hayek comes in, they stick the alien in her ear, and the two teens run away, they get their parents, the parents come back.

Elijah Wood's dad, played by Christopher McDonald, yet another fucking, oh my god, I love this guy. He's maybe best known as the asshole in every Adam Sandler movie. Shooter McGavin. Yeah, not nearly enough of this guy in the movie. The movie should be about him and Elijah Wood dealing with aliens.

Who plays his mom? Is that, that's not Bonnie Hunt. I don't think it's anyone of note. For a second I thought maybe it was Bonnie Hunt, but. This would be the time. I mean, they would totally cast her as the mom in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I think you're right. So they go to the school and they the kids get gaslit like crazy. No, that wasn't us

Killing Selma Hayek. We were doing CPR on a CPR dummy and everyone believes the adults They don't believe the kids so they take Elijah Wood goes back to his house He's grounded dad takes away his phone, takes away his TV, mom mentions to lift up his mattress and take away his porn. Did y'all notice this? The porn magazine was just called boob. No, I didn't see what it said. Boob singular.

One boob for fans of single boobs. All right, let's not kink shame here. Some people just need to see one. That's true. I don't need to see both, I'm not, what am I? If I see two, I'm not kink shame here. Some people just need to see one. That's true. I don't need to see both. If I see two, I'm like, ah! Yeah. Get that other one out here.

Everybody's got a favorite. I got a favorite of mine. Sure? Yeah, the other one can get the fuck out. Uh, that's good. He also had a Mac. He had like a really nice computer and I was like rich. Like, yeah.

Oh yeah, sure, sure. I, listen, I did some extensive Googling. Boob, a fake magazine. There was no Boob magazine. You were so hopeful. You looked it up. I Googled for hours. I Googled for hours.

I found some interesting materials, but nothing about the magazine. I wonder who did the props for this because they probably had to make that magazine if they put real photos in there. I know. Listen, we never get a response when we ask for people to write in.

But please, if you know who did the props for the faculty, we'd love to hear the story behind Boob magazine, free with ads at maximumfun.org. That's our email address. Yes, we stan a legendary periodical. Okay, so back at school, Stokely and the football guy, they have a little thing. We're creating some mismatched pairs here.

The two people you never think could be together. They have a little thing for each other. Josh Hartnett and Mary Beth have a little thing. They go into a closet together and are kind of sexy together. Okay, again, we don't need to talk about plot holes too much, but spoiler alert, she's the Queen alien. Why doesn't she turn him here? She has so many chances to turn them.

I think it's just that they figured out the twist later and then didn't go back because, yeah, it seems very random that she turns out to be the queen just because there's so many times that she could've. Oh, you think they figure out the twist later, interesting. Maybe, it reads that way to me. It seems like maybe they figured it out later. Well, here's how I thought about it.

I thought maybe she was like, these are the smartest kids, I'm gonna study the human race by hanging out with the most interesting smart kids who are on to me. So I can see where all the little weak spots are in humanity, like kind of thing. I like that explanation. And that she could be toying with them. Also, Josh Hartnett is hot.

Maybe she was just horny. Could be. And I mentioned this earlier, but Josh Hartnett's bangs are hilarious Like he has these yeah bangs, but yeah like thing in the back. It was like a In the back. It was so weird. I think they were maybe do I feel like they were also trying to make him look younger Like even though they already had to explain that he looked older because he was older Yeah, it seems like the kind of haircut that they give a guy where they're like,

this will help, also make you look like you're in high school. They should have given him a giant lollipop too. Little hat with propeller. Little shoe with buckles. Yeah. Little sailor suit. Well they also did the long sleeve T-shirt

underneath the regular T-shirt. Oh yeah. That's some grunge holdover, I guess. But that's also like, that's high school. You're not wearing that at 20 something, I don't think. Well, yeah, that's true. Depends on if you live in Seattle. Yeah.

So Stokely and Elijah Wood, they're in the library trying to figure out what's going on. They have a very scream esque discussion about how Sci-fi could be predicting actual alien attacks You can really tell when they hired the scream guy to rewrite this they're like and you got to do scream stuff in this Do a scream but for sci-fi and he's like, alright, I'll do a little scene where they talk about how Sci-fi movies blah blah blah blah. Anyway, this, this felt a little bit like By the Numbers to me, but you know, a fun little 90s signifier there.

Then they go back into Jon Stewart's class, and he's acting weird, he's probably an alien, he is! He goes after them, and this is the moment in the movie that I remember the most, is they take the paper slicer. Yeah! Josh. Best use, you talked about it earlier, best use of just regular school things.

Hell yes! And they chop off his hands and the fingers like go everywhere by themselves. It's so much fucking fun. Every time I see one of those things I'm like, the faculty, the faculty! Look out John Stewart! Yeah, if you think about it. It's fucking fun every time I see one of those things. I'm like, the faculty, the faculty! Look out, John Stewart!

Yeah, if you think about it. Wait, why are you on his side? Because I want Ailey to take over. Look out! You know, I was thinking, if you think about it, this could be Clue, but the faculty version. So we got scissors, pencil, paper cutter. How many other high school objects could you have?

Pen. Pen. Pen with drugs in it. The drug pen. So it's like. Dodge ball. When was there a dodge ball? I'm just thinking of things at school, you know,

if you were to make a sport game. Oh yeah, Tommy Hilfiger sweater around the shoulders. Oh yeah, strangled. That's the news. Strangled by a sweater. Juice box. Juice box. Gently, carefully prodded into your skin.

Yeah, exactly. Tiny little plastic white straw. Totally. Bag of peanuts if the kid has a peanut allergy. Oh. Hell yeah. That's too low. See you're right.

Too fucked up. So they stab him in the eye with one of Josh Hartnett's scat pens and that's what does it the drug in Scat or whatever the ingredients of scat are dry out the aliens and make them have crazy foam come out of them and We figured it out. We got to go back to Josh Hartnett's house and get all the scat we can to kill the aliens So they're like in Josh Hartnett's house. He has a whole like chemistry lab where he's like making drugs and get all the scat we can to kill the aliens. So they're like in George Hart and his house. He has a whole chemistry lab where he's making drugs.

I love this. And then it's kind of like the scene in The Thing where they start accusing each other of being an alien and the way they find out who's an alien is you have to do the drug and prove you're not an alien because the drug would kill you. This is so much fucking fun. It's all these like the nerdy kids who had never gotten fucked up before get fucked up. It's great. And yeah, just a fun- By the way, this is maybe my worst nightmare. The idea of- That's a real uncomfortable sort of trigger thing for me because I have been

drugged without my consent. Oh dear, okay. Not this, I don't wanna scare, I mean, it wasn't like, don't take that too far, but like a friend of mine in high school, like assumed I would wanna do something I didn't wanna do. Oh boy, okay. So anytime there's like any thriller, any movie

where like a cop is undercover and they're like, why don't you do some more of this coke or whatever. And you see the cop's mind going like, this is really gonna fuck me up. Like that is so uncomfortable for me. So this scene where you have to prove you're not an alien by like getting high is definitely maybe the scariest part of the entire film.

Can I tell you the first time I got high was by accident. I was in middle school and I was super sick. I had like, I don't know, the flu. And you know, you didn't call out in the nineties. This time I got high was by accident. I was in middle school and I was super sick. I had like, I don't know, the flu. And you know, you didn't call out in the 90s. You just went to school. So I took Dayquil and the thing is our family had the, you know, the frozen juice from concentrate

that you would just put in a thing and then just put water in it. It's great juice. We always did that. And we had like the same container for the juice all the time. I guess my parents had made some kind of a punch situation like nights before.

And I thought it was the passion fruit juice cause it was kind of like this muddy yellowy brown color. And I put it in a glass, took my Dayquil and then chugged that. And the thing is, you don't really, after Dayquil you're like blech, like you don't taste anything. And then my dad went, did you just drink from that thing?

And I was like, yeah. And he goes, uh, you'll be fine. And then I went. I mixed it with a drug, an over-the-counter drug. It was like probably some kind of a gin. I don't know what it was. It's Dayquil, it's not like it was Nyquil. No, that should be in trouble.

But it was Dayquil mixed with whatever liquor was in that thing. Oh my God. You're already not supposed to do that. I just went to seventh grade. That was crazy. That's nuts. Were you, did you ever feel scared about it?

Were you like, I feel weird? Or were you like, I'm cool? He didn't tell me what it was, is the thing. So in retrospect, I know what it was, but at the time I was like, I feel crazy. I guess this juice has a weird thing that interacts with Dayquil. I didn't, it didn't put together in my brain

that it was alcohol. Yeah. I was a very naive like girl until college and then it was like, went nuts. Yeah. But now you're drinking a bar is vodka and Dayquil, right? Yes. You order that.

I like that scissor. Sure. I liked a robo trip at the IHOP So So, okay. We were doing we're doing drugs. We're proving we're not aliens Jordana Brewster She's got the aliens in her a bunch of weird worms are in her face. Ah, they run away from her She she gets away and gets into like the driver's ed car great little detail Someone like a school alien came to pick her up in the driver's ed car. Great little detail. Someone, a school alien came to pick her up

in the driver's ed car, love that. And so the kids who are left, they decide. They've gotta go to the school and kill the queen. They're just like, if we kill the queen, we'll figure it out and something, and then everybody will be fine. And something and then, like. fine. And something and then. Yes.

Because that's what science fiction has told us. Yes. As we've seen prior. Spoiler alert, that's what happens. They were right. So we're gonna talk about the thrilling conclusion of the faculty right after this. We're back. It's Free With Ads.

We're talking about the thrilling conclusion of the faculty with Janet Varney of The JV Club and the new Max Fun podcast, E Pluribus Motto, coming soon to a podcast thing near you. Okay, the kids in the faculty, they're gonna go kill the queen. They get to the school. It's getting them one by one. Oh boy, they're all turning. And the football team is chasing them all over the place. Boy, howdy.

They have to go out to Josh Hartnett's car. And then Fomka Jensen attacks him, tries to seduce, kill him. She gets stuck in the car and like her legs are hanging out and then he like stops short, it sends her flying and it like chops off her head and her head grows tentacles and starts crawling around and her body is looking for it.

It fucking rules. We love all of this. Yeah, I think that there is a little bit of a weird We love all of this. Yeah, I think that there is a little bit of a weird suspension of disbelief with people go back to normal after you get the Queen, because poor Bibi Newworth, I don't think there's any coming back from whatever happens to her in the next scene.

And getting decapitated, really? She just goes back to normal after that? That's wild. I know. If her tentacles, did she get back to her body while she was still able to, like, have the alien power of regenerating? Yeah, I guess you're right. That's true.

The thing is, is that if they had just learned to harness this alien, it could have saved lives, it could have regrown limbs. Yeah, because here's the thing. It would be like a miracle drug. The downside of being an alien that it, or like a person that has the parasitic side of you is that you get hot and get hydrated.

And you don't give a shit. Those are the two things. That sounds great. That sounds great. Yeah, besides all of the killing, it seems like the aliens just kind of want to like share the body, which I'm, if it makes me hotter and more happy, I'm OK with that.

Yeah, I don't know. Who's the real monster in this movie? Whoa. What? That was us. The humanity. That was us. Who, I ask.

I can think about things. Side note, I, in my memory, because I have not seen it recently, although I have seen it definitely more than once several times, but I forgot, in my mind the whole thing is at the school the whole time. Like I forgot that there are scenes that are not at the school. Yeah, they kind of go around. In my mind I was like, oh yeah, it's one of those bottle movies where everything is suspenseful

and just takes place inside the school. And then I was like, wait, why are they at? Oh, I guess they go home and stuff Yeah, they go home for a little bit. They gotta go to Elijah Woods house. Yeah part-time jobs So at the at the school, yeah, they get BB New Earth they trap her in a volleyball net and Assumed that just because she's the principal, she also must be the queen, like it's a one to one ratio. Is that what happens? Yeah, that's a good point.

Yeah, the logic of that is, that is a very much, that is like a kid logic. It's like, well, of course the leader of the school is the leader of the aliens. Josh Hartnett just shoots her in the head and then she like pops up, she was an alien the whole time and they dump the rest of the like scat on her. And then she just melts off.

Her whole face melts off. To get rid of it. That's true, yeah, that's a fun little thing to notice if you like, you know, kind of know what the twist is. Mary, Beth Elizabeth Jensen. Dugan, Hutchinson Atlanta. Yes, uh-huh, Hutchinson Atlanta. She like dumps the whole thing on her

Yes, and I think as as you will as we will find out she's the Queen so probably was doing that on purpose sacrificed Her her lackey or whatever anyway So yeah, we're kind of chasing them. They're getting chased through the locker room Mary Mary Beth Elizabeth Atlanta She through the locker room, Mary Beth Elizabeth Atlanta. She comes out naked, kind of reveals herself to be the queen, and then transforms into this gross alien squid monster. That looks fucking awesome.

It's really cool. It's a mix of CGI and practical, so there's a CGI character from far away, but when you get close up, it's a cool. It's a mix of CGI and practical, so there's a CGI character from far away, but when you get close up, it's a gross puppet. We love that. It's got a little bit of a Little Shop of Horrors thing going on with the face. Yeah, good point.

I hadn't thought about that, but you're absolutely right. It's a cool little creature, I like it. It's great. So there's something where it swims in the water, it jumps in the school pool, and because they're from a water planet, it's very quick and sinister in the water Chlorine not a problem. I got a problem

Yeah, you know, I feel like that's pretty much what was in the scat. That's good point. Yeah again Don't think too much about the faculty It's a saltwater pool they have a lot of those great. And there's this great scene where she is in her human body and chasing them through the locker room, but the shadows around the room are her tentacles. It just gets impressionistic for this scene, and it's great. These are like gorgeous shots, really creepy.

Yeah, final transformation, Elijah Wood's kind of the last man standing. She aliens out, chases him through the bleachers, alien gets stuck in the bleachers. This was so cool, this was so cool. This is an awesome scene. And then he stabs her with the remaining scat, and then she kind of glitches out, foams out, and dies.

But she spits those parasites into Elijah Wood's face. Oh yeah. It's like, it goes into his face, and I know that must have been a combination of practical effects and special effects, but it looks painful. It was so creepy and good, and you were like, oh no, he's done for, he's gonna die.

And then they all fall out of his face when she dies. So cool, so cool. But yeah, Greg loved it. Totally, yeah, totally awesome. And yeah, definitely just another example of like, and everyone's just fine after this? Like, he got fucked up so bad. It also makes me wonder if the Marybeth dig in Atlanta was like a girl that the alien

took her body and then infected her. I wonder what, yeah how that. Presumably there was some point at which it picked her and then in which case, what's going on in Atlanta? Oh no. Sure. And then in which case what's going on in Atlanta? Oh, no Yeah, it'd be funny if just like oh, yeah, and Atlanta is taken over by aliens So everybody yeah as we mentioned everybody's back to normal no one's head is off their body no one has

Back to normal. They're better. They're better. Yes, sexier and Everybody's all the couples have coupled up all the way. I don't know about Stokely that outfit now Definitely not sexier lavender. They made her like preppy and it was like no Also, a few people are dead and a few people are dead. It's just like old lady Yeah old lady. I think John Stewart is dead. Yeah. No, okay, so this is kind of funny. And you know, it has one of those endings that I love

where they show the cast and then they like flash the name of the cast member and then show a little scene of them in the movie kind of looking cute, right? Mm-hmm, yeah. And they show, when they get to Jon Stewart, he's wearing an eye patch and his hands are bandaged. I guess, did they shoot a scene with him where he's back and fine? He just has a, anyway.

Interesting, and that's the way of, I mean that's the only communication that Robert Rodriguez gives us that like yes He's still around. I think there's a lot of about that. There's a lot cut from this movie I was mentioning this to Emily. There's a whole cut character There's a character named Venus and yeah, the actor is in all the Tommy Hilfinger ads But it's just not in the movie except in the background of one shot. So who knows what the Venus plotline was But there you go. So yeah, everybody's coupling up.

Stokely has a worse outfit. And then Elijah Wood turns to Jordana Brewster and says, "'Boy, things sure have changed, haven't they?' Just like saying what happens at the end of a story. I mean, a series of, yeah. All of those lines right at the end are so weird that I was like, I guess this is like again intentional Stepford-wisey kind of satirical, like satirizing the end of a horror movie, I don't know.

Because it's so self-aware most of the time, if not all of the time, that when that happens, you're like, okay, well this is definitely, they're doing something here. It's not just that bad. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be really funny if Elijah Wood said that

at the end of Lord of the Rings. He could. Well, things sure have, we certainly went there and back again, didn't we? Yes. We certainly have returned to the Shire, haven't we? Yeah. But we're changed. We're changed from our adventures.

Yes, we are. It seems like a note, so like just a dumb executive said, like, and he has to say they changed. Because I do have a screenwriting book anyway. So yeah, that's the faculty. Before we rank the movie, we're gonna talk about the best lines's the faculty. Before we rank the movie, we're gonna talk about the best lines in the movie. Now, Emily, I noticed in our doc,

you had put the best lines, and I think we can all agree that the best stuff in this movie, dialogue wise, is all of the Stokely slams. These are all fucking home runs, beautifully delivered. I agree with all your choices, Emily. Matt, do you wanna play us some good Stokely slams? Before we play those, I mentioned that I have some cloves.

Ooh, oh yeah. In my apartment. And I don't know why I'm saving them for a special occasion and I recently found out you're not supposed to inhale, which I didn't know that in college. No one else. So while we play these I'm gonna try to smoke a clove correctly in honor of Stokely. This is exciting. This is very exciting. Maybe it's from your part. Blow me blood fart.

Blow me blood fart. Perfect. So good. Emily, how's that clove? It's hard to do. Yeah. Am I doing it? We're not 16 anymore.

I don't think I'm doing it right. We're not 16 anymore. But you're not inhaling. That's what I think is easy. You're just puffing, you're just puffing on it. I know, I don't like it. Do one, you know with a cigar, do one of those, nya, go nya. And then let the, there you go. I can't, I don't like it. Do one of the, you know, with a cigar, do one of those, nya, go nya.

And then let the, there you go. I can't, I can't. I'm just gonna inhale it, guys. No, no, no! Emily, no! Sorry, I'm sorry, I wanted to do it. Maybe while you're smoking, we can play some of that Sheryl Crow song

you like so much. Oh, yay, I'm a big Sheryl Crow head. Hell yeah, yeah. This is Superman in Disco Jones. I wouldn't go there. Just wish I was here. With resuscitation. With a criminal...

I'm sorry, but everyone is just... Godzilla works so good in music. I know. Everything! Some call him the ultimate musical instrument. Some do. I just love that kind of spooky, like, organ playing that is in a lot of her early music. I love Sheryl Crow.

That's great. But I also love Creed's cover of 18. That is such a banger. Oh yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, they have a lot of like school-themed songs get a little cover and yeah, good old Creed. I mean, and as Creed probably would say, wasn't the first 18 year old Jesus Christ?

If you think about it. Yes. If you think about it. Yes. Thank you. Well hey, we're gonna rank the faculty on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials when we come back. ["Super Loud Commercials"]

We're back. It's Free With Ads. We are here with Janet Varney from all of the podcasts. We're going to rank the faculty on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials because that's what you have to pay to watch it. Janet, you're our guest, you'll go first. One to 10, what do you think? I like to copy what other people say and decide, so this is gonna be very hard for me. We can circle back to you if you want to. Yeah, circle back to me, because I probably will just

split the difference between you. Sure, Matt, what do you think? You wanna rank this one? You watched this in an Islands islands you said, right? Yeah, I was at an islands and I watched it on my phone and when the waiter came over to get my order, he said, what would you like? I said water.

He said, okay, great. Is that the faculty? Yes. And I was like, yes it is and now we are best friends. Wow. The way it was meant to be seen. Yes, yes. And in front of Island Nachos and Tiki Fries.

Hell yeah. Man, that's a night. It was a night. Bro, you gotta call me the next time you're watching the faculty and eating Tiki Fries. That's true, you gotta call all of us. Yeah, you gotta go to Glendale and hang out at the islands. Then we can go to Galleria.

That's a great islands. Yeah, I'm going to give this a nine, actually. This was surprisingly great. I remember seeing it as a kid and thinking this is a great movie. Kind of silly, though. You know, fun, time, forgettable. As an adult, you really appreciate just how well made

the movie is and how it's a movie you could watch from beginning to end and be like, I had a lot of fun. So I'm giving it a hard nine. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna go similar. I'm gonna say it's an eight again. It's just a really like really super well-made movie, great performances, all the actors you like.

If yeah, if you're a 90s kid, there's gonna be so many like, oh my God, I love this person type moments in this. Yeah, as we mentioned before, there's some stuff that hasn't aged great. So, you know, I think if you're kind of like watching it with that in mind, you're gonna have a great time. Yeah, it's an eight for me.

I watch this movie pretty regularly. Again, this is my second watch of this month. And yeah, I love it around Halloween. So the faculty cult classic, yeah. Emily, what do you think? Nine. Okay. It's so good.

I almost did 10, but then I started comparing it to Empire Records, which I believe I don't remember if I get, maybe I didn't give it a 10. But it felt like it was in that vein, but didn't quite get to that level of nostalgia feel good that Empire Records did. But yeah, I could watch that movie over and over. And the soundtrack, you get points for that for sure.

Yeah. Faculty high marks all around. Janet Varney, what do you think? I'm going to give it an eight and a half. Told you I'd split the difference. Went ahead and did that. So good job, The Faculty, very fun movie. I, yeah, I wish, I'm gonna echo what you said earlier, Jordan, I wish that Robert Rodriguez would come back

and make us a few more faculty level, like easy to watch, still creepy, classy, weird, funny, dark movies. I'm into it. Here, here. Less spy kids, more die kids. There, yeah, exactly, thank you. Ha ha ha.

That says it all, doesn't it? Yeah. Well hey, that's Free With Ads. We did the show and now we're gonna do the plugs. Janet Varney, so much great stuff, many great podcasts. The JV Club is your amazing interview show that's been going for a while now. It's funny, fascinating conversations

with your favorite funny people, actors, comedians, all those sorts. And it kind of is related to this movie because you start your conversations talking about people's time in high school? Yeah, for sure. I can't tell you how many people were infected by aliens or alien viruses when they were in high school. You've heard it, and yet the still movie still works, even though I've heard those stories

so many times from real life. Yeah, check it out, and then yeah, check out E Pluribus Motto with John Hodgman and myself. We even ask for a lot of listener interactions, so check the socials for, including Max Funds, for the opportunity to weigh in on a state you love or a state you live in. Video clips, audio clips, emails, we're incorporating all of that into our journey, our virtual road trip. Amazing. The JV Club and E Pluribus Motto,

find our podcasts, there are not. Emily, you got anything? Well, I'd say everybody go check out my Etsy store, Flem Gems. I should have more and more fall stuff coming out every week. And a little plug for the show, before we recorded this episode,

we did a really fun live streaming AMA on Max Fund's YouTube channel. So that was a blast if you want to watch that slash listen to that, that is archived on Max Fund's YouTube channel. We will throw the link to that in the show notes. And yeah, maximumfund.org slash join. That's where you go to support all the great podcasts

we've been talking about today. And if you join up with Max Fun and support the network, you're gonna get a ton of bonus content, including our pilot episodes. We review free with ads TV pilots over there. And also you can listen to the pilot of this show. We will have the pilot re-recorded of this show in Emily's living room for Max Fun members.

So if you wanna hear a jankier version of this with a lot more segments we didn't need, MaximumFun.org slash join. Okay, that's the show. Tune in next week when our movie will be Children of the Corn. [♪ theme music playing. Say the word, let's.

Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Thanks for watching!