Free With Ads - The NeverEnding Story, with Janet Varney

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

It's the last week of the MaxFun Drive and we could think of no better way of celebrating free movies than to invite Janet Varney (E Pluribus Motto) to watch The NeverEnding Story, a childhood classic about a little boy who escapes into fantasy in order to forget how dead his mom is. Tune in next week when our movie will be... Yesterday (2019) ----- Jordan will be at Oakland Comic Con on May 9th and 10th, at the Oakland Convention Center. You should read Predator: Bloodshed! Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/joinfreewithads

This is free with ads, the podcast that asked the question, why pay HBO max 11 bucks a month to watch all the Lord of the Rings movies when you can go online for free and see an epic quest that may not have a runtime of three hours? But you'll probably spend that long watching it because you'll have to pause it every five minutes to sob like a baby. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is the never-ending story, the fantasy adventure that's been traumatizing kids while imprinting on them sexually since 1984.

With us as always, the super producer, the he freak. Matt Leeb hitting us with the drops that get us out of the swamp of sadness. I mean, of course. Matt, you're starting with it. Get it out of the way now. I have another one. I have another one.

Here it is. Okay. You want to play the other one. There you go. Stupid horse. That's exactly how I feel. Cheer the fuck up. Cheer up, horse.

You're being an idiot. Hey, this is a very special episode for many reasons. One, we're doing this movie that. Everyone wants us to do. Here you are. You're welcome. Two, it's the Max Fun Drive. So that's really fun.

It's the time of year where we go to maximum fun.org slash join. And by we, I mean you, the person who's listening to the podcast, it supports the show. It ensures we can keep going for another year. And this is also a special episode because we have a very, very, very special returning guests. One of our faves who apparently has seen this movie thousands and thousands of times. Hell yeah. An actor. One of the producers of SF SketchFest

and the host of the Max Fun podcast, E Pluribus Motto. It's Janet Varney. Hi, Jane. Thank you so much for having me. Oh, yeah. Welcome back. Oh, my goodness.

Thank you for coming. Yeah, we're thrilled to have you. Well, hey, the movie. We're going to talk about it. It's streaming free with ads right now. But before we do, we're going to hold in our tears long enough to get to know our guest in a segment we call Talk to Guest.

Talk to guest. Shannon, so you wear many a hat. One of those hats is voice actor. Something I get when I tell people that I write for animation is they are like, well, that's got to be easy. You can just think of anything and you write it and somebody draws it. And they're... Man, you're meeting a lot of dicks. I've never met...

I know. I've never felt that one. way about that's an amazing perspective. The last time someone said this to me, I'm like, huh, I bet people do this to voice actors. Oh, yeah. Are there things about voice acting that are challenging that maybe people wouldn't guess? I think a lot of it is. I mean, for one thing, it's like, I think because, well, first of all, I want to say people

who want to be voice actors who maybe don't have a ton of experience in acting or, you know, they would be coming in fresh without a ton of theater or acting experience, but who understandably feel like the heavy lifting happens on the animation side. Like, well, I don't have to look like a superhero. I don't have to be like dangerously thin. Like all of the things that in many ways are true about voice acting that make it kind of healthier than maybe being an on-camera actor. Those things are true.

but it's also hard to describe how difficult it is to kind of just be still in one place, keeping your body a certain distance from a microphone in a dark room by yourself with all focus on you and no one usually anymore to act with other than the voice director, which is something that I also do now and I really take it seriously because having been on the other side, I know what it feels like to feel like, oh, I'm acting against like potentially a brick wall if it's not, you know, if you're not getting something back. Anyway, so it's, but it's hard to kind of explain that in just a short. So I think the thing that people, like we kind of now know to say is, well, voice acting is acting. So we sort, you sort of have to get in your body and be

comfortable performing and doing all of that in front of a live audience and all the things that feel like you're going to avoid having to deal with by becoming a voice actor. You kind of have to still do all of that to have the skill to really give a great performance under these very specific circumstances, including like standing in front of a music stand with the words in front of you. It's real tempting to just sound like you're reading. But then you see, I'm sure we've all seen, you know, anime or like dubbing or, you know, you see stuff where you're like, well, I can hear you spelling out. Like, I feel like I'm why, I'm hearing you read a word you've never read before.

And somehow that's what made it into the show. So I hear that a lot with dubbing. Dubbing is a really good example of when someone. I bet that's hard. And there's so much pressure. I can't, I've never had to do it for a whole movie. Like, yeah,

go ahead, Matt. What were you saying? Totally. No, I mean, listen, I'm not saying it's easy, but there are times. I'm someone who enjoys also audio descriptions when I'm watching something. Because sometimes I'm doing other things.

And I'm like, look, I'm not, you know, vision impaired. I just, I just want to not keep my eyes on the screen the whole time. And so sometimes it's nice to hear someone not only dubbing it but also reading the stage directions. Like the mushroom turns into a tiny goblin who runs quickly towards the man. It's nice. What's this movie you're talking about, Janet?

This sounds awesome. I think I just described like 80% of anime. Yeah. And I say that's who love the anime. A lot of mushrooms going on. And sometimes, yeah, I'm like, guys, put a little josh in it. I understand that this is, you know, sort of an ADA compliant type thing. But come on, this gets some actual voice actors to do this.

You know? That's what I say. You're creating more jobs for voice actors instead of handing more over to AI, so I love you even more than I already did that. That's true. That's very true. That's right. Janet, I didn't know you were doing voice directing. I would love to hear a little bit about that.

Like when you are doing that and you are trying to support that voice actor, like, what do you have to keep in mind? Well, I think the first thing is just for me, I'm not like a tough love director. I don't respond particularly well to those kinds of behaviors as a... Same. Yeah, right? You're not the Alfred Hitchcock of cartoons. I am so not. I am so not.

And I, you know, the person I worked with the most in voiceover, for sure, is Andrea Romano, who's like a legend in the business and every single great, like franchise show, like every Batman, everything that everyone loves, she had a hand in directing. And she's, you can just tell. She just gets, she just works really well. she's a great, what I came to understand quickly and just like kind of watching her and being interested in what she was doing 10 years ago when I was first working with her was just really being such a great intermediary between the writers and the show creators and the actors because, you know, sometimes you're a great writer, but you might not be the best person to give a note to an actor. Sure. And hold on, a writer is weird communicating?

Hold on. I thought it was nice when I said you absolutely said that totally wrong. Did I say that? So I think it's just, yeah, it's like figuring out how to. I mean, it's a little bit of like, I don't want to say politics because I think that has such a negative ring now, but the sort of mediation of like how do I get everyone happy and as a people pleaser, that's just like probably the worst choice of job for me, but also like really scratches an itch.

and I think so I think for me like you know I I did this pilot last year and we were working with a lot of people who didn't have any voice over experience which was definitely a challenge and like the feedback from you know the like third person in the room like the executive or whatever who was neither of the talent nor the creatives was like I you stayed so upbeat like even as that person was privy to like the people in the room being like, this is going horribly. Like, what are we going to do? Are we going to have to recast? And they were like, I don't know how you like somehow translated that into like, okay, I'm back. So amazing take.

That was awesome. Loved, like, there were a couple little nuggets in there. I think we got. What if we just did it a totally different way? Yeah. What did we just changed it completely? I don't know. Switch it up.

Switch it up. And like, it were, I mean, though people get better when they feel safe. I don't feel that they get better when they feel like they're about to get fired. And I think that's like some sort of, I think people who don't understand actors who like don't like actors, which I get, but I do. And I feel like you can, if you understand an actor's soft underbelly, you can have a lot of compassion for them. And that's also how you can kind of pull out the best performance. Beautiful.

And speaking of soft underbellies. Speaking of soft underbellies. Covered. The first guy, Belcour. Exactly. You knew. We could only have been talking about one character. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, hey, this is a great, this is a great segue. Thank you, Janet, for doing my job for me and segueing into the talk about the movie. Pleasure. The Neverending Story. Janet, and my email to you when I told you that this is the movie we were going to do, you said, I've seen this so many times I probably don't have to rewatch it. Yeah, but I'm so glad I did.

We should go around the horn and talk about what our experiences with this. movie who I think we're all like basically exactly in the age pocket of this was on TV on TV constantly for sure. Janet what where did you remember first seeing it? What kind of movie was it to you? I don't remember first seeing it that's one it's one of those movies that I it just feels like it's always existed in my life and youth. Definitely saw it too yeah like the first time I saw it whenever that was for sure like too young for how scary it. kind of it. I mean, is, I don't know. I think I'm too young for how scary it is.

Oh, yeah. Some of the puppetry's, there's just a real, like, it was really great to watch it as adult because I definitely have seen it so many times that there was no surprise in terms of, like, why I know exactly what's going to happen next. I remember most of these words and lines. I remember, but, like, suddenly you click your adult lens and you still have your kid lens on, but, like, you put your readers on top of that. Yeah, totally. You're just, and you're able to to see both things at once and it's such a fascinating layer cake when you're like, oh, like that explains that weird feeling it always gave me, the like uncanny valley. It's like, well, they're saying things in German, I think, maybe, and like they're dubbing

in the English or a German actor said it, but then they dubbed in with an American person or, you know, there's just a lot of stuff like that where, or like the way the puppetry kind of works, It's like both amazing and sinister and when maybe it's not supposed to be at times, like with Falcour. It just like it just kind of like the dark crystal. It had this like kind of fever dreamy sort of like it's unsettling, but I can't stop watching it. You know, but there is definitely one thing that I really didn't remember that I would have thought for sure I would remember. and when we get to it, I will make that abundantly clear.

It's definitely a moment where I was like, why didn't I remember this? Emily, how about you? What is your relationship to? This is definitely a slumber party movie that was played at a birthday party. I don't remember if it was mine. I don't know whose it was.

But it definitely haunted my thoughts forever. I've watched it so many times, but it's been easily, I don't know, a decade since I've watched it. Yeah, same. And boy, things hit a little different this time, I think. Also, yes, it's really scary, but the overall, like, sadness of this movie, like, is just so heavy that I'm like, how as a kid was I able to, like, hold the amount of sadness this movie has in my heart? Like, we start with a dead mom, like, right off the back.

And it's like, we love a dead parent. Yeah, and love a dead parent who played major dad on TV. Oh, is that major I think he's probably gonna be my hunk watch Just let you know Oh, what Yeah, he is

He was handsomer than I Remembered as a child You're not really looking at bald guys With any level of seriousness Raw eggs he's chugging Dude What the hell? Mix them up in a blender

That'll make it taste better That's a smoothie? An orange juice and a raw egg Is a smoothie now? Hey, it was the 80s That was a different idea of healthy Back then I think Yes, but real quick shout out

Because we don't need to talk about it this is not what we're here to talk about. But shout out to the book. I also read this book. I was definitely the kid. I was definitely the kid who was like, there's also a book. Like I was such a nerd reader that I would totally go backwards and absolutely

chased down a book if I found out there was one. And it's, I mean, again, this is something I've only read twice maybe and I certainly have not revisited since I was a child. But I, it is a very special book. It definitely, this movie does not, you know, it does, Neverending Story 2 kind of does sort of clunkily pick up where the book continues. But it's a beautiful book. And every, the thing I remember most is that it's illustrated.

And every chapter starts with a letter of the alphabet, an illuminated letter. And so it's this beautiful illustration of this big illuminated letter with the things that happen in that, in that chapter, like characters you meet and stuff. And then the word of every chapter starts with that letter. So it would be like the very first chapter would start like all through the night, da-da-da-da. And then the second chapter would be like, Bastion, blah, blah, blah, blah. So that the, so it goes all the way to Z.

So it's 26. Right. Bring me my Xylophon. It is like, you definitely are like, what's, how's they're going to do X? Yeah. I think the one character is the, the illustrations you're talking about at the end of the, like towards the end of the movie, there's a bunch of illustrations that the trade discovers.

Yeah. I'm wondering if that's maybe from the book. Maybe that is. Maybe they got the idea. Maybe got the idea from that. I can't remember. I definitely know. I mean,

I looked up, I read up a little bit on some behind the scene stuff. And I read, I definitely pulled a quote of what Michael End, END, E-N-D said about this. It's a great line. Yeah, not a fan, right? I also did a little bit of he wanted his name taken off it.

about what he thought it was. Matt, this is not one you missed during your family's TV ban, right? It actually is, sort of. This movie I saw, this is the first movie I ever walked out of. What? How old were you? Controversial. I was in elementary school, and they played it on, it was like a rainy day.

everyone was in the auditorium and they put on a movie. And I think it was like an after-school. It was an after-school thing. Like we were all waiting for our parents to pick us up. They put it on. I had a headache. I watched the first few minutes of it. A kid who looks like me in my mind gets beat up by bullies twice.

And I really didn't like that. It left the bad taste in my mouth. And then shit just went haywire. And I remember actively going, This isn't for me. And walking out. Didn't like it. Did not revisit it until I watched it yesterday.

Oh, shit. That's exciting. Yeah. I mean, I knew about Artax and, you know, drowning in the river of sadness or whatever. I had seen, you know, clips from, you know, people passing him around, but I'd never actually sat and watched it. And I have some thoughts. I have some thoughts about this movie. Just to complete the

quadrant, we had a taped off TV version on a VHS, so it had all the commercials for... Oh man, what were the commercials that split up? Mac Tonight commercials. Yep. And so I would only fast forward and watch the Falcour scenes. I just

cared about Falcour. So I, you know, I'm like, but I've seen this movie a ton, right? And then when I put it on last night to watch it, I'm like, oh wait this thing has a plot that I'm unfamiliar with I just thought it was a series of scenes about falcour so anyway I am coming into it pretty cold too amazing well yeah let's let's talk about it we open with a theme song I think the expression is doesn't have to go that hard but it does that's right sure it sure I was gonna do it for karaoke and then all of the young people got it got it cut up you know I'm ready

you know I'm ready with this shit yep yeah Oh, wait, I have to keep playing it. Oh, there's our guy. There's our guy. I mean, it's just, it's such a good song. You have the aureen. I've got the oren. And Emily has produced the necklace from the film.

I forgot about this. Somebody made this for me. They 3D printed the oren. Wow. That's great. I read that the one from the movie is in Stephen Spielberg's office. No, she. Yeah.

Let's go steal stuff from Steven Spielberg. That's a fun little indie movie stealing the thing from Steven Spielberg's off. They could get our listeners up if we went and robbed Steve's Spielberg. Yes, that's good. It's good pod promo. This is the con we should have been running the whole time. It's good pod promo.

Good pod promo. Look out, Steve. Yes, beautiful, beautiful. It's fucking 80s-ass theme song. It starts with a kid, a normal kid in the normal world waking up. This is Bastion. and his family has huge butter. The butter, did you see the butter that this family had?

The block of butter was so big. Butter and thin white bread. Yeah. You could take a knife. Fat, thick butter for the Bastion family. A high cholesterol family, let's be honest. High cholesterol. I don't know how mom went, but.

Yeah, I can guess. I think I can guess how mama died. I think I can guess. I don't know. With a name like, the name she had at the end that we find out with that's confusing that's a lady who's vegan I don't know sure you'd think um but maybe you know hey maybe dad went crazy after she died finally

bring me the biggest butter you have the biggest butter and let me get some eggs for my o jgianist butter I'm trying to die let's make this son an orphan mom mom is mom is gone dad is cold and unfeeling now hold on yes he's doing his best I think that I remember him as being very cold and unfeeling and now as an adult I watched and I was like oh they're kind of walking a line

that's a tightrope like he's trying to connect with this sun you're right you know what I'm saying like I don't remember that at all I remembered him being like utterly cold and unfeeling and now I'm like McRaney hunk alert first of all he's hot he's infusing probably

probably way more than is in the script like I feel like he was like he made this a more complex performance that anyone asked him to and shout out to him for that. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah.

Not a long scene, but a very significant one. And yeah, probably guys like this guy's about our dad's age, you know, probably weren't encouraged to go to therapy, get in touch with their feelings. So this is probably as emotional as this guy could be. Right. I don't know. He was nicer to Bastion than my dad was when I did stuff that he did. Like, it would be like, I bet you weren't drawing unicorns in your notebook. That would be so awful.

That's worth calling home about you. But I was also failing everything. subjects. And the horses weren't even that good. Unicorns, my bad. Yeah, the unicorns, my bad. But no, he was just kind of like, I feel like you could turn this around sport.

I don't have to punish you. Like, just do it for me, okay? I know we're both hurting. We're both hurting in our own ways. By the way, we didn't talk about the opening credits, but just real quick, I still love those, like the cloud effects. Yeah, I don't know what that is.

I know how they do it. Okay, please. Emily, how do they. They do it. Okay. They mix fresh water with salt water. Okay. In a tank.

And then they take milk and do droplets of milk in there. Okay. Wow. I saw, I have an Instagram video. I'll send it to you. Send it. Make your own. Make your own.

Never ending story opening credits at home. Yeah. Yeah. I think there might be something else in the milk too, but that's how they were doing it, which is cool. Gorgeous. That is awesome. I'm so glad I brought that out. Okay.

Awesome song. Awesome visuals. So, back. He's not only, he's sad at home, but he's getting chased around by fucking impeccably dressed bullies. Bullies look awesome. Those backpacks, my dude. I know. Kind of liking that Godzilla movie we watched.

Like, if you saw a Gen Z influencer dressed like one of these bullies, you would go, that's the world's coolest guy. Yeah, that's right. I'd let him steal my lunch money. He has like a men's overnight bag, Bastion does. It's like this. It's one that you know would be. dusty in the lobby of a holiday in. Like, it's not a book bag.

It's not a book bag. Also, I feel like they are given dialogue that is, like, way too, like, New York 1930s. They're like, hey, use, if use ain't got changed, use is going in the trash. They literally say, hey, are you holding out on us? 23 skedoo. One of these guys in the mafia? And they're in, like, jim-a-bug out of here. Charming downtown Vancouver.

They did call his mama's boy at one point. Check out this mama luke. That was great. Cleanest dumpster, by the way. The bullies put him in a dumpster and the dumpster's just full of hay. Yeah, he really lucked out. It was like the one clean dumpster in New York. Yeah.

Well, we're going to get rid of this hay. I mean, they could have done one of those like fish skeletons that you see in like the cartoons. Yeah, like he comes up and it's in his hair. There's like lettuce. Yeah. And like carrot greens and then like a fish. Fish skeleton. Fish skeleton with the head on.

Can with the top flopping off. Can with the top. Flossing open. Curled open. Yeah. And a cat with a torn up suit is like, are you going to finish that? Heathcliff,

get out of here. What are you always doing here? We could be improved upon, but we're doing it right now. It's not perfect, it turns out. There are improved ones. That's right. We should add dubs.

That's right. So, yeah. So the kids getting bullied. He takes refuge in an old. an old bookstore with a kindly, well, not a kindly old man. Kindly, it's like kids. He meets a new asshole.

He's mean. Also sinister. But he gives him a beautiful leather bound book with the... He steals it. He makes it possible for him to steal it. Oh, that's right. He does not give it. But I would think he kind of sets him up to take it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wants him to take it for sure. He does. But also the speech that the old man tells him about the book, I remember as a kid just going, can't wait for this to be over. I'm just going to dissociate. for now.

Why? Because his face was so close. What I did. Just fast forward to Falpour. Yeah. Well, and I was watching it and I was like, ooh, this speech, this monologue is pretty cool actually. He's like telling him

that, you know, this book will put you inside of it, which then we do discover later on. Yeah, there's some very meta stuff that will happen later. I don't know why he needed to do the reverse psychology. He needed stuff to do. It's just like he gave. Clearly he's not organizing the bookstore.

I understand, but like he, he, he felt the need to essentially sell him on the book by saying, you don't want to get this book and then it causes him to steal it. He also could have given him the book. The guy wanted to read it. He was the one kid in the world who wants to read. I didn't understand that. He knew something about just quickly hearing that Bastion likes books and could name off a couple of classics.

Right. Made him feel like, this is my guy. Right. This book is for my guy, and it's going to be braver and cooler of him. If he steals it from me. To steal it. Okay. Yeah.

Then to. And also, frankly, he's less liable. That's true. As an adult, he can't be sued. If the kid gets killed in Fantasia. He's like, he stole it. I told him not to do it. In fact, I have a note.

He signed it. He said he's going to return it. Yeah. The note was cute. I liked the note. He leaves a little note. I'll bring back your book. It's very cute.

We got to know that he's, I guess that's like the Save the Cat moment where you're like, oh, he's a thief, but he's just a borrower. He's just a sweetie. He's a little sweetie. And yeah, we've talked about this. Like the kids movies of our youth had a lot of this convention of like, oh, it's a story, but you have to like meet the kid who's like hearing the story. Yeah.

And like, oh, that's so interesting. Like, I wonder why they did that. Oh, it's to like connect kids to the story or connect them to the life lessons. And I'm like, oh, wait. It's because it was cheap. It's because you could fill out fucking 20 minutes in the kid's bedroom. and you don't have to go to Fantasia and have more puppets. Anyway, so I'm like, this probably was a...

Is that not how the book is? I knew you're going to ask me that, and I do think that it... I mean, it is such a key point of the story that a kid from the real world is reading the book. And then you're reading him. And you're reading him. So I think it is, I think that is a huge component. Where that doesn't exist is a Princess Bride.

That's right. Which you can draw several parallels between this and the Princess Bride as we go. and that is not when you read the William Goldman book you're not seeing like a Peter Falk reading to a sick They probably borrowed this from Neverdick story because it came out in 86 and this came out in 84. Yeah, so there might have been some influence. I don't know when the books were, yeah, that's a great point.

Yeah, I don't remember, and I was just trying to remember when the books came out, but I have no idea. But they do use it in a very interesting way here, especially when we get to the end when it's pretty like trippy and mind-blowing. I like it, yeah. Oh, we'll get things. We'll get there. Yeah.

There's definitely people who loved this movie microdose on LSD. Oh, yeah. Right now. I would not be surprised. I probably watched this while high. There's no way I didn't at some point. No, I did not. I was like, we're doing this stone cold sober.

I was not about to make my mind go there. Would have been back. So the kid goes to school with the book and doesn't like, but he doesn't go to class. he like takes the book up in the world spookiest attic to read. Can we talk about that key? Wow. So yeah, let's all.

So yes, the kid goes in the attic that is filled with skeletons and taxidermy. I think he goes to long legs middle school. Don't forget the mannequins. Oh, and mannequin, yeah, and like torso, mannequin torsos. Yes, Emily, there's a, there's a key, you. Yeah, there's like the key to get into the attic, which I guess he's been in there a lot. But it's just like a busted little box where you could just take it and go up. could be going up there all the time.

I'm like, you know that kids are up there smoking weed all the time. There were kids in like middle school, elementary school that were smoking weed already that I knew. Oh, for sure, for sure. Yeah, that attic is, it's a stretch. Yeah. I know. I just be like.

Did not question that as a child, but it's a stretch. It should be like maddy ice cans up there. Yeah, for sure. Playboys with Latoya Jackson and used condoms. So yeah. So he decides to read the book. in the spooky attic and we are transported to the world of Fantasia. And in that world, there's a lot of weird little guys.

Oh, yeah. A lot of weird little guys. Right away. We've got a kind of a humanoid character who's really Willy Wonkaing very hard. Oh, he was the, what were the little guys from Willie Wauke? An opalumpa? He was like, he's the Tim Burton opalupa actor. Well, I will say that his red felt top hat is probably the worst hat in the movie.

Oh, no! It's the only hat, I feel. It might be the only hat, but I do think it is a pretty bad hat. Oh, shot fired. Sorry. Anyway, so there's him. There is a kind of a feral guy. It's kind of a feral.

It's kind of gobblingy. Kind of. Yeah, gobblingy. They each have a, a mass. one has a big old snail and one has a bat that he like pilots like a hang glider. Love that bat man. That's very good. That's great. Yeah, it's awesome.

Everything looks great. Everything like looks great in this movie. It's one of those things of like because it's practical, it holds up really, really well. And then they a big steamroller thing comes crashing down. It's piloted by the rock bider who's a big rock guy. guy. Well, I was going to say that I think definitely the longest guy is Falcour. Right.

And I think that if Falcour was standing on his hind legs, he would be taller than the rock fighter. No, I don't think that's not correct. The rock fighter is really tall. Matt, play the sting anyway. All right, here it is. Tallest guy. One of these guys. One of these guys is the tallest.

Okay. But I've never called Tallis Guy first. And I was really like waiting for it, Jordan. Okay. Well, you got it. And Jordan, just for you, I'll say, longest guy. There, no.

We got to have the widest guy now, too. Oh, well, someday. That's Falcour. Someday. He's pretty wide. Falcour's pretty wide. Or they said white. Oh, yeah.

Whiteest guy. Bastion's dad. And his giant butter. Anyway, so they're, they're really worried. There is something creeping through Fantasia, swallowing everything up. It is called the nothing, and it just turns things into nothing. Very, very spooky.

Very easy thing to describe in a book. Turns out to be a challenge when you have to do nothing. Yes, I think it's the wind, kind of in the movie. It's just a bunch of wind and clouds. I felt like it was just this unknowable, like, emptiness. And that was acceptable for me as a kid that I'm like, well, I just don't get what it is. And that's fine. But you did get it.

You did get it. And that's the thing that I also feel was happening in that time was like, and maybe I'm just thinking of like two hugely influential things on me. The book A Wrinkle in Time. The book, The Neverending Story and the movie Neverending Story. So we can count that as three. Where like the big bad is so much more existential than like a dragon or, you know, just a this, a this, this vampire guy. It's like, it's like so much deeper. And it's just, and it is this kind of unbearable.

emptiness and I just wonder like we don't have time for this is probably a different podcast but like is that like a product of like World War II? I don't know but there's something so it's so existentially vast. The bomb maybe like the inaction of of humankind of the loss of innocence of children who don't believe in stories anymore the like well I thought it was a positive like message personally after like thinking about where it's the whole movie is about fighting the sadness. The dissent into nihilism. That's what I thought.

Like, losing hope and not believing in humanity. I mean, it's like he's grieving. He's dealing with grief. His mom is dead and his dad is on the road to death. Chugging eggs. Chugging eggs. Trying to die. And, you know,

fighting against the sort of nihilism and you know, the depression. That's kind of. Becoming hopeless. Yeah, and hopelessness. Yeah. But don't you think that could be a product of like, we've got to shake ourselves loose of this, like, horrible thing that happened. That's probably true.

Because it just feels more global. It feels like it's the world is being consumed by this emptiness and this nihilism, opposed to, like, this small group of kids have to fight this one guy who lives in one haunted house somewhere. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't know. It's just big stuff. I'm just saying it's big stuff. It is. It is.

But I think it was good for us that it was big stuff. I agree with you, Emily. I think so, too. I kind of forgot that that was, there were so many messages of, there's no hope, give up, like, and then this kid just is like,

I will continue wearing half of a shirt. And like, just keep going, baby. I think it's about 9-11. I think they predicted it. I think they predicted it. Wow.

I think they got like the Simpsons predict shit. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, no foul course died during 9-11. Coincidence? Oh my God. Wow.

Coincidence. That's true. Wow. I mean, if the twin towers are the oracles, that's actually a quadruple tower. That's right. The towers on the towers. Oh, my God. There's titties on those.

Yeah. Towers have big boobs. Yay. Anyway. So, yeah. So the nothing, it's swallowing up Fantasia. They, the kind of weird, the weird little freaks go to like the, you know, some sort of grand palace citadel type thing.

It's filled with more freaks, filled with a bunch of other freaks. filled with a bunch of other freaks. You don't really have anything to do with the movie, but look really cool. And an elephant. Yeah, weird elephant. One painted elephant. Yeah.

Statute guys. All kinds of freaks. We love them. So there's one person who can stop the nothing. It is an empress and she is ill. And the only person who can get to her for some reason, a prophecy, I guess, is a Treu. He is part of the Plains people.

And he is a young, a young warrior. And he happens to be there. how fucking efficient this movie is. We don't have to find a Treyu. We're just there. We called him. We called him already. We sent for him.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe this is like a big search in the book for this guy. But he's like, no, I'm over here. I'm ready to go. I'm 10. Yeah. He's very young looking. So, yeah, Treyu's there.

And he gets the medallion from the, I don't know, senator guy. And he sets off on his horse R attacks. And they ride around. And we kind of get these little periodic kind of cuts to the kid, Bastion in the attic reading and like eating his little kid lunch. It's very cute. He's got a sandwich in an apple. But we also see a creature of darkness starting his quest. And that is we see a bunch of creepy eyes in a cave.

That really fucking scared me as a cave. Yeah. It still is scary. It's scary. And then yeah, like buckle up. We're already there. The swamp of sadness. This happens very quickly in the movie.

It is a quicksand swamp. As it has been mentioned by many, many, many people, but the entertainment of our youth had a lot of quicksand in it. A lot of quicksand. Oh, Princess Bride had quicksand. This is light quicksand, but it's mud. The same rules is quicksand, but it's mud and it's sadness. Yes, and if you let the sadness overtake you,

then you sink it to the swamp. Yeah, don't go in the swamp of sadness without a zani bar. That's right. There you go. Or a really good therapist. Sure. Or just go to do a little detour around happiness field. Yeah, go around it.

That's what I say. Anyway, but sure enough, the sadness overtakes R-Tax and sinks it in the mud. It's fucking brutal. Even though we basically just met this kid and this horse. I'm so glad you pointed that out because, like, Like in my mind, we had spent so much time with our text. He was all the best friend too. Well, there's that one little scene.

They're at this beautiful meadow for a little while. You're like, this movie's going to be so beautiful and fantasy. And there's a little babbling brook and the horse wakes to tray you up from his slumbered. You're like, yay. And then bam. So he's sad after eating like his horse feed in a meadow next to a little stream already. You're sad? I mean, maybe it was really bad.

Food. Yeah. Yeah, food, maybe the food. Have you ever had some food and then got depressed because it was terrible? Here are texts. I brought you Arby's. Oh. Yeah.

Fuck it. This was also the first time I was a little, and I don't want me to be a downer, about a downer that isn't really a downer, but now I'm making it a real downer, which is. How comfortable was that for the horse in real life when they were shooting it? It was the first time I was like, oh, that seems unpleasant. Maybe it was relaxing like a spa tree. I hope so. Ooh.

It's funny. I was watching it. I mean, I, the way I viewed it as an adult watching it, I was like, oh, that horse is neither sad nor panicked. It is just standing there. And, you know, you don't see it actually sinking. It just, you know, shot, reverse shot. It sinks a little bit more every time.

So I kind of found it like, I don't know, lo-fi and kind of funny. Because as long as it's not, as long as it's not anxiety-inducing to a horse to be, like, Like, immersed up to the neck in mud. Right. Well, he's also pulling on his bit. And he's pulling on him. Right. They're, like, they're biting on that thing in the teeth.

And I was like, don't hurt his little teeth. I know. His little teeth, they're enormous teeth. Right. Like, you know. He was probably fine. They say Mr. Ed loves talking. He's definitely dead now.

Well, yeah. No, no. I think he and his, he and his partner manage a bunch of Airbnbs in Fort Laudaday. That's right. Don't overcharge you guys. No, I know. And they love show business, but they're very happy. And he still does.

fan cons every now and then. I hope I run it to him. He's done with the grind. Anyway, yeah, also, you know, this scene, maybe don't watch it if you have a elderly cat that's in constant need of expensive medical treatments, maximum fun.org

slash join. Anyway. Good pitch. Thank you. This cat has so many needs. Oh, my God. So anyway, Our text sinks into the swamp.

The kid goes to a little mountain that's actually a big turtle. And then while he's reading it, Bastion screams and they can hear it. So this is the first time we think that maybe the wall between the story and reality is thinner than we thought. Very cool. So, you know, it's a very questy quest. He goes, he finds a thing. They tell him the next thing to find. He tells him the next thing to find.

He needs to find the southern oracle. which is something. I don't know. He's got to go find it. So he finds these little, he finds these little like elf guys or an elf like husband and wife, I think.

Or partners. I don't know if they're legally married. This is the only romantic love story in the whole movie and it is the best. Oh yeah. And you could tell they're older, but they still fuck. Oh, yeah.

Oh, there's a lot of sexual tension there much like Carol Kane and Billy Crystal. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. You're right. You're right. I think they, he has to meet Falcour first, right?

Falcour is the one who brings him to this locale. He just knew, I guess, where to take him. I don't know how that works. He's now like, he's now like going after Morla, right, the giant turtle. Yes. Then he's having to go back through the swamp of sadness. Now he's super depressed. And the Gmork, the like scary wolf guy is getting, we see him getting closer.

And then Falcour swoops out and then brings him out and then takes him. That's when he gets, he gets taken away from the swamp of sadness, but conveniently after the horse. Yes. And yeah, that wolf gets a lot less scary when you learn his name is gomork. Gmork. Not great. Wait, Emily, are you suggesting Falcour let our Rtex die? Yeah, because Falcour's a diva.

Are you kidding? They don't want no competition. He's like, I'm going to swoop in and become his new BF. I will say as soon as Falcour comes in, it's fucking Rtex who? Yeah, exactly. He doesn't talk about Rtex? rest of the thing. I got a fucking flying dog dragon now.

It's way better than that stupid horse. Upgrade for sure. It's way better than that suicidal horse. Fights bullies. So anyway, yeah, so the little elf people tell them to go to the Southern Oracle and it is behind two gates. Well, Gates. Gagga, Gagga Gates, because it is two Sphinxed

statues with giant jugs. You guys, this is it. I did not remember this. And I say that as what I think was shot. I thought I was the horniest kid in the world. I was the horniest kid in the world. I knew this is what it was. How did I not remember that?

Yeah. How did I not? I'm surprised I didn't take more advantage of that, frankly. I remembered it as a kid, but I remember, I remember this thinking, this is art. Don't be weird about it. I don't know how. I mean, I just did not see it about it. and I'm like the angles that they took from every part of the tit.

It was like a mammogram for a giant pair of tithes. It was crazy. The amount of shots they got. Yeah. I'm usually more of a statue ass guy, but they, yeah, these sphinxes, they stacked. Well, it's also he has to, so he has to pass through those gates, the sphinxes with the tities. and believe in himself. You have to know your worth.

And I'm like, but I feel like it's just don't look at the tits and then you can go through. That makes more sense. That's what I thought it was for sure. It's like the movie, nope, but with titty. So yeah, if you go through and you don't know your worth and or are distracted by the tits, you get zapped with their laser eyes.

And we see a knight do this and just get fucking fried. But Bastion, he's got it, or sorry, Atreou, He's got to do it. Oh, but isn't Bastion kind of Atreyu if you think about it? Aren't we all kind of Bastion Atreou? You are. That's true. Anyway.

I'm the old man's one tooth. Yeah. Just dangling. I love that little tooth. I love that little tooth. I think it seems like there's a point at which you can sort of see the old woman's real teeth behind her giant square big teeth. Oh, yeah.

That's true. Where I was like, you're adorable. I love this. I loved it. Wait, can you guys, you guys notice that Falcour has a human nose. He does kind of. Yeah, yeah.

He looks like Aubrey Plaza a little bit. Like, again, the like movements of the eyes and same with more like the eyes are really well done. They do a great job with the eyes. Gmork's eyes are crazy looking at that. And I think like Aubrey Plaza,

Falcour has surprising range, you know? Oh, yes. Maybe Falcour's kind of one note when you see him in parks and rack, but then like, oh, like, He really is a really great actor. Did you see that's true in White Lotus? The Hothalco was so good in White Lotus. You see that, well, that's really where you finally see is like weird bottom tiny teeth.

Just tiny bottom teeth, just like a dog. Tiny human dog teeth. Yeah. Yeah. So Atreou, he makes it, he makes it through the Titty Gates. But it does still. Titty gates at one. They still do open up their eyes to zap him.

So anyway, he just like jumps out of the way really quick. Maybe the night should have just done that. Whatever. Anyway. So we're kind of almost at the zenith of his quest. We're going to take a little break and come back for more. We're back. It's Free With Ads.

We are here with Janet Varney. We are talking about the never-ending story. And we are going to get back to that depressing ass classic children's movie. But first, we want to talk to you about the Max Fun Drive. Hey. Peeo, peo, peo. So, you know, here's what I like to say. What is the Max Fund Drive, people ask?

I don't know. I don't listen to any other podcasts to do a Max Fun Drive. What is it? Guys, it's basically we work for tips. That's right. You tip your bartender a buck a drink, right? Matt, you're a non-drinker, or even you know that. I tip your bartender.

Even if they're not serving me a drink. Oh, you used to hand out dollars to people. I just give money to people. I'm sort of like Mr. Beast, but on a smaller scale. Wow. Probably a much smaller scale, no offense. No offense taken. Very small scale.

I love him. He's the wealthiest man in the world. You tip your bartender a buck a drink. Why not tip your podcasters a buck an episode? I think this is worth a buck. I agree. Worth one buck. I'll say it.

So. No more or no less. No more. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. It can be more. I mean more.

I mean more. That's what I meant to say. Max fun. It works a little bit like given to your local NPR station. It works a little bit like work. to give in to your local PBS station, kind of like Patreon, but it's for an entire network.

You join the network as little as five bucks a month. There are other levels with other benefits. We'll talk to you about those later, but basically five bucks a month is the bottom level, and we sure do love folks joining at any level, but that one works great. You get the knowledge knowing that you keep this show coming for another year, and also you get our bonus episode.

That's right. So it's not just a 10. It actually is. It does have some value. That's true. It's the tip. It's just the tip. That gets you into the speak easy and the bad.

That's right. The good stuff is happening. We do one bonus episode a month where we talk about some, we have been talking about free with ads television. We've done stuff like Twin Peaks, the X-Files, Gotham. We've done several Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes. We're changing it up a little bit this year and doing a new show. show called We Like Shows.

Sting goes here. There it is. Good sting. For we like shows, we're going around the horn. Each host is picking a show that either we're watching now or something we think is an all-time classic and we're watching it and that can include paid streaming services as well as free ones. This month it was Emily's pick and she picked what? Night of the Seven Kingdoms.

Yes. That episode is up for you now. You can listen to it if you're a member. Janet, talk a little bit about e-plurbos motto. I'd love to hear about what y'all are doing for the Max Fun Drive. Well, e-Pelibus motto, that is the podcast in which I explore, along with the great John Hodgman, the various and sundry mottoes, flags, snacks, drinks of all these, for now, United States. I'm talking Commonwealth.

I'm talking district. I'm talking territories. Hell yeah. We jump in. We celebrate the quirk. the strange, the wonderful things about these various states that have personalities all their own and some kind of amazing and sometimes shocking state symbols. It's such a blast. For the Max Fun Drive episodes, we've been looking at famous movies or maybe not so famous movies that we determine with our very little authority what the official state movie and official state TV show for some of the states that we've covered so far should be. It's been a blast. We have a a ton of great bonus content. We have some really great interviews in there for people.

I've talked to the writer of Mystic Pizza that we've really dug into for Maine. We've talked to, at this point now, we've talked to a state assembly person from New Hampshire. And most of the people are people who get in touch with us because, as we all know, Max Funn has the coolest, the smartest, the most charming, delightful, quirky, great listeners. and that's one of the things that makes Max Fund Drive so special and so fun is knowing that we have this whole community, not just of people behind the scenes who are working at a co-op, at a time where almost every other version of a podcast is now owned by some giant billionaire conglomerate nonsense. We are the exact opposite. And it's a place where the creators get to own their content, the staff owns the company, and it all happens because of, let's see. like you who also happen to help John and I make our content better and funnier. So we,

we love you. We're so appreciative of you. And I feel utterly shameless about being here and saying please support free with ads, please support, Iplurbos Motto, Jordan Jesse Go, all the delightful shows on the on the network. You can pick the ones you want to support. But you're getting bonus content for everybody, whether you're clicking that box for their show or not. It's great. Heck yeah. Well said, Janet. And yes, I think it cannot be repeated enough. Maximum Fun, not a giant mega company, but rather a worker-owned co-op that just makes podcasts for weird nerds. It's a place where a show about state mottoes can thrive. It's a place where a show where we review Sylvester Stallone's arm wrestling movies can thrive. And yeah, and again, it's so cool that we, you know, if we were part of one of those giant companies, we would need a million. listeners to even be considered a show they should keep around. A million listeners and a lot of pseudo-Nazi political takes. Yes.

That helps. That helps. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. So yeah, we, you know, these shows can stick around if just, you know, a handful of, a handful of lovely freaks goes to maximum fun.org. slash join. We hope you do.

And yeah, you can rest easy knowing that your, your cash is going to a cool or organization, a worker-owned co-op that has not given assent to Joe Rogan as far as I know. Well, yeah, we're going to talk about some of the cool. Or big pharma. Or big pharma. It has never helped Trump build a ballroom as some podcast companies have. Really? Yeah.

Oh, really. Get which one. Take a wild fucking guess. Anyway. It's that JV club. No, no, no. That's a max fun show, too. It's on hiatus, but it's a max fun show.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. And we have some goals for this pledge drive. If we hit 200 new members, we will all watch and review the Matthew McConaughey, Timothy Salomey, Town Hall. We'll get to listen to these handsome idiots try and blow each other's minds and we'll tell you what we thought about it. So that's for 200, 200 new free with ads members. For 500, we will do a live watch-along of a movie.

TBD. We'll all press play at the same time and it'll be like you're watching the movie with us. And for 900 new free with ads members, we will release stingtones. That's right. We will release all of our stings as ringtones. So when you get a text, you can hear one of our famous stings. We will put them out there as in P3s for the world to download. But only if we get 900 new members.

So yes, maximum fun.org slash join. We're going to talk about pledge gifts a little bit later. But yeah, Matt, why don't we play a little music and get us back into? our convo about the never-ending story. We're back. It's Free With Ads. We are here with Janet Varney, she of E. Pluribus motto. We're talking about the never-ending story

for the Max Fun Drive. All right, our boy Atreou, he has made it through them double D gates. He does a couple other things. He looks in a mirror and sees Bastion. That's kind of trippy. Yeah, that's a wild moment. Yeah.

And then he gets into the temple where he is supposedly where he is to find the Southern Oracle that he has been searching for. And that's when the fucking wolf is there. That's right. Gormark, who is,

and this hit me really hard on this viewing as an adult. But Gimork is like, you're going to be my last victim. Gormork has even kind of like accepted the fact that the nothing He's a servant of nihilism Like he's just

He's just going as long as he can Before he inevitably dies He doesn't want to make anything better He's terrifying And even like we see the rock bider For a second And even he's like accepted it And he's like I

These hands were strong Were they not? Also He calls the bat stupid It's like insult to injury guy Really? You have to be like They're all gone

Even the stupid bat I'm like, guy, come on. That's not nice. The bat's great. Well, honestly, I think that this monologue is my R-Tax. Like, Artax used to make me sob, but they look like such strong hands, don't they? And he still couldn't save his friends, but he's so big and strong. And he has tears coming out of his little rock eyes.

And it's like water, and you can, the expression on this puppet, I was like, Jesus Christ, it's so sad. But yeah, and the fight scene is meh. Yeah, so the obviously like... The fight scene scare quotes. Yeah. How does a human child actor fight a giant puppet? Well, not very excitingly. It lays down with a sharp rock and rolls over.

Yeah, basically the Gmork pounces on him. And he, at a tree, just like had a sword or a rock or something and he got stabbed. Yeah, the rock shard. super hard to kill. Well, I wanted to say since, you know, we were talking about voice actors and you're a, you know, you're a teacher and a coach and a director. Do you think that the voice actor could see what Gimorke was going to look like? Because the way that they moved their mouth for the words that came out, it sounded like how it would come out of that weird puppets, chunky, weird mouth. Yeah. I think so. I think so because I still have this suspicion that

Yeah, that it was like recorded by someone else's voice and then that actor who I think did like may have voiced other like I think. Oh yeah. Right. I think he's like he's like but it's but I mean I'm but I think I mean I'm not sure but did Gmork also like is the guy doing Gmork also like the rock biter or like some other. I feel like there's a sure. I did a couple of the main puppet roles. I looked at some of the other like Falkhors They're all like Steadily working like Yeah Maybe I'm wrong Maybe I'm wrong

But yeah I agree that like he That yeah the sound The articulation feels like he Had access to the visuals Of like the snarl and the like Yeah if that voice wasn't so good The that thing's nose would have been Way more distracting than it was

It was like the nose sucked in And then out again a bunch And I was like, I couldn't stop looking at it, but it scared the shit out of me. Alan Oppenheimer is the name of Gmork. And he seems nice. Wait, he also did Falcourt. I knew it. Ah, there we go.

I knew there was like a multi-talented. Yeah. Holy shit. That's amazing. How about that? Eric Bowser of 1984. What a badass. So yeah.

So but then, I mean, fucking spoiler alert. The end of the world basically happens. The nothing like happens And everything in Fantasia is like destroyed Except for these little floating like space chunks And so Atreou rides Falcour around the space chunks And he finds the like tower that they were looking for The ivory tower

Where the childlike imperises Imperus Imperis There you go Put another he has on there for no reason You know why maybe I did that It looks like the childlike empress has braces I think you In watching this in HD on a bigger TV

I'm like I think she has braces Or invisible I was gonna say I don't think they had clear braces back then Oh yeah I wonder if they just put a film on her teeth She looks like it says the child like empress So it's like that casting is pretty crazy Because she has the voice and kind of Of an older girl

It's really strange She's also a great actress I mean say what you will She's great But then I read up on her a little bit and turns out I love and respect her for all of the choices she made in her career including mostly not doing any more acting

but in part because they got a bunch of like super creepy like people were like stalking her like men oh no they would get like they would like find her and like leave her proposals on their family's phone it's like a real like I don't want to say the young woman who was murdered who Yeah, yeah. The J.B. word, but like the heavy beauty pageant makeup, like, that brings out a certain level of creep that is just, like, super yuck.

And so now I'm going to have to delete all the photos of her makeup that I was going to show my friend to do to me. So you could still do that. You could still do that makeup. I don't know. See, it feels wrong. But you're a grown woman, so it's appropriate makeup. I don't know. So they find her in the tower and apparently to save all of Fantasia, she just needs a new name. And she's from an earthling.

And then she tells Atreu that an earth boy is reading about her, but also people are watching him. So she's looking in me too. I'm like, oh, wow, there's this like double meta thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really trip. And they're like looking down the barrel of the camera. Yeah. But buckle up because when we were watching it, we were the bastion to bastion.

and then now people are listening to the podcast about it so now there's another bastion on a bastion on a bastion. Wait, can they hear us screaming right now? Yeah, we're part of the never-neague story. I'm high in my dorm. Is this what it feels like to do a Christopher Nolan movie? Oh, we all got Nolan. We got Nolan.

We got Nolan. And the listeners, you're in it too. Yeah, you are. Bastion runs out onto like his school's roof or whatever and he screams a name and it's his mom's name and I never knew what he screamed. And if you watch this with subtitles, it doesn't come up. It did for me. It did for me. It didn't for me.

I had him on the whole time and they dropped out when he yells the name. I never knew that that was what he said. And I don't know. I don't think it was the same in the book. Oh, well, when I looked it up, I. it said that the name he screams is Moonchild. Yes. Which, yeah, points to mom being at least the children of hippies.

Yes. Well, yeah, it is Moon Child here. And that fucking fixes everything. And not only does Fantasia get put back together, but Bastion gets to ride on Falcour. He gets to scare all those impeccably dressed bullies from the first act. And everyone is alive again, including Artax. You don't like

Artax anymore? I think that he gave up. Okay. You think he deserved it. He learned a lesson about giving up. Sorry, when am I ever going to use this fucking stink? Listen, there's horse movies out there, man.

That's true. That's right. Seabiscuit. That's horse is a hero. Yeah. More horse nuts. That's the never-ending story. We're going to talk

about what we think of this movie overall, but first, oh, we gotta do the hunk watch. It's Hunk Watch. Emily, is your official hunk Major Dad from, not Major Dad? Major Dad.

For the beginning. It's Major Dad for the sure. Janet, any thoughts on the hunks of this film? I mean, I guess probably the Sphinxes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And you know what I like about the finks? Spinks is, huh?

They're twins. Oh, Twins. Anyway. Matt, any thoughts on the hunks of the film? Well, I guess it's not the childlike Empress. I shouldn't do that. You know what? Atreu is wonderfully and gender fluidy kind of in a way that I think was like, I don't think it's intentional. I definitely had a crush as a little girl for sure.

I want to say Atreu without it being weird, but I do. Because he's still a child. He is a child. And I don't know if we have a strict rule against calling children hunks on this. Probably we should. Yeah. But I enjoyed his performance. I would say it's hard to say who's a hunk.

I have to go Falcour so as to not weird anyone out. Well, that's still weird. You like that ear scratching, don't you, man? I like that almost as much as he did. Ah, there you. That motherfucker came. Well, we're going to rank the never-ending story on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials when we come back. We're back.

It's Free With Ads. We're here with Janet Varney. She of E Pluribus motto. It's the Max Fun Drive. I mentioned this during our first break, and now, time to pay it off. We're talking about the pledge gifts. Yes, if you're a new member or an upgrading member, if you want to upgrade your membership, we love that, and you'll get yourself some gifts. Five bucks a month.

We mentioned it. It's a wonderful level to give at. You get all the Bocco, all that sweet bonus content. But there's other levels you can give at for 10, and it's cumulative, I guess I should say. If you give it a level up, you get everything below it. So you're not just getting one gift. If you're going higher in the levels, you get all the gifts for that level and everything below it. So you can really get yourself a bonanza here if you play it right.

10 bucks a month, you get one of the enamel keychains that are specific to the shows. Our show's keychain features our new mascot that we just thought of recently. It's Stingy the jellyfish. He's a jellyfish who does stings. Yeah. That's the part of the show people like. Yeah. They like it.

People come here for the stings. Nice. You know? That's why they're here. For some reason, people already have a jellyfish keychain and they pick the e pluribus motto keychain. Do you know what your design is? Well, and if I remember correctly, there's going to be an opportunity to buy an additional keychain after the drive. Usually, you can get other key chains from other shows for just a little bit more, and all of that goes to a great cost, too.

Our keychain this year is the official, I believe it's the official, maybe we made it official, state cryptid of Pennsylvania. My favorite cryptid that we have come across, because we always cover cryptids every episode, is the squank. That's right, the squank. A tiny, a tiny strange creature who has, as we recall, very wrinkly skin and who's always crying. So we have a very cute squawk and a little sign that says, won't you please give the squawk a home? It's very ugly squawk, but cute, ugly, cute ugly. Check it out.

Get yourself a stinging. Get yourself a squawk. 10 bucks a month. For 20 bucks a month, you get the good, clean, fun bag, or the rocket visor. The rocket visor, very cool. I saw one of these at the office. It's an Elka Fun Beach Viser with the Max Fun Rocket logo, or the good clean fun bag, which is a cool travel bag for all your travel bag.

Travel Essentials. We always have the best gifts, you guys. The gifts are great. They're really, they're genuinely cool looking. I use my little cooler bag from last year all the time. I use my beach towel. See? I use my enamel pin.

There you go. The enamel pins are lovely. The key chains, they're, they'll hold your keys. For 35 bucks a month, you can get the infinite quench water bottle, a stainless steel water bottle. There's other levels, 50 bucks a month, 100 bucks a month. if you're feeling extra nasty. And all kinds of cool gifts,

you can check those out at maximum fun.org slash join. And of course, no matter what level you give at, you get that sweet, sweet bonus content. All right. Head on over to maximum fun.org slash join. We're going to play a little bit of music and then finish up our chat about the never-ending story. Okay.

We're back. It's free with ads. We're here with Janet Varney, and we are going to rank the never-ending story on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials. Janet, as I think the aficionado is the one who's read the book. What did you think viewing this as an adult, one to ten super loud commercials? I can't, I can't.

It goes back to what we were talking about at the top of the episode. I can't remove either lens. The kid lens is still there. The grown-up lens is also there. I can't get rid of one and just have the other. But I'm still going to give it. it like, but at eight. What do I care?

Why not? Why not give it eight super loud commercials? It was super fun to watch. It's weird. What's special about it is still special. What's upsetting about it is still upsetting. But I still feel like it's a little weird treasure. And if it, and it also like became like 400 times as popular as it's been in a long time because

of Stranger Things. Shout out to Stranger Things for giving Kate Bush another house and all of the other things. but I think they do a really nice job of bringing up some of these things that were so iconic for us and so it was really great to revisit it from that perspective as well. Emily, what you think?

One to ten, super loud commercials. We're going to let Matt take it home. All right. So I had just such a really wonderful time watching this movie again. I remember it being sad and it was sad the whole time but I found it to be very hopeful

and made me want to get my ass up and do stuff and not, you know, go into complacency and sadness but I did think about Bastion had to wish Fantasia back into existence. That's how things were, how he rebuilt Fantasia.

Like he wished for all those things to be alive. But what would my wish be, and it would be to get those Oracle titties on the glass. Yeah. Anyway, I give it a nine. A nine. I am also going to go eight. I really had a good time watching this.

Again, those practical effects, ooh, boy, do they hold up, look super cool. And yeah, and I really liked the message of this movie a lot, kind of like fighting despair with like imagination and hope and creativity. Very, very cool message. And yeah, it definitely like gives kids a lot of credit for like taking in some of this stuff. And yeah, I don't know. I totally had a blast.

It's like kind of a weird mess in some ways. You're like, what is this about? like from a store I'm like okay a tree is just there in the castle okay so there's some stuff like that but I think it

definitely has a little kid like storybook logic to it that's that's really neat and yeah I'm glad that this movie is stuck around as long as it has it is really it's a really cool thing very very 80s

yeah and still very very watchable Matt as a man who walked out of this during an elementary school assembly what did you think watching it in 2026 okay So I appreciate everyone's opinion about this movie, including all three of you who gave your very real opinions. I respect anyone who is brave enough to give an opinion about a movie.

I respect anyone who listens to this podcast who loves movies and loves when we talk about movies. And I think we can all agree that in America, we're all allowed to have our own opinions about movies. Oh boy. Here we go. Okay, one time I took what I would call too many Benadryl. And it felt like there were spiders crawling on my back. This movie is very similar to that. It's got a fever dream quality.

It's got a fever dream quality. But like in a way where it gives you a fever while you're watching it. I thought the message was good. I thought it had its moments where it was cute and fun. I think it is a horrifying film. I understand it to be enjoyable for children. I don't know those children. I don't know why they would find it enjoyable.

I would give it a four, but because I like the theme song, I'm going to give it a seven. So the theme song is so catchy that I've listened to it pretty much all day for the last 24 hours since I heard it. So shout to whoever wrote the theme song. It's very good. Georgia Omeroder, the Father of Disco.

Well, thank you, Father of Disco. Hajar Gu-Gou? It is. It is. It is. It's good. Yeah. I mean, just like so much good music.

So much good music. It's great. So much good music. The score itself is very cool as well. Should we tell him? Matt, I'm so glad that you came to a seven because we had decided that Anything lower than a six, we were going to throw you in a dumpster.

Oh, no. You're holding out. I'm holding out. I'm holding out on you guys. Hey, you guys, I found out something kind of satanic about the name Moonchild. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, it's one of the... The term was also using Alster Crowley's novel, Moonchild,

to describe a magical child created through ritual. Yeah. Never ending story is satanic. We don't have time pack. All right, Tennessee parents, you better burn those books, baby. There you go. The movie was Satanic the whole time. Hey, Janet Barney, thank you so much for joining us on this show.

Other than the Max Fun Drive, we've talked about that. Anything else folks should check out? Yeah. You can check out what's up there, Splinter Cell. on Netflix came out last year We got another season coming up with that That's an animated I believe it's a Tom Clancy derived

Oh I was gonna say I played those video games Yeah yeah yeah It's a really fun It's really fun It's like somehow I got I get my character gets to order Leah Schreiber around

And that feels good Oh cool Oh hell yeah He's a little bit of a hunk alert for me So yeah Oh yeah Yeah and then just you know There's other podcasts that I do

That are floating around out there Just give it a Google You'll find them Give it a Google Emily, anything? No. Matt, anything? Thursday, the 23rd of April.

I'll be at the Ice House in Pasadena. 7 o'clock, I believe, or 7.30? I don't know. It'll be in the show notes. New World Disorder. It's a fun stand-up showcase with me and my wife and other great comedians, including the Sclar brothers, are going to be there this time, and a bunch of other really funny people.

So check it out. I am going to list a few Marvel Comics, either written or co-written by me that you should be picking up at your local comic book shop Predator Bloodshed. Yeah, you gotta do it. Are enough folks reading this thing?

I don't think so. Predator Bloodshed. It kicks a lot of fucking ass. You should read it. The Amazing Spider-Man, Spider-Versity. That kicks off this month. It's going to be fun, fun, fun. If you like the Spider family of heroes.

And yeah, if you also, if you want to get some of these comic books signed by me and you're in the Bay Area, I'm going to be at the Oakland Comic-Con on May 9th and, 10th. It is the first Oakland Comic-Con in some time. So it's going to be a really cool, fun first year. Um, ninth and 10th, and you can get those tickets at Comic-Con oakland.com should be a lot of fun. And tickets are very reasonable. So if you want to like

try a con for the first time, this one should be a lot of fun and manageable. Okay. Tune in next week, when our movie will be yesterday, 2019, that movie about the Beatles not existing. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artists-owned shows. Supported directly by you.