Fresh Air - Best Of: Ariana Grande / Inside A Dominatrix's Dungeon
Episode Date: February 8, 2025We talk about the cultural phenomenon of Wicked with star Ariana Grande. She's nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Grande talks about some of the underlying messages in the film about ...belonging and good versus evil, and how growing up as a theatre nerd prepared her for this role.Also, writer and professional dominatrix Brittany Newell joins us to talk about her new novel Soft Core, which explores the underworld of San Francisco's dive bars, strip clubs, and BDSM dungeons. Maureen Corrigan reviews two quintessential New York City books.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
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From WHYY in Philadelphia, this is Fresh Air Weekend.
I'm Tanya Mosley.
Today, Ariana Grande joins me to talk about the cultural phenomenon of Wicked.
She's nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in the Musical Film, where she stars
as Galinda, set years before The Wizard of Oz.
Grande and I talk about some of the underlying messages in the film about belonging and good
versus evil.
And she says growing up performing, basically being a theater nerd, actually prepared her
for this role.
Like we're on our own planet.
We are aliens.
We are the best kind of nerd, by the way.
And some of us are so lucky to have it.
Also writer and dominatrix Brittany Newell joins us to talk about her new
novel Softcore which explores the underworld of San Francisco's dive bar strip clubs and BDSM
dungeons. And Maureen Corrigan reviews two quintessential New York City books. That's coming up
on Fresh Air Weekend. I'm Tanya Mosley. at npr.org slash tiny desk contest.
This is Fresh Air Weekend, I'm Tanya Mosley. The musical Wicked is a top contender
at this year's Academy Awards with 10 Oscar nominations,
including best supporting actress for my guest today,
Ariana Grande.
Wicked has become somewhat of a cultural phenomenon,
introducing new layers of the story of Oz
that really challenge audiences to look beyond surface appearances and question preconceived
notions of good and evil. Ariana Grande stars as the privileged and popular
Galinda, who develops a friendship with Elphaba, played by Cynthia Erivo, born
with green skin and ostracized by society. As a prequel to The Wizard of Oz,
the film is set years
before Dorothy arrives in Oz, and it charts the transformations of Elphaba into the Wicked
Witch of the West and Galinda into Glinda the Good. Here's Grande, as Galinda, singing
popular, a song that gives insights into her character.
Elphie, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project.
Oh, you really don't have to do that.
I know! That's what makes me so nice.
Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I, and let's face it right, who isn't less
fortunate than I, my tender heart tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover, I simply have to take over
I know, I know exactly what they need
And even in your case, though it's the toughest case I've yet to face. Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed.
Follow my lead and yes, indeed, you will be
Popular, you're gonna be popular
I'll teach you the proper ways when you talk to boys
The ways to flirt in France
I'll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair
Everything that really counts to be popular
I'll help you be popular. You'll
hang with the right cohorts. You'll be good at sports. Know the slang you've got to know.
So let's start, because you've got an awfully long way to go.
Ariana Grande says that from the moment she first saw the musical on Broadway at 10 years
old, her life was divided into two chapters, before Wicked and after.
True.
This is true.
This is very true.
Ariana Grande, welcome to Fresh Air.
Thank you, Tanya, for having me.
Thank you so much.
You know, this movie has become a cultural phenomenon, and it's so interesting how the
subtext really speaks to the time period that we're in.
It's a timeless story, but it also is like...
Very timely.
Yeah, very timely.
You first saw Wicked on Broadway at 10?
Yes, I was 10 years old and I got to see the original Broadway cast with Kristin Chenoweth
and Idina Menzel and Norbert Leo Butz and Chris Fitzgerald and it was very life-changing. What was it about Wicked?
Because I know that you were somewhat of a theater kid. You were singing lots of
musicals but this one in particular really spoke to you. Yes, I mean I think
you know I was so young. Of course I loved the music. I loved the comedy. I
remember Glinda's impact on the audience and that infectious laughter and how it made
me feel and everyone around me.
I think that was just like so impactful, but also the themes of sisterhood.
I don't think I ever saw a show or anything at that point that revolved around these two women who are so different,
learning each other and really falling in love with each other through their differences
and kind of learning how to protect and accept and celebrate each other,
even when it meant that they disagreed.
It was just kind of like this embodiment of like true unconditional love and friendship
in a way that I hadn't seen portrayed in a story before. And I think it really spoke
to me.
Is it true that you auditioned five times?
Okay, so I auditioned three times. My first audition, I sang actually for both roles.
Even though I came in in all pink.
I knew I was Glinda.
I knew that was what I was supposed to be doing.
I think they just asked me to sing for both parts.
For Elphaba and for this.
Yes, for both witches.
So I was of course down to do whatever was asked of me, of course.
And I had started training with my vocal coach Eric Vitro three
months before my first audition to train my voice to sing in a coloratura soprano placement,
which is quite different from what I usually do.
Even though my voice naturally sits in a high register, it's a totally different style of
singing. And, you know, though I do use my falsetto quite often in pop music, it's just a completely
different style, tone, vibrato, sound.
And usually I'm using in pop music either my like mixy belt or my whistle register.
So there's this big gap in between those two, which is where Glinda kind of lives, and where that operatic sound needed to be strengthened and found in my voice and trained
to become authentic sounding. It really required a lot of work. And what was really fun and
interesting about that was that I went to get my vocal cords checked at the beginning of my training process to see if I could see
a difference in like the muscles, like just how the shape is.
You can actually track the cords changing shape while I was training and stuff like
that.
It's really, I'm a nerd for that kind of stuff, but the training was extensive and
it was really thrilling to follow the progress.
And so for my first audition, I sang No One Mourns the Wicked and Popular, but I also
sang The Wizard Nine Defying Gravity.
But it was very clear what I was meant for.
That you were there for it, right?
For Glinda.
Yes.
And in case it wasn't clear, I was in all pink and I had a pink mug and I had a pink...
Everything was very Glindified.
Just sending the subliminal message.
And then I was called back for Glenda and I sang more Glenda songs. So that was my second audition
and that was really thrilling. And I got to do my scenes with the casting associate Tiffany
Little from from Bernie Telsey's office. and she was masked because this was during COVID, like kind of a little wave of it at the tail end of COVID but
the best thing was feeling that I could tell under her mask that she was
giggling because her eyes were smiling. You could see the smile in her eyes. And I could feel it
and it was just really special. And then my final callback was a chemistry test with two different
alphabas. It was three hours long and they were so beautiful and wonderful but
surprisingly neither one of them was Cynthia so we didn't actually get to
chemistry test together at all. Oh my gosh. I want to play a little bit from the
film so that folks can get an idea of your voice training that you're talking about.
I mean, you are known for your four octave range, but your acting is on full display in the film.
But as you mentioned, like you really had to get your voice in shape for this.
And so let's play a little bit of No One Mourns the Wicked.
Look, it's Glinda!
Let us be glad, let us be grateful,
let us rejoice if I that goodness could subdue
the wicked workings of you now hurt
Isn't it nice to know
That good will conquer evil
The truth we all believe, ah
Why and why I'll leave a way for you.
No one mourns the wicked.
That was my guest Ariana Grande singing No One Mourns the Wicked from the musical Wicked. We'll
continue our conversation after a short break. This is Fresh Air Weekend. I want
to play another pivotal scene from the film. It's when your character, Galinda,
and Elphaba first meet and Elphaba has arrived at school and everyone reacts.
They're really startled by the color of her skin which is green. The interaction the two of you have showcases your
differences because Elphaba is strong and smart and you're you're kind of silly
and a little bit superficial. Let's listen.
What? What are you staring at? Do I have something in my teeth?
No, it's just...
You're green.
I am.
Fine. Let's get this over with.
No, I am not seasick.
No, I did not eat grass as a child.
And yes, I've always been green.
Well, I for one am so sorry that you have been forced to live with this.
Is that so?
Yes.
And it is my intention to major in sorcery.
So if at some point you wanted to address the problem.
Problem?
Perhaps I could help.
Oh.
She's so good. She's so good.
She's so good!
We love you!
Oh!
Wow!
Wow!
Thank you!
Wow!
Thank you!
All right!
Offering to help someone that you don't know
with skills that you don't have,
I'm sure everyone is duly impressed.
I could care less what others think.
Couldn't.
What?
You couldn't care less what other people think. Though I doubt that.
That was my guest, Ariana Grande, starring as Galinda in the musical film Wicked. Ariana, Galinda is kind of like the foil for Elphaba. She represents conformity and societal
expectations while Elphaba embodies this rebellious thing, you know, she's trying to be an individual.
She's kind of forced to be because she is seen as such. Are there elements of both of
them? It's so interesting that you came prepared to audition for both of them knowing that you came prepared to audition for both of them, knowing that you were there for one.
But do you see elements of yourself in both characters
or either of the characters?
It's funny because I feel like that is why Wicked
is what it is.
I think that's why people respond to it the way that they do
because I think pieces of both of these women
exist within all of us.
And I think that's what makes it hit home the way that it does
and touch people the way that it does,
because I think everyone can identify a time in their life
where they felt like Elphaba at the center of the dance floor
at the Osdus Ballroom,
while everyone is circled around her laughing
or making her feel othered.
Everyone, I think, has felt that at least once.
And simultaneously, I think everyone can also acknowledge a time in their life where they
felt like Linda in that moment as well, where they know that the mirror is being held up
and they have an opportunity to change and to become better, where the bubble of privilege or of circumstance that is specific to them
is popped for the first time.
Life-changing moment, where we learn
to see something a different way.
And I think because of the incredible nuance
and humanness that lives within both of them,
that's why they both live in all of us, kind of.
And I think that's why it feels the way it does for so many people.
Is it true that the two of you insisted on, because Cynthia is also an amazing vocalist as well.
She's the best in the whole world. She really is, I swear. And as incredible, I'm sorry, I promise I'll let you ask your question,
but as beautiful as she sounds in the film and the end result and whatever it is,
it's even more stunning face to face, just in person, in the thin air.
It's just such a spectacular gift that she has.
I'm sorry, what was the question?
Well, the two of you all, is it true that you insisted on singing on set?
Yes.
Which doesn't always happen when there's a musical movie happening.
Yeah. Well, it kind of demands it. The material demands that because
the
emotional context of what we're singing about sometimes
can evoke the performance to be different take to take. Sometimes it's more emotional, sometimes it's different,
sometimes it's stronger, sometimes,
and also with the comedic elements, I love to improv.
I love to surprise people.
So I also, as Glinda kind of required that freedom
to be able to do whatever felt most honest
and Galinda in the moment.
So the material demands it from both of us.
Also, we are singers, we love to sing.
We love to sing so much,
and it would have felt dishonest to not sing live for this.
And also, there's even more,
there are so many beautiful Galindas and Elphabas
who have done this on Broadway, in the West End, on tour, eight shows a week.
So in solidarity with them, if we have to do something 28 takes in a row live, we will do it.
We're a part of a beautiful coven. And we had to do that with our sister witches.
But also it really just comes back to allowing the performances to be as honest as possible.
If we are married to a track that's pre-recorded, there's less room for honesty to pour out.
And when you're emotional, your voice cracks and you have things seep through that are
beautiful in their own way.
So that was a really extraordinary gift.
And Simon Hayes, our incredible head of sound,
turned the set into a recording studio.
I mean everywhere you looked there was a microphone.
And Cynthia's hat and both of my little peaks of my bubble dress, the pink bubble dress,
in the bubble itself and the wig and the thing and everything.
That required a lot of work to be able to protect the quality and make sure that we were covered from every angle because if a gust of wind came or if, which there
was so much wind and everything and rain and flying.
Just all the elements that were part of the production.
Yes, and somehow Simon was able to figure it out.
And also you can hear in the background.
You're so excited.
I'm a nerd when it comes to this stuff, can you tell?
But when I was helping with the vocal production, which was really a cool part of this, and
I was helping comp through the live takes of Defying Gravity.
And I called Cynthia on FaceTime because I was so excited with what I...
You could hear her little...
When you solo the vocal for the second verse, you hear her little feet
going up the stairs in the background when you solo the vocal and I'm a nerd
so I love that. You could hear the little stairs creaking and her shoes
going up and it was so cool. You're like a savant when it comes to sound, huh?
Would you would you say that? I think that's such a nice, that's such a generous way of putting it.
Well, I think it's interesting.
You know, I have met a few people, but not a lot of people who comment on all of the sound.
I do love sound.
Not just the vocals.
I love sound.
I love voices and different tones and different textures.
And I think that's why when I was younger, I learned impersonations at a young age.
Like Judy Garland might have actually been my first
with The Wizard of Oz being on TV.
I remember just sort of looking at her posture
and also like her vibrato and her tone
and finding that so interesting,
noticing how voices can be so different at a young age.
I'm just imagining a young little Ariana
in front of the television looking at Judy Garland.
Was there a particular line of hers or any part of the film that comes to you that you
used to impersonate?
Well, Somewhere Over the Rainbow was a big one.
I loved Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
I used to wear my little gingham dress in front of the TV, but I used to do a weird thing
where I would wear it with like a scary movie mask.
Like the movie Scream.
Like the movie Scream.
Yeah, the movie Scream.
Or a Jason mask.
I had that as well.
The one with the little hockey thing.
It was quite strange, but I needed to put my twist on it.
What was that?
Oh, I don't know.
I wish I could tell you.
But it makes sense.
Yes.
Like if you know, I don't know.
My mom loved Halloween and we all loved Halloween.
It all made sense back then.
Yes it did.
It's hard to put a finger on it now, but I just feel like it helps set up the visual.
I don't want to over speak, but did you ever feel like people thought of you as a pop star
and maybe not hefty enough to take on a role like this?
Oh, totally. Oh, absolutely. And then some. I felt like I had everything working against me
for when, you know, with it, when it comes to this role. I didn't think I,
you know, I genuinely felt like I had so much to prove so that I could earn the openness from
John, from the casting directors, from the producers, to
maybe see a possible chance that I could disappear into this person.
I thought, oh my goodness, I know what's required of Glinda.
I know she's funny, I know it's high notes, and I know that maybe some people who don't
know her well enough would think that I'm the perfect fit, but that's just kind of scratching
the surface. And I have to kind of be able to earn this and have every tool in my box
available to me to use so that every piece of her that is emotional, that is dramatized, that is insecure, that is why Glinda is the way she is, you
know, so reliant upon external validation and the popularity and how important that
is to her. And, you know, that's a real person under there with a real beating heart and
where she goes from part one, her arc in act two and what she experiences and, you know,
it requires a lot, this role.
And I thought that I would really have a lot to prove.
That's why I took the audition process so seriously,
because I knew I wanted to do the work so desperately
to earn a chance.
How do you push away self-doubt?
Hmm.
I think you kind of have to, this is something that my acting coach, Nancy Banks, and I talked about so much.
She is one of the most goodly good witches on this earth, I have to say.
But you know, it's just befriending those monsters in a way.
You kind of look at them and say, hey.
The monsters being self-doubt.
Yeah, self-doubt or fear or whatever it is, or nerves or whatever.
And you have to kind of realize nerves are great.
It means you care so much and that your ego can be left far, far, far behind in a faraway land
so that you can do beautiful work and so that you know you care.
You're acknowledging this and using those nerves as positive carbonation for the performance
and also being able to put a little flashlight on your little fears or monsters in your head and say like,
Hi, thank you for protecting me.
They're totally valid, your fears of, you know, the ways in which this might, you know, could possibly whatever.
Thank you for caring the way that you do.
However, I have work to do.
It would be beautiful if you could please step outside
and get me a coffee, maybe come back later.
You know, you're totally going to come back later.
I know that.
So thank you for stepping away for a little,
because I have to get to know Glinda for now.
And I have to do this work.
I have to give myself over to this person for a little bit and then I'll get to know
her monsters in the meantime so that she can have real monsters in her head and those can
be present.
And it's just kind of learning how to do that dance.
It's all a mental dance.
So it's important to learn how to navigate those guys and be able to embrace and also keep them
where they're supposed to be. One of the things about a movie like Wicked, I
mentioned right off the top that it's a cultural phenomenon, is that it has now
become for young people like the same thing that the Broadway play was for you
at a young age but in a more accessible way, because it's a movie.
So kids of all walks of life who won't ever be able to see a theater production can now be a part of this in a real way.
You've had firsthand experiences with people who shared with you how much this movie means to them.
Can you share some of that with me? I mean it's an incredible privilege to be
a part of this version of it and to have it be so accessible to so many people
and to see the response be what it's been. I think so many new theater kids
have been born, you know, and that's such a beautiful gift because it's such an extraordinary community
and a beautiful community to grow up in. It's a safe place. You feel less alone
when you find a fellow theater kid, when you find someone who loves the same
musicals as you. So it's really moving and really special.
Ariana Grande, thank you so much for this conversation.
It's been such a pleasure to meet you.
Thank you, Tanya.
Congratulations on your Oscar nomination.
Thank you so much.
Ariana Grande has been nominated for her role
in the movie musical Wicked.
The film has received 10 Oscar nominations. The new Bob Dylan movie has put our book critic Maureen Corrigan in a New York state of mind.
Here's her review of two quintessential New York books.
I've always loved coming to New York stories and judging from the acclaim that's greeted the new Bob Dylan movie, America does too.
Dylan, played by Timot Timothy Chalamet, arrives in
the Greenwich Village of 1961. In no time, this complete unknown is embraced by the burgeoning
folk scene of Greenwich Village, thanks in part to the city's gift of proximity. But I wonder about
the longevity of the coming-to-New York genre.
These stories of arrival and promise fulfilled are almost always nostalgic, predating the
New York of obscenely high rents.
And does a dreamer even need to come to New York, or any city for that matter, in the
age of the internet?
In a New York minute, Kay Sohini vanquished my doubts. Her debut
book, a graphic memoir called This Beautiful Ridiculous City, affirms the enduring power
of New York and the power of literature to give people the courage to cross all manner
of borders. Sohini is a South Asian graphic artist who grew up in the suburbs of
Calcutta, living, as she says, in a sprawling ancestral house with four generations and far
too many territorial people. From a young age, she was a loner and a reader, a reader peculiarly drawn to New York stories.
Everybody writes about New York with so much tenderness,
even when they are sick of it, Sohini says.
And so from afar, she began to read her way into New York.
Years later, Sohini broke away
from a long abusive relationship with a man who she says made a room smaller
just by walking into it.
Staking her escape on little more than her years of reading
and a modest fellowship to grad school,
the wounded Sohini flew to New York.
Through understated language and jolting comic-style images, Sohini tells a vivid, multi-dimensional
New York story of her own.
There's her Odyssey, a capsule history of modern India, and always references to books,
books, books.
This beautiful, ridiculous city engages with a good slice of the essential New York City
literary canon. From Anne Petrie to Fran Lebowitz, E.B. White to Dylan Thomas, Colson Whitehead,
Nora Ephron, and fellow graphic memoirist Alison Bechtel. Like all these chroniclers of the city, Sohini sometimes questions her illogical attachment
to such a difficult place, wondering if, I am forever doomed to love things and people
whose reciprocation is fraught with contradictions.
But New York, in image and reality, saved her, and her love for the city remains hearty.
One New York City writer Sohini doesn't mention is Gay Talese, who's hailed, along with Norman
Mailer, Joan Didion, and Tom Wolfe, as a pioneer of new journalism.
Talese, now in his early 90s, has written a lot of great pieces about New York,
many of which are gathered together in a new book called A Town Without Time. The very first piece
Thales published in Esquire in 1960 leads off this collection. It's called, New York is a City of Things Unnoticed. Among
the thousands of things to lease notices are the night workers, truck drivers, cops, hacks,
cleaning ladies, who line up for movies in Times Square at 8 a.m. Other essays here ruminate on the oft overlooked Verrazano Narrows
Bridge and mobster Joe Bonanno. Worth the price of this collection alone is
Talise's masterpiece, Frank Sinatra Has a Cold. This 1966 profile of old blue eyes
packs the sparkle, fizz, and complexity of genuine New York seltzer.
Here's Thelisse reading from the opening of that profile, as originally heard on This
American Life.
Sinatra with a cold is Picasso without paint, Ferrari without fuel, only worse.
For the common cold robs Sinatra of that uninsurable jewel his voice,
cutting into the core of his confidence and it affects not only his own psyche but also
seems to cause a kind of psychosomatic nasal drip within dozens of people who work for
him, drink with him, depend on him for their own welfare and stability.
Just as Sohini assures us that New York still draws in dreamers,
Thales reminds us that New York is already riddled with ghosts,
many of them tough talking and hard drinking.
Eight million stories and counting about the city,
but still room for more.
Maureen Corrigan is a professor of literature at Georgetown University.
She reviewed This Beautiful
Ridiculous City by Kay Sahini and A Town Without Time by Gay Talise.
Coming up, writer and dominatrix Brittany Newell talks about her new novel Softcore,
which is set in San Francisco's underworld. I'm Tanya Mosley and this is Fresh Air Weekend.
My next guest, author Brittany Newell, loves to write about the secret worlds of others,
the things people do, she says, to make their lives more bearable. Her newest novel, Softcore,
takes the reader into San Francisco's underworld of dive bars, strip clubs, and BDSM dungeons,
where tech bros, executives, and outcasts live out their fantasies. Ruth, the protagonist,
is a stripper who unravels when her ex-boyfriend, a ketamine dealer, disappears. Ruth, known by her
stripper name Baby Blue, starts working as a professional dominatrix where she tries to
fulfill the
deepest desires of her clients, who mostly want to talk to her about how lonely they
are and the grief they carry.
Brittany Newell draws from personal experience.
In addition to being a writer, she is also a professional dominatrix.
A graduate of Stanford University, she studied comparative literature and gender studies
and wrote her debut novel, Oola, in 2017 when she was 21 years old. It's been described
as the millennial Lolita. Newell has written for the New York Times, Joyland and Playgirl.
She and her wife run a monthly drag and dance party called Angels at Aunt Charlie's Lounge,
which is one of San Francisco's oldest queer bars.
Now before Brittany and I get into our conversation, I want to warn you that this is an adult
conversation not appropriate for children and we'll be talking about adult themes and topics
including sex work. With that, Brittany Newell, welcome to Fresh Air. Hi, thank you for having me.
I'm over the moon. Yes, well thank you for
being here. I really enjoyed your book. It was such a good read. And I want to know first off,
how much of soft core is fiction and how much of it is based on real life? Oh yeah, that's the
million dollar question. I have seen some early reviewers saying that it's a memoir, which it is definitely not. I want that to
be clear, but I think it's a completely valid question. And I catch myself doing it as a
reader too, like the conflation of the main character with the author. And so, of course,
I've thought about this a lot and been asked this a lot. And I think the ways that it is non-fictional are sort of subtler than one might realize.
Like, I think the sensory details of my life and the characteristics of the people that
I'm close to and that I've spent a lot of time noticing and observing,
I think those are always the things that end up making their way into a book, which is
sort of like, I always say, like the tax of dating or loving or befriending a writer is
that all of these sort of like very specific, intimate, sometimes seemingly insignificant
details are the things that end up being like woven into the book
and making it have like the texture of real life.
And in a way that it's like probably only like that person would see themselves in it when they read it
and be like, oh, like that's the brand of perfume that I use.
Yeah, exactly. Like, oh, like, that's my, like, turmeric-colored bedspread.
Right. I mean, I could see why, knowing that your main character, Ruth, she has a master's
degree. She's working in these underworlds. And like you, you are a Stanford graduate.
And you have a really interesting story into your foray into these worlds, which we're
going to get to in just a moment. But Ruth, the protagonist in the book, she's also known as her stripper name
Baby. And one of the more powerful elements of your writing is that you not only explore
what's in it for the guys that she services, you also explore outside of money what's in
it for her to be a stripper and a dominatrix?
How would you describe Ruth?
Oh, that's a great question.
I think Ruth is lonely, and it actually has made me reflect a lot on my writing in general.
And I think I'm always writing about characters who are defined by their longing and motivated by like trying to fill the God-shaped
hole inside of them to use like 12-step language.
And so I think Ruth is a holy person, like H-O-L-E-Y, as perhaps we all are.
Yeah, and I think she has a lot of reservations about her own lovability and also her own
desirability, which maybe is one of the many reasons why she enjoys her work as a stripper
and later as a dominatrix.
And I think she's a very curious person, which probably would be the main ways that I think
I'm like Ruth.
Like I actually think I'm very different from Ruth, but we do share that fundamental curiosity
and like an attraction to underworlds or shadows maybe.
Like I feel like she's very unafraid of things that other people might deem like seedy or
grubby. I think she feels at ease
in those environments or with those types of people.
Well, one of the things that Ruth does throughout the book is kind of make clear that she sees
herself as average. And she does this like in her description of her physicality, what
she looks like. She's like the girl next door. I think
that she said that she made men's mangy dreams come true. Why was it important for Ruth to
be kind of an average girl with an average body in this world?
Yeah. Well, I think I wanted it to be real and I wanted it to be empathetic and relatable and realistic
and all of these things.
So I think, and it makes Ruth, I think, a more, like a character that we would see everywhere
and a person who, yeah, isn't this like flashing billboard image of a woman, even though in the sex work world
that's always what you're portraying or the role that you're stepping into.
But even for the most gorgeous woman working as a stripper or whatever, that would always be
a fantasy or a role that one is inhabiting. And I think all women, like regardless of what they look like, are actually like really
good at that and are really like learned to, yeah, to play the role and to understand what
someone wants before they understand it themselves.
That's probably what makes an excellent sex worker, I think, is that almost like mind-reading
empathy and the ability to shape-shift.
And actually, I think that that's another big part of Ruth's averageness kind of being
a benefit to her in these worlds is it allows her to shape-shift.
And in general, she's a shape--shifter like outside the club as well. How did you go from being a Stanford graduate to a dominatrix? Well I
guess probably the the useless gender studies degree. No I'm just kidding.
Right because you did right you did study gender yeah exactly contemporary
fiction yeah yeah yeah well I think when I graduated you know I had the Right, you did study queer experience, contemporary fiction.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I think when I graduated, you know, I had the bizarre and gorgeous but also very
weird experience of publishing my book.
So I wrote it when I was, I guess, like 20, and then it came out right when I graduated.
So that was amazing.
And I think for me, and still actually,
like the most important thing to me upon graduating
was wanting to have freedom and control of my time.
And once my advance from the first book
rather quickly ran out, I did the usual food service jobs,
bartender or waitress, and anyone who's worked in food service knows how, you know, taxing
that can be like mentally and psychically. And so I think like many artists and many
people I started to despair because I felt like I was losing this control
of my time and my space.
So I think like all of the decisions I made around the types of work that I would end
up going into were originally driven by this desire for freedom and control of my time. And, you know, like if you can work one day of the week for $800 an hour and then have
the rest of the week to write, that's the dream, you know.
That's what has...
And then I think once I got into it, in addition to the freedom and control of my time, you know, then I started to fall in love with it for the curiosities,
like how it satisfied my own curiosities and the excitement of it. And just, you know,
like I'm a writer, so I'm always interested in stories. And I kind of like randomly found
this job or this type of work where people are
always telling you not just their stories but they want to tell you their secrets, you know,
and I love to listen. So I kind of felt almost like called to the job, you know, like as
someone who wants nothing more than to be like a keeper of these masculine secrets or to be a witness
to people's longings and a witness to their grief.
Like, it felt, you know, not to say that I didn't have like weird sessions or rude clients,
like, of course, like I never want to give off this impression that, you know, everything
is always like rosy.
But-
Sitting down and talking, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, this is so fascinating to me
because one of the things in reading this book
that I kept thinking about is that you also have to sit
in this seat of non-judgment
for all of the requests that come to you.
Is there ever a moment where you do judge
or where do you put yourself as far as as your mental space, to come to the table
so that you can accept whatever,
as long as you're safe, of course,
whatever is being requested of you
or brought to you as a fantasy?
Yeah, well, I mean, of course,
like as a dominatrix and a provider,
I have my own limits and I have the things that I really enjoy.
Like, I love cross-dresser sessions.
I feel like I'm the perfect person for that because I have lots of cross-dressers in my
regular life too.
And, you know, there's things that I don't do either because I mainly more just because
I feel like I'm not good at it.
But to answer your question more specifically,
you know, like if someone's presenting me with a fantasy,
like this disembodied fantasy, I think in general,
I would like to think I'm a very open-minded person.
And I don't think it's particularly hard to feel into their fantasy when the central longing or the central
appetite behind the fantasy is clear to me or is laid bare.
So much of the time, it might seem inaccessible or insane, like a certain fantasy, but the heart of it is more relatable
or familiar than maybe people would like to admit.
So yeah, I guess it's about empathy, which, you know, I always like to say that what makes
a good writer is also what makes a good dominatrix, which is empathy and curiosity and bravery.
So I guess those things like all coming together make it not easy, but make it make me feel
able to receive these fantasies. And I guess I think of myself, I said it earlier, but
like to be a witness, you know, like to witness something and hold space for it,
you know, even if it's not my particular.
Your cup of tea.
Yeah, not my flavor.
Yeah. Right.
But to witness it feels important.
Has there ever been an instance
where you've seen these men in real life,
in day-to-day life, at the grocery store, at the post office.
And if that's the case, like, you just pretend you just walk on by.
Right, right.
Like a therapist, right?
Like, I guess when your therapist sees you out in the world, they're not supposed to
acknowledge you.
Uh, I saw, only once actually, which is kind of interesting that it would only be once.
And it was, I was late and walking to the dungeon
to have a session with this person
who was like killing time on the corner.
And I remember he was wearing, you know, like the green M&M?
He was wearing like a green M&M t-shirt
and eating a piece of pizza.
No, I was eating a piece of pizza.
And I remember thinking like, oh no,
this is like so like ruining his fantasy
because I'm wearing like street clothes
and like wearing like my like ratty like faux fur jacket
and eating pizza really hurriedly
because I'm late to my session.
And I remember we just like locked eyes
and then I just like kept walking.
And then, you know, 10 minutes later he's at the dungeon
and we didn't acknowledge it.
Right, because that's part of the fantasy
is it stays what's in the dungeon stays in the dungeon.
Exactly, and you know, his fantasy of a dominatrix What are the fantasy? Is it stays what's in the dungeon stays in the dungeon? Exactly.
And his fantasy of a dominatrix would probably be someone who lives and sleeps and eats in
like a full latex suit.
So I felt kind of bad.
I was like, oh no, I disrupted that fantasy for him with my pizza.
You're young.
We kind of bask in the glow of Ruth's youth in this book.
Even though she does encounter OGs, like the woman who runs this home, this house, you
know, BDSM house, is there a life cycle for this kind of work?
You know, I think it's obvious, for stripping, for instance, but like in particular to be a dominatrix, is there an end date?
I don't think there's a particular age, but I do think that sex work in general is not something that you should plan to do forever, which again,
you know, is true of many jobs. But I feel that it is so exhausting and there is like
a certain amount of like emotional drainage that happens that and you know, inevitably,
you know, it's also like the same thing with like, you
shouldn't model forever. Well, I guess you can't model forever. But you know, there is
like a...
Or like athletes.
Yeah. But you know, it does sort of change how you view yourself if you're not so careful
with your boundaries. And the reality is that like most people start doing sex work when
they're really, really young and don't have those boundaries in place. So,
actually, I would say it's better to start when you're a bit older, like, at
least 25, when your, like, prefrontal cortex has developed. I mean, not that I
did that, but now that I'm 30 and looking back, I'm like, actually, I think it's
better to start when you're a bit older and to have a plan for
your future self. I mean, you know, there are, of course, like, dominatrixes of all
ages, but I, yeah, I just think, like, how taxing it can be on your, like, psychic state
is something that, yeah, you should take care of yourself in that way, you know, like, because
you're really absorbing so many people's energies and so much vulnerability and, yeah, you should take care of yourself in that way, you know, because you're really absorbing so many people's energies and so much vulnerability.
And yeah, you know, we are therapists, but we're maybe not trained therapists.
So I think sometimes those boundaries can be slipperier than we realize until it's too
late.
Do you know other careers that other DOMs have gone to once they leave this kind of work?
Well, literally like therapists.
I know so many Doms and sex workers of all stripes who then become so interested in therapy
because they realize that that's what they've been doing.
Brittany Newell, thank you so much for this book.
Thank you.
It was such a fun read and this was such a delightful conversation.
Thank you.
Thank you. I had so much fun and this was such a delightful conversation. Thank you. Thank you.
I had so much fun and thank you so much for reading.
Brittany Newell is the author of the new novel, Softcore.
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