Free With Ads - Titanic, with Jon Gabrus

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

This week we invited Jon Gabrus (High and Mighty) to carve out about 6 hours of his time to watch and talk about James Cameron's Titanic, starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio.Listen to one of Jon Gabrus's many shows such as High and Mighty and Action Boyz which is mostly Patreon-only but you can listen to a few of them for free here! Finally you can listen to all 30 episodes of the Gino Lombardo Show here!We are excited to announce that Free With Ads will be doing our first ever LIVE SHOW at San Francisco Sketchfest 2025! Join Jordan, Emily, producer Matt Lieb, and a very special guest at the Punch Line in San Francisco on January 23rd at 7:30pm for a live show you will never forget. Get your tickets NOW!Free With Ads merch is finally here! Go to the MaxFun store now and buy something for yourself!Also, we are having a contest! If you buy some merch and take a picture of yourself with that merch and send it to [e-mail], we will pick one of you and the winner will get to have any song they want Godzilla-fied. That's right, Matt will make a Godzilla remix of your favorite song.

It's Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Disney Plus $10 a month to watch Avatar or The Way of Water when you can go online for free and watch another water-based James Cameron movie that won't constantly distract you with those sexy-ass blue cat people? I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Titanic, the 1997 Oscar winning classic that is responsible for hundreds of deaths from drunk assholes slipping overboard during booze cruises while yelling I'm the

king of the world. With us as always is Super Producer Matt hitting us with those dope ass drops. I'd rather be his whore than your wife. Fuck yes! Yes! I love that line so much. And with us today is an actor, improviser, and I'll say it, one of the funniest podcasters

to ever podcast, John Gabras. Hi John. Oh my goodness, thank you for having me, Joe Moe, M. Flam, and Matt Matley doesn't hit as hard as the others. But, you know, I'm so stoked to be here. When you asked me to do the pod, I was pumped. And then when you followed up with the movie, I was like, oh, a three and a half hour homework for a podcast. Got it.

But sorry, not to shatter this fucking podcast premise, but I wasn't about to watch that with ads. So. No, it could be four hours and you could watch the same DraftKings commercial 10 times. I watched my double VHS. Oh, hell yeah, really? Dude, I have the double VHS too.

We all did, all of us elder millennials got right on Titanic, even hetero boys. At my house, we had a triple VHS of it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. Wow. One for each mad. Sort of also your origin story for who you've become. Yeah.

That explains a lot. By the way, those are all free with ads. Gotta be, gotta be. Like, truly, they are. Hey, we're gonna talk about Titanic. But before we do that, we have an amazing guest, and we're gonna talk to them in a segment we call Talk to Guest. John Gabris. We're recording this betwixt Thanksgiving and the winter holidays.

What's a John Gabris holiday? What happens on a John Gabris holiday? You know, that's a great question. Raised Catholic, so I do the Christmas thing. I celebrate Christmas, but I celebrate Christmas like a Jewish person? My Christmas tradition is Chinese food and a movie. Hell yeah. Since I stopped going home and spending 5G's home

being my mom's house, which is another thing I should wrap my head around. That's not my home. I'm going to my home this year for Christmas. I used to go. What's your order? What's your Chinese food order? I go fucking ape shit at Genghis Cohen. Shout out little-

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, but they usually have like a click here for like the full Christmas dinner pickup. But the things I like a lot from them are their no name duck, the princess chicken, which is their General Tso's, their crab rangoons, while are not the best crab rangoon you can get in LA. That is my favorite Chinese food dish, so that's always part of my order.

Me too! But Genghis has bananas good egg rolls. They have like the best egg roll I've had since I moved west. And not to be like New York Chinese food supremacist But like that shit I have not been able to find general So as good as like the scariest place in my hometown in LA

Genghis Cohen is such a great like LA institution I like last year they have a little back room and I saw a really grimy punk show back there. Like a really kind of like nasty packed in punk show where like the singer was yelling like, kill your local transphobe. And like outside was just these elderly people like all eating Chinese food. Dipping crispy noodles in sweet and sour sauce.

They're talking about us. Yeah. There used to be comedy shows back there, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They have all sorts of kind of weird stuff there. I think there still is one back there called Kvetch. And yeah, it's pretty good.

It's a fun little space and a great little restaurant. Yeah. Hell yeah. I saw, when my brother lived out here for a year as a nurse, I saw an anesthesiologist's R&B band there. No way. Yeah, he's like, I gotta go to this colleague's thing. And I'm like, bro, that's around the block from my place

or close to my place, freaks. And- Don't find Gaberson, kill him. You think you'll gain his powers. Well, if you do find me, please kill me. Was there a big audience, or did you have to, like, sedate people to get people in the door? It was not a huge audience.

It was small enough that we were kind of guilted into staying for way longer than we wanted. You know, when you're like, too, I can't leave. If the four of us leave, we'll cut a third of the crowd out here. It's our like loud footsteps will echo through this empty ass room. But at least there you can like dance, cause it's music and probably talk.

When it's like a improv show or something, you can't move, dude. It's like, it's brutal. I think I have the power to walk out of improv shows. And if someone sees me, they'll just be like, he's been doing it for 30 years, let the guy go. It's not because he hates what we're doing, right? He's been through too much, let him go.

I've seen, I have like ITSD, improv traumatic stress disorder. Here's something I wanted to ask you about and this is like a pretty common podcast topic but I think, you know, we're a new show and I think we need to like hit all the tropes Let's do a little nog talk when you when you're drinking during the holidays. Do you do a nog? I'd like to go around the horn and hear how people feel about nog I used to be like I used to love nog Before I was a drinker. I would just be so happy that it would be like,

something like a milkshake is in my house briefly. You know, we never had treats in my house. We never spent money on anything is what I've learned as a grownup, is that like, if it costs money, like we weren't allowed to have it. But sometimes on Christmas, Nog would show up in the fridge and like, it was gross enough that like, my brothers didn't like it, But sometimes on Christmas, Nog would show up in the fridge and like it was gross enough that like my brothers didn't like it. So that meant like I could

have like two glasses before it. Like, you know, and now if I'm going to drink it, if I'm going to have a couple of adult bevs, it's kind of hard to make it Nog. But if right, if if it's the thing, if I'm somewhere and they're doing Nog, I'll have one.

OK, Emily Nog. nog, I'll have one. Okay. Emily nog. Okay. I, I fucking love it. Um, the funny thing to me is that, um, egg nog on its own tastes like there's alcohol in it. Yes. Even. And so it's like, there's all these non-alcoholic wines, non-alcoholic

like beverages, I think that egg nog is the king of non-alcoholic beverages. I think that eggnog is the king of non-alcoholic beverages because it tastes like you're drinking alcohol a little bit. Imagine if you were a sober person and you just brought nog to parties all the time, like in July. You're like, I got some nog in the cooler if anyone, I know I'm six months sober if anyone wants. Just trying to get that feeling back.

You can add your own brandy if you want to, but I'm here. Just drinking eggs and cinnamon. Is that what you put in it? My family's done alcoholic eggnog, but I've always been like, what do you put in there? I've never actually made alcoholic eggnog. Is it brandy or is it rum or is it whiskey? I think you can do any one of those three.

Oh, okay. And I think you wanna keep it in the Brown family. So no gin. This is bullshit. Yeah, gin might be, I would say you could probably get away with vodka in there, but I think like a bourbon, a brandy and like a spiced rum, like a Cassins or something like that would hit the best.

God damn, I'm hungry now. Just dump a couple of buzz balls in there. Yeah, that's gross. Although the horchata buzz ball is lit. It's like a little bit eggnoggy, I highly recommend. But yeah, you got to put a little nutmeg. That's what you always have in your cup holder in your car, right? I don't drive.

And we don't drive. I don't drive. But if I did drive, you better fucking believe it, man. Well, I mean, that's what you did before you got your car taken away, before having to get involved in the car. No, pretty much no one, the American powers that be have never allowed me to have a car, and I've never had one.

The president? Sometimes the government is right. Yeah. Listen, every time I'm sitting next to someone that's driving, I'm like, wow, I'm glad I'm not doing this. Like, every time. It doesn't. It's not great.

It seems horrible. That's going to be Trump's first presidential duty, second time around, and Emily Fleming gets a car. Yeah. I will be the head of transportation. She can fill it with empty buzz balls. They're drinking buzz balls. They're driving Priuses. We got Evelyn Fleming out in LA.

Fuck no. I wouldn't drive a Prius. I would be driving like an old Mazda pickup truck that's stick shift and a driver, you want to drive stick shift and if you are a driver, you have no desire to drive stick shift in Los Angeles. Just being stuck on like an Echo Park Hill in fucking neutral, just like nice. I have to get to Squirrel. I need more budget Squirrel. I'm the only one who still gets their jam. Oh, my God. Oh, the OK. For people who are listening, you don't know Squirrel is a kind of a a bougier, hipster institution in my neck of the woods.

I'm in the like little Armenia, Los Feliz area. But I just learned about the jam stuff. I just learned that. And I ate a fuck ton of jam the other day. Like I went. Squirrel had a jam scandal a couple years ago. Bougie brunch place, great place to see a Ryan Gosling in like, hat and glasses.

Good pastries. Great pastries. And yeah, so it's this place, they're charging you an arm and a leg for jam, and then some undercover reporter got a shot of their jam barrel or whatever covered in mold. So yeah, I don't know if they ever recovered from it. I have not been back post mold scandal, but yeah.

Maybe that's like the unpasteurized milk of jam. Maybe that's like we're supposed to eat the mold. I know the husband of the squirrel lady and he to this day is just like, everyone just doesn't know how jam works. It's supposed to be moldy. It gets a little moldy. And I'm like, yeah, like, everyone just doesn't know how a jam works. It's supposed to be moldy. It gets a little moldy. And I'm like, yeah, man, I don't know.

I didn't go there. Why are you yelling at me? But he insists to me constantly about this goddamn mold. Say it on your podcast, Matt. Say on the podcast that moldy jam is normal. And $30 is a good price. Mold should come on something called preserves. podcast that mold and jam is normal. And $30 is a good price. Mold should come on something called preserves.

Oh, that's true. That's very true. Well, hey, I guess it's time to talk about Titanic. Yeah. Let's first just do a little temperature check. Emily, this was your pick. You were excited about this. Yes, it was.

I think as Gabris mentioned, all four of us were so fucking in the pocket for this movie in 1997. But do you have a personal relationship to Titanic? I saw it five times at the theaters. I owned the box set. I had a t-shirt. I also had the sheet music, because I fantasize about being able to play the piano

but I could not and they got me piano lessons just because I bought that sheet music and That's oh and then I got a penny whistle so that I could learn how to play this song on a penny whistle I was better at the penny whistle than the piano. So is that enough? Is that enough information? No, I feel- That's arguably too much. God. The Penny Whistle is, that's a terrifying- I love that you're like, piano was a little hard. What about this instrument you get in second grade

to play Hot Cross Buns? Now hang on, you're talking about a recorder, which I also had, but recorders are actually harder than Penny Whistle. Oh wow, okay. I'm sorry., but recorders are actually harder than Penny Whistle. Oh wow, okay, I'm sorry. I think I don't know what a Penny Whistle is. Is it what Pan plays? Or is that a Pan flute?

Okay, so recorders are made out of plastic. Man, Pan plays a Pan flute. It's in the name, come on. Yeah, yeah, he plays a Pan flute. A Penny Whistle is just a metal tube with holes in it, and then a plastic mouthpiece. A recorder is all plastic, and it's shaped like a fucking dick.

It always was like, growing up they were like ivory colored as well. They weren't the color of, yeah. They're very pretty. Yeah, not, I mean I'm being a little Caucasian centric here but they were the color of our peckers. Oh, I definitely, I mean. I mean mine's a little purple.

Yeah. Gabriel, see a doctor. My recorder has too much skin. Okay, wait. Can we take some of the skin off my recorder? I attempted to use a recorder for what we're talking about. Oh, hell yeah. It was too big, but I did use one of those plastic toothbrush containers that you put

in your bag as a toiletry container. They were like this big and they had ridges going up and down. I mean, when you're 12 and you got to work around stuff. The toothbrush container sounds absolutely perfect. It was perfect. Is the reason you jumped to Penny Whistle because the recorder was too big? Yes. Were you like, oh, mom,, I wanna play this instrument now?

No, it was really because it was hard to play the recorder. I'd like to go back to the penis riff for a second and say that my penis has nine holes going up and down. You piss like a lawn sprinkler, it just goes back and forth like this. Gabers, where do you remember your first viewing of Titanic and subsequent viewings? I definitely saw it in the theater. I forget with who and where, but it would probably be on Long Island, most likely at

the Belmore Playhouse, our local theater in my hometown. And I remember, you know, not to delve too deep into 90s Long Island toxic masculinity, but I remember being like, I didn't wanna see it because it was gay or for girls or whatever. Two things that are sort of mutually exclusive. Well, we did talk about how when we were around this age, like Gladiator was the dude, the bro centric Titanic. Right. And then Titanic was the feminine kind of thing.

So it's but it's like they're both meant I loved, you know, I like hunky dudes and I like when the ship sinks, people dying in ships. What am I saying? Anyway, you know what I mean. You like frozen babies. You like closeups of frozen babies. Now hang on, I don't know. Go that far.

Well yeah, let's actually get into what happens in Titanic. Before we get into Titanic, we wanted to mention this movie does contain suicide, so if that's not something you wanna hear about, we're gonna play some music and give you a chance to find another episode. Oh, we're back.

It's Free With Ads. We're here with John Gabris from high and mighty action boys a bunch of stuff Matt before we talk about the plot of Titanic you you mentioned you had prepared a special sting. That's that's right I have a sting so that we can all get in the mood for Titanic Billy Zane, that debate, Bill Paxton. Leonardo DiCaprio, Titanic. Wow, they all work except Leonardo DiCaprio. I know, I know. I tried various, Leo DiCaprio, DiCaprio's too long.

Even just his last name's too long. You crammed it in. That's too bad. Nameable job. Oh, well, like if, he fits a little in the flow of Joe Mo, M. Flam, and Leo Dio. Yeah. Oh shit.

You should get him to produce his fucking podcast. We should get him to produce the podcast. I bet he could do some great things. He'd make some big choices. He says Jordan's a little too old. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Replaces me with a 21 year old Victoria's Secret model.

And the podcast goes through the roof. He's got some ideas here. You know, not too bad. She's hilarious. From the people who made Blood Diamond. It's like impossible. There's like no way to really promote the idea that your producer is Leonardo DiCaprio. He doesn't talk that much, but he plays a lot of sound effects

He's got a lot of stings and occasionally he does an Afrikaans accent Are you crazy you get for pay me first for them? I've memorized that fucking movie Whenever me and my brothers are on vacation together we always say are we going long sleeve or short sleeve? Which is what they say about cutting a person's arm off. That's right. That's right for tank top versus t-shirt sounds lovely You don't know what blood diamond is Jennifer Connelly Leo Dio You've never seen it are you crazed I haven't seen it out either Emily so

But I know if I had seen it I wouldn't know all of this anyway In America, it's bling-bling, but here it's bling bang. Listen, I buy diamonds. I don't watch it. Thank you. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Thank you. It's okay.

Titanic starts with good old Bill Paxton. Billy P, he's making a documentary. He's got weird kind of like frosted tipped hair, and he's got an earring. He's such a fucking delightful douche bag in this. I really love what it's doing. He's the star of his own movie here. He's acting like a full blown star.

It's almost as if Jim Cameron didn't tell him that we're gonna shoot all this stuff that happens that we're talking about. Cause it does feel like he's such a big deal. And and I'll also throw out, is he playing Jim Cameron a little bit? I kind of feel like that's the case because they became like really good friends. And if we want to talk about the little submersibles that, you know, they that he had that he was connected to, those were like the proper submersibles,

not the ones we've heard about, where people have a game controller. He like went down with James Cameron a lot, like Bill Paxton and James Cameron became buddies and really interested. And I guess that, I think Bill Paxton and his little buddies are supposed to be there in place of us. You know, like,

we're listening to this and feeling it all and like getting satisfied through looking at hot Bill Paxton's earring. Yeah. He looks amazing. It was dangle in the moonlight as he's like, you know, learning about this and shedding a little tear. Fuck me, daddy, it's so hot. He is, yeah, this part is like clearly in it because like this is the shit that James Cameron's interested in, right?

He owns little submarines. He likes going on little voyages and like I think at the time when I saw this I'm like Do we need this stuff? Can it just be the period stuff this time around? I fucking loved it I was so locked in for this stuff I loved all the little visual matches when they went from like the wreckage to like the ship in the movie. I don't know, this was great. It all worked on me this time more than ever, especially when the Gabris character

who operates the robot arms is like. No, that's not you. That's who I would read for. I will say who I think the Gabris is in this movie. Not this guy. We have another Gabris. I will say who I think the Gabris is in this movie. Not this guy. We'll get to him. I really enjoy him, like, it's a funny scene the way it plays out, but I love him explaining

exactly how the Titanic went down, like dot dot dot, like Morse code, everything leaked in here, break, flip, because then it justifies, it explains the craziness that we're about to see that you might not wrap your head around why it would go straight vertical before it all fell apart. But then there's also the joke of just like, saying it to Rose, who's like, this is wildly triggering, but like, you know.

She's just sitting there listening. She's like. Well, it's just like a nerd. He's excited to show anyone new this thing that he figured out and he hasn't thought about, oh, this is probably traumatizing to this old lady. He's like, can you believe how smart I am, grandma? It's a little Chris Farley show. Remember when the Titanic sank?

That was cool. And she's like, I was on this, bro. Sure, yeah. This tech guy is showing her a bad PlayStation 1 CGI model of the Titanic. Rose is, this is the Kate Winslet character old. They brought her on because they're looking for the heart of the ocean,

a diamond that supposedly is still aboard the Titanic. The ugliest fucking necklace in the history of movie necklaces, in my opinion. Yeah, and for such an iconic necklace, it does just look like something you would get at Party City. It looks like people who went, we found a big blue diamond. I don't know, just fucking put it. Yeah.

Like, I just went put it. I don't know. So yeah, this scene where they're showing her the Titanic sink in CGI is kind of weirdly hilarious. And yeah, it's like this guy was just like, here's the freezing water where people watch their loved ones die. Well, it did feel a little bit like,

Nana, are you proud of me, Nana? Nana, like he was kinda like his mommy didn't tell him that she was proud of him. Do you think the graphics are cool? Yeah. Yeah. Tell me you was proud of him. Do you think the graphics are cool? Yeah. Yeah, someone's proud of me, mommy. So this gets into like Rose telling her story. We go to London in whatever year it was, the Titanic Sink.

I didn't retain that. Was it London where they were? They do some, my friend, a podcaster, Jess McKenna, was telling me about, she went to Belfast to the Titanic experience, because that's where it was built. And she said that James Cameron must have done insane research because so much of the stuff

that's in this, it's like a museum, but they call it an experience. And she says so many details that are mentioned, like the couple who were spooning in bed as the water comes in is real. Like that really. No, oh God, how do they know that? Was someone in there looking at them?

I think you find frozen together bodies, unfortunately. And like the band leader's violin was rescued because like some stuff was still floating there like two weeks later when they came back to like go through the wreckage. But early in the movie they're like, oh yeah, this British ship, it's like it's actually built by Irishmen, you know?

Like, and it's like, that is true. And it felt so weird when I watched it on this viewing that the guy was so proud and then I was like. It felt like they were blaming the Irish. Yeah, okay. It felt like weird when I watched it on this viewing that the guy was so proud. And then I was like, they were blaming the Irish. I mean, like, oh yes, Irish craftsmanship. Jess did say I'm quoting another person constantly, which feels weird, but Jess did say that a big portion of the experience, the first portion is kind of like, we did it right. We gave it to them.

Like, you know, it's a lot of like they went nuts with it. And then they they show that in this movie where they all the wrong decisions. The binoculars thing is real. Real. Yeah. So much stuff is like all the fucking dominoes that lined up for this to happen. We're all real. Yeah, I am. I also when I was young and I saw this, for some reason, I thought they were just taking the Titanic from one part

of North America to another part. I didn't because everybody's accent is American. There are no there's like one Italian guy and then everyone else is American. So why would I think that they're in another country? Why would I think that? That's completely reasonable. They were like we're going from one side of America to the other side. Like I don't know. We're going from Connecticut to Maryland it'll take eight months. Don't forget your safes. And all your art. Make sure to bring all your art with you.

So, yeah, so our main character's Kate Winslet. She's going back to America. She doesn't like it. She wants to stay in Liverpool or London or wherever they were. And she's dating Billy Zane. Billy Zane. I think he's the tallest person in the movie. Oh.

Yeah. Tallest guy. Yeah, I think he's the tallest person in the movie. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Tallest guy. Yeah, I think you're right. And he's got a voice on him. This he sounds like this is what Matt Berry is maybe doing. And the Billy Zane voice in this is why. Can I also I would like to request another sting. Mm hmm. Whatever the fuck that hair piece is on Billy Zane. Oh, is that the worst hat of the movie?

That's the worst hat, baby. Oh, shit. The worst hat. And hey, if you wanna get yourself an actual hat that says the worst hat, why not go to maxfundstore.com and get yourself some free with ads merch anyway. Billy Zane is maybe my favorite part of the movie

on this viewing. Very good villain, very good. He adds so much to this film and he makes the most villainous choices in like the back third of the movie. Just zoom out for a macro conversation on this movie real quick. I watched I watch in two parts because I was going out to dinner with some friends. I did too. I watched the first part up until they hit the iceberg and I left to go to dinner with friends

and I was so juiced to come back for the second half. It was like parking downhill. But at the same time, I was wildly impressed with the first half of the movie where they don't, they've even gotten to all the fucking speck, like there's still so much spectacle and so much acting and so much crazy, awesome shit happening. But everyone remember, you remember once the sinking starts to happen, that's the wild stuff.

But this movie has got 90 minutes before they hit an iceberg, that is all banging. It's so good. Well, what's crazy to me, so I watched the first half of the movie with my sister over Thanksgiving break, and she was like, I don't wanna see the second half. I know what happens.

I don't wanna watch people die. And so we just watched the romance story and had a blast. And then I was kind of dreading the second half. And then I watched it and I'm like, this is like fucking speed. This is like a movie. This is like a badass action movie. Billy Zane has a gun. What when? I don't remember that.

Like, I didn't remember half of the action packed shit from this movie until I watched it again. Bangers only. This movie is bangers only, I love it. And it's kind of interesting that like, I bet, just kind of like, knowing James Cameron, I bet the shit that interested him was like, let's try and recreate exactly how the Titanic sunk, I'll go down in my little submarine

with my friend Bill Paxton, and like, the plot is pretty like by the numbers. Kiss his little earring. The plot is pretty by the numbers, right? And I could see a world where they wanted to do the Titanic shit, they figured it out, and they're like, okay, well let's kind of throw together this story, and I think just a combination of how fucking

good the two of them are, and how it is actually a good script, like the shit people remember from this movie, the iconic shit, is everything that happens before the crash. Like, all of the catchphrases, all of the shots that you see over and over again in media, it's all before the crash. Now, hang on, don't give Propeller Guy... I was gonna say Propeller Guy.

You gotta give Propeller Guy. Yes, that's the thing that stuck with me the most, because I would eventually work... After this movie came out, I would work as a pool lifeguard, and I would constantly visualize people hitting themselves on the diving board because of this, like, that,

and there's another person who falls the other way, and kind of hits one of the banisters and flips, and just the physics of it is like burned into my head of like, oh yes, that is what would happen if you hit half your body on something on the way down I think the second half of the movie quite a big chunk of it is about physics because I I thought about it a lot and I can't wait to get to talking about this because I have a lot of science related questions that none of us have the answers to I can't wait yeah't wait. Yeah, I didn't even know.

I didn't even know like what country they were coming from. I don't know. I don't know. I will have no information on the physics. I want to know how much suction would have happened if you just got off the side of the boat when it was snapping in half. Why you got to go from the top?

It's OK. So Billy Zane, they're boarding the Titanic to go back to America or whatever. And he's like, the ship, it's unsinkable, unsinkable. OK, so. Shouldn't you just assume that when you're getting on a ship, it's like saying that, like before you eat a meal and you can not choke on this, no one can choke.

Yeah, that's I didn't assume that's the ideal outcome. Yeah, yeah, that's funny, yeah. So yes, very weird to make a meal out of the fact that a ship is unsinkable. Were ships sinking all the damn time? Like, what the fuck? Yeah, maybe it was just a problem. And yeah, they're like, this one won't.

Not this one. But yeah, there's a lot of funny irony in this. Billy Zane's character does a lot of just saying things that the modern audience knows is ironic Picasso. He'll be nobody Like it wouldn't be weird if he said like phones will always have cords It is it is pretty corny, but it is like a ton of fun. So they're on the ship. Kathy Bates is there, the unsinkable Molly Brown.

She's new money. She's great. She's pissing off the rich people. She's awesome. In 2024, the classism stuff hits even harder than it did when I was in church. Like, it just feels like weirdly topical. It's like so zeitgeist-y where it's like,

it crashes because it's opulent and people are too hubristic about everything. And it's like, guys, is this a metaphor for anything? Because a rich guy wanted to be in the newspaper. Like all of these people died. A rich asshole wanted to be in the newspaper. Which is considered famous for them. So if you say a rich person wanted to be famous, caused an irreparable damage.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Might be relatable to the modern, the modern audience, modern American society. So there were no Picasso's or de gas or anything like that on the Titanic. Oh interesting, I was gonna ask that. I found that very odd when I watched this movie because I thought, oh were there priceless pieces of art found in the ruins of the Titanic?

No, they never even were there. I don't know why he added that to be honest. I don't think it was necessary. To make it plausible that, you know, fucking Leonardo DiCaprio's titty cartoons would still be there. Yeah, well, or to make it plausible that she would be interested in his drawings. That she's a fan of art and that he's knowledgeable about art

and that Billy Zane doesn't give a fuck about her taste in art. But that's weird, because that's like saying, I like art, so I watch Hentai. Like it's kind of, you know, I don't know. Which actually, that's me. A beautiful analogy, a beautiful analogy. Yeah, I don't see anything actually wrong with what you just said.

Oh, fuck, I'm Jack Dawson. So yeah, speaking of Jack Dawson, we meet him playing poker. He's a rapscallion. He's a rambling man. And he wins tickets to the Titanic in a poker game with his friend, the most Italian man to ever live. I would say this is the John Gaber stuff.

The Fabrizio? Fabrizio. Ah, Jack. It is wild how long we don't see Fabrizio in the movie. I was like, didn't Leonardo DiCaprio have a little friend he brought with him? It is so like exactly what happens when you're on vacation with someone

and they hook up with someone. Yes. Yeah. Oh my God, you're so right. I felt for Fabrizio, I was like, I know that feeling, man. Yeah, Leo's like, I can't believe. Leo's like, yeah, we'll meet up at dinner, I'll see you at dinner, I'm just gonna go

and I'll see you at dinner. I gotta stop doing these fucking booze cruises with Jack. He's always getting pussies. Yeah, they just end up because they win a poker game getting tickets from someone else, which justifies the fact that there's no records of anyone named Jack Dawson on the boat. But then they go into the bunk room with a bunch of Germans who were like, what the fuck is, what are these guys? I like those guys do straight up say like, what happened to Sven? Yeah, exactly. I want a movie about Sven, like the day after.

The huge bullet dodge that he had. Wow. I think my lucky stars every day, it's a good thing I'm German and a war's not coming. People in England and America will always like me. I just see Sven dodging bullets for the rest of his life. It is fucking wild. Like on this viewing is when I remember,

like I realized that Leonardo Caprio won his tickets in a poker game and barely made it on. And it is this extra layer of like Deus Ex Machina of like, Sven, you don't know how important it was that you lost, brother. And it is this extra layer of like deus ex machina of like Sven You don't know how important it was that you lost brother Yeah But also it's like Leonardo DiCaprio almost survived like he if he had lasted maybe 30 more minutes I know that drives me fucking crazy It drives me fucking crazy too

And then James Cameron's like answer is like he had to die for Rose's story. And I'm like, I, you love science, sir. You're not Shakespeare. Fuck you. Like, you gotta give us more. Give us more, give us more. This man invented unobtanium. This man is Shakespeare. He's the modern Shakespeare.

God damn it. So yeah, we got our two main characters, our star-crossed lovers, Kate Winslet, she's super bummed that she's gotta go back to- She's engaged to Billy's age. To Cal Hocklin or whatever his name is. Did we ever see the ring, by the way? I like how you saw- Yeah, you see it.

She like points to it at one point. Unimpressed. So she's so forlorn about her future that she goes to the edge of the ship and she gets over the rail, looks like she's gonna jump, and Jack, who's Ken Ben kind of like staring at her this whole time, he like talks her out of it.

This scene where she's about to jump and he's like taking off his shoes to talk her out of it, darkly funny. I loved this scene. It's like, yeah, it is weirdly dark. There's a little comedy to it. There's also some great foreshadowing of like, well yeah, it's freezing cold.

It's like the cold is like, and they're like, if the- You talk about how cold the water is. If landing in the water doesn't instantly kill you, the water is so cold, you know? And they keep bringing up shit that we're gonna just watch play out in two hours and 58 minutes.

But we will get to see all this fucking drama. But somehow you just kinda, there's something about this movie that you know what's gonna happen, but your brain just chooses to forget it. In like the first half of the movie. Maybe they'll make it. Maybe they'll make it, even though I've seen it five times. In your brain you just go, maybe they'll make it.

Two part answer, two they'll make it. Two part answer, two part response to that. I think part of it is the length of the movie does let you kind of like, 50 first dates yourself a couple of times. But I think the power of the love story is so hard that you're like, maybe on this viewing, they make it. Right? And it's like, and you're like, maybe on this viewing, they make it. Right. Well, it's like and you and that's like the that's like your body,

like just telling you, like telling you like, no, anything is possible. Like, look, with the power of love, anything is possible. And then it's just like, oh, no, Jack's dead. Let me get the other part is that you're you're like, maybe the ship won't go down. There's another thing, like another love story where it's the love story for the ship itself. Because it's so beautiful. The more you keep seeing parts of it, you're like, this is so gorgeous.

How could this thing be destroyed? It seems so safe. They go to fucking church at one point in the movie, which is like, why are we, this is three hours long and you included church. I don't, we could have skipped that, I don't know. It is just like, the movie loves its historical details so much and it is weirdly infuriating in some ways,

but it is part of why this is such a special, weird movie and it's like, this was supposed to be a fucking bomb, this was supposed to be this huge money loser, everybody thought it was gonna be this huge bomb. No one wanted it to be this long. Cameron just swung his dick. He went out of pocket, right? Yeah, and then it became the biggest movie of all time.

And I think that is like, yeah, it is such a vision, and all those little meticulous, nitpicky, fucking history dork details. I think that's why people love it so much. It does have a little bit of like, when your 12 year old cousin just saw a movie and it runs you through like and then there was credits and then there was you know like and he kind of just tells you like and this is what happened and did

you know they had a church on board and then there was a guy who only wanted to drink brandy while it went down you know like yeah. Sir you're describing this podcast. And then the and then the woman puts the predator mark on her face because she's one of the tribe and she's one of the Predators and the predators only attack people who are armed Here's my Pokemon cards Do you think anyone plays Pokemon go at the Titanic ruins under the sea? Oh shit, I'm sure. I'm sure there's some fucking Squirtle freaks. There's a Squirtle.

There's one Squirtle you can only get if you go down with James Cameron. It's Foil, the Foil Squirtle, Foil hologram Squirtle at the bottom of the pumpkin. Just dancing on a child's skull. The AR really makes it look like the Pokemon is dancing on the skull. So anyway, Leo and Kate, they've got a real, you know, they're star-crossed lovers.

He's a rough-and-tumble guy. She's proper. He shows her his drawings. He has a sensitive side. He's a beautiful artist. She loves art. She brought on all those Picasso's that weren't really on the boat And he he shows her you know all his beautiful drawings including some some French

Prostitutes that he that posed nude for him Jack Loves of the fingers. He's a hand guy. Oh shit That means it's time for our sting. Yes the the one that we know where it is. There it is. Jack, he's a nasty hand freak. That's where he puts all his details. Boy, if anything could spell fuck boy, all of that is it. My favorite thing about Jack is like, OK, when I watched it, it's like go with Jack, be with Jack.

But after dating for 30 years, I'm like, oh, that guy will still leave you's like, go with Jack, be with Jack, but after dating for 30 years, I'm like, oh, that guy will still leave you. You will survive all of that? He had to die so that he wouldn't cheat on her. Because he would fuck boy her and then leave her in a tenement somewhere. I don't know who Rose ended up with, but her granddaughter is an absolute smoke shaman.

Gorgeous. So they did genetics right at least. She must have got herself a system. Yeah, my favorite thing about thinking about this though is like at the end you see she dies, sorry, spoiler alert. And then she finds Jack in the afterlife. What about that poor husband who she never told anything about and he's just alone in the afterlife?

That's a really funny observation. This guy who she had kids with and led this whole life with, it's like, eh, you know, I'm sorry. Yeah, and her whole family, her daughter is dead. She's just got a granddaughter. She's like, where the fuck is mom? She's like, I gotta go get finger blasted by this homeless man.

I love that. I gotta go, I'm the boss. In heaven, when the husband finally dies, he's just sitting at a TGI Fridays and just like, who the fuck is she? This is our favorite spot. Why didn't she say? She's a board of Titanic with people

she spent one day with. Yeah, like six, right? It's like five days or something, tops, right? Yeah, but also. That's where you spend attorney? That would be like me just ending up at like spring break, cancun. I mean, actually, wait a minute, heaven says so.

That sounds really good. I mean, come on. But also it's like maybe heaven is successfully poly. Maybe that's the only place where polyamory is drama free. Where it's like no drama, everybody knows, it's just part of the deal. Like, it's like, you know it's just part of the deal.

It's like, you know. Heaven is never having the process ever again. Ever, ever again. I feel like Heaven being kind of like a place where you can jump to different times in your life and be with those people again and relive great memories and also be like, all right, yeah, I'm 19 19 fucking that girl from out of town

rather than my wife of 40 years. But now I'm going to jump back. Now I'm with my wife on the beach on this vacay. Like jumping around like that would be pretty fucking. See, that's like what I hope heaven is, but I've also been to church and I know what kind of parties God likes. Like that's it. Church is not fun.

It's just you and 11 friends eating dinner and one of the guys keeps saying, hey, that's my body, be careful. Hey, that's my blood, enjoy. Wait a second, so wait, maybe Jack and Rosa are in hell. I might posit that because when I was watching this, the part where she is like, the survival part of this, right?

The speed part of this, where they're running for their lives and she's freezing in this water and almost dies. That's probably what I would remember from my voyage on the Titanic. Not the like, banging out I got in an old time jalopy. It would need to be almost dying stuff. So maybe Rose has to relive hell.

Like maybe she has to relive the worst thing that ever happened to her anyway. She's got to relive Titanic every time, like every day for like eternity. Spoiler, because she throws the heart of the ocean back into the ocean, God sends her to hell. Listen, we all sent her to hell that day. What's more infuriating, Leonardo DiCaprio

not getting on the door or her throwing away the necklace? Ugh. The most infuriating thing is the pre-marital sex that I would make you. Oh, I see. Finally, someone mentioned that sex is for the marriage bed, not the, not the, not the, The car? the sinful car,

the sinful jalopy. You got Jack Dawson, I guess he's ipso facto part of the pussy posse, so you just gotta be prepared. He's gonna get it in when he can get it in. I agree with Emily, he is an absolute fuck boy in this, like in the scene in which he's showing the art. All of the art is just women with big titties that he drew. As an adult watching this, I was like,

I know exactly what you're doing, Jack. You are a fuck boy to a T. When I was young, OK, also he was in Romeo and Juliet, which this movie does feel like a remix of the kind of tragic story kind of thing. But so, I don't know, I was falling for him immediately. But yeah, the drawings now, I was also like, I've seen dudes with better drawings,

these are not that good. And I would not have been on a press. They were kind of trash. They were kind of trash. They were kind of trash. But it was just, I don't know. It's like she saw a guy with skills for the first time. She went, a skill? Oh, everybody's old money.

I don't know, can do. Do something with your hands, fuck me. I can only imagine what her sex life is like with fucking Hocklin, if there's one at all And no not yet. I think more so than the drawings She was really attracted to and I'm not trying to be pedantic in a after a bit run But I do think like she was more attracted to his surprising worldliness that like she she her wealthy ass

worldliness. That like she, she, her wealthy ass fiance is not as worldly as like the street urchin. And I mean, that's like classic fucking bullshit storytelling. It works on, it worked on me big time. She's like, you've been to France. It's like, not only that, but I drew a one-legged sex worker while I was there. Oh yeah. I forgot that detail. And we don't see it. That's kind of a weird thing I noticed this time. I thought for sure we were gonna see the stump. I thought we were gonna see beef. I wanna see beef and stump. Dude, have you seen Titanic?

You see stump in that movie. Dude, you gotta see Titanic. You see stump in it. Yeah, okay, so I have a Mandela effect thing that me and my sister were talking about. I thought in the nude scene of Kate Winslet, you saw Bush. Right, but you see the barren stain bears. No, but you see an alive Mandela.

The barren stain Bush, yeah. The barren stain Bush. No, you don't see a Bush. I was like, I could have sworn I saw a Bush. I don't remember why. I think that's your brain autocompleting because I thought the same thing too. And then even when she dropped her robe in this,

I like imagined her bush. Like, I mean, that's more my issue than anything else. I'm like, we got a beautiful redhead dropping trout. I'm gonna picture that bush. It was like, and I just, in my brain, I was like, it wasn't red, because that's not a natural redhead, let's be fucking real.

Oh boy, oh boy. Let's be real, I'm not a natural redhead either. Anyway, so I imagined it as this beautiful, like glossy blonde pubic hair, and I just, I could have sworn that it was there, and that it wasn't there, and I was so sad, I don't know. Yeah, I think like this, the like nude scene in this movie like looms so large, you know, like when you saw it,

it's like, oh my God, like, and watching it like as an adult, who has now seen Nudity up close? Hey-o. Hey-o. That scene is really like sweet. It's like really, I think, I mean, it was such a perv out for me as a, you know, it's a 14 year old.

But like- Me too. Oh sure, totally. It's so hot. It's so hot. Yeah, it's crazy. But like it is really sweet and kind of restrained. And it's, yeah, I don't know.

It's sweet and kind of restrained. And on this viewing, I really picked up on, like, that she's feeling seen and being viewed as an object of art, something that she, like, is obsessed with is art, and now she's literally this guy that she's falling for is making her art. And, like, that is, if you are a fan of art, to become art yourself is, like, a wild thing,

and it's like she's fully bearing all, like he's drawing her soul. Like she's like going to be- Gabras, this is so beautiful. He dies, everything is ruined, but for some reason, this is a bridge too far for Uncle Gabras, the charcoal drawing in a safe survives. It's a really good safe.

Yeah. It was a safe that wasn't built by Irishmen. It's a good English safe. It's a good British safe. But it like- Yeah, the Picasso's didn't survive, but that's good. She'll live forever now. You know, like, just like Jack's a memory to her,

she can be a memory to like everybody. It's really fucking cool. And the fact that she confidently, I want you to draw me naked. I want to be, draw me like one of the French girls. She wants to be like that. And that's not something that Hockley will ever give her. Obviously the disaster shit in this

is filmed so meticulously and like You know done with such care, but like I feel like there's two other scenes in this movie that are just so lovingly shot it's this it's him drawing her and Them below deck with the like other third-class Irish people doing the dance that is like Again, that is way too long, but it is so fucking fun to watch. And I think it is because like, in like Cameron movies, he does really fetishize working class people, they're always the heroes,

and they're always kind of getting one over on the rich people. And yeah, you could kind of tell that there's just some shit in this movie that is so lovingly filmed that's not the disaster. And that was kind of interesting to see on this viewing of like, what are the other like big moments in this movie that aren't the ship sinking? I don't know, really cool.

Oh, I love it. And I think, you know, we get to see Leonardo do the drawing and be charming and all this stuff, but we're supposed to fall in love with Rose in that Irish dancing scene, and it works. She's not only gorgeous, moneyed beauty, but she is also a gal, a friend. She fucking is like, oh, you think arm wrestling's hard?

Here's barefoot ballet or whatever. She stands on her toes, she stands on her big toes, something for the foot freaks. Even the idea that she drinks. If you're a hand freak. Yeah, there's something in the movie. Why don't you try a handstand for me, sweetheart? Let's see you stand on those knuckles, those dirty knuckles. Yeah, she's like a pretty amazing character.

I don't feel like Jack Dawson changes at all. Like there's no arc for Jack, he's just Jack. But she has always been this person, but he kind of allows her to be the truest. Like the original. Yeah, he's her catalyst really. He's her fucking, oh what's the Manic Pixie Dream Boy? That's kind of her.

Yeah. Yeah. Poor artist Dream Boy. Manic Pixie Fuck Boy. Sure. The charcoal sketching. Manic Pixie. Oh my God, I... Manic Pixie fuckboys. Sure. The charcoal sketchin' shit head. Manic Pixie.

Oh my god, I just imagine getting finger by guy covered in charcoal fingers. Oh no. That's a UTI. Bad for the pH. Yeah. Bad for the pH. Although...

Charcoal over cheese doodles is much better. Maybe charcoal's good. Get yourself some ocean spray. That's right. It's like a Brita inside your pussy. Yeah. Yeah, charcoal's like a Brita. What? You're a Brita. What?

You're a pussy man. Oh my god. Yeah, you put it in there, it turns into a heart of the ocean diamond in about two days. One last thing about the Irish dancing sequence. You know you're watching a movie that's being acted by absolute amazing actors and directed by an absolutely capable director when Rose taking a sip of beer from

a pint glass is so fucking weighty. It's like the way he looks at her, the way she goes like, yeah, I can do this shit too. And the way it's directed, it's like, what a, what a, like, it's not a meet-c's like, what a meat, like it's not a meat cube, but what a way to like fall for a woman is just like, and at the time I'm sure that's even crazier that even like poor women probably didn't drink

swing beer out of a glass, you know? And it just shows her again, totally naked to him. And it's like this like awesome moment where I can't believe the weight this little swig and like he looks at her and she's like fucking deal bro this is me now it's so much fun it's such a cool small moment yeah so they they you know he draws her in the thing they fucking the old jalopy do you think that's just how Jay Leno has sex all the time probably why he's covered in bruises steam powered excellent I think he fucks on top of his tonight show money.

That's why he won't spend it. You guys, I really hope that it, I love, okay, Auga is perfect for this sex scene. I just want to point it out. There should be a little comedy moment where they lean on the horn and it goes. Well, he does honk it before she drags him into the thing. What I love about the sex scene is how they allow her to be sweaty and kind of like she's definitely unkempt,

like that kind of thing. Yeah, sure. But also I watch that sex scene as porn. Like it's, you don't see much, you don't see much, but it's just the chemistry between them is so hot and then the condensation. That is such a beautiful touch, like the handprint condensation thing.

That's great. Like that is not in the annals of Titanic history. That is not like, that's just Cameron just making a cool fucking choice of like, or on the day noticing the window keeps getting fogged up or whatever. Well, the other, oh, that's true. But the other thing is like, they fuck,

and then he's so blown away by the fuck that he's like shaking. Yeah, sure. And it's like, her mind was probably pretty blown, but his mind was super blown from the whole thing. And it's like, all right, badass, I love that. Well, yeah, okay, so I think we've gone over kind of all the big kind of romance moments.

We don't wanna talk about the church? Oh, do you have any thoughts on the church other than it's a wacko little detail? There's a woman with a giant hat there. I just wanna like give a shout out to Jesus Christ. Thank you for allowing this movie To happen. Thank you for sinking the original ship so that this movie could exist Jesus We know you were the man that it was worth all the death. It was pretty Sinful Irishman on the sixth day he created ice Abolish ice.

The other, It's sinking all our boats. The church detail to me is again, like I think showing hubris and also keep reminding us of like, this is the stuff they thought of. Not enough lifeboats for everyone, but enough vests for everybody. But they thought of a chapel,

they thought of a room that can store your art, they thought of like all these grand staircases and stuff, but like a lot of specific details were not. Well, for me it was, here's all this glamor and glitz and almost like hedonism, like of just fabulous clothes, fabulous food, all this stuff. And then it reminds you that rich people life is boring and awful.

And I felt like as soon as I heard the church singing, I went, ugh, fuck. Like just, I immediately was like, oh God. Boring worst music, yeah. Yeah, you have to. It's boring, worst music, yeah. Yeah, you have to keep up appearances as a rich person and be polite and go to church and do all this stuff and it's like, meanwhile, I think the people below deck are like, all right, we thank God for this piece of fish.

All right, it's just kinda, you know. But yeah, so I just. Everybody grab your penny whistles. Shut up. Everyone grab your penny whistles Everyone take your penny whistles out of your vaginas and let's start playing. I'm gonna need a minute. Could someone spit in my hand? Get those whistles in those mouths What's that whistle? And don't neglect the bells. I guess they have bells too. Yeah, sure. Okay, so that's kind of like the romance subplot of the movie.

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["Titanic"] Oh, we're back. It's Free With Ads. We're here with John Gabras from High and Mighty. We're talking about Titanic. So it hits an iceberg, guys, did you know that? Ship hits the fan. Yeah. Oh.

Yes. Fuck. That's so good, propeller callback in a way. Sure, yes, what is a propeller but a giant fan? This is beautiful. That's right. Oh, sure. This is a good podcast, it's really good. Yeah.

Very good show. Sounds like you're a fan of the podcast. Whoa! So, yeah, Titanic hits the iceberg. It starts a-sinking. Okay. Another detail McKenna told me from the, which stuck with me, was they did have Morse code on the boat and they were being Morse, like coded a telegraph about icebergs, but it could only go one way.

Like, and it was busy with like rich people sending telegraphs to like New York and stuff like that. They were trying to send, like, they were like, stop gumming up the line. Mr. Johnson needs to tell, buy, sell, sell, buy or whatever, you know, like, But it's also, God damn it. Why, why don't they have a telescope also? Why is it? And also one pair of binoculars. We got one that this is wild to me. I feel like the crow's nest even in Peter Pan fictional cartoons, there's a telescope in the crow's nest

these two guys are just two white guys raw dog and eyesight in the like it's it's and apparently when they saw the iceberg it was only 1,500 feet in front of them is when they noticed it yeah like that's crazy you are nearsighted Joe Bob or whatever your name is that a name that you would call a guy in 1912? Yeah, he's probably Joe Bob. Derrickson? I don't know. Is that good? Let me try. Joe Bob Derrickson. I love that we're Monday morning quarterbacking the Titanic sinking. More like Mark Wahlberg if I was on that shit

Your one fucking job you're up in the crow's nest If you can't find a pair of binoculars go find other ones, I bet there's a child with them I don't know, but I bet you like six wealthy people have a bowl. No one can sink it That's the whole everyone just assumed it was unsinkable. Well then, why did they even need jobs in the first place? Amazing question, probably union rules. Yeah, I'm sure. Let's blame the unions, let's do that. Thank you. Yeah, you know, I've been wanting,

I was waiting for a tangent to get into this. Here's some bad takes I've got. Okay, no, nevermind. So this kind of like kicks off a big chase with Billy Zane. They lock up Jack in like the, you know, in the like prisoner room. There's a big gunfight. There's a really, so she kind of rejects a lifeboat

so she can go save him. And yeah, as Emily said- That pissed me off on this viewing more than ever. Oh yeah. Really? Yeah, and I don't, and like I understand it, like to me, I'm like, I was watching with my wife and I said, you stay on that fucking lifeboat in this situation.

Well no, she's got two lifeboat situations. The first one is her mom and Molly Brown going, get on the lifeboat, get on it, and then she runs, spits in his fucking face, and then- I'd rather be his whore than your wife. And then the other one is when they try to hit her on the... That's the one that pissed me off more, because... She's on the boat, and then she jumps off,

because Jack is in the boat. Yeah, and Jack, I literally turn to my wife, and I'm like, if any allegory, anything remotely echoing this is ever happening, get on the fucking lifeboat. I will find you. We are either both gonna die or just I'm gonna die. Like coin flip, one is objectively better than the other.

They both suck for me. But what if she wants to watch you die? Oh, well. Great point, great point. Some people are into that. She can come in here right now. It's been a hard year. See it right fucking now.

Trigger warning. Gabris, you're using your final day to do a podcast with us. Oh my gosh. Oh, this is my second podcast of the day. Oh shit. Might be part of the do you want to plug the GoFundMe for your funeral bills?

Yeah, so this is the second lifeboat that you reject. Yeah. What is yes, what is a podcast, but a lifeboat you listen to? Yes. Yes. Yes. Have you ever seen the movie Lifeboat bite just while we're talking about it I have it might be free with ads somewhere as good as blood diamond, which I've not as seen It's not as good. It's I mean, it's nothing as good as blood diamond It's an Alfred Hitchcock movie that takes place entirely on a lifeboat. Whoa It's really cool. Yeah, I enjoyed it thoroughly

How many now are there a. I wanna see it. Yeah, I enjoyed it thoroughly. How many now? Are there a bunch of tits in it? Yeah. Are there bush? Do they show bush in lifeboats? Yeah, silky golden bush. A running joke we used to have in high school, and it might have been quoting something else,

but we would say it all the time about movies. Great flick, tits, no bush. Like... We might have been quoting like a friend's dad even, but we would always say that in reference to like, great picture, tits, no bush. You're talking about Schindler's List, right? The list got Bush, baby. The list got Bush, baby, trust me.

Yeah, it's got both. Oh, what? My boy Oscar, he saw Bush? Oh yeah, there's some titties in that movie. Whoa. I'm trying to think of movies where they do show Bush. She didn't look blessed. First Resident Evil.

Really? Yeah. I know I've seen Bush in movies and it made me feel like it was okay to have one. And then the media told me otherwise. Killer Joe shows Gina Gershon's Bush. And she answers the door, and this is the best part, she answers the door in a shirt, no bottoms.

What a way to show Bush. We are. Excuse me, I have a laptop to shut and a movie to watch. I know. This podcast, Mr. Gaber, is a Gina Gershon, like, lover's podcast. Have we seen Killer Joe here? I have, yes.

It's fucking crazy. Is McConaughey in this movie? Yes. I've seen it too. I don't know why I don't remember the bush. Here, let me see if this reminds you of anything. McConaughey at one point holds a chicken wing out of his zipper and Junotemple, right?

Who's like the young one? Or is it Junotemple? Yeah, Junotemple's the young one, but Gina Garshon is who he makes suck it. Yeah, makes him suck a chicken wing that's out of his. It's written by the guy who wrote August Osage County and who played Pally's dad on Peacock, whose name is escaping him.

Yeah, he's a brilliant playwright. and you can tell when you watch this movie It's meant to be a play It's wild so anyway, we're at the point in Titanic where Played by Tracy Letts directed by William Friedkin totally forgot about that And then I just to quickly confirm Lifeboat is written is directed by Hitchcock based on I think a play or a story written by Steinbeck So it's like Wow Starring Tallulah Bankhead. It's it's got everything you want. Okay

So where are we in Titanic? Speaking of lifeboats, there's not enough of them on the old Titanic. Victor Garber is so fucking good in this movie. Which one is he? Is he the captain? No, he's the guy who oversaw the building of it, but didn't ideate it. Yeah, he's the best. He's in so much stuff.

He's so good, he's so powerful in that moment when he grabs Rose, he goes, do you remember what I told you earlier about the life jackets and like whatever, you know, like, cause they were like, well, that many lifeboats, but there's over and Victor Garber's like, mm-hmm. And then- It's funny, Kate Witz was like, I did the math.

It's funny that she, there's a scene of her like doing an equation about the lifeboats. Yeah. Well, I also love Billy Zane's character, like looking at her while this guy It's funny that there's a scene of her doing an equation about the lifeboats. Well, I also love Billy Zane's character looking at her while this guy who pretty much is the creator of the Titanic is telling her, we've spoken about the ins and outs of this entire ship and he's like, she can read?

Like, he's just like, blown away by the fact that he's talking to her instead of him. He's violently angry that his future wife can do math. Yeah. Yeah. I love I love that Victor Garber character so much. He ends with the like staring at the clock and fixing the time on the clock based on his watch. Such a cool fucking moment.

And especially juxtaposed with the guy who did ideate the Titanic, whose jumps on the lifeboat and is kind of like looking away like, nope, I won't make eye contact with any of the police officers because I can't have them know that I am not going down with the ship. Yeah, it's so fucking cool. Yeah.

Yeah, this whole section of the movie is so filled with those great character actors just doing these little parts. And we don't get a ton of backstory for these guys, but yeah, it's all these little great performances and these little great moments. They feel very robust and fleshed out, even though the movie's not really about them.

Yeah, but can we talk about the action sequence of her getting him out of that basement and then going up and going down again and going up and going down. It's so stressful. There's a great little moment that I had totally forgotten about where he's handcuffed and she has this axe

and he's like, take a couple of practice swings and she like hits this dresser and then can't hit the spot again. It's so funny that they take a minute to do that comedy bit. I really liked it. Where he goes, that's enough practice. Yeah.

It's such a funny kind of yuck yuck. It's like a joke out of a goofier movie. It's like something from Demolition Man or something. It's really fun. Well, that's why it felt like an action movie. As soon as this was happening, it was like, okay, I'm not feeling a ton of dread. I'm feeling hopeful.

These people are in it to win it. I know that they're smart and I like them a lot together. Like, it's fun. Emily, what you're saying, it's like almost off of the idea that I'm just happy they're together, even if they don't make it off this boat. The fact that she's back with him and they're trying together. Now, Jomo, we are both big fans of swimming. Now, would you go to like an experience where you got to swim through a building full of water? Like I think like swimming in and out of rooms where it may be the water's not full up and

where you can drown but like the idea of swimming down a hallway seems so fucking cool. Gabris, I thought about that constantly. See, I said it to Tiffany. She's like, you're so weird. I'm like, no, because I also watched Poseidon Adventure again this year for New Year's. By the way, great New Year's Eve movie. They do the countdown.

You can time it up and watch. The ship starts crash. The ship gets capsized during the midnight hour. So you can watch it at 11.58 or whatever. It's so perfect. But during that, I was like, oh, I would love to swim through a room. And I kept saying to Tiffany,

and she was like, you are fucking crazy. And I'm like, especially as an actor, being on that set, I'd be like, hold on, let me just fucking swim underneath this. That seems so fucking cool. And like, there's so many like, this movie like has these big loud moments, but it also has these little moments of quiet dread. You just see these rooms filling up with water with nobody in them. And that's when you're like, oh, I would love to just like stand on that table and dive

in anyway. Yes. But yeah, those are the- Great. Speaking of tiny moments filled with dread, great moment when when Jack is like, Jesus Christ, this is bad. This is bad news. And then water comes under the door by God for the first time. And he's like, he had just declared that this is bad news and didn't even know about the water coming in. Yeah. Well, OK, so the tiny moment of dread for me is when

you know, Rose finds him and he's like, go get help because they can't seem to figure out a way to, so she's got to run back up, go to the next deck up, and she's asking for help, screaming for help. There's some guy who tries to drag her away and she punches him in the face. And then she uses the hose to break, well, before she uses the hose to break into a thing

to get an axe out of the fire thing, the lights go out. The power goes out in the hallway. And she can't see anything. And she's like, oh fuck, oh fuck. You can feel her panicking. You're like, oh no, this is bad. And then the lights come back on

and she just jumps into action. It worked on me too. It's already such a stress. It was scary. And there's sparks, they're going to get electrocuted. Later on, later on when the ship is actually sinking and then the lights finally go out, I'm like, Whoa, now it's really scary. Like it's like so funny that you're like, we are on an inevitable path to death and destruction.

But the second the lights go out, you like Oh, no, it's also dark Super scary, but yeah that moment there might be it follows in there Gorgons, I love when I love we saw her earlier drop like that hot satin robe to expose her full nude body We get like a weird callback to it when she drops her jacket off to swim for Jack Which is kind of weird she like drops a layer and dives in and it's like now she needs to be ready to like rescue Yeah, that also sets up getting Billy Zane's jacket, too Yeah, so so so you know there's a big chase going on. We see all these kind of little moments

with people who are like resigned to death. Like you see the guy we mentioned who like wants to just drink bourbon while it goes down. You see the band who keeps playing even though the boat's sinking. That'd be fucking me, bro. I'd be podcasting as the ship was going down. I'd be talking about Alien versus Predator

as the ship's sailing. Shout out to Athletic Green's promo code. My glug glug glug glug glug glug glug. I'd be selling fucking Casper mattresses. Gentlemen, it was a pleasure to riff with you. Yes, yes. I have a clip of- We might go on a few tangents.

Oh no, maybe me undies or going under. Sorry. Just drowning, doing a Sherry's berries ad read. Ah! I have a clip of the music scene. We have Mack Weldon now. No, me undies. Oh.

Ah. I just want to play a clip of the music scene, because I do find it to be one of the most touching moments of the movie. So I just love it a lot. Yeah. moments of the movie so I just love it a lot. I did a Godzilla remix. There it is.

Yay! Godzilla remix. There it is. Yay, Godzilla remix. Gabris, this is a running joke on the show where Matt puts Godzilla in the things. It's really funny. People like it. Fans like it. I'm picking up on that a little bit. You're like, yeah, these are like running bits. Again, not to be pedantic right after a bit, but the sound mix on the violin and the footsteps and screaming in the background is fucking incredible It translates just audio only like any right that got me that was like triggering. Yeah, so heavy. It was a

wonderful playing with you gentlemen So the ship goes down roses in the water she's floating on a door Before we before we get there a little bit more going on I just want to run through a couple of those character actor vignettes we discussed. Oh, yeah, sure. Also, fun thing to watch if this is inspiring you to rewatch Titanic, watch the extras for the back half of the movie. They can't really just run and leap off the side of the boat. So they run over to the railing, like, look, run down, look over the railing again,

grab a tube, look over. They don't, you know when they're told to the railing, like, look, run down, look over the railing again, grab a tube, look over. Like they don't, you know, when they're told to like, look frantic and busy, like as someone who's been an extra, you understand. And then you watch this and it's like, that is kind of realistic though. I wouldn't know what the fuck to do. I'd be like running back and forth like,

when are we letting boys on the boat? Well, so, okay, speaking of like stuff like that, I like, okay, this is the physics part, all right? Yes, oh, whoa. Well, so, okay, speaking of stuff like that, okay, this is the physics part, all right? Oh, hell yeah. This is the moment where Emily, who went to college in Arkansas, talks about physics. Why wouldn't you just jump off the side of the boat like before it broke in half? Before it broke in half, and you just go off the side of the boat, like before it broke in half,

before it broke in half, and you just go off the side of the boat, you go let's find a door or whatever, or make a fucking raft, like make a makeshift situation. I feel like that's what I would have done. Do you think the suction would suck you down more that way, or when the whole thing goes down and you're hanging out at the very tip? I love that they're at the very tippy tip of the, of the ship too.

That feels like it rules. Not the best place to be. I don't know. Yeah, they're just in their situation. Yeah. In their situation, I think it makes sense and it's quick thinking by Jack, but off, off what you're saying, Emily is I think also a biology question, because I think if you get in that water any earlier, you're frozen until you can.

Yeah, that's true. And I looked it up and it said, OK, so when shit went down, I guess they said it would take four hours for help to arrive. Right. And they were saying in the movie that the ship was going to sink in an hour. But in truth, the ship sunk in two hours and 40 minutes, which means that Jack Dawson could've just held on for an hour and 20 minutes. For half the length of this movie. Yeah, and he could've lived.

I just, okay, here are some, this is a biology question. What if you played little pool games and like swam around a little bit, kept yourself warm? Marco Polo, take your mind off it. Marco Polo, that'd be kind of messed up. Be like, that's a dead body, come over here, sorry. All the more reason to cold plunge, baby. Prepare your body. Thank you Rogan and Huberman.

Do you think it's insensitive to the survivors of the Titanic that cold plunging is a thing now. Yeah, I think that's why they invented it. They'd be like, this would be a funny troll. That's why Irish people won't do it. Let's run through some of these character actors. We mentioned the unaliving yourself trigger warning earlier. That moment is heavy. Even before he does it, it's really heavy that he doesn't want to shoot anyone and has to.

Then there's the moment where Mr. Fantastic slash Lancelot from the Clive Owen King Arthur, I think his name is like Ione Griffin or something like that. He's playing another one of the officers. He points the gun at someone and then turns around and puts bullets in it. He was pointing an unloaded gun, but then he realized he's gotta step it up.

That's a heavy moment. Garber fixing the clock, the creator of it just staring away as someone watches him go down. Jack's Irish buddy getting the fucking shot in the chest. Fabricio trying to do the cutting. A whole pipe falls on him. He's back. He's back.

I was like, oh, it's that guy. He runs into Jack downstairs, which is, we kind of skipped over it, but Jack and Rose meet up with the poor people in Steerage and they are being locked downstairs, which is fucking crazy. Now, I would almost justify the wealthy for locking them if it wasn't great doors.

Like if they were like, this will stop water, I would go, okay, fine, it sucks to be in steerage, but if they think that's gonna stop water from going somewhere. But to lock gates that water's gonna go through anyway feels fucking crazy. Yeah, it's like the gate that you use to keep babies from going out of the kitchen or something right it's not even like it's not a good gate right if we don't lock

this gate they'll all fall in the pool yeah exactly the dog will get on the couch otherwise exactly i love that moment when they they rip the bench up and Rose is like get out of the way. She's on board with this fucking battering ram shit Like it's so exciting running through there. She's such a badass. I just think that this proves the Irish are the babies of Europe Well, I want to say one thing about Rose one of the coolest parts Okay, so she takes, when she has to go save Jack and she takes the coat off, it's like, okay, you're wearing a dress. It's gonna be hard to swim and hold this ax to get there.

And she like does this thing where she like monkey bars the pipes on the ceiling. And it's so cool. I don't know, I just loved the choreography of her getting there by grabbing onto pipes and like pulling herself there. So fucking cool. Very, very action movie. I feel like she's... Yeah. It's awesome. And she's an action star, I think. That's technically physics as well. Not to... Oh, I love physics. We've heard.

I also would say that isn't falling in love kind of a physics too? Oh, shit. I don't get that. Falling in love is a little faster than. Oh, I get it now. What is it, 8.2 meters per second squared, whatever gravity is.

The other thing I love is the preacher who's kind of given that last sermon as they've wrapped it like slowly turned vertical. I couldn't stop looking at his fucked up teeth. I'm gonna be real. He was, he had this, sorry. He had this like the front teeth. It was like one tooth completely overlapping

the other front tooth. And I'm like, all right, I feel like we gotta, you gotta do something about that one. The bottom teeth, you let him go. Well, it's a little late now, Emily. Well, yeah, I know, but I'm just saying, bottom teeth can be a crooked, weird mess, but if you're an actor, come on, y'all.

When they all meet in heaven, his teeth will be perfect. When they all meet. Or hell, they'll be worse. Or hell, wherever they end up. I don't know, God made him born like that. This isn't a pre-Every Actor having veneers era too, so I'm happy with fucked up things. This ain't veneers, man. This is just like.

No, no, I know it's not veneers. Space them out. Just space them out a little bit, okay? I love crooked naturals. Give me crooked naturals. Especially in the early 20th century. And then last little vignette I wanna mention is the lady who's hanging from the pole

and Rose makes eye contact with her and then she just lets go and it's like and we're about to hear never let go like right after This like it's like it's a great fucking moment. Oh, that was so sad I also like of course propeller guy Propeller hat that goes we're crashing Also very my diaper I We're crashing. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Well. Three stooges here. I also very. I peeped in my diaper. I very much remember the Academy Awards

that year and Billy Crystal hosted and the intro where he like does a thing where he's inserted into inserted. What the fuck? Inserted into like every movie as like a little bit part. He was the guy in the white. You know what's oh God. It was like a chef safety jacket. What am I thinking of life jacket like they call them. They call them life belts in the movie. Oh yeah. So and he's one of the only other people besides Rose and Jack that got

on the other side. Yeah. Of the railing and they're just looking at each other and he's one of the only other people besides Rose and Jack that got on the other side of the railing and they're just looking at each other and he's like perched there and then nothing else happens. He's like drinking from a flask and stuff. I'm not sure if he's the chef or what his deal is. I like to think that he's like, I know that being at the tip here, there's going to be a lot of suction. I'm going to see if the ocean, if I can get my dick sucked by the Titanic.

But go out the way. Yeah, he was, uh, they had him implanted into the movie scene. Billy Crystal as that guy. And the propeller guy thing was like in the bit like that to everyone in 96 or 97, whenever this movie came out Propeller guy was a funny moment I remember in the theaters people laughing oh yeah yeah I saw it like three times in theaters got a laugh every single time it was kind of just so shocking that you're like what like the ultimate pratfall

you gotta laugh if you're not gonna laugh, you're gonna cry. That's right. Mm-hmm. And Kathy Bates, the Unsinkable Molly Brown gets a great hero moment in the end too. She does. Where she's trying to get the boats to go back. Well, I actually had a little bit

to talk about Unsinkable Molly Brown. Of course. Okay, so she was born in Hannibal, Missouri, which is where one half of my grandparents are from, and so I spent a lot of born in Hannibal, Missouri, which is where one half of my grandparents are from. And so I spent a lot of time in Hannibal. It's where Mark Twain is also from. And she has like a little, there's a little house, like her childhood home that you can

walk around in, which I've done. But she, I guess, did a fuck ton of shit for Titanic. She did help people get onto the lifeboats before getting on herself. Like she people had to basically force her onto a lifeboat. And then afterwards, she organized like a committee of first class survivors to help second and third class survivors get necessities that they needed. She's the fucking shit. Love her.

That's awesome. And then she broke James Kahn's legs. Yeah, made him write more books. Yeah, but I kind of wish that we had more of her character in the movie. Also, okay, I have this Wikipedia thing open that I'd like to read from. There were animals aboard the Titanic. Not like a ton or whatever, but there were dogs, cats, chickens, other birds, and an unknown number

of rats. Three of 12 dogs in the Titanic survived. All of the other animals presumably died. Wait, so dogs got on the lifeboats? I guess so. Or they ended up in the water and found a whistle. Women and children first, then dogs, then men. Then the chickens. Then the Irish. Yes. All your puppers, all your little, all your floofs, all your dog.

So I wanted we love cats on this podcast, Gabris. So here's some cat stuff. They had their own official cat named Jenny on the Titanic, who was the like like a mascot or like unofficial mascot and was there to get rid of mice and rats and vermin. RIP Jenny. RIP Jenny. Yeah.

Well, so a bunch of cats died and then Rose and Jack, they're floating around out there. She's on the door. Is it big enough for two people? We'll never know. But he slides out into the water and she swims out to get a whistle, and she's like the one survivor in the ocean of dead people. We get a couple of close-ups of some frozen babies,

and then we go back. Oh, I didn't see that part. Oh, yeah, there's some good frozen babies. Were they cute? You know what? they were pretty cute. I think if they survived, they would've been real cuties. Real adorable. Well, if they weren't cute, then like,

fuck those babies, am I right? Ew, thank you. I'm sorry, no, no, no. All babies are beautiful. Of course. Yeah, and then we kinda go back to her telling the story to Bill Paxton and co I like it that there's a couple times when they go back to the Bill Paxton storyline where they have changed clothes

I like that like the movie is long, but her story apparently took several days to tell them I believe that Anyway, you know how much old ladies need to shit Like I like I've I've had grandmas. I know that there's diaper changes. Oh, yeah. And she has to and she has to she has to go at eight p.m. when CSI starts. Yeah, they got to go down. They got to go sleep. They got to take shits.

And then she throws the necklace overboard. It's infuriating. Why didn't she just sell it and give it to charity? But whatever, it's an emotional moment in the movie. Yes. I have, okay. Number one, that coat that she's wearing throughout the adventure part of this whole back after the movie,

the necklace is in a pocket in a coat, and they are swimming through rushing water and stuff, and somehow this necklace stayed in a coat and they are like swimming through rushing water and stuff and somehow this necklace stayed in a coat. I lose necklaces from pockets all the time. They are like, I just don't believe that that's a hell of a pocket in that coat. But also by how did she keep her children and people from finding this necklace? I went through all of my mom's shit all the time. When I was a kid and a teenager,

I tried on every piece of jewelry she ever had. One time I went through, there was a shoe box that said pink suede on it, and I thought they were shoes, that it was a vibrator, and then it was a little bottle of lube and then there was a bag and it looked like I don't know dirt or something and it smelt bad and later I found out that was weed and and I just held that over my parents head in case I ever got in trouble and then I go you have weed and

vibrators you're bad too. Ugh. Like, you know what I'm saying? You go under the bed, you find the heart of the ocean next to the vibrator. Yes, I would have, if I, I would have found that fucking thing, I would have found it. Like, it's, it blows my mind that no one

in her family found that shit. I don't get it, I don't get it. Anyway. Mrs. Fleming, I wasn't familiar with your game. Yeah, it's just a vibrator and weed in the heart of the ocean in a box that says pink suede. My mom is gonna kill me. Oh god.

That is Titanic. We're gonna rank the movie, but first we're gonna do our hit segment, Hunk Watch. This is the segment where we go around and talk about who we think the hunk of the movie is. This is the segment where we go around and talk about who we think the hunk of the movie is I've got a dark horse hunk who I think we didn't talk a ton about While we were talking about the movie, but I really noticed this person on this rewatch roses mom Anybody else? Rose's mom

Very beautiful. It's yes. I mean frances fisher. Uh, she is a great character actress and also has great politics. So I follow her online. Oh, does she? Oh, that's great. Fantastic politics. Oh, that's cool. Yes, we stan a woke hunk. Yes.

And there's this, I think there's a really wonderful scene where she's like, you know, talking about the pitfalls of being a woman and what women must do to get ahead in life. She's like, she's simping up Rose's course and she's like, she's like, she's like, you know, talking about the pitfalls of being a woman and what women must do to get ahead in life. She's like, she's simping up Rose's corset. Such a cool scene. And she says, yeah, it's great. It's super like, super well written, great, wonderful acting. She says, a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. Emily, is that true? Not, I mean, I talk about getting fingered and I fucked a toothbrush holder,

so I don't think I have a lot of them. Maybe a pond of secrets, maybe a pond of secrets or a water fountain. A symbol of secrets. A crick! I got a crick! But no, I think that I love that scene, too. The mom was a lot more sympathetic this watch around. Oh, I kind of hated her more or I noticed her on this watch. I just kind of understood her

because I see Jack Dawson as a fuck boy now. So I just, when her mom was like, your father left us a bunch of debts and a man fucked us over. The man who was supposed to love both of us fucked us over. So it's, supposed to love both of us fucked us over. So it's, why don't you be with this horrible man and I guess maybe this will turn out different,

I don't know. But we don't have a choice and she's like, but Rose goes, it's so unfair and she's like, this is what the life of a woman is in 1912. And it's like, it's true. But she's trying to be kind to her daughter, I think. She's trying, but she's not succeeding. But you know.

Gaber, you got a hunk of the movie? Yeah, I probably have to go with Rose's granddaughter on the boats. Oh yeah. Suzy Amis. Gorgeous. Yeah, she gave her daughter is Suzy Amis. Gorgeous. Yeah, she gave her daughter a better life than she had, yes. So many more opportunities, yes.

The opportunities. She's absolutely beautiful. And I believe James Cameron married her. And I don't know if it was like she was his wife when she made the movie or whatever, but she also has the same kind of SoCal blonde hair that Catherine Pigalow. Who is James Cameron? So you're like, oh, okay pal, we all got a type.

Jimmy's got a type. They have hair that looks like they go in the water, which I think is probably important for Jimmy C, the vegan oceanographer. Emily, you take this home, I'll go to Matt next. Matt, did you have a hunk? My hunk of the movie is, I think, obvious. You guys all picked great ones.

My hunk of the movie, The Iceberg. The Iceberg to me. It is a total- Unliteral hunk. More of a chunk than a hunk. Yeah, okay. That's a hunky chunk though. I love that iceberg because it's like, you look at it from the sea and you're like,

ah, that's just a little guy. But then what you don't see under it is this massive hog that it has. Hell yeah. It's straight from donk a donk. And that's what like pokes holes into the side of the Titanic and Yeah, you know and it's also

Like a penny whistle, it's the movie's only Jew Iceberg yeah, it's kind of like You never heard that, bitch? This is fun. This is fun. This is good and fun. Yes. Emily, I think we're all dying to hear. Who do you think the hunk of Titanic is?

It is Bill Paxton and that earring, baby. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, Bill Paxton is so beautiful. I love him so much. I forgot he was even in this movie. Me too. I just I totally forgot about the whole you know story of the people looking for the heart

of the ocean. I just I remember the old lady you know but I didn't remember everyone else and god Bill Paxton is so beautiful and I don't know this hippie shaggy little hair thing and then the little earring, I just wanna suck that ear. I wanna suck that earring off of that ear and I wanna choke on it. Beautiful. I mean it, I really mean it. A love story as beautiful as this one.

Okay, we're gonna rank Titanic on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials when we come back. We're back. It's Rewith, we're here with John Gabris, we're gonna rank Titanic on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials. John Gabris, you are our guest, you were kind enough to join us for this. We're gonna start with you and hey, something we learned during the break, you have a little Bill Paxton earring. Indeed I do, I got it way late in life, it was part of my midlife crisis.

Talk about honk Watch over here. Yeah, and I get a lot of compliments on it, which is crazy. I think it's just kind of a surprise for all the rest of my look to have a tiny little gold hoop. It throws people away. Scale of one to 10, I'm just ranking. Yeah, one to 10 super loud commercials.

You got to pay to watch this. Oh, okay, yeah. I mean, if you're looking at a three and a half hour movie that's free with ads, you're easily in the ten Super Loud commercial department, just on length. But I would sit through, I would sit through the head-on commercial 25 times, just to watch Titanic again.

Are you giving this a 25 out of 10? I'm gonna stay, I don't want to shatter the system here, but I'm going to go with nine and a half super loud commercials. Nine and a half super loud commercials. A truly fucking awesome movie. It is. Yeah. Emily, we'll let you have the final word

as the biggest Titanic fan in the house. Matt Lieb, what do you think? One to 10. I'm giving this a nine. I'm giving this a nine. It's truly a great movie and you know what? I would have given it a 10, but it's already gotten every award and all of the money.

So it doesn't need my 10. I'm saving my 10 for something that matters, like Thumbelina or some shit. I guess, Thumbelina, the Titanic of its time, truly. Oh God. Yeah, I'll weigh in. It's a 10 for me, it's fucking Titanic. It's fucking Titanic, it's great.

Tippy 10. It's a 10. Emily, final word, Titanic. Tippy, Tippy Tippy 10, all the way. Wow. Emily, final word. Titanic. Tippy, tippy, tippy, 10. All the way. Wow. I love this movie. And honestly, I was kind of dreading watching it

because I haven't seen it in a long, long time. And I know it's sad. I knew it was gonna make me cry. But the movie moves in a way where it is, you can't get enough of it. It's the small moments and the nuggets and the action at the end. It's just, you can't look away.

I wanna watch it all over again. I'm so glad that we did this. I'm so glad we did this. It has all these little dumb moments in it, but the dumb is really fun. It's really fun and it's really sincere. And yeah, you can tell it's a passion project from everybody involved.

You can tell people loved making it and wanted to make it. And it was, yeah, a labor of love. You can really see it up there. Hey, that's Titanic. John Gabras, thank you so fucking much for joining us for this. Yeah! You host many podcasts, High and Mighty,

a goddamn classic and essential podcast. You have so many cool people on there. You get high, you talk about something they love. We have, Joe Mo has been on a couple of times. We gotta get M. Flem on there shortly. Yeah, I got the High and Mighty is just a chat show for free wherever you get your podcasts podcast wherever you're listening to this And then also I have action boys, which is a patreon podcast

So it's behind a paywall and I understand if you're listening to a free podcast about free movies You might not want to throw out the five to ten dollars a month. So lucky for you. We have Unpay walled like a dozen or so episodes at free.actionboys.biz. So you can go over there and get a sniff and get addicted, get hooked. Your first hit is free, baby. Yeah, snort it right up your little ear holes. Also, if you go to gino.gabris.com,

I am releasing a physical media cassette tape, which is really a USB drive, but it looks like a cassette tape, all with a case, a hard case, an art, and all of that, a J-fold fold-out thing, of all 30 episodes of The Gino Lombardo Show, a series I made for Stitcher Premium and then fought with my lawyers for two years

to get the rights back. And now I have it. So you can get all 30 episodes on one drive. Just go to gino.gabris.com. Hell yeah, John Gabris, one of the funniest people alive. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, yeah, over here at Team Free With Ads, we want to make sure you go to maxfunstore.com

and grab yourself some free with ads merch. We got t-shirts, we got hats that say the worst hat, pint glasses, stickers, everything you could ever want that says free with ads on it. We got it. And hey, we really, really want to see you out in San Francisco at SF Sketch Fest, our first ever live show at the Punchline Comedy Club, Thursday, January 23rd, 7.30 p.m. We would love to see you there.

Tickets at sfsketchfest.com. Okay, join us next week when our movie will be hitched for the holidays. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You're home Happy Birthday