Free With Ads - Willard (2003)

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

Move over mouse movies, it's time for rat films as animal attack august continues with Willard (2003), starring Crispin Glover as a nepo baby who needs an army of rats to help him get over his social anxiety.  Tune in next week when our movie will be... Piranha (1978) ----- Subscribe to Emily's new YouTube Channel The Anti-Craft, coming soon! On August 20th, come to Minneapolis, MN and see Matt Lieb and his wife Francesca Fiorentini at the Parkway Theater for The Bitchuation Room Live! On August 30th, Jordan Morris will be at Cape and Cowl Con in Alameda, CA. On Sept 3- Sept 7, come to Atlanta for DragonCon. Go to bit.ly/goofriends to get signed copies of The Amazing Venom coming to comic book shelves everywhere Sept 30th. If you want a signed copy of the paperback version of Predator: Bloodshed go to bit.ly/bigdangfight Or just call your local library and make sure they start carrying Predator: Bloodshed. Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinfreewithads

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Amazon 12 bucks a month to watch movies starring hot dudes with severe unusual features like Timothy Shalame, Barry Kogan, and Adam Driver, when you can go online for free and watch a movie about Willard, the original rat boy. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm heavily Fleming. Today's movie is Willard, the 2003 remake of the 70s cult classic about a man with a bunch of rats who's somehow less weird than someone who has a lot of birds. With us, as always, is the super producer, the he freak Matt Leeb, hitting us with those

plague-infested drops. Willard, from now on, your name's Clark. Good night, Clark. What's up, Clark? Oh, mom. From now on, you guys are both Clark. Just letting you know. Okay, I'll be Clark.

Hey, worked out pretty good for Willard. It sure did. I thought you were going to do when his boss called him a slimy, puky, pukees. piece of shit. I thought about doing that too. You know, there was a lot of moments. There was a lot of moments. Yeah, quite a few.

A lot of drop worthy moments in this music. So true. I mean, Matt, you could answer this question. Is this the most drop worthy movie we've ever covered? It's not, but, you know, it could have been had I made a bunch of drops for it. Listen, you made the one. It was great. That's the job.

Sometimes. It's definitely the movie with the most droppings. That's true. Many, many dropping. Many, many droppings. Hey, well, hey, speaking of drops, Matt, get your finger hovered over the one we have for this special month. Yeah, that's right. We're right in the middle of Animals Attack August.

Animal attack August. Tweet. There we go. There's all our friends. Tweet? Yeah, just I had an extra bird live. Nice, I like it. There's a live bird.

In the rich tradition of this, of this special month that we've done two times, we're going to talk about our first ever rap movie. What a thrill. But first, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. Other free stuff. So this is a very exciting article for our show in particular that was originally published on the Hollywood Reporter website. They're giving us a million dollars. That's right. Did you guys hear? Did you guys read the Hollywood reporter that we're all getting a million dollars for no reason?

For no reason. Well, our souls are in there. It's like that. It's the little mermaid thing. We all had to go, ha. Matt just had to play a bunch of drops into a magic clamshell. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. Oh, no. Now Ursula has all my drops. And the Disney Corporation. Yeah, that's true. Got it. Good for them.

No. Very exciting for our show in particular during an interview, one of the Disney CEOs announced that they are considering doing a free with ads streaming service. Now, that would be huge for us because now we mainly do Ouija board movies and the films of Don Bluth. That's right, because Disney won't put most of their shit on any free with ad service. That's very true. Yeah, yeah. We've caught a couple when they've popped up briefly, like a Roger Rabbit and Dick Tracy,

I believe all kind of like pop in there but you know none of the big ones do. No big ones. No Lion King No Beauty Bees. No Stars Wars. No Ratatouis. No Petit's Dragon. No Pete's Dragon. I don't know that I would consider that one of the big ones but yes we would love to do Pete's Dragon. Not even the little ones. That's the thing because I'd love to do the more obscure ones like Pete's Dragon and we couldn't even do those. Yeah Emily do you have a you know top top three or top five Disney movies you know from your childhood that might make good apps.

I mean, I think from the Renaissance, which all of us were lucky enough to grow up during the musical kind of Renaissance, I think Beauty and the Beast is amazing. But I want to watch some rescuers. I want to watch my little, the hot little mouse couple. Some great mouse detectives with some good dump trucks on them. And also like fucking 101 Dalmatians, the live action one with Glenn Close. I never seen that. I, um, it's so friggin good.

I just, there's some really good ones that aren't part of the like quote, like Renaissance where it was beauty and the beast, Lion King, Aladdin, like that kind of stuff. But also, hunchback of Notre Dame was pretty bleak. And I'd love to revisit how fucked up that movie is. It had a, uh, it had something that I always like, which is a like a villain with religious mania, which is like pretty pretty like pretty, you know, dark and complex for a kid's movie. It had like a priest who felt, you know, guilty over how He was.

Horny he was to, yeah, it was to the hunchback's friend. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Hoist by Demi Moore. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay. Yeah. Fun, fun, fun.

Not the singing, though. That bitch can't sing. Oh, shots fired. I don't know. I've never heard Demi Moore. She can get AI to do it, you know, her friend, AI. Matt, I know that you, you know, you had a period in your childhood with, like, no TV. That's right.

have like beloved Disney movies that you would want to review on the show. So I mean, I agree with Emily in terms of sort of the classics would would be good. But for me, now that I'm a parent, I'm being introduced to Disney movies that I had never actually seen. Okay. So the one that I would probably want to talk about is either Princess and the Frog or tangled. Have you guys seen? either of those. Dude, okay.

So, Tangled. Tangled is incredible. It's not the best, it's not the best movie, but the music for it. It's Alan Mencken again with, I forget which lyricist. And the lyrics to their songs are,

it's so good. It's so well written. The music is great and the lyrics are out of this world, hilarious. There's a song called Mother Knows Best, sung by, oh god i forget her name but she's from the gilded age uh that tv show yeah uh she's so fucking good as mother gothull uh and the lyrics are amazing uh and then um yeah i don't know if you

have either of you seen princess and the frog i have i saw it very recently because my sister loves it yeah and so we like we have like new year's day brand and i like to uh veg out in our parents big ass bed and eat. Hell yeah. And we watched Princess and the Frog and it was just fucking delightful. It's so good. It's really good. It's Randy Newman does the music for it.

I didn't know that. Cool. I'm Randy Newman. And fucking there's a voice actor named Jim Cummings who I'm currently obsessed with because he just keeps showing up in Disney shit that like randomly. So he is mostly known for the voice of Tigger. he's been Tigger forever for a long, long time now. And he has a very distinct voice.

In Princess and the Frog, he plays the Firefly. And then I was randomly, we were showing Karina Pocahontas. And while we were listening to that song, Savages, all of a sudden I heard this voice and I'm like, is that fucking Tigger again? And lo and behold, Jim Cummings also in fucking Pocahontas. This dude has been in every freaking Disney movie. He's so talented. And I just like, if I ever got to meet him, I think I would shit a brick.

He sounds super fucking cool. That's great that you mentioned Pocahontas, too, because I know it's like, you know, it's not historically accurate, but God damn, that music is so good. Bro, I was watching Colors of the Wind with my daughter, and I was crying. It was so embarrassing. That is a shower singing classic. It's so good. It's great in the shower. Yeah.

Because like the only way you feel like you can hit it right is with Tati. On the walls on the wall. Otherwise, you can't hit those notes. What is it about the shower that makes me the best singer in the world? Like tiles and water. Yes. But it's pretty amazing. I do think that the tangled is so good because it's like it teaches you about manipulation. Yes, it does.

Honestly, I learned a lot through watching that movie. I was like, yeah. It teaches you about emotional abuse by a parent. and it also teaches you about gas lighting. It's all very good lessons for three-year-olds. Yeah. Jordan. What about you?

On the topic of Disney music, yeah, I like that golden age of Disney. I have warm feelings toward, but I'm not like, you know, a huge super fan of. But if you were to ask me to make a list of my top five favorite songs, I would put under the sea on there. Oh, hell yeah. Under the sea is one of the best songs ever written. Absolutely. And again, it's so funny. Like just the little rhymes in Under the Sea. It's just like what what ocean rhyme can we think of for everything? It's so great. I love Under the Sea. And yeah, as far and you know like it would be nice to be able to do Star Wars movies. We have like nerds we're not catering to. I always forget that that's Disney. They got it all. It would be fun to do Star Wars movies. But as far as like weirdo Disney movies that weren't. Aladdin Beauty and the Beast

Little Mermaid My heart will always belong to the Emperor's New Groove Oh shit! Okay. And you know, doing it would have that problem of doing comedies where you're like, this is funny, and this is funny, and this is funny, and that's the podcast.

But I just, I love that movie. I think it's so great, so full of good voiceover performances. And yeah, just such a weird, like, little vision and then just some songs by Sting for some reason. Hell yeah. Well, yeah, he, like, it's so funny how, like, Sting was doing tons of soundtracks, and so was Brian Adams at the time. Brian Adams did the soundtrack for Spirit, which is an animated Disney movie about a horse.

Oh, yeah. I remember Spirit. I never saw it, but I remember there was a horse movie. It's good. I love Spirit. Oh, yes. Write a letter to your local Disney and tell them that you want the free with ad streaming service so that we can watch Tangled and the Emperor's New Groove and review them for, you know. you.

But yeah, that may or may not happen, but you know what did happen is we watched Willard. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. But a couple of things before we start the discussion. It turns out that Crispin Glover, the star of this movie, has been accused of some pretty nasty stuff in a lawsuit. We feel like since a movie is made by a lot of people, not just the actors, it's still worth talking about, but we wanted to acknowledge that we're aware of it.

And we also want to let you know that this movie mentions suicide. So if that's not something you want to hear is talking about. about we're going to play some music and give you a chance to find another episode we're back it's free with ads it's animal attack august and the animal in question this week is a bunch of rats is willard had either of you seen this or the original before we no no never never had any interest. I've seen the posters for this everywhere. And I can't believe this is 2003. Yeah. For some reason, it felt like it was older than that. I thought it was more recent than that. Oh, really? I thought this came out in 2016 or some shit. But no, I just, I remember seeing it around and going, people going, it's a horror movie. And I'm like, really? About rats? I don't know about that.

I remember it had Crispin Glover. And I remember thinking like, oh, yeah, where's this weirdo been? Because I only knew him from. from the, you know, back to the future movies. Or the David Letterman like stuff. Or the weird David Letterman spot that he did. And so basically I was just like, oh, yeah, I haven't seen him in a while. And then I saw the trailer for it. And I was like, no interest. Sorry.

I just don't want to see his rat movie. Just seems too weird. Yeah. Well, yeah, let's talk about it. My first time, too. I've had the original in just like a queue for a long time. You know, I'm like, I should watch that. rat movie at some point and just never did.

But yeah, I and I was vaguely aware that there was a remake. But yeah, this is the one we watched and we're going to talk about it. I heard that there's a sequel to the original one. Interesting. About Big Ben.

And it's called Ben. Yes, it's about the big rat in this movie. That's what I heard too. There's a Willard verse. Yes. So it starts out. The credits, I would call them

Tim Burtony. Very Tim Burtony credits. A lot of weird stop motion. as fuck. Too long, very creepy. It felt like American horror story intro, but like 20 years long, I was like, okay,

fuck, it was forever long. But we opened finally 45 or 46 minutes later, the credits end, and we start the movie in a creepy old house, that's right, our boy Willard, a little weiner

who wears a suit when he's not wearing pajamas. These are this man's only two outfits, a suit and pajamas. He walks around a creepy old house filled with a bunch of taxidermy, got a big staircase. Maybe he rented it from a certain, oh God, what's the main character of Psycho's name?

I'm forgetting. Norman Bates. Norman Bates. Yeah. Well, that house, like the staircase, I was like, this is like the psycho house. Yeah. I think it's supposed,

it's intentionally supposed to remind you of the psycho house. You know, we got a, we got a creepy mom. mom in a bedroom and stuff. She's in a live skeleton. That's true. You could call her that, but Jesus Christ, this poor, poor actress. I know.

Mom's in bad shape. They made that woman look the worst she's ever going to look in her life. That's true. And she did a great job. What a fantastic acting job. She really is. She's from Anne of Green Gables, the like TV series when I was growing up and I was like, hey, I was happy to see her.

But the minute you see here, you go, huh. Yeah. She's like the attic lady in pet cemetery, like a little bit. It's like, fuck you, so gross. So Willard and his gross, gross mom live in this big old house together. Dad lived there at one point. Dad is dead. We see his ashes.

He died in 1995. He never got to see the Matrix. Oh, that sucks. He never got to take the blue pill. He would have loved. He would have loved taking one of those two pills. Speaking of which that, you know, the painting of the dad, that is the original Willard. Really?

Yeah. Okay. I didn't know that. That's a fun fact. That's an actor that's recognizable. I just remember him as the guy from X-Men who they turn into a mutant and then he turns to water and dies. Oh, is that the same guy? Yeah.

Yeah, same guy. That's so funny. Yeah, well, maybe this does suggest a larger Willard verse. Oh, my God. Okay, I would love, oh, I'm sure there's a very, very long YouTube video explaining why this movie is connected to that other movie. And the person explaining it will have an awful voice. Yep, and a shitty thumbnail. Bad thumbnail.

Willards are connected. Stupid. Anyway, so yeah. So, yeah, so mom is real, despite maybe you wondering whether or not she's real. And, yeah, that's when we, so he goes up to check on her, and that's when we get, the part from Matt's drop where she says that maybe Willard is so pathetic because of his shitty name, his shitty name and that he should be named Clark.

Yeah. I just want to say at this point in the movie, I went from dreading having to watch this to being like, oh no, I think I like this movie. I know. That joke was so funny. It rules. I know. This movie is funny.

She sticks to the bit too, because later she calls him Clark. again, like in the next scene. Oh, I was going to ask. I didn't clock that. I was like, oh, we should go back and see she's constantly calling him Clark. Oh, that's great. She does, I think, eventually go back to calling him, Willard. But the fact that she does it again in another scene is so fun.

I'm trying to think of anyone other than Superman who's named Clark. That's a good point. I don't know anyone. I mean, the candy bar, the Clark bar. Yeah, that's true. But that's not a man. Yeah, that's a bar. A bar is a man.

That's right. I I know this With God is my witness A bar is a man Glory Citizens United Hallelujah

Anyway Just ask my friend Whatcha McCollett Oh damn I love Whatcha McCollett Those are good Those are good candies Whatchamacallet

Sponsor the show Manel Yeah Never hear that That song Grinchity Great jingle So yeah

Willard His home life is a mess. His mom's just changing his name all the live long day. But his life at work, not much better. Willard works at a business office that makes business papers, I guess. Yeah. He goes to work and there is someone else. A total babe is sitting at his desk. Cat. From Mulholland Drive. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yep. She's a, she's a babe. And her name is cat. Get it? Because, you know, he's rat. He's rat. She cat. She cat. Yeah. She cat. Yeah. Willard.

Me, cat, you rat. Not a subtle film. Not a subtle film, Willard. Oh, not at all. So, yeah, he goes in to meet his awful, awful boss, who I think is the tallest person in the movie. Tallest guy. All right.

His boss, a real, just tough talking piece of shit. The drill sergeant from full metal jacket. Oh, was that him? Early Emery. Good casting. Good casting. Dude, the casting in this movie is pretty amazing. Like, I couldn't believe that they got.

him. He's an amazing villain because the funny thing about this is like Willard, it's reverse nepotism because Willard is a nepo baby because his dad owns the company, but he just kind of works there. And then this guy is a hardworking. Like he's a drill sergeant, but he doesn't, he's not lazy. He works real hard and he hates Willard. Yeah, he really hates Willard. And I guess can't fire him because of some weird contract because Willard's dad, you know, owns the, or owned the company. or something like that. And he's dead. Yeah, it's like while your mother is alive,

you know, you get to keep your job, essentially. Yeah, so Willard just kind of like has to work there and the guy is just trying to berate him into quitting. Yeah. This whole time. So, yeah, back at home, Willard's mom's been kind of complaining about rats in the basement. He puts down some glue traps that are supposed to like humanely catch them.

I have a story. Please. Please tell me your rats. story. There is nothing humane about glue traps. No, there isn't. Anyone who's ever dealt with them knows this. Yes.

So my apartment, as we all know, it does not have, currently have bed bugs, knock on wood. But I have had quite the scuffle with rats in this apartment. And they didn't do much, but they gave, they put sticky traps in my apartment. And it's not a very big apartment. And I woke up in the middle of the night to shrieking from the glue traps. and it was one little guy who was in there and I was just so heartbroken that I took him to the bathtub

and put gloves on and put Don dish soap all over the feet because like Don dish soap that's what they put on little duckys according to the commercials for it. Yeah well it works so you like it works on the sticky traps Of course Crispin Glover's character put vegetable oil But if you put like Don dish soap

Which I think that's kind of good that they put that on there it's like, hey, if you ever want to, you know. It's a nice tip, a nice hat. It's a nice tip. But yeah, so I put him in the bathtub, put a little warm water in there, and then I got him off the sticky trap, and I, like, washed him off. And then put him in a little cardboard box with rags and stuff and poked holes in it.

And then I put him outside somewhere. You made him chew your boss's face off. Yeah. I put him outside in the box in hopes that he would, like, you know, go somewhere else. and I went outside the next morning and he was outside of the box dead next to a huge dog turn Wow

Well I did all that work That's insane I did everything I could And he was dead next to a dog I don't know He wasn't even Well maybe he had dawn poisoning

I don't know Emily you did the right thing You had a little Willard You're like Willard but without all the family trauma. And I made a video of the whole thing and posted it in my stories. And my mom went, you need to take that down. That's insane.

You look like an insane person. I'm like, that is true, though. And they took it down. But I do have humane traps now that are little plastic tunnels that have a little latch thing. And you put peanut butter at one end and they go in the tunnel and it just closes. I might like to go on that tunnel.

Peanut butter, you say? Sounds like a pretty good tunnel. You hear it close. you walk over and it just I've put my dick in it. Yeah. It's a mouse flesh light somehow. I don't know. It's a Matt Leap trap.

The guy loves to fuck peanut butter. He loves to fuck these tubes with peanut butter. But he, so he used, so Willard Freeze, this beautiful white, like, albino rat from a sticky trap with vegetable oil. And his mother makes a joke about him masturbating with him.

going, you're too old for that. And it made me think, what's the weirdest thing y'all ever masturbated with? And I just want to say, you're never too old to masturbate. I agree. It's insane that you would even think. Sometimes it's all you have. Yeah, yeah.

Sure. Sometimes it's just what you got to do in order to get through the day. What is masturbation, but the friend you made along the race. That's right. Yes, but the hand you sat on to make it feel like a friend you made along the way. Yeah, what you guys got?

I, you know, I, boy, I mean, you know, is a hand weird? No, no. That's the most normal thing. Well, I guess I've never used stuff. I know. Yeah, I never like used stuff. I know that's like the boring answer.

I should at least make up something about sticking it into applesauce or something. Yeah. I use the brush handle. Oh, okay. See, yeah, that's, if I were a woman, I feel like I would have done that too. That and then those like tubes that you put your toothbrush in. that were ribbed and stuff, that one was pretty good.

I was thinking that too. Yeah, with me, I mean, Big Mouth Billy Bass, famously. That's right. That's right. Matt Leaves claim to fame.

Yes, I fucked the skin of a big mouth billy bass. He took you to the river as it were. That's right. And I dropped it in the water. Can you please put in the show notes a link to the episode? I will.

Or is that behind the paywall? Did they put that? It might be. It might be. But at the very least, I'll put a link to my stand-up bit about fucking a big number.

There you go. Check out Matt's video if you want to hear more about what it's like to give it to something you buy off an infomercial. That's right. So yeah, Willard, he frees this little, very cute little white rat from a glue trap. His name is Socrates.

And basically immediately becomes king of the rats. I love how quick this happens. I love how it's like, fuck it. This is the guy who controls rats movie. He just controls them. We're not going to have a huge rat training montage. Right. Okay, Willard controls rats now.

He doesn't fall into a vat of radioactive, like rat poison or something. No. He just, he just, is weird. He does, this does look like a Batman movie a little bit. Yes. Yes, a lot. And he does seem like a Batman villain. Do you know that I think Wachene Phoenix almost played this part? Really?

Oh, yeah. I think that would have been too serious. He would have taken it too seriously and like, had rats like it would have been a monster hit if he had you think so yeah I think so I think you know at the time no one was interested in

seeing Crispin Glober in anything I think he's too off putting I'm trying to think of when they were interested I mean probably 86 yeah right after back to the future right you know but like yeah I don't think people were interested in him so no one wanted to see the remake of the rat movie

But, yeah, Waukeen would have been great. I do think that, so we did mouse hunt for Jalibary by last month. It's true. A nice bridge between our two months. That's right. It was technically an animal attack movie and a library movie. It's true. But I do think that the look, this is like if there was a upside down world to mouse hunt, this is like what it is.

Similar themes. But it looks like, it looks kind of like a Gore-Vurbinski. like aesthetic kind of movie. It looks like they could have been in the same house as Mouse Hunt. Like I thought that was fun. So yeah. So Willard controls rats now.

In addition to Socrates, the other rat we get named is a big old rat named Big Ben. This will lead to the Game of Thrones like power struggle within the rat community that will happen later in this movie. So it's Big Ben. He's a big brown rat.

there's Socrates, who's a little white rat. And the first thing Willard has his rats do, first of all, he has these old, like, just, like, leather bags that look like what an old doctor would carry, like a old country doctor. And he, like, the rats will just run in every time he says, like, run in the bag. And so he takes them all to his boss's house. And then he has the rats chew through the boss's tires. The boss has his car. He's always bragging about.

So he, like, pops the boss's tires. And, you know, the boss kind of hears. somebody outside there's this little chase and there's like a barky little dog who's always chasing Willard and puts him in the bag and you think that the dog is going to get chewed up by the rats but the very last minute he takes out the dog oh my god oh few yeah that was fucking terrifying i think that's how remained a pg 13 movie is they let the dog live there are other moments where i'm like ooh okay i know it gets grim it was it was a fake out with the dog um but Also, so the rats are chewing through the garage door to get to this car, you know,

so they like they know how. And all the little ones are there. And Big Ben, like, he doesn't do what he's told. He doesn't suffer, no fools. Dude, he's a stowaway. Like, like, Willard yells at him, no, don't get in there. You're not, you're too big. Other rats won't be able to get in there, which I was like, first of all, don't body shame

Big Ben. No kidding. He's not that much bigger than the other. Oh, no. He's huge. He is a giant rat. And then. When he's.

him up by the tail. A thick king. A thick king. Yeah. He's the size of a foot. And like he, uh, he ends up being so powerful that he's able to eat a hole through the garage. In the garage door. So he's like, I don't chew through rubber. I chew through door.

Yeah. And then he's chewing through it. And as he's going, he created this huge door for himself in the wall. His chunky nuts kind of get stunk in there. And I was like, damn, Ben. Look at those nuts. Yeah. Yeah, you got some fatty balls.

Big Ben's got nuts in there. That's why I call him Big Ben. Yeah, he's not the size of his body. Yeah. Oh, boy. Hell yeah. Look at the nuts on Ben. Man, we talk a lot about fuckable rats on this show.

Oh, shit, do. Oh, my God. We do have like a ton of fuckable rats. We have just a thing. We secret a nym. Wait a minute. I have an idea. We have tallest guy, but what about smallest guy?

Oh, okay. All right. Smallest guy. Smallest guy. I'll do it. Let's just do it. And it's for little animals. Little guys.

Little smallest guys in the movie. That would probably be Socrates in this movie. He's probably the littlest guy. Or excuse me, the smallest guy with an O. Yeah, SMLL. The meme spelling small. So yeah. So what's going on?

Oh, yeah. So Willard pops the boss's tires and he goes into work and everybody's talking about the pop tires. This is the talk of the office. Everybody hates the fucking boss. Wait. Can we talk about one thing? Because this much like mouse hunt,

it's like what time period does this exist in? Everybody in this movie kind of has an aesthetic that looks like it could be the 70s, the 80s. But there's this one coworker named Barbara who he works with that comes in with like a 90s kind of like, like, low-cut boobelicious shirt on it. She's the biggest outlier in the whole cast. Yeah, we get a little joke about the internet a little bit later in the movie,

which feels kind of weird and out of place. It ends up being pretty funny, so I kind of let it slide. But it is the one thing that kind of like dates this movie. It is pretty timeless in the way that, you know, like Mouse Hunt kind of was. And it's very Tim Burtony, you know, in that way. It's like a exist in this weird, like, timeless movie time pocket. But, but yeah, so everybody's talking about the boss.

tires getting popped. Willard, Willard's loving being king of the rats. All the other rats sleep in the basement. But Socrates gets to sleep in bed with Willard. He's the special little guy of the group. It is, they are very, they really make it seem like they're fucking. I don't know how that's possible, but they really like, it really make it seem like they are.

It did make me want a little rat, you guys. Oh, too. Socrates is so cute. So cute. And the thing is there, we had like rats. on a Good Mythical Morning episode this one time, and they were like fancy rats that were expensive and they wore costumes and stuff.

But you can't just have one rat. They're very social creatures. You have to have at least two or else they get sad and lonely. Exactly. Have a rat army that you train to do violence. As much as I'd love a rat, I'd have to get two rats, and I don't want two fucking rats.

That's too many rats. But also, I hate that he wouldn't let Big Ben cuddle with him. Me too. So, fucking mad. I love that. So when Socrates

sleeps in bed with him, he's the only rat that's allowed upstairs, but Big Ben always finds his way out of the basement. And when Willer wakes up, Ben is just like sitting on the bed staring at him.

And I'm like, yeah, cuddle with Ben too. Ben's great. He has giant testicles. Yes. They'll warm your cheek. Yeah. Come on.

It's terrible because it's like, Willer doesn't realize like he's doing to Big Ben what his mom did to him. Oh my God. And he's doing what his boss does to him. That's right. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't even really put that together, you guys. I think this is such a great movie about patterns, about like how people get into, like, destructive patterns. And yeah, that's totally it. Willard is his mom. Willard is his boss. Yeah. To the rats.

Yeah. So, yeah. So things are kind of like going, uh, going a little. little bit wild. Mom thinks that Willard is trying to throw her out. Mom's getting a little crazier. And then one day he finds that she fell down the basement stairs. It is maybe, like you're supposed to kind of believe maybe the rats did it somehow, but you

don't know. Like mom just fell down the stairs. She tripped over Ben is what I think. Maybe. Maybe tripped over them balls. That's right. So yeah. So he's, Willard just like goes into this like crazy depression.

He, and because like they start threatening that the bank is going to take the house. I guess mom was in debt and, you know, the only thing to pay off the debt is the house. Willard wants to stay in the house. So he like stops going to work. But the, the babe who was at his desk comes by and brings him a cat. She feels like he's too lonely. So she's crazy. Bringing someone a pet they didn't ask for psychotic.

Psychotic. But also you're Willard. you're already psychotic so you just found your soulmate right yes marry this I know and this woman like likes Willard and he like doesn't you know he's not clocking it her character makes zero sense

to me like her behavior it's just so weird it's so wacky that because he I mean you know he is the character is so weird and the performance is so weird it's just one of those like why is this beautiful woman into this like right guy who cries in the office you know

whatever it's movie logic, but she brings him a cat, and Willard puts it inside. Now, I, this next sequence, I am of two minds about. Okay. One, I'm like, this is brilliant. This movie with a POV character drops the POV for a segment, and we just get this whole separate little mini movie about this cat running from the rats. It's funny. It's so creative that they just abandoned Willard to go to this cat's POV. But the cat weirdo in me is like, how dare you?

Yeah, I was wondering. How dare you? I was thinking, Jordan's going to be highly affected by this scene. But cat is so cute. So you get this chase scene of the cat running from the rats who are like chewing the furniture to get to it. You think it's going to escape. and then finally it like falls into this big like sea of rats. And just for some context,

and I do have the information regarding this, but the song that is playing is the song Ben sung by Michael Jackson when he was 14 years old and it was written not by him, but it was written for the sequel of the movie Willard, the original. So the song, It has a tie-in to the original sequel of it, which is just, it's a great song, like, first and foremost. It is.

It's a beautiful song. But I always understood that it was a song about how Michael Jackson's dad stomped on his pet mouse. Yeah, here's the thing. I never fully understood why this song ever existed. And when I found out that it was written specifically for the sequel to Willard, I was like, yeah, that's all the info I need. I don't need more info than that. She's crazy. So this scene, I am not being cute when I say this.

This is real. This scene upset me as much as that part in hereditary where the little girl's head gets knocked off. Really? Oh my God. This fucked me up. Really? Really? What happened to this cat who didn't ask for any of this?

That's true. Honestly, it was very disturbing. Like, I was disturbed. But the... I thought it was awesome. It was awesome. It's what made this movie into something special to me. Well, it's what made it into a horror movie.

So it went from, like, the mom's stuff was fucking scary too. And so this was, all right, we're knocking it up a couple of notches. But yeah, but yeah, again, just to like do this whole little interlude in the middle of the movie that does not have anything to do with the plot is really, really creative. And it's never revisited it either. It's never like, she's like, where's that cat? I know, yeah, you don't find the cat's bones ever, yeah. It's gratuitous and wonderful. Yeah.

So, yeah, so mom's dead. Willard goes into his dad's old stuff. He finds his dad's glasses. He finds his dad's wedding ring. He puts on the wedding ring. That's creepy because he wants to marry mommy. Ew. There was something where I, like, the, it looked like the rats were eating her at one point when

the mom was dead on the floor. He kind of did, yeah. And then Big Ben is, like, crawling. like up her leg kind of I'm like Big Ben's there to eat that pussy Like I just like he loves me He's an eater That's the only thing he eats and he eats good

Oh my God I eat garage door and pussy Very giving A very giving lover That's right that's right Very generous lover So yeah And he finds dad so dad had like a pocket knife

And he like you see him Kind of put it on his arm like he's going to kill himself PG-13 movie by the way PG-13 movie. This is all in a PG-13 movie. And then Socrates stops him. Socrates gets in the way. It's so. It's wonderful. It's so goofy and heartbreaking. It's wonderful. Yeah. It truly is. But so then the next day he goes to work and he takes Ben and Socrates with him and like lets them out in the like supply cabinet. And that's when the boss fires him. So the boss fires him. Because he. mom is dead and this like whole contract is nolan void i guess and he tells willard like just sell the house get a used car and drive somewhere else and start over and that whole time i'm like yeah willard do that this guy this asshole is right it sucks that you have to but like don't try and hold on to this job and this house and this shit just yeah do what the boss says like anyway

no skills to do so this guy is such a shut in little weirdo who had to a pretty disturbed overbearing mom like it was I don't think she was a bad person or anything but there's no way that guy is going to be able to start over yeah and he's and he seems to know that too in this movie which makes it all the more

like it makes the desperation of his character all the more real like when he's like begging he's begging his boss to not kick him out of the house you know he's begging his boss to not fire him like all of these moments he it is i mean you know he's crying in the office it's embarrassing but it's also uh it also feels very real it's uh i think it's i think it's good acting guys yeah well this whole movie i really love the acting performances are pretty striking yeah and the direction is pretty

striking but i will say willard is the villain in this movie because he's bad at his job yeah he's a nepo baby and rightfully so he should be fired he has all these outs too he has constant outs like he has all these opportunities to like get himself out of the situation and he just fucking doesn't do it because he just like wants to be daddy he wants to be loved by mommy he just like can't let any of this stuff go well the other thing is he was bad at his job and he was also bad at taking care of his mother she looked like hell and would also say you never feed me right And then you see her in the casket looking like a million bucks. And you went, oh, she could have looked like that the whole time.

Yeah, mom did look good in the casket. She looked horrible. Like he didn't take care of his mother. He was not good. He's not a good guy. Look, he sucks. So while all this is happening, the boss's secretary finds the rats in the supply closet. And so the boss like gets a broom handle and he kills Socrates.

He kills Socrates. And that's when Will. It's like it's fucking on. Let's go time. And yeah, so we're almost to the finale of the movie. We're going to talk about it when we come back. We're back. It's free with ads.

We are talking about the thrilling conclusion of Willard. So it's on. The boss killed. The boss killed Socrates. So Willard and Ben team up. They get all the fucking rats and go to. the office. So the boss is working at the office late at night. And so this is the one joke about the internet, which I'm sure was so cutting edge at the time.

It's 2003. So like showing the internet on screen was probably like fucking mind blowing. The boss just clicks on a box that says internet. He goes to a porn site called peekabooob web. And fantastic. I was like, yes, we need this. I don't know why, but I'm glad we have this. Yeah. And he's looking at like photos that like all.

wives. Of wives. I think that was the genre was my wife. My favorite thing is we're supposed to hate this guy, but he's looking at age-appropriate women wearing full-on shirts and blue jeans. Yeah. To be fair, he is scowling. Like, ugh.

Like you want something better. I want a hotter wife. But it's 2003. All you had was peekaboobub web. That's right. You couldn't be too cheesy. That's right. You could not be too choosy.

Excuse me. He only has Peekaboboob web. Anyway, so there's this, so it's just the boss in the office looking at peekaboo web. And then Willard, there's not a lot of CGI in this movie, very practical movie, but there's a CGI shot of Willard getting out of the elevator and just like a swarm of rats parting to reveal him. Amazing. And so, yeah, he gets into the office, he like has this big fight with the boss and he traps the boss in the elevator. and like sends him down to wherever. With a bunch of rats.

And Ben. Yeah. So he's kind of like getting rid of the rats and Ben that way too. So he's getting rid of the rats. Just like he had to sacrifice quite a few of the rats to get rid of Ben. Yeah. So then he goes home with like a bug bomb and supposedly kills the rest of the rats. So he's just fucking like done.

It's just like scorched earth with Willard. but there were, so then, Catherine, the babe from the office who brought him the cat comes over, does not ask about the cat. Just an unrelated thing that no one makes a game. So, so,

so Willer tries to keep them all out with like, he tapes the toilet so there's no way to get in, but then she needs to use the toilet and then a bunch of like wet rats crawl out of the toilet because they were just waiting there, I guess. I thought they were gonna eat her ass. Like, I thought for sure.

Me too. I'm like, oh, maybe there is an R-rated version of the movie where they, all like, crawl out through her mouth. That scary movie where the rats keep eating pussy.

I was like, here comes Ben. Nom, nom, give me some cheese because I believe I am also a rat. You like the same things.

Like peanut butter in a tube. And a dead woman's pussy. That's right. Nom, num, num, num, num, yum. Yum.

So the rats are like going crazy. Willard is like trying to get her out of the house the cops are also simultaneously at the house Which is hilarious because like I'm not entirely sure why Because either Like did he I maybe he left some evidence of his giant rat army Killing his boss

But I love the idea that they were like They went to him they went Yeah man the boss got eaten by rats I wonder who could have done this and everyone went It was Willard He was the weirdest guy we've ever met in our lives kind of looks like a rat. The kind of rat like guy.

He's very ratish. He's always crying and creeping around. Smells like cheese. Just trust me. Go to his house. Go to his house. Probably the guy that did it. You'll find a rat army.

Probably the guy that did it. So like Ben and the rest of the rats swarm him. Ben like bites him in the face. There's this kind of silhouette scene where he's taking dad's pocket knife. Which that was cool. Yeah, another little psycho reference. Because Ben loses a foot because he sets out a big. big ass trap for Ben.

And Ben then gnaws his own foot off and escape. So in that silhouette, you could see Ben kind of hopping. He's like, he's limping. So you're like, there's Ben. He's still alive. And then, you know. Yeah. So then we get a scene of Willard in an insane asylum.

The guard brings him his food. He doesn't want to eat it. And after the guard leaves, he's given the food to a little rat. That's right. little white rat in the insane asylum. And the fucking cycle begins anew. You can't eat this guy away from rats. Well, I kind of think that that's a happier ending for him than he deserves.

It's like now he doesn't have to take care of anyone. Yeah. Just him and the rats. Yeah, the state is paying for his fucking place to stay now. That's a very good point. I was thinking that too because he was just like, what am I going to do? You know? And then as soon as you see him in like an insane asylum with the rat.

friend. You're just like, oh, everything kind of worked out for Willard. Yeah. I know. And he does become the bad guy. You do want to see him get chewed up by his own rats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that they didn't do that instead had this sort of happy ending for him, I thought was an interesting choice, but I didn't hate it. I actually was like, oh, that's fine. Let him have his rat. At least he had another little like Socrates, buddy. Yeah. And I think it's about how Willard has like made his own hell for himself. Sure. I do think this is an example of he's not letting this go. You know, he just, like,

I'm going to train some new rats. I'm going to get revenge. You know, he's just like, he's made this for himself. Yeah, he finally found what he was good at. I did want Ben to, like, bust through, like, the Kool-Aid man, like, bust through the walls of the middle institution

and be like, oh, yeah. A scientist made me big. I have unfinished business. Ben smash. Ben smash. Yeah. And then he just, like, you know, puts, puts Willard under his thumb, tells him,

no, you can't cuddle with me now. That's right. I'm a bigger deal now. I'll cuddle with who I want to cuddle this. Fuck you. They make the second movie just about me. I don't need you, Willard. Michael Jackson's talk about me.

Who are you? Who the fuck are you? What's the Willard's song? What's the Willard's song? It doesn't exist. It should have called you Clark. Yeah. By Clark.

That should have been a thing where the guard calls him Clark or something. That would have been great too. That would have been funny. Well, yeah, that's the end of Willard. We're going to tell you what we thought about it. But first, we're going to do the hunk watch. It's HONCW.

Yeah. Any strong feelings about the hunks. Big Ben, baby. Yeah, it's a big hunker rat. And I believe my favorite character in the movie. Big hunk of nuts. Big hunk of nuts. I'm going to say one of the best characters in fiction.

Yeah. You know what? You're not that wrong. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's a reason why, you know, the king, Michael Jackson, song about this rat is very special rat. I love that Ben's performance was just mostly him a top cabinet and then a close-up would happen and the music was like done, done, done.

But he was a motive. Like there was parts that I was like, is this a practical effects rat or is this a real rat? Because the face did look like he was going like, you motherfucker. Like he had that. A very expressive face. Yeah. I'm curious. Andy Circus and a ball suit playing. that rat. I don't know, but it was very good. I wonder if he was a rat or something else. Bigger than it.

What's another type of rat? There's, yeah, no, he's, I guess he was played by a rat. There, this movie, they did work with the humane society, I guess.

I think that it was a good relationship with, like, like it was a pretty humane film. But that thing looked like something else. Like a new trio? A new tree. That's exactly what. I thought it was.

Yeah. And it, because when he picked it up by the tail, I was like, it's heavy. You could see him. You know, I mean, I'm in a hamster and some prosthetics. Good being. That's right. You never know. It's a hamster in Goro's prosthetics.

Right. Just extra arms. No, but it, it was definitely a rat, but it was the size of like a new tree. Or at least it seemed that way because of maybe how it was filmed. Yeah. All right. Ben, the hunk of the film. film. We're going to tell you what we thought of Willard overall when we come back.

Hey, we're back. It's free with ads. We're going to tell you what we thought about Willard, but first we want to tell you about our bonus episodes. They're called We Like Shows. We like shows. We go around the horn. We pick some of our favorite TV pilots of all time. We watch them. We review them for you. You can listen to those by going to maximum fun.org slash join. The most recent episode we did, Emily Fleming, it was your choice. You picked Yellowstone.

Yes, it is. The Kevin Costner, ranch-based drama. I love a good R-B-D. Oh, yeah, that old genre that we all like, oh. Ranch-based drama.

I mean, listen, whenever I go to... That's right. I thought you were going to say, that's what it's called when Jordan shows up at Buffalo Wild Wings. That's right.

Yeah, not enough ranch in this place for me. Drama. They call them Cool Hand Ranch. I do prefer blue cheese when it comes to wait. I do too. Me too. Yeah, I guess that's good too. I like it when it has chunks.

But, yeah, I'm not going to, I'm not going to kick up that or ranch out of bed. He is a junk guy. Chunks. Yes, really, really fun to watch Yellowstone. Yeah, great episode. You can hear what we thought about it. Maximumfund.org slash join. And at the end of this month, we're going to watch something that Matt

leave is choosing. All right. Very excited. Make sure you're all joined up so you can hear all our bonus stuff and every bonus episode from every show across the maximum fun network. Okay. Willard, we're going to rank it on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials. I'll go ahead and go first.

I was like, huh, we're going to watch this? All right. The Rat movie. I think this movie is great. I really liked it. Yeah, easily my favorite animal attack movie we've watched so far. Really surprising, weird little tone. It's kind of campy, but it's kind of serious.

It pulls it off. And yeah, so many, like, fun little choices. It's just super entertaining. You never know where it's going. And yeah, it's one of those where I have not heard a lot of people talk about it. So I think it is maybe a cult classic in the making. I don't know if there's a bunch of Willard heads out there. But maybe we're going to kick that off.

Yeah, let us know. Let us know. If you're a Willard head, let us know. I'm really... Well, what number do you give it? I'm going to give it an eight out of ten. Not bad. Emily, you want to go next?

Sure. I had always wanted to watch this, but it felt like I needed to have a reason for it. And thank God, this podcast gives me every reason to watch everything. So I was immediately engrossed in it aesthetically. Like, it was very offbeat. There wasn't a lot of dialogue for the first, like, 15% of the movie. It was all like just atmosphere, facial reactions. Like, I was like, wow, I'm really kind of sucked in here.

I was very pleasantly charmed by this movie. It was disturbing and creepy, but I loved it. So I'm going to give it an eight as well. I think this is a fucking stellar background movie for a Halloween party. Oh, okay. Yeah, there you go. Yes. There you go.

Halloween, she's a coming up. Matt Leeb. what did you think of Willard? I agree with you guys wholeheartedly. I'm going to give this movie a tippy 10. Hey, okay. This movie was, I guess, a lot of this 10 comes from shockingly, very low expectations. I had incredibly low expectations.

And I was shocked by, you know, how much after the opening credit sequence, which I was like, I was just like dreading it, you know, as I was typing it into YouTube. I was dreading it. Clicked it. I was dreading it as the fucking credits rolled. As soon as the story starts going, I was like, okay, you know, maybe, maybe it could be good.

You know what? Sometimes movies are good. Ten minutes into it, I'm like, I think I'd love this movie. And that feeling is sustained throughout. It is not only a great, like, movie about where the animals are, like, good at their job. Like the cute rats are very cute and also good at acting. Yeah.

But also Crispin Glover's performance is like I feel like this movie is the only movie that truly showcases what Crispin Glover was ever for. Yeah. It's true. It's true. Like I don't think like even in back to the future, he still feels a little too weird for the movie. Yeah. You know, his whole vibe is like, why do they have to make him this weird?

Does he need to be this weird? Like it could have been literally anyone But but this movie It just felt like it had to be Crispin Glover And he really gives it his all So I have to give him credit for that And yeah altogether I just fucking loved it I was like I think this is one of my

My new favorite movies I think I'm going to watch it again One of the best villains of all time to Yeah The his boss the guy from full metal jacket Yeah Because that's that role that he played in full metal jacket is like, you know, iconic.

Everybody remembers it. But it's like they gave him another one and he just, yeah, he crushes it. Everyone in this movie is doing a great job. Even the weird, you know, cat lady who's named cat, she is also good, even though like she has a great line at one point, another sort of internet like joke where he's like, I have to go inside to make a phone call.

And she goes, I have a cell phone. That was funny. I was like, that's a great little joke. So yeah, all together. I'm giving it a 10. This movie surpassed my expectations to such a point that it gets a 10. We liked it. We really do.

Anybody got anything to plug? Oh, yeah. I do. Yeah. So I just filmed all day for the anti-craft. It's coming soon. It's my Arts and Crafts channel on YouTube. The channel is up.

And if you put that at sign in and the V and anti and dash and craft, you'll have an easier time finding it. I've heard from people, it's a little hard to find. But maybe that won't be the case. Well, also, Emily, to be fair. I haven't posted a goddamn thing. I was going to say, to be fair, sometimes people on the internet aren't good at Googling. That's true.

The thing is, it's a new channel and it's, there's no videos on it yet. So it might, that might be part of it. So it's like, you know, as soon as people start hanging out and watching it, I'm sure it'll be easier to find. But that's how you find it. I just spent the whole day working with insulation foam on a sculptural project, and I think I have holes in my brain now. Okay. And it sounds like maybe if you're for some reason you're having trouble finding it,

you could just go into the show notes of this podcast. Oh, yeah, that's true. There you go. You can always go in the show notes to find anything that we plug at the end of this podcast. That's correct. Matt is a good job curating those show notes. Thank you, Matt. And don't bother us online to find something that's just.

in the show notes. Correct. Matt, you got anything? Yes, please, if you are in the wonderful city of Minneapolis, Minnesota, please come to the Parkway Theater on August 20th. That's tomorrow, if you're listening to this, the day it comes out. August 20th, Parkway Theater, Minneapolis. Also come to Laugh's Comedy Club, September 4th and 5th, or come, that's in Seattle,

Laugh's Comedy Club, September 4th and 5th. or go to Portland Helium Comedy Club September 7th and 8th. So those will all be in the show notes. If you are in Portland or Seattle and Minneapolis, let us know, please come. Excellent. A lot of good dates, a lot of good opportunities to see Matt Lieb do stand up.

And if you'd like to see me, I am going to be a couple of places coming up. I will be at Cape and CowellCon in the beautiful Bay Area, Alameda, California, to be specific. This is a one day free-ass Comic-Con, August 30th at Faction Brewing in Alameda. It's at a brewery. You could have some beer, buy some comics.

A lot of great guests at this thing. I will be there. Our past guest, Holly Chow, will be there. You can say hi to her, Jubilee from the X-Men. Maggie Chukuda Hall, who we had on a couple weeks ago. She will be there as well. So you can check me out in a bunch of our past guests. It's going to be a good old time, and it's free.

If you're in the Bay Area, you have no excuse not to stop by. And if you're in Atlanta, I will be at DragonCon, Thursday, September 3rd through Monday, September 7th. I'm going to be table and deer in the day and doing some comedy shows at night. Check out my social media for where I will be when. Yeah, so come to Cape and CowellCon, come to DragonCon and see me there. Okay, tune in next week when our movie will be the final film of Animal Attack. August, Piranha 1978.

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