Fresh Air - Amanda Peet

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

Amanda Peet is always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Except last year there seemed to be three different shoes, as she faced her parents' deaths and a breast cancer diagnosis. Peet spoke with Terry Gross about her “Season of Ativan,” navigating middle age in Hollywood, and her memories of Diane Keaton from the set of ‘Something’s Gotta Give.’ Peet stars in the new film ‘Fantasy Life’ and in the Apple TV series ‘Your Friends & Neighbors,’ now in its second season. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

This is fresh air. I'm Terry Gross. My guest is actor and writer Amanda Pete. She first became known for her roles in the 2000s in films like The Whole Nine Yards, Igby Goes Down, Siriana, and the Nancy Myers film Something's Got to Give, always bringing intelligence and wit to her performances. She also co-starred on television in shows like Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, the HBO series Togetherness, the recent reboot of Fatal Attraction, and now the Apple TV TV. series, Your Friends and Neighbors, which recently started its second season. The show is about Coop, played by John Hamm, a hedge fund manager who was pushed out and now makes his money by stealing from his neighbors in a rich suburb of Manhattan. Amanda Pete plays Mel, his ex-wife, a former therapist who's struggling with aging, the loss of her career, and her deteriorating relationship with her teenage kids. Pete also stars in the new film Fantasy Life, which won the audience award at the South by Southwest Film Festival. Amanda Pete won the special jury prize for acting. She plays a formerly successful New York actress who starts a relationship with the 20-something former paralegal

who's babysitting her children. Amanda Pete is also a great writer. She was co-creator and showrunner of the Netflix series The Chair, starring Sandra O, and she recently wrote an essay in The New Yorker about how she was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the same time, both of her parents were dying. They were divorced and living on opposite coasts under home hospice care. Amanda Pete, welcome to fresh air. Thank you so much, Terry. It's an honor to talk to you. It's an honor to talk to you. And I'm glad to hear that you're doing okay. Just so listeners aren't like in suspense, even though you had a second lump that was found, that was benign. And your diagnosis turned out to be, was it like stage zero?

I have stage one. Luminol B, high risk one, lobular breast cancer, or had it, I should say. Yes, and most importantly, you are cancer-free now? Cancer-free and extremely lucky. Congratulations. I'm really happy for you. And I'm really sorry about your parents. Thank you very much. So we'll talk about that New Yorker essay and your parents and your breast cancer all coinciding later.

Okay. But I want to start with your work. So I want to play a scene from Fantasy Life. And you play Diane Cohn, an actor who used to have some success, but you haven't worked in a few years. And you feel like a has been. You're so depressed. You're having trouble getting out of bed and participating in life. And in this scene, you're having lunch with your agent to talk about your career.

So you speak first. I'm feeling a little discouraged. Oh, you mean acting-wise? Yeah. Let's process. Thank you. Sure. Basically, I feel like nothing's happening.

And nothing's going to happen. Well, I mean, can you say more? I ran into Bob Hempel at the gym the other day, and he didn't even recognize me, Kim. How is that possible? I won an OBB. He is Alzheimer's, Diane. What? Heartbreaking. Oh, God.

His family's having a hard time. Jesus. I'm so sorry. I mean... All right. What else? Ah. I don't know.

Listen, it's going to take a little time, babe. We're reintroducing you to everyone. She's thought it would. move a little faster. No, I know. I still think creating content is a great idea. You know, a podcast or a pilot. It's just, it's good to have something. I think I just want auditions. If I could say, hey, check out this hilarious pilot, Diane Rope. Kim, am I too old? What? Absolutely not. I look in the mirror and I just, it doesn't seem right. And yet I look at other women who did stuff, you know, a decade ago and it doesn't seem right. Okay, no. Here's what.

It's not going to happen. You're not going to touch your face. You are gorgeous, Diane. You're a real-ass woman. Stunning. Could you just give me one second? Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Put them on. That's a great scene. I love a suggestion. Wait. You can create content. Podcast. Way too close to home. Is it?

Oh, my God. I mean, listening to it, it's really just triggering. What was the period in your life where you were feeling like Diane, that you were like over the hill, that you look too old, you weren't getting roles? I mean, definitely when togetherness was canceled, at that point I thought, okay, well, that's that, that's it. But, you know, actors think that a lot. So it just has a new, a whole new level. of doom, I think, when you're older and wrinkly. You know what kills me about that?

There are so many people who are older. It's one of the biggest demographics in the country, considerably older than you are. But if you want to live a life, you're going to be older, even if you're not yet. And like, you're what, in your early 50s? I mean, there's a 54. There's so many people that age. It's a demographic. You can sell your movies to those people.

Why would you leave them out? It just makes no sense. Make movies they want to go to. Yeah. Which I thought when I read the script was one of those. It was for sure. Yeah. And do you also relate to the whole idea of like, does this mean I need facework done?

I mean, I probably think about getting a facelift or something, you know, every other day, if not more. It's on my mind constantly because a lot of my friends have done it. A lot of them haven't, but a lot of them have. And I know we were supposed to talk about death later, but I can't seem to just think about a facelift and changing my face. It goes straight to thoughts about death. Wait, what's the connection? I have almost like this superstitious thing that if I were to actually do an elective surgery to look younger, I would immediately get, my cancer would come back or I would get Parkinson's or

it's almost like recently I was thinking about my dad loved that ancient fable appointment in Samara. Do you know that? I don't. I know the title. It's a merchant servant in Baghdad and he goes to the market and he sees death and gets spooked. And so he runs back to his master and says, I need your horse, I need to run off to Samara, because I just saw death and I'm so scared. And later, the merchant goes back to the marketplace and says to death, why did you scare my servant like that? You shouldn't have done that. And death says, no, I didn't mean to scare him.

I was just startled because I have an appointment with him tonight in Samara. Oh. Sorry, that was a really long-winded answer to your face-lift question. No, no, no, but that's a good answer. or something like that. Even if it's just in a spiritual way, not a literal way, that you would get ill from having somehow

lacked gratitude for having health at this point? Yeah, no, I understand. Tell me what you think of this. Here's my fear with actors who have facework done. Your face is such an important tool and you have such really nuanced

facial expressions in your acting. And you can really see that in fantasy life, your new movie, and you have limited movement once you've had facial surgery because your skin is pulled so tight. Well, but let me tell you this. Yes. At the, we had a little premiere for fantasy life and afterwards there was a little party. And as I was leaving, an older, quite beautiful woman stood up from across the room and yelled, Amanda! She made a beeline for me and sort of opened her arms and said, I love, and I thought she was going to say your performance because, you know, we were at the

premiere party and instead she said, I love your wrinkles. Oh. And I found that to be really depressing, actually. No. Like in the car, going back to the hotel, I was like, wow, is it getting to the point where not taking away my wrinkles is as distracting as. if I got a weird pull or lift or whatever. Can I reinterpret that for you?

Okay, please do. I love the idea that you haven't had a facelift. I love the idea that you've kept your face, that you look like somebody who hasn't had work done. So where are you now just asking over and over what to do? I just don't know where the line is because, you know, I get facials and I've, you know, I dye my hair, I go to the gym. I guess that's not the same.

But I, you know, I do other things. So it's really, it just exists on a continuum. And I hate a continuum because it's so messy. And I want to just be able to be purest because it seems like it would be much more relaxing. But that's sort of my rant. In terms of relating to the character that you play in fantasy life, do you relate to the depression? Yeah, I do. I sometimes don't know what to call it, but I'm no stranger to depression and no stranger to anxiety.

And I'm the daughter of a shrink. So these notions and labels have been batted around in my head and in my household all my life. And I really loved the part of fantasy life that dealt with mental illness, but sort of more average expectable. mental illness. Like usually we see, as Matthew Shear always points out, like the Joker with all his pills or girl interrupted or, you know, people who are stark raving mad. But in this movie, these are just regular folks who sometimes get taken down. And I found that to be really beautiful and sort of rare. So that also spoke to me separately from the fact that she feels she's a husband, which also spoke to me. Yeah. And Matthew Shear wrote, directed, and stars with you in the film. He's the person

who becomes the babysitter, the manny for your three kids. Let me move on to your friends and neighbors, which is the Apple TV series that you star in with John Hamm. You play a divorce couple, and he, as I mentioned earlier, was a hedge fund manager, but was pushed out. So he's basically stealing from wealthy neighbors who he feels like they have enough stuff. They won't miss this. They might not even notice that it's gone. And you're the mother of two children. And you still really care about each other,

but you've had a partner. He's had another partner. Things aren't really working out great on that end. So in this scene, you're on the steps of the family house that you used to share before you got divorced. Your daughter is a senior in high school who's got, gotten into Princeton, but she doesn't want to go. And you think, like, that's crazy.

You got into Princeton and you're not going to go. You have to go. So you've gotten her, like, readmitted to Princeton after she rejected it. And so she's really angry with you and decides to move out and move in with her father, the John Hamm character. So here is your character and John Hamm's character talking about your daughter who's just moved in with him. How's your roommate? I'll let you know when she starts talking to me. How are you?

You know, I've been better. You know why she came to you, right? Because I'm her father. Because you're the vacation pair. The fun one. Okay. Are you mad because she's pissed at you or because she came to me? Seriously. You were always at work. I was the one who had to hold the line.

You'd maybe emerge for a couple of hours on weekends, but all bets were off. You never said no to her. She was always so good. She was good because I was on it. Brush your teeth, drink your milk, do your homework, be home by 11, get off your screens. You can't leave the house wearing that outfit. Whenever they came to you for permission for something, you'd be like, what did mom say? Yeah, because I was backing you up.

You were passing the buck. Oh, please. I gave everything I had to those kids and somehow I'm the ass. Well, if the shoe fits. Come on. Girls push back against their mothers. It's the thing. It'll pass.

I guess you're just thrilled. You get her all to yourself. Well, it's not the worst. If I'm being honest, my house can be a little lonely. I mean, I lived with you guys for 18 years. It's honestly kind of nice to have her slamming doors and rolling her eyes at me. Ain't it? The scene from Your Friends and Neighbors, Season 2, Episode 3, and Your Friends and Neighbors is streaming on Apple TV.

So, you know, we were talking about available roles for women who are middle-aged or older. And in this series, I mean, your character is dealing with perimenopause, anxiety, rage, sexual changes. So I think TV movies are starting to catch up with real life. Yeah, I agree. And I feel very lucky that Jonathan Trapper, you know, I have a male boss showrunner who's interested in bringing this to the foreground this season. So I was kind of blown away by that. So in terms of like relating to your characters, like your children are,

teenagers now. Are you going through crises with them? Or they like fight back? Oh, yeah. Some of those scenes with my adolescent daughter, Isabel, were really way too close to home as well. I think when we shot those scenes about Princeton, Frankie was applying to colleges. So I hope I wasn't as brutal with Frankie as I was with my TV daughter. But I definitely had a lot of anxiety around that. And she's my firstborn so I definitely put too much pressure on her and um but I could really relate to it I could really relate to Mel's desperation and her this feeling that there is no other pathway there's no other algorithm if you're not doing Princeton it's this or nothing you know that kind of absurd attachment to that status stuff the name and you know you

You took a different path than your parents. They weren't overjoyed that you wanted to be an actor. No, they were concerned and they didn't want to pay for anything. You know, I wanted to have pictures taken and I wanted to, you know, start going out looking for an agent. And they just basically said, like, when you're done with college, you can do what you want. But for now, you have to go to college. So it never occurred to me even to try to go to conservatory. Like it just wasn't a part of the conversation.

I want to get to the really beautiful essay that you wrote in The New Yorker about how you were diagnosed with breast cancer. At the same time, your parents who were divorced were each in hospice, home hospice, on separate coasts. And the title was my season of Ativan. I can understand why you were on Ativan. So, as I said earlier, it turned out to be treatable with a lumpectomy. in radiation, even though it's a very dangerous kind of cancer that you have. And so you're cancer-free right now, which is beautiful. Yes. A lot of people go through the Y-Mea scenario, and I'm wondering if you went through a version of how could it possibly be that both your parents were dying in a hospice?

And before all the tests came back, you thought you might be dying too, because it's a very aggressive form of cancer. Well, to be honest, I was extremely lucky that I was hormone receptor positive and her two negative. So my cancer is luminal B high risk one cancer, but it's not as aggressive as some other forms of breast cancer. So once I knew that, I knew that my cancer was going to be treatable. I just want to be clear about that. But I didn't really have that why me thing. maybe it's because I'm Jewish.

I'm just sort of always waiting for the other shoe to drop. So in this case, it was three shoes. But it was more just like, I mean, I obviously I had a lot of meltdowns, but I was like, okay, roll our sleeves up, all hands on deck. You know, my sister was incredible. My husband, who's a doctor, my sister's a doctor in Philly, actually. and her husband who's at CHOP in Philly. They were sort of like, we had like almost like a team, I felt like, and a team around me. And it was, there were really beautiful things that came out of it.

Even my mom's death with my sister and my mom's caregiver was just like, it's just, there's no way to describe. It was very scary, but it was also very beautiful. And your mother was living in a cottage just like, what, 20 feet away from your home? So you could see her very frequently. Yeah. But I was thinking not so much of like, why me, but how is it possible that these two deaths and, you know, and your cancer could coincide like that? Yes.

It was crazy. I mean, it was crazy. I think that's why I started writing initially because I probably needed a way to organize or like harness all of the feelings, the bewilderment. Well, we need to take another break here, so let me reintroduce you. If you're just joining us, my guest is Amanda Peet. She stars on the new movie Fantasy Life,

and she's also one of the stars of the Apple TV series your friends and neighbors, which recently started its second season. So we'll be right back after a short break. I'm Terry Gross, and this is fresh air. When your father was dying, you flew to New York, but he died very shortly before you actually arrived at his home. His body was still there, so you got to spend time with his body. And you write that you'd never been that close to a dead body before.

and you say, and I'm quoting you, I just stood there in a state of morbid fascination. I had never seen a dead body up close before, let alone someone so familiar to me. Did you feel like he was, that your father was still there, or did it feel like you were seeing the shell of your father, but not your father? I don't think it's a static thing. Like it won't stay in the same place. my perception wouldn't stay. So it was like sometimes I would have overwhelming feelings, like, that I needed to stay with the morgue text

so that they wouldn't, like, hurt him or, like, stop at Starbucks on the way back to the morgue. Two minutes later, I would feel more clinically about it. And it was really interesting, be my sister's internal medicine, and it was really interesting because she was very emotional at first. And then when we left the building and we saw the hearse, I felt terrified that they were taking his body and just weird feelings of not wanting to leave him. And she was like, no, that's just his, you know, it's almost like the carcass of a car going to the bailing press or something.

Like she was much more able to recognize that we had crossed the threshold, kind of, at that point. I think the real thing, though, is that it just wouldn't stay in one place for me. I don't know if you had that experience, but it was very strange in that way. And my spirituality, my lack of spirituality, you know, it was a struggle to find a comfortable place, obviously. Your mother had final stage Parkinson's, and so by the time you were diagnosed with the breast cancer, she was, I wouldn't call it a coma, but she was like semi-conscious, is that fair to say? Unable to move. Yeah, she was unable to move. She could move her arms a little bit and her

mouth, but she couldn't really speak. So I don't know if I would say semi-conscious. We talked about it so much. What is she? What can she understand? I don't know if we really know. Right. I don't know if we'll ever know, yeah. And that's why, like, you didn't tell her about the breast cancer. Mm-hmm. What was surprising to me was how it could still be weird, even though we'd been sort of dealing with us on and off for probably seven years to a decade of my mom not really being. And completely compassmentous. And yet it still felt very strange to have that distance between us. Because I shared so much with her and she was such a, she was a very intimate person. So to be like fake around her was really weird.

Well, that's the thing. If you don't practice a religion, then you don't know what you're supposed to think. And you might not know what you think. Yeah. You're Jewish, but you don't practice, right? Well, we do Shabbat and the kids were Bat Mitzvah and Henry Blu Bars Mitzvah, but I think it's not a religious affiliation as much as a cultural one and, you know, we love the rituals. But my parents were both, my dad was a staunch atheist and my mom, I don't think, believed in the afterlife. And so, yeah, we, I think just my sister being together with me for 12 days up until my mom died, I think that was our, we sort of felt like we had sat Shiva. That was our Shiva.

I hope that's not blasphemous to say, but we kind of, we sat together for 12 days. We had never spent that much time together since before she left for college, we realized. And it was very beautiful. and we looked at pictures of her and read things that she'd written, and I was writing a lot, and we were laughing a lot, and that was our way of honoring her, I think. If you're just joining us, my guest is Amanda Peet. She stars on the new movie Fantasy Life,

and she's one of the stars of the Apple TV series, Your Friends and Neighbors, which recently started its second season. We'll be right back. This is Fresh Hair. Let's lighten things up a little bit with a great clip of an episode of Seinfeld that you are the guest star of. Levee smear. So Jerry and Georgia are at the coffee shop where they always meet, and you're their waitress. And Jerry decides that you're attractive and George adds, and she's a good waitress. So Jerry has two tickets for the Tonys because he wrote some jokes for the Tony Awards and he thinks.

So maybe he should take you to the Tonys. So you agree. He shows up at your door in his tuxedo and you're wearing a beautiful dressy dress. And as you're looking at each other out from the back of your apartment, comes a guy who you apparently live with. And Jerry's just like, what? And so here's the dialogue that happens. And Jerry speaks first.

Hi. Nice tuxedo. Thanks. It's a breakaway. Sure you? Absolutely. Lyle. Jerry, this is Lyle.

Hey, how you doing? Okay. Have a good time. Thanks. Lyle. Wow. Wow. Wow.

And then he asked you out again. And I think just Lyle show up in a towel? Yeah. When he shows up in a towel. Yeah. And it's just so weird. How did you get the part? Did they already know your work?

No. I auditioned for it. I auditioned for it. And yeah, it kind of gives me PTSD because it was really scary because it was a really famous show. And they were all really famous. And I have really bad stage fright. So, you know, and there are a lot of rules for sitcoms, you know, like you have to be still and blank when the other person's delivering the punchline and I wasn't used to acting like that.

Like at one point, Jerry kind of told me off and said, like, you can't do that when I'm saying my line. And I was like, oh, God, okay. Did you understand your character? I mean, she's such a mystery. Like, why would she be going out with Jerry when she has a living boyfriend? Did you feel like, I need to know. I need to know who my character is?

No, Terry. I just was like, where do you want me to stand? And what should I just, you know, like, I? I was, God, no. I mean, no, I was really scared to, like, ask questions and be myself and, you know, no, no, no, no. Not until way later. Or if I, if I was on something like, you know, that wasn't intimidating, then I would ask questions. Like, wait, why would I, why would I, what is the deal? How should I play this? But I just, with something like this, I just was, would just, would just, white knuckler. and just feel like I really hope that I'm in the ballpark for what they want. So I want to play one more clip because your comic timing is so good in this. So this is the whole nine yards from 2000. And Matthew Perry is a dentist.

You work with him. And he tells you about a neighbor who's moved next door. And you recognize the name. The neighbor is a hitman. And it's your ambition to be a hitman. So you asked to be introduced. So here's you and Matthew Perry showing up. up at the door of the hitman's house,

and the hitman comes to the door, and you just start fan-girling, and the hitman is played by Bruce Willis. It is you. Mr. Tedesky, you don't understand. I'm one of your biggest fans. I've been following your career since I was a kid. You're the reason I'm trying to get into the business.

What business would that be? Contract killing. It's what I want to do, and if I could just have one afternoon of your time, I know that I could learn so much from you. So come in. You too. What's all this?

Do you say you know this girl? She's my assistant. Did you know she was a hitter? Actually, Mr. Teske, I'm still a virgin. I haven't killed anyone yet. You know, professionally. Oz was supposed to be my first. Excuse me?

His wife hired me. That was you? I was supposed to make it look like an accident, so I went to work for him so I could, you know, familiarize myself with his habits. Good. Get to know him. Smart. Thanks. But then after I got to know him, I started to like him.

First mistake. I know. She'd get close, but not too close. I was why don't you could pour yourself a martini? It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon. It's a really funny scene. So I'm trying to get my chronology. Was Friends a famous show yet in 2000 when you shot this?

Okay. Yes. Yes. So at this point, you're working with two big stars, Bruce Willis and Matthew Perry. What was your image of yourself in terms of, public knowledge of you as an actress? I don't know. I mean, Bruce Willis and Jonathan Lynn really picked me out of nowhere.

You know, like I didn't have any credentials or anything. I hadn't done anything that would make me think that I was going to land this role. And I wasn't known for being funny or anything. So I just auditioned. I read three times and the final two times I was with Bruce. And he picked me. And it was really insane. And it changed everything for me. I didn't really just even think about the fact that it was a comedy. I just, Jonathan Lynn said, just think of her as a cheerleader, except for instead of cheerleading,

she's doing contract killing. And so I look back on it with a lot of fondness. You had what strikes me as an interesting childhood. Your father was a corporate lawyer. took over the London office of his firm when you were young, so the family moved to London. How old were you? Seven. Okay. What was it like at seven to find yourself in a different country where people spoke English, but they spoke it differently?

And there were different TV shows and different foods. Yeah. We listened to chips on a tape, on a cassette tape, we would record chips, you know, the Highway Patrol show. and then listen to it again as entertainment. That's how desperate we were for American shows. This was an audio tape? Yeah, yeah. We would just listen to the audio over and over again

and just imagine what we had just seen. I think I went to a really strict little tiny English school for girls, and it was a far cry from the Quaker school I attended in New York, and it was definitely a culture shock, but I think looking back, it was really great. And I look back on it, I just think it was great that my parents sent us to an English school instead of the American school in London,

and they really wanted us to become immersed. But it was a lot of family time. We traveled a lot and together as a family, and it was sort of the last hurrah before my parents' divorce. So, and I think especially since they died recently, I look back on it as a time when, you know, when we were together as a family and it seemed quite happy. Well, we have to take another break,

so let me reintroduce you again. If you're just joining us, my guest is Amanda Peet. She stars on the new movie Fantasy Life, and she's one of the stars of the Apple TV series, your friends and neighbors, which recently started its second season. We'll be right back. This is fresh air. So your parents didn't like the idea of you becoming an actor, but you have theater roots in your family. You have two great-grandfathers who had remarkable careers. One became a Manhattan Borough president. And the other co-founded the Roxy Theater in Manhattan,

where the Rockettes originated, although they were originally the Rockets, apparently. And your grandfather's name was Samuel Rothafel, but he was nicknamed Roxy, so the theater was actually named after him, or maybe he named it after himself. Yeah, I think he probably named it after himself. And when it opened in 1927, it was like the biggest movie theater in the U.S. or maybe in the world, there were nearly 6,000 seats. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It was immortalized, too, in the title song of Guys and Days. all. So here's Stubby Kay from the original cast recording. What's playing at the Roxy? I'll tell you what's playing at the Roxy.

A picture about a Minnesota man so in love with a Mississippi girl that he sacrifices everything and moves all the way to Biloxi. That's what's playing at the Roxy. What's in the Daily News? I'll tell you what's the day. Tell you what's in the daily news. Story about a guy who bought his wife a small Ruby with what otherwise would have been his union Yes. Yeah. That's a big musical for me. Were you in high school? I was. So many people have been in a production of guys that's indulge on school.

The problem is that I wasn't Adelaide and all I want to do is be Adelaide. Who were you? I was Sarah. You were Sarah. Great. But the fun part is Adelaide. I think Sarah's a really great part with great songs. Well, she has one drunk song, which is really fun. Yeah. I still want to play Adelaide. I still. even if I have to go to some small town, I'd really just like to do it. And she would just be a 54-year-old Adelaide. Who's still not married? Yeah. In fact, yes, it would be a lot more understandable.

Why she's so upset. You want to be able to sing a poison could develop a cold? Yes. So is there a lot of Roxy lore in your family? Weirdly, no. I feel like it took us. It's like pulling teeth in my mom. It was like pulling teeth.

my mom's family. I think maybe there were some, the marriage wasn't great. This is my grandmother's parent. So I think, and Grams, Roxy's wife, was the one my mom really loved. So I think that she probably, I think Roxy really hurt her. I think that's sort of the deal. So we didn't celebrate him that much. Right. I don't know what my parents would say about Roxy Rothefel, I know the family lore is that he died broke. I think that my parents felt like there was something a little bit facile about acting, like a little bit frivolous, and like I said, vain. So it's different if you're in front of the camera, I think, than if you're behind the camera. I see. I see. And also, you know, the truth is, is I started out doing a fair amount of commercials,

and I was on a daytime soap opera and then something that was sort of a soap opera called Central Park West. And so I think those shows, you know, were catering to a certain kind of audience and my parents were not that audience. And so I think they were not disappointed, but just kind of like, I mean,

I think at some point in my career, my mom said something to me like, the things you're doing don't articulate anything about who you are or something like that. This was like later, but I still think that they weren't always excited

about just the thing that was the biggest thing, you know? So you have been married for about 20 years to David Benioff, the co-creator of the HBO series Game of Thrones. And I was introduced to his work in 2003 when the movie The 25th Hour came out. He had adapted it from his novel of the same name.

Spike Lee directed it. And it's a film I would really recommend. Did you already know each other back then, 2003? That was around the time of our first date. It was a blind date, and I think 25th hour was about to come out. So I knew that he'd written this novel, and I knew that maybe that's about all I knew. So how did it change your life when Game of Thrones became this international phenomenon?

Well, it was insane. It was absolutely insane. And it was a very precious time. We were living in Belfast for the summers in Northern Ireland. We had little babies. We were all. with David's partner, D.B. Weiss and his wife, Andrea, and the four of us were thick as thieves, living in Europe, and it was incredible. Why were you living? The timing of everything, like having little babies and having Game of Thrones blow up was, especially because Andrea and I, you know, I don't know if you know this, but when we first saw the dailies,

we were in my apartment in Belfast, and we thought the dailies looked horrific. and stupid. And we were literally like, this is just going to be an embarrassment. That was the pilot of Game of Thrones. And boy, were we wrong. What made you think it looked stupid? I think just we thought that the, like, there were these vines on the columns, and we thought they looked really cheesy,

and then we thought, like, the hair looked really cheesy, and we just were so full of negativity and we were just being like mean wives. And then, you know, six months later, we were like, can I buy an Emmy dress? So yeah, we ate our words. And yeah, and my mom would come to Belfast and come to Europe with us, with her caregiver,

and it was very special. There's a lot of violence in Game of Thrones and it went on, I mean, the series lasted for several years. Was it hard to prevent your children from watching it? They have no interest in watching it. Why not? They don't like our work. And I'm not even saying that as,

they just don't seem to respond to anything we've done, including Game of Thrones. So far. Maybe it's like a kind of just, my parents aren't cool thing. Did they say your number-being? Oh, yes, they did. They did, they did. They said they had to take out their phones when I was kissing the mani so that they could look away. But yeah. I mean, I said, why don't you watch something's got to give? Because I think you might like it. And then they turned it off after they saw Jack Nicholson on top of me or me on top of him. because they said it was inappropriate and, you know, sexist and, you know, gross.

So they turned it off. Well, it wasn't appropriate. Right. I said to them, that's the point of the movie. You'll see. Right, right. Because, like, you're, how old are you, like 20 or something in it? I don't know.

You're very young. And he's, like, decades older and ends up dating your mother, played by Diane Keaton. So, yeah. Do you think of that movie differently now? Not so much. I think the conceit of the movie is positive. He falls in love with the right person. But to be honest, I haven't seen it in a while.

But my guess is I would still adore that performance by Diane and feel like the movie is worthy. Since Diane Keaton starred with you in Something's Got to Give, and because she died recently, it would be lovely if you could. share some memories of working with her? I mean, the thing about Diane, when I knew her, is I feel like, very similarly with my mom, I feel like she was curious above all else. Like she was a woman who was interested and not at all preoccupied with how she was being perceived. And just such a maverick, kind of,

and which she was always so kind and hilarious and self-deprecating, everything you would hope she was, she would be, she was. Well, I want to thank you so much for coming on our show. It's just really been delightful to talk with you. Thank you so much, Terry. This is a dream come true for me. Amanda Pete stars on the new film Fantasy Life and stars opposite John Hamm in the series, Your Friends and Neighbors. Season 2 is streaming on Apple TV. Tomorrow on fresh air, an Israeli

and a Palestinian who each experienced unimaginable loss on either side of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Mao's parents were killed on October 7th by Hamas. Aziz Abu Saara's brother was killed by Israeli soldiers as a teenager in Palestine. Today they call each other brothers. They'll talk about their shared mission for peace. I hope you'll join us. To keep up with what's on the show and get highlights of our interviews,

follow us on Instagram at NPR Fresh Air. Fresh Air's executive producer is Sam Brigger. Our technical director and engineer is Audrey Bentham. Our interviews and reviews are produced and edited by Phyllis Myers, Anne-Marie Boldenado, Lauren Crenzel, Teresa Madden, Monique Nazareth, Thea Chaloner, Susan Yucundi, Anna Bauman, and Nico Gonzalez Whistler. Our digital media producer is Molly C.V. Nesper. Roberta Shorak directs the show. Our co-host is Tanya Mosley.

I'm Terry Gross.